☆ @jinxtheplanet - Tumblr Blog

Chapter 03.

<- last chapter

Pairing: Ellie Williams x Reader AND Abby Anderson x Reader (separately)

Word Count: 9.3k+

Summary: You and Ellie catch up, but this cause major turmoil inside of you. You have a huge decision to make.

A/N: Hello! Sorry this took longer than expected to be posted! This chapter has been done since last week, but it has taken everything out of me to edit it lol sorry. If you would like to be added to the tag list lmk!

Ao3 Link

--

I can’t do this. I need to get the fuck out of this place.

Out of all the places in the country you could possibly be, you would end up where Ellie lived. Of course, after all of these years, this would be the place. The universe always played sick jokes on you.

The truth was, Ellie being here complicated everything. Your emotions and your capabilities of finishing this mission were shot. You wanted to give up the mission and live in this fantasy world Ellie lived in, but you couldn't. Abby was waiting for you on the other side.

Regardless, you held on to Ellie. You could still feel her breath on your neck. It was unbelievable that this was how everything would play out.

The two of you held onto each other as if you were afraid that the other might disappear if you let go.

“Hey, is everything alright out he–”

Jesse’s voice cut off mid-sentence.

You immediately release her at the sound of his voice, almost instinctively stepping back. Your eyes were red, your face blotchy from crying, and Ellie did not look any better.

“...Did we miss something?” Dina asks slowly. Her gaze flicked between you and Ellie. “Ellie?”

Ellie snaps back to reality by the sound of her name. She stepped away from you and toward her friends, rubbing the back of her neck like she’d been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to.

“No,” she muttered. “We’re good.”

Jesse wasn’t convinced. His eyebrows were raised nearly to his hairline as he looked between the two of you standing there in the snow like a pair of guilty teenagers.

“You two are gonna explain why you’re both crying in the middle of the street,” he said, “or are we just gonna pretend this is normal?”

Ellie shot him an annoyed look. “Drop it, man.”

Dina crossed her arms, her curiosity clearly winning the battle.

“Oh no,” she said, stepping closer. “We are absolutely not dropping it.”

“You ran out of there,” she said, pointing at you. “Ellie chased after you. Now we come out here and find you two hugging and crying in the middle of the street. How did this happen? You’ve been here less than an hour.”

She tilted her head in your direction, “So yeah. I’m gonna need the full story.”

Ellie glanced at you briefly before answering.

“We grew up together,” she said.

“That’s it?” Jesse asked.

Ellie shrugged, but Dina’s eyes stayed on you. They were sharp. Observant. You’d seen that look before on soldiers and patrol leaders, people who had learned the hard way that trusting the wrong stranger could get everyone killed. You had looked at people the same way far too many times in Seattle.

Ellie shifted beside you, clearly uncomfortable.

“Dina,” she muttered. “It’s not a big deal.”

Dina raised an eyebrow.

“Really?” she said slowly. “Because it looks like a big deal.”

The wind swept through the street, carrying loose snow across the ground in thin white ribbons. Your fingers had gone numb, but you barely noticed. Every nerve in your body was focused on the three people standing in front of you.

Jesse exhaled through his nose and rubbed his hands together.

“Okay,” he said. “Before we do this interrogation thing out here and freeze to death…”

He gestured toward the building behind them.

“Can we take this inside?”

Dina didn’t move. Her eyes were still locked on you.

Jesse sighed.

“Dina.”

She finally broke her stare, rolling her shoulders slightly.

“Fine,” she muttered.

Jesse turned back toward the mess hall and pushed the door open. Warm air spilled out immediately, along with the muffled noise of people talking and dishes clinking.

“Inside,” he said, waving you all in. “Then we play twenty questions.”

Ellie shot him a glare but stepped forward anyway.

You followed behind them, your boots tracking wet snow across the wooden floor. The warmth inside hit your skin almost painfully after the cold outside. A few people glanced over when the door slammed shut behind Jesse, but most went back to their conversations. Jesse led the group toward a quieter corner of the room, near a small table pushed up against the wall.

“Alright,” he said, dropping into a chair. “Let’s hear it.”

Ellie immediately leaned against the wall, arms crossed, clearly hoping the conversation would somehow dissolve on its own.

She tilted her head slightly, studying your face like she was piecing together a puzzle.

“I knew Ellie from the Boston QZ. We grew up together until she left. I stayed for a while, then I also left. I lived in Seattle with a group, then we left because nowhere is stable enough to stay in for too long. We heard about a settlement, but my friends were killed by raiders a few towns back.”

The group nodded, looking between you and Ellie. Awkward silence lingered on the table until Jesse leaned back, his chair creaking against the wooden floor. "You missed the early days," he said, glancing at Ellie with a smirk. "When this one first got here, she was like a feral cat. I think she threatened to shoot me twice in the first week just for saying 'good morning'."

Dina laughed, a bright, genuine sound that felt out of place in a world that usually only knew silence or screams. She reached out and nudged Ellie’s shoulder. "Only twice? Jesse, you must have caught her on a good week. She nearly broke my nose during a snowball fight because I 'snuck up on her'."

Ellie rolled her eyes, but there was a softness in her expression that you didn't recognize. "I didn't know the rules of engagement for snow yet," she muttered, though a small, reluctant smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

You sat there, hands wrapped around a mug of lukewarm water just to feel the heat, and listened.

They talked about the time they’d spent a whole afternoon trying to fix a tractor that was clearly beyond saving, only for Tommy to walk over and fix it in five minutes with a single wrench. They talked about the dances in the gym, the local gossip about who was courting who, and the "Great Blueberry Incident" on a patrol two summers ago that ended with Jesse’s horse being stained purple for a month.

With every story, the gap between you and Ellie seemed to widen.

