Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Not today Justin
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
titsay
Keni
seen from Germany
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@jewelthieves
me ㅤand ㅤthe ㅤdevil, ㅤwalking ㅤside ㅤby ㅤside.
WELCOME TO J̲E̲W̲E̲L̲T̲H̲I̲E̲V̲E̲S̲.̲T̲U̲M̲B̲L̲R̲.̲C̲O̲M̲, an independent fandomless original character, ida jane montgomery, based in her own lore and inspired by the spy genre and black cat as portrayed in insomniac's spider - man. originally established on 03/25/2023. this blog is 21+. beta editor and xkit rewritten compatible.
carrd. pinterest. spotify. radio ida jane.
JODIE COMER for Noble Panacea (2023)
𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍/𝐒𝐏𝐘 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 (a collection of prompts inspired by spy movies. Feel free to adjust phrasing and gendered terms as necessary) TW: firearms, death mention
> 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄
"You know, I was in love with an agent once."
"I remember the Secret Service being tougher."
"I can negotiate something."
"I bet you're a spy."
"Give me the gun."
"Wow. You really are CIA."
“You don’t look like a spy.”
"Are you here to kill me?"
"Sorry, love. Gotta save the world."
"Spoken like a true traitor."
"Christ, I miss the Cold War."
"This used to be a Gentleman's game."
"Do you really think a knife can beat a bullet?"
"Quite the body count you're stacking up."
"Is that your real name or just another lie?"
"Governments change… the lies stay the same."
"That's the code name you picked? Really?"
"So you've been lying about your identity all this time?"
"Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
"Do you want a clean kill or do you want to send a message?"
"[name] was one of the most effective black op agents we've ever had."
"Sometimes we pay so much attention to our enemies, we forget to watch our friends as well."
"I hate to say it, but, the accountants seem to be running MI6 these days."
"Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight?"
"It pains me to admit it, [name], but one day, you might be as good a spy as any of them.
> 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒
[HANDLER] Muse A is new to the agency, and Muse's B is their handler [COMMON ENEMY] Muse A and Muse B are from two different agencies and get assigned the same target. [TRAITOR] Muse A and Muse B are from two different agencies, and Muse A is trying to convince Muse B to change sides. [FALLING FOR THE ENEMY] Muse A is supposed to seduce and kill Muse B, but instead they fall in love. [LIES] Muse A has known Muse B for a while, but is just now finding out that Muse B is a spy. [RESCUE MISSION] Muse B has been taken hostage by the enemy, and Muse A needs to rescue them. [MENTOR] Muse A is a new recruit and is paired with Muse B, much more experienced. [COMPROMISED] Muse A finds out that Muse B is an enemy spy. [RELUCTANT ALLY] Muse A is an ex-enemy agent that has been captured and, in order to avoid going to prison, has agreed to work with Muse B. [THE MOLE] Muse A and Muse B are investigating a mole in the agency. One of the muses can be the mole in this scenario. [SWAN SONG] Muse A is a spy that's been called out of retirement to work with Muse B on one final mission. [SNEAK PEEK] Muse A is a spy and Muse B has seen something that they shouldn't have. [CIVILIAN] Muse A is a spy and Muse B is a civillian that is brought in to help on a top secret project
𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐘 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐌𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 (a collection of spooky autumn-themed prompts. Some are scarier than others!)
Send one of the following emojis for our muses to:
👻 Explore a haunted house
🔮 Have a seance
🕯️ Use a Ouija board
📺 Watch horror movies
🌲 Get lost in the woods at night
⚰️ Spend the night in a cemetery
🏢 Explore an abandoned store/mall
🎡 Explore an abandoned theme park
🏥 Explore an abandoned hospital
📿 Perform or witness an exorcism
🐻 Try to find a cryptid (bigfoot, mothman...)
📚 Read out loud from a cursed book
👽 Look for UFOs
😈 Summon a demon
🧙♂️ Cast a curse
🔪 Get chased by a slasher killer
🧛♀️ Get chased by a vampire
🧟♀️ Get chased by zombies
❝ i'd like to think i can tell what kind of wine someone will drink just by looking at them . ❞ it's mostly said in a teasing manner , but sebastian leaves room for believability in the discussion as he grins and raises his brows in her direction . maybe he's making this up , or maybe he's being completely and totally honest . ❝ i prefer red , as well , so maybe i just picked up on your naturally good preferences . how do my students put it . . . I GOT GOOD VIBES FROM YOU . ❞ if that doesn't make her laugh , sebastian doesn't know what will . he's always learning new ways of speaking from his college-aged students . when sophia mentions dancing and asks him about his skills ( or his lack thereof ) , sebastian sips his glass and nods along . ❝ actually , i've taken numerous ballroom dancing classes in the time i've been out of the army . always wanted to learn , and there weren't many people in the military that wanted to teach me . ❞ he smirks . ❝ so i . . . i'd like to think i'm a fairly good dancer . why do you ask ? WERE YOU HOPING I'D ASK YOU OUT ONTO THE DANCE FLOOR ? or just curious about my moves ? ❞
“ good vibes, huh? ” funny. HIS VIBE METER MUST BE OFF. that, or she's exceptionally good at her job. her true drink preference leaked through, just for the night, just to make it more enjoyable. ida jane can choke her way through one martini, but past that? no, she'll enjoy a nice red. it's not like they'll see each other after this — ida jane can enjoy her wine, and sophia can break from the norm for one night. at least on this job, her distraction is entertaining. a professor who dances and likes wine? last time, it was an elderly woman who chastised mrs. maria aguilar for being at a casino instead of at home, taking care of mr. luis aguilar. maybe, if they met outside of here, she'd be interested in maintaining a friendship. there's no way that can happen now. not now, that he knows her as sophia. MAYBE IT'S FOR THE BEST. “ curious, mostly. although, if you're asking . . . ” she grins, taking a sip from her glass, eyebrows raising.
