> summary: Sometimes you don't just fail to follow your best friend's train of thought, you can't make sense of them at all. Like this time, when Jungkook comes up with the "brilliant" idea of going to couples therapy, even though you're not a couple, just to see how long it takes the therapist to see through your charade.
> best friend! Jungkook x f.reader
> romcom, idiots2lovers, best friends2lovers, slow burn, angst
> wc: 2.7k
> rating: 18+, MDNI
> warnings: still toxic, jealousy, enter player no 2 / love-triangle hihi, foul language
Mulling over the past few weeks, it isn’t far-fetched that your relationship with Jungkook resembles a phone buzzing with an unknown text.
There is something familiar—the sound and the feel of your phone, or in this case Jungkook’s—something you’ve encountered so often that it has become part of the mental inventory of the person. His muttering when you were just about to head out, into the nightlife, or even when he would generously offer to drive you home after a night at his—“phone, wallet, keys“—patting each item through his clothes to make sure he hadn’t forgotten them.
How often had you held his phone in your hand, felt the edges against the grooves of your sensitive fingertips, its weight so much lighter than yours because of the high-tech case that only he seemed to have. And yet now, as it lies before you, as you stare at it while the slender hands of the clock on your living room wall circle more sluggishly than ever before, you see with startling clarity that this unknown text glowing brightly is just as unpleasant, if not more irritating, than Jungkook himself.
‘You free?’
It could be harmless in the simplicity of the words themselves, in the plainness of asking whether the owner of the phone has space in his life for another person, perhaps just for some spare minutes, or quite for a lifetime just as much. But the obscurity of that person— this faceless presence—is something that once again sets your blood simmering, as it has been for days.
Sohee 🍑
Is it too dramatic that you’ll hate this name for the rest of your life, if not for the next four reincarnations as well?
You let the thought pass, because right now is right now, and at this very moment your mind refuses to detach itself from Jungkook.
It’s only understandable—expected, even—that a bachelor of his age and calibre doesn’t live a life of celibacy but—as the new trendy generation likes to say—crashes out every now and then. Well… even in your own head that sounds not quite right—he’s perfectly entitled to shag someone from time to time.
The fact you don’t like it for reasons you can’t quite identify should really be a you problem. A thoroughly inconvenient and entirely pointless problem, especially when you’re supposed to have nothing more than a purely platonic friendship with him.
So you flip the metaphorical record over, trying not only to listen to the B-side but to rewrite it altogether. You scratch out what was probably meant to be flirting, skip over the touches entirely, let the almost-kiss stammer awkwardly past, and when the next track begins, you refuse to think about it anymore.
Maybe there’s a love song hidden on this side of the record too. Maybe it’s prettier than all that overdramatic teenage drivel that sounded wonderful a few years ago but now only makes your ears bleed.
Or, maybe, that’s complete bullshit, because you can’t teach an old dog—aka you—new tricks.
So you tap the dimmed screen once more, pulling the same disgusted face when you see that stupid name and stupid message, mentally hearing its shrill ping all over again. Curiosity seems every bit as revolting as jealousy when you open his contacts and search for your own name.
Prepared to find dozens—ones that somehow feel like billions—of women’s names paired with every emoji imaginable, you scroll through the surprisingly short list, your shoulders sagging with relief you desperately needed. Still, your own name doesn’t appear straight away. You pause for a second before deciding to search his messages instead.
You ignore Sohee 🍑 for now. Just like Minji 🧨, Haeun 💦, Jiwoo 🥥, Seoyun 🫦…
Yeah, no. Your blood immediately starts boiling again. Seeing them all like that is just a tiny bit too much. Who are you joking—you want to drown him in the dirty waters of a public toilet.
And then there’s—because Jungkook’s the absolute brain-dead moron that he is—your name that’s rather embarrassingly saved as demon 👹.
Your eyelid twitches.
You’re seconds away from ringing your own beautifully named contact—and by extension yourself—when Yoongi’s name and photo suddenly fill the screen, the phone slipping from your hand, vibrating and skidding across the kitchen table.
Yoongi’s your friend too, so you reckon answering shouldn’t be a problem.
“Hellooo.” You drag the o out theatrically, just like you always do whenever you’re granted the honour of busy Yoongi ringing you.
A brief silence follows before his unmistakably bored, deep drawl comes through. “Is the rat with you?”
It brightens your mood far more than it should. A genuine smile full of teeth—the sort you don’t think you’ve had in days—splits your face open before you can overthink it again. “Nope. I’ve got his phone for now, and he’s got mine.”
“Why?”
“Didn’t the others tell you about the thera—”
“Yep.”
“That’s why. So if you want to talk to ‘the rat’, you’ll have to ring me.”
You think you hear the faintest huff from the other end of the line, making you smile again. Yoongi had always been like this, and somehow you’d never managed to stop being just a little fond of him.
Maybe you have a weakness for emotionally unavailable—or, in Jungkook’s case, emotionally crippled—men. Yoongi, while nowhere near as chaotic as Jungkook, had always been a closed book.
Well. A very attractive closed book. One secured with seven seals, at least as far as you were concerned.
“So… are you two actually dating now, or…?”
He leaves the sentence unfinished, letting you fill in the blank yourself. The first option seems so absurdly unrealistic that even Namjoon should’ve seen through it by now.
“Nope.” You repeat yourself, drawing a breath to add something else, only to realise the words simply aren’t there. So you leave it at that.
“Good.”
Okay?
The next silence feels oddly clumsy—something you’re completely unaccustomed to whenever you speak to Yoongi. Then, after another quiet breath from his end and a brief clearing of his throat, he continues. “You doing anything tonight?”
The group chat hasn’t had any new messages. Did they make plans without you? That would be so rude.
“No. Why?”
“I’ll pick you up at seven. Wear something nice.”
And the line goes dead.
What. The. Actual fuck. Is that supposed to mean?
It all seems to fly straight over your head. Then again…that seems to be what your entire life is doing at the moment.
Desperate for some kind of clarity, you open Taehyung’s chat—saved as “mouth breather ☢️”—to ask whether the group’s got something planned for tonight, only to abandon the idea the second you notice their entire conversation history for the past few days—you don't bother confirming it being weeks—consists of nothing but “🖕” being sent back and forth.
“They seriously needed therapy.” You mutter to yourself, shaking your head as though someone were sitting beside you to agree.
And since killing two birds with one stone is supposedly efficient, you decide to ring the real demon instead, fully expecting nothing more than short answers considering the two of you are hardly on friendly—or even speaking—terms at the moment.
Thankfully, Jungkook answers after the very first ring, sparing you from letting your impulsiveness win by hanging up just as quickly.
“What’s up?” he sings into your ear.
After a brief internal debate over whether to start with his little bedroom adventure or Yoongi, you settle on the less emotionally charged topic.
“Have we got plans tonight?”
“What did you have in mind?” he shoots back, as if, after everything that’s happened, you’d actually fancy hanging out with him alone.
“No, not we as in you and me. Yoongi said something about picking me up tonight and told me to wear something nice. Has the group planned something without telling me or what?”
God, this particular kind of silence from Jungkook can be lethal, your sweat glands already sounding the alarm.
“No.” So painfully cold. “Where are you two going?”
“If I knew that, I probably wouldn’t have rung you, would I?”
Yep, even if you’re feeling a little skittish now, your irritation apparently has no intention of keeping quiet.
“Well… have fun then. Tell him to wear a condom.”
The rustling you hear next tells you the buff asshole is about to hang up, but you’re seeing red enough to shout into the phone—“Wait!”
A moment later, a short, equally simmering hum comes through, indicating he’s still listening.
“Your Sohee wants to see you. Be a sweetheart and call her so the poor girl doesn’t have to keep waiting.” You really can be an absolute bitch when someone pushes you far enough.
“No, ___, she’s not my—” He rushes to explain, but you’ve got no patience left.
So you cut him off, stressing every single word.
“Wear a condom, Jungkook.”
And you hang up.
Funny how you’d thought Yoongi would be the less emotionally charged subject. Even funnier that it’s only now, as you’re sitting opposite him in this four-star Michelin restaurant overlooking the city’s entire skyline in a full 360 degree panorama, that it dawns on you Jungkook only answered the phone so quickly because he’d probably been rifling through your mobile like some fucking sniffer dog.
Joke’s on him, he won’t find anything. Your slate’s clean!
“Another splash?” Yoongi angles the nearly empty bottle of Romanée-Conti towards your empty glass with the effortless refinement that’s simply customary in the circles the two of you move in.
“Please.” A smile naturally comes with him, not only because you’ve been friends for so long, but because Yoongi is just such a darling.
At first, you’d thought he was just another arrogant loser, the sort chaebol heirs always seem to be, but he’s so much more than that—he always has been. But when, straight after graduating, he took over his family’s empire, the largest pharmaceutical and chemical company in the whole of Asia, and still had far more than just peanuts left over to support charities across the board, it became clear to you and every one of your friends that Yoongi is one of a kind, not only in your generation, but in the entire millennium.
When he’d picked you up a few hours earlier, exactly as arranged—and you have to admit there was something about his punctuality and reliability that scratched at something absolutely vital in your brain—in his onyx-coloured car, greeting you—against every ritual the two of you had established until then—with a gentle kiss to your left cheek accompanied by those deep, quiet words about how enchanting you looked, his hand resting not only at the small of your back but wandering a little lower before opening the passenger door for you with a charming smile that made you melt despite yourself, it finally dawned on you that this wasn’t simply two long-time friends meeting up.
It was a date.
With a capital D.
The reason you’d agreed to all of this so readily, you mostly put down to your need for predictability and Yoongi’s unreasonably exceptional charm. Hell, you are friends, talking to him has never been difficult, almost as effortlessly easy as it always is with Jungkook. Yet somewhere in the middle of making that comparison, one thing becomes impossible to ignore:
With Yoongi, you’re safe. Without a doubt in your soul. You always have been.
With Jungkook, meh, not so much.
Perhaps that’s exactly the sticking point flashing brightly behind your eyelids every time you blink, when Yoongi, after the two of you have eaten your way through every course beneath candlelight and the distant glitter of the city at night, and the evening is slowly drawing to a close, drops a bomb that really ought to have been nothing more than a snapper pea, seeing as you truly should have seen it coming.
“I know that you and Jungkook have a rather…” his characteristic inhale through his teeth cuts him off for a moment as you hastily take another very generous sip of your red wine. “…intertwined friendship. You always have.”
Yoongi looks at you for a moment, perhaps waiting for agreement, or protest, but you’ve fallen silent, your eyes wide, expectant or frightened—you aren’t quite sure yourself—as you look back at him.
So he continues, unfaltering. “I don’t ever want to regret not doing what I’m convinced is the right thing. Especially after I heard the two of you had started that couples therapy.”
“Yeah, that’s—” you begin awkwardly.
“Just for a laugh. I know.”
He moistens his lips with his wine-purple tongue, your pupils inevitably following the movement as heat rises into your face. You hope it’s only the wine.
“I’ve had feelings for you, ___. For quite a while now. Maybe you’ve never considered me that way, but I don’t want to leave it untried.”
Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t say anything as your mouth hangs slightly open, your brain clinically dead for a moment from sheer overload.
“I’d like you to think about it properly. I don’t need an answer straight away, take your time. I can give you everything you want and everything you need. You deserve that. And so much more.”
A gentle smile.
Nothing but goodwill in those sharp eyes you’ve known for so long—and yet not like this.
You’d be lying to yourself if you said you’d never played this little game in your head before. What it would be like to be Mrs Min Yoongi one day.
You’re certain, certain enough to stake your life on it, that if you chose that life, there wouldn’t be a single thing you’d ever go without, and you’re not just talking materially, even though you’re pretty loaded yourself—which pales in comparison to Yoongi’s net worth.
It would be a life where he’d lay the world at your feet, willingly, out of love, because Yoongi simply is the most loyal person in the world, faithful to the bone, emotionally open only with the people closest to him. He’d be dependable, an incredible husband and surely father too, you’d hardly ever argue because you know he’d rather accept a compromise that left him bleeding out than let the person he loves feel even the slightest prick of discomfort.
It would be so unimaginably easy. Especially since—no doubt—there's a minuscule spark if you can call it like that inside you as well.
And he’s presenting himself and all these possibilities to you on a silver platter, figuratively on one knee before you, because you know exactly that when Yoongi says something, it’s well considered and final. He’s thought every risk through to the very end, he knows exactly what he wants, and if you were to say yes, he’d spend the rest of his life happy, steadfast in that decision.
“Okay…” You breathe the word quietly, your eyes slightly glassy not only because the wine has finally gone to your head, but because this entire conversation has unexpectedly made you emotional. Why, you don‘t want to fully admit to yourself just yet. “I’ll think about it.”
“That’s all I’m asking.”
And with that, he finishes the rest of his wine, gets to his feet, walks around the little table and helps you out of your chair, into your coat, carries your small handbag, accompanies you through the lift and back to his car and your flat, where, before leaving, he presses that same intoxicating kiss to your cheek once again and wishes you a good night.
Your head spins in wild circles as you close the door behind you, immediately slumping back against it.
“What on earth was that?” you sigh, your eyes closed.
“Had your fun?”
The scream that tears out of you from pure shock borders on homicide, never in a million years expecting Jungkook to be sitting alone in your flat, in your armchair, which he’s apparently dragged into the middle of the room purely so he’d have a clear view of the front door.
“What the hell are you doing here?!”
He has the code to your flat just as you have the code to his, and normally there’d be nothing unusual about finding the other in your respective home.
Tonight, though, to this hour, his presence is about as welcome as his phone buzzing with a text from—you wish was—an unknown number instead this morning.
Genre: fantasy!au, demon!au, haunted apartment, horror (its not too bad bc im a coward guys), slow burn, forced proximity, supernatural romance, angst.
Summary: Jungkook is trapped in an attic, cursed to win affection from those who fear him most. Every tenant has fled until you move in. With your budget and patience on the line, you refuse to leave. Now you’re stuck sharing a space with a creature no priest, shaman, or exorcist can get rid of, and neither of you can escape.
Warnings: supernatural/fantasy themes, mentions of blood and physical attacks, mild language.
Word count: 9.3k
a/n: wrote some parts while listening to less by olivia, so maybe yall should do it too (just listen to it on repeat the way i did!) hopefully the chapter does justice to the wait, since you’ve all been waiting for it for a while now hehe 🤍
check out my: masterlist | banner creds to: vzzartt
“You did this,” Eris said to you. You wanted to say no. You wanted to tell Jungkook not to blame himself, that none of this was his fault, that you were scared, but you were glad he came. You wanted to tell him you were glad you got to see him one more time, even here, even like this, even if the last thing you saw was him on his knees because of you.
Jungkook seemed to understand it anyway, because his face changed before the knife moved. His eyes widened, and he moved forward like instinct had finally broken through restraint.
But Eris was closer to you than he was.
The knife shifted with a little more pressure, and that was all it took. You heard Jungkook calling your name, and you never imagined you would hear him sounding so broken while doing so.
One moment, you were looking at Jungkook, his eyes wide with horror, at his hands reaching for you even though he was too far away.
And the next, there was nothing.
"Oops, I didn't mean to kill her," Eris said as she smiled.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
You remembered the pain you felt from the bruises and scars on your body, but you somehow woke up with no pain at all.
It took you far too long to realise that the pain was gone. Because for so long, your body existed in a constant state of pain that you forgot what it felt like to simply be without something aching, throbbing, or burning beneath your skin. The absence of pain was almost more disorienting than the pain Seokjin and Eris inflicted on you.
You could not tell whether it has been a full day since you were kidnapped or only a few hours. Time blurred beneath the pain that never seemed to fade. Since being kidnapped the second time, there has always been something, like an ache in your ribs, a sting along your skin, and throbbing somewhere you could not reach or even see.
Now there was nothing and somehow that frightened you more.
The air felt different wherever you are now.
It had no warmth or coldness, it was the perfect temperature for you, just the way you like it. You breathed in and it felt so easy for you. Your ribs did not hurt, your chest did not tighten, for the first time since Seokjin and Eris kidnapped you, you did not wince at the simple movement of breathing.
You looked around and all you could see is white.
Everywhere you looked was just white extending in every direction.
You pushed yourself up to your feet, half-expecting your legs to give out beneath you, but they didn’t. There was no tensed pull in your muscles, no weakness felt in your knees. You could stand up so easily, then take a step and another step.
Your body then moved as though nothing happened to it, like being kidnapped was just a dream. Then you started to walk around the room, the white space, or wherever you were in.
You noticed that there were no walls, corners, or doors. There was nothing that could tell you where the space begins or ends, and when you looked up, there was only white stretching endlessly above you. You couldn’t figure out if it was sky or if it was an illusion, because it was all just white.
You, well, any normal human being would have panicked. But instead, the longer you stood there, the calmer you felt. Whatever this place was, it softened and calmed something inside you.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
Author’s Note: from this point onward, ALL italicised text represents The Ancient One speaking!!!
You remembered everything that happened to you clearly.
You could still feel the blade against your throat, you could feel your blood dripping when the sharpness of the blade cut through your skin. You remembered it all.
You could still see Jungkook on his knees against the stone floor, one tear slipping down his face. You remembered when his hands were stretched out towards you, reaching to you across a distance he was not able to close in time.
You remembered the last thing you felt was how cold it was.
It was a special knife, my dear child.
The voice was all around you, it was everywhere around you and did not come from a specific direction. You turned around instinctively, looking for a face, a body, something to assign the voice to.
There was still nothing but the white space, "Who are you?" you asked.
They would often refer to me as The Ancient One
You did not know what it meant for something or someone to be The Ancient One. Maybe someone told you about it before. Maybe Father Gabriel mentioned it once, or Jungkook explained it during one of those long days when the two of you had nowhere else to be. But you just could not remember it and right now, all you knew was what your Demon senses and your human intuition was telling you: that The Ancient One was not just powerful, it was above power. The Ancient One felt like the being every realm answered to, the one above every king, prince, angel, demon and humans; the boss of every boss.
You looked around again at the white space, "So," you said, "you are God."
The voice, or The Ancient One, did not confirm or deny it. You had a feeling it didn't say anything because the answer was obvious, and even you already knew the answer without The Ancient One answering your question.
"Then I really am dead, aren't I," you sighed, before adding, “where are you? why can't I see you?" as you looked around again at nothing but the empty white space.
I am all over, I do not have a form.
You just nodded, The Ancient One pretty much sums up what God was described to you on Earth. Nothing, but also everything and everywhere all at once.
You exhaled slowly, before quietly saying, "I just wanted a normal life.”
The words came out before you could stop them, it was one of those things that came up when you were just too tired to pretend you were fine. You have said something similar to Jophiel and even to Seokjin.
Would you go back to your previous life? One where you did not know Jungkook?
You thought about the question for some time. Then you opened your mouth only to close it again. You expected this question to be easy to answer. For weeks you have been angry about everything Jungkook's existence has taken from you. Your family, friends, students, your previous life, and your chance at an ordinary life and death.
All because a cursed Demon prince ended up in your studio apartment and you were just too stubborn about rent to move out. So you waited for yourself to say yes to the question.
But it never came out of your lips.
You thought of Jungkook watching a sitcom from behind the sofa, telling you what the character would do next. You thought of him lying beside you when you had a fever, his body radiating cold through the layers of blankets. You thought of Jungkook standing outside your door for weeks because he did not know how to talk to you, yet didn’t want to leave you all alone. You thought of Jungkook on his knees on the cave floor with one tear on his face begging Eris to let you go.
"No," you replied.
You were more certain of your answer than anything that you have felt in months, "No. I would want both. I would want my life on earth and I would want to have known him. But if I had to choose one without the other…” you stopped before continuing, "..I would choose him."
We cannot have all, my child.
"But you are the Ancient One," you said, and the stubbornness in your voice was the same stubbornness that kept you in a haunted studio for months, "I assume you have existed before Kratos and Heaven. Could you not reverse things? Could you not simply fix this?"
The Ancient One did not answer and for a moment, there was only silence.
"So what happens to me now?" you asked, breaking the silence.
What do you want to happen to you?
You looked at the white space that surrounded you entirely, and thought about the question The Ancient One just asked you. You wondered exactly what you want, was it your old life back with all those you loved and cherished? The ordinary life where you were guaranteed a normal death? Or do you actually want to stay a Demon and live your life with the three friends you have? A completely new life in a new body?
"I don't want to die," you said firmly, "I want to live, and I want to do that with Jungkook."
You said it before you could stop yourself. But once the answer was out, it did not feel as scary as it sounded in your head. It just felt like you have known it for a while and you have felt it for a while, you were only just saying it out loud now.
There you have it. You have figured out what you are truly feeling.
"So I’ll live, right?" you asked, the hope that flickered in your chest felt stupid to you, “even after I was stabbed with that special knife you mentioned?”
The Ancient One did not answer your question. But instead, the floor beneath your feet changed. One second the white space stretched endlessly around you and the next, the ground turned clear beneath you like glass.
You looked down and noticed the cave was now below you and you dropped to your knees when you realised what was happening. Your hands pressed against the transparent floor as you leaned closer, pulled towards the sight of the cave.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
Through the glass floor, you could see the cave below so clearly.
Jungkook was on the ground, holding your lifeless body against his chest. And a few feet away, Jophiel stood over Eris with one hand around her throat and his wings were spread wide enough to reach both sides of the cave.
You have never seen Jophiel look like that before, with his wings spread out as if to assert his dominance. From that sight alone, you could tell Jophiel was furious. His anger filled every part of the cave until there was nowhere for Eris to hide.
Eris laughed even with Jophiel’s hand around her throat and her feet barely touching the ground, she laughed.
"You wouldn't dare," Eris said, still sounding so sure of herself, “no angel would dare. That is not what your kind do. Killing is not what you do, it never has been and it never will be."
Jophiel’s grip tightened on Eris’s neck, "You killed a human," Jophiel said.
You never heard Jophiel sound like this before. He did not sound like the gentle Jophiel who sat at the edge of your bed, brought you books from Earth, and this was also not the same Jophiel who always seemed to know what to say when you were feeling too overwhelmed.
Jophiel’s voice sounded so different. There was something in his voice you never heard before. It was not just anger. His voice was stripped of everything gentle, of the careful way he spoke to you, and the patience he always carried.
"You know what Humans mean to Angels," Jophiel added, "you have always known that and that Human happened to be someone I am very fond of."
"You are fond of me," Eris giggled, "you love me, Jophiel, you have always loved me. Whatever you think you feel for that thing is fleeting and stupid."
"No, Eris," Jophiel firmly said, “not anymore.”
While Jophiel and Eris were exchanging words, Jungkook said nothing.
You watched him from above, trying to make sense of what you were seeing. He didn’t seem to be thinking of anything, Jungkook was just looking at you. It was as if Jungkook could not believe you were really there. His fingers moved carefully over your jaw, your bruised cheekbone, your wrists, and the dried blood all over your clothes and skin.
What was Jungkook supposed to feel now? What was the Demon prince supposed to feel and acknowledge?
Somewhere between the studio and North Kratos, Jungkook started to believe there would be a future with you in it.
Jungkook imagined a life where he would come back from whatever the citadel demanded of him and find you in the North Tower, sitting by the window with a book in your hands, annoyed about something.
Jungkook never called it a future, saying it out loud would have meant admitting that it was something he wanted, and wanting things had never come easily to him. Yet Jungkook has been moving towards what he imagined and wanted anyway. In all the small, awkward things he has never done, but did so for you.
But what Jungkook has imagined is now gone.
His father was right, and Jungkook hated that his father, The King, had been right: that no Demon is ever safe, and nothing in Kratos was ever really permanent, not even the thing you most carefully tried to hold.
Still looking at you, Jungkook called out to his friend, "Jophiel."
"Yes?" Jophiel said, his attention still on Eris.
"Kill her," Jungkook said, with a flat voice like there was no emotion left in him.
"You didn't have to ask," Jophiel replied.
You could not look away from what happened to Eris, even though part of you wanted to. Jophiel was not cruel in the way Seokjin was cruel, he did not seem to take any pleasure in what he was about to do, he was just very thorough about it. Jophiel didn’t reach for any weapon, he didn’t need one because he himself, was the weapon. He extracted some light from his body, and it wrapped around Eris before she could move.
“You wouldn’t fucking dare, Jophiel,” Eris said.
Jophiel looked at her with no sympathy or even a trace of the affection he had once shown her, “This should have been done long ago,” Jophiel said flatly before moving the light through her.
And then, Eris was simply gone.
You noticed then that Seokjin was gone too. The cave entrance was empty. You figured he must have slipped away while everyone had been looking at Eris or at your lifeless body. Even now, Seokjin has chosen his moment carefully.
Jophiel turned his head towards the cave entrance and stood still when he realised Seokjin was nowhere to be found, “Seokjin ran away,” Jophiel snapped.
Jungkook did not answer straight away, he was still holding you against his chest, “He won’t be far,” Jungkook said at last, “he knows I’m at my limit. He can feel it,” Jungkook’s grip tightened slightly around your body before adding, “Seokjin can feel my wrath from anywhere in Kratos.”
"I don't doubt it," Jophiel responded, because he too could barely shield himself from the wrath radiating off Jungkook.
