welcome

wow  fall out booty

[skulkingskull-blog]

[badkidsjokes]

Brown

whats brown all over?

a stick

[goodbyeeveryonee-deactivated202]

milf

man i luv fruit

[ganseyblues]

truce, twenty one pilots

[fuckyeahsmilingdogs]

[douxkitten]

where u guys headed?

[angeldown]

my uber is here

[unwashedgrapes]

i hate being ignored i Despise it but i ignore every1 i am ignoring like 3 people right now for no particular reason ….. crazy..

[jetpackblues13]

Me on my wedding day: you still like me right

[sxpositive]

has america tried turning itself on and off again?

[inkbomberfghjk-deactivated20230]

yes

[bunney]

*takes gulp of vodka straight from the bottle* my day was fine

[hotboyproblems]

when you think about it kim kardashian really is like us

i’d do the same thing if i didn’t have my laptop for two days

wait it doesn’t end there

[timeaway]

When someone comments on your physical appearance and you’re forced to acknowledge the vessel of flesh you inhabit

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

my mom tried to get me to watch an adam sandler film last night i was like “no mom you know every movie he makes is shit dont you” and she was like “yeah but this movie is netflix-produced so its gotta be good. how bad could it be” like no… mom… you are so naive… you are so innocent to the reign of terror that adam sandler has over Raunchy Comedy…………

[nickholmes]

“We never just talk anymore.”

[ukwonswife-deactivated20170629]

*male writer voice* i don’t remember her name. it’s not important. i met her at a record store and she went home with me because i offered to buy her cigarettes. she had amazing perky breasts. we drank cheap whiskey and had sex three times that night and then she told me she wanted to be a dragonfly because they were free. i slept with her many times after that. but one day she stopped returning my calls and i don’t know why. that was seven years ago. on monday she got hit by a bus and died. i saw it in the newspaper so i went to her funeral and it made me sad. i don’t know why. i hate my mother even though she pays my rent while i write poetry about masturbating in the shower

[sadnegro]

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

This is…so me

[n0chillvibes]

+

[4a0000-deactivated20170115]

Grocery shopping is a date

[bluenokia3210-deactivated201701]

what would you do if you went to a party and they was playing owl city fireflies

[greatbigsword]

Go hard

[porkfriedpussy]

Planet earth might turn slowly but this ass don’t

[fuckaerobics-deactivated2018012]