🌹🥀Jessie Kristen🥀🌹

She/Her “The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.” - Fa Zhou Disney’s Mulan 1998

[jessiekristen]

Okay so, I know I have said this before and it got ignored so I just deleted it because y’all just keep ignoring it. But for the last time, anyone who is sexually explicit, comes into my DM‘s and asked me to be their sugar baby, or anything else that is ridiculously inappropriate. Once again I will report and block you.

It is insane how many of these I keep getting. I dread when Tumblr send a message to my email saying someone new has followed me or someone has sent me a message because I just know it’s one of y’all Nasty dough- heads. I have said this before but I will say it again and it’s going to be for the last time. Do not message me do not follow me. This account is not for you. I am not for you. I ain’t the one. I ain’t playing you message, me follow me, or send me stupid stuff in my DM’s. You will be once more blocked and reported. Nobody wants to see that and nobody wants to be your sugar baby. I will not say it again if you ignore me I’ll just keep on reporting and blocking you. And some of you keep just making new accounts and doing the same crap. I’m not having it.

I will say it one last time leave. me. Alone. Go somewhere else where somebody wants that bull crap. But you’re not gonna find it here. If I could do more the block and report you, I would. 

[jessiekristen]

I think one of the hardest parts of trying to reclaim your joy and whimsy in today’s age is the realization that you kinda can’t. You have to start over, especially if you are just trying to recreate what made you happy before. I have come to realize that as you are recreating the things that made you happy and brought you joy in the past, while some of the things definitely bring back the nostalgia and do provide some joy. You will come to understand fully it was the people and the pace of life in the time that you’re trying to re-create that made those moments so special. When the people and the places are gone, it’s not a wonder you feel so adrift in the world.

[jessiekristen]

Bagginsheild/ Thilbo Tik Tokers! I believe I speak for us all when I say we need an edit with this sound on it. Please and thank you. :) 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

[000l]

[shrewreadings]

like to charge, reblog to cast.

[jessiekristen]

Cheers 🥂

[jessiekristen]

You know those silly thoughts you have sometimes no rhyme or reason to them you just get them.

I was thinking about those fanfiction where Bilbo destroys the ring. I love those by the way. But what I was thinking was how hilarious it would be if Bilbo had a flamethrower. I’m sorry I’ve been cackling over this. But you cannot convince me that he would not be evil laughing when he finds one to be like “oh I need this!” and then proceeds to use it on Shelob and an untold number of orcs as he makes his way through and up Mordor. I can just hear him saying “say hello to my little friend”

Me and my silly thoughts I’m telling you lol

[jessiekristen]

You know, one of the things I love about the consort Bilbo/ Bilbo stays in erabor/ everyone lives nobody dies tropes is how when he marries Thorin somehow ends up with one official husband, 10 unofficial husbands, and 2 adorkable nephews. And this is just so funny to me, especially when we bring in the Mpreg or fem! Bilbo trope because every single one of those doofus’s are falling over themselves and each other over him. I only wish we had more fics like that than we do. It feels like there’s only a handful of them.

[jessiekristen]

Hear me out, a wild thought but what if Outlander but make it Baggenshield/ Thilbo. Thorin as Jamie, Bilbo as Claire, Dwalin as Dougal obvs. I think it would make a really good fanfiction and somebody could have so much fun with it, but I hung up my fanfiction writing hat a long time ago.

[jessiekristen]

This is such a stupid thought, but it amuses me greatly. Do you know what’s really funny and ironic? That the Arkenstone from The Hobbit the way it’s described is not what it looks like lol. Balin describes it as this white gem shining with an inner light. Bruh! That gem is not white! It is every single color of the rainbow and it sparkles and glitters like one of those resin projects girls make where they fill something with water and glitter and confetti like travel mugs. If anything, it looks like the dragon scale from Dragon tales lol. It is not a wonder that Bilbo had such a time trying to find the Arkenstone. I would have struggled too because literally 1 trillion things in that horde could have matched that description. Balin needs to get his eyes checked lol. But it’s just so funny to me that it looks like the dragon scale from Dragon tales considering that they literally have to steal it from a dragon.

I literally see no difference lol.

[jessiekristen]

So, i’ve been thinking about an assignment I had for college last year near Christmas. We were supposed to read Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein: A Modern Day Prometheus and eventually we wrote an essay. I’m gonna be so for real, the essay I really wanted to write and didn’t and I kinda wish I did just to be a little shit was how Jurassic Park makes a better argument on ethics in the field of science versus Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.

So starting off, let me just say this is my own personal opinion. No one has to agree with this. It’s perfectly 100% acceptable If you don’t, this is just how I feel. With that being said, I think the reason that Mary Shelley‘s Frankenstein does not hit as hard in today’s day and age the way it did back in the 1800s when it was first originally written is that in a lot of ways it doesn’t feel as relevant as Jurassic Park does to today’s issues on the topic of ethics. The reason I say this is Jurassic Park did a better job of exploring how when they created these dinosaurs as Ian Malcolm said your scientist were so busy and concerned with asking themselves whether or not that they could that they never stopped to ask themselves whether or not they should.