Jodie Comer for Soho House by Greg Williams
❝ Why, Miss Montgomery, ❞ and it is nothing more than a feigned syrupy drip to his voice, as sweet as it can be when a rasp is little more than the baseline, ❝ surely you know better. ❞ Kaz keeps his distance, but no amount of space between them diminishes his presence. Whatever illuminates her is refracted by his ambling form, only the jeweled eye of his crow’s head cane winking brightly as he crosses the threshold deeper into the room. He clings only to the perimeter. ❝ I haven’t a clue what you mean. ❞ The big plot. Perhaps his eyes would glitter, too, if not for the very depth of their black endlessness. He might even have smiled, but his mouth is set thin and severe as ever. ❝ I have a job for you. Big cut, if you’re hungry. ❞
she's always hungry. for this kind of work, at least. “ i'll need more than that, mister brekker. ” she tilts her head, eyes squinted slightly with a tight - lipped grin. THIS WAS HOW IT ALWAYS WENT, this little dance of theirs. it's how it would always go, she thought. HE HAD INTEL, SHE NEEDED HELP. SHE HAD INTEL, HE NEEDED HELP. it worked out just fine this way. ida jane crosses her arms, rocking back and forth on her heels. what would it be this time? priceless gems from a millennia before? something involving uncut diamonds? maybe another large - scale heist. god, she hoped it was something like that. “ obviously i'm in. what do i need to do? ”
"... WHERE ARE WE?" PROMPTS * assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary
what is this place, anyway?
why did you bring me here?
this is it? this is what you've been talking about this whole time?
i'm not sure where we are.
do you have any idea where this is?
does anything look familiar to you?
i could have sworn we came this way.
we've been walking in circles.
should we split up or keep moving?
do you have any idea where we are?
this isn't good. this doesn't look familiar.
that's the third time we've passed that tree.
bit dark in here, isn't it?
are you sure you know where we're going?
what did i just step into?
should we press on?
i have a feeling we're not in kansas anymore.
i thought you said you knew where to go.
where are you taking me?
if we just sit right here and wait, someone will come looking for us.
have you ever been here before?
you seem familiar with this place.
i don't recognize anything.
i knew we made a wrong turn back there.
you've been leading us in circles.
this isn't my street.
that house doesn't look familiar.
do you have a map?
we're already lost. i'm not planning on getting even more lost.
maybe we should ask for directions.
i don't think we should have come here.
my phone's dead. do you have service?
we could try retracing our steps.
could you help me try and figure out where we are?
oh my god. we're going to die out here.
quick! look for familiar landmarks.
i've never been here before.
oh no. i'm staying right here and waiting for help.
is this the place you've been talking about?
so... where is here?
of course. just my luck. i get lost with you of all people.
how much longer do we have to walk?
are we almost there?
you couldn't find your way out of a paper bag.
you should have trusted me with the directions.
this seems like some kind of underground passage.
where does this door lead to?
we've been walking for hours.
oh great. we're lost.
i'll see if i can get a good view from up there.
i don't think we should be here.
maybe we could try calling for help.
i don't want us to get separated out here.
it'll get dark soon.
we're going to die out here, aren't we.
i'll just sit here and wait for my impending doom.
the last thing i wanted to do was get lost with you.
is that your way of helping us find our way out of here? because it's not working.
PROMPTS FOR LISTENING IN / EAVESDROPPING * assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary
i heard everything you said.
can you make out what they're saying?
hang on. i can hear them talking in the other room.
did you hear that?
how long were you listening?
keep this between us.
you were listening in.
i didn't want you to hear that.
well. now you know the truth.
maybe if you put your ear against the door, we can hear them.
did you catch anything that was said?
i wish i could hear what they're saying.
so when were you going to tell me the truth?
that conversation was private.
how long have you been standing there?
i was going to tell you the truth eventually.
how much did you hear?
it's not polite to eavesdrop, you know.
i heard you mention my name.
what was that conversation about?
why were you hiding that from me?
why can't you just say it in front of me?
it's not the right time to tell you.
this is between us.
i heard you say my name, so i came to find out what's going on.
you can tell me the truth.
i already know what's going on.
