The Untempered Schism

[nadhie]

my dad just exploded into laughter out of nowhere and told me ‘imagine the lion king but with sea lions’ he has been chuckling about it for 5 straight minutes now

[nadhie]

apparently it doesn’t matter that i’ve told him 10 times it’s the monkey who raises the newborn and not the lion himself, this is the scene he has been imagining

“he can’t raise his kid over his head”

[wakingfromthewater]

I want it

[crockpotcauldron]

okay but have you considered

[threefreeze]

shakespeare was ahead of his time

[natashkashai]

reblog if baby don’t hurt me just played in your head in perfect tonality

[aejumi]

[jetkitty]

Why was this targeted at me? I clicked it to see if it’s real. It is.

[sashacooper]

xliaxtasadako:

calamitys-child:

Me reading academic papers: incoherent nonsense. Bullshit. I could write better than this in my sleep

Me writing academic papers: this sentence is 206 words long and contains 19 commas & a semicolon, fuck you

You either die with a bachelors degree or you stay in college long enough to watch yourself become the villain.

[xplodingunicorn]

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil

[lured-deactivated20170602]

what does Quil do

[softbutxh-deactivated20170428]

All the time all the time

[dollargenesis]

before anybody asks, YES, i did ruin everything with my hubris

[saltrat88]

Forgot how to cat?

[wombat-annihilator-deactivated2]

Glitch in the matrix

[jetkitty]

Is this Skyrim?

[humorteliblee]

[awildswan]

[youreouttayourtree-deactivated2]

ladies dont start fights, but they can finish them.

[hexlockspear]

that is a cat with a hairbow how is that relevant to the caption

[hindre-blog1]

[lillyjadethings-deactivated2019]

[bears-official]

DEPLOY THE BOY

[allthingshyper]

I think some of y'all don’t realize how damn ridiculous armadillo’s are

[de-smol-violinist-deactivated20]

Oh wow, a sandshrew

[babyanimalgifs]

Starting the day with an Otter

[oxfordcommaforever]

Oh. My. God.

[whateverwaythewindblows]

It’s like a cat snake and I want an army of them

[nimrochan]

@jetkitty

[randomsplashes]

✨ two types of siblings (insta)✨

[immortal-maschine]

speaking of which, i hope all of my mutuals know that you can go on down to the hardware store and just buy a big ol bag of dried blood

[kaijubrains]

Forbidden nesquik 

[tothearkremade-deactivated20200]

[nimrochan]

@jetkitty

[jetkitty]

🤦🏽‍♀️

[paperstorm]

Australian comedian Jim Jefferies points out the ridiculousness of American pro-gun arguments. x x

[redhead4eyes]

Welp