Jophiel then walked towards Jungkook, lowering himself towards the cave floor across from Jungkook. Your body was still in Jungkook’s arms between him and Jophiel. The pain on Jophiel’s face when he looked at your body was so raw that looking at him hurts you too.
Jophiel looked up and he, who has seen thousands of years of Demons and their wars and cruelties, went very silent and still, as he didn’t know what to say or do because his friend was crying.
Jungkook was visibly crying.
It was not only one drop of tear like what Jophiel saw minutes ago. This was Jungkook's face covered in tears. All the things that usually made him Jungkook were gone, and there was nothing left in Jungkook except grief and anger.
Jophiel has known him for centuries and never once he has seen him like this.
The grief coming off Jungkook was now so deep that Jophiel did not know how to make sense of it. It was not anything he understood about Demons. It was not lust, wrath, or pride turned into something else. Jophiel said nothing for a long time, for once, he really did not know what to say.
"Jungkook," Jophiel said finally, "I'll take ____ to Heaven. There should be a way. I'll find a way for you.. and for her."
Jungkook didn’t say anything back, he just stared at your body in his arms. He tried to remember, watching you now, if he had ever seen you truly happy since the transformation. He went back through every day in the North tower, every conversation, every moment he had listened from the corridor, or the training ground, or the window of his father's study. Jungkook has seen or heard you laugh with Jophiel. He remembered hearing you eat the Baskin Robbins ice cream with Jophiel and Woojin. He even remembered the argument the two of you had, he remembered every word of it.
But Jungkook had also seen you happy on Earth. Jungkook watched you for days from the studio before you even knew he was there. He remembered you packing your lunch, humming off-key under your breath, sitting at your desk with your ankles crossed as you marked the papers of your students.
He saw who you were when your life was still yours. And now, kneeling on the cave floor with you in his arms, tears drying on his face, Jungkook understood something he has been avoiding for a long time.
You have never been that happy in Kratos.
"Having her come back again as a Demon would be selfish, wouldn't it," Jungkook said, it was more of a statement than a question, "Jophiel," Jungkook said, still looking at your face, "I have never felt this way before. I don't know what to call it. But I know that I cannot stand to watch her suffer because of me anymore. I cannot stand to know that every moment she spent here was harder than the one before it because of choices I made and things I failed to prevent."
"What are you saying?" Jophiel asked his friend.
"I think," Jungkook said slowly, "this is what humans call love."
Jophiel did not move an inch hearing his Demon friend’s confession.
"Take her," Jungkook said, "save her. Even if she becomes a human again, or something else entirely, or even something I don't have any right to follow into. But I don't think it would be good for her to stay with me. I don't think I am something she should have to keep surviving."
“Jungkook,” Jophiel said firmly, it was a warning to stop before Jungkook let himself believe any of it was his fault.
"I need to deal with Seokjin and his army," Jungkook said.
Jungkook kissed your forehead. He left a kiss so gentle that watching it from above made you shed tears.
It was so gentle but it also felt like a goodbye.
Jungkook stayed there for a second too long before pulling back. Then he carefully and slowly shifted you in his arms, getting ready to pass your body to Jophiel.
"Wait," Jophiel's voice came out harsher than he intended it to be, "wait one fucking minute. You are the only one she knows in this entire world of ours, do you understand that? You are the only creature here that she chose. Not because of obligation and not because she had no other options. She chose to stay every time she woke up in the morning and she could have decided the citadel was too much, packed everything, and started screaming at you to find another way out. She chose you every single time. And you want to decide, right now, that she would be better off without you?"
"She has never been happy in Kratos," Jungkook replied.
"And you think she will be happy anywhere without you?" Jophiel asked, "You think she will wake up somewhere else, feeling healthy, happy, and better? You think that choosing this is better for her?"
"She will suffer without you," Jophiel added, “she will suffer even more greatly, and she will know that you chose this for her without asking her."
Jungkook stood very still. He thought about what Jophiel said, looking at it from every available angle. Jungkook thought about what the North tower room would feel like without you in it, he thought about what it would feel like to stand outside a door that no longer had you on the other side of it.
"I'll call for you once I'm done with Seokjin," Jungkook finally said.
"I'll search for you even if you don't," Jophiel replied immediately, "I am not letting you do this to her. I am not letting you make this decision before she has the chance to make it herself."
Jungkook did not answer.
He placed you in Jophiel's arms with the same care he had shown every bruise and broken part of you since he got you back. Then Jungkook walked towards the cave entrance without looking back.
Because if Jungkook looked back, he was not sure he would be able to move forward at all.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
Author’s Note: from this point onward, ALL italicised text represents The Ancient One speaking!!!
In the white space, you sat on the transparent floor and you haven’t been able to stop your tears from falling ever since seeing Jungkook and Jophiel in the cave.
You kept staring at the cave entrance where Jungkook had just disappeared and you could feel the Ancient One's quiet presence in the white space around you, as if it understood that you were not ready to say anything yet.
Jungkook still wanted to save your life yet step out of it completely, because he believed letting you go was the kindest thing he could do for you.
You thought about the lyrics from a song you could not remember the name of, something you listened to on earth in a life that felt like someone else's now.
And now, watching Jungkook leave, you understood the lyrics in a way you never had before. It was easy to call it love when someone said they were letting you go for your own good.
It sounded selfless, noble, even.
But sitting there, with tears running down your face, all you could feel was the pain of being left behind.
If this was what loving someone looked like, you thought, then maybe you wished Jungkook loved you less.
Because maybe then, Jungkook would have stayed.
I have never seen my Demon children become so aware of their feelings the way Jungkook does. He is a very powerful Demon, full mastery of all seven traits, and a bloodline built from the two oldest citadels in Kratos. And what he uses all of that power for, in this moment, is to try to do what he believes is the right thing for someone else. That is rarer than any of his other gifts.
"It's the wrong thing to do, what he believed I might want, is not what I want at all," you said as you pressed the palm of your hands against your eyes, "so now, again, my question is what will happen to me?"
What do you want to happen to you?
"I want to live. I want to be with Jungkook," you stated.
There you have it.
"So I'll live?" you asked.
The Ancient One did not answer in words, but the floor beneath you changed again and through it you could now see not the cave but the territory beyond it, the ridge and the border of North Kratos.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
Jungkook moved through Seokjin's followers the way fire spreads in a bushfire, he was quick and impossible to contain.
You watched from above and felt the glass floor vibrate with the force of Jungkook’s energy even from the distance of whatever existed between the white space and the world below.
Jungkook’s wings were spread to their full width for the first time since you have known him, and the span of them was enormous that it filled the wide ridge path from wall to wall, blocking the path and space simultaneously.
The first group charged at Jungkook at the same time, there were twelve of them and they were not weak, these were not low-ranking soldiers or untrained followers.
Seokjin spent years building this, and these twelve Demons listened to Seokjin's philosophy about unrestrained Demon powers and believed that he was right. And they charged Jungkook with the belief that they were the strongest thing in the room.
Boy, were they wrong. And so were you, who couldn’t help but be terrified of Jungkook losing against twelve Demons attacking him at the same time.
Jungkook moved through these twelve Demons with such focus and precision that you couldn’t help the gasp that escaped your lips. But what surprised you even most was although he was angry, Jungkook wasn’t acting based on his rage.
After what happened to you in the cave, you expected this to be the moment he would finally lose control, but Jungkook did not or has not lose control yet. The Jungkook you are seeing is not some mindless Demon tearing through bodies in a blind rage. He was calm and focused, and terrifyingly so. Every movement Jungkook made was somehow calculated, his hand caught his opponent’s wrist before they could raise their weapon, and he knew which Demon would try to attack him next.
It was as if Jungkook could read their movements before they decided to move themselves. And five of them were down before you could properly take a look into what was happening.
The remaining seven met the same end before they could even express their fear. Jungkook’s sword flashed through the air again and again, and by the time the last body fell, he was still standing exactly where he had started.
The ridge path has now cleared for Jungkook.
More Demons came from the eastern side, spreading out in different angles to try to trap and catch Jungkook. You feared for his life as there were now even more Demons from different angles which would force Jungkook to choose who to defend himself against first.
But Jungkook only tilted his head before moving and attacking. At one point, you gasped when one of the Demons managed to land a hit on Jungkook. A heavy blade cut across the armor on his shoulder, hard enough that your own body flinched even from where you were standing. But Jungkook did not slow down.
Something in the air changed not long after he was hit.
Jungkook’s power seemed different, you always knew he was powerful, but his energy now seemed different. Your Demon senses told you that this energy you felt from Jungkook was the North's founding energy responding to the North's truest son fully claiming it. It was the territory itself recognising him, and every Demon near him could feel the difference between who they thought they were fighting and who they were actually fighting.
By the time the ridge cleared entirely, you have stopped counting how many Demons Jungkook has killed.
"He's furious," you said, stating what you could see and feel even from above. The Ancient One said nothing, but you felt it agreeing and acknowledging what you said.
"He's never going to stop until he kills Seokjin, is he?" you asked more to yourself than The Ancient One.
The floor below you shifted, widening and pulling back to show you more of the landscape, and now you could see the border itself, the flat ground between the North and the Lee’s territory.
The North's garrison forces were already there, deployed along the line in tight formation. On the other side of the line, The Lee army was positioned and God, they were enormous, the largest standing army in Kratos were just waiting for their command.
And at the boundary line, standing alone, was Seokjin.
Seokjin was not surrounded. He stood alone at the border with his wings spread behind him and his arms at his sides as he watched Jungkook approach him. From above, you could still make out the expression on Seokjin’s face.
Seokjin looked pleased with himself. Like everything up until now had only been a show, and this was the part he was waiting for.
Seokjin was smug enough to think he could still win this.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
Jungkook walked from the ridge path onto the open border ground and the Jeon Princes were now visible to each other again. The Jeon soldiers held their ground and across from them, The Lee army did the same.
Jungkook walked slowly towards his brother. He did not rush at all nor did he draw any of his weapons. You understood then that this would not be a quick and easy fight between two brothers. This would not be over in a few violent seconds as this was something that had been waiting for them for a long time.
This was a fight they both had been heading towards for years.
Jungkook stopped walking when he was close enough to his brother to speak without raising their voices.
"I wondered if you would come," Seokjin said.
"You knew I would," Jungkook replied.
Seokjin looked at his brother for a moment, reading him the way The Kim read everything, extracting meaning from his little brother’s posture and expression, "She's dead," he said.
"Yes," Jungkook said flatly.
"I did not plan for that. Eris was not supposed to kill her, she was just supposed to be leverage, not a dead body."
"It doesn't change anything," said Jungkook.
"No," Seokjin agreed quietly, "I didn't imagine it would."
Seokjin looked out at The Lee army behind him and then back at Jungkook, "I built all of this. The camp, my followers, the Lee alliance, the years of it. And standing here I keep coming back to the same thing. I built all of this because I am the one who deserves the throne."
Jungkook said nothing to his brother.
"That's all," Seokjin said, “I am the rightful heir to the throne, you are not. The Lee will hold until I give them an order. You either willingly give me the throne.." Seokjin looked at his brother before adding, "or we fight. Just the two of us without the involvement of the Lee or Jeon army, like it always should have been."
"Yes, fight," Jungkook said. Jungkook replied to Seokjin’s question so quickly that you wondered if Jungkook knew exactly what was about to happen.
Seokjin nodded once in response, and then the first prince of the North attacked his younger brother, Jungkook.
Seokjin was fast and that was the first thing you understood watching from above with your hands pressed flat against the glass floor and your knees cold against the transparent surface. You have seen Jungkook move in the ridge path and understood what his power looked like, and you assumed Seokjin would be less powerful.
But Seokjin was not less powerful. His power just worked differently. Seokjin was the complete opposite of his youner brother. Seokjin was explosive with his movements, he hit hard and without holding anything back. His energy seemed to burst from him with every strike.
Their swords collided with a sound that cut through the whole battlefield. Jungkook moved forward and Seokjin met him head-on. The force, power, and impact of the two swords colliding split the ground beneath them open and the impact had them land several feet away from each other.
You pressed your hand against your mouth, you weren’t sure what the impact of this fight would be. You knew Jungkook was powerful, and you believed that his mastery would eventually win this fight. But, seeing how Seokjin moved throughout the battle wasn’t something you could ignore.
They charged towards each other again. Seokjin read Jungkook's patterns from the first exchange and adjusted his attacks on the second. A strike Jungkook made that should have landed cleanly was redirected, and the redirection created an opening that Seokjin moved into immediately, catching Jungkook across the chest hard enough that you felt the impact as a vibration through the glass floor of the white space.
You let out a loud gasp, still The Ancient One said nothing but you felt it still being around you.
Jungkook was about to fall from the attack, but his wings spread open and one second he was dropping backwards, the next he caught himself in the air and twisted sharply to the side. Jungkook was now behind Seokjin before Seokjin was finished reading where Jungkook disappeared to. Jungkook’s sword struck Seokjin across the shoulder, hard enough to send him stumbling three steps away.
Both of them stopped for a moment to catch their breath.
You took a quick glance at the hundreds of soldiers on both sides standing in perfect silence and watching the two princes fight for the North Kratos throne.
But for Jungkook, he wasn’t fighting for the throne at all, still even now, he was fighting for you.
You did not have words for how long the fight went on. Time in Kratos did not run the same way time did on earth, and time in the white space you were in ran in an even more confusing way. What you knew was that neither of them was winning.
Seokjin spent centuries trying to prove himself. You could see it in the way he fought, every movement was sharp, every attack was meant to show exactly how strong he was, and he wanted Jungkook to see it. He wanted every single Demon watching to see it. What he learned makes him powerful and dangerous, but it also made him easier to read than Jungkook. Whenever Seokjin saw an opening, he went for it, because he wanted to be the one who took that first move.
Jungkook was different from his older brother. He spent centuries learning how to control himself or mastering the seven traits before anything else. Jungkook did not need Seokjin or anyone else’s approval. Jungkook didn’t need the soldiers watching from either side to understand what he was capable of, he only needed this to end. And because that was all he wanted, there was nothing extra in the way he fought.
The fight reached its turning point thirty minutes in, or what felt like thirty minutes in a space where time was just an approximation.
Seokjin landed a strike that opened a cut along Jungkook's jaw that immediately started to bleed. Something changed in Seokjin’s expression then. He looked relieved, like he has been waiting for proof that he could still hurt Jungkook, that he could still make Jungkook bleed.
Jungkook noticed the small drop in Seokjin’s guard immediately. He always noticed things like that, and the second Seokjin’s focus slipped, Jungkook moved forward into the space Seokjin left open.
The North Kratos sword made for Demons and for bodies that could survive wounds that would kill humans, came up in one smooth motion. But Seokjin caught Jungkook’s arm with both hands before the blade could reach him.
For a second, neither of them moved. The Jeon brothers were locked together, Jungkook forcing the sword forward while Seokjin held him back with everything he had.
Then, out of nowhere, Seokjin’s grip gave out.
You could not tell whether he meant to or whether his body simply had finally given up on him, and you were not sure it mattered. Because Jungkook didn’t stop; the sword drove forward and went through Seokjin’s throat in one clean motion, the blade cutting past his throat. It was quick. So quick that Seokjin only seemed to realise what happened when he looked down at Jungkook’s hand still wrapped around the handle of the sword.
Then Jungkook pulled the sword free.
Seokjin’s legs gave out as he dropped to one knee and his body started to tip sideways, but Jungkook caught him before Seokjin could hit the ground.
When Seokjin finally went still in his arms, Jungkook dropped him to the ground. He was now sure that his older broder is dead.
Jungkook stood up proudly, he was now the only prince of North Kratos.
He stood there for a moment with his back to both armies and his face toward the border's empty middle ground, and you watched his wings fold close behind him.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
The battlefield stayed silent long after it should have.
Jungkook was still standing where Seokjin’s lifeless body had fallen. His back was still to both armies, his wings still folded close, and his sword was still in his hand. There was still blood dripping from Jungkook’s sword, and the sight of it made your chest tighten.
You pressed your palms harder against the clear floor beneath you as if you could somehow reach through it. As if Jungkook might feel you from down there, but of course he didn’t.
The North soldiers behind their line have not moved either. They were waiting for Jungkook’s order, watching the back of their prince with the stillness of soldiers who understood that this was not their moment. This moment belonged to Jungkook alone, and no one on the North side of the border was going to take that from him.
The Lee army was different.
You could see the shift moving through their formation from above, a subtle restructuring, a recalculation happening across hundreds of bodies. They had come to this border expecting a specific war. They had an alliance, a plan, and a promised reward for the largest standing army in Kratos behind them. They watched Seokjin's followers fall in the ridge path. They watched two Jeon princes fight to the death on the contested ground between territories. They were also hesitating, which was a thing you did not expect from an army the size of theirs. They had the numbers, weapons, and they came prepared for war. But they also just watched Jungkook kill Seokjin. They saw and felt the power of the North Kratos second, or the now one and only, prince. And whatever they believed about Jungkook before, seemed to have disappeared.
But the Lee prince, whose name you did not know but you could figure out he was a prince from your Demon senses sensing his energy, still moved forward.
He stepped across the territorial line onto the contested ground by himself, his hands were visible on his sides and his posture seemed to communicate that he was approaching Jungkook for conversation rather than combat. He was not as afraid as the rest of the Demons there, you noticed. Or if he was, he did not show it the way the other Demons there showed it.
The Lee prince looked calm as he stepped forward and closer to Jungkook. He was still confident as he was taught that having a bigger army meant he could never lose and until now, he probably never had a reason to question it.
He looked at Jungkook's back for a good few seconds, waiting for Jungkook to turn around.
And when he did finally show his face, Jungkook’s expression was nothing you’ve seen before and something in your heart went cold.
Jungkook's face was completely emotionless, there was no expression, there was nothing on his face at all. There was no rage, grief, or even boredom.
Jungkook looked as if the storm in his life has already passed through him and took everything with it. Like there was nothing left for any Demon to threaten, nothing left for Jungkook to hold himself back.
"Prince Jeon," The Lee prince greeted. He inclined his head in a certain way that acknowledged Jungkook’s rank without conceding anything, “we offer our acknowledgment of the resolution of your family matter."
Jungkook said nothing to it.
The Lee prince continued, "What has happened here does not require escalation. Your forces and ours are both present and prepared. The question before us is not whether we could continue but whether continuing serves either citadel," he paused, “your brother made certain promises in exchange for our support. Those promises ended with your brother, we understand that. But we are an army ready for war, and we do not want to march home with nothing to show for the Demons back home."
The Lee prince lifted his hands slightly, like he was trying to show Jungkook the only options Jungkook had. He was acting as if what he was about to offer could still be talked through with the now emotionless North Kratos prince.
"Give us the unclaimed border territory Seokjin offered," The Lee prince said, “it is a modest concession. The North retains everything of substance and The Lee retains their dignity and both our soldiers live to see tomorrow. Both citadels return home intact, would that not be a good outcome for everyone involved?"
The Lee prince eventually stopped talking and waited for an answer, but Jungkook said nothing.
From the glass floor of the white space, you watched Jungkook's face, trying to figure out what he was about to do next.
Jungkook laughed, which was not something you expected at all. You expected him to say “fuck no” or continue with the war by attacking The Lee prince. But you did not expect Jungkook to laugh.
It was also the most frightening laugh you have heard him make, and you have heard Jungkook make many different sounds in many moods across many months of living in his proximity. You just could not feel any warmth behind his laugh.
It was a terrifyingly empty and emotionless laugh.
Without any notice, Jungkook moved forward to attack The Lee prince.
The Lee army did not hesitate to move and attack after that. Jungkook attacked their prince and that was enough for them to act. Whatever fear they felt disappeared in order to fight, and the North soldiers responded to their movement by charging before The Lee soldiers could cross too far into the North Kratos ground. Then all you heard were the sounds of steel, wings, shouting, and bodies rushing into each other from both sides.
The land between the North and the South disappeared under the fight so quickly you could barely tell where one side ended and the other began.
It was now war.
Hundreds of demons from both sides, and the sound of it reached you even through whatever barrier existed between the white space and Kratos.
You cried. But it wasn’t because of the war, you couldn’t really care less about the Demons who weren’t even going to accept you in Kratos.
You cried because of Jungkook. You cried even harder as you watched him move through The Lee forces.
You cried not because you were scared for his life, but you cried because the Jungkook you are looking at looked so different from the Jungkook you knew.
It was as if you were watching a different Jungkook. And to you, it almost felt like Jungkook’s emotions swallowed him whole.
That was what confuses and pains you the most: watching Jungkook becoming something that looked nothing like the version of him you knew, and you partly blamed yourself for it.
If it wasn’t for your stupidity in trusting Eris, if it wasn’t for your dumb brain seeing Jungkook as someone trying to control you instead of protecting you, if it wasn’t for you.. Jungkook would still be himself.
But right now, Jungkook looked nothing like the Demon who sat next to you on your sofa, nothing like the Demon who laid beside you under the blankets, nothing like the Demon who dropped to his knees and begged for your forgiveness. You remembered all those versions of him with you, but the Jungkook standing on that battlefield did not feel like any of these versions. And you were to blame.
You knew it was not fair to blame yourself for what he chose to do. You knew that much, but it was hard not to wonder if you had changed something in him anyway.
You kept thinking about the moment Jungkook held your lifeless body in his arms, the way his hands were shaking, and how he was looking at you like losing you has destroyed something inside him that Jungkook would never be able to put back together.
You could not stop wondering whether you changed Jungkook somehow, whether loving you has given him something else to lose, and whether that made him more dangerous than he has ever been before.
Could you, if it really was possible to revive you back to life, could you really go back to his life after this?
Could you sit beside him in the studio again and pretend you have not seen him standing in the middle of a battlefield with blood on his sword?
Could Jungkook still look at you the way he had before, like you were something soft in a world that has never been either of those things?
Or have you become part of the reason Jungkook turned into some Demon you barely recognised?
The thought made your chest hurt, but you did recognise Jungkook. Somewhere beneath all of this, beneath the violence and the lack of expression in his face, he was still the Jungkook who held you when you were sick, the Jungkook who knelt in front of you and begged for forgiveness. Jungkook was still the Demon who cried for you.
You just did not know whether there was enough of that version of him left for you to find when this was over.
"Is he going to be alright?" you said, it was not a question to The Ancient One, but it was more to yourself.
You wiped your face with the back of your hand and kept watching, because you did not know how to stop watching the Demon you love losing himself.
The Lee army was large, you’ve heard it repeatedly in every description of Kratos politics Jungkook has given you. The largest standing army in Kratos, the one thing that made The Lee citadel dangerous and overwhelming.
but you were relieved to see The North soldiers fighting as though the numbers of their opponent did not matter. because they knew the mastery of their traits has helped them to become even more powerful than their enemy. And numbers in this case, truly did not matter at all.
And at the front of all of it was Jungkook.
You watched him for a long time, until the tears stopped coming because your body seemed to run out of them, or maybe you were just tired of crying since what felt like forever. and you were just exhausted.
You did not know what would happen if you were revived back to life.
You no longer know if being with Jungkook would be good for him anymore.
Maybe loving him would not make his life better.
And maybe, for Jungkook, loving you would only give him another thing to lose.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
Jophiel had no time to think about how he was carrying you when he opened the passage to Heaven from the cave.
He opened up the portal with one hand, which left the other free hand to hold you against his chest. Soon after, there was a light that opened in the cave wall that was less elegant than his usual portals, more torn than opened, but Jophiel couldn’t care less about what the portal looked like, he needed to save you.
He needed to save his dearest human.
Jophiel arrived in one of the outer halls of Heaven, the wide pale corridor that connected the lower reception chambers to the inner palace of Heaven, and the moment he stepped out of the portal, two angels turned and walked towards him from the far end of the hall.
They gasped when they saw what, who, Jophiel was carrying.
Jophiel walked towards them without slowing down, "I need help," he said in a hurry because there was no time for anything else and because, you, who were in his arms, had no pulse.
The two angels in the far end of the hall were Gabriel and Raphael, and once they noticed something was genuinely wrong, they ran towards Jophiel. Gabriel reached out to Jophiel first before taking a good look at your body in Jophiel’s arms. And when he looked at you, Gabriel knew then that the damage had been done.
Raphael came to the other side and pressed two of his fingers to your wrist, then your neck, then he held his palm flat over your chest. Angels could tell if a soul had left a body, yet Raphael just had to check again and again, because a part of him wished what he felt was not real and was just some sort of error in his Angel senses.
Raphael looked up at Jophiel, "There is no pulse," Raphael said carefully.
"I know there is no pulse," Jophiel said, and his voice came out harsher than he intended it to be, “that is why I am here, tell me what can be done."
Raphael and Gabriel exchanged a quick look, while Jophiel turned to look at his friends just as Gabriel looked down at you again. Gabriel’s lips parted slightly to say something only to close it again. Whatever Gabriel was about to say, he was trying to find a way to make it less painful to Jophiel to hear.
"Jophiel," Gabriel finally said after a good one minute pass by, but Gabriel’s voice was so careful it made the hair on the back of Jophiel's neck rise, "the knife they used to kill ____, we can see its work in her. This is not a wound that falls within the scope of what we are authorised to intervene in, this is not a ghost in need of guidance or a human soul that has crossed without cause. This is a Demon's body that has been struck by something designed specifically to kill Demons."