They knew the Ellie who liked to draw in the quiet of the library. They knew the Ellie who complained about the smell of the stables but always volunteered for the late shift anyway. They knew the Ellie who felt safe enough to laugh.

"She’s a different person when she’s out on the trail, though," Dina said, her voice softening as she looked at you. "The most capable scout we’ve got. I don't know what we’d do without her."

Ellie shifted, her shoes scuffing the floor. She wasn't looking at them; she was looking at you. She saw the way you were holding yourself, shoulders tight, eyes moving toward the exits every time a door slammed. She knew that look. It was the look of someone who was still looking over their shoulder, someone who hadn't slept in a real bed in years.

“You’re quiet,” Jesse noted, tilting his head. “Boston must’ve been a lifetime ago, huh?”

“It feels like it,” you said, your voice sounding raspy even to your own ears.

“Well, you’re here now,” Dina said. There was still a flicker of suspicion in her eyes. Dina was too smart to let it go entirely, but there was kindness there, too. “We take care of our own in Jackson.”

The word 'own' stung. You weren't one of them. You would never be one of them, no matter how much you yearned to be part of Ellie’s world again. You were just a ghost haunting a feast.

As they kept talking, their voices began to blur into a hum of domesticity. You watched the way Dina’s hand would occasionally brush Ellie’s arm, the way Jesse spoke with the easy confidence of a man who knew he had a home to go back to. They were sharing a life, while you were just sharing a lie.

The jealousy brewed in your stomach. It wasn't just that they had food and warmth; it was that they had her. They had the versions of Ellie that you had missed out on, the teenage years, the growing pains, the safety.

You were jealous. They spent all of these years with Ellie getting to know her better than you ever did. Jealousy was a green-eyed bitch gripping you by the throat.

Day 1

You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Sleep had been a stranger last night; your mind was stuck on an endless loop of Ellie.

How was it possible that she was here? How were you here? How was that possible? You could never return here even if you wanted to. You were set to kill a man from this same town. You would never be welcomed.

Would Ellie see past this?

Your mind spiraled for hours on end, until a knock at the front door broke you out of it. You peel yourself off the bed and head over to the door.

Opening the door, you let out a big yawn.

A man stood before you with a box filled with things. You furrow your eyebrows and say, “Um, Hello?”

“Mornin’ sweetheart, I’m Joel Miller…”

Joel Fucking Miller was standing at your front door. You didn't even have to go on a hunt for him. He came to you. You truly could not help but smirk.

“I’m sorry, I did not catch a word you said, Joel. I guess my brain is still asleep, but come on in. I’m Y/N.” You say opening the door wide enough to let him in.

Holy shit.

He shakes his head as he steps in, “Maria sent me over to bring you more clothes and personal hygiene things.”

“That is very sweet of you, Joel. I appreciate it. Let me invite you to a cup of coffee to thank you for bringing this over.” You say almost demanding. You needed him to stay longer to scope him out.

“You got coffee, kid?” He said, surprised.

“Yup. I traded for it a couple of towns back. It is my prized possession, but you seem worth it to share with.” You said you were heading towards your bags, which you dumped by the stairs last night, too tired to sort your things out.

You could not wrap your head around the fact that JOEL MILLER was standing in front of you. After a thousand miles of traveling, he just stood in front of you waiting for coffee.

This was the man who killed Abby’s dad in cold blood, and you were offering a cup of coffee.

Abby would not believe this. There's no way in hell that she would. You could already imagine the sheer disgust all over her face.

You take the kettle off the stove and pour him a cup. “Here you go. Careful, it's hot.” You say handing the mug over to Joel. His body immediately relaxes as the coffee touches his mouth.

“Wow. I haven’t had coffee in ages. Thank you.”

You give him a small nod as you sip from your own cup, examining him.

He was old, but still looked strong. Wrinkles adorned his face. He was too trusting. That was his fatal flaw. He came into the house without knowing you.

The two of you sit in silence, drinking coffee. It was oddly peaceful. You expected him to be hostile and cold. You expected a murderer, but he was just an old man trying to make it through life, finding joy in a cup of coffee. Maybe he was different back then. Maybe he is different now.

“I ought to head out. I have to patrol in about 30 minutes. I wish I could stay longer to enjoy this coffee, but I wanted to thank you.” He said, setting down his cup.

“Yeah, of course. Come back anytime, I’d be happy to share another cup of coffee with you.” You say, walking him towards the door.

You wave at him as he walks out the door.

Abby would be losing her shit.

—-

Your body craved to see Ellie. You wanted to take every bit of her in. You wanted to know all about the time you missed out on.

Your body ached to see Ellie again.

I wasn’t just a want. It was deeper than that. Something instinctive, like your skin, remembered her and needed to feel her touch again.

You wanted to memorize every inch of her all over again. The way she smiled, the way her eyes crinkled when she laughed.

The sound of her voice.

You have missed out on five years of her life.

Five years of stories you didn’t know, memories you were not a part of.

And the worst part of it all?

There wasn’t enough time to make up for it. You couldn’t stay to make up for the lost time.

You came here with a purpose. The purpose of being in and out. You had to go back to Abby.

Things between you and Abby were complicated and messy. Broken in ways neither of you has had the chance to figure out how to fix yet. But despite everything, despite the distance and the pain and the way your heart broke more and more when you were near her, you couldn’t bring yourself to hurt her. Let alone betray her.

There's no way you could. Not after everything you had been through together. The miles you traveled side by side. The years of friendship.

You couldn’t betray her because you loved her, despite everything.

Your fingers tightened around your mug as you continued to spiral.

You needed a plan for this. You walked in here with no plans other than ‘lure Joel out in 3 days.’ Who in their right mind would agree to this with no plan?

