hii hope you're doing well! i was wondering if you could do a luffy x fem reader where she's insecure about her curvy body? luffy notices that she doesn't eat as much as she used to and helped her feel better. love how you write!
Thank you for the request! I apologize for the delay but school and work has been insane so the process of going through request has been slow. I had to write this one because I relate to it so deeply! Enjoy!!
You can submit your request here
Mirrors: Luffy x Curvy!F!Reader
Luffy is at your side after an accident during training. What he wasn’t expecting was to find out you’ve been skipping meals.
Rating: fluff with a little angst.
Warning: possible ooc, possible grammar mistakes, mentions of marine ford and Sabaody, mentions of lack of eating, self doubt, and fainting. Please read at your own risk.
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It felt like the plate had eyes, staring right at you.
The food sat there untouched, still warm, the steam lifting in thin threads that curled and vanished into the air. The rice was fluffed just right, vegetables cut with care. A piece of beef seasoned exactly the way you liked it. Sanji had made it for you before leaving with the others, setting it down with that familiar smile and a reminder to eat while you watched the ship. Lunch, that’s all it was.
It should have been simple, but for you, food gave you a thousand thoughts. It was daunting and ruthless, mocking you at every meal. Your fork nudged the edge of the plate, once. Then again but with more aggression, your brows furrowed as you tossed the food around. You rearranged things you had no intention of eating, pushing grains together, separating them in a way that felt childish. Eventually, your hands dropped to your lap, your body leaning back in your chair.
Everyone else was gone, your favorite rubber boy included, scattered across an island the Sunny was docked at like bright birds set loose. An unknown place in the New World, strange and tempting, calling them away from the ship. You had volunteered to stay behind since someone had to watch the ship. It was easier to say ‘yes’ to be alone when the alternative was sitting down to eat with everyone. The galley was quiet. There was no laughter, no clatter of plates, no Luffy shoveling food into his mouth like he was racing time itself. Just you and the plate and the thoughts you couldn’t outrun.
A sigh slipped from your lips as you stood abruptly, the chair scraping softly against the floor. The decision felt sudden, even to you, but it had been building for weeks. You lifted the plate, hands steady in a way that surprised you, and crossed to the trash bin. You tipped the food in, listening to it land with a dull sound that made your stomach twist. Then, as if ashamed of the evidence, you layered other trash on top. Paper. Peels. Anything to hide it because you knew better. You knew wasting food was wrong. Sanji would be furious if he ever found out. You could already hear his voice, sharp with disbelief, wounded beneath the anger. Food meant survival out on the sea, it meant care and love when it came to him. But you couldn’t do it anymore. Guilt pressed against your ribs in a hot and insistent twist.
Out of sight. Out of mind.
You closed the lid and leaned against the counter, your arms folded tightly over the middle of your stomach. Without thinking, your hands pinched the skin on your stomach, tears burning your eyes.
The softness of the folds on your belly bothered you. The way it seeped in with each touch, it made your skin crawl. You couldn’t help it since you naturally were curvy and for the longest time, it was something you accepted. However, for some reason, you recently found yourself wanting to rip it right off. Your eyes betrayed you every time Nami or Robin walked past you, their effortless and confident faces, their body’s toned and sculpted. Whereas yours was a more rounded figure.
They wore low-rise jeans like they were made for them, fabric sitting easy on hips you envied without wanting to. Robin favored backless tops occasionally, skin smooth and untroubled, while you couldn’t imagine exposing your own back without feeling absolutely anxious about it. The thought of others seeing the rolls you tried so hard to hide embarrassed you.
It was odd, really, since no one on board ever made you feel this way. Not once. The girls complimented and supported you, especially when you would go shopping with them. There were times where Nami would help you find clothes that highlighted the parts of you she thought were flattering, especially with your plump figure, but you often left markets without anything. These thoughts, the ones that made you feel ashamed of your own body, weren't something planted by careless words or cruel looks. It grew quietly, entirely on its own, fed by mirrors and passing thoughts. It got worse when your body refused to change no matter how hard you trained. Everyone else around you changed physically in the last two year, whereas you felt like you stayed the same. It was as if you froze in time.