"Then tell me what I should do," Jophiel demanded.
"Jophiel," Raphael said softly, trying to calm his friend down.
"Tell me," Jophiel said again, still demanding an answer from his brothers.
Gabriel looked at Jophiel again, feeling sorry for his dearest brother, "Only The Ancient One could help her. This is beyond what Heaven, or any Angels can offer. I am sorry, my friend."
The corridor went very silent.
Jophiel stood there in Heaven’s outer hall with you in his arms. Jophiel heard what Gabriel and Raphael said to him, and he understood what they meant right away. But Jophiel wished he did not. For once, the Angel of Enlightenment wished he did not understand the information that was given to him.
Jophiel knew the moment your soul left your body, somewhere in the back of his mind also knew that this was the answer he was going to receive from his brothers.
Jophiel knew what was going to happen in the cave when he took your body from Jungkook's arms. He knew it when he tore through the passage between realms with one hand. Johpiel knew it the way he knows things that he did not want to know, because he is the Angel of Enlightenment. And for the first time ever in his life, he wished he was not.
His brothers watched him carefully, not because they were scared of Jophiel. They just did not know what he was going to do next. Jophiel has been holding you against his chest so tightly ever since he left the cave in North Kratos. He just could not accept that The Ancient One would do this to his dearest Demon friends.
Since he walked into the North tower and found you with Jungkook, he understood what the two of you were to each other. What you meant to Jungkook and what Jungkook meant to you. The two of you have barely been given a moment of peace since the beginning; there was always something waiting for you or Jungkook. Was this what a love like yours, a love so deep, had to conquer? It just did not seem fair to Jophiel.
Then something inside him finally gave way.
Jophiel has not cried in a very long time. and crying is not a common behaviour of Angels, tears were not usually a way for Angels to express what they feel. But Jophiel was also not, and has never been, a standard example of what angels were. He has spent too much time in other realms, including Kratos, and he has too many arrangements with beings his kind was not supposed to care about.
The tears were unexpected even to him.
Gabriel and Raphael did not dare to utter a single word. They stood at either side of Jophiel in the pale corridor and let the silence be, because there was nothing to say that would make it easier for Jophiel. So Jophiel held you and cried.
Jophiel thought about the first time he came to the North tower, where he found you in Jungkook’s old bedroom. You looked exhausted, yet so guarded too, like you were waiting for someone to talk to you yet you were determined to not let them see how close you were to breaking down. He thought about the books and the baskin robbins he brought from earth. Jophiel thought about all the afternoons he spent with you, the conversations the two of you had and the questions you asked him.
He then thought about Jungkook, his oldest friend or 'frenemy'. Jungkook was there for Jophiel through more things than Jophiel could count. Although Jungkook would never mention it, he understood Jophiel without needing him to explain his train of thoughts.
And then you came into Jungkook’s life and Jophiel saw things he never thought Jungkook could ever experience. Jungkook who stood outside your door for weeks, refusing to leave you even when he thought there was nothing he could do except wait. Jungkook, the Demon prince, who begged for the Human-turned-Demon’s forgiveness. Jungkook who possibly became the first Demon to ever cry, the first Demon to become so aware of his feelings that he cried.
Jophiel thought about how lucky his friend was to have you, because somehow, loving you had brought Jungkook to a place no Demon was supposed to reach.
And because of you, Jungkook is now more powerful than any Demon had ever been.
Jophiel thought about the two of you, his dearest and most complicated friends, one of whom was fighting a war at a Kratos border and one of whom was in his arms without a pulse, and The Ancient One was the only answer anyone was going to give him.
Jophiel wiped his face and forced himself to breathe and let himself feel what he was feeling. You were still in his arms and there would be plenty of time for Jophiel to fall apart later.
But right now, Jophiel had to do something. Then Jophiel turned to look at your body in his arms as he called out, "The Ancient One.”
He said it quietly, without any of the old prayers that he was taught to recite when calling for The Ancient One. Jophiel was just hoping that somehow, somewhere, The Ancient One would hear how badly he was begging.
Summary: Spending the day with Jungkook and little Juni couldn't have been more perfect. Your first outing as a "family".
Pairing: f!reader (30) x Single Dad Jungkook (33) (Arranged Marriage Slow Burn?)
Word Count: 10.3k (I'm sorry this took me eight months to get out 😭)
a/n: This chapter is so squishy and adorable and ahh I love them so much so I hope you enjoy~
p.s. Wattpad (where I write/save all my stories) is being a little bitch so it didn't save all my last minute edits so I'm sorry if there are still some typos 🫠
"Okay Salem I'll be home later" I call out but then find him sitting in his cat tree, leaving me scratching him between his ears and giving him a quick kiss before leaving for the day.
Jungkook had texted me this morning and asked if we could meet up at the store around 10am so we could shop around before they take me out to lunch...and because Juni was too excited to wait.
I take one last look in the mirror and give myself a pep talk before bidding Salem a final goodbye and making my way over to our meeting place.
Once I pull into the parking lot I check the time and see that I'm a half an hour early which thankfully gives me a chance to cool off a bit before meeting with them.
Just as I'm about to reapply my chapstick though I see little Juni practically skipping down the walkway while holding Jungkook's hand, speaking to her in a gentle manner and no doubt telling her to be careful.
I hurriedly apply my chapstick and check myself out in my mirror one last time before taking a deep breath and getting out of the car.
While walking towards them I don't make an effort to call out to them or bring attention to myself but I'm caught once Juni turns her little pigtailed head my way.
"Daddy, Daddy!" she says, tugging on his pant leg to get him to turn around to face me, his casual outfit of a white tee, black jeans and a light wash denim jacket paired with his soft charming smile almost making me lose my footing.
I can't start physically falling for him...yet.
Juni tugs on his pant leg and asks him to crouch down to her level so she can whisper in his ear and when she does Jungkook smiles and nods his head making her squeal in delight and come running towards me as fast as she can.
"Juni be careful!" he calls after her but she could hardly hear him over her determination to get to me first. "Ms. y/n!" she says once she gets close enough and wraps her arms around my legs, making me stumble back.
Now this little one I'm okay falling for already.
"Hi Juni!" I say and she looks up at me and rests her chin against me with her arms still firmly wrapped around my legs. "How are you this morning my darling?" I ask and she giggles at the affectionate pet name.
"I'm good! Daddy has been telling me to be patient all morning but now that you're here I don't have to be patient anymore!" she says excitedly and I chuckle, her little ways of viewing the world being absolutely adorable.
"You ready to go get butterflies?" I ask and she finally lets go of me in favor of jumping up and down and chanting 'Yes yes yes' like she always does. "She's talked about nothing else but that all morning" Jungkook says, walking over to us and smoothing down Juni's excitement ruffled head of hair.
"Well that and you..." he says and my heart flutters, wondering what kind of conversations they might've had about me. "I've been looking forward to this too" I admit smiling at her and glancing up at Jungkook shyly before turning back towards her, my heart unable to handle him just yet.
"Daddy?" Juni says after having calmed down her excited jumping, "Yes Juni?" he asks and the next words that come out of her mouth send my mind into overdrive, forgetting the conversation we had last night.
"Should I call Ms. y/n Mommy today?" she asks and Jungkook hums and nods his head. "Go ahead and ask her if she's okay with that" he says, making sure that I'm still comfortable with it before she gets too carried away.
"Can I call you Mommy today?" she asks, her puppy dog eyes being far too difficult to resist. "If you want to" I say and she smiles widely and spins around, her cute little summer dress fanning out accompanied by and adorable jean jacket and white sandals. Matching with her daddy but when I look down at what I'm wearing I realized I've also worn a jean jacket along with my dress.
"We're already dressed like a family" Jungkook teases and I chuckle nervously nodding my head and glancing over at him. "It's like it was meant to be" I say and when I see his playful expression show a flash of surprise I know I've caught him off guard by my response.
"Yeah...meant to be" he says quietly, smiling softly before crouching down to Juni's height. "You ready to go?" he asks and she nods her head and grabs his hand, reaching out to take mine as well. "Lead the way" he says to me and I nod, doing as he says and walking towards the store Juni has been dying to see.
'Mariposa' is a quaint interior design boutique full of everything coquette and frilly, a little girl's dream come true. Light pinks and purples with baby blues and soft yellows are some of the prominent colors, each having their own corresponding areas.
Shelves and displays full of decor, whimsical looking lamps and mirrors, bookends that look as though they were plucked out of a romance novel, rugs and throw blankets in various colors styles and textures with an overall warm and fuzzy feeling to them cover the entire existence of this store and Juni couldn't look happier.
There's a smaller area that resembles somewhat of a kid's corner and she spots it right away, looking up at Jungkook for permission. "No running and don't pick up things that look too big or are breakable okay?" he says and she nods her head, determined to follow the rules no matter how excited she might get.
"Alright go ahead" he says and she smiles and walks over but from the way she's carrying herself I can tell that she's definetly having a lot of difficulty holding back. "Everything that's breakable in the kid's corner is usually out of reach so she should be okay as long as she doesn't wander off on her own" I tell him and he nods, his eyes still observing her as we trail behind.
I touch the various rugs, blankets and little scarfs here and there, the urge to feel the different textures something I've always had since I was young. I stop when something catches my eye, a little music box, similar to the one I used to have when I was a little girl.
Walking over to it I don't even notice that Jungkook has decided to follow me, opting to glance over at Juni every once in a while to make sure she stays out of trouble. She flitters around in the aisle across from ours, excited to see all the different little bits and bobs she could get to decorate her room.
She's a big girl now so it's her turn to start taking part in it too which I'm sure takes somewhat of a weight off his shoulders. Something about him though makes me think he's rather enjoyed choosing the adorable theme she no doubt has already.
"You like that one?" he asks, his voice startling me to the point that I quickly pull my hands away from the box. "I'm sorry" he chuckles when he sees that I've placed a hand over my chest as if I was making sure my heart hadn't jumped out of it.
"No that's okay, I thought you had gone over to look after Juni" I say and he hums and turns his head to watch her, me following his gaze in return. "I've got my eye on her" he says and turns back to face me, his smile warm and gentle, not necessarily flirtatious but makes my heart flutter just as much.
"It reminds me of the one I used to have when I was a little girl" I say, turning back towards the item in question, my fingers running along the edges and contemplating if it's something I'd like to get. When I open it a tune similar to the one from my childhood starts to play and the next thing I hear are the footsteps from a little Juni headed our way.
"Can I see? Can I see?" she says, not with impatience but more with excitement, the little ballerina inside catching her eye right away. "Sure Juni" I say, taking it off the shelf, crouching down to her level and holding out to her, Jungkook reminding her to look and not touch.
She smiles and makes a funny face in the little built in mirror before focusing her attention back on the dancer, watching as she does a countless number of pirouettes inside. She decides to give it a try, spinning but getting dizzy and losing her footing quite quickly making her stumble.
"Good job Juni!" I praise, Jungkook helping steady her on her feet again. She smiles and gives me a big hug, making me the one that's almost tipping over but Jungkook grabs my shoulders and steadies me as well, an affectionate smile on his face as he watches the scene play out.
"Mommy what kind of dancer is that?" Juni asks when she pulls back, watching the little dancer spin round and round inside. Jungkook sees my surprised reaction when she decides to call me Mommy again and so he jumps in and answers for me.
"She's a ballerina" he says and she tries the word out quietly to herself before repeating it. "I wanna be a ba-ller-ina!" she stumbles over the word, her face lit up and her eyes so full of hope, not knowing how much time and dedication she'd have to put in if she wants to stick with it.
I think if any child were able to do it, it would be Juni...not that I'm biased or anything.
"Yeah? You wanna take ballet lessons and wear a little tutu like her?" he says, getting down to her level as well, pointing out the skirt and she giggles in delight soon turning into squeals once Jungkook starts to tickle her.
She squirms and wiggles about, finally getting out of his hold and decides to hide behind me, having enough of the tickle monster that's come out to play.
I can see him physically pout, his shoulders slumping and his bottom lip jutted out, clearly aimed to make her feel guilty for choosing me over him. When I look back at her and she looks between the two of us I nod my head as a way to encourage her to go back to her Daddy.
She tentatively steps out from behind me and once she sees Jungkook's puppy dog eyes begging her to come back. She quickly rushes over, almost knocks him down this time, with him being a little bit more prepared than I was.
"That's my girl" he coos, a proud and lovable look on his face making me smile at the sight but when he looks up at me I nervously look away, knowing that I looked like a lovestruck goofball no doubt but he merely chuckles and turns his attention back to her.
"Now Juni make sure you get a really good look at what you see here and figure out...three things that you wanna get for your room today" he says, stopping to think for a second on the limit he's giving her and I can see a mischievous look on her face knowing she's up to something.
"Can I pick out four things since I'm four years old?" she argues, the sheer amount of items in the store being hard to narrow down to just three things. "No Juni, I said three and three is plenty" he argues and I decide to crouch down in front of Juni again and whisper something in her ear.
"Daddy, Mommy said I could get four things!" she declares without giving him context. "I said I would buy her the fourth" I chuckle, watching as she skips back over to the kid's corner, inspecting anything and everything to add them to the running.
"You don't have to do that" he assures me, both of us standing up from our crouched position after our little negotiation with Juni. "But I want to. Plus I'm the one that brought you both here so I was planning on getting her something anyways" I say and he smiles, nodding as a form of acceptance.
"You're so good to her" he says, and we both look over at her but what I don't notice is how he's turned his attention back to me while I've still got my eyes on her. "How could I not? She's just so..." I start but once I look back at Jungkook I see a look that makes me lose my words, something that I wasn't sure of but it's hard to deny now.
"So...what?" he asks, urging me to continue as if he was hanging onto every word. "So..." I say but I still struggle to put two and two together. Luckily Juni comes to my rescue when we hear a quiet yelp from her as a dozen heart shaped pillows come tumbling down on her.
"Juni" Jungkook chuckles as he walks over to her shaking his head with a smile on his face when he hears her giggling underneath all of them. "Are you okay love?" I ask after helping him dig her out of the pile. "I'm fine! It was fun!" she beams while Jungkook starts placing them back on the shelf that's just a little too high for her to reach properly.
"Why didn't you ask one of us for help?" he asks but she shrugs her shoulders. "I wanted to do it by myself but I guess I'm still too little" she sighs looking down at her little white sandals. I can't help but want to cheer her up since she seems to be getting a little embarrassed when she's seen the mess she's made.
I kneel down next to her and take both of her hands so she'll look at me and she does, a little puzzled expression on her face.
"You have the rest of your life to be a big girl so just enjoy your time being my cute little Jun Bug. Okay?" I say and she brightens up at the nickname, smiling wide before giving me another huge hug. This time I was ready for it though, preventing us from toppling over just like those pillows.
"Have you figured out what you want yet?" Jungkook asks, knowing that Juni is someone that can either make split second decisions or can take hours to figure something out.
"Mmm I want one of those heart pillows!" she says, jumping up again to reach for it but Jungkook places his hand on her head to keep her from doing it again and pulls one down for her.
"And I want the butterfly lights!" she points out the twinkling lights that are on display and Jungkook takes a box of those off the top shelf.
"And the butterfly stickers!" she says, pointing out the window sticker decals that are easy to remove and so Jungkook ends up grabbing a few sets of those. He spoils her I chuckle to myself.
"Okay Juni and what would you like me to get you?" I ask, this time letting her pretty little head think about it a little more, being mindful and making sure she spends the money wisely.
"Ooo I know!" she says and skips down the aisle over to the shelf with the music boxes.
"Can I get the ballerina Mommy? Please?" she asks, jumping up and down, pointing at it excitedly. "Sure baby, you can get the music box" I nod and she spins around excitedly, trying to mimic the ballerina's pirouettes again.
"You done looking Juni?" Jungkook asks, breaking her out of the dance recital she no doubt had been performing in her head. "Uh huh! Does that mean I can get some mac and cheese now?" she asks, apparently being one of the selling points for her today.
"It's still a bit early baby" he checks his watch, seeing that it's just barely quarter past ten, the need to fill up space giving me an idea.
"There's a kid's cafe down the street if you'd like to go there? They have a whole play area with a little play grocery store and a place for dress up. I think she'd love it" I suggest, quiet enough so Juni won't here so he can make the decision without being the bad guy if he decides against it.
"You wanna go play Juni?" Jungkook asks, bringing her attention back over to him since she's wandered off the tiniest bit to look at the cute pink lamps with just as pink lampshades.
"Play? Play where?" she asks, looking around and not seeing any place in the store where she possibly would be allowed to play.
"Mommy said there's a kid's cafe where you can play close by" he asks and her eyes light up at the idea. "Really? Can we go now?" she asks practically yanking me out of the store since I'm the one who holds that precious information as to the location.
"As soon as we're finished paying we'll put the stuff in the car and then go. Can you wait in line with us like a big girl?" he asks and although I can tell she's a little sad we can't go right now she puts on a determined face and nods her head.
"Mommy can you pick me up?" she asks, reaching up for me and I look over at Jungkook who shifts all the stuff he's holding to one arm and holds his hand out to take the music box so I can do so.
"Sure Jun Bug" I smile, handing said music box to Jungkook and picking her up once he's got it, noticing how his hand purposefully brushes up against mine.
"Can you tell me more about where we're going?" she asks excitedly, holding onto my shoulders to steady herself. "Sure baby. It's got a place where you can dress up and a mini pretend school and grocery store and house with a little kitchen. It even has a ball pit and a trampoline!" I say making her eyes widen more and more with every word that comes out of my mouth.
"Really? I get to play with all of that?" she gasps, already bouncing in my arms from the sheer excitement of it all. "Yep you get to play with all of that. It's the weekend though so there are probably going to be a lot of kids there so can you promise me you'll be nice?" I say, holding my pinky up for her and she nods and tries to wrap her little one around mine making me coo.
"And you're going to take turns with the other kids and listen to Mommy and Daddy?" I ask and she nods even harder as a way to show she means serious business. "I promise I'll be the best listener and be the best Jun Bug for Mommy and Daddy" she giggles after using the new nickname.
"That's our girl" Jungkook says, a lovesick look on his face at the scene unfolding in front of him.
Our girl.
That subtle change, although small means a lot to all of us, for more reasons than one. It hasn't even been twenty four hours since our little plan was hatched and everything in me just wishes this was real.
That this family was real.
That Jungkook and I were real...
"All ready?" Jungkook asks, Juni having rested her head on my shoulder after having our little chat, the excitement from this morning already catching up to her. "Yep, you ready Juni?" I ask and she nods, wrapping her arms around my neck, closing her eyes to get a little power nap in before we go.
"Is it her nap time?" I ask, rubbing her back but Jungkook shakes his head.
"No but she did get up really early this morning. She couldn't fall back asleep because she was so excited" he chuckles and tilts his head to catch a glance at her almost sleeping face. "Maybe we should let her rest in the car for a little bit, we can sit in the front seat and relax as well until she wakes up. Unless you really wanted to go to that kid's cafe right now?" he teases and I roll my eyes.
"Let's let her nap for a while and if she's still up for it when she wakes up then we can go either before or after lunch" I suggest and he nods, opening the door for Juni and I before leading the way to his car that isn't parked too far from Mariposa.
I hand him Juni carefully when he sits in the back seat, letting her nap in her carseat and covering her with a blanket in case she gets chilly, his time and attention with her is something that makes him even more attractive.
This time I'm not scared to think something like that. This time I truly can think it without hesitation...still working my way up to speaking it though.
I step to the side when he starts to get out with him quietly closing the door behind him, placing his hand on my lower back to go around me so he can open my door which I wordlessly thank him for before getting in.
When he rounds the car to his seat I'm already looking back at Juni and her adorable sleeping face, one of her cheeks resting against the carseat making me coo at her partially squished face.
"She looks so peaceful" I smile and glance at Jungkook and he smiles while looking at her through his rearview mirror. "Yeah, she takes up a lot of attention when she's awake so it's always nice to have a little bit of a break when she's sleeping" he admits and I can see how she could be a little overwhelming at times.
"At least she's cute" I chuckle lightening the mood and he hums. "She's got good genes" he says so off handedly that I hum in agreement as well, leaving my brain only catching up about thirty seconds later.
"So you agree?" he chuckles making me sit in my seat properly and look out the window, hopefully aiding in hiding how embarrassed I am, my reaction counteractively calling me out.
"I mean yeah, her mother was really pretty in the pictures you showed me yesterday" I say, still looking away from him. "Just her mother?" he taunts as if he knows I would never disagree.
"Her father as well" I mumble and he chuckles. "You think I'm pretty?" and at that I'm turning around to explain myself.
"I mean- What I was going to say was- That isn't exactly what I meant but I-" "It's fine y/n. I know what you meant" the corner of his lips turning up, making me wish I could die on the spot.
Why does he have to have so much control over me?
We talk comfortably after that, getting to know each other a little more but before we're able to get too deep Juni starts to stir, soon opening her half lidded doe eyes.
"Good morning Juni" I tease and she rubs her eyes. "Good morning mommy" she says through a yawn. It's adorable to see that even in her sleepy state she still seems to remember our little game of pretend.
"You ready to go play?" Jungkook asks and she nods, doing a big stretch and lazily climbing out of her car seat, sinking down into the seat next to her. A lazy riser huh? I wonder if Jungkook is the same.
Jungkook and I get out of the car after observing Juni's efforts of waking up for just a little while longer. He carries Juni until we're back on the sidewalk, putting her on her feet again so she can start walking as a way to help her wake up.
"You remember where we're going?" Jungkook asks and she nods, "I get to play dress up right?" she yawns and I hum to confirm. "You can have a snack too if you'd like?" I offer and she gives me her sleepy order of mac and cheese and banana milk.
"Would you be alright if we just had lunch there? I don't mind grabbing our order from the place we had planned to go to and bringing it back" Jungkook offers, seeing Juni has more than just a snack in mind.
"You don't have to go all the way there if you don't want to. They have plenty of options there so I'm sure we could figure out something or other. As long as you're not interested in getting anything too fancy" I say and he smiles at that.
"Hey if they've got chicken strips and french fries on the menu I'm set" he jokes and I can't help but laugh, "Good to know".
After crossing one more little street we finally find ourselves in front of the kid's cafe.
"Woah! This is quite the place. How did I not know we had something like this in the city?" he asks, taking it all in.
"It's not a super popular one since the other's I've seen are mostly focused around VR or electronics in general. I like this one though because it's focused on kids playing with actual toys so it gives them a brain break if they happened to be using electronics during the day. That doesn't seem to be Juni's case though since she seems to be way more interested in what's going on around her" I say and watch as she rubs her eyes again when we get in, now being big and round so she can take in her surroundings as quickly as possible.
"That's a very nice way of saying she's nosy" Jungkook says as we walk over to one of the tables closest to the dress up area that's right next to the pretend neighborhood including little houses, a hospital, a school house and the grocery store along with little shopping carts.
"She's not nosy she's observant" I chuckle and soon Juni is basically tugging Jungkook's arm out of his socket to get his attention, her excitement tenfold now.
"Can I go play daddy? Please please please!" she asks, jumping up and down like she always does, her whole demeanor taken over by excitement. "Sure baby. Mommy's gonna stay at the table here and watch you while I go get us food okay?" Jungkook says with Juni saying an enthusiastic 'Okay!' before running off to go explore.
"You okay watching her?" he asks, pretty sure I would say yes but double checking anyways, "Sure, they'll bring the food to our table so don't feel like you have to wait around up there afterwards" I say and he smiles.
"Dying for me to come back already?" he taunts and I roll my eyes. "No I just figured it would be nicer to tell you than leave you standing there aimlessly" I explain and he smiles and nods, not believing me for a second.
He heads off to do what he had informed Juni he'd do after taking my order as well, coming back a few minutes later.
"Seems like we practically have the place to ourselves" he says taking a seat next to me so we can both keep an eye out for Juni. "It's still relatively early for lunch so I'm sure in about an hour or so people will start to trickle in" I say and he hums.
"How do you know so much about this place?" he asks, the second half of his question withheld since he knew I wanted and had tried to have children in the past.
"This was my first job. I used to work here part time during my junior year of high school and just continued on until I started to get internship opportunities in college" I explain leaving him nodding his head.
"So that's why you told me your order in explicit detail huh? You know all about the secret menu items" he chuckles and I shrug. "I guess you could say that" I smile and watch as Juni runs up to us.
"Daddy they have a ball pit!" she squeals and climbs onto Jungkook's lap. "That's so cool! You'll have to show me after we've eaten okay?" he says, no doubt using this as a form of bribery to get her to eat since it's gonna be difficult to calm her down at this rate.
"Okay!" she says and it seems to be perfect timing since our order is brought out seconds later.
After the server sets down our order and goes through the motions of asking us if we need anything else his mechanical question stutter when he makes eye contact with me.
"Noona?" he asks, blinking a few times to see if he's gotten it right. "Damien?" I say, my reaction similar as I see my old coworker. "Oh my gosh it really is you! How are you? How have you been?" he asks excitedly, seemingly forgetting Jungkook and Juni's existence.
"I'm good thanks! And you? What, has it been like eight years?" I say, remembering the last time I set foot in this place I had just turned twenty two. "Yeah just about!" he says and Juni can't hold herself back from jumping into the conversation.