If you did lure Joel out, would the people of Jackson ever find out?

Could you disappear before anyone realized what happened?

Could you get away with it?

Could you still have Ellie after?

If she were to find out, would she look at you differently?

You shut your eyes tightly. Why did Ellie have to be here?

But before you could dwell on Ellie for too long, Abby pushed her way into your mind.

Could you forget about Abby?

You hated this. You hated how tangled everything had become and how every choice seemed impossible.

The more logical choice was to continue with the mission as planned, forget about Ellie. You have lived five years without her. You have a good life in Seattle. You have friends. You have a role in your life in Seattle. You have Abby.

A sudden, frantic pounding slammed against the front door, ripping you out of your thoughts.

“Y/N! OPEN THE DOOR!”

Ellie.

You shot up from your chair so fast the legs scraped harshly against the floor.

Your heart was pounding against your chest.

Ellie stood outside the door like a storm ready to break through it.

Truth was, she had barely slept. She was too excited to see you again.

The entire night, she tossed and turned, staring up at the ceiling, your face burned into her mind.

You were here. In Jackson. After five years.

After five years of wondering what had become of you. Five years of thinking she would never see your face again. And now, you have appeared here, in her home.

She couldn’t waste another second.

She lifted her hand to pound on the door again, “Y/N!!”

You rushed across the room and yanked the door open just before she could knock again.

“Ellie, what the hell?” you said breathlessly. “You’re gonna break the damn door down.”

Ellie barely hears what you say to her. The moment the door opened, her eyes landed on you, and everything else disappeared. She stood there and took you in.

Her eyes lit up like someone had struck a match inside them. You were beautiful, even more than she remembered.

Her stomach twisted as a wave of embarrassment hit her. How the hell had she not recognized you yesterday?

“You’re real,” she muttered under her breath, almost like she didn't believe it.

You let out a small chuckle.

She was still the same girl from Boston. Still impatient. Still intense. Still bursting with too much emotion to contain.

God, you missed her.

Five years. Five entire years of her life you hadn’t been there for.

How were you supposed to spend the next couple of days with her knowing the truth?

Knowing you were here to drag Joel Miller out and end his life?

How were you supposed to laugh with her?

Talk with her?

Share stories?

Pretend everything is normal?

And even if you could forget your purpose of being here, even for a moment, how could five years of lost time ever fit into three days?

Your chest tightened again.

You knew the reality. You weren’t stupid enough to believe this stupid fantasy.

Once Joel was dead, this fantasy would be over.

Ellie.

Jackson. All of it would be over.

You would return to Seattle and be forced to forget about this.

“Come on,” Ellie said suddenly, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Get your stuff and let’s go.”

“What?”

“We’ve got five years to catch up,” she said. “And I’m not wasting another second standing around.”

You laugh and run to throw on your coat, hat, and gloves.

“Where are you taking me, Williams?” you ask.

“I want to show you around Jackson,” Ellie said as she grabbed your wrist and started pulling you down the steps. “There is something I really want you to see.”

You laughed softly and followed her.

Jackson unfolded around you like something out of a dream.

People moved through the streets with easy smiles. Kids chased each other between buildings. Someone was chopping wood nearby while a pair of horses clopped slowly down the road.

Peace.

Real peace.

It almost made your stomach twist.

None of them suspected a thing. No one here could possibly imagine that the stranger walking through their town was here to hunt one of their own.

Your eyes drifted across the streets of Jackson as you walked beside Ellie. The place was beautiful. Safe in a way, the world outside the walls simply wasn’t.

You wondered what your life might have looked like if you had ended up here with Ellie instead of Seattle all those years ago.

The two of you walked in silence for a while.

Ellie didn’t rush you.

She remembered exactly what it felt like arriving in Jackson for the first time. The noise, the people, and the overwhelming sense that life was somehow normal here.

So for a few more moments, she let you take it all in before she disturbed the silence. “You remember that silly little stuffed bunny you used to carry around everywhere?”

“Oh my god, Mr. Fluffington?” you ask.

Ellie laughed, “You gave him such a stupid name. That ugly thing.”

“Hey!” you protested, nudging her shoulder, “His name wasn’t stupid, and he was NOT ugly.”

“He was missing an eye, and he was filthy.”

“It gave him character.”

“You used to do everything with that thing,” she began, “I remember you refused to do anything without that thing.”

“I have had him since I was four. I loved him,” you say, smiling at her.

“Yeah, well,” Ellie continued, rubbing the back of her neck, “I hated that bunny.”

“Ellie, seriously, a stuffed animal that was older than both of us? Hating a stuffed animal is crazy.”

“You loved it more than me!”

You barked out a laugh, “No, that’s not true. I did not.”

“It was true to twelve-year-old me,” she says defensively.

“Is that why you got him confiscated?” You ask

“Don’t start.” Ellie laughed

“What! You got him taken away!”

“In my defense, I didn’t know the guards were going to search us!”

“You waved it in their faces!”

“I did not!”

You rolled your eyes.

“You were so mad at me,” Ellie said.

“You got my favorite thing taken away, Williams. I remember I cried for DAYS, and when I finally got over the sadness, the anger settled in, and I hid your Walkman for a month,” you admit.

Ellie stopped in her tracks and looked straight at you.

“It was you?! You evil person! I searched everywhere for it. I was so miserable without music! I cannot believe you!”

“Mr. Fluffington was my prized possession, so it was only right to take yours. I gave it back anyway.”

“I actually tried to replace him,” she admitted

Your eyes flicked towards her.

“What?”

Ellie gestured toward a small building up ahead.

“When I first got here, Maria made me take a sewing class. Said everyone had to learn something useful.”

You stared at her. “So you took up sewing?”

