Wide Awake

Jessica/18/Missouri/ Everybody thinks I’m crazy. The say “You take the Jesus thing too seriously” Well, I don’t know but, Christ took me pretty seriously when He died for me on the Cross.

[jessrae3]

Clarity in a Confusing World

Wow it has been one year since I have wrote something. I hope to change that but I cannot make any promises with a busy life ahead of me starting Friday. I am wide awake and I feel its because something was laid on my heart and this is a way I tend to let it out and make sense of what is all mumbled jumbled in my head.  For I know the plans I have for you,declares the Lord, plans for peace and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 I was just laying here thinking about my life in the past month, year, 5 years. Wow has a lot changed. Within the past couple of months I have even started a new journey in my life that has drastically changed me in a positive way. I'm pretty much in the real world,on my own at this point.  However something I have struggled with for years is still a struggle. Its the thought of "where do I go from here." Now to some that could be something little or for someone like me its something huge. Where do I go from here:

College

Career 

Job

City

State

Heck I don't even know what I am doing from day to day. That's about to end, tomorrow to be exact. Fun time is over, welcome to adulthood again. But no matter how much I have thought and prayed about it I have seem to almost "give up" and just say "God's got this". Well that's just the thing... He does have this. But how do I expect Him to help me when I am not even trying myself. I have literally "gave it up to Him" instead of "giving it all to Him." The difference I have gave up on trying to figure things out even praying about it. I just have the attitude of oh God's going to take care of it and I am good to go. Instead of consistently searching and praying and letting Him be in control of my decisions. 

  Now realizing this I have had something else pointed out to me. In order for my life to have clarity, I need to have a clear relationship with Him. Not a some days are better than others. Although that is true, it should never be that way with your relationship with Him. I finally see how I have been missing the "here's your sign" points in my life. This just motivates me to have an even stronger relationship with Him. Which I truly am working on and I can tell what I am doing it working because Satan is attacking full force and I am letting him win at this point and time. I know these huge mountains I am looking at, are in reality just small bumps that are going to take effort to get over. I have made a challenge for myself that has to do with me working on my relationship, I do not want to share it at this point just in case I fail. I do not want the disappointment that Satan would love to take over and throw in my face. But maybe this time next year when I write my next blog(Hopefully kidding)I can share what I did. 

  I feel like the main purpose of this blog was for motivation of others. No matter where you stand with your walk in Christ, there is always going to be room for improvement. He wants all of you, all the time. If you are struggling with a decision right now give it all to him but do not give up on it. I do not know who will read this if anyone but I hope this was a positive read to your day and may God bless! Jesus love you and so do I! :)

[bry4ntsg1rl]

[jessrae3]

I love the infinity symbol! I want it as a tattoo as a engagement ring and I want this necklace!

[jessrae3]

Trust

I will admit I tend to trust people too easily. I'm one to trust you till you do something to not make me trust you. But today finding something that belongs to me in your possession hurt. It was something I asked for and went out of my way to get and you just took it alway. This type of thing makes me question "What else have you taken from me" Makes me wonder what else you have done to the unnoticeable innocent me. I do not like to be taken advantage of. Not do I like go be manipulated, talked behind my back about, or lied to. But now that I have lost your trust its going to make me think you are doing these things.

[capt-ure]

[spiritualinspiration2]

[walkthesame]

Have a Prayer Request.... then Post them here...

Post Your Prayer Requests Here….. Don’t forget to Reblog and Share

[jessrae3]

No Excuses, Just Patience

I pray before I write this that I don't lose the motivation I have now that I am exposing what's been happening in my life.

With that being said, tonight I tried something different. I texted some of my readers for topics. I loved each and every one of the topics and I am making a promise at this moment that I will write on each one of them eventually. I thank you all who contributed to that. But while I was waiting on replies I thought about what I wanted to write about and its what has been happening here recently.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. for we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."