"Hi I'm Juni!" she says, waving to him and he startles a little bit by her loud voice. "Why hello Juni" he smiles, always having been good with kids, a requirement when working at a place that caters to little ones.
"Is she your's?" he asks, trailing off. "This is my mommy, and this is my daddy!" Juni says, sensing the question and bringing Jungkook into the equation.
"Oh I'm so sorry I was caught off guard after seeing her. Damien" Damien says, holding his hand out for Jungkook to shake in introduction which he does, his grip a bit firmer than I had expected making Damien pull his hand back pretty quickly.
"Jungkook" is all he says in return leaving Damien nodding and clearing his throat before going back to me.
"I had heard you got married a couple of years back but I wasn't sure" he says and when he looks down and sees my naked ring finger Jungkook grabs my hand and rubs his thumb along it.
"The diamond in her ring was loose so we took it into the jeweler's today" he comes up with an excuse as if it was easy as breathing.
"Right well if you guys need anything then just let me know" Damien says and excuses himself quickly at that.
Jungkook watches him until he's gone back into the kitchen and turns back to face me, an amused look on my face.
"What?" he asks with his brows furrowed.
"Nothing" I say and shrug my shoulders before taking a drink of the milk tea he got me. "No tell me" he says and I can't help myself from chuckling a bit. "Nothing I just didn't pin you as the jealous type" I say and his jaw drops.
"Excuse me? I am not jealous" he counters and I shake my head. "Then what was up with that cold shoulder you were giving him? I've never seen you speak to anyone like that before" I point out the obvious and he shrugs it off.
"You haven't seen me speak to a lot of people" and I hum. "Still, it seemed pretty out of character for you. Plus you were quick to jump with an excuse as to why I'm not wearing a wedding ring" I say and look down at where he's still holding my hand to which he lets go of right away as if I'd burned him.
"I didn't want you to feel awkward and try to come up with an excuse since I had thought of one already" he grumbles and I laugh a little freer at that. "You are so jealous" I smile and he lets out a huff as his very mature response.
"What are you guys talking about?" Juni asks while still sat between us, her head having turned this way and that while listening to our conversation.
"Nothing Juni I'm just teasing daddy" I smile and poke her cheek, making her giggle and go back to drinking her banana milk.
After Jungkook sends me a glare that soon breaks into a smile we both can't help but laughing, the absurdity of the situation comical.
The three of us being a fake family with my fake husband getting jealous or at least possessive over his fake wife.
We're well aware that the lines are getting blurry now but I guess like he said last night.
I don't mind blurry lines when it comes to him.
~~~~~
After we've finished up at the Kid's cafe and Juni is skipping out of there, still bubbly with excitement. I start to get a little disheartened though, realizing that this is where we part ways but before either of us can say anything Jungkook gets a phone call.
"Mom?" he says, answering the call and asking me to look after Juni since she's again found a little butterfly to chase.
Jungkook hangs back to take the call but after a minute or two he's making his way back over, ending the call with his mom and I only catch the tail end of the conversation.
"Yes I promise I'll ask her. I gotta go though. I'll drop Juni off with you guys on my way" he ends the call and my ears can't help but start to burn, wondering if that 'her' could be me.
"Sorry about that. My mom was asking if she could have Juni tonight" he explains which I pretty much got the gist of from my eavesdropping.
"No worries, I have a feeling Juni is gonna talk her ear off all night so I hope she's ready for that" I chuckle, imagining how excited Juni is going to get when she recounts the events of today and relays them to her grandma.
"She knows I'm with you so my guess is she's going to be the one asking Juni all the questions" he chuckles, both of us very well aware of the mischief our mothers are getting up to behind our backs, and in front of our backs honestly since they're not slick about it at all.
"Um, speaking of tonight" he starts, the tips of his ears getting red, rubbing the back of his neck nervously as I've begun to notice is a bit of a habit of his. "Did you happen to be free?" he asks, a fluttering feeling in my stomach but I do my best to hide that fact.
"Yeah actually I am" I smile but try to be casual about it. "Why?" I ask, giving him the opportunity to continue.
"Well I don't really get too many Juni free nights so I was wondering if you would be interested in going to dinner. With me. Just me" he says, his nervous way of asking is adorable. He makes it very clear without actually saying it that he's asking me out and not using Juni as a buffer between us this time.
"Just you?" I chuckle and smile up at him which has him returning my smile and nodding. "I'd love to" I respond before Juni brings us back down to earth by tugging on my dress. "Yes Juni?" I say, a little flustered still after having accepted his invitation.
"What are you guys doing? And why is daddy's face so red?" she points out and when I try to look back up at him he turns away making me smile.
"Grandma just called and asked if you could spend the night" I say taking the heat off of Jungkook for now and Juni's eyes light up.
"Would you like that?" I chuckle and she does her cute little chants of 'yes' over and over again. "I can show her all of the things I got today!" she gasps when she remembers all of the new things we got at Mariposa making me smile and nod.
"You'll be able to show her in the morning Juni. We've gotta put it all up in your room, remember?" Jungkook chimes in and she sighs. "Can I at least bring the pillow I got? Please!" she practically begs and Jungkook nods.
"Sure Jun Bug" he smiles with me mirroring his expression after I realize he's adopted the nickname I came up with.
"What time should I pick you up?" Jungkook turns his attention back to me after having ruffled Juni's hair. "Pick her up for what?" Juni chimes in making me chuckle but before I can come up with a response Jungkook crouches down giving her a very honest answer.
"I'm taking mommy out to dinner" he whispers not so quietly in her ear. "I wanna go!" she jumps up and down again. "But you're going to grandma's house remember?" I say, trying to distract her with that fact and although I can tell that she's still excited about it she wilts a little.
"But I wanna go" she says in pout making me crouch down in front of her right along with Jungkook.
"How about this?" I say, taking one of her hands, "If you're a good girl for the rest of the day and daddy is okay with it then maybe you can come with daddy to pick me up and we'll both go with you to grandma's house to drop you off. Does that sound good?" I ask and although she's still a little sad about it she compromises with a little nod.
"Good" I say and poke her little tummy getting a giggle out of her before I stand and scoop her up, carrying her back to the car with her cuddling up close seemingly not wanting to let go just yet.
Jungkook opens Juni's door for me and I climb inside, plopping her down into her carseat and helping her buckle up but her mouth is still set in a pout making me squish her little lips together.
"You and I will get to spend some time together again soon okay?" I reassure her and she nods, still a little sad but I can see a hint of a smile tugging on her lips. "Maybe we can go back to that park so you can play with that little boy again?" I say and that's what finally gets her smile to shine through.
"There she is. My happy little Jun Bug" I smile and she giggles at that. "I like that name!" she beams. "Good," I say and lean in close to whisper to her "because I think daddy is gonna copy me now and call you that too" I say and she chuckles before I give her a hug and a kiss on her chubby little cheeks.
"I'll see you later okay?" I say and she smiles and waves. "Bye pretty lady" she waves, easily breaking out of our little game of pretend. "Bye Jun Bug" I chuckle and close the car door, startled slightly when I see that Jungkook's still hovering nearby.
"Sorry" he chuckles when he's seen my reaction but I shake my head and lean up against the car. "All good, I scare easily" I laugh awkwardly and he hums, "I hope that's not the case for very much longer" he says and walks around to his side of the car with me following after him.
"What?" I ask but he gives no clarification, "What time should we come get you?" he asks taking me from one topic to the other, both of which make me nervous. "Does seven work?" I ask and he nods. "Seven is perfect" he smiles and I return one back with him quickly saying goodbye when he hears Juni calling for him.
"Should probably get her home now but I'll see you then?" he asks and I nod, telling him I'll text him my address before he gives me one more soft smile and closes his car door, backing out with me shamelessly watching the way he moves.
I swear I am no better than a man.
~~~~
After going back to my apartment and obsessing over what I'm going to wear for the past hour or so I settle on a little black dress. Nothing too fancy but enough to see that I put in some effort. I feel confident in this dress though because it makes me feel sexy without having to show too much skin and I hope that's something he'll appreciate.
I decide to go for a bit of a darker look to add to the confidence this dress is giving me, alluring but not too over the top. Just enough to put a line between my day and night look to keep things interesting.
Soon after I've added the finishing touches I hear a soft chime from my phone with a text from him letting me know they're on their way making me smile.
When I look at my reflection though I notice that I've forgotten to pick out what jewelry to wear. When I'm not able to make a choice though I get an idea and lay them out neatly before deciding to wait for them to arrive in the living room, to which happens about ten minutes later.
I stand up and walk over to the door but my smile is soon accompanied by a chuckle when a new excitable and awkward set of knocks accompanies the rhythmic pattern just seconds ago, no doubt one belonging to each of them.
"Mommy!" Juni says as soon as I open the door, her wrapping her arms around both of my legs making me stumble back, a strong pair of hands suddenly following, resting on my waist to keep me steady.
"Hi Juni" I chuckle but when I look up at the owner of said hands I might've let my knees buckle without the help of Juni if left to my own devices.
"Um hi" I say to him, the distance between us a lot smaller than I had anticipated. "Hi, you look...um...wow!" he says, stumbling over his words making me smile, happy to know I'm not the only one.
"Yeah...you too" I respond and we're broken out of our bubble with a giggle from the excited little Juni Bean between us.
"You look so pretty mommy" she gasps once she backs up and takes a look at me, noticing the way her father has his eyes set on me.
"I think daddy likes your dress" she giggles and switches to clinging to Jungkook's leg making him the one who's stumbling. "Yeah I um, yeah I do. You look incredible" he says, his hands having been taken off my waist from the surprise of Juni's victim switching to him so suddenly.
"Thank you" I say sheepishly but then trip over my words, inviting them in after I've realized I've kept us all standing in the doorway.
"Sorry, please make yourself at home" I say and lead them over to the couch that Juni immediately climbs up on and bounces happily from her seated position.
"Juni" I call out for her attention and she looks up at me with her galaxy eyes, giving me all of her attention. "Can I have your help for a second?" I ask and she gasps, not having expected the request at all. "Me?" she squeals, soon scrambling off the couch and I chuckle and nod my head.
"Yes you, unless theres some other Juni running around here" I say and take a look around leaving her giggling and running up to me. "I'm the only one!" she says and quickly grabs my hand, waiting for me to lead her with Jungkook soon making moves to stand as well.
"It's okay, we'll be back in a sec" I say and he reluctantly sits back down. "Are you sure? She can be a bit of a handful when she's excited" he says, watching the way she's clearly trying to control herself but I nod and smile while she sways her little dress back and forth.
"Juni listen to mommy okay?" he says and she echos his 'okay' and waits for me to lead the way.
Walking down the hallway I bring her into my bathroom to pick out my jewelry for the night and after her very thoughtful means of deduction she's come up with a decision, picking out a perfect pairing of a necklace and earrings which I immediately agree to making her eyes light up as brightly as her smile.
She watches as I put the earrings on but when I try to put the necklace on she stops me. "Daddy always helps me put on my necklaces so let's go ask him to help you!" she says and jumps off the little stool I had her standing on, running to go get him.
I try to keep my racing heart in check, thinking about the feeling of his hands on me as he puts this delicate chain around my neck. I'm not allotted much time though as she's already pulling him back into the bathroom a minute or two later.
"Juni said you needed help?" he asks, looking at me through the mirror making me turn around and face him, looking at his reflection somehow even more intimidating. "Yeah could you help me put this on?" I ask holding it up to him which he takes with a smile, softly telling me to turn around so he can do so.
His fingers are quick and practiced but I can tell he's brushing them against my skin a bit more than necessary, making goosebumps rise all over.
After he's closed the clasp he chances sliding his hands from the back of my neck to my shoulders, looking at me through the mirror and giving me a soft smile.
"You look beautiful" he whispers as if he wanted to keep that moment sacred for the two of us with Juni soon bringing us back to reality, reminding us it'll be between the three of us with her cute little giggle.
"Daddy likes you Mommy" she points out leaving me quickly poking her little tummy to get some more giggles out of her to distract from pointing out the obvious to the two of us.
After her giggles have died down though she flips it on me. "Do you like Daddy too?" she asks, her doe eyes looking between the two of us, her lips already cracking into a smile. Leaving me crouching down to her level and whispering 'Yes' in her ear making her eyes light up before she starts giggling again.
"Alright Juni it's time to go to grandma's house" Jungkook says before she's able to sabotage the night further with the adorable way she likes to put the both of us on the spot. "But I wanna stay with Mommy" she pouts and trudges towards the front door, knowing her grumbling isn't gonna get her anywhere with him this time.
"Shall we?" he asks and I smile softly, leading him out of my bedroom and back into the living room where we see Juni is sitting on the floor watching and waiting quietly while Salem does the same, the two of them sizing each other up.
"Salem, come say hi to Juni" I say, leaving him walking over to her tentatively still, sniffing her little hand she's put out to him. No doubt something Jungkook's taught her to do.
"He likes me!" she smiles as he sniffs her hand, giggling when his whiskers tickle her.
"Daddy can we get a kitty too? Please?" she asks, her love for animals so endearing. "I don't know Juni, having a pet is a big responsibility" he says and I can tell the answer at least for now is going to be no so I decide to soften the blow.
"You can come play with Salem whenever Daddy brings you by. How does that sound?" I offer and her eyes light up. "Can we play right now?" she asks, excitement bubbling but Jungkook takes on the role of the bad guy again telling her we have to get going.
"Next time baby, okay?" Jungkook says and Juni nods her head although it's already drooping.
"Say goodbye to Salem and let's go see grandma. I bet she has something really fun planned for you" I say excitedly, trying to bring that smile back to her face.
"Like what?" she asks, her face going from pouty to curious. "I guess we'll just have to go and find out" I say as I boop her nose making her giggle again.
She reaches up, wordlessly asking me to carry her to the car which I gladly do, scooping her up in my arms and spinning her around.
As a result I, unknowingly, do a little twirl for Jungkook, him having had his eyes on me for a while and is enjoying taking in the view.
Not just because of his attraction to me physically but because he loves seeing the blossoming friendship between Juni and I, making it even harder for him to look away.
"Okay Jun Bug time to go" Jungkook says making a fluttering feeling fly in my chest, loving the way he's adopted the nickname.
"Ready?" he asks and I nod, walking over to the chair I had sat my things down on but he grabs my purse and keys since my arms are still preoccupied by a very wiggly Juni, seemingly happy to be in my arms.
I give him a shy smile and nod in thanks, letting him guide me out the door with a gentle hand on my back.
~~~~
Walking up to Jungkook's parent's house didn't seem all that intimidating in theory but it feels different seeing them in their own home instead of my parent's like I had a few nights ago.
"Grandma!" Juni calls out, running up to the front door, seeing as she's waiting for her right outside.
I smile while watching their interaction, having gotten out of the car but not moving a muscle just yet.
"Did you want to go inside?" Jungkook asks, drawing my attention back over to him. "Yeah, I want to say hi to your mom" I smile up at him and he nods, guiding me again with a gentle hand on the small of my back.
I try not to let it go to my head but it's been a while since I've had a gentleman treat me right. I know it sounds pathetic and it seems like I'm praising him for the bare minimum but after what I had been through with my ex husband I can't help but feel special.
"Hi Mrs. Jeon" I say shyly as Jungkook walks the both of us in, her attention having been on Juni since we got here.
"Wow, you look so beautiful honey. Jungkook you better be taking her somewhere nice if she's gone through all this trouble" she scolds him before he's had a chance to speak.
"It won't be as beautiful as her but I think I've got it covered" he says unabashedly, saying things that'll make me nervous and Mrs. Jeon smiles knowingly.
I can just imagine what kind of phone call her and my mother will be having once we're gone.
Soon after we're saying goodbye and although Juni looks sad seeing us go without her I know she'll have fun with her grandma tonight.
Jungkook leads me back down the pathway and opens the passenger door for me, now holding out his hand to offer me stability while I get in, playing the part of the perfect gentleman.
But then again, he always does.
~~~
The car ride to the restaurant is quiet, the absence of Juni palpable but Jungkook thankfully puts on some music at a low volume a couple minutes after we left to fill up that void.
"You think she'll be alright? Juni I mean" I say, still feeling guilty seeing her sad little face watching us go. "She'll be fine" Jungkook says, switching lanes carefully, turning down a street I usually don't go down, telling me wherever we're going is somewhere I've never been before.
"Plus, she'll get to go to the park with you again soon so she'll be alright" he reminds and I nod. "That's true. Did you have a certain day you'd like to do that? The little boy's parents said they usually go every day after school so we could go Monday?" I offer, today being Friday night and he nods, easily agreeing to it as we pull into the parking lot of a beautiful restaurant that's overlooking the river.
"How did you find this place?" I ask once he's opened the door for me, offering his hand to help me out, lacing his fingers through mine after I'm steady on my feet.
I swear, the more I spend time with him the more I feel like a teenager again, the simplest things making my heart flutter and cheeks burn.
"I did some research when I got home" he chuckles, looking over at me to watch my expression as we get closer. "It's perfect" I smile, getting nervous again when I see an almost smitten expression on his face.
My smile turns shy and when he notices my change in demeanor he decides not to mention it, leading us inside before either of us gets too nervous.
The decor is cozy, a color palette of neutrals accompanied by greenery and strings of Edison lights, a nice yet not too nice place. I'm sure he took that into account so as to not make it too romantic, not wanting to add on to the pressure our mothers are already putting on us.
The waiter leads us out onto the open air patio, decorative tower heaters placed sparsely throughout to protect against the cool spring chill so as to still afford us the opportunity to watch the way the city lights sparkle on the reflection of the river as the sun starts to set.
Jungkook pulls out my chair before settling down across from me, a small lantern lit with a small tea candle in the middle of the table to add a more cozy yet romantic light to the table setting.
Everything really is quite perfect.
"Are you warm enough?" he asks, noting the sleeveless nature of the silk dress I'm wearing but I nod. "I can feel the heater from here so I'll be alright" I say although I could've afforded bringing a jacket just in case.
He doesn't push it but I know he'll be watching me for the first sign of a chill.
~~~
"So, tell me your story" he says simply after we've ordered our meals, his focus trained on me, not having the excuse of looking at the menu anymore.
"My story?" I echo and he nods.
"How deep are we talking because I'm not sure all of it is first date appropriate, it might put a damper on the mood" I chuckle awkwardly.
"So this is a date?" he asks, the corner of his lips turning up.
"Isn't it?" I ask, my cheeks now heating up in embarrassment, not sure if I've misread this invitation.
"It is" he responds easily, clearly enjoying the reaction he's gotten out of me.
I clear my throat and look away from him, breaking up the tension that had started to build.
"My story huh? Well, I'm an only child and I've lived in this city my entire life. I'm divorced, which you know already and can be the topic of conversation at a later date if necessary and-"
"Okay let me rephrase that, tell me something about yourself that you would enjoy talking about. Fun facts like all those can be learned along the way" he says, making light of the awkward topic I'm always dancing around.
It's not something that I'm proud of and it's also something that I find really uncomfortable discussing, especially in a public setting like this and thankfully he notices right away.
"Well, photography for one but we've spoken about that topic before, plus I feel like it might just turn into shop talk" he nods in agreement, both of us working in the industry know it can go from casual to technical quite quickly.
Plus I'm pretty sure that's not something he's aiming to discuss.
"I love to paint. Does that count?" I offer up and he smiles, "That definetly counts"
~~~~~
We spend a majority of our time discussing what I like to paint over dinner, the color palettes I gravitate towards as well as the subject matters and he actively listens to all of it, asking questions and encouraging me to speak freely, seemingly entertained.
"I feel like I've been droning on for hours" I apologize, noticing that the both of us have finished our meals and I have yet to ask him much about himself. "I enjoyed it. I can tell you have a real passion for it" he smiles making me look away while I take a drink of my water to hide my expression.
Seeing him in this lighting now that the sun has gone down makes him somehow even more handsome...which I thought would be impossible but here we are.
"Would you like to order something else?" the waiter comes by collecting our plates, Jungkook looking to me for an answer but I shake my head. "We'll just take the check" he says and the waiter nods with a promise to return soon.
~~~~
"You kept me talking for so long I feel like I didn't get to ask you what your story is" I say as we walk side by side, him having asked if I'd like to take a walk around the river, draping his jacket around my shoulders before we started.
"My story huh? Well I was born in Busan, I have an adorable daughter named Juni I-"
"Adorable daughter aside, fun facts later, remember?" I interrupt him, giving him the same stipulations he gave me, clearly amusing him based off the smile he gives me.
"I love boxing" he says and I have to do my best not to swoon right then and there.
"Boxing huh? Like you boxing or watching boxing?" I ask for clarification. "Mostly just me, I don't mind watching a match every now and then but I like to experience the rush of it myself" I hum, staying casual about it.
"How long have you been boxing?" I ask and he takes a second to think before answering. "In all honesty I used it as an outlet after Julie" he says and I nod, letting him know there's no extra explanation needed.
"But after a while I genuinely began to enjoy it. The techniques, the timing and the agility needed when facing another opponent is something I'm always looking to perfect and improve" he explains and I do my best to actively listen like he did with me.
I understand now why he wanted to keep me talking back at the restaurant because watching him talk so animatedly about something he's passionate about has me just as invested.
"So the boxer and the ballerina huh?" I smile and he looks over at me a little confused. "Juni? Aren't you planning on signing her up for ballet lessons?" I ask and his lips make an 'o' shape and nods.
"Yeah, I forgot about that. I'll have to look around for a good studio" he ponders it quietly for a while.
"I could help if you'd like? I used to take lessons as a little girl at a studio across town. I wasn't as dedicated though so I only took a handful of lessons" I offer and he smiles. "You used to be a ballerina?" he smirks and I shake my head.
"I took a few lessons so I would never go as far as calling myself one but I could've been. I was just more interested in taking pictures of everything from the tiniest of bugs to the bright blue sky in my backyard. So my parents got me a camera and called it a day" I recount and he chuckles.
"Yeah my dad thought I was going to be a big sports junkie or something, signing me up for every sport you could imagine but it never really felt like my thing. So after a while he let me figure out what kind of hobby I wanted to pick up once he finally noticed" he explains, both of us having similar experiences.
"I'm just thankful he didn't push me too much like some parents do. I don't think I would've had as good of a relationship with him as I do now if that had been the case you know?" he confesses and I nod.
"Yeah there's been a strain on mine and my mom's relationship ever since I got divorced. She's always pressuring me to get back out there and find someone, saying that I'm wasting my youth on my career and...well I don't know. I know she means well but I wish she'd just be happy for me, happy that I'm living life on my own terms now" I say, having lived in Robert's shadow for so long.
He can see the change in my body language and steers us just the smallest bit away from it.
"And are you happy?" he asks and I stop, pausing to think about it and he stops as a result our hands having linked a while ago and turns to face me, waiting for my answer.
"I am" I smile up at him and I can see there's a hidden emotion behind the smile he returns to me. "I'm very happy with my life right now".
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Summary: Seeing him again happened sooner than you thought it would but absolutely no one is complaining.
Pairing: f!reader (30) x Single Dad Jungkook (33) (Arranged Marriage Slow Burn?)
Word Count: 9.8k
Warnings: Talking about Jungkook's wife who passed away in childbirth (Doesn't talk about her death but yeah)
a/n: Took me three months but we're finally here 😭 And if any of you saw me post this and delete it...no you didn't. I posted it on my reblogs account on accident so sorry if that teased you a bit 😅 Anyways I hope this was worth the wait 😭
p.s. I only read through this once when I completed it so have mercy on me if there are typos
I wake up naturally this morning and it's honestly one of the best feelings in my opinion. Not having to worry about being woken up out of a sound sleep shows me that it's going to be a good day.
As I yawn and rub the sleep out of my eyes I hear my phone vibrate on my nightstand, telling me I have a new message. I roll over and reach for it lazily to check and when I read the sender's name I immediately shoot up, causing Salem to dart off the bed. "Sorry Salem" I call after him but then when I go back to read the message my heart is already beating out of my chest.
'Good morning y/n I hope you slept well. How are you?' a simple yet inviting message from the man I just met last night. Who knew waking up to good morning texts would still feel this good at the ripe age of thirty?
'Good morning Jungkook! I slept like a baby, best sleep I've gotten in a while actually. I just woke up so, so far so good. How are you? How's Juni? Did you guys sleep alright?' I send and at a second glance I can see how completely whipped I am for this man already. Why am I rambling on and on about sleep? I could've just said 'I slept well, I hope you did as well' or something like that.
'That's good, I'm glad to hear! Juni and I slept alright. She actually only woke up an hour ago which is unheard of since she's usually knocking on my door at six am. She's been talking about you since she woke up' he sends back and my heart flutters, loving that I've made that big of an impression on her already.
I check the time and see that it's already nine am which is a record time for me to sleep as well since I'm usually up by seven most days. Then again it's not everyday that you get to spend the night with a man like him...
Wait! That's not what I meant!
'She can't stop talking about going shopping for butterflies so I wanted to see if we could set up a time soon. Maybe this weekend if you're free?' he suggests and I have to restrain myself from kicking my feet, just thinking about this man asking to see me again, disguised by his daughter wanting to get butterfly decorations for her room.
'This weekend sounds perfect! I'm free tomorrow as well so either day is fine' I offer up and face palm, scolding myself for being too eager. 'Tomorrow sounds great! Should we meet around eleven? Juni and I would love to take you out to lunch if you'd like. You know, to thank you for the help' he sends and I can't help but think that maybe he's a little nervous too.