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up.”

You really tried to hide your smile, but you could not stop imagining Ellie Williams sewing.

“My first project was…” she paused, pushing open the door in front of you, “this.”

The room inside smelled faintly of fabric and thread. Tables scattered around with scraps of cloth, spools of string, and half-finished projects.

Ellie walked over to a small wooden shelf and picked something up before turning back toward you.

In her hand was a stuffed bunny.

Your breath caught.

He wasn’t identical; he was a patchwork bunny made up of different shades of blue.

Same floppy ears.

Same pink stitched nose.

Same missing eye.

You stared at it, completely in disbelief.

Ellie shifted awkwardly under your gaze.

“I made it the first week I got here,” she whispered. “I missed you so badly. I figured… if I couldn’t give you the old one back…”

She shrugged, her eyes glued to the floor.

“...maybe I could make a new one.”

Your chest tightened painfully.

“Really, he lives at home with me, but I brought him here for the dramatics,” she began, “I kept him close because it made me feel like you were still somewhere close to me.”

You didn't realize you stepped closer until you were standing right in front of her. Your fingers brushed the fabric gently, almost afraid that if you touched him, he would fade away.

Tears gathered in your eyes.

You weren’t sure what to do. You didn't know if you wanted to cry, or thank her, or hug her. Or tell her how much this meant to you that she carried a piece of you through all these years.

But somehow, you were just frozen.

“Oh, Ellie…” you whisper.

“Take it,” she said, shoving the bunny into your hands.

You look down at the bunny in your hands, then back up at Ellie, before pulling her into a tight hug.

“Thank you, Ellie.”

Ellie wrapped her arms around you and hugged you tightly.

You let go first, standing there awkwardly.

“Alright,” she said, clearing her throat. “Next stop.”

You followed her back outside, still holding the bunny.

Soon, the two of you arrived at a small garage on the edge of the street.

You looked up at it and immediately snorted.

“It’s so typical of you to live in a garage, Ellie.”

She groaned.

“Oh my god, shut up.”

She pushed the door open and gestured dramatically.

“Welcome to my humble abode.”

The moment you stepped inside, you couldn’t help smiling.

It was so Ellie.

Posters covered the walls. Drawings were taped up everywhere. Old records were stacked beside a small turntable. Books, comics, and random junk filled every surface.

Messy.

Creative.

Alive.

It looked exactly like the room of the fourteen-year-old girl you remembered… She just happened to grow up a little.

Ellie started to say something, probably beginning a tour, but you were already wandering around the room, inspecting everything.

Your eyes landed on photographs pinned to the wall.

Ellie and other people. You assumed her friends.

Laughing.

Smiling.

Living.

Jealousy crept into your chest before you could stop it.

You had missed all of this.

You missed out on so much. She was here, building a life, experiencing peace and happiness.

Your gaze stopped on one photo in particular.

A girl sat on a chair while holding a tattoo gun, concentrating carefully.

She was pretty, but not really Ellie’s type.

“Who’s that?” you asked, pointing.

Ellie glanced over.

“Oh. Cat. She’s my ex.”

You looked back at the photo, inspecting it more closely. Her ex. You tried to be happy that she lived a life where she could say that she had an ex, but God, you were pissed that another girl got the opportunity to love her.

It was selfish because you also had your handful of flings back home, but you couldn’t help but feel this way.

“She’s pretty cool,” Ellie added. “You’d probably like her.”

You hummed noncommittally and continued wandering. Your fingers brushed over sketches taped to the wall before stopping on something that made your chest ache.

A worn photograph of the two of you.

You traced the edge of it gently. She kept it after all of these years, the last gift you gave her in Boston.

“I dreamt about this,” Ellie said quietly behind you.

You turned slightly.

“About what?”

“Seeing you again.”

Her voice had lost its usual teasing edge.

“I’m sorry I left you behind,” she said softly. “If I had known… if I had even imagined what would happen…”

Her voice faltered.

“I would’ve fought harder to bring you with me.”

You looked at her for a moment.

“I know.”

And you did.

Ellie had been a kid. She had no choice in the decisions of the adults around her. She was just a kid.

You moved over to the couch and dropped down into it.

A stack of comic books sat on the coffee table.

Your eyes widened immediately.

“No fucking way.”

You grabbed one and started flipping through it.

“You have the whole collection?”

Ellie leaned against the couch, looking smug.

“How the hell did you manage that?” you continued, scanning the covers. “These are impossible to find!”

“Dina and I found them in an old bookstore a couple towns over,” she said. “You can borrow them if you want.”

You flipped another page, shaking your head in disbelief.

“These are Abby’s favorites,” you muttered.

Ellie straightened slightly. “Who’s Abby?”

The air in the room seemed to freeze. Your heart dropped straight into your stomach, and your skin went cold.

How fucking stupid could you possibly be?

You forced your expression to stay neutral.

“She… was my friend,” you said carefully.

Your fingers tightened slightly around the comic book.

“She was one of the people who died.”

Ellie watched you carefully. Most people wouldn't have noticed it. The tiny shift in your demeanor. Barely there, but Ellie noticed. Your eyebrow twitched for half a second, and your thumb rubbed against the side of your index finger. The same nervous habit you had since you were a kid.

There it was, you were lying.

Ellie tilted her head slightly, “Tell me about her.”

Maybe if she kept you talking long enough, she would catch you slipping up.

This couldn’t possibly be happening.

Yeah, Ellie, my dead friend Abby is actually very much alive, sitting up in the lodge right now waiting for me to deliver the man who killed her dad.

“I met her in Seattle,” you began. “About 3 or 4 years ago.”

Your eyes drifted back down to the comic book in your hands.

“I was trying to steal supplies from the settlement she was at. Whatever I could get my hands on, but I was specifically looking for guns, ammo, and medical supplies.”

Ellie listened attentively to your story.

“As I had gotten to their medical base, I got caught.”

You could still remember the fear you felt. The floodlights and the rifles aimed at your chest. Isaac stood there watching you like you were some kind of interesting creature.

“They have a rule there to shoot to kill, but they took an interest in me almost immediately. I had managed to sneak through three guard rotations and nearly got away with a third of their armory before I was caught.”

You continue.

“I was assigned to be roommates with Abby, and her group of friends took me in almost immediately.”

You learned back slightly, finally looking up at Ellie.

“You just told me how you got caught, you didn’t actually tell me anything about Abby you know.” Ellie said, taking a seat across from you.

You sigh and slump on the couch.

“Ellie please no…”You begin

“C’mon, I can tell she meant a lot to you.”

You release the air you had been holding in and begin, “She was my best friend, Els, I loved her very deeply.”

6 Months Ago

“Abigail…this is beautiful.”

Your voice echoed softly through the massive room as you stepped beneath enormous whales suspended from the ceiling. Their bodies stretched high above you.

You slowly spun in a circle, staring up in disbelief.

“Jesus..” you murmured. “To think those things are actually swimming around somewhere… that shit is terrifying.”

Behind you, Abby leaned against the doorway with her arms crossed, watching your reaction carefully. A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

“You think this is impressive?” she asked. “This is nothing. Just wait.”

Her boots echoed across the floor as she pushed off the wall and grabbed your wrist. She dragged you down the hallway before you could even protest. You stumbled after her until she stopped in front of a faded sign that read Max’s Place.

The room was covered floor to ceiling with paintings. Bright colors, messy brushstrokes depicting sea life.

You walked closer to a painting of a dolphin. “Wow, they were talented.”

You slowly walk down the hallways, admiring each painting.

“Let’s go,” Abby said, dragging you by the wrist.

“No, hold on,” you protest, pointing at another painting. “Look at that one! The colors on this–”

“Y/N.”

You turn your attention to her.

Abby jerked her head toward a ladder in the corner.

“You can admire the art later.”

You stared at the ladder.

Then at her.

Then back at the ladder.

“…Are you planning on killing me?”

Abby blinked twice in confusion, “What?”

“You are luring me into a dark basement with a ladder,” you begin, slowly backing away. “That is exactly how people die.”

Abby makes a face at you, which almost makes you laugh, but the fear clings to your stomach. There was no way you were going down that death trap. No way in hell.

“Are you serious right now?”

“I am your best friend, Abigail,” you say, “It would be awfully rude to murder me.”

She shook her head at you in annoyance.

“You trust me, right?”

You hummed thoughtfully, tilting your head like you were genuinely thinking about it.

“Hmmmmm…no,” you joke, smirking at her.

Abby glares at you before extending her hand, “Please, for me.”

You rolled your eyes dramatically before reluctantly taking her hand. Your favorite pass time was to give Abby a hard time.

“Fine,” you say. “But if I die, I’m haunting you.”

“Good,” Abby replied as she started climbing down the ladder. “At least then you’ll finally be quiet.”

You scoffed and began to descend.

“Are you excited for your surprise?” Abby asked.

“Nope.”

“Such a buzzkill.”

“Shut up,” you muttered. “You love me.”

There was a small pause.

“...Debatable,” Abby replied.

After what seemed like an eternity of climbing down the ladder, your feet finally touched the ground again.

A dim hallway stretched ahead, lit by soft blue lights. Small water tanks lined the walls, fish drifting lazily behind glass panels. Painting filled the spaces without tanks. Your eyes flew all over the place.

“Seriously?” You groan, approaching the cardboard castle.

“Do you ever wait before you judge?” Abby asked before stepping through the castle.

“Abigail…” you begin as you follow her through the castle. The moment you stepped inside, you froze.

Light filtered through massive sheets of water surrounding the room. The blue glow shimmered across the walls like sunlight beneath the ocean.

Your jaw dropped.

“Oh, my god…”

You rushed forward and pressed your hands against the glass.

Schools of fish drifted past slowly.

“This is insane,” you whispered.

Behind you, Abby barely looked at the tanks. She was watching you. Watching the way your face lit up every time another fish swam by.

“You’ve been miserable lately,” she said quietly.

You glanced back at her.

“Figured you deserved something… nice.”

Your chest tightened slightly. You smiled at her, but before you could respond, Abby pointed ahead.

“There he is, look,” Abby said.

You leaned closer. A seal suddenly darted across the glass, twisting playfully through the water before stopping right in front of you.

You gasped.

“No way.”

The seal spun in a circle like it was showing off.

You laughed.

“You’re such a showoff,” you said.

Behind you, Abby stepped closer. Without thinking, she rested her chin on your shoulder. Her breath warmed the side of your neck. Naturally, your body relaxed instantly against her. You tilted your head slightly until it rested against hers.

“Abigail, this is just… amazing… Thank you.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke.

“So…Do you forgive me for making you get in the water?” Abby asked quietly, knowing exactly what your answer would be. You had kicked and screamed the whole way because you absolutely hated swimming. You were terrified, but somehow she convinced you to do it.

You turned slowly to face her.

“Absolutely not, I could’ve drowned,” you said flatly,“Or even worse, I could’ve been swallowed by a whale.”

She throws her head back as a laugh is released deep from her belly. It was like music to your ears. This version of Abby was your favorite. Seeing her this happy was enough to keep you going. However, as her laughter died down, the look of happiness on her face was replaced witha rather serious one.

“Owen thinks we might have a lead on Joel,” she said.

Your stomach sank.

“He’s close,” Abby continued quietly. “I know it.”

Her jaw tightened.

“I have to avenge my dad.”

You rubbed the back of your neck.

“This is your revenge, not mine. I…I don’t care about the old man, but I care about you. You know I would follow you to the ends of the earth, Abigail.” you said carefully.

You hated talking about Joel. You hated listening to Abby’s voice crack. You hated the facade she put on for Owen to cover up her pain. You hated the tears gathering in her eyes. You hated all of it. You didn’t care to kill the man. You cared about her. You always found yourself walking out of the room anytime she discussed it.

She didn’t understand why you hated talking about it, but she knew you’d follow her anywhere. She quickly changed the subject, not wanting the tension to linger for much longer.

“I still don’t understand why you insist on calling me Abigail,” Abby muttered.

You smirked.

“It’s your name. Is it not?” you asked, stepping closer to her. Your faces are now inches apart. Her blue eyes searching yours.

“Yes,” she whispered.

Her gaze dropped to your lips.

Then back to your eyes.

You took her hands gently in yours, closing the gap between your bodies. You felt lucky to even be in her presence. To be here with her hand in yours. Your pulse hammered in your ears.

Then you kissed her.

Abby froze.

For a heartbeat, she didn’t move.

Then she kissed you back.

Soft.

Careful.

Like she was testing something she didn’t understand.

Then suddenly she shoved you away.

You stumbled backward, slamming lightly into the glass.

Your eyes widened.

Abby stood frozen, breathing hard.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted immediately. Panic flooded your chest.

“I shouldn’t have—”

“I don’t like girls,” Abby said quickly.

Her voice shook.

“I’m with Owen.”

She ran a hand through her hair.

“I have to go.”

“Abby—”

But she was already walking away from you. Your stomach dropped at the sight of it.

“Abigail, wait!”

You chased after her. Your boots pounded against the hallway floor as you caught up to her.

“Abby, please just listen—”

Abby walked faster at the sound of your voice behind her.

“I’m sorry,” you said breathlessly.

“I didn’t mean to make things weird, I just thought—”

“You thought wrong,” Abby snapped.

You finally caught up to her, and you grabbed her arm.

“Abby, please—”

She jerked away from you like your touch burned.

“Stop.”

The word came out sharp.

Your chest tightened.

“I didn’t mean to—”

“I said stop,” Abby said again, refusing to look at you.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered desperately.

“I thought you felt it too.”

Abby finally turned around.

Her face was flushed with confusion and anger.

“Well, I don’t. And you know I’m with Owen,” she said quickly.

The words felt like a punch to the chest.

Your throat tightened.

“I’m sorry,” you said again, your voice breaking slightly.

“I just… misread everything.”

Abby looked away.

She couldn’t even look at you.

“I have training,” she muttered.

Abby began her climb up the ladder in utter confusion. She had never felt anything like that with Owen. Electricity raced through her veins as your soft lips kissed hers, but it wasn’t right. This isn’t how you feel about your best friend. This isn’t how things were supposed to happen. Abby is always in control.

You stood there frozen in the hallway watching her disappear up the ladder.

A quiet sob escaped your throat.

You dragged a hand down your face.

“God…” you muttered. “I’m such an idiot.”

Back inside the aquarium room, you slowly walked back toward the glass.

Fish drifted lazily through the water, completely unaware of what had just happened. Blissfully swimming as if you had not ruined everything.

You leaned your forehead against the cool glass.

“I wish I were one of you,” you whispered.

Because fish didn’t ruin the only good thing they had.

Present Time

“Then she died, and we never got to resolve anything,” you say, clearing your throat. You left out the Joel part, but kept the integrity of the story.

“Do you regret any of it?”

You regretted a lot of things in your life, but kissing Abby was not one of them. You regret closing off. You regret pushing her away, but that kiss… no way.

“No, I’d do it again.”

This was the first time since your arrival in Jackson that Ellie had seen your guard down. The softness to your face returned as you spoke about Abby. Your entire body relaxed. Whoever this woman was, she must’ve mattered to you.

You wanted to stop talking about Abby as soon as possible. You didn’t want to think about her around Ellie. They were two separate parts of your life, and you would like to keep it that way.

“Tell me about you, Ellie. What happened to the cure?”

Before she had the opportunity to speak, a light knock interrupted her.

She stood and walked to the door. When she opened it, Joel stood on the porch.

“Hey, kiddo, just makin’ sure you’re alright,” he said warmly, pulling her into a quick hug.

The word kiddo echoed in your mind.

Kiddo.

What the fuck was going on?

Ellie looked completely relaxed, smiling easily as she stepped aside to let him into the room, as if this were the most natural thing in the world. But it couldn’t possibly be… right?

“Joel, I want you to meet someone very special to me,” She said, motioning him further inside. “Okay, Joel, this is Y/N Y/L, my best friend from the Boston QZ. Y/N, This is Joel Miller, he’s the man who smuggled me out of the QZ, he’s been like my father since.”

For a moment, everything inside the room froze. The world seemed to tilt slightly beneath your feet, the ground suddenly unstable in a way that made your stomach lurch.

Your heart slammed violently against your ribs at a speed you had never felt before.

Your hands began to tremble at your sides. At first it was subtle, just the faintest tremble in your fingers, then the longer you stood there it became worse. Your muscles felt tight, coiled too tightly beneath your skin, like they were waiting for something terrible to happen.

Joel and Ellie stood only a few feet away, but their faces began to blur together as your vision slowly tunneled inward. The edges of the room faded first, then the details. Their expressions smeared into vague shapes, their voices becoming slightly muffled beneath the sound of blood rushing violently through your ears.

No.

No way this was possible.

This man can’t be the same man you are destined to lead to his death.

Your lungs suddenly forgot how to work. You tried to breathe in, but the air felt thin, like it wasn’t filling your chest the way it should. You inhaled again, deeper this time, but the breath caught halfway down, leaving your chest tight and aching.

You needed to get out of this house before the pressure inside your chest tore you apart, but your legs refused to move.

You just stood there, rooted to the floor, while your mind scrambled desperately to make sense of the situation unfolding in front of you.

Ellie.

Joel.

Abby.

The names collided violently in your head.

On one end was Ellie. Ellie, who you had just reunited with after years apart. The girl who had once been your entire world inside the Boston QZ. Seeing her again had felt like finding a piece of yourself you didn’t realize had gone missing.

And somehow, Joel is her family.

Her father.

Your stomach twisted so violently you thought you might actually be sick.

On the other side of this impossible equation was Abby. Up until a few months ago, she was your best friend, and despite the complicated mess of feelings you had buried deep inside your chest, she was still a very important person in your life. She had taken you in when you had nowhere else to go. She had fought beside you. She put her trust in you to complete this mission.

This morning, everything was simple. Simple enough that you still knew how to breathe. Joel had just been a name. Just another man. Joel was the name of the man who murdered Abby’s dad. In your mind, Joel was just another target that you could kill at any given moment. But now, everything has changed. He wasn’t just another target; he was Ellie’s father.

Your pulse pounded louder and louder in your ears until it drowned out the rest of the room. Each heartbeat thudded painfully against your ribs, sending waves of heat and dizziness through your body.

You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment, trying to steady the storm building inside your chest. Your fingers curled tightly into your palms, nails biting into your skin as you forced yourself to take another breath.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

Your lungs still refused to cooperate.

When you opened your eyes again, both of them were looking at you.

You forced your lips into something that resembled a smile, though it felt stiff and unnatural on your face.

“We actually met this morning,” you said, your voice sounding distant even to your own ears. “We shared a cup of coffee, actually. Can I actually ask you a question?”

He nods.

“What happened to the cure?”

Joel’s posture stiffened instantly.

You saw the flash of panic cross his face.

“She knows, Joel,” Ellie said quickly, glancing between the two of you. “I told her before I left the QZ.”

“There was no cure,” he said calmly. “They were gonna kill Ellie with no certainty it’d work.”

No cure.

He saved her.

He fucking saved her.

You forced out a small laugh before the silence could stretch too long.

“I’m glad you’re not dead, Ellie.”

Both of them laughed softly. The sound felt surreal, like it was happening far away instead of right in front of you.

“I hate to leave,” you added quickly, already stepping backward toward the door. “But I’m really tired. Didn’t catch much sleep last night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You didn’t give either of them the chance to respond.

The second you stepped outside, your legs carried you across town almost without your permission. Your movements were fast, frantic, like your body had finally caught up with the panic your mind had been screaming about for the last several minutes.

You shoved your way into the empty house and slammed the door shut behind you, twisting the lock with shaking hands.

Silence filled the room.

And then in a matter of seconds everything collapsed.

He saved Ellie.

He fucking saved her.

Your hands dragged down your face as you paced the small living room, breath coming too fast. Abby’s dad had been a doctor. He was the doctor who had been ready to cut Ellie open to make a cure.

And Joel killed him.

Abby never told you about the cure.

She had mentioned her dad was a doctor, but never mentioned he was the doctor who was supposed to make the cure. Maybe she didn’t know. She wouldn’t hold something so important from you.

Your mind felt like it was splitting apart, trying to hold the pieces together. How were you expected to finish this mission considering these new facts? He saved her, but he also destroyed Abby’s whole world.

You stopped pacing, staring blankly at the opposite wall.

Joel is no one to you.

The thought came out cold, sharp, like the voice of a commanding officer barking an order.

Just a target.

Just a man.

Your jaw tightened.

Ellie… Ellie was different. She had been an old friend once. Someone from another lifetime. You barely even knew her now. Years had passed. People changed. You told yourself that had to mean something.

But Abby…

Your chest tightened.

Abby was the one who mattered now.

She had taken you in when you had nothing. Give you a place to sleep, a place to fight, a place to belong. She had cared for you even when she didn’t realize how deeply you cared for her in return, even when she crushed your heart without meaning to.

For years, she had been your family.

But Ellie…

Ellie felt like coming home after a long day. Like quiet after chaos. Like the world finally exhaling.

Ellie was peace.

Ellie was the person you had spent years searching for without even realizing it.

Your breathing grew uneven again.

“No,” you muttered under your breath, pressing your palms against your temples. “Stop. Stop it.”

Think like a soldier.

You forced your shoulders back, trying to summon the discipline that had been drilled into you for years.

Assess the mission.

Identify the objective.

Complete the task.

Simple.

Except it wasn’t.

You can’t leave Abby. You can’t betray her.

But the next thought followed right behind it like a knife sliding between your ribs.

You can’t hurt Ellie either.

You knew exactly what that kind of pain looked like.

You had seen it in Abby’s eyes for years. The hollow rage that never fully left. The grief that had rotted into obsession.

Ellie would break the same way.

Your mind started looping again.

Abby or Ellie.

Ellie or Abby.

Back and forth. Back and forth.

The room suddenly felt smaller. The walls crept inward inch by inch, like the house itself was trying to swallow you whole. Your chest tightened until it hurt to breathe. You dragged a hand through your hair, pacing again before the energy inside you exploded.

“Get a grip,” you snapped at yourself. Your voice sounded harsh in the empty room.

Pathetic.

You were trained for worse than this. You had survived fights, infected hordes, patrols that lasted days in freezing weather. You had watched people die without flinching. And now you were unraveling over a decision.

“Think,” you whispered, voice trembling despite the command.

Running away crept into your mind like a dangerous little whisper.

You could leave. Just disappear. Walk away from Seattle. Walk away from Abby. Walk away from Ellie. Leave the whole nightmare behind and never look back.

No mission.

No choices.

No blood.

Your stomach twisted.

You’d be a coward.

The word settled heavily in your chest. Every option was awful. Every path ended with someone getting hurt. You wanted to scream. Wanted to flip the table, smash something against the wall, tear the frustration out of your body before it suffocated you. Instead, you collapsed onto the couch. The cushions swallowed you as if they were determined to keep you there. Your hands clenched in the fabric as your breathing stuttered again.

Move.

Your body didn’t listen. You were frozen. Trapped inside your own head while the same two names circled endlessly.

Abby.

Ellie.

Abby.

Ellie.

And no matter how many times you forced yourself to think like a soldier, your heart kept getting in the way.

You sat on the couch for nearly an hour, swallowed by the chaos in your mind. Thoughts tangled over one another until they were impossible to separate. Abby. Ellie. Joel. The mission. Every path twisted into another impossible decision.

A loud knock at the door finally yanked you back to reality.

You blinked, disoriented, before pushing yourself off the couch and walking to the door. When you opened it, Ellie stood there with a familiar, playful look in her eyes. The kind that usually meant trouble.

“What’s up?” you asked.

“You’re coming over to my place, and we’re having a sleepover,” she said matter-of-factly. “You practically ran out earlier, and I have so much to catch up on. It’ll be fun. Like old times.”

A laugh escaped you before you could stop it.

Growing up, Ellie had always insisted on sleepovers even when the two of you shared the same room. She claimed it made the night “official.” Those nights usually meant blasting music, dancing until your legs gave out, and eventually collapsing into the same bed where you’d talk for hours until one of you drifted off mid-sentence.

“Let’s do it,” you said. You hurried inside to grab something to sleep in. More than anything, you just needed to get out of the house. Needed your mind to stop spinning long enough to breathe.

The two of you walked to Ellie’s place together, both of you strangely excited, like kids sneaking out past curfew.

The second you stepped through her door, Ellie rushed toward the small record player in the corner. Music crackled to life through the speakers.

“Come on,” she said, grabbing your hand. “Let’s dance!”

You barely had time to protest before she pulled you into the middle of the room. Soon enough, you were both moving like maniacs, spinning and stumbling through the space, laughing as the music filled every corner of the house.

Ellie watched you as you danced, carefree and wild like you used to be.

Since arriving in Jackson, something inside her had always felt incomplete. Like a missing puzzle piece, she couldn’t quite name.

Watching you now, hair flying, laughing without restraint, she finally understood what it was.

It was you.

All those years apart had left a space in her life that nothing else had filled. And now you were here again, dancing in her living room like the past had somehow found its way back.

It was you and Ellie against the world again.

You were completely lost in the music. Your feet moved on instinct, like they remembered the rhythm before your brain did. Growing up, dancing had always been your escape. Whenever life felt too heavy, you let the music carry the weight for you.

Eventually, the song ended, and you collapsed onto the couch with a dramatic groan.

“Geez, I’m exhausted.”

Ellie flopped down beside you, breathing just as hard.

“Come on,” she said after a moment. “Let’s end the night like old times.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Ellie… we’re a little too old to be sharing a bed.”

“I don’t care,” she said immediately, already grabbing your wrist and pulling you upright. “Come on.”

You laughed as she dragged you toward her bed.

Despite yourself, your stomach fluttered nervously. Like you were fourteen again and suddenly hyperaware of everything Ellie did.

Ellie jumped into bed first, immediately patting the space beside her.

“Get in here.”

You let out a quiet laugh before sliding under the covers next to her.

“I missed you so much,” Ellie said softly, reaching for your hand.

“I missed you, too, El.”

Your thumb traced along the tattoo on her forearm. Beneath the ink, you could feel the raised scar hidden underneath.

The two of you shifted onto your sides so you were facing each other.

“I’m really sorry for not recognizing you earlier,” Ellie said quietly. “You just… you’ve changed. Your face shows everything you’ve been through.”

She hesitated, fumbling over her words.

“I’m not saying you’re not beautiful or anything. You just… you know.”

You huffed a small laugh.

“I was so angry, El,” you admitted. “I recognized you right away, and you didn’t recognize me. It hurt. I spent years thinking about you, and it felt like you forgot about me the second you got here.”

Ellie’s eyes dropped to your arms as she traced her fingers slowly up and down your skin.

“I didn’t forget about you,” she murmured. “But what matters is you’re here now. We’re together again.”

Her voice wavered slightly, and she blinked quickly as tears gathered in her eyes. The moment felt almost unreal. You were lying in her bed like you used to, close enough to hear each other breathe.

You were actually here.

“I’m glad we’re together again, El,” you said quietly.

She hummed softly and scooted a little closer, closing the gap between you. Now she was only inches away. It felt surreal to be lying in bed with Ellie Williams again. For years, you had convinced yourself she would become nothing more than a distant memory.

But she was real.

Alive.

Healthy.

Happy.

That was all you had ever wanted for her growing up.

You tried to hold onto the moment, to stay present in it. But your thoughts kept drifting back to Abby. To the mission. To the impossible choice waiting for you.

The walls in your chest started tightening again. Before the silence could swallow you, Ellie spoke.

“You wanna hear a joke?”

“No,” you replied immediately.

She narrowed her eyes at you. “Too bad.”

You sighed.

“Diarrhea is hereditary…”

You frowned. “What?”

“Because it runs in your genes.”

You clamped your hands over your mouth, trying to contain the laugh that burst out anyway.

“That was awful, El.”

“Not as awful as you,” she whispered.

Her face moved closer to yours.