Your belly was always there. Soft and noticeable. A gentle curve that never flattened the way you wanted it to.
But Luffy called your extra curves cute constantly, it was known to you how much he loved it. His hands were always warm, squeezing you without shame whenever he could. It showed in the way he gravitated toward you without thinking, like the space beside you was the most natural place for him to exist. When the crew gathered together, when laughter filled the kitchen and voices overlapped, his arms always found you. The times when he would approach from behind, his chin found the softness on your shoulder. Sometimes, he would linger from the side, his body pressing into yours as if to absorb all of your warmth. Other times, he would simply hook an arm around your waist and stay there, unbothered by anything else happening around him.
No one questioned your relationship with Luffy, since it made sense. The two of you fit together in a way that felt inevitable, like pieces of a puzzle that had never belonged anywhere else. When he hugged you, your body molded easily to his, soft where he was solid, steady where he was restless. You grounded him, always putting him in his place, whereas he energized you and gave you the courage to move forward in life. It was right. Moreso, the two of you had an undeniable natural chemistry.
When you were alone with him it became even clearer. Luffy loved to sprawl across you whenever he got the chance, stretching out like a cat that had claimed its favorite place to nap. His favorite place he would rest his head on your breast or stomach, arms wrapped loosely around the middle of your body, completely content. He talked in those moments, words tumbling out without filters or hesitation.
“You’re really comfy, Y/N…” he’d say, voice pleased, fingers tracing idle shapes into your side. His face would become so relaxed, his body would instinctively bury itself in your between your breast.
“You smell good…so good…” More often than not, his voice would trail off mid-sentence, breath evening out as sleep claimed him. You would lie there beneath him, feeling his heartbeat against your own body with flushed cheeks. The gentle rise and fall of his weight, trapped in that quiet, golden stillness reminded you of the security you had with Luffy. Sometimes you would fall asleep too or other times, you just stayed awake, memorizing the feeling of being wanted without conditions. He had a habit of biting you, playful ones that made your cheeks hot, just to see you squirm. He loved to mess with you that way.
But when the time came to it, he protected you the same way he loved you: Without hesitation or fear. In dangerous situations, he always placed himself between you and whatever threatened the crew. A hand on your shoulder to keep you close. A sharp glance that promised anyone watching that you were not to be touched. You never doubted your safety when Luffy was near. He made sure of it.
That’s why this hurt the most because even though you trusted him, even though deep down you knew you could tell him anything, you never understood why you couldn’t let him in on these thoughts. The thoughts that made you feel ugly and worthless, less than the woman you wanted to be. Luffy made you feel secure all the time but for some reason, you didn’t believe that your beauty was truly present.
Maybe it was because you feared it would sound silly to him, hearing you complain about your body. You didn’t want to put the burden of how your thoughts curled inward when he squeezed your waist without thinking. You didn’t want to have to explain how your stomach clenched when he called you soft, when he praised the very parts of you that you were trying to erase. There was a fear that if you said it out loud, it would sound foolish. Shallow. Unworthy of a pirate’s life. Not strong enough.
So you smiled. You laughed. You leaned into him and let him hold you while you quietly waged war with your own reflection. Because although it was truly enduring, your own thoughts made it hard to accept that someone like Luffy would truly be into you.
Your days began to blur together after that.
Hours spent training alone became the backbone of your routine. You pushed yourself past soreness, past fatigue, past the quiet voice that told you to stop. The floor in the gym quarters burned beneath your palms as you dropped into planks. Your legs shook as you ran laps around the ship. Sweat soaked through your clothes until they clung to you like a shadow that was heavy and uncomfortable. Your hunger was constant but you learned to silence it. You took it as a sign that you were doing something right. It meant progress was on its way, that you were in control. When the crew returned from islands laden with stories and souvenirs, you greeted them with smiles and tired eyes. When Sanji asked if you wanted something to eat, you waved it off with a practiced excuse. Sometimes you said you were too tired to eat, other times you blamed sudden sea sickness. Other times, you simply would tell him you weren’t hungry and that you would eat later.
