Crowley was still as stone beside him. His ears were cherry-red. “So...if we pretend we’re in a relationship, we’ll be safe.”
“I believe so.”
“And that would, that would involve, what?” he spoke hesitantly, softly. “Holding your hand, telling you that you mean a lot to me, kissing you for them to see?”
Two great hands were constricting Aziraphale’s lungs. He fought back an undignified wheeze. “Yes, I think so.”
“I can do that,” he croaked.
~
In a panic, Aziraphale tells the archangels he survived hellfire due to his soul mixing with Crowley's because they're in a romantic and sexual relationship. They want him to prove it. Cue a fake relationship.
Words: 52,921
Status: Complete
Rating: Explicit
⭐️⭐️
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Aziraphale claps a hand over his mouth, as though he’s at risk of saying it out loud, all of it—blaspheming and swearing and realizing that he’s in love with Crowley, all in one go. He presses his fingers hard over shock-parted lips.
His other hand clutches the precious satchel of books that Crowley saved for him: Crowley, who knew him so well, who anticipated before even Aziraphale what the angel would need.
Crowley, who went out of his way in the midst of flaming death and possible discorporation to rescue these few fragile objects that would matter to Aziraphale. Crowley, who he hasn’t seen in too long—but who never stopped showing up regardless to save him from the preposterous situations Aziraphale found himself in all too often.
Words: 10,156
Status: Complete
Rating: Explicit
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Aziraphale character meta and thoughts on the end of S2.
Here I am, writing one of these posts.
There are two fundamental Tenets of Aziraphale, equally weighted, and they are:
God is good.
Crowley is good (or at the very least 'not evil')
You will notice that these two facets to Aziraphale's existence are, of course, mutually exclusive; a benevolent God would never have caused Crowley to Fall, a 'Good' Crowley would never have disobeyed a benevolent God and Fallen.
But it is absolutely integral to Aziraphale's very self that he believes equally strongly in both of these things. A kind of double-think is required to achieve this: the tenuous idea that a perfect, omnipotent God made a mistake in allowing Crowley to Fall. Or, in the passive voice as Aziraphale would no doubt phrase it (when he doesn't avoid thinking too hard about the matter altogether): A Mistake Was Made.
A mistake was made, somehow, by a God that is simultaneously incapable of error. Obviously, Crowley never should have Fallen. There was some sort of oversight or administerial miscalculation. This is how his two fundamental beliefs remain in delicate balance, neither disproving the other (mostly because he does a whole lot of Not Thinking About It Too Hard).
To doubt either side would be to absolutely shatter him.
This is my explanation for the final fifteen (and a prediction for S3).
He asks Crowley to come with him to Heaven and become an angel again because he thinks it's perfectly obvious that he never should have Fallen in the first place; reinstatement as an angel (from Aziraphale's point of view) is not a fundamental change in Crowley's nature, but merely the righting of a cosmic wrong, a return to what should be the status quo. He doesn't even see that he's asking Crowley to change anything at all other than perhaps the colour of his robe, because to him, Crowley is already an essentially Good creature ("at heart, just a little bit, a good person").
When he says "We can be together. Angels! Doing good!" - it's because he understands this is basically what they've been openly doing together this whole time, at least since the birth of the Antichrist. To his perspective, nothing changes at all except for the label on the tin.
... The tragedy is that he's wrong, of course. Not about Crowley being Good, but about God.
And Crowley knows this - it's why the line "I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do" is so gentle but so devastating. The audience, not being a victim of Aziraphale's desperately white-knuckled grip on his own double-think, understands just as Crowley does.
(The only thing I think that Crowley doesn't understand - and fair enough - is where his Angel is really coming from here. Hence the heartbreak.)
My season 3 prediction: The delicate balance of The Two Tenets Of Aziraphale will finally be broken beyond any hope of recovery. Aziraphale's self will shatter. He will have to choose.
And I think when it comes down to it, we all know where his faith truly lies.
Watching him realise that is going to be just delicious.