'Eleven it is! Should I meet you guys there? There's a shop that I'm sure Juni will love and it'll definitely have what we're looking for!' I send and I can see the bubbles popping up to show that he's typing but they go up and down a couple more times. He'll type for a little and then stop and type again and I can only hope that I didn't say something wrong in suggesting where to go.
When a few minutes go by I decide it's best to get out of bed and get a cup of coffee. That'll wake up my brain a little more and help me hopefully not make as much of a fool of myself while texting him.
I find Salem perched on top of his cat tree, still a little jumpy from me having scared him but I think it's made him playful more than anything as I watch his tail flick back and forth while he watches me walk up to him.
"I'm sorry for scaring you" I apologize again, scratching his between his ears but when I feel my phone vibrating over and over in my hand I jump again making him climb down off his cat tree and scurry under the couch. I sigh and scold myself as a result before taking a look at my phone, seeing an incoming call from Jungkook.
I almost drop it after reading his name but catch and answer before I end up dropping it.
"Hello?" I ask, slightly out of breath from the scare but try to hide it as best as I can. "Hi pretty lady!" I hear Juni call out in the distance, the phone no doubt on speaker phone. "Good morning Juni! How are you little one?" I ask, feeling more at ease talking to her first and my question awards me with a little giggle before she continues.
"I'm good! Daddy says we're going to a special store to pick out the butterflies for my room! Is that right?" she asks, clear excitement laced all throughout her tone. "Yes that's right Juni we are! Does that sound alright to you?" I ask and I can clearly hear how she's jumping from excitement from how punctuated her voice sounds now as she chants "Yes" over and over again.
"I wish we could go right now!" she says, her excitement too difficult to contain at the moment which makes me smile knowing that she wants to go right away.
"Patience Juni, tomorrow isn't too far away" I hear Jungkook's voice coming through now and it makes my breath hitch, forgetting the fact that he had been there all along. He wasn't kidding when he said that Juni grabs everyone's attention right away. Given the chance I'm sure she would've talked to me for hours if her dad hadn't reminded her.
"That's right Juni, only one more sleep until tomorrow" I say and I can hear a little gasp from the other side. "Does that mean I can go to sleep right now and then we can go?" she asks, not understanding the concept entirely.
"Not unless you want to sleep for twenty four hours silly" he says and I hear a fit of giggles that could only mean that he might've tickled her but after a few seconds it's calmed down.
"How long is twenty four hours?" she asks, a constant roulette of questions gearing up if he doesn't answer this question correctly.
"You know how you woke up yesterday, went to school, came home, played with your toys, got ready, went to meet Ms. y/n, came back home, went to bed and woke up this morning?" he lists off and I can tell she's probably nodded her head all throughout his explanation.
"Yes?" she responds in a questioning tone, waiting for him to get to the point. "Well that's how long twenty four hours is" he responds and I hear jumping again once he's finished before an excited Juni calls out. "Does that mean we get to go see Ms. y/n again when I get home from school?" she asks and my heart melts at her excitement.
"Juni, we're seeing her tomorrow remember. I'm sure Ms. y/n is very busy tonight" he says and I hear a sad "Oh" from her and I contemplate my next words carefully before going for it. "Juni, would it be okay if I talked to your Daddy for a second?" I ask and I can hear her let out a disheartened 'Okay' before Jungkook takes the phone off speaker.
"Hey y/n, sorry she's a little hyper this morning" he says and I smile at his efforts to apologize for Juni's adorable disposition. "No that's okay, I love talking to her! She's a cutie" I say and he hums, "Try living with her" he counters and I smile, knowing that her excitable attitude might get a little tiring sometimes.
"I wanted to ask you if you would like to do something today after Juni gets home from school? Maybe meet you at the park? I forgot to give you Juni's dress last night after I washed it. I have to go back to my parent's house to pick it up anyway and theres a park around the corner. It's your call though. I don't want to go against what you told her" I say, rambling off nervously again but this time over the phone instead of texting and I regret ever offering it in the first place.
Why am I so freaking awkward?
"You sure you don't mind? I could always just get it from you tomorrow? I don't want to inconvenience you or anything" he says, giving me a chance to back out but not saying no to me, giving me a vote of confidence. "I wouldn't have offered if I minded" I say with a smile in my tone and he takes another second to think before giving me his response.
"She gets off at three, does that work for you or should we meet up later?" he asks and my heart skips a beat, knowing that I'll get to see him again so soon. "That sounds great, you can meet me at my parent's house if you'd like? The park isn't too far away so we can leave our cars and walk there" I offer and he takes a couple of seconds to think again before saying anything else.
"Juni, do you wanna go see Ms. y/n after school?" he asks and I can hear her little feet running around this time and repeating her response of ceaseless Yes's again. "Well I guess we'll see you later then. I can bring some food for us to take to the park if you'd like?" he offers and I shake my head before remembering that thankfully he can't see me in my sleepy state.
"No that's okay I got it covered. You already said you guys are taking me to lunch tomorrow so the least I could do is bring us food to share at the park today. Plus, I'm the one who suggested it in the first place" I explain and he chuckles before agreeing.
"Alright, thank you y/n. Should we show up around four then?" he asks, giving them time to make their way over after picking her up from school. "Four sounds perfect, I'll see you then!" I say and he calls Juni over to say goodbye. "Bye Pretty Lady! See you after school!" she giggles.
I swear I'm never going to tire of her excitable disposition.
"Goodbye Juni! Have a good day and listen to your teachers okay?" and I can hear a faint 'I will' in the background, no doubt from her running off to do something. "Thanks again y/n, I know she's going to be so excited to see you today...we both are" he adds at the end and my heart skips at his confession. "Me too" I say quietly and we finish up our goodbye's before quickly hanging up.
I slowly walk over to the couch as to not scare Salem this time, grab the pillow next to me, put it over my face and scream into it. Although I tried to muffle it I still end up scaring him making him run off to my room, no doubt planning to be wary of me for the rest of the day but that's okay.
I get to see them again, I get to see him again.
I really hope I'm not wrong about thinking that there might actually be something between us already, something about this just feels right. I don't want to rush into this too quickly though since we don't really know much about each other. I want to take things slow and hopefully he does too.
Well...I hope he'll want to take things further but you never know, a man like him is sure to have a lot of options, right? I just don't want to set myself up for heartbreak. Gotta keep it together and not get too vulnerable with him, even if it feels like I should.
I've already let him in a little, and he's definetly let me in a lot with letting me spend so much time with his daughter but I don't know, I guess only time will tell what's going to happen between us.
If there's going to be an 'us'.
~~~~~
The day drags on as I unconsciously count down the hours until I get to see them again but it seems as though time is standing still.
I've spent most of my day editing the pictures I took for a family friend's wedding since that's usually how I get my clients these days. I know someone who knows someone who needs a photographer and my rates are pretty fairly priced so they tend to hire me.
Going through picture after picture and seeing how happy they look together makes me wonder what it would be like to be truly happy with someone like this. Be so openly and obviously in love that no one can say otherwise.
As time ticks by though my mind wanders off until I realize I only have about an hour to get ready before I have to meet them.
"Shit!" I say aloud and get up to hopefully make myself look presentable enough, luckily I took a shower this morning so we're all set on that front. I still need to figure out something for us to eat while at the park though and if I had paid attention to the time it would've been a brilliant idea.
The only option I have left is to phone a friend.
"Y/n? Is something wrong?" my mom asks, the call on speakerphone while I try to fix my hair. "Well depends on if you can help me or not" I say and I hear her sigh. "Please tell me you didn't end up in jail" she says and I scoff at her obviously sarcastic remarks.
"Very funny mom, but for your information no I did not end up in jail. This is seriously something I need help with though. Are you busy right now?" I ask, hoping and praying her answer is no. "No I'm pretty much free for the rest of the day, why?" she responds and I let out a huge sigh before responding.
"Good! Can you do me a favor and throw together a picnic lunch for three? Well...two and a half" I ask, not wanting to give up who it's for but by her gasp I can tell she already knows. "Are you and Jungkook seeing each other again already?" she asks, and I can tell her eyes are as wide as saucers with her hand over her mouth, her reactions being the same since I was a child.
"Yes" I say, giving a one worded response leaving me turning down the volume on my phone when I hear her squealing. "This is incredible! See I knew you two would hit it off! I can hear the church bells ringing already" she says, jumping to conclusions as she always does.
"Mom can you please get the food ready for me?" I plead, going back to the topic at hand while putting some makeup on, nothing too crazy but not wanting to over or under compensate. "Yes yes of course. Leave it to me!" and before I can say another word she's hanging up the phone. "Well that was easy" I say to myself before going to my closet to pick out what to wear.
As I'm flipping through my options I see Salem come out of the darkness, scaring me half to death leaving me scoffing seconds later, realizing he's given me a taste of my own medicine "Okay I guess I deserved that one huh?" I say to him and he meows in response.
"Okay Salem this one, or this one" I say, placing my options in front of him and he sniffs both before swatting at the one he's chosen. "You don't think a sun dress is too much?" I ask and he meows almost as if he was telling me to trust him and so I laugh and give in.
"I hope Juni likes it" I mumble to myself, quickly throwing it on and rushing to finish getting ready. A few minutes later I'm giving Salem a couple tummy rubs like I always do and rushing out the door, praying that I'll get there on time.
The drive to my parent's house seems like it's taking ten times longer than usual and I'm constantly glancing at the clock, making sure that I won't be late but thankfully I get there with plenty of time to spare.
"Hurry up they'll be here any minute!" my mom says, practically having babysat the door to make sure I arrive first. "Nice to see you too" I mumble, never getting a proper hello from her anymore. "The basket is on the table and I put a blanket in there as well" she says rushing me over to where she's put it and it's at that moment she finally notices my appearance.
"You really like him don't you?" she ask, smugness laced in her tone as her efforts of matchmaking are slowly succeeding. "No! Yes...I don't know" I deny but I backtrack immediately since I really do like him. "I haven't been interested in anyone in years and so I don't want to try too hard but I don't know" I somewhat admit to myself, as well my mom that I'm really starting to warm up to the idea of being with someone again.
"It's okay love, he hasn't been with anyone in a really long time either" she says and I furrow my brow, "How do you know that?".
"Well Mrs. Jeon and I were talking about it last night and it seems like ever since his wife died he's been really closed off to love or the idea of dating again. He's tried a few times but they never went beyond a second or third date" she relays and I nod my head, distracting myself with looking through all of the things she had placed in the basket.
I try not to let any expression spread across my face since I don't know how to feel. I don't want to say I'm happy that things didn't work out between him and another woman but it's also sad to think about how Jungkook might've felt when his wife passed in such a traumatic way.
"Thank you for telling me but I think I should start learning more about him when he feels comfortable talking to me about it. It's only fair right? I'm sure he hasn't asked too much about me and my past so I guess shouldn't either" I say and walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water.
"But he has" she says when my mouth is full making me spit it into the sink that was thankfully right in front of me. "He what?" I cough, trying to compose myself as I learn this tidbit of information. "He has asked about you. In fact I was on the phone with her right before you got here" I grab a paper towel to dab off whatever water I have left on me but before I'm able to respond we hear the doorbell ringing.
"I'll get it" she say knowingly, giving me another second to calm down before I have to face him. I take a few deep breaths, fix my hair and check my reflection as best as I can in the smudged steel finish on the fridge while listening to my mother greet them at the door.
While Jungkook and my mother exchange a few words I peek around the corner and notice Juni slightly tugging on my mom's pant leg.
"Excuse me but where's the pretty lady?" she asks and I have to hold back the coos I want to let out so badly, my heart already a puddle at the sight of her pleading eyes wanting to see me.
"Why don't you go look for her?" she says and when Jungkook looks up his eyes meet mine immediately for just a second but long enough to know my cover is blown. I duck back into the kitchen to hide, convincing myself that he didn't see me when he clearly did.
"Go on" he says softly when Juni no doubt looks up at him for approval and my mother follows behind her as Juni walks in the completely opposite direction from where I am, my mom trailing behind her, giving no hints and letting her explore on her own.
I assume that Jungkook follows them but when I hear what sounds like his footsteps get closer and not further away I tiptoe my way into the pantry, completely mortified that I know now for a fact that he caught me staring at them.
I close the door almost all the way and ten seconds later I watch as his form passes by the little crack in the doorway. I hold my breath as if that might help but there's only one way in and one way out of this kitchen and both him and I know that.
Why did I even hide? What was I thinking? Way to start things off on the right foot.
While I'm busy scolding myself I forget to pay attention and stumble back when he opens the door.
"Got ya" he chuckles and I clear my throat, "Yeah I uh, I guess you did" I say, trying to lean back against one of the shelves, stumbling over a box instead but quickly recovering.
"Why are you hiding?" he chuckles, leaning up against the door frame and crossing his arms making me look down and notice how one of them is completely covered in tattoos.
I had never specifically been attracted to tattoos before but on him...
I lose track of what he had said and only realize I had left a lull in the conversation when he clears his throat.
"Oh I-" I start off but when I hear my mother and Juni's voices in the other room I grab his shirt and pull him in, making him stumble inside, closing the door right away.
It's only when he hits the switch to turn the light on that I realize what I had done.
"I-" I try to apologize but when I look up at him I notice that there's something in the way he's looking at me that I have never seen before, making my words die in my throat.
We stand there for what feels like hours but had only been mere moments just observing each other, watching those small changes of expressions and I start to feel dizzy under his gaze.
The tension between us clear and building but it's only when he opens his mouth to say something that the door is thrown open and we're met with a squeal from Juni.
She runs into the closet and grabs onto Jungkook's leg making him stumble forward and as a result pins me against the shelf, his hands resting on either side of me.
It's like the universe is playing some sort of sick and twisted joke on us, constantly putting us in situations like these and yet we had only just become reacquainted with each other last night.
"I found you!" Juni squeals again, giggles as her cries of victory and she soon pulls on Jungkook's leg to try and separate us.
"Daddy I wanna play with the pretty lady" Juni pouts and in her efforts of trying to pull him off of me he actually loses his footing and stumbles, our bodies fully flush against each other now, his face just inches away from mine.
I blink up at him and he does the same to me, both of us frozen and not really knowing what to do. It's only when my mother chimes in and asks Juni to come with her to get a snack that that little bubble that had formed around us had been popped.
"I...sorry... I uh, tripped...you know...with Juni and everything" he says, fumbling his words like a school boy, taking a few steps back to be at a respectful distance again.
"Yeah no it's fine. I um, I shouldn't have pulled you in here in the first place" I admit and he smirks, remembering the point that lead us up to the little predicament we're in.
"Why did you pull me in here?" he smiles, glancing over at where my mom has Juni plopped down on the kitchen counter with a popsicle in her hand. "I take hide and seek very seriously" I explain, me being the one crossing my arms now and he chuckles at my lame excuse for my actions but accepts it anyways.
"Right" he says and offers me a hand to lead me out which I reluctantly accept.
"Mom she'll spoil her dinner" I say, scolding her with Juni just lost in the flavor and sheer size of it. To be fair it looks adorable in her little hands.
"It's alright, a little sugar won't hurt her. Plus we're still going to the park right?" he asks and I look at him and nod. "Right" I agree and lift Juni off the counter to set her on her feet.
"Hi Miss y/n" she says with a bright smile with her lips and tongue stained a bright shade of red from the cherry flavor.
"Hi Juni" I say and fix her little sun dress that she's wearing, it's almost as if we had planned to match and when she notices me straightening out her dress she looks at mine and also notices the similarity right away.
"Look Daddy! Miss y/n and I are matching!" she says with the toothiest grin I've ever seen, her front two teeth standing out just a little bit more making it another cute little trait she shares with her father.
Although who knows if she'll keep that once she starts losing her teeth I think to myself and quickly fix her hair as well since it's gotten a bit ruffled in the excitement of it all.
"That's right baby, you both look so beautiful" he says making my heart skip a beat.
When I look over at him he's giving me a similar adoring look he gave Juni just moments ago making it even harder for me to not melt into a puddle.
I'm beginning to notice that these two really know how to tug on a person's heartstrings, it's almost as if it were as easy as breathing and that's something that's gonna take a while to get used to.
"Can we go to the park now, please?" Juni asks, her eyes going back and forth between the two of us and when I look over at Jungkook he nods.
"Sure, are you ready?" I ask, turning back to Juni and she jumps up and down and chants 'Yes' over and over again like she had done this morning on the phone.
"Alright let's go" I say and with one hand clutching her popsicle for dear life she uses the other one to grab mine and drags me towards the front door.
"Juni be careful" Jungkook scolds but I turn back towards him and assure him not to worry and I can see how he relaxes at that.
She's a little bouncing ball of sunshine, emphasis on the bouncing since she can hardly sit still most of the time unless she's eating, and even then she's dancing around and smiling happily.
I swear if this girl gets any sweeter I'm gonna start getting a toothache.
I let go of Juni's hand while my mother entertains her so we can make sure we have everything before we head out and when I try to turn around to grab my cardigan Jungkooks already grabbing it and holding it out to help me put it on.
"Oh! I can-" "I know" he cuts me off but doesn't make any moves to give it to me so I turn my back to him and let him do as he pleases, sliding it up my arms and over my shoulders.
He runs his hands down my arms, no doubt as an excuse to smooth it all out but it causes a slight shiver to run through my system and he let's go, surprised at the reaction.
"You sure you're gonna be warm enough?" he asks, a hint of amusement laced in his tone making my cheeks heat up but I nod my head and quickly rush over to the table where the basket is so I don't have to face him but he takes it from me as soon as my fingers brush the handle, making our hands touch.
"I can carry that" I counter and he shakes his head, "No I'll carry it, someone's gotta hold Juni's hand while we walk there" he says, clearly delegating our respective duties and I smile and nod again.
"Deal" and at that we're out the door.
~~~~
"Higher Daddy higher!" Juni squeals while Jungkook pushes her on the swing, his arms no doubt getting a little tired since she's been on it for the past ten minutes now and I can see he's losing momentum with every push.
"Daddy's tired Juni. Can you swing on your own now? You know, just like I taught you" he suggests and she thinks about it for a second before saying a quick 'Okay' and clumsily moving her legs back and forth to keep the momentum going.
I smile as I watch Jungkook stumble over towards where I've been sitting on the blanket and watching them, adoring their father daughter relationship.
"You're so good with her" I praise when he sits down and hand him a cold water bottle which he accepts right away and downs half of it.
"You think so?" he asks, always unsure of himself but I couldn't think of a more perfect father than him.
"I know so. She's lucky to have a loving devoted father like you" I say and he smiles softly, grabbing one of the strawberries that my mother had packed for us.
"You flatter me" he says, a slight blush blooming on his cheeks making me feel almost smitten with him. "It's the truth" I reenforce what I've said and he shakes his head, finishing off the fruit in his mouth.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm not enough, you know? Like there's only so much I could give her" he says and I can tell from how his body language has changed that he's really thinking about how he wishes her mother could be here for her too.
"What was her name?" I ask and he looks at me curiously, not knowing that I'm on the same page as him yet.
"Your wife, what was her name?" I say tentatively but when he registers it I quickly backtrack.
"I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me that. I just figured that you might've been...well..." I trail off and we sit there in silence watching Juni swing back and forth, back and forth until he decides to speak up.
"Julie" he says softly, as if it had been years since he had spoken it.
"Her name was Julie" he says and when I look over at him I can see the melancholy expression he's trying to hide.
"That's a beautiful name, did you want Juni's name to sound similar to her's?" I ask, not wanting to make this conversation go dark but knowing that talking about her might cheer him up.
"Well, kinda. We wanted something that combined both of our names. It's silly, I know" he mumbles getting bashful about it.
"It's not silly, it's wonderful to see in a way that both you and Juni are still carrying her with you everyday. It's a beautiful way to pay tribute to her" I reassure him and he smiles at me, mouthing a silent thank you.
"I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have pried" I apologize again, seeing that it still has him feeling down.
"No it's okay, it's nice to talk about her every once in a while. Thank you, for that" him now reassuring me and I nod, both of us left in silence for a while before Juni runs up to us.
"Daddy what's wrong?" she asks, seeing the clearly deflated Jungkook as she gets closer and it's good to see that instead of brushing it off like it's nothing he doesn't hesitate to tell her how he's feeling.
"I'm just a little sad, Ms. y/n and I were just talking about Mommy" he explains and she gets almost a look of understanding which is surprising for someone of her age.
"Please don't be sad Daddy, remember you said Mommy is always watching over us right?" she says, giving him the talk that he's clearly had with her a time or two.
"Right" he says, brightening up just a bit.
"And she wouldn't want to see us sad when we think about her right?" she continues, an slightly stern tone creeping up which makes both Jungkook and I smile.
"Right" he echos again and she nods her head in agreement.
"You always tell me to look in the mirror and touch my nose, and my ears and my lips and everything else that you say reminds you of her and you tell me that she'll always be right here with me. So that means when I'm here with you she's here too right?" she asks again and he chuckles.
"When did you get so smart?" he says, grabbing her and starts tickling her, making her squirm all over the place and when he finally has mercy on her and she catches her breath she answers.
"Well I am turning five soon" she says matter-o-factly and I can't help but chuckle at that. "Oh right, how could I forget" he over exaggerates and she giggles, grabbing his shoulder before leaning in to whisper something.
"Daddy can we show the pretty lady a picture of Mommy?" she says almost at full volume leaving him flinching back. It's adorable how she still hasn't figured out this whole whispering thing. "Sure baby" he obliges and pulls out his phone, picking out one and handing it to her so she can show it to me.
She surprises me by plopping down in my lap and putting the phone way too close to my face.
"This is my Mommy, her name is Julie" she says proudly and my heart can't help but ache thinking this is the only way she's known her mother.
"She's beautiful Juni" I say, putting my hand on top of her hand that's holding the phone and pulling it back so I can see the picture properly.
"You really do have your mom's nose" I chuckle when I notice the same curved button nose they share leaving me booping her's and making her smile. She scrolls through a couple more photos giving me little bits of commentary that no doubt Jungkook has told her as she grew up and it's when I hear the soft click of a camera that I look back up at him.
"Sorry, it was too perfect not to" he says, seemly enjoying watching the two of us and I can't help the way my heart skips a beat making me shy all over again.
"Can we take some more pictures?" Juni asks, wrapping her little arms around my neck and squishing my face against her's leaving me laughing at how adorable this all is.
Jungkook obliges and we take picture after picture after picture together until Juni is satisfied and has run off to play again.
"I didn't even know that you brought that" I say, watching as he fiddles around with the camera, flipping through the photos he just took.
"It was on the table right behind the basket" he explains and now that I think about it I do remember seeing the corner of a camera bag sitting next to it.
He smiles as he looks at the pictures and I lean over to catch a glance at them but he pulls it back out of my reach. "Hey!" I chuckle and he shakes his head. "Not until they're edited" he refuses and I scoff.
"You're not actually going to edit them are you?" I say, nervous at the thought of him spending hours looking at those pictures.
"Why wouldn't I?" he asks as if I had said something confusing. "Well I mean, aren't you busy with work? I doubt you would want to take extra time out of your day to play around with them" I explain and he smiles.
"Let me take a few more and then I'll let you see them" he says, angling his body so he's facing me. "Did you want me to call Juni back?" I ask but when I try he stops me with another click and I look back at him confused.
"I meant of just you" he says simply but I can tell he feels a bit bashful from the way he's started to hide behind the camera.
"I'm not used to being the one in front of the camera" I say, trying to figure out exactly how to pose but he chuckles and puts the camera down a little to take a good look at me.
"I don't see why not, you're beautiful" he says casually as if those words hadn't sent my heart into overdrive. "I-" I start but the words just don't come out, especially when he places the camera down and leans in closer.
He takes my hand and places it on the blanket so I can lean on it, places the other in my lap, angles my shoulders slightly away from him and takes my chin and softly tilts my head up, making the sunlight peer down on my face through the leaves of the tree we're under.
"Just relax" he says, acting as if I could possibly relax after he had his hands all over me, posing me just how he wanted.
I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths to clear my head and once I start to get that sense of serenity I hear a few soft clicks from his camera, taking picture after picture, him adjusting my pose by hand every time.
"Daddy!" is the next thing we hear after who knows how long with the sight of Juni running over to us all covered in mud.
"Is this your daughter?" a woman who is clearly out of breath says while trailing after Juni.
"Juni what happened?" I chuckle, seeing that she's as happy as can be with a few smudges of dirt on her face and her dress all muddy.
"Her and my son were playing over there and I guess he convinced her to jump in the mud and well..." she says, motioning towards Juni where I'm trying to clean her off as best as I can.
"I hope she didn't cause you any trouble" Jungkook says, now feeling a bit guilty about the situation since he had taken his eye off her for a second.
"No, not at all. If anything I should be apologizing for my son. I swear we look away for one second and he's as dirty as can be" she chuckles, finally close to catching her breath.
"Can you tell the nice lady thank you for bringing you back?" Jungkook tells Juni and she does as she's told and I can see that she has just about as much of an affect on this mom as she does with me.
If Jungkook's not careful she can use her cuteness for mass destruction if left unchecked.