You trained until the sun dipped low, until the sky turned bruised with color and your muscles trembled with exhaustion. You trained until your thoughts quieted, until the mirrors and comparisons fell silent for just a moment. At night, when Luffy wrapped himself around you, when he murmured soft, thoughtless compliments and pressed kisses into your hair, you held him close and tried not to flinch. You tried not to think about how his hands felt heavier lately, how your body felt weaker from how much you pushed yourself. You felt that you needed to put more effort into pretending everything was fine.
You told yourself you were doing this for strength. In the end, it would be worth it, or so you thought. And all the while, the one man who loved you the most would lay against you, trusting, unaware, holding you together even as you quietly pulled yourself apart. You didn’t remember when the thoughts had started exactly. There wasn’t a clear beginning. No single moment you could point to and say, this is when it went wrong. They had crept in slowly, settling between breaths, between meals, between glances in the bathroom mirror. Once they took hold, they made it hard to focus on anything else.
Even sleep wasn’t safe from your intrusive thoughts. You would lay awake at night staring at the ceiling, counting hours you could have spent training instead. When you did sleep, it was shallow, restless, filled with the sense that you were wasting time. That your body was falling behind. That you weren’t doing enough.
So, you started to work out without any food, none at all other than water.
At first, it was small. Extra reps. Longer sessions. Then it became mornings before sunrise, slipping out while the ship still slept. Then nights too, when the world was quiet and no one could see you. You trained alone, sweat slicking your skin. Your muscles would scream in agony and your lungs ached with a vengeance. Hunger gnawed at you, sharp and insistent, but you continued to ignore it. You told yourself it was discipline.
Meals became obstacles that you had to avoid. You skipped them carefully, politely. Excuses lined up like shields. You picked at food when you couldn’t avoid it, enough to look normal but not enough to satisfy anything. One morning at breakfast was where the cracks began to show.
You sat with your plate, fork tracing slow, meaningless paths through eggs gone cold. Nami yawned across from you, stretching. “You know,” she said casually, “you woke me up last night.”
“I did?” You looked up, your heart shuttered in your chest.
“Yeah. You were sneaking out. Thought someone was stealing something.”
Robin glanced over her cup, eyes curious but kind.
“Sorry. I just… work out better at night. It helps me sleep,” You shrugged, forcing a laugh. It wasn’t a lie, not entirely. It was also a convenient one. Of course, they accepted it. No interrogation at all, just a causal slip.
Beside you, Luffy leaned in, arm already draped around your shoulders like it belonged there. He always clung to you during meals, half-listening to conversations while eating, needing the physical connection in the same way he needed air. In his usual routine way, his hand wandered, squeezing your thigh, then the side of your stomach, completely absentminded. Affectionate and thoughtless.
Your body went tight. Every squeeze felt like a spotlight. Every casual touch reminded you of everything you were trying to erase. You smiled anyway. You always did because Luffy loved you so openly, simply, and that made the shame worse, not better. The thoughts twisted into motivation. If you hated how it felt, then you just had to change it.
Train harder. Eat less. Push more.
So you did and slowly, skipping meals stopped feeling like a choice at all. However, your secret spilled out one afternoon.
The wood beneath your feet bore the marks of lessons learned, and standing there with the others usually filled you with something close to pride. You liked training with the rest of the crew. Not because it was easy but because it reminded you that you belonged. That you were capable because you constantly held your own. You gave yourself that much credit at least.
You tugged at the hem of your loose shirt, fabric clinging where sweat had gathered, then falling away again. Nami stood nearby with her staff, hair tied back, confidence that radiated off of her effortlessly. Robin leaned against the railing with her calm smile, sleeves rolled, eyes observant. The boys were shirtless as usual, sun painting their skin gold. You tried not to look at the difference between them and you, tried not to think about how time had sharpened everyone else while you felt unchanged, again.