This is kind of a big mess but its been in my drafts for weeks and i dont wanna edit it:
If "Do it again" is in fact what Aziraphale was thinking, that means "I forgive you" has a new context and heres what I think it means:
Aziraphale knows if they kissed again, he would stay. He would leave this opportunity to make heaven what he believes it could be. For their precious earth and for "Us".
Honestly i could argue that Aziraphale wants Crowley so desperately in that moment, that he believes only demonic temptation could make him want like that. In his traumatized brain-washes point of view, Crowley was tempting him from Heaven. One of Aziraphale's biggest fears. Surely, Crowley knows how much of a soft spot Aziraphale has for him and he's using it against him. He should know how important this is to Aziraphale.
Crowley has finally made the move Aziraphale has pined for for centuries, and the center of that kiss is Crowley desperately pleading with Aziraphale to stay. Not the shining dazzling lovesick confession he's always dreamed of. In a way, it is a temptation.
From Aziraphale's perspective, he's trying to do this for Crowley and Crowley is trying to tempt him? Telling him to stay? How could Crowley do this to him- make him crave something so achingly. Now of all times. This is important to Aziraphale- It is for the earth they both cherish so deeply, It is for Crowley, it is for "Us". Yes, he is yearning unlike ever before for more but he can't pass up this opportunity.
Aziraphale believes Crowley was tempting him. That "i forgive you" was so vicious sounding because it says "How dare you finally make your move now, when i have been handed the opportunity of a lifetime. How dare you use my softness for you to get me to stay- to turn down my chance to make this world better for us. I am helpless when it comes to you- how dare you tempt me with that."
I have a feeling that beneath the little halo on your noble head
There lies a thought or two the devil might be interested to know
You're like the finish of a novel that I'll finally have to take to bed
You fascinate me so
During this season, it's pretty clear that Aziraphale and Crowley both adore each other and humanity and want very much to be together. It's also pretty clear that, even before Heaven came and made Aziraphale an offer he probably couldn't refuse, he and Crowley weren't quite on the same page regarding...well, just what they are.
What the heck? How can their feelings be so mutual and so out of sync?
Well, I always said Aziraphale was the collectivist and Crowley was the individualist, and Season 2 has only made me more certain of it. They sound like such boring and dry concepts, but they get to the heart of even their most extreme issues - for example, Aziraphale's denial about Heaven as a dangerous place originates with his incredibly deep-seated need to believe in and belong to a collective.
At his worst, Aziraphale can subsume Crowley - jumping so enthusiastically on the "our car" bandwagon that he changed a bunch of things about the Bentley is an excellent example of how he was basically ready to assimilate Crowley into his own identity. And, of course, had he actually brought Crowley back to Heaven, that, too, would have taken away everything that makes Crowley himself. This is Aziraphale being a "rebound mess," feeling at loose ends because he's lost his sense of belonging with Heaven and wants Crowley to meet all these newly-dangling emotional needs.
But at his best, Aziraphale helps connect Crowley to others and to the world. He's usually the one introducing individual humans to Crowley. He gives Crowley excuses to be helpful, both to him and to others. He tries to pull Crowley into fun, more pleasurable human activities, like eating oysters at Petronius's and watching Shakespeare plays, when Crowley is having trouble seeing anything but work. At the end of both seasons, Aziraphale has been the one who insisted on actively pushing for a greater cause.
Of course Aziraphale was drawn back into Heaven. Whether you're considering his weakest points, like his need for approval from anyone he believes has authority, or his strongest, like his genuine wish for things to be Better For Everyone, he leans into collectives.
At his worst, Crowley can isolate Aziraphale. Aziraphale is sort of Crowley's one major interpersonal commitment, and while Aziraphale enjoys this, it does create a lopsided situation where they're each focused on different things. And Crowley loves humans conceptually, but because he avoids getting attached, he is pretty quick to let his connections go. While influencing Aziraphale away from Heaven is a good thing, Crowley doesn't have another very strong community to influence Aziraphale toward.