We hear a boy calling out for his mom that looks just like the woman in front of us now with no doubt her husband trailing after him.
"Mom, Dad says it's time to go home" he says, his state twice as bad as Juni's. What is it with kids these days and mud? I chuckle to myself and when the boy notices Jungkook and I with Juni he gets a little shy.
"Oh, hello" he says before he goes and hides behind his mother's leg, "Oh so now you wanna be shy?" his dad teases and snatches him out from his hiding space and whispers no doubt an encouragement for him to apologize.
"I'm sorry for getting her all dirty. She was just really nice and I wanted to have fun with her" he mumbles and I can see hints of pink peeking through the streaks of dirt on his cheeks just like Juni.
What did I say? Weapon of mass destruction.
"It's okay sweetie, I'm just glad you had fun" I say, brushing off his apology and when he looks up at me now I can see that his blush deepens and opts to hide behind his Dad's leg this time.
"Alright well say goodbye" his mom says and he mumbles a quiet goodbye and gives Juni a shy wave compared to hers being one to match her outgoing and bubbly self.
"Can we play again tomorrow?" Juni asks him and he looks up at his parents for approval. "We usually come here around this time everyday after school so you just have to ask your Mommy and Daddy if you can come again" she says and when I try to deny her claims Jungkook jumps in before I can get a word out.
"We'll be here" he says and Juni smiles so wide.
"See you tomorrow!" she calls out to them and the trio waves goodbye one last time before heading to their car.
"Mommy and Daddy?" I turn to Jungkook while Juni is busy doing a little happy dance before taking a drink of her juice box.
"Well I um, I guess they couldn't help but think we're her parents so it felt best to not correct them" he says while rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks dusted a light shade of pink just like the little boy's were when he was looking at Juni.
"Right, and when they say something tomorrow?" I tease and he clears his throat, no doubt not thinking this whole thing through.
"Well I guess there's no harm in faking it?" he says and now I'm the one that's nervous.
"Faking it? You mean you want me to pretend to be Juni's mom? Why?" I ask, flustered by the thought of it.
"I'm sorry I guess I didn't think about how you might feel about it. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable" he apologizes but I rush to explain myself.
"I'm not uncomfortable I'm just shocked that you would want to go along with something like that to keep up appearances for people that we hardly know" I say, trying to figure out where his head is at.
"Sorry that was a stupid suggestion we don't have to do it if you don't want to" he says and I shake my head.
"I mean I want to, but do you? I mean what about Juni? What's she gonna think?" I ask and watch as she chases a butterfly that has caught her eye. "We can just tell her we're playing pretend" he says and I raise a brow at him.
"That's the best you got?" I ask and he chuckles nervously. It's funny to see that a tall, strong, handsome man like him is getting so shy about this but I'll play along.
I just don't want to confuse Juni.
"Juni can you come here for a second?" Jungkook calls and she turns and runs over to us right away, looking between the two of us since we're both looking at her with no doubt some very strange expressions.
"You like to play pretend right?" he asks and she brightens up at the thought, "It's my favorite thing to do!" she says, twirling around in her very adorable muddy dress.
"How would you feel if we started playing pretend with Ms. y/n?" he asks and she gets even more excited and does her little chanting of 'Yes' over and over again, a very adorable habit of hers.
"So this is what we're gonna do, whenever we're out and about with Ms. y/n we're going to pretend like we're a family. You'll be the Baby, I'll be the Daddy and Ms. y/n will be the Mommy. Does that sound alright to you?" he asks and she giggles and looks between the two of us, clearly loving the idea.
"Yes let's do it!" she says, fully confident in her playing pretend skillset.
"Alright Juni but there's one little rule" he says and she comes in close, knowing that this part is probably a secret.
"You can't call her Mommy in front of her parents or grandma and grandpa, got it?" he says and I fully agree with him. We don't need to get their hopes up when we still don't know exactly what we are.
"Got it! Mommy?" she asks, getting my attention and trying on the name for size and I answer to it right away, somehow feeling almost natural already.
"Yes Juni?" I ask, and she looks over at the playground for a second before looking back over at me. "Can I go play for just a little while longer?" she asks, holding her hands together and giving me the cutest puppy dog eyes I've ever seen.
"Go ahead" I say and she giggles and rushes off to run around just for a little while longer like she said.
"It suits you" Jungkook says and I look over at him curiously, "What does?" I ask with a tilt of my head.
"You being a mom" he says and the words die in my throat. I've always been told I'd be a good mother when the time came but hearing it from him after what we just agreed to do just...
"Thank you" I say, my heart squeezing in a painful but also grateful way and he gives me a smile before he places his hand on my waist for a second to solidify his sincerity before walking a bit closer to the playground to watch Juni.
I decide to start packing up the stuff we had brought and by the time Juni is dragging her feet back over to me and completely out of breath I've got everything ready to go.
"You tired?" I ask and she nods her head, her blinks getting lazy as a clear sign that it's time for bed.
"Why don't I carry her home...I mean back to my mom's house" I correct myself quickly but I can tell he liked the sound of what I had said, my implication being completely different from what he had imagined.
"It's alright, I can carry her, we've got one pretty dress all muddy so I don't think we need another one" he chuckles.
I pause for a second and pull out the picnic blanket we brought and hold it against myself before picking her up.
"Problem solved" I say and he can't help but smile at my solution and quickly takes Juni's shoes off and wipes her feet clean as best as he can before taking the end of the blanket and tucking it all up so she's practically wrapped up like a burrito.
"You sure you can cary her? She can get a bit heavy when she's sleepy like this, especially since we've gotta walk for a little bit" he offers and I assure him I'm fine.
"What kind of mother would I be if I couldn't carry my child home?" I tease and his eyes widen, clearly having forgotten the little game we're playing.
"How dare I doubt your capabilities as a mother" he chuckles and picks up our stuff, motioning for me to lead the way.
A few minutes go by and we're left in a comfortable silence on our way back to my parent's house and when I decide to speak up he does the same.
"I-" "Tha-", "Sorry you go first" "No that's okay you go first" and we toss it back and forth a few more times before he hits me with the age old "Ladies first".
"Thank you for coming tonight and letting me spend some more time with Juni...well and you of course" I say sheepishly and he smiles.
"I would hope you like spending time with me since you are my wife after all" he teases and now we've switched personalities.
"You know, I think you're getting a little too comfortable with this already" I say and he smiles, playing with his lip piercings that I somehow only noticed right now, the silver glistening from the street lights.
There's so many things I haven't noticed about him yet, or even know about him but somehow everything seems so easy.
"I mean can you blame me? You fit right in with Juni and I. Honestly better than I thought you would" he mumbles the last part to himself and I have to try my absolute hardest not to literally fall for him.
I'm holding his daughter so I would one thousand percent say that now is not the time.
"What?" I ask, asking clarification that he doesn't give. "Oh nothing" he smiles and picks up the pace, leaving me trailing behind him and right when I go to say something else Juni flinches leaving me slowing down and soothing her back to sleep.
"Your Daddy is crazy, you know that?" I whisper to her as if she could hear me but the need to say something was too great.
A minute or two later we're walking up to my mom's house and I twist my body to give him access to the small purse I brought with us and let him fish out the keys to open the door.
When my mom hears us come in she goes to give us a no doubt overly exaggerated welcome home but as soon as she sees a very sleepy Juni in my arms she cuts herself off and switches to a hushed tone.
"Looks like you all had fun" she chuckles and caresses Juni's head for a second, checking to see if she's really asleep and she very much is.
"Maybe a little too much fun" Jungkook chuckles, seeing my mother slowly realize how dirty Juni had gotten.
"She's a cheeky one isn't she?" my mom smiles lovingly and I can't help but wish this whole mom thing with Juni was real.
"She is indeed" Jungkook agrees, and hands my mother the picnic basket.
"Thank you so much for letting me steal your daughter today" Jungkook teases and I can tell that she absolutely loves this.
"Honestly you can keep her. I hardly see her anyways" she says, giving Jungkook permission as well as sending a jab my way.
"Mom" I groan and the both of them smile as if they delighted in my embarrassment.
"I just might" he says softly while looking over at me and I can see my mom picking out the wedding venue as we speak, meanwhile I'm wrestling with myself to stay calm.
We agreed to fake this relationship which means that everything he says is fake...right? I need to separate the real from the delusion but he unfortunately isn't making this any easier.
We say our final goodbyes to my mom and she watches until we walk up to Jungkook's car, no doubt still watching behind the curtain of one of our front windows, spying on us as if her life depended on it. I try to ignore it though because how we end tonight is really important to me.
"Can I ask you something?" I say after he finishes putting Juni in the car, him closing his car door and walking me over to my car just a few feet away.
"Anything" he says while ushering me toward it with a hand on my waist, a slight sign of protection since it's gotten a lot darker than we both realized.
"When you said I fit in better than you thought I would...and that you might keep me, was that a part of this whole faking it thing we have going?" I ask, wanting to have an open line of communication with him.
We're not shy teenagers anymore so as adults I feel like this is something really important to establish.
"Do you want it to be?" he asks, standing in front of me while I lean against my car door. It still very much being locked as a very clear sign that I don't want this to end.
"I mean we just met and..." I say, trailing off because I don't really know what I want. All I know is I like him. I really really like him and his daughter has got me wrapped around her cute little finger.
"I know, we can take this slow. If this whole husband/wife thing is too much for you we don't have to do it" he offers and I shake my head.
"No, no I want to. I just don't want the lines to get too blurry" I explain and he nods his head and leans his hand against the car right next to where I'm standing.
"Blurry lines aren't a problem for me when it comes to you, it's your call though" he says and if my heart wasn't already racing it surely would've been now.
I look up at him and hold my breath when he gets closer my eyes not leaving his and when he leans down I close my eyes, giving into whatever he wants to do to me.
"Goodnight" he whispers, his warm breath fanning my neck making me lose my sense of reality for a second, wanting to lose myself in him without abandon.
I can hardly breathe let alone think straight and he chuckles at that, standing up straight and ghosting his fingers along my jaw before stepping aside, a clear sign for me to get into my car and when I fumble with my keys he takes them and unlocks it, opening the door for me.
I sit down inside and look up at him, indulging myself for a few more seconds. When he hands me my keys he makes our hands touch only for a moment before saying a soft 'Drive safe'.
When he closes the door for me I finally let out that breath I had desperately been holding back, watching as he walks back to his car with his little Juni still sound asleep.
I watch him pull out of the driveway and decide that even the way he drives is irresistible, giving me a small wave before he goes and while I'm lost in thought I almost jump out of my skin when I hear my phone ringing and my mom's name pops up.
"Mom I really can't talk right now" I say, putting her on speakerphone and starting the car.
"Do not give me that y/n I am your mother and set you up with this man so tell me what is going on" she says and I sigh, checking all my mirrors and heading out as well just seconds later.
"To be honest mom I don't even know. He's showing me very very clear signs that he's interested in me but I can't really say much of anything else at this point" I admit, the realization that the state of our relationship is anything but normal.
"We just met last night and things are progressing fast, like really fast" I sigh, stopping at a red light, thankfully giving me a second to think.
"Well I'd say this is all a good sign. I mean you're both in your thirties honey so adult relationships can progress a lot faster than when you're younger. He's a man that clearly knows what he wants and he wants you. So go for it" she encourages and I take it all in.
"You're biased because you're my mother and would love to have his parents as your in-laws" I say and she scoffs. "Yes but that's not the point. You would be a fool if you let a man like him walk out of your life" she scolds and I know she's right.
"I'll do my best to keep an open mind. But please don't talk to his mom yet, or at least not tonight. I don't need both of you losing sleep over this" I warn her but I know she'll do as she pleases no matter what.
"You know I can't do that, but I'll do my best" she says and that is the biggest lie she's ever told but I'm not surprised since we dangled this whole thing right in front of her face.
"You called her already didn't you?" I sigh and she chuckles. "As soon as I closed the door" she admits and I sigh, not the slightest bit surprised.
"Alright mom well I gotta go but we'll talk again soon" I say, pulling into my parking spot and turning off the car.
"Okay well keep me updated" she says and I can't help but roll my eyes.
"Between you and Mrs. Jeon I'm sure you can keep each other in the loop" I say, putting my keys in the lock and closing the door behind me when I step into my apartment.
"But I gotta go alright, I'll talk to you later" I say once again and hang up as soon as she says goodbye.
"Hi Salem" I sigh, watching as he jumps down from his cat tree and stretches before walking up to me, rubbing against my leg before walking over to his food bowl, clearly requesting the very late dinner I'm giving him. "I'm sorry boy, I guess I gotta get you one of those timed feeders now from the looks of it" I apologize and give him his food right away.
I put a couple treats into his bowl as well as an apology and make my way back to my room to jump in the shower and think about everything that happened today.
Jungkook basically admitted that he wants to get to know me better because he clearly feels like he can see a future between us and to be honest I pretty much feel the same way. It could be that we've caught a severe case of puppy love but I think we both know that this could potentially go somewhere.
I love spending time with him and Juni, granted this is only the second time we've spent time together but still I can't get over the fact of how natural it all felt.
Then he goes and pulls this whole pretend to be married business and now he's telling me he doesn't mind if the lines are blurred between us.
This is all way too much for one day but I can't deny that I'm not enjoying the journey. This is progressing a whole lot faster than I thought it would but that doesn't necessarily mean that's a bad thing.
I guess we've both got a whole lot of learning to do.
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Summary: Being divorced by the time you're thirty isn't the best feeling in the world but what happens when your parents find someone from your past that's in a similar boat?
Pairing: f!reader (30) x Single Dad Jungkook (33) (Arranged Marriage Slow Burn?)
Word Count: 11.3k (oh man holy shit)
Warnings: Troubles with conceiving/seeing pregnancies to full term, Jungkook's first wife passed away in childbirth. (These themes will be spoken about throughout the fic and I will add extra warnings when need be in future chapters)
a/n: Okay this one is gonna be a long one (in terms of chapter length, idk how many parts there will be) I'm really really in love with this story line so I hope you'll come along this cute, silly, awkward, heartwarming and heartbreaking journey with me 🥰
p.s. I've been brainstorming with @kkusadmirer (ofc 🤭) about this fic for a while now and I've just fallen in love with these characters too much that I had to get at least one part out. Okay okay enough from me. I hope you enjoy! (barely edited per usual I'm sry 😅)
"You should start dating again" my mom says to me, a dinner with a table for two this time since she said she wanted to talk to me about something important. If I would've known it was to nag me about something like this again I would've declined the invitation.
"Mom I already told you, I just got divo-" "You got divorced last year" she cuts me off and I sigh, knowing I'll probably get no where with this argument but continue on nevertheless.
"Point being, it hasn't been that long since Robert and I got divorced. I need time and space to figure out what I want out of life. I'm not interested in rushing into another marriage just for it to fail again" I explain and she simply downs the rest of her champagne in response, polishing it off in record time.
"You don't want to end up an old maid who didn't give me any grandchildren do you?" she says, repeating the same old argument again. "Mom I'm thirty, not forty five. I still have plenty of time to worry about babies and getting married again" I argue and she rolls her eyes before asking for another glass when the waiter passes by.
"You should at least try. Don't you like going out on dates?" she asks and I sigh, hating having this conversation over and over again.
"Dating was fun in my twenties but now that I'm more interested in finding someone to settle down with, it seems like all the guys that are remotely my age and happen to be decent human beings are already married" I explain and watch how she immediately takes her glass of champagne off the table once it's placed in front of her.
I'm glad she's drinking because having this conversation with her when she's sober is even more painful.
"You're exaggerating honey. I'm sure there is a fine young man just waiting for you around the corner" but before I'm able to respond to her, her eyes suddenly light up and she quickly gets out of her seat.
"Is it really you?" she says and another woman around her age that I've never seen before comes up to greet her. "How are you? It's been so long!" the mystery woman says and they quickly share an embrace before she turns to face me.
"And who is this beautiful young woman here with you?" she asks, making me shy away from them. "Oh this is my daughter y/n. Y/n this is Mrs. Jeon" she introduces us and tells me all about how they used to go to college together.
"Oh wow I think I remember my mom mentioning you before. You used to come over when I was little right?" I question, now remembering seeing her face in some of the pictures in my baby album.
"That's right! Little Jungkook and I used to come visit you all the time when you were just a teeny tiny little thing. You were the easiest baby I've ever come across, always sleeping and when you woke up you were as happy as can be" she rambles and I get a warm feeling in my chest, loving to have met someone who clearly cared so deeply for my mother and I.
"Who's Jungkook" I ask, looking back and forth between the two of them. "Jungkook is my son, he's just a few years older than you. I remember he was so fascinated by you, always wanting to come over and would watch over you as you slept, never causing a fuss as long as you were around" she says and I blush at the fact that her son would care about me just as much if not more than she does.
"How is he? Is he doing alright?" my mother asks and Mrs. Jeon gets a somber look on her face eyes fluttering to the floor before responding.
"Actually, he lost his wife a few years ago. She passed away after she gave birth to their daughter" she mumbles and I feel my chest tighten up at the thought of someone so young losing their life to something that is supposed to be so beautiful.
"My condolences to you all" I say, my eyes going glossy and she smiles in return, the memory bringing a tear to her eye as well. "Thank you love, that's very kind of you" she says, placing a hand on my shoulder before she clears her throat and blinks back her tears, wanting to put on a brave face in public.
"Why don't you come visit us at our home tomorrow evening? I would love to catch up and it would be good if the kids got reacquainted again" my mother suggests and I glare at her, knowing exactly what she's doing but also knowing there's no way I could stop her.
"I would love that! Our husbands might enjoy catching up too since they used to get along so well" Mrs. Jeon points out. "Then it's settled! How would you feel about making it a dinner instead?" my mother questions, digging us deeper into this evening we'll all be spending together. "I think that sounds perfect!" she agrees and I tune out the rest of the conversation, already trying to mentally prepare myself for the scheming I know my mother has planned.
~~~~
Kicking off my shoes and walking into my apartment I'm greeted by the serene sound of silence.
My black tuxedo cat meows as he jumps down from his cat tower and stretches for a second before coming over to greet me. "Hi Salem" I say, scooping him up and carrying him with me into my bedroom where I plop him down in the middle of my bed. "Mom only invited me to dinner because she wanted to tell me to start dating again" I relay to him, while I walk around my room, grabbing all the things I'll need to get ready for bed.
"I should've known she was up to something when she decided to invite me out on a random Wednesday night to go to my favorite restaurant. If the previous glances I had of the totals on those receipts didn't clue me in enough I don't know what would" I say in disbelief, having convinced myself hours earlier that it might've been about something good instead of another chance to nag me about something.
"I don't know why I even bother sometimes. She just has this worst case scenario mindset that I'm going to die alone and not leave a legacy. I understand that I'm their only child but with the way she talks, you would think I was well into my forties already" I say, verbally processing to him while he curls up into a ball, his eyes watch me walk back and forth until I walk into the en-suite bathroom to turn on the shower.
"Thanks for always listening to me Salem" I say, walking back over to him and scratching his head, "Don't know what I would do without you" I mumble before walking back over to the bathroom and closing the door.
Looking in the mirror I study my features, my hair styled just how I like it, my brows perfectly shaped but when I get to my eyes I notice it. I notice why my mother has gotten so worried about me.
It's as if the light's gone out of them. It's more than just 'Hey it's been a long day and I'm tired' no it's 'I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore' and for the first time, I admit to myself that I truly feel that way.
I reach for my cleanser and quickly wash off the little makeup that I still have on, lips completely plain and gone back to their natural color and some how my cheeks don't seem to be as rosy anymore after I had made sure to put on some more blush today to bring some color back to my face. Maybe it's not the makeup that's been washing me out, but the way that I've been living.
I will admit my days consist of going to work and coming home and doing that same thing over and over again. I don't really go out much and I only have a few friends but ever since I got divorced I just end up politely declining any sort of invitation I get from them. Doesn't matter if it's dinner or drinks or clubbing or even just a shopping trip.
I just can't get myself wanting to do anything anymore.
I step into the shower and I flinch slightly at the burning sensation the hot water brings to me but adjust it and step further under the stream once it's just to my liking. While going though my shower routine mindlessly I start trying to get to the bottom of what has got me living like this.
Robert wasn't the best husband in the world, mainly because he cheated on me but before that things were good between us. He made me laugh and was a perfect gentleman that always made me feel special and when we got married I swear I thought I couldn't be happier.
It felt like my life was falling into place, our life.
Until it wasn't.
I'm knocked out of my train of thought when I hear Salem pawing at the door and remember now that in my whirl winded state of mind I forgot to feed him. "Sorry Salem I'll be right out!" I call out for him and he meows in response. I swear that cat is more intelligent than I am most days.
I finish up my uninteresting night as I always do, turning out the lights and cuddling up with Salem until I eventually fall asleep but it took a little longer tonight. Thoughts full of what my future might look like if I don't start living instead of just existing.
As the 'what ifs' plague my mind they eventually drown themselves out as that same welcoming feeling of calm finally lulls me to sleep.
~~~~~~
"Hurry up they're almost here" my mother says, yanking me inside the house before I even have a chance to knock on the front door. "Nice to see you too mom" I say under my breath and she's wound up so tight it doesn't even phase her. I can tell she's been working hard to make sure everything is perfect once the Jeons arrive.
"Did you get that wine I told you to get?" she questions, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the wine bottle carrier in my hand, quickly taking it and rushing into the kitchen. "Yeah no problem mom you're welcome" I say, talking to the air in front of me still waiting for her to show any sign of gratitude.
"Go place your things in your old room so they're out of the way" she call out, leaving me sighing and trudging off to do as she says.
Once I retrace my steps and walk past the door to go to join her in the kitchen I'm stopped in my tracks when the doorbell rings.
"Oh honey can you get that? My hands are tied here" my mom yells and I take a deep breath in and out before doing just that.
"Hello y/n! It's so nice to see you again" Mrs. Jeon greets me as I step aside and let them in, soon after her is her husband who holds out his hand in greeting. "It's been quiet a long time hasn't it? I remember when you use to be-" "Grandpa! Grandpa! I wanna meet the pretty lady too!" a little girl no older than five years old says, walking around her grandfather's legs to get to me, greeting me with the most adorable bunny smile.
"And now who might this be?" I ask, already melting into a puddle from seeing how absolutely adorable she is. "I'm Juni" she laughs when I go down to her level. "Well it's very nice to meet you Juni and how old are you?" I ask and she lights up when I continue taking an interest in her. "I'm four! Well Daddy says I'm turning five soon but it feels like it's taking forever. Right Daddy?" she says and looks back towards the man now left standing in the doorway.
"That's right Juni" he responds and the deep tenor of his voice sends a slight shiver down my spine, so full of love and admiration that is obvious to anyone who might come across the pair. "Oh!" I say, quickly straightening back up to meet this mysterious Jungkook and my throat goes dry once I've laid eyes on him.
Tall, strong build, dark brown hair that's well taken care of and styled perfectly, strong jawline accompanied by the contrast of the softest look in his brown almost black galaxy eyes that are still focused on his beautiful daughter.
"I'm sorry" I say but he shakes his head before he turns his head in my direction, taking in the sight of me as well before speaking. "That's alright, Juni kind of grabs everyone's attention right away" he says giving me a soft smile. "I'm Jungkook" he says, holding his hand out to me. "Y/n" I say shyly and shake it, his hands being much larger than mine is comforting in a way.
"My mom told me we used to come see you when we still lived here" he says once we let go, Juni now quietly watching our exchange. "Used to?" I question, curious to know more about why our mothers had lost touch. "We went back to our hometown for a while and then moved back to the city soon after Juni was born" he says and I nod my head, accepting that as an answer for now but wanting to know more.
"Sounds like I was just an infant though so I don't really have any memory of it" I admit while rocking back and forth on my heels, a nervous habit I've picked up over the years. "It's alright, I didn't expect you to remember" he chuckles, "I was only three so I don't remember much of it either" we laugh at his returned confession and a more comfortable air settles between us.
"Well it's nice to finally meet you" I say and he nods his head. "Likewise" he replies and we stand there for a moment, not really knowing where to go from here then, thankfully Juni breaks the silence.
"Daddy I wanna talk to the pretty lady" she says and grabs my hand and pulls me away from him. "Be nice Juni" he warns and she pouts, leaving me crouching down to her level and tilting my head to meet her gaze. "There's enough of me to go around little one. Don't worry" I say, booping her on the nose and making her giggle again.
Jungkook walks in a bit more and closes the door behind him, watching our little exchange before my mother comes out to check on us.
"Y/n why don't you take Jungkook and..." she says trailing off, not having learned his daughter's name yet. "Juni" Jungkook says and my mother smiles at the sound of the adorable name. "Jungkook and Juni outside. I'm sure she'd love to run around a little bit before dinner is ready" she suggests and I agree while Juni starts jumping up and down, excited to explore an unfamiliar place.
Jungkook follows closely behind as I lead the way but I ultimately end up getting dragged along by Juni who is surprisingly perceptive and has already mapped out the door that we'll be going through. "Come on Daddy keep up!" she calls after him once we've reached the door, looking back and seeing that he's fallen behind.
"I'm right behind you Juni" Jungkook chuckles and once we step outside Juni lets go and runs back and forth all around the yard, looking at anything and everything she can find.