The whole afternoon though, your body felt like it was betraying you.
You went through the motions with Zoro first, blades flashing as you dodged and countered, muscles responding a half second slower than they should have. Each movement pulled something sharp from deep inside you, like you were scraping the bottom of a well that had already run dry. Sweat bloomed almost immediately, dampening your clothes, sticking them to your skin in a way that made you acutely aware of yourself. You told yourself it was nothing. Everyone had off days, right?
Nami stepped in next, precise and efficient. You blocked, stumbled, and eventually, recovered. Chopper watched closely, concern flickered behind his usual excitement, but he said nothing. Zoro scoffed when you missed an opening you usually wouldn’t.
“Your footwork’s sloppy,” he said, not unkindly. Just honest.
You laughed it off, your breath already coming too fast. “Guess I didn’t warm up enough.”
They accepted it easily like they always did. No one questioned you. No one pressed. To them, it was just an off day, the kind that came and went like unpredictable weather. Luffy, however, didn’t laugh. He stood off to the side at first, arms folded behind his head, as his eyes followed you in a way that made your skin prickle. His gaze wasn’t casual. It lingered, it tracked you as you moved. Not the way he watched fights with excitement, but the way he watched you when something felt wrong and he didn’t yet know why.
He saw the way your fingers trembled when you would reset your stance, subtle but there. He saw how your shoulders sagged for just a moment before you forced them back. He saw your eyes lose focus between exchanges, your gaze dipping to the deck like you were trying to anchor yourself to something solid. Luffy noticed things about you before anyone else ever did. By the time you turned to him, your chest burned, lungs working overtime to pull in air that didn’t feel like enough. You wiped sweat from your brow, hand shaking slightly as you curled your fingers into a fist.
“Your turn,” you said, pointing at him. Your voice sounded steady enough, even to your own ears. “Let’s spar.”
He tilted his head, studying you openly now. “You sure?” he asked. He wasn’t teasing nor was he excited. His large eyes watched you as if he was just trying to be careful.
Something twisted in your chest at that. You straightened instinctively, pride flaring hot and defensive. “Yeah,” you said, sharper than you meant to. “Don’t hold back.”
His eyes searched your face again, as if looking for permission you hadn’t given him yet. There was the faintest hesitation in him, a pause so small most people would’ve missed it. Then he nodded.
You squared off, feet planting against the wood on the deck. The familiar rhythm carried you for a while, muscle memory stepping in where strength faltered. You circled each other, feet scuffing the deck, the others watching with half-lidded attention. You blocked his first move, then his second, the rhythm familiar as a shared joke. Sweat slid down your spine. Your lungs worked harder than they should have.You darted forward, landed a jab against his shoulder, another grazing his side. A flicker of triumph sparked through you, fragile and fleeting.
“Nice!” Luffy laughed, bright and proud. He countered, gentle but fast, movements fluid and unpredictable. You dodged and stumbled, but you were able to stay on your feet. He caught your wrist, momentum shifting, and flipped you cleanly over his hip. With a swift movement you landed against the deck on your back, but softly. Luffy always made sure you never fell too hard.
You laid there for half a second longer than usual, staring up at the sky as it swam slightly out of focus. The blue seemed too bright and the clouds seemed to have faded away. It was as if the world was spinning, as if you were drunk. Your heart began to pound against your ribs so loudly that you heard it in your ears. You needed water, fast
You pushed yourself up. That was when your body finally gave up the lie. Your legs wavered beneath you, knees trembling like they no longer remembered how to hold your weight. A wave of heat crashed through you, in a sudden and overwhelming wave. A hollowed dizziness consumed you and made the world tilt sideways. Sweat poured down your temples, your vision narrowing at the edges as if someone were slowly closing curtains around your sight.
“Hey, You okay?” Luffy said immediately, his body stepping closer to you. He hated the way your skin went pale, your body lugging slowly. Something was clearly wrong.
