at least I'm not disappointing myself

Hi I'm Jess (27, she/they/anything you want if you're cute) Very queer, trans of centre , solo poly and real single If you know me IRL no you don't (you can stay if you don't make it weird) (if you're under 18 leave now - under 20 and/or are str8 + cis I won't talk to you but you're allowed (I guess) Otherwise, hi!

[feverfangs]

someone who naturally sneezes a lot but knows you like it, so they tease you with it every chance they get.

sneezing on you by "accident" (bonus if they're taller,) snurfling right against the shell of your ear, rubbing their nose on your neck so that you can hear the little squelching clicking sound it makes, constantly whining about how itchy their nose is, deliberately "forgetting" to take their allergy meds or to bring tissues with them,, dude the list goes on.

[jess-acheiw]

Today I had to be super normal about a new friend being like "yeah I should probably not roll in the grass given that I'm allergic to it" and then rolling in the grass anyway with entirely predictable consequences (sneezing several times, being so so sniffly) and refusing my offer of antihistamines because she was "already on them, believe it or not"

and also about another friend letting out an enormous wet sneeze out of nowhere mid sentence and just not acknowledging it at all and continuing their sentence

[snzzzzz420]

yes. Crop it. Yes make the sickie wear it with their soft belly exposed. Make the sickie use it as a tissue.. .

[itchy-nostrils]

I *need* some crowded bar/club sneezes - ASAP

[jess-acheiw]

ended up in a conversation yesterday where someone said "I want to make slow motion videos of people sneezing naked" to the group in front of one of the very few people who know about my fetish IRL (the person who said that does NOT know, and allegedly does not have the fetish). They proceeded to explain that they just thought it was neat how the body and face contorted with a sneeze.

my friend afterwards was like "that was a one in a billion scenario"

[starrysnz]

Mary Pickford - Hoodlum (1919)

[jess-acheiw]

don't you hate it when you're trying not to have a crush on somebody and they show up to the function with really bad allergies

because I am suffering.

[jess-acheiw]

what if someone had a really bad/nonexistent sense of smell and so was like "I have no idea why I'm sneezing so much" meanwhile it's super obvious to everyone else with them that they're reacting to a particular flower or perfume or something in the air

(I met someone recently who was just born that way and it is wild to me that she simply Does Not Perceive even strong bad smells because my ability to do that is put to very good use on at least a weekly basis - but also she doesn't feel like she's missing out on anything because again, born that way)

[jess-acheiw]

I wish I wasn't so prepared sometimes because if I wasn't always carrying allergy meds in my bag I might actually get to see some of my less prepared friends *sneeze* from their allergies but instead they're like "oh no I didn't think I needed allergy meds today" and I'm immediately like "oh no do you want some from my bag" and they're like "you're so prepared, thank you"

*also has chhinkni in their bag awaiting the day someone's like wow I wish I was having an uncontrollable sneezing fit right now!*

[snzqt]

"i don’t think you wanna come… i have a cold"

oh my god, shut up. i wanna fuck you and take care of you afterward.

[snezus-christ-risen]

Someone has no qualms about helping themself to their partner’s body when they need to cover a sneeze (or several) or wipe their runny nose. Even better if the partner has the kink and really doesn’t mind being used as a human tissue.

[jess-acheiw]

I was at an outdoor event the other day and someone else there had forgotten mittens. Poor thing was freezing, and her nose was running. I lent her my spare gloves and proceeded to see her use her gloved hands to pinch, rub, and wipe her nose all afternoon which was very cute. She was very grateful and also apologized for it when she came over to give them back at the end of the day like "sorry, I might have wiped my nose on your gloves a little bit".

I was like "no worries, I'll just wash them when I get home" but I was distracted because her nose was *dripping* while she was telling me this.

and right after I said this, she rubbed at her nose AGAIN before taking the gloves off and giving them back

(I was thinking "friend, what do you MEAN a little bit" but I didn't want to embarrass her lol)

[sniffles-and-tickles]

skip this video if you don’t want to see me sneeze on you, warning yes it’s messy yes you can see the snot yes it got all over my phone 🥴 but please i’m wishing you were here for this

[jess-acheiw]

I am once again posting a video of myself sneezing on tumblr.com for your viewing pleasure

[jess-acheiw]

I have allergies right now but the kind where my eyes are itchy and not my nose wtf the fuck

[thomsnz]

Fantasizing about having a partner or friends with benefits where we could/would just induce a sneeze around the house at any time, as casually as you might get up and get a drink or go to the kitchen

[virtualprodigyunicorn]