But at his best, Crowley has helped Aziraphale develop himself outside of the corrupt institution that has tried so hard to crush every ounce of conscience and individuality out of him. All of the Earthly pleasures that Aziraphale tries to draw Crowley toward are things that Crowley introduced him to in the first place! Crowley's individualism encourages Aziraphale to try things that he's been conditioned not to try, and then Aziraphale's instinct for getting attached to things he enjoys can take over.
Of course Crowley has to think of himself and Aziraphale as an isolated unit. That's a clear-eyed view of what they really are in the world of immortal beings.
Now, I've argued before that Heaven is all about the Collective and Hell is all about hard-scrabble individualism. We have these two Sides, one of which demands its angels give up all individuality and follow the group at all costs, and the other of which demands its demons constantly fight for their own survival with a desperate scarcity of resources.
It's through time on Earth and the things they admire about each other that Crowley and Aziraphale have become different. Aziraphale is thrilled to have discovered himself, someone who exists outside of Heaven, and Crowley is thrilled to connect with others in ways that Hell would never allow. But Aziraphale still has that need to Belong baked in, and Crowley will always need to be his own boss with his own priorities.
Fortunately, there is a "side" that is really very good at creating smaller, more intimate groups within larger societies, fulfilling both needs, and that is Humanity.
The 'Bridget Jones Diary' (a Richard Curtis film) final scene where Bridget leaves her apartment in a panic, in just her underwear, a cardigan and sneakers, whilst it's snowing, to track down Mark, except Crowley is Bridget and Aziraphale is Mark! (Even though apparently Aziraphale is the one who actually canonically owns a diary, and might be more Bridget-coded, I don't know)
After finding him and kissing -
Crowley as Bridget: "Wait a minute ...nice boys don't kiss like that."
Aziraphale as Mark: "Oh yes they fucking do."
He kisses him again and keeps kissing him as he wraps his jacket around the both of them to protect him from the cold.
Background music swells: "Someone like yoooooouuu! Can make it all worthwhile! Someone like you keeps me satisfied, someone exactly like you. Someone exactly like you. Someone exactly like you. The best is yet to come..."
The end...of my sanity 😂
Omg guys...I just realized that 'Bridget Jones Diary', again, by Richard Curtis, is based on 'Pride and Prejudice', obviously by Jane Austen, SOOOOOO that one movie combines both Crowley's and Azira's fictiononal inspirations for how to make people fall in love!!! 🤯
I've been desperately looking for a particular Aziraphale/Crowley GO fic that I read years ago where Aziraphale proposes that they allow themselves to spend just one night together intimately, thinking just one night couldn't hurt. They make passionate love all night until the morning when Aziraphale has to beg Crowley to be the one to stop, because he can't! Then he's like "I didn't know it would be like this! How could I have known?" And Crowley's like "For the record, I knew." But they agreed it would only be one night, so even though both their worlds have just been irrevocably turned upside down, Crowley leaves. SUPER, deliciously fucking angsty!
I've been sifting through hundreds of fics and can't find it! I'm pretty sure it was on AO3.
If anyone knows the name of this fic, or knows someone who might know who they could ask, by some miracle, please leave it in the comments! I will be ETERNALLY grateful! Also, everybody else go and read it too! It's really stayed with me, obviously!
And I NEED it to get through this post-season 2 HELL! 😭
It totally has 'Let's Get Lost' by Beck & Bat For Lashes vibes, if anyone knows that song!
Thank you so much, my fellow children of divorce! 🤗❤️
GUYS! I could be wrong...but I think that this bust in Aziraphale's bookshop is of Antinous! It shows up quite a bit in season 2!
From Wikipedia -
Antinous, also called Antinoös, (/ænˈtɪnoʊʌs/; Greek: Ἀντίνοος; c. 111 – c. 130)[a] was a Greek youth from Bithynia and a favourite and LOVER of the Roman emperor Hadrian.[1][2][3] Following his premature death before his twentieth birthday, Antinous was deified on Hadrian's orders, being worshipped in both the Greek East and Latin West, sometimes as a god (θεός, theós) and sometimes merely as a hero (ἥρως, hḗrōs).[4]
More internet info (www.romeo.com) -
Hadrian’s reaction to the death of his boyfriend was nothing short of absolutely epic. He founded a city close to where the man died and named it Antinopolis in his memory. He decided Antinous could now be worshiped as a god and built temples to his memory across the empire, commissioning up to 2000 statues of his beautiful deceased lover.