"Be careful!" I say, worried that she could hurt herself but Jungkook comes over and stands next to me and reassures me she'll be fine.
"It's alright, if she gets hurt it'll be a little reminder to pay attention to what she's doing next time. That's the only way kids really learn right?" he says turning towards me, granting me with a soft smile, almost as if he's looking for validation on his parenting choice.
"Of course," I respond, returning the smile, "even some adults need to crash and burn before they learn their lesson sometimes" I point out and it makes him relax a bit more, thankful to see that he's right in his dealings with situations like this.
"She's a good kid" I say after leading him over to the patio set we have out here so we can sit down and watch her. "Thanks, it's been difficult raising her on my own so I'm never really sure if I'm doing a good job or not" he admits and I nod my head, taking a second to think about my response since it's a sensitive subject.
"I can tell that you love her very much so I have no doubt in my mind that you'll always do right by her" and I can tell that my words bring him a sense of comfort. Being a single parent can be extremely difficult especially when you lose the love of your life as soon as you become a father.
I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.
"Y/n?" I hear him call out and realize that my mind had drifted off for a second. "I'm sorry what did you say?" I say, my cheeks heating up from having been caught daydreaming. "I asked if you had any children of your own" he chuckles and I again try to figure out the best way to word this but figure the best way to go about it is to be honest.
I've got no reason to hide from him.
"No, I got divorced last year and my ex husband and I were never able to have children" I say, looking down at my lap, embarrassed to have admitted it but also feeling a certain weight lifted off my shoulders.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know" he trails off and I panic, realizing I might've made him feel uncomfortable, telling him something so personal so soon. "No don't be, I honestly dodged a bullet with that one" I chuckle, hoping to lighten the situation a bit which thankfully it does as I see his body relax a bit.
"Our relationship had been on the rocks soon after we got married and I don't think we were a good match for each other so I think it was the universe's way of doing me a favor in making us somewhat biologically incompatible" I chuckle and he softly does the same.
"Biologically incompatible" he questions, a deeper meaning obviously hidden behind those words. "We both got checked out and everything looked completely fine but I guess it wasn't meant to be, thank God" I sigh, sincerely thanking whoever might've been in charge of making that executive decision for us.
"I'm not exactly sure what to say to that but I'm glad it worked out?" he states almost as if it was a question and I laugh, in response hoping I can recover this incredibly awkward conversation. "I'm sorry, that was a huge overshare that I probably should've kept to myself" I say, clearing my throat in hopes it would aid in clearing the peculiar air that had settled between us.
"You have nothing to apologize for, I asked and I feel honored that you felt comfortable enough to be so transparent with your answer" he says, the warmth in his tone giving me an ache in my chest. How could someone be so kind to someone they've just met? It's as if I could tell him anything and he would listen to me as if I was the only person in the world.
"Daddy!" 'Well me and Juni', I say to myself and watch as his attention now shifts to his daughter who is running up behind me. "Daddy look!" Juni says, holding out her hands that are now thoroughly caked in mud but hold a rock that is almost a perfectly shaped heart in the center of her palm. "Oh Juni" Jungkook chuckles, the ends of her dress now matching the state of her hands and neither Jungkook nor I can hold in our laughter.
"That's a very beautiful rock Juni! You're so clever" I say and I can see a sense of pride straighten her posture a little bit. "Juni your beautiful dress" Jungkook chuckles, clearly not minding but also trying to figure out what to do. "I'm sorry Daddy" she say, that pride slowly dwindling after seeing the mess she's made of herself.
"Hey Juni" I say, turning her attention back to me and I can see her spirits lift a little. "Would you like to see some of the clothes that I used to wear when I was your age?" I ask and her eyes light up at the thought. "Did you wear pretty dresses too?" she asks, clearly excited about seeing more new things. Her childlike wonderment makes my heart ache. Must run in the family.
"I did, but none of them were as pretty as yours. If you like, you can borrow one of mine while we wash this one" I suggest and the way her head nods up and down so fast makes me chuckle.
"Let's go to my room then! Hopefully we can find something you'll like" I say, standing up and straightening my dress while Jungkook reaches out for Juni's foot.
"Let's take your shoes off before we go back inside baby. We wouldn't want to track any mud into the pretty lady's house right?" Jungkook says, flashing a soft smile at me before looking back down to complete his intended task and Juni complies right away.
My breath hitches as he purposefully uses the nickname Juni had given me and I quickly walk past them and open the door to go inside, trying to clear my head for a second, willing myself to keep it together.
"Are you coming with us?" Juni asks and he nods his head, "I gotta go clean your shoes off first though" he says and I walk all three of us over to the bathroom so Jungkook can do just that as well as wash Juni's hands off.
"Wow!" is the first word that comes out of her mouth when we walk into the butterfly themed bedroom, mesmerizing her from the first glance. "Your room is so pretty!" she says, quickly running around here and there, being careful not to get too close since we haven't gotten a chance to change her dress yet.
"You like it?" I question and she's quick to nod her head again. "I wish my room looked like this" she says, spying all of the little butterfly details from the dainty embroidering on the bedspread to the knobs on the dresser, all of them working in harmony.
"We can go look for some butterfly stuff next time we go to the store if you'd like" Jungkook says while he walks into the room and right up to her while she stares up at the ceiling where there are a couple scattered across it. Nothing is too over the top but there is clearly a theme going on that she is captivated by.
"Really?" she asks, confirmation of what he's said being important to make sure she's hear him right. "Promise" he says holding out his pinky that she quickly wraps her's around as best as she can with her little ones being so tiny in comparison to his. She looks at the two of us before beckoning Jungkook to come closer so she can whisper something in his ear.
"Can the pretty lady come with us too?" she 'whispers' in his ear almost as loud as her speaking voice and I try to hold back my laughter, pretending like I didn't hear a thing. "Why don't you ask her?" he whispers and when he leans back she looks him in the eyes and he nods to further encourage her.
"Um, would you like to go shopping with us to get butterflies for my room too?" she asks, walking up to me shyly. Jungkook looks at me with a soft smile and I notice how the tips of his ears have almost gotten a little pink, his expression soft and charming but his body still showing tell tale signs of nervousness.
"Sure Juni, I'd love to go shopping with you" I say and she giggles in response while running back to her Daddy. "Can we go right now?" she asks jumping up and down. "We'll go another time don't worry baby, we've gotta set up a time so the pretty lady can go with us too right?" he reminds her and although she's sad she has to wait she nods in agreement.
"Good, now let's get you out of this so we can make you all nice and clean again" he says, unzipping the back of her dress and revealing the cute little white tank top and tights that she wore under it.
I focus my attention on opening up the closet and grabbing a couple of dresses out for her to choose from. "These ones should fit. Which one would you like to wear Juni?" I say and her eyes flitter back and forth between all of them before giving her a Daddy a devious smile and hugging them to her chest. "I want all of them" she giggles and my heart melts, thinking about how fun it would be if I had a daughter just like her.
"Pick one Juni" Jungkook chuckles and she pulls back flipping through the selection I've made before her eyes light up and find the one she's dying to wear. "This one, this one!" she says, lightly holding onto the skirt and jumping up and down. I shift my grasp on them and hold out the one she chose for Jungkook to take and once he does there a static jolt of electricity that shocks us leaving the both of us pulling away slightly.
"Sorry it's probably from all the fabric of the dresses" I explain and he smiles in response. "Don't worry about it. A little spark never hurt anyone" he says and it's almost as if his voice had dropped a bit with that remark, leaving me widening my eyes a bit before turning back around and placing the dresses back in the closet.
Why does he make me so nervous?
"Lady, lady look!" I hear from behind, and watch as Juni turns this way and that once Jungkook has finished putting the dress on her. "My goodness Juni don't you look adorable!" I say and she runs up to the the mirror in the corner of the room, watching the skirt swish this way and that. "Say thank you Ms y/n" Jungkook says, correcting Juni and finally telling her my name. She sounded too cute calling me 'the pretty lady' I just didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise.
"Thank you Ms y/n!" she says, running up to me and wrapping her arms around my legs since she is still too small to reach anywhere else. "You're welcome Juni" I say, smiling down at her and smoothing her hair down. "Remember Juni, we're just borrowing it so we can wash your dress. We have to give it back to Ms. y/n before we leave" Jungkook says and I can see her excitement dwindle a bit but is no less thankful for being able to wear it tonight.
"Thank you for letting me borrow it Ms. y/n!" she says and I smile again, falling more and more in love with this adorable little girl with every smile she graces me with. "You're welcome" I say and she lets go of me and twirls around in it before stopping.
"Oh! I promise to be really careful and keep this one clean" she says holding out her pinky to do just as she had done with her father moments ago and I kneel down to her level and do just that before booping her on the nose causing another fit of giggles to spill out of her.
"Y/n, dinner is ready" my mother says while poking her head around the corner and I can tell she is completely satisfied by the scene that she's walked in on. "Oh Juni what a beautiful dress!" my mother says, noticing it right away, remembering it was one of my favorites. "Ms y/n gave it to me!" she says, swishing around in it again before doing a full twirl for us.
"Well aren't you the most darling little girl I've ever seen! Are you ready to eat? I heard that mashed potatoes are one of your favorite foods right?" my mom says, holding out her hand for Juni to take and she gladly does.
"Did my grandma tell you that?" she asks, clearly surprised that this complete stranger already knew something about her. "Yes she did. I hope you like them!" my mom says and Juni rushes down the hallway dragging my mom behind her. "Juni be careful!" Jungkook calls out to her but my mom just laughs it off.
"Why don't you show Jungkook where the laundry room is so you can put her dress in the washer" my mom offers up and I nod my head and look up at him. "That's okay I can just wash it when we get home" he says, politely declining the offer. "It's alright, it's best to wash it right away so it doesn't stain" I say, holding out my hand for the dress and he smiles before handing it to me and following my lead.
"You have a lovely home" he says shyly, looking this way and that taking notice of the small details just as Juni did. 'Like father like daughter' I think to myself. "It was my childhood home as you could probably tell from my old room" I say and he hums in response as I stop at the door to the laundry room.
"I know Juni is never going to stop talking about it" he chuckles and I smile at the loving tone that is always present in his voice whenever he speaks about her. We stand there in silence for a bit while I gather the various cleaning products I'll need.
"If you like, I can show you how to get stains like this out? If there was ever a day when I was her age that I didn't get some sort of dirt, mud or grass stains on my clothes my mother would write that down as a national holiday" I say and he laughs at that before accepting the offer.
"Sure, I'd like that" for some reason I can't seem to find the right words so I simply turn around and rinse off the mud in the little sink we have in here. "Do you think you could get that one for me?" I ask, nodding toward one of the stain removers. He wordlessly does as I ask and helps apply a drop or two of it to each of the areas I point out.
"I could've done that" he says now realizing how he's just standing there watching me clean his daughter's dress. "No, that's okay I offered!" I say, reassuring him that I don't mind. I wordlessly ask for the next stain remover before rubbing it in and ringing out the excess water. He opens up the washer lid for me and I toss it in and look this way and that for the laundry detergent.
"Looking for this?" he asks, pulling it off the shelf above the washer. "See, that's a perk of living on my own now. I don't have to worry about things being up too high for me anymore" I chuckle and quickly scoop in the appropriate amount and start the washer.
"Well let me know if you ever need anyone to get something that's out of your reach, it's one of the perks of being tall" he jokes and I laugh but almost shy away from the fact that he expects to see me again. "So I've heard" I say and try to put the detergent back on my own but it soon tips back over and is close to crashing down until he catches it, which in turn ends with him trapping me between him and the washer.
He slides the detergent back in it's spot and takes half a step back, giving me the smallest bit of space. "Why didn't you let me help you? I was standing right here?" he asks, tilting his head at me. "I don't know, I guess I'm just used to doing things on my own now" I chuckle awkwardly. "Well hopefully you'll get used to letting me help you soon" he says, finally taking another step back and giving me a bit more space to breathe.
"Sorry about that" I apologize awkwardly, leaning my back against the washer now with him leaning up against the wall directly in front of me and giving me a crooked smile. "Don't apologize, there's nothing wrong with being independent" he says and quickly scans my body but he does it so fast that if I would've blinked I would've missed it.
"Daddy it's time for dinner" Juni says, her soft steps not having been heard by either of us over the sound of the washer, breaking us out of the little moment that we had been having. "Okay Juni we're coming" he chuckles and holds out his hand for her to take but she giggles and dodges it, reaching for mine instead.
I squeeze past Jungkook as this little room is only wide enough for one person to walk through and the front of our bodies brush up against each other only for a moment until she's tugged me halfway out the door. "Let's be a train Daddy! Grab onto Ms. y/n's hand so you can be the caboose!" she says, turning this trip down the hallway into a game.
"Oh that's okay sweetie why don't you-" he starts but I hold out my hand for him to take, him only having refused for my sake, not wanting to make me uncomfortable with any unwanted skinship. "Grab on Daddy!" Juni giggles and I look up at him and see that he's looking down at me. He chuckles before grabbing onto my hand and the both of us are soon trailing behind Juni as she drags us to the dining room.
Once we get to the dinner table Juni lets go of my hand and runs back to where Jungkook's mom is so she can continue to help her eat her mashed potatoes.
When everyone notices that Jungkook and I have arrived, we're greeted with four sets of eyes, all of them extremely happy to see us. It's then when I realize that we were still holding hands so I gently slide mine out of his, almost wishing I didn't have to.
He looks down at where our hands had been connected when I do and I can almost see that he's also disappointed that I let go but his expression is quickly replaced by an awkward smile aimed at our parents.
When I look at the table I see that Jungkook and I are meant to sit directly across from each other. Which I'm sure is another one of my mother's ploys to get us to keep glancing up at each other, this time though I don't really mind.
When I go to walk to one side to sit down next to Mr. Jeon, Jungkook follows right behind me.
"Oh did you want to sit on this side?" I ask him and he shakes his head, "No, I just wanted to pull your chair out for you" he says and I feel butterflies in my stomach. "Oh, okay" I say quietly and watch as he does just that and slides the chair in behind me once I've sat down. "Thank you" I reply, smiling up at him and he does so in return before rounding the table to take a seat in his place.
"So y/n, your mother told us that you work in photography, is that right?" she asks and I take a drink of water before responding. "Well not really, I've done a few freelance jobs here and there. Enough to keep me afloat so to say but I hope to do it full time soon!" I say and I see Jungkook perk up at that.
"Jungkook has always loved photography as well! He's always been tinkering away with cameras since he was just a few years older than Juni" his mother says while Jungkook cleans off Juni's face as it seems like she's gotten more food on her face than in her mouth.
"What subject do you usually shoot?" I ask, curious to see where his interests lie. "Mostly editorial, but I tend to enjoy the shoots a lot more when they have to do with nature. I believe beauty can be found in almost anything so I tend to just capture whatever inspires me at the moment" he says, his answer being very similar to mine.
"I feel the same way" I respond simply before shying away from the topic as I feel our parents are studying our interaction.
Once they notice the silence they decide to pick up the conversation just throwing facts about Jungkook and I back and forth, pretty much doing the getting to know you game for us without giving us much room to get a word in edgewise. Which leaves the both of us to just follow the conversation and occasionally making eye contact when either side makes a slightly embarrassing comment.
"Hey Dad" Jungkook calls out to his father over the never ending conversation they're having about us. "How's that new project at work going?" he says and I can already tell that it's one of those kinds of topics that once you get him started on it he won't stop and that's just the case as we now watch the conversation take a turn that is thankfully so far off from the two of us.
As time ticks by and the subjects change a few more times I notice that Jungkook has started to get up and clear the table to which I jump up in response to help him.
"Oh Jungkook don't worry about that I can do it later" my mother says but he shakes his head. "It's the least I could do after you've provided this wonderful dinner for my family and I" he says and I can almost see my mother swooning from his response. "Well thank you very much, sweetie can you show him where to place them, just next to the sink is fine" she says to me and I nod, looking up at him and nodding my head towards the direction of the kitchen.
Once we've gone there and back from the table a few times I decide to just start loading up the dishwasher, trying to escape that mortifying conversation for as long as I can. "I brought your glass for you. Wasn't sure if you were planning to finish it or not" he says, walking over and placing my wine glass on the counter next to me. "Thanks" I say quietly, neither of us having said a word to each other since the very beginning of that dinner.
"Your parents are really sweet" he says, breaking the ice and clearly acknowledging how obvious they all were about their motives. "Yours too. I'm sorry about tonight" I say and his brows furrow, clearly not understanding why I would need to apologize. "I knew my mom would end up doing something like this but once her mind is made up there's no stopping her" I admit and he gives me a crooked smile in response.
"Don't worry, I knew what all of them were up to too. My mother was praising you so much and telling me how beautiful and smart and respectful you are so I had an inkling that this was their plan all along" he says and I turn away from him, trying to hide my flustered expression.
"She's right you know" he says, coming around to stand next to me, leaning against the counter while I face it, cleaning up the inside of the sink and grabbing the towel next to me to dry my hands.
"Right about what?" I question, now turning to face him and noticing just how close he's gotten. "About how beautiful you are" he says and I have to blink a few times, trying to figure out why this incredibly handsome man in my kitchen is flirting with me.
I just wanna thank past me because whatever I did in my last life must've been incredible if I'm being offered up a man as remarkable as he is.
"I-" I start but am soon interrupted by my mom walking in on us. "Y/n could you- oh! I'm sorry, as you were" she says, taking small backward steps out of the kitchen, keeping hers eyes on the two of us before turning around to walk back to the living room that they had moved to.
"I'm sorry about her" I say, taking a drink of my wine but he laughs it off. "It's alright, I don't mind" he says watching me with curious eyes as I polish off the rest of it. "Juni has taken a real liking to you" he says and my heart melts at the sound of her name.
"Really? She's probably the happiest child I've ever seen. I really like her too" I say and he smiles, no doubts memories over the years flashing through his head.
"You've done a really good job raising her Jungkook" I say, and his eyes flutter back to mine, this time being the first time I've spoken his name and it looks as if just that alone brought him so much satisfaction. "Thank you y/n" he says, and I feel my heart flutter, the deep baritone of his voice sending a shiver down my spine.
"Daddy can I have some cake?" we hear as Juni walks into the kitchen, "Can I have some cake..." Jungkook says, trailing off and waiting for those magic words. "Please?" she says, realizing what he had been getting at.
"Sure baby, Ms. y/n and I will bring it out in a second okay?" he says making her smile as she runs out of the kitchen "Thank you" she calls out over her shoulder leaving the two of us laughing at her enthusiasm.
"That's probably what my mom was coming in to ask us for" I say and he nods in agreement, helping me carry everything out so we can all have a slice of the small cake my mom had gotten for tonight. "How much you want to bet that they sent Juni looking for us earlier too?" he whispers to me as we make our way over to where everyone else has gathered. "You might be right about that one" I whisper back, quickly catching onto all of their little games.
After setting the cake and all of the plates and forks down on the coffee table my mom takes on the task of cutting it up and serving it, with the very first piece going to little Miss Juni. "Thank you!" she says, eyes wide as saucers leaving all of us cooing at her. "Eat slow Juni" Jungkook reminds her, no doubt having troubles with her eating her desserts too quickly.
I take on the task of helping my mother hand out the slices and once I give one to Jungkook I finally notice that the only empty seat is right next to him and he looks down at it before looking back up at me in a silent invitation to sit down and I take it cautiously.
The couch that we're sitting on is kind of a love seat ironically, seeing as the whole theme of tonight is trying to set us up with each other.
Once I've sat down I realize that I've sat right next to him to the point of where my shoulder ended up bumping into his. "Oh! I'm sorry" I say, scooting away from him but with the size of the couch I don't really end up moving all that much. "It's okay I don't mind" he says, before taking a bite of his cake and turning to face the rest of the group.
The seven of us continue talking and talking until we notice that Juni has fallen asleep in her grandma's lap. "Here mom let me take her" Jungkook says, standing up but both my mom and his stand up and wave him off. "That's okay, we're just gonna go put her down in y/n's room" my mom says and before he's able to say otherwise they've disappeared down the hallway.
"Does she have school tomorrow?" I ask once he's settled back down. "No, she's on spring break right now until next Monday" he relays and I nod my head. "And what about you? Do you work tomorrow?" I ask and he gives me a shy smile before responding. "I had a shoot scheduled in the morning but we went ahead and pushed it to the afternoon so I don't have to worry about going home anytime soon" he says and my heart skips a beat.
"No, I mean, well I don't want to keep you for too long. You probably have other things you'd like to get done tonight?" I ask and he shakes his head. "No, this is the only thing I have planned for the night so I guess you're stuck with me" he chuckles. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I wanted you to leave I just-"
"It's okay I know what you meant" he laughs and I now take notice that we're the only ones left in the room. "Oh! Where did my dad go?" I ask, my eyes darting this way and that, not even being able to hear his voice.
"I think I heard something about them setting up the fire pit? I'm not sure but he's outside with my dad right now" he says and I spy both of them looking through the glass door before quickly ducking out of view once they realize they've been spotted.
"Maybe we should head out there" I say but he cuts off that thought by asking me a question that keeps me frozen on the spot.
"Is there a reason why you don't want to be alone with me?" he asks, arm now having been draped around the back of the couch a while ago, completely unknown to me making this all seem a lot more intimate than before.
"Who said that?" I chuckle nervously, clearing my throat before sinking back into my seat. "You just did" he says, nodding towards me and I feel like I want to crawl in a hole and die. I thought I could escape this night without being awkward like this but I guess not.
"You trying to get rid of me?" he teases and I shake my head right away, "No I'm sorry I just-" "It's okay, I'm only joking" he says and I laugh nervously. "So why don't you tell me about yourself?" he says, giving me the most open ended question ever and I scramble to find something but I just can't seem to come up with anything interesting enough to mention.
"Well, my parents pretty much said everything there is to know about me over dinner earlier" I say and he shakes his head. "I want to hear something about you from you. Like what are some of your hope, your dreams, something you're passionate about" he says, being a little more specific this time.
"My dreams?" I trail off, thinking for a second and he watches me as I wrack my brain for something notable. "It's kind of silly" I admit once I've settled on something. "Good thing I've got a sense of humor" he replies, trying to encourage me to continue.
"Well, I've always wanted one of my photos to be on the cover of TIME magazine" I admit and see his eyes light up. "I have a similar dream" he says and my eyes widen in surprise turning my body to face him, wordlessly asking him to share his too.
"I'd like one of mine to end up on the cover of National Geographic" he relays and I smile in turn. "That would be perfect for you! Well, since the subject you love to capture the most is nature I could definitely see your work fitting right in!" I say, excited to see someone else who's trying to aim as high as I am.
"And I could see yours being a shoe in for TIME as well" he says, and I shy away from his praise. "Okay and what's something you're passionate about, and don't say photography" he says, interrupting me causing me to slump down, having to take another second to come up with an answer.
He chuckles a bit at my reaction and I glare at him causing him to smile at me even more so look up to the celling as if it had the answers to something interesting about me.
"Well, I really love reading. I know it might not seem like a passion but when I read a really good book and I find someone who has read it or will at least let me talk about it it's as if I gain a boost of energy and can't contain my excitement. That's definitely the nerdy side of me showing but that's all I can really think of at the moment" I say honestly and when I look back at him it's as if he thought I was the most fascinating thing he's ever seen.
"Sorry, I think I got a little carried away there" I say, getting shy from being looked at like that, his soft gaze an expression I'm not used to, especially from someone I just met. "Um, your turn" I say, hoping to get some of the spotlight off of me.
"I know this might be cheating but I do enjoy taking video and editing them. Even if it were as simple as filming Juni for an afternoon, it's something that if given the chance, would be something I could be extremely passionate about" he says and although it is cheating since it's somewhat similar to photography, I'll let it slide.
"Have you thought about switching up your profession to include video as well as pictures?" I ask and he nods before answering. "I have but I haven't taken enough time to seriously consider it. Juni is still young and I want to make sure I have a stable income in order to take care of her and if I'm being honest I feel almost as if a career change could jeopardize that" he says and I watch him with the same intent that he had given me and he too seems to shy away from it.
"It's silly since it would probably be a seamless transition but I can't help but feel reservations towards it" he says and I place my hand on top of his that's in his lap.
"It's normal for a parent to worry about providing for their child. I don't think it's silly at all and it shows how much you truly care about Juni and her well being. She's lucky to have you as her father" I say and he cringes only for a moment before his expression goes back to a softer one. I want to ask what would've warranted a reaction like that but I leave it alone.
"Okay your turn, what is something you hope for?" he asks and I already know the answer to it but I'm hesitant to say. I take a second to try and figure out how to formulate it properly but decide to just go for it.
"I hope to be a mother and have children of my own someday. Doesn't matter if it's naturally or through adoption, I just hope to have someone I can love and care for unconditionally and watch them as they grow and change and pray I'll receive that love and care back from them" I say and he gives me a wary expression and I quickly try to backtrack, not knowing if I've messed up or not.
"I'm sorry that was probably extremely insensitive of me" I say, pulling away my hand but he holds onto it and gives me a sad smile before responding. "I think you would be a wonderful mother. If you were to give your children even half the time and attention you've given to Juni today they would still be incredibly lucky to call you their mother" he says, reassuring me that it's okay to talk about these topics around him.
