jess

[vegan-anarchist-1312]

[n0na9on]

[phantomthread2017]

this is the funniest and most underrated buzzfeed unsolved moment ever sksjdhhsjs

[kim-jisoo]

[hcseokie]

i deserve to be called baby bc im baby, thank u for coming to my ted talk

[fizzgig]

[glitterhoney2]

[king-cracker]

Me

[anarcho-fitposter-deactivated20]

Heavy is the head that wears the crown

[bromar-deactivated20130912]

*goes to england*

me: excuse me, what time is it?

brit: time wots that m8?

*big ben chimes*

everyone starts to count the bongs on their fingers*

brit: OI IT’S 7 BONG

[jonklassen2]

[anus]

dog and snog

[evilcousin]

My yearly dog and snog post

[rudolph-the-red-knows-rain-dear]

Both look so angsty, 

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

hey not to start talking about twilight before I even get out of bed but

I’m absolutely haunted by the fact that according to the twilight wiki Carlisle was only 23 when he got vampired. that’s nothing. that’s a man only a year older than I am, with 5 fucking teenage children. what the fuck. what the hell. why did smeyer sit down to figure out who should be the wise patriarch of her vampire family and decide on “23 year old dilf”?

[destroyalovesu]

that. that means he would have been six years old when he supposedly had his kids. and no one is forks noticed anything off about that scenario

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

I mean they did very much claim to have adopted all their kids, the Cullens weren’t trying to pass themselves off as biological parents and children

but that’s only one of like 900 questions raised

[threewaysdivided]

To throw Meyers a bone:  My brother and I have been routinely asked about our “university courses” and “job positions” since we were eighth-graders.  (I guess it’s better than my friend, whose less-than-5ft self is constantly getting ID-carded even at 24.)

Maybe book!Carlisle just happens to have an “older” face or bearing.

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

listening to Edward for a century ages you like a motherfucker

[sorry-ipanicked]

[walterwhitemediocrity]

[connyhascontrol]

I’m kinkshaming all of Germany

[lord-brixie]

Is it better or worse if I tell y'all that “Nüsse” means “nuts”

[humming-bird-moth]

Dicke means Fat or Thick

[yeeowch]

this post only gets worse

[dragongirltitties]

super dickman’s thick nuts

[xburn0ut]

Why am I laughing so hard

[ozten-deactivated20171022]

[we-love-short-videos-blog]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[booklovertwilight]

[winestained-dresses]

[loosellps]

[brndnslvra]

this is mad funny lmaooo

[gurl-blunt]

Not with that attitude you can’t

[the-meme-offensive]

[autistic-goblin666]

This guy, he is beautiful

[faggottt]