“I’m-” Your words tangled on your tongue, thick and slow, unfamiliar. You swallowed, trying again. “I’m fine.”
The deck lurched and your balance slipped away from you like something you’d dropped. You tried to steady yourself, muscles screaming in protest, but there was nothing left to give. Your knees buckled but your body didn’t hit the ground. Luffy was there in an instant, faster than a single thought, arms wrapping around you and pulling you against him. Your body collapsed into his chest, face pressing into the familiar warmth and solidity of him. The world dimmed, your limbs going heavy and unresponsive, strength draining out of you all at once.
“H-hey! Hey, Y/N!” His voice cracked with sudden fear that was sharp and unguarded. You sagged against him, the deck gone from beneath your feet. His hands felt like they were everywhere and nowhere all at once, steadying you, cradling you as if you were something precious and breakable. You felt him lower himself on the ground with you, careful even in that moment, one arm braced securely at your back, the other cradling your head. His chest rose and fell rapidly beneath your cheek, his heartbeat loud and frantic in your ear. Faces began to swim into focus: Nami’s glancing at you with heavy concern, Chopper already looking over you quickly. Luffy held you closer as he shifted his body, one arm firm around your back, the other pressed to your waist. His palm rested there without thought, fingers curved into the softness he loved so openly. Even now, even frightened, his touch was instinctive, anchoring.
“You gotta keep your eyes open…come on, Y/N. Stay awake!” Luffy called out, urgency filling his tone. One of his hands began to cup your face, trying to help you focus on something. Your throat tightened as embarrassment flared within your chest that practically ate you alive. This was what you had feared. Being seen as weak. You wanted to answer. You wanted to tell him you were sorry, that you hadn’t meant for this to happen, that you just wanted to be better. Stronger. Smaller.
But your body refused. Chopper’s voice sounded distant, calling your name. Zoro swore softly as he glanced down at you. All of it felt far away, muffled by the way Luffy held you like he was afraid you might slip through his fingers. His forehead pressed against your hair, his grip tightening as if sheer will could keep you awake. He smelled like rubber and sweat, and in that moment, you felt the weight of how much he loved you settle heavily around your heart.
The last thing you were aware of was the way he never let go.
Not for a second. Not even as your vision went dark and your body went completely limp in his arms.
The medical wing door slid shut with a soft finality that felt louder than it should have. As you laid inside, your body trying to catch up on rest and recovery, your breathing was shallow and even under Chopper’s careful watch. You were unaware of the way the world outside had shifted its weight around your collapse. The ship creaked gently, the Thousand Sunny rocking as if she, too, was unsettled.
Luffy stood just beyond the door, his own legs refusing to sit still. He paced, back and forth, his sandals against polished wood. He would turn and stop. Then he would turn again. His hands curled and uncurled at his sides, stretching his fingers like he might snap them if he didn’t keep them busy. His hat was pushed low on his head, shadowing his eyes, but nothing could hide the storm working its way through him because he didn’t get it. This never happened with you, you were always careful during training and never pushed yourself to a point like this. He replayed it over and over in his mind, trying to see where he could have gone wrong. He remembered your stance, the way you’d insisted. How you’d smiled like you always did when you told him not to hold back. He hadn’t gone hard, he knew that. He always caught you, always made sure you landed right, always watched for the smallest hitch in your breathing to know when to ease up. But the trembling of your fingers lingered in his mind.
So why? Why did he still take you on when he saw your fingers tremble? Why didn’t you say anything? Why were you pushing yourself so hard?
He stopped pacing abruptly, staring at the closed door like it might answer him if he looked long enough.
“I didn’t push her too hard,” he muttered, more to himself than anyone else. His voice wasn’t loud. It was tight. Confused.
“She was fine earlier. Well… fine-ish. Her fighting was slower.” Usopp said quietly from where he leaned against the railing, arms crossed.