Throughout the films over the last 30 some years. We have seen this time and time again where the scientist involved just did whatever they wanted to for funzies and then when shit hit the fan they wanted to say “oh but I didn’t know this would happen” or “How was this My fault?” But it is their fault and there is no way that they could not have known that thoes outcomes were a possibility.

The sad thing is we can’t even be mad at the dinosaurs for being dinosaurs either because ultimately they’re just animals. It’s not their fault. They are animals in a time Period They were never meant to live in. In a world, they were never meant to exist in. they cannot be blamed for doing what their survival instincts and nature would have them do. It would be like punishing a dog for being loyal to you and fucking somebody up for trying to hurt you. It is a dogs nature to do that because they are descended of wolves and it is a wolf’s nature to protect you at any and all cost because you are pack and an attack against one of the pack is in an attack against the entire pack.

Throughout these films, we see humans, especially the scientists, and the companies that were involved in creating these dinosaurs and funding them make very selfish and arguably, stupid choices. I do believe that the original owner of Jurassic Park had mostly pure intentions and did want it to be educational, did want the park to be essentially a prehistoric Disneyland. I’m not blaming him for that, but I do feel like if he was going to do that the only dinosaurs that he had any business bringing back if he was gonna bring any of them at all, should’ve only been a few plants and some of the herbivores. While herbivores can be violent most of the time they’re not gonna be half as problematic as the carnivores because they’re less likely to mess with you unless you mess with them. Whereas to the carnivores, no matter how well you take care of them You’re always gonna be prey to them.

I think this would have been a very interesting essay if I had gotten the chance to really sit down, do some more research into it rewatch all these films and reread the books and I think it could’ve been a very interesting argument. But I don’t think my teacher would have taken it very kindly no matter how hot of a take it would’ve been. I feel like it would’ve come off as extremely unhinged almost like conspiracy theorist unhinged lol. But yeah, hot take Jurassic Park makes a better argument on ethics within the field of sciences than Mary Shelley, Frankenstein: a modern Prometheus.

[jessiekristen]

So, this probably sounds super basic but, I think for season two of Percy Jackson and the Olympians on Disney+ The Voice of blackjack The Pegasus should be either Kevin Hart or Eddie Murphy. I would be happy with either. It’s probably not gonna be either of them realistically but if we the fans got to choose, I think a lot of us would be happy with either Kevin Hart or Eddie Murphy.

Btw I don’t own this art, nor did I create them I do not know who the artists were for either of the fan art above. So I can’t tag them to give them the credit. I got them off of Pinterest. So if anyone who interacts with this post knows who they are, please let me know so I can tag them or give them credit in some way.

[jessiekristen]

So, as I feel the spirit of the autumn/ fall season fall upon me, I have been getting into that thanksgiving-Halloween sort of mood. Due to this I got to thinking, you know who’d be ready to start a war after having a MAJOR crash out over the political nature of our country (USA)? Ichabod Crane from FOX networks Sleepy Hollow. This man would feel so affronted, appalled, and mortified by the politics that are taking place right now. I am cracking up just thinking about it. He would be ready to throw hands with EVERYONE in the white house right now lol. Now I kinda wanna read a fanfiction about this. Because I know it has the potential to be a crack fic that is written seriously and would be just gloriously hilarious and unhinged as well as ridiculously political, but in like the best way. I know that our fandom of FOX’s sleepy Hollow is tiny. There are not a lot of us out there, but if one of y’all feel so moved and write a fic like this, please tag me and or DM me a link to it. Thank you very much.

[jessiekristen]

Fanfic Writers, this question is for you. What word document program are we using nowadays? I ask this because I still use Microsoft Word. In my personal opinion it is not as good as it used to be. I would like to try something different. I have tried Google Drive but I did not care for it. I would love to hear about other possibilities. I would like something that I do not have to save my work to OneDrive or anything like that. I prefer to save my work on a flash drive/ thumb drive. I am rather old school lol.

[jessiekristen]

So, to preface this I am sick and I have been in bed just chilling.

I just woke up from dreaming. It was a weird one too, I had dreamt that Benedict Cumberbatch’s Smaug found himself an Indian apothecary while out flying and he was all like “I’m gonna take it over I like what they sell.” Of course I’m thinking “you like opioids?” Well they aren’t an apothecary. They are a candy shop like Honeydukes in the Harry Potter series or those old timey soda shop/ general stores/ pharmacy stores. So, now I just have this picture in my head of Smaug laying on and swimming in a horde of candy of every color of the rainbow Scrooge McDucking it and he has the biggest and silliest grin on his face. I’ll be honest this would make a pretty good crack one shot fanfiction. I guess If anyone writes it tag me please.

[jessiekristen]

You guys know what would be amazing and hilarious? I would love to see a full series of chaptered SeaFam fanfics where it is just Poseidon being a whole Dad and SeaFam Slice of life and Hijinks.