Hadrian hired Greek sculptors to recreate the stunning beauty of his departed sweetheart. The statues of Antinous all shared similar characteristics such as a broad swelling chest, a head of Grecian curls and his face always turned down, making them very easy to identify.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 2/2
Fandom: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)
Additional Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotionally Repressed, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Making Out, First Time, upset crowley, Love Letters, Crowley loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aziraphale loves Crowley (Good Omens), he’s just a little oblivious sometimes
Summary:
Aziraphale knew Crowley was desperately in love with him; he heard it straight from the source one incredibly drunken night. He was just the only one who remembered, and was too afraid to do anything about it.
~~~
He stared at him for a long moment, and then suddenly surged forward, grabbing Aziraphale by the coat and shoving him hard against the bookcase. Their noses were centimeters from touching, his breath hot on Aziraphale’s skin. “You knew the whole fucking time?” he repeated, growling. “And never said a God damned thing?”
Not at all the response he expected, Aziraphale only blinked dumbly a few times, hands instinctively grabbing Crowley’s, but not pushing him away. Humiliated? He didn’t understand. All of the anticipation he had before was replaced by ice in his veins. “Yes?” he croaked.
Crowley’s trembling fingers tightened around the lapels of his coat. “How could you?”
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: ½
Fandom: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)
Additional Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotionally Repressed, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Making Out, First Time, upset crowley, Love Letters, Crowley loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aziraphale loves Crowley (Good Omens), he’s just a little oblivious sometimes
Summary:
Aziraphale knew Crowley was desperately in love with him; he heard it straight from the source one incredibly drunken night. He was just the only one who remembered, and was too afraid to do anything about it.
~~~
He stared at him for a long moment, and then suddenly surged forward, grabbing Aziraphale by the coat and shoving him hard against the bookcase. Their noses were centimeters from touching, his breath hot on Aziraphale’s skin. “You knew the whole fucking time?” he repeated, growling. “And never said a God damned thing?”
Not at all the response he expected, Aziraphale only blinked dumbly a few times, hands instinctively grabbing Crowley’s, but not pushing him away. Humiliated? He didn’t understand. All of the anticipation he had before was replaced by ice in his veins. “Yes?” he croaked.
Crowley’s trembling fingers tightened around the lapels of his coat. “How could you?”
Read this! SO GOOD! AAARRGGHH! Can't wait for the next chapter! This fic is giving my little Good Omens whore heart LIFE! And this writer is fantastic in general. She has more Good Omens AND Sherlock fics! Can I get a HALLELUJAH!?
I think this song is PERFECT for Aziraphale and Crowley! I've always loved it, but it popped up in my shuffled music the other day, post the birth of my Good Omens (absolute) obsession, and I was like "OMG! THIS IS SO THEM!" And now I love it even more! LOL
– ¢ means it’s cheesy or cliché (but in a good way)
alright! I divided the rec list into three posts: AU, TOS, and AOS.
AU Spirk Fanfic Rec List
TOS Spirk Fanfic Rec List
AOS Spirk Fanfic Rec List
it might be easier to view the lists in your browser or on a computer, rather than on the app. the app tends to kinda smoosh everything together.
I included tumblrs (that I could find) of writers so that you can easily follow them✨
this took awhile to make, but if it helps people discover some amazing fan fiction, it’s worth it~
hey, don’t forget to leave likes/kudos and comments on fics that you really like!! let the writers know that their efforts are appreciated! they don’t have to publish their fan fiction. it’s a choice. leaving a nice comment about specific things you liked in someone’s fic can really make the writer’s day and encourage/inspire them to write more ;)