there's no point in whispering.
it's too loud. i can't make out what they're saying.
try getting a little closer.
let me try to hear what they're saying.
wait here. i'll sneak up on them.
don't say a word.
be quiet or else they'll hear us!
did i just hear that right?
well, you heard wrong.
that's not what i said.
this is what happens when you eavesdrop.
you didn't hear everything.
you're taking things out of context.
i wasn't listening!
not a peep! you understand me?
i was just standing here, minding my own business.
i didn't hear a word.
that's not at all what i implied.
i'm not sure what i heard.
you heard that, too, right?
i don't want you listening in on any more conversations.
maybe i heard a few things here and there.
tell me what you know.
why are you whispering?
i hate it when you keep secrets from me.
ok tomorrow. i’m rbing memes and cleaning my drafts and getting little miss jewel thief back up and running <3
JODIE COMER The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, April 5th 2023
ida jane loves to skip stones. she prefers red wine over white or rosé. she mentally assigns gemstones to everyone she meets and keeps tabs on it in case she wants to give them a nice gift. she was vegetarian during university but stopped after joining the golden circle. she loves to wear fancy clothing and likes that her job gives her an excuse to. she thought about burning her fingerprints off once but never did. each of her identities are based off people she’s stolen from. the key to her heart is showing interest in geology over a ridiculous amount of pasta. she prefers apple over pc.
RE: ( ... ) I. MONTGOMERY ( @jewelthieves ) FOR R. STARK ; " TRUSTING A THIEF CAN BE DANGEROUS "
criminal enterprise has long been an unfortunate but resilient product of gotham. chaos, and power mongering, and fear in the bone - gritting dark. a constant clash of lions and wolves. it's all he knows ; the carnage. thinks he might have tasted blood before he did air. chosen son on the top of ruin. maybe that's the reason he keeps the company he does. too tainted for anything else. war torn. he observes her out of the corner of his eye while otherwise pouring a drink in front of him. one and then two. the amber liquid carrying an aroma of indulgence and expense. " i never said i trusted you, ida. " he speaks in an accent that doesn't quite match the city around them. but it's bastardized ( … ) weakened by the years he's spent between here and there. home. and it's true, isn't it — he doesn't trust her. but that doesn't mean he didn't like her. one not necessarily mutually exclusive from the other. am i all that likable ? he gestures away an associate as he carries the glasses towards her and waits until they've left the room entirely before speaking again. " and i can't imagine you trust me. " he won't feel insulted either way. the north men were oft considered traitors but it was all perspective, wasn't it? all depends on which side you stood on. " so i suppose it's a good thing that trust doesn't necessitate good business. "
she almost spits back it’s ida jane, but holds. it was time for a new persona, it seemed. it likely wasn’t wise for her to use her real name with someone associated with the starks, such a powerful family, known and feared even by the person who ran her family. “ you’re right. i don’t trust you. ” eyes follow the hand of the person who just disposed of the bottle of spirits, taking note of the cheap jewelry that adorns the waitstaff’s fingers — nothing worth taking. not yet, at least. they might not trust each other, but they needed to work together, at least for now. benjamin was thrilled at the prospect of ida jane working with the starks, thrilled at her expertise being known by yet another powerful family. “ but i can help you and you can help me. a business deal, if you will. ” she reaches for her glass, offering it towards him, waiting for that clink before she drinks. “ how much as benjamin told you about me? ” she takes a drink from her glass, maintaining eye contact with him as she does. “ he told me a lot about you. you’re kind of famous in our line of work, you know. ”
@warbyrds : something about him rubs me the wrong way.
“ you and me both. ” there was something about killing a room of people and successfully getting away with it that made ida jane feel close to a person, and thankfully, she thought carol felt the same. currently, she’s looking across yet another crowded room, towards someone who looks nothing short of sinister. why do men stare at women the way he does? the way she looks at a prized jewel to be stolen. “ i’ll keep an eye out. if he tries anything, i’m stealing his watch. and his phone. ”
Jodie Comer as Kate Parks in Doctor Foster, series two.
@ltdice : there seems to be lots of reasons why i shouldn't.
“ are they reasons? or excuses? ” she found herself in the same place once upon a time — some dead - end job, one where the risks became higher than the rewards. thieving was a dangerous game. she was lucky she made it out with a lucky deal and the promise of education. not everyone was so lucky. she's sure whatever carmen's situation is has to be less severe than ida jane's — but she's hopeful she can help. “ is it stopping you from what you really want to do? because if it is, then it's just an excuse. ”
@barrelborne : busy tomorrow?
his voice catches her — kaz brekker was the last person she expected to see today, and she can already anticipate why he’s here. her turn to repay the favor. last time, he helped her with a rather stubborn client. she wonders what the crows could be up to this time — and why it requires outside help. “ that depends. ” her lips purse, arms crossed over her chest as she leans back all relaxed. “ does it have to do with this big plot my people have picked up on? because if it isn’t, then i’m free. i’d hope you and yours would be wise enough to stay off the radars of the people i work with. ”