Zoro sat on a nearby crate, arms folded, eyes closed, but his jaw was set. He hadn’t said much since Luffy carried you past them, limp and too light in his arms. Zoro had noticed things too. The missed steps, the way your strength had come in flashes instead of a steady burn that it usually did. As if your muscles had already been aching. Still, even he hadn’t expected you to fall. Sanji exhaled slowly and flicked his lighter open. The small flame flared to life, reflecting briefly in his eyes before he shielded it with his palm. He took his time lighting the cigarette. He took a long, lengthy drag before the silence stretched thin.
“I don’t think it was the training,” Sanji said at last.
Luffy turned so fast it was almost a snap. “Then what else could it be?”
Sanji drew in a breath, smoke curling around his words as he spoke. “I think she hasn’t been eating, at least cutting down significantly.”
The world seemed to still. Even the ship felt quieter.
Luffy blinked once. Then again. “What?” He didn’t think he heard that correctly.
“I’ve noticed it,” Sanji continued, voice low, careful. “At first I thought she just wasn’t hungry. Everyone has off days. But it kept happening. Plates barely touched. Meals skipped entirely.” His cigarette trembled, just slightly, as he tapped ash over the railing. “Some days I think she ate once, If that. She’s probably weak right now from not eating properly to compensate for how much she’s been training..”
“That’s true…She has been training a lot more recently,” Nami said matter of factly, her words almost trailing off. She gave Robin a glance. It wasn’t dramatic, but it was the kind of look shared between people who understood something ugly and quiet. Luffy’s mouth opened, then closed. His brows knit together, confusion etched deep into his expression.
“Why?” he asked. It was a simple request, one that wasn’t filled with anger. He was just genuinely lost. No one answered him right away. He looked at Nami, waiting, knowing she could answer better than anyone. Luffy was always patient in the strangest moments. There was a burning sensation in Nami’s chest, one in which only flared when she knew she had to explain something complicated to her captain. She cleared her throat as she glanced around everyone in the room, mentally preparing herself to disclose as little as she felt like she could.
“She’s struggled with how she sees herself before,” Nami said gently. “Her strength. Her body. Whether she deserves to really be here.” Her voice softened further. “She doesn’t always say it out loud.”
“But she is good enough! She’s strong,” he said immediately. “She always keeps up. She never quits.” Luffy frowned deeper.
“I know,” Nami replied. “But that doesn’t mean she always believes she is.”
Luffy stared at them, trying to fit their words into his world. Into his rules. Into something that made sense.
“So…” He hesitated, then asked again, slower this time. “Why not eat?” The disbelief crept in now, threading through his voice like a crack in glass. “Food is like the best thing ever…It makes you happy..”
No one was able to answer Luffy and the room felt stiff with a tight silence that made him fidget. Luffy swallowed hard because the thought of you hurting sat wrong in his chest. It was heavy and uncomfortable knowing that there was something you didn’t share with him when you two shared everything. Nami watched him closely, her expression softening. With a sigh, Nami simply walked up to Luffy and placed one hand on his shoulder
“This might be something you need to hear from her, not us.”
He nodded slowly, even though understanding still hovered just out of reach. His throat felt tight in a way he didn’t have words for. He glanced back at the closed medical door. The pacing he had picked up stopped. He stood still then, hands fisting into the hem of his vest as something unfamiliar twisted through him: Helplessness. He didn’t know how to fight this. He couldn’t punch it. Couldn’t stretch around it. Couldn’t laugh it off.
All he knew was that you were in there, fragile in a way he hadn’t seen before, and somehow he’d missed it entirely. All he knew was that Nami was right, he needed to talk to you, to try to help in any way that he could because loving someone meant learning how to stand still with things you didn’t understand yet.
Luffy simply adjusted his hat as he opened up the hospital wing door. He drew in a slow breath and placed his body in the chair next to your bed, waiting for you to wake up.
