Another classic example of procrastination. Truly stunning.

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@jexiria
Another classic example of procrastination. Truly stunning.
Itās raining, itās pouring
Sherlock is boring.
Iām laughing, Iām crying
Sherlock is dying.
Rebrand
So in the Road to El Dorado...
Ā Does anyone notice how thereās like, the townspeople, then thereās the High Priests but itās like, where is the Emperor? All of a sudden, twoĀ āGodsā come along and take over now all I can think of is the Emperor being on vacation and coming back like
This is the only valid crossover.
HORF
Oh my fucking ribs.
this is clearly a case of a dog being reincarnated in the wrong body
Mads Mikkelsen is such an anomaly as an actor?? and a human being in general????
He doesnāt remember SHIT about filming Casino Royale (he didnāt even REALIZE he was auditioning for a part in the first place, he said he just literally walked in and instantly got the job?! To the point Daniel Craig borderline interrogated him for how he got cast so easily, considering he had to undergo MULTIPLE AUDITIONS before he got cast himself??)
He wasnāt overwhelmingly interested in NBC Hannibalās lead role until he found out that long-time bestie Hugh Dancy was already cast as the other lead (HUGH TOO. He hyped himself up for having Mads as his co-star, forgot that decision wasnāt up to him, then sat anxiously by his phone for confirmation from the network. NERD. NERDS. BOTH OF THEM).
āYou should make a movie in Denmark!ā, i.e. Madsā drunken solution to ensure he and Hugh could hang out more often because they live in different countries. What a darling.
According to Janice Poon, heāll eat anything. No matter how gross. Including frigid bone marrow with a straight face.
And then he only hopped onto Death Stranding because his son, a prolific gamer, recognized what a huge deal Hideo Kojima is and told him he had to⦠Carl Jacobsen Mikkelsen has the sort of power we can only dream of.
He was pretty much entirely unfamiliar with Star Wars before he was cast as Galen Erso (I distinctly recall him grimacing in the bg during a cast interview when asked if theyāve watched their new film yet, with Ben Mendelsohn giving him a very pointed knowing smirk because he KNEW. HE KNEW MADS HADNāT SEEN IT YET-) and spent plenty of time failing quite miserably at SW trivia games with the cast.
Then that one interview where he casually cracks a bottle of liquor open on camera. What an icon.
And correct me if Iām wrong, but I believe a major reason he joined the cast of Dr. Strange was because he was going to be allowed to perform his own stunt and fight scenes?? I think the convo went something along the lines ofĀ āWill I get to fight?āĀ āYe-āĀ āOkā.
His female co-stars swoon at him. He literally causes hoards of his male co-stars to seriously begin questioning their sexuality.
If it wasnāt for his team heād probably show up to every award show in the latest neon adidas athletic wear.
Reminds his wife on a constant basis that sheās married to the sexiest man alive from like ten years ago or smth. I think Hanne said he even has the clipping stating so and sometimes pulls it out.
Is he even real???
Love cryptid discussions
God, listening to John Mulaney talk about doing hard fucking drugs in his youth is like hearing a nun reminisce on her last orgy before she converted. What do you mean you didnāt come out of the womb with a fatherly demeanor and crippling anxiety?
The hardest drug I can picture John Mulvaney doing is a bottle of tums
John Mulaney looks and sounds a LOT like the friend I had in high school that had his dad (who had a doctorate in chemistry) making him LSD to sell for spending money. I think I knew him for five years before I ever encountered him NOT high as balls. His best friend had that sameĀ ā50ā²s wholesome boy next doorā vibe. I once walked in on him deep throating the landlord in his kitchen. I squeaked in surprise, he held up one finger in the universalĀ āhang onā gestured, opened the fridge, blindly grabbed a beer, and tossed it to me- all without missing a beat. There wasnāt even a party going on. To the best of my knowledge he was not in any way involved with the landlord, nor was he in a position where he was likely to be coerced into some kind of real life porno ābjs for rentā scenario. He just⦠did that⦠for⦠some reason that was never adequately explained to me. When I returned to the living room and told my friend (the one that sold the LSD his dad made) what I saw, he just shrugged and saidĀ āpractice.ā
What?!?!
Another time we showed up for a potluck and pregaming and their apartment was killed with chickens. Live chickens. Like a few dozen of them. The only explanation? āitās a long storyā.
One time I was offered tea, I said yes. The roommate asked what kind. I saidĀ āwhatever you are having is fineā⦠and thatās how I tried magic mushrooms for the first time.
I once got a phone call from them asking for a favor. If they reimbursed me the gas, could I come pick them up- theyād also buy me dinner. They sounded out of their minds on something, so I said I would. I drove 3 hours to a payphone in a campground in the dead of winter to pick them up. There was no other tire tracks, just their footprints. Neither of them had any idea how they got there or what they had been doing for TWO DAYS, but they each had close to $300 in cash, and we wearing clothes neither of them recognized.Ā
I am honestly amazed they are still alive.
TLDR: guys who look and sound like John Mulaney are like 99.999% WILD AS FUCK
we live in the best possible version of cyberpunk
this is how people born after 1995 hack. when i started hacking or āphreakingā in the late 80s i would get in the zone by snorting homemade amphetamines & listening to harsh noise cassettes while banging out code for 24+ hour periods on my atari. mostly i would write text-to-speech features into the operating system so the computer said swear words when you double-click. i remember when html was invented i got so frustrated because theres so many greater than and less than signs and you have to put them around everything. in early january of 2001 i changed Googleās header to a gif of aĀ pissingĀ orangutan and the resulting publicity turned the website into a household nameĀ
never have a been more devastated to scroll over a url and see its deactivated who are you ma'am
what if god was one of usā¦
Everyone tried to straighten Rami Malekās tie, butā¦
there are only two types of male anime protagonists:
angry
pisces
there seems to be some confusion, so Iād just like to clarify: I hate attack on titan. I hate evangelion. I hate mirai nikki. I hate tokyo ghoul. I hate danganronpa. I hate devilman crybaby. and I hate being alive.
Will: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One. Margo code name, āBeen There, Done That.ā Hannibal is āCurrently Doing That.ā Alana āIt Happened Once in a Dream.ā Bedelia, code name āIf I Had to pick a āLadyāā. Jack is⦠Eagle Two.
Jack: Oh, thank God.
Hannibal : [slaps belly]
Hannibal : this bad boy can fit so many people in it
Bryan Fuller on Hannigram until 2016: Itās there if you want to see it but itās also not. Maybe after some beerā¦Itās not like Mads is going to spit on his hand and get to work.
Bryan Fuller on Hannigram in 2017: They survived the fall, they kill together after 4 years and yes they are living together.
Bryan Fuller on Hannigram in 2018: *sips his coffee out of a MY SHIP IS CANON mug with a picture of Hannibal and Will kissing WHILE wearing a shirt with fanart of the two of them ALSO KISSING* and you know what else? they switch in bed if you were wondering
it is so strange to me when people tell me they never had an ancient egyptian phaseā¦like, what did you even do during your childhood?Ā
this is oddly specific?? and over 3000 people relate???
That egyptology book was too golden and shiny to resist
Children, collectively: crow brain says shiny and full of secrets. Gotta know.
Hannibal hurting his enemies vs hurting his beloved
will: