✰ celestial ✰

indie lucy heartfilia! (under construction atm!)

[jionarle]

“ I’m damaged. ” // I ran out of asks on my acc sOBS

misc. angst. // sentences .

She stared hard at him, brown eyes studying him intently. 

They didn’t talk much. Their interactions limited to Erza. Lucy didn’tknow Jellal very well but she had a feeling that he had an old sort of soul. Aperson who’s shoulders seemed to be weighed down by the world. She would be the last person tounderstand him and she was afraid that this would result in terrible advice.

          “…I don’t know if I’m the person you want to hear this from,Jellal…but…” She hesitated unsure of how to continue the sentence. “…but you shouldn’tlet that stop you from healing. I think we’ve all got that in common, don’t youthink? At Fairy Tail? We’ve all been damaged in some way but we all have ourfriends, too. To help us.”

Her friends were there to hold her together when all she felt that she could do was fall apart. Without them, she would be nothing. This much she knew. “You don’t have to do this alone, Jellal. Just look around you. We’re all here to support you! So don’t forget that, okay?”

[jionarle]

“ What do you want from me, Princess ? ”

misc. angst. // sentences .

          …maybe not get calledprincess for once? It sounded like an insult when it left Minerva’s lips.The derision was palpable and it felt like a hit every time that weighed downtheir admittedly limited interactions. There were a few – and a very select few at that – who hadthe permission to call her princess. From them it sounded light-hearted. Moreof a cute nickname than one that was designed to draw attention to her perceived shortcomings. Spoiled; bratty; naive; ignorant. 

          “N-nothing!” she said quickly, nervously waving her handsaround, unable to quite meet Minerva’s eyes. There was a different sort of fearthat rushed through Lucy’s veins. Not the sort of fear that Lucy had felt when first pitted against Minerva in the games. The kind that resulted from Lucy’s own shortcomings and the knowledge that her failure might be inevitable. This was a different sort of helplessness. She was not afraid of what Minerva was capable of doing but afraid of what she could say to Minerva that could possibly hurt them both.

          “I don’t want anything from you, Minerva...” she repeated,trying to add some steel in her voice. It was difficult and there was stillsome tremble to it. She hated it. This feeling of being pathetic and being made smaller as a result.Minerva had done nothing! Just asked an honest question and here was Lucy,falling apart.

Lucy knew what she wanted was selfish and she hated it. This wasn’t who she was but that need in her to befriend Minerva—was that really selflessor was it because she could not bear knowing that someone did not see her in apositive light? That someone disliked her? It was the inability to make this distinction that made Lucyhesitate. She wanted her intentions to be sincere and would hate to approachMinerva with anything less. Neither of them deserved a half-bakedfriendship.

Not to mention maybe Minerva wanted nothing from her. Thatwas also a possibility and a fair one at that. Lucy peeked through her bangs at the other woman, herlips parted before firmly closing. Let itgo, Lucy. You don’t really have to be friends with EVERYONE. Why was thatso difficult to accept?  

[jionarle]

“ I just wanna feel something. ” klHDKJLDHLjhldjhldjkhLJKDHJLD FROM VIRUINE ^_^

misc. angst. // sentences . 

          “…Gray…?” Shesounded confused but there was no absence of concern in her voice. Herinstincts urged her to grab onto him and who was she to deny someone who was so in need of comfort? Tentative hands reached out and grasped Gray’s in a firm yet gentlehold.

She wanted to help. She wanted to help so badly that it hurt. It was a physical pain that struck her rightin the heart, weighing her down. Her own feelings were too heavy for her to manage.She felt too much and here Gray was telling her that he wasn’t feeling enough.Something about those particular words made her eyes burn but she refused tocry because in this very moment, what would that accomplish? 

          “I’m…Gray, listen. I’m…I’m really glad! I’m really glad youtold me of all people and…” She sigheddeeply, suddenly dropping her gaze to their hands. Her thumbs were absently rubbingcircles on the back of his hands. These were the times she wished that she was morelike her mother. She could still clearly remember all the times that her motherhad comforted her and her mother’s particular affinity for it. How strong her mother appeareddespite being bedridden. That was the kind of strength that Lucy wanted toembody for Gray. She wanted to be someone that he could confide in withoutfearing that it would be too much for her!

          “You can tell me anything, you know? Anything—it…it doesn’tmatter what it is! I’ll listen. I’m a good listener! You know that! So…so don’thesitate, okay?” Don’t be a stranger.

She winced at the rushed pace her words left her due to her nervousness. She was holding on tighter to his hands,hoping to give him reassurance and maybe to get some herself.

          “…and Gray? I know you,don’t I? And…I don’t think that you don’tfeel things. I think you feel a lot sometimes! And it’s too much and—and I getthat. I really do. But…you don’t haveto force yourself, okay? You don’t have to feel like…you’re empty or something,okay? I might not be saying this well but…I just want you to know that. I’mhere for you and you’re not alone.” There! She had said her piece and maybe shehad said a little too much and most of it had made zero sense. Lucy could deny the sincerity behind her own words. They were coming directly from her heart, after all.    

[melamemea]

misc. angst. // sentences .

“ I just wanna feel something. ”

“ Can you really judge me for being this way? ”

“As if you were any better! ”

“ You don’t understand what it’s like, you really don’t. ”

“ Oh yeah? You know what? Fuck you. That’s what. ”

“ There is so much pain, and I… I don’t know how to not notice shit. ”

“ I hate what I see. ”

“ I wish I had never met you. ”

“ Do you think I’ll ever be as pretty as her/him ?”

“ You don’t need to pretend to give a shit about me just because people are watching. ”

“ Fuck you. ”

“ Where were you !? ”

“ Get the fuck out! ”

“ I can’t look at you right. ”

“ What do you want from me, ( Name ) !? ”

“ I can’t do this anymore. It’s over. Leave me alone. ”

“ Nothing is going to change. Nothing. Get that into your head. ”

“ Trust y o u ? I did trust you ! And you broke my heart ! ”

“ I gotta go. ”

“ You know what? Fuck this. I’m out. ”

“ Life is one fucking beauty contest after another, fuck that. ”

“ Suddenly i’m not good enough for you, is that it? ”

“ I don’t know how to change it. ”

“ I’m so scared that this feeling won’t ever go away. ”

“ I feel like shit when I’m alone, I feel like shit when I’m with you; nothing is going to change, not even you make me happy anymore, so what’s the fucking point, huh? ”

“ It’s fine. It’s not like you belonged to me to begin with. ”

“ Do me a favor? Stop calling me pretty because it makes me uncomfortable. ”

“ It hurts — because it mattered! At least to me, but… ”

“ Why… do nice people choose the wrong people to date? ”

“ We accept the love we think we deserve. ”

“ I can’t be with you. I won’t be with you. ”

“ You’re all I have! ”

“ Stop blaming me for your mistakes !”

“ What do you want me to do then!? ”

“ Looking at you is a constant reminder of how I fucked up. So could you please… please just… go away? ”

“ I understand what it’s like to be different. ”

“ I’m very different. ”

“ I’m damaged. ”

“ Everyone leaves. It’s okay. I’m cool with it. ”

“ What do normal people do when they get this sad? ”

“ Because of what you did — I’m damaged! ”

“ I’m too fucking sick of the world. ”

“ Why is this so hard ? Jesus christ… ”

“ I can’t remember the last time I felt this… bad. ”

“ I guess I saw it coming, but I chose to ignore it. I chose to look away because I thought… I thought that this time would be different. What a joke. ”

“ I’m never the one. ”

“ Your choice is simple, her/him/them or — me. I’m sure she’s / he’s / they are great, but I… I love you.”

“ Oh… you’re staying with her/him/them. ”

“ I’m in love with him. ”

“ You knew this was going to happen, and you fucking let it — do you… do you even have a heart? ”

“ You’re so fucking cold. ”

“ I need you to need me back! ”

“ I really do hope that you’re happy. ”

“ I try — so hard… and… I’m never the one.”

“ He’s an asshole, he just can’t hide it anymore. ”

“ Jesus Christ (name) , could you just… do something?”

“ I’m sorry! I can’t help it! I don’t even want it!”

“ That was your fault. ”

“ Why can’t you admit that you can’t stand what I am !?”

“ I’m upset! ”

“ Do you have any idea… what you’ve put me through? ”

“ I’m sorry I’m not the perfect person you want me to be! ”

“ You must have all the answers then. ”

“ I’ll figure it out. ”

“ Don’t come running to me when you change your mind. It’s over. I’m done. ”

“ Don’t ever call me again. ”

[jionarle]

viruine replied to your post: affectionatesuggestion: concept: we fall asleep...

graylu lol…

.........um, hello? police...?

[jionarle]

Hi like this for a starter which I promise I’ll get around to doing!! ^_-

[jionarle]

venomoustigress replied to your post: venomoustigress replied to your post no.

still no.

[jionarle]

venomoustigress replied to your post

no.

[jionarle]

[jionarle]

💕 // boi

Send 💕 and my muse will use The Love Calculator to see how compatible they are.

    “53 percent! That’s really not that low, is it? Surprising!” Once upon a time, he was number one on her list of potential boyfriends. “But I guess it doesn’t mean much either, does it? I mean...you’ve probably got a 50/50 chance of working out with anyone really!” Except for a few exceptions, of course. 

[jionarle]

💕

Send 💕 and my muse will use The Love Calculator to see how compatible they are.

          “ONLY 66 percent? It’s gotta be busted, Levy-chan! There’s no way our compatibility’s that low. I was expecting way higher!”

“I mean what’s a guy named Dr. Love know? Nothing, that’s what!” He may be called Dr. Love but he’s defective! 

[eggnogrph-blog]

Send 💕 and my muse will use The Love Calculator to see how compatible they are.

Site being used (x)

[jionarle]

viruine:

‘  we’re both adults,  come on.  don’t think i don’t know what you’re writing about,  lucy.  ’  okay,  he doesn’t,  but she’s so sneaky about her writing that he’s going to bluff about it and insinuate she writes porn.  ‘  anyways,  thanks for the support and then the insult.  i appreciate it.  you always know juuuust what to say.  ’

     “--hey, what’s that supposed to mean? I write about adventures, Gray! Get your mind out of the gutter, will you?” She writes only pure things and the reason she’s so secretive about it is because of how self-conscious she is! “ACK! I didn’t mean it like that! I meant you were weird in a good way! Come on. You know everyone in Fairy Tail’s a little weird. It’s almost like a requirement at this point.” 

[jionarle]

venomoustigress replied to your post: ok i changed lucy’s age to 20 bc umi was freaking...

honestly i’m sitting here giggling over the fact that lucy’s taller than mini~

I personally LOVE IT

[jionarle]

ok i changed lucy’s age to 20 bc umi was freaking out

[jionarle]

viruine:

‘  i think he sends it to me because i’m so blasé about it.  i think he thinks i’m some freak,  so he keeps doing it.  i dunno.  i’m trying to give it a chance.  ’  he is sighing so deeply.  are they underwater  ?  this is horrible.  he’s exiting.  ‘  he’s right,  i’m a deviant.  ’

       “...you’re trying to give porn a chance, huh?” Don’t knock it till you try it. “I mean, if it’s not your thing then it’s not your thing, right? Maybe you’re just more into--okaaay, wow--I am so not having this conversation with you.” Or anyone, for that matter. “You’re not a deviant, Gray! You’re just...weird.”

[reblogthings]

Introduce your muse!

[jionarle]

Name: Lucy Heartfilia. Age: 20. Height: 5’5”/165 cm. Eye Color: Brown. Hair Color: Blonde. Sexual Orientation: Bisexual. Species: Human. Allergies: None that she knows of. Fears:  Losing those closest to her. Not living a fulfilling life. Having no control over her own fate.  How often do they hurt themselves: She’s not really clumsy so there’s no injuries from that but she does retain the usual injuries from battles and whatnot but she’s pretty good at saving her own skin. Relationship status: SINGLE.