Hear me out. I would love to see Poseidon reading parenting books for all age groups cause you never know, you know. In his mind Percy is essentially a toddler. I want him to start a swear jar. I think it would be so amusing if the swear jar is so full that they cannot put anything else in. I would love to see Poseidon tag-team co-parenting along side Sally, Paul, and Amphitrite. I would love to see him laying down rules such as no caffeine after 5:00pm because it will ruin Percy’s sleep quality and he cares very much about Percy getting a full 8 and a half to 9 hours sleep. I would love to see Poseidon, Amphitrite, and Triton trying to make sure Percy eats healthy balanced meals. I want to see Kym be the fabulous rebellious big sister Percy is both terrified of and greatly adores in equal measure. I think it would be hilarious if she sneaks him or just straight up hands him sweets and other stuff their parents have deemed off-limits. I want to see Kim teach him how to create massive destructive storms and play pranks on triton and even Poseidon. I have this vision in my head of Poseidon wading in balloons up to his neck in his office with Percy and kym giggling like little kids at the door. I would love to see Rhodes and Ben as sisters who are very supportive and always there to tutor or simply hang out. They are usually the ones to share the funny embarrassing stories and taking Percy on adventures or teach him some of their own things like how to control waves effectively and efficiently for example. I would love to see triton switching from dad mode to big brother mode constantly, teaching Percy how to fight with a trident, and Percy teasing him to kingdom come with all the little mermaids. I would love a prank war between all the kids. And Tyson is as he has always been a perfect wonderful cinnamon roll of a Cyclopes.

I like both regular Percy Jackson fics and Fem!Percy fics. I like percebeth ships and perpollo ships as well. If anyone knows of any stories like this tag me please. And if you write anything like this please tag me.

[justangrymacaroni]

knitting tutorial made by a twenty-something knitting influencer: 18 min long, 12 of those minutes being the intro and a sponsor plug, they show the first few steps of the tutorial at the slowest speed known to man, they show the most important steps at a neck-break speed, they stop every five seconds to talk about what they just did, 40,000 comments filled with questions ranging from insightful to “how do i knit”, filmed with a camera that costs more than a car, the tutorial is incorrect.

knitting tutorial made by a seventy-something grandmother: two min long, filmed 17 years ago, shows you what you want with the skilled patient hands of a beloved deity, made with the world’s shittiest camera, the best video on the fucking internet, four comments and 30 views, you lose the video and never find it again.

[justangrymacaroni]

two things i’m noticing in the notes:

1. every artist/crafter/cook agreeing that influencers in their communities also pull shit like this

2. ppl shouting out their fav old lady tutorials and being like “i would die for u diane”

[justangrymacaroni]

everyone in the notes was being super lovely and dropping their fav tutorials/crafters, so i made a list of some of them (sorry if i missed any!):

Joanne’s web (knitting and crochet)

Knitting with Suzanne Bryan (knitting)

EliZZa (German knitting community)

Jane Loures (cooking)

Happy Berry Crochet (crochet)

Sue Ripsch (chainmaille jewelry)

SeaLemonDIY (book binding)

FourKeysBookArts (book binding)

sheilasknittingtipsandtricks

VeryPinkKnits (several recs for this!)

Mick Grewcock (bow making)

Mrs Nadelspiel (knitting)

Winwick Mums Knit n Natter (knitting Facebook group)

Cutsey Crafts (embroidery)

Twinsday (sewing)

Creative Grandma (crochet)

Das Bookbinding (bookbinding)

Yoyomax12 (baking)

Sharon B (doll repainting)

Nimbleneedles (knitting)

Chasing Sunraee (crochet)

Heindselman’s Knit & Chasing Sunraee (crochet)

Heindselman’s Knit & Gifts (America’s oldest knitshop)

Ivor Sorefingers (guitar)

Elly Everyday (overnight sourdough recipe)

K3n Slowstitch (stitching)

Miss Nancy/Nancy Zieman (PBS knitting episodes for free on youtube)

Roxanne Richardson (knitting)

Imamu Room Husbento (bento box making)

Nerdforge (bookbinding)

Jess Huff (amigurumi)

Nerdy Knitting (knitting)

Gayle Francis (crochet)

Bag-o-day Crochet (crochet)

Sewing with Nancy (sewing)

Felts by Philippa (felting)

Sowoolly (knitting)

Nadelspiel (knitting)

Lacefromireland (lace)

Bill Souza (yarn crafts for left handed folks)

and my personal fav that I just had to look up:

Glendalf, who made a tutorial for fixing a prius battery.

[cathartidae]

@basaltbutch

[foxy-tea]

Don't mind if I save a couple of these

[jessiekristen]

Can I just say, The one thing college is good for if nothing else Is how humbled you become when you get an assignment or assignments thinking “oh I know this! this will take me what? 30 minutes or an hour max!.” lol R. I. P. Yeah it’s been 5 hours since I started these assignments I’m still on the first one.

[jessiekristen]

Do you know what would be interesting? A Lucifer fanfic where the characters react to the entire show. Maybe even throw in a bit of a time travel fix it trope. it could probably start up around oh say early mid season two I just think it’ll be really interesting to have all of heaven‘s host, select members of the demonic legions of hell, and the entire police, precinct and friends and family of the characters all having too sit there in theater watch the show and get along with each other.