The room fluttered into your view in bright and colorful specs. Your brows pinched inwards towards each other, your eyes squinting as you tried to focus your vision. Suddenly, that was when you noticed a familiar figure come to focus: Luffy. His body was slightly leaned over, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. As he noticed your body slightly shift, Luffy’s shoulders dropped instantly, relief rushing through him so fast it almost made his knees weak. He leaned over from the chair and hugged you before you could say a word, arms wrapping around you with the same instinctive certainty he used to grab onto life itself.
“You’re awake!” he cheered into your hair, voice rougher than usual. For a moment, that was all there was. His heartbeat under your cheek. The warmth of him. The way his grip tightened like he was afraid you might slip through his fingers again.
Then, without asking, Luffy kicked off his sandals and climbed into the small bed. You had squeezed out a small groan as the sheets rustled. He shifted his body beside you, his long limbs careful in a way that was rare for him. He pulled you against his chest, one arm looping securely around your back while the other settled at your waist, his hand resting there where it always belonged. His touch was warm and secure, his thumb moving slowly along your side, steady and unhurried. In his usual, normal pace. You let your head fall against his chest, as if your neck wasn’t strong enough. You hoped, quietly, desperately, that he wouldn’t ask.
For a while, he didn’t. He just held you. His breathing evened out, chest rising and falling beneath your cheek. His hand traced the familiar paths along your waist and hips as the silence stretched between you.
Then, very simply, Luffy asked the question you wanted to avoid:
“Have you been eating?” There was no accusation in his voice but your heart sank to the bottom of your stomach. The cold crept down your spine, practically making your skin crawl. It was just a question, asked as plainly as he asked where the next adventure was or what was for dinner. But for you the room went still. You didn’t look up at him. Your fingers curled into the fabric of your shirt, pulling it down without thinking, like you could hide yourself if you tried hard enough. But as you pulled down, Luffy’s hands held your waist firmly, unmoving in a way that ached in that moment. The silence between you was enough to unravel you. The first tear fell onto his chest, warm against his skin. Luffy’s body stiffened under you, you felt him freeze. Then another tear followed and before you knew it your shoulders began to shake. It was quiet at first, like you were trying to keep it contained, trying to be small even as your body betrayed you.
“I just wanted to look better,” you whispered. “I hate how I look sometimes. I hate how no matter what I do, I never get smaller. I hate my curves. I hate that I feel heavy all the time. I hate that I don’t ever feel pretty enough,” The words spilled out faster after that, tangled and raw. It was as if the cup you tried to keep empty decided to overflow as you spoke. Luffy frowned as he shifted himself to see you more clearly, adjusting your bodies to sit up and face each other. His eyes jumped around, scanning your tear soaked face. He watched as you began to crumble, instinctively leaning forward. His hands immediately cupped your face, his thumbs wiping away your tears.
At this point, the heat on your face overwhelmed you and you instinctively wanted to hide all over again. Your hands grabbed his wrist as you stared at him, your eyes wanting to avert his gaze but you couldn’t.
“I’m trying so hard, Luffy” you sobbed, your voice finally cracking open. “It’s just…e-every time I look at myself, I feel like I’m failing. I train and train and nothing changes. I just wanted to be better. I didn’t want to be… this. I just-”
“But I never wanted you to change! I would never ask you to do something that stupid,” Luffy interrupted, his words incredibly firm and straightforward to the point you swallowed your own words down your throat. You looked at him with wide eyes, your tears still stinging them. For the first time in your entire relationship, you saw the smallest glimmer of tears tugging at his eyes. With a gentle squeeze, Luffy swallowed hard as if he was trying hard to not overwhelm himself.
“I like you how you are. I love how you are. You’re strong and I chose you and nothing matters to me more than you being safe. What matters is you.” His voice wavered then, just slightly. “I don’t know what I’d do if something bad happened to you. What do I need to do right now?”
“No, I’m serious because there has to be somethin’ I could do. Because I can’t think of one good reason why you would even do somethin’ this stupid, Y/n.” Luffy’s words had struck a cord in you and you immediately shouted out of impulse. Without thinking, your hands pulled his wrist down from your face, to which he flicked his head down briefly before he looked at you again in shock.
