Please Like Me

Comedian. Idiot. Glorified Loser.

[3000s]

tony soprano. i didnt say his name but he popped into your head didnt he

[segamascott]

[the-perfect-wagnerite-again]

Debasing the beautiful purity of the Triple Dipper for internet points......truly demons prowl amongst us 😭

[crabs-and-bedbugs]

I gotta be real with you, man: Chili's is NOT a "celebration of food", or at least it isn't anymore. Applebees beats it in every respect. (I've been on a food journey for the past few months, trying new restaurants for lunch)

[the-perfect-wagnerite-again]

I've had just about enough of your nonsense

[spann-stann]

[crazy-brazilian]

beyond parody

[aflo]

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope

[nerdygaymormon]

[dunkthebiscuit]

This is why Pride is not just a party. It's a joyful celebration, but it's also a pointed and colourful two-finger salute to a world that stood back whilst so many of us died. And we'll never go quietly, never again.

[necromancelena]

Computer loves to be like "fuck! You sure you want to shut down? Youve got volume mixer open"

[amnhnyc]

Excussse us… have you ever heard of the blunthead slug snake (Aplopeltura boa)? This nocturnal reptile, which can reach lengths of up to 33 in (85 cm), primarily feeds on slugs and snails. Unlike many other snakes, this species eats using a technique called mandibular sawing: To slice off the indigestible parts of prey, the blunthead slug snake slides its jaws back and forth like a saw! It can be found in parts of Southeast Asia including Thailand, Sumatra, and Java.

Photo: sparkn, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist

[stroebe2]

[segamascott]

[segamascott]

[oeing-oeing-clay]

omg did you seriously invite the torturer 😐

[sobcat]

people who do a PhD are running from something

[petits-pois-carcinogenic]

the job market

[kaylmao]

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

[innerchildabortionclinic]

PARENT: I got "rubber duck" for my child's "bath" and she loves it.

AUTISM RESPONSE: Rubber ducks and other rubber bath toys can accumulate mold on the inside because of small holes underneath where moisture becomes trapped. The mold often goes unnoticed because it's not visible from the outside.

CORRECT RESPONSE(?): That's nice, I am unaware of how mold could impact this situation.

[badassdemonsword]

[elliespectacular]

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

The joke is already funny!

Further additions or permutations may weaken its potency!

[mentemori]

My mom left an eviction notice for the carpenter bees burrowing into our porch