Ephesians 2:8-10 

First, I need to take you back to teen week at church camp. I had one of those moments where God just would not stop talking to me through a service. I remember walking in the tabernacle, seeing my best friend Emily and sitting down next to her. I swear the moment my butt hit the seat God spoke to me and told me "Jessica, you said you were done playing games, You need to go lay it down now at the alter." I was like really God? Right now at this very moment? I'll look silly, service hasn't even started." Well lesson to be learned right here LISTEN WHEN HE SPEAKS. That whole entire service I couldn't sit still or pay attention. The devil even tempted me more by saying "You're sick" "Look over here, see that kid that stole your soda last night look at what he's doing" I finally couldn't take it anymore. Emily looked over at me asked me if I was okay and grabbed my hand. I am not even sure I could answer her. I can't even tell you what the service was about. But then when the speaker was giving an invitation the devil  tried again letting me try to make an excuse, "But your mentor isn't even in here" It was like the illustration you see with God on one shoulder and the Devil on the other fighting. I really felt that happening. Finally I heard a voice say GO NOW! I was like "alright!" As I was walking to the alter I was just thinking in my head, I can't get out what needs to get out by myself I just know it. Who is going to pray with me..EXCUSE AND DEVIL FIGHTING number 2. But I was just thinking to myself you are already half way there just keep walking then a name popped in my head..Jane... I was like what? I don't even know where she is God. At the moment I saw her and she was already walking toward me. (How awesome is that?) We went to the alter prayed together and I truly felt a new me. But as always you leave camp and you tend to just sink lower and lower. That is exactly what happened. I was slowly losing that fire that was burning so brightly. I experienced so much during the summer I just didn't understand. I even questioned God asking why in the world this was happening if he knew I needed to start my life on a new track why would He allow it. The simple answer to that question is it was't Him. It was my own self letting myself fade and slip like I have allowed myself to do year after year.

One thing I was doing wrong is waiting for the time that God would just pop in my life and bam I would be renewed. Well guess what...if that is what you are waiting on stop it right now. That is not how it works. YOU yourself have to make an effort. God has given you a gift you just have to accept it. You can't just sit around waiting on Him to do all the work for you.

Now this brings me to my main point of the blog. I don't remember how it all started but I felt like this was my moment of I finally got it. I finally realized it was me that had to reach out and accept the gift God has been trying to give me all along from the moment I was saved. His Son! Maybe it did take a death of a friend, a sermon that I thought was for someone else, a talk I had with an adult, watching others. But I think I am finally there. Now I know I am going to have those bad days. I know the devil is going to be right up there fighting against God on my shoulder everyday but I feel like its time to knock him off and just live my life the way I know how. The first step I started the 365 day reading challenge on my handy dandy Iphone. I failed it last year but I am determined to keep going. 2nd step: Spending time in prayer. Trust me it is not that hard. Get off your phone/computer. Go to a quiet room by yourself for an hour a day. Or do it before you go to bed. 3rd thing: Let others know. Its true you can't run this race by yourself. There are so many supporters you can have that can give you the motivation you need when you need it. And I am so thankful to have a handful of people like that in my life. Letting others know will help keep you accountable and to help you not fail at your commitment. The supporter in me wants to end this by saying good luck if you try this and I am ALWAYS here to be a supporter and for the rest of you thanks for reading! :)

Note: This is not to glorify me at all. This is not about me. It is about God and what he is doing in my life. Thank you to all my supporters I really appreciate it. To God be the glory!-Jessica Deason

[jessrae3]

Be strong in the Lord and, Never give up hope, You're going to do great things, I already know, God's got His hand on you so, Don't live life in fear, Forgive and forget, But don't forget why you're here, Take your time and pray, These are the words I would say

My new theme song for my life this year. Such encouragement! 

[jessrae3]

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6 ESV) Just the verse I need for the kind if day I'm having.

[writerswritecompany]

[jessrae3]

For who is God except the LORD? Who but our God is a solid rock? 2 Samuel 22:32

[unlikelypreacher-blog]

Luke 19:10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.

[jessrae3]

Exactly what my first blog post on here was about!

[americanbeautiful0129-blog]

[jessrae3]

This breaks my heart!

