¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Jeremy, 29, Bay Area. Shitposts/XIV/videogames

[archivedzaanka]

HALO: REACH (2010)

[rydenxo]

does tumblr know about tim misny??? like has the level of tim misny awareness that exists in northeast ohio broken containment and become known online yet???

[rydenxo]

ok so tim misny is a personal injury lawyer here in ohio.

that’s him. you do not have to remember his face from this image because you’re gonna see it a lot in this post. so mainly i think we all kinda honed in on tim misny because of his slogan

he’s gonna make them pay. he’s gonna get you that money but also it’s a little threatening like he’s gonna fully fuck his legal opponent’s shit up. this sprung tons of local memes. then there were the billboards which were normal at first.

but here’s the thing; we already know what misny does. he makes them pay. so it turns into just saying “you know what i do” which is funny enough if you don’t at all have the context.

but this is not where the absurdity caps out, my friends. no. this is what it has evolved to and they. are. everywhere.

that’s right. no text. just the judging eyes of tim misny, glaring through our skin and into our souls. there is no god. there is no devil. there is just tim misny and he’s gonna make them pay.

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

square enix please answer my emails

[ordicanary]

SIGNALIS

[boymiffy]

what is everyones album of the month !!!

[squeakitties]

sensually massaging WD-40 into your robot gf’s joints

[katelyndanger]

WD-40 is a terrible lubricant actually, especially for high friction parts like limb joints. WD stands for Water Displacement and is good for treating wet rust and expelling moisture, but terrible for minimizing friction.

What you’d really want is SAE10-30 or if she’s older, an oil with a higher viscosity like a SAE20-40.

[libertineangel]

I liked this post and not ten later Tumblr brings me this

[lexsnotdead]

and in those days shall people seek death, and shall not find it

[paradise008]

[annuminas]

wach auf,

[destiny-islanders]

adding injury to insult

[illusti]

i just played signalis and i'm obsessed. more fanart probably incoming...

[caesarsaladinn]

Metal Gear characters are really like “I’m fed up with politics and tired of killing and dying for someone’s dumb ideology. soldiers deserve a haven where they can be their own masters and follow their own passion—killing and dying for the sheer love of the game and maybe cash if we’re lucky.”

[caesarsaladinn]

“war is a terrible thing, crushing the third world in the shoving matches of the great colonizing powers, maintaining the exploitative status quo. I will end this meaningless killing by creating the most enormous, heavily armed, and profitable mercenary army in history and selling its services to whomever offers the best incentives for me personally.”

[play-now-my-lord]

i go to the job interview. there is a square table set out with a dish of assorted unwrapped candies, and an HR manager sitting on one chair facing the door. if i were a cis woman i would sit across from him, whereas if i was a cis man i would sit next to him. in either case i would take one piece of candy and slip it into my pocket for later. the HR manager rises to shake my hand. there are a million strategies to make a good impression on an interviewer with the correct handshake, but this isn't my first rodeo.

ignoring his hand, i plunge my hand into the bowl of candy and deftly grab a handful, then begin feeding the HR manager. initially he's agitated by my approach but i calm him down with my gentle demeanor. pretty soon he's eating candy straight out of my hand. good sign. when he sits down i brush off his lap with a handkerchief (shows respect for his clothes by not using a bare hand, shows concern for cleanliness and thorough nature to clean off his lap).

i sit directly on his lap, and he winces in pain from my weight. "easy there, big fella. i'm not gonna hurt you." i pat him on the head and reach into my pocket. i pull out a stick of wintergreen gum. the scent and flavor of the wintergreen calm his wild spirit and give me free rein to reach into the pocket of his trousers. "you won't be needing this anymore," i say, placing his wallet just beyond his arm's reach on the table. "that life is behind you."

carefully, i take his shoes. this is the hard part - even taking loafers off of an HR manager can startle them, make them bolt. but he trusts me. i put his shoes on my feet. they fit perfectly. i'm now ready to take his jacket and work badge and release him into the wild. he'll be disoriented at first, but within a few months, he'll rehabituate to the natural environment, maybe even find a mate and start a family. i'll be a valued employee at my new job by then.

don't worry about his clothes and wallet. he'll find new ones, they always do. nature provides for all creatures.

[megatron-moving-to-megatron]

fuck dude im sorry my horse broke down i cant make.it to the feast

[jcrewguy]

[salmon4dinner]

island sanctuary

[cetra]

—i love when tragedies are like “the love was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there”