“And that’s the problem: You don’t ever have to think about it at all! You never have to think twice about how you look next to Zoro or Sanji. I am so physically different from the other girls and it hurts me. They have perfect bodies that can wear the cutest clothes and ....god I-” A deep and exasperated sigh fled from you and you pinched the bridge of your nose.
“I don’t even know why I’m explaining this to you when you so clearly don’t understand. You don’t have any right to judge me on something you cannot comprehend!” You snapped, your voice rising more than you intended to. Your breathing was heavy, filled with a pain you couldn’t begin to explain. The two of you looked at each for a brief moment. He saw your walls had been placed up, something that he had taken down before but this time it felt so hard to understand. Luffy always knew what to do with you and it felt easy, but this moment was more challenging than he thought.
You were right, he didn’t understand and he never thought of his weight or body as an obstacle in the same way you did. However, he remembered how weak he felt when Kuma had separated you from him back at Sabaody. He remembered the despair of not being good enough to save you or the others and that feeling only amplified when he lost Ace at Marine Ford. But he knew what did help him during that dark time when he felt weak and alone: Jinbei’s words of encouragement. Luffy took a deep breath and released a long sigh. He wasn’t sure how to always communicate how he felt towards you, he figured you always understood that.
Watching the way you pushed yourself to the point of breaking yourself apart though, Luffy knew that this was more than just not feeling loved. It was an internal conflict, a fight you had to fight but he knew you needed someone the same way Jinbei was there for him.
Luffy’s hand grabbed his straw hat from his head and placed it on your head firmly, his hand eventually trailing back to your face.
“I’m sorry, I know I don’t get it,” Luffy started and your face leaned against his touch. You melted into him the same way he always melted into you, but this time he saw the exhaustion and the bitter pain that ate at you. His thumb rubbed your cheek once more, this time with a reverence that he didn’t even know he was capable of.
“But I also know that I love you, Y/N,” Your eyes fluttered to him as he spoke to you, your body exhausted from the tears you had shed.
“I love you because you’re strong, you can fight. I love how you take extra snacks just for me when we leave the Sunny. I love your way of calling out Usopp when he’s being dumb. I love your smile, your laugh, and I absolutely love your body. I love every part of you. You don’t have to look like anyone. You don’t have to be smaller. You don’t have to be anything different than just yourself. I’ve never been ashamed of you. Not once. I chose you. I chose you to be with me. I chose you to be on my crew.”
Luffy’s brows furrowed as he spoke, pain flickering there. Suddenly, his hand left your face and he simply grabbed your hands. He lifted your hands slightly, pressing them against his chest so you could feel his heart. The beat was strong, but you felt it. His heart was racing and in that moment, you realized that Luffy was actually worried. A mixture of fear, of frustration, but most of all devotion lingered as he looked at you. Not once did you ever see him get like this before, it was as if there was a completely different man in front of you. Your sobs broke free again, louder now, your face burning as you nodded again and again, overwhelmed by the weight of his words.
“I’ll eat with you,” Luffy continued, softer now. “Every meal, like always. If I need to tell you how great and pretty you are every time, I will. I don’t care. But you can’t keep hurting yourself like this. As your captain, I'm tellin’ you to cut it out,” His free hand came up to your face again, clumsy but tender as he wiped the tsunami of tears away. He leaned over and kissed you, slow and gentle, his lips lingering like a promise rather than a demand. When he pulled back, he pulled you closer to him, holding you like there was nowhere else either of you needed to be.
“Besides,” Luffy added as his hands slid down to the sides of hips, his hands firmly gripping you there. A small gasp slipped from your lips as he flashed his usual gummy smile, his fingers gripping you and pulling you closer to him.
“I need you to stay like this because where else am I going to take my naps?”
You laughed properly this time, weak but real, as you gave a playful slap. He kissed you again, softer, then pressed another kiss at the corner of your mouth, lingering there for a moment to take you all in.