[jessrae3]

It's Him, who I put my trust in.

[jessrae3]

"This ice cream taste weird. I gotta chop the top off I like the cone." - Lauren

[hewhopromised]

Passion is awesome! You can be a part of this incredible movement by watching the live stream HERE! (Click Watch live session)

[codyaneal-blog]

This is where I’m at right now.  It’s be an amazing week.  We still have tonight and tomorrow to go.  God’s presence has been with us all in that dome, and he has revealed a lot to me.  All of the glory to Him!  

[jessrae3]

Oh how I wished I could have been a part of this!

[jessrae3]

Too Much Judging Not Enough Loving

I seem to like to rant. Which I guess can be a good thing. As you read this you might think this girl is so lost. And guess what that is okay because I am..I’m a lost Christian girl looking for answers. The thing is, I’m learning. I almost feel like a new Christian all over again. I might have been saved 5 years ago but up until here recently I haven’t been very ” spiritually mature”. Over the past couple of months I have had different blog idea’s in mind. I just sometimes don’t know where to begin with one. Maybe my next one will be the one I have been thinking about for, forever. Every Knee Will Bow. But this very blog I am typing now is not called that now is it? Nopeee.. Its called Too Much Judging Not Enough Loving and that folks sums up my opinion of what I am about to write. If you have ever heard the song My Jesus by Todd Agnew you will probably know exactly where I am coming from. (If you haven’t go now..listen to it) So you don’t have to really listen to it especially since some people will dislike it since it has one word in it that starts with an” S’. If you haven’t listened to it now you are going to, to find out what that “S” word is. Or if you have listened to it you are about to listen to it again to find the word. I’ll give you a few minutes………. OKAY! Here is my point I’ve been chasing rabbits to get to. The message of the song is to be like Jesus, but how can we when we are so caught up with ourselves. Believe it or not the bible does talk about how Jesus hung out with harlots and people that were the “unmentionables” In Luke 7:36-50, it tells the story of a woman who is a sinner and when Jesus walks into the house where she is she begins washing his feet and anointing them with oil. Simon spoke out saying ”This man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”in verse 44 Jesus speaks and says “Do you see this woman? I entered your house: you gave me no water for my feet, but  she has washed my feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. There verse goes on with Jesus pointing out all the woman has done and what Simon the one who invited Jesus there hasn’t done. In verse 47 Jesus goes on to say “Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”  Hey guess what? The really is a story from the bible..look it up sometime if you don’t believe me. This is a prime example of how Christians should be. Christian’s or just people in general are too caught up in caring what other people think. Yes your image should matter but not so greatly that it affects who you are. As you can see from the bible trying to be “perfect” does not get rewarded. So this brings me to real life examples. My question is if you are one that believes Christian’s should not hang out with other non Christians or shouldn’t be around others who are not Christian’s, how do you expect to ever witness to those that are not Christians? Do I got a point? I never said hang out with them every minute of the day. I’m talking about going out to lunch with that girl that is a “skank” Oh wait..that will look bad on me and people will talk bad about me and will think I am also a “skank” who acts like that girl first that’s wrong and second that is wrong of those people because they are..guess what? JUDGING! Last time I checked that is now how it works. To be a friend and to show the love of Christ is a great way to witness to someone. Not going around judging people and just telling them they need Jesus. How will that help them? You know why I won’t delete certain people from my facebook page? Because no matter how much they cuss or say dirty things on facebook and how much it irritates me. I know that they are reading my post and seeing Christ through me. Ever heard the saying “You might be the only Bible someone ever reads?” I truly believe that and think facebook if you use it right can be a great ministering tool So how about we quit worrying about being “perfect Christians” (THAT DOES NOT EXIST) and stop worrying about our images (THAT DONESN’T REALLY MATTER) and become friends with those people that are not like us that need Christ.  Another part in that song is “My Jesus would never be accepted at my church the blood on his hands might stain the carpet.” and another part “If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at his holy feet?” It’s true people. Too much judging and not enough loving