"Last one?" I question, seeing if he's up to telling me something he's hopeful for. "I just hope that no matter what my family and friends stay happy and healthy. It might be simple but I enjoy the simple things in life" he says and I smile, seeing how truly kind and compassionate he is just from his simple answer. "That's a good answer" I say and we both chuckle a bit before we're broken out of yet again another moment by the sound of our mothers stumbling into the room.
"Oh don't let us bother you we're just going to head outside with your father" Jungkook's mom says to him and I can see now from the warm glow shining through the glass door that they've finally started up the fire pit.
"Oh we'll come outside too!" I say and try to get up off the loveseat. I'm able to stand but immediately lose my balance and feel a strong set of hands on my hips and end up falling into Jungkook's lap. "I-" I start, turning towards him and trying to get out an apology but stop short when I see how close his face is to mine, our noses almost touching.
I hear our mothers head outside quickly and close the door but neither of us pay any mind, both focused on each other to the point where neither of us move for what feels like forever but was only a matter of seconds. When I do try to get up I feel his grip on me tighten.
"I'm s-sorry, this couch is always difficult to get off of" I explain and he smiles. "Like I said before, you have nothing to apologize for" he says, his voice a bit deeper than before and it takes every fiber of my being to stop myself from looking at his lips but when I see his flutter down to mine I can't help but do the same.
"Daddy, why is Ms. y/n sitting on your lap?" we hear Juni say and I immediately get off of him and throw my face in my hands, trying to hide the embarrassment written all over me but Jungkook handles it like a champ.
"Ms. y/n just fell down Juni and I caught her. You know how I catch you sometimes before you fall?" he offers and she walks over to us, rubbing her eyes and immediately climbing onto Jungkook's lap. "Oh okay" she says, yawning again after Jungkook places a kiss on the crown of her head.
"Do you wanna go see the fire that grandpa and Ms. y/n's dad made?" he asks and she hums in approval, still half asleep but wanting to go outside with everyone. "Okay let's go" he says, standing up with Juni in one arm and holding his hand out to help me up. I glare up at him and he smiles, knowing he's added to my embarrassment but I take his hand anyways and he makes no moves to let go once I'm up on my feet, walking us all towards the back door.
Once we're outside though that's when he lets go so he can hold Juni properly while he walks down the patio steps so we can get to the fire pit.
"Juni woke up?" his mother asks and Jungkook nods. "Yeah she wanted to come outside with everyone even though she is still very very sleepy" he says, talking in a silly sweet voice that makes Juni pout although her eyes are still closed. "I'm not sleepy" she says mid yawn causing me to coo at her and when she realizes I'm still close by she sits up off of Jungkook's chest and reaches towards me.
I look between her and Jungkook for a second and he nods his head in approval and hands her to me, grabbing a chair afterwards for me to sit on and pulling up another one next to mine and looks over at Juni to see she's practically sound asleep again. "Are you okay with her?" he asks and I hum in approval leaving him placing another kiss on Juni's head before leaning back in his chair.
"So Jungkook, what do you think of my daughter?" my mother asks and Jungkook chokes on air, not expecting the straightforward question. "Mom!" I scold and she chuckles, "What? It's a simple question. No need to give a complex answer, unless he wants to" she teases and I swear I can even hear Jungkook's dad chuckling at my mother's antics.
They couldn't make it more obvious that they're trying to set us up even if they tried.
My dad luckily somewhat comes to Jungkook's aide and hands him a bottle of water to hopefully help him stop coughing which it does thankfully.
He takes a second to clear his throat and I would be lying if I said I wasn't on edge, waiting to hear what his answer might be. "I think she is a very kind hearted and very intelligent young woman" he says simply and the echos of him calling me beautiful earlier on tonight attach to the end of that.
"And would you like to see her again?" she continues and he then looks over at me, giving me a soft smile and glancing down at Juni before looking me in the eyes again. "We've already planned to see each other again" he says, memories of Juni's invitation to the butterfly shopping trip fluttering through my mind again.
"Did you hear that? Jungkook has already asked to see her again" my mom says, calling over to Jungkook's mom as if she hadn't been listening the whole time. "Well technically Juni asked if I could go shopping with them" I explain and Jungkook chuckles. "Juni is a very smart girl" my mother compliments and Jungkook and I can't help but laugh.
The rest of the night flies by and before I know it we're already standing in the doorway saying goodbye. "It's was so nice seeing you again y/n! I hope to be seeing you again soon" Jungkook mom says, winking at me. "Oh come on honey leave the girl alone" Jungkook's dad says, coming to my aide and saying his goodbyes as well.
Jungkook's parents say a quick goodbye to Jungkook and Juni as well since they came in separate cars and I notice after that my dad pulls Jungkook aside and says something that I regretfully can't make out. Luckily he doesn't seem bothered by it as they smile and shake hands before my dad pats him on the back, sending him off with I can only assume is well wishes.
Jungkook says goodbye to my mother and I can tell how much she's praising him, he thanks her for everything and makes his way over to me a few moments later and it's almost as if it was a ghost town with only Jungkook and I in the entryway now, with him holding a still very sleepy Juni in his arms.
"Thank you for coming, I know this was probably a lot for you" I say, rocking back and forth on my heels and he smiles before answering. "I had fun, and I know Juni did too" he says and I can feel my heart skip a beat, "I did too" I reply shyly. He reaches into his pocket and unlocks his phone before handing it to me.
"Do you think I could have your number? You know, so we can set up that shopping day soon? I know Juni won't be able to stop talking about it until we go" he says, turning into what I could only describe as a shy teenage boy, asking his crush for her number. "Sure" I say, putting it in and calling my number so I have his too.
"Let me know when you get home safe" I say and place my hand on Juni's back and whisper a quick goodbye which regrettably stirs her awake and I mouth a quite sorry to Jungkook but he smiles in response.
"Wanna say goodbye to Ms. y/n?" Jungkook asks and she nods her head before opening her eyes and leaning towards me to give me a kiss on the cheek leaving me speechless. "Goodnight pretty lady" she mumbles before laying back down on Jungkook's chest. He chuckles after seeing my reaction and gives Juni a kiss on her head in response.
"Goodnight y/n" he whispers to me and I send him the same sentiment, walking him to the door and watching as he walks over to his car while he puts Juni in her carseat. He looks back to see if I'm still watching and smiles at me again before getting in his car and driving off.
"So should I schedule an appointment with the caterers tomorrow or...?" I hear my mother say behind me, making me jump before taking a few steps back into the house and closing the door. "Very funny mom" I say, walking over to the living room and plopping down on the couch Jungkook and I had been sharing a couple hours ago.
"What's wrong? He's a nice man isn't he? Plus his daughter seems like she loves you! Why don't you give it a shot?" she asks and I sigh, sinking further back into the couch. "I don't know, I just don't want to get my hopes up" I mumble and she sits next to me, placing a comforting hand on my thigh. "What makes you say that?" she asks curiously.
"It's almost as if he's too perfect. He's handsome, charming, charismatic, a great dad and I don't know, he just seems too good to be true" I admit and she nods her head, understanding my hesitation. "Everyone puts their best foot forward when they're meeting someone for the first time. Just go out with him and Juni in a few days and keep an open mind. It's not the fact that he has Juni that's holding you back right?" she questions, trying to figure out what exactly has got me doubting.
"No not at all! If anything Juni is an added bonus" I say truthfully and she smiles at me. "Good, because I think she's already become very attached to you" she says and I nod my head. "Yeah I think I have too" I mumble and she claps her hands, jolting me out of my train of thought.
"Now all we have to do is get a ring attached to that finger and the three of you can live happily ever after" she says, getting up to clean up the cake plates that sit on the coffee table in front of us.
"Mom" I groan and she laughs, "I want some beautiful grandchildren and if that handsome young man can't help you give them to me then I don't know who could" she continues leaving me sighing, not bothering to argue back since she is definitely right about that one.
I hear my phone chime in my purse moments later after I walk into my bedroom to gather up my things to go back home and see a message from an unknown number but check my call log and see that the numbers match up from when I called myself off Jungkook's phone.
I quickly add him to my contacts before opening up our chat and see a short but sweet message from him.
'Home safe and sound. Thanks for having us tonight. Hope to see you soon?' he sends with a question mark at the end, clearly still wanting to double check on if I'll actually want to see them again. I wait a few seconds, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard before finally composing a message and hitting send before I chicken out.
'See you soon Jungkook. I really enjoyed getting to know you and Juni. Looking forward to shopping for butterflies together!' I say and cringe once I reread it. 'Ugh could I possibly sound more desperate?' I say to myself and toss my phone on the bed, sitting down at the computer chair across from it.
A minute later I hear another message come in and I practically lunge for the phone, praying I didn't weird him out but moments later I feel heat rushing to my cheeks and have to will myself into not squealing.
'We're counting down the minutes until we can see you again. Let's talk tomorrow and set up a date and time' he says and I rush to respond.
'Sounds great! Goodnight Jungkook' I say, ending the conversation before I end up embarrassing myself even more but before I can even lock my phone his message pops up.
'Goodnight y/n, sweet dreams' the message is so simple but it still makes me smile.
"Is that Jungkook texting you?" my mom asks, poking her head into the room and I quickly lock my phone and grab my purse. "Yes it is, goodnight mom" I say, walking past her and straight to the front door with her trailing after me. "Oh come on sweetie you know I'm just teasing you. I really think he's going to be a good match for you" she says and I turn to face her before I leave.
"I really hope so. Say goodnight to dad for me" I say giving her a kiss on the cheek and getting in my car to drive home.
~~~~
Once I walk in I'm greeted again by Salem and he walks up, waiting for me to pick him up. "You're such a little baby you know that?" I chuckle and he meows in response.
I follow the same routine as I always do, carrying him with me into my room and rambling off to him about my day before hopping in the shower but this time I have a lot more to say, leaving me wasting half the hot water and causing me to have to finish up the last bit of my shower in a freezing cold stream.
After finishing up and finally settling into bed I lay down and Salem curls up next to me. "Things might be changing around here boy. I only hope they're for the better, what do you think?" I ask after having told him everything and I'm met with the feeling of him purring and if that isn't a good sign then I don't know what is.
"I hope he likes cats" I say, giving him one last pet before turning off the light and for the first time in a very long time I can finally say I've gone to sleep feeling content. The last thought that runs through my head is one that helps me fall asleep with a soft smile on my face.
Genre: Romance • Angst • Slow Burn • Mutual Pining • Friends to Lovers • Right Person, Wrong Time • Unrequited Love • Found Family • Grief • Heartbreak • Emotional Healing • Jealousy • Comfort • Slice of Life • Family Drama • Single Father • Longing • Betrayal • Healing Romance • Smut
Sypnosis: For fifteen years, Y/N loved the same person in silence. She watched him grow up beside her, watched him fall in love, and watched him build a life that never included her. But when tragedy changes everything, old feelings, buried grief, and painful truths begin to surface, forcing her to confront the love she thought she had long outgrown. Filled with heartbreak, longing, betrayal, and healing, this is the story of two people who meet at the wrong time, lose themselves along the way, and discover that some loves survive even after everything else falls apart.
The funeral home was warm. It felt wrong. Outside, rain still lingered over the city. The sky had remained gray for nearly two days, and the roads looked washed of color. People hurried beneath umbrellas. Cars moved quietly through wet intersections. Somewhere nearby, a bus stopped. Someone laughed on the sidewalk. A coffee shop opened its doors. The world continued. Yet inside the funeral hall, time had become suspended.
The air smelled of incense, chrysanthemums, and coffee that had been sitting too long in paper cups. Soft lighting washed over cream-colored walls. White flowers surrounded the framed photograph placed at the center of the altar. Mina smiled from inside the frame. She wore the blue dress she had bought three summers ago after making everyone vote between three different colors inside the group chat. You remembered exactly how that conversation had gone.
Seokjin voted for red. Jimin voted for blue. Jungkook said all three looked the same. Mina threatened divorce even though they had only been dating then. Now that same smile looked down at all of you. And suddenly photographs felt cruel. Because pictures captured people at their happiest. They never captured arguments, bad days, exhaustion, fear. Photographs never prepared you for funerals.
You stood beside Namjoon as funeral staff carefully arranged flowers. Hoseok completed paperwork. Seokjin greeted arriving relatives. Taehyung and Yoongi sat quietly near the back of the room. Jimin had disappeared twice already because he could not stop crying. Jungkook simply existed. That somehow felt the most frightening.
He sat near the front wearing black. His hair had been neatly combed by his mother. Someone had brought him clean clothes. He thanked everyone politely. He bowed. He accepted condolences. He answered questions. He looked exactly like a grieving husband was expected to look. But you knew him. You knew the difference between sadness and emptiness. And he looked empty.
People continued arriving. Former classmates, coworkers, neighbors, distant relatives, people who had not spoken to Mina for years suddenly stood before her photograph crying. The room filled with voices.
“I still can’t believe it.”
“She was too young.”
“How could this happen?”
“Poor Jungkook.”
“Poor Hana.”
The words repeated endlessly. At some point during the afternoon, Hana arrived with Jungkook's parents. She wore a small black dress. Her shoes lit up when she walked. Nobody had remembered to turn the lights off. The tiny flashes illuminated the floor beneath her feet. She looked around the funeral hall with complete confusion. Children did not understand white flowers or framed photographs or why adults cried. She pointed toward the altar.
“Mommy.”
Jungkook looked at her. His lips parted, nothing came out. His mother quickly picked her up, but Hana continued looking toward the photograph.
“Mommy.”
The room became silent. You looked down. Several people quietly wiped their eyes, because grief always sounds different when spoken by a child.
Later that evening, after most visitors had left, the group finally sat together. The nine seats that had once always been filled now held only eight. The empty space felt enormous. Nobody sat there. Nobody even looked at it.
Seokjin poured coffee, nobody drank it. Namjoon rubbed his tired eyes. Jimin held tissues in both hands. The silence stretched. And then Hoseok laugh quietly. The sound startled everyone. He immediately covered his mouth. “I’m sorry.”
No one spoke. His eyes became red. “I just remembered.”
“What?”
He looked toward Mina’s photograph.
“Remember when she got angry because none of us remembered her birthday?”
Seokjin immediately smiled.
“She ignored us for three days.”
“Two days.”
“Three.”
“She made us buy her cake.”
“Two cakes.”
The memories slowly emerged. Small things. Ordinary things. Mina refusing to watch horror movies. Mina crying during advertisements. Mina collecting movie tickets. Mina taking pictures of everyone’s food. Mina remembering every birthday. Mina forcing everyone to wear matching sweaters at Christmas. The room softened. Grief loosened its grip for a moment. Then your eyes found her photograph again. And another memory appeared.
You were sixteen. Rain tapped against your bedroom windows. Mina lay across your bed eating chips. Your textbooks remained untouched. Your hands shook because you held a folded piece of paper.
A confession letter for Jungkook. Your stomach twisted.
“I can’t give this to him.”
Mina snatched the paper.
“You spent three hours writing it.”
“It’s embarrassing.”
She began reading. "Dear Jungkook, I think I like you."
You covered your face. “Stop.”
She laughed. “This is terrible.”
“I know.”
“No, seriously. This is awful.”
You threw a pillow at her. She continued laughing.
“You sound like you’re applying for a bank loan.”
“Then help me.”
And she did, for hours. She crossed out sentences. Changed words. Added hearts. Removed hearts. She asked: “What do you like about him?”
You answered. His smile. His kindness. The way he always carried everyone’s bags. The way he remembered small things.
She listened patiently. She helped you write a love letter to the man who would eventually become her husband. The memory arrived so suddenly that your chest hurt. Your eyes burned.
Because she had known for years. She knew every crush. Every hidden feeling. Every terrible poem. Every moment your heart broke. And still she had loved you.
Still she sat beside you during college. Still she held your hand after your own breakups. Still she cried during your graduation. Still she called you her soulmate.
Your breathing became uneven. You quietly stood. Nobody stopped you. The hallway outside the funeral room was empty. Soft music played somewhere in the distance. Vending machines hummed. Rain touched the windows. You leaned against the wall. Your eyes filled. How could you sit inside that room? How could you look at Mina’s photograph while remembering all those conversations? How could you grieve her while still carrying love for her husband?
Inside the funeral room, someone called Jungkook's name. You turned. He stood near the altar alone. His shoulders looked tired. His eyes found yours, only for a second. Then someone approached him again.
Another condolence. Another bow. Another piece of his grief shared with strangers. You suddenly remembered the letter. The confession. The words sixteen-year-old you had never delivered. And standing in a funeral home surrounded by white flowers, you realized something terrifying.
You had spent years convincing yourself your first love was over. But grief had reached backward through time and touched every version of you. The thirteen-year-old girl. The sixteen-year-old girl. The college student. The adult. All of them still existed. All of them still remembered.
Inside the funeral room, Mina continued smiling from her photograph. As if she already knew every secret sitting inside your heart. As if she had always known. And perhaps she had.
Because the greatest guilt was not loving Jungkook. The greatest guilt was realizing that your best friend had spent years helping you love him while never understanding that one day she would become the person standing between you.
That night, after the final visitors left, the funeral hall became quiet. Only family remained. Only your group. Only exhaustion.
Outside, night had returned. Rain still clung to the windows. Streetlights reflected against wet pavement, turning the roads outside into long ribbons of gold and silver. Somewhere below the building, a taxi door slammed shut. The city continued breathing while grief remained trapped inside four walls.
The large clock near the entrance read eleven twenty-three. Nearly forty-eight hours. Forty-eight hours since Namjoon’s phone call. Forty-eight hours since Mina had become a photograph.
The room felt smaller at night. White chrysanthemums surrounded the framed picture at the center of the altar. Candles flickered softly. The scent of incense had settled into your clothes, your hair, your skin. You wondered if you would ever stop smelling it.
Jungkook sat near the front. His tie had loosened. His eyes had become darker. He stood. He sat. He nodded. He looked exactly like someone surviving minute by minute.
The others had scattered around the room. Seokjin was asleep in his chair. Jimin sat beside Hana’s stroller because the little girl had finally fallen asleep after crying for almost an hour. Namjoon quietly reviewed funeral schedules with Hoseok. Taehyung remained near the window. Nobody possessed enough energy for conversation anymore.
The sound of footsteps entering the hall felt unusually loud. Everyone looked up. A police officer stood near the entrance. He was the same officer from the hospital. Young, careful, the kind of person who understood he had entered a room full of broken people.
He bowed respectfully. “Mr. Jeon.”
Jungkook slowly lifted his head. The officer glanced toward the others.
“May I speak with you privately?”
Something changed inside the room. Very small, very quiet, but everyone felt it.
Jungkook looked exhausted. “Can you say it here?”
The officer hesitated. His fingers tightened around the folder in his hands.
“I believe it would be better privately.”
Seokjin stood. “Whatever it is, we’re family.”
The words settled between all of you.
Family. Not by blood. Not by law. But by years.
Birthdays. Graduations. Heartbreaks. Life.
The officer looked uncertain. His eyes moved from one face to another.
Eight people. One child sleeping nearby. One photograph watching from the altar. He finally nodded.
“There are a few details regarding the accident that still require confirmation.”
Nobody spoke. The officer opened the folder. His voice remained careful.
“The collision involved two victims.”
Jungkook nodded once. “We know.”
The officer lowered his eyes.
“The second victim was an adult male.”
Silence. The clock continued ticking. Somewhere outside, rain touched the windows. The words themselves did not feel unusual.
Traffic accidents involved people. Passengers. Coworkers. Drivers. Life placed strangers together all the time. Namjoon asked quietly: “Who was he?”
The officer looked down at the documents.
“We are still contacting family members.”
Jungkook's voice came slowly.
“Was he driving?”
“Yes.”
Another silence. Jimin frowned slightly.
"I thought Mina was taking an Uber."
The officer looked up. Your stomach tightened. Because Mina had landed that afternoon. She was supposed to go directly to the airport for another business trip the following morning. That was what everyone knew. That was the schedule. That was what she told everyone.
Jungkook spoke again. “Where did the accident happen?”
The officer answered. A district far from the airport. Far from her office. Far from home.
The room became quieter. Nobody said anything. Because grief leaves very little room for questions. The officer closed the folder.
“There are still details being investigated. If we require additional information, we will contact you.”
Jungkook nodded. The officer bowed.
“I am very sorry for your loss.”
And then he left. The sound of the closing door echoed through the room. Nobody immediately spoke.
Namjoon looked thoughtful. Seokjin stared at the floor. Jimin glanced toward Mina’s photograph. You felt something unfamiliar. Because the information did not fit.
Mina hated driving at night. She avoided taxis whenever possible. She texted the group constantly whenever she traveled. She always updated Jungkook. Always.
The silence finally broke when Hoseok quietly said:
“Maybe it was a coworker.”
Namjoon nodded. “Probably.”
Jimin agreed. “She traveled all the time.”
The conversation ended there. Because none of you wanted to continue. Because grief still occupied too much space. Because the dead deserve gentleness.
Hours later, the funeral hall had become almost completely silent. The others rested. Some slept. Some pretended to. Hana remained asleep beside her grandmother. Only the soft light from the altar illuminated the room.
You stepped outside onto the small balcony near the hallway. The rain had weakened. The city stretched below. Apartment windows glowed. Traffic lights changed. A convenience store sign blinked across the street. You heard footsteps behind you.
Jungkook. He stopped beside you. For several minutes neither of you spoke. The cool air entered the silence between you. His voice finally came.
“I forgot she was coming home.”
You looked at him. “What?”
He stared at the city. “The business trip.”
His hands rested against the railing. “She landed that afternoon.”
You remembered. The group chat. Mina complaining about airplane food. A picture from the airport. A selfie. The timestamp. Three thirty-eight.
“I was working.”
His voice remained distant. “Hana was sick that week.”
He swallowed. “We argued.”
You turned toward him. “About what?”
He laughed softly. The sound hurt. “I don’t even remember.”
The city lights reflected in his eyes. “Probably work.”
He closed his eyes briefly. “Everything became work.”
You remained quiet. Because he needed to speak. And perhaps because nobody else had asked. He looked toward the rain.
“She was barely home these past months.”
The sentence settled between you. Not accusation, only exhaustion. “Her company kept sending her away.”
You remembered the canceled dinners. The missed gatherings. The excuses.
Sorry, flight got delayed. Sorry, another meeting. Sorry, maybe next time. You had all accepted it.
Adults became busy. Life happened. People traveled. Marriages changed. “You know how she was.”
His smile barely appeared. “She couldn’t sit still.”
You nodded. Mina had always moved. Always planned. Always organized. Always chased the next thing. The next trip. The next promotion. The next goal. He rubbed his hands together.
“She landed the other day.”
He looked confused. As though speaking the words aloud made them strange.
"She said she had another trip the next morning."
“The airport?”
He nodded. “But the accident happened nowhere near the airport.”
The wind moved through the balcony. Rain continued falling somewhere in the distance. Your chest felt tight.
You wanted to explain. To protect Mina. To tell him there must be a reason. But you realized you knew nothing. None of you did.
Jungkook looked down. “I don’t know where she was going.”
The honesty in his voice frightened you. Because husbands should know. Shouldn’t they?
You thought of Mina. Her laughter. Her photographs. The confession letter. The years. Your best friend.
You thought of Jungkook sitting beside a hospital bed saying she was cold. And suddenly the space between those two people felt impossibly large.
He looked at you. For the first time all evening.
“Did she ever say anything to you?”
You opened your mouth. Nothing came. Because she had been distant. Busy. Tired.
You remembered unanswered messages. Canceled coffee dates. Phone calls cut short because of meetings. You remembered telling yourself adulthood was simply like this.
“No.”
His eyes lowered. “I see.”
The rain finally stopped. Only the sound of cars remained. The city stretched endlessly before you. Two people stood beneath the dim funeral home lights trying to understand the final hours of someone they both loved.
Inside, Mina’s photograph continued smiling. As if she carried answers nobody else could reach. As if somewhere behind that familiar smile she had left behind an entire life none of you had seen. And for the first time since her death, a question entered the room. Where had Mina been going?
The final night of the wake arrived without anyone noticing. Perhaps grief had exhausted all of you too thoroughly for dates and time to matter anymore. The clocks inside the funeral hall continued moving, but the people sitting beneath the soft lights had stopped measuring hours somewhere around the second day. Morning became coffee. Afternoon became visitors. Evening became prayers. Night became another attempt to survive until sunrise.
Outside, the rain had finally stopped. The city looked strangely clean through the large windows lining the hallway. The roads reflected streetlights. Restaurants remained crowded. Couples walked beneath umbrellas that were no longer necessary. A delivery motorcycle sped past the funeral home carrying someone’s dinner. Life had resumed, only yours had not.
The funeral hall had become a second home. Blankets lay folded over chairs. Phone chargers stretched toward outlets. Half-finished cups of coffee occupied every table. The scent of incense had settled permanently into your clothes. White chrysanthemums stood everywhere, surrounding Mina’s photograph, the altar, the entrance, the coffin. You wondered if flowers ever became tired of attending funerals.
When you arrived that evening carrying food containers and paper bags, Seokjin was arguing with the staff because everyone had skipped dinner again.
“I am absolutely not letting grown adults survive on crackers.”
Hoseok looked exhausted. “Nobody’s hungry.”
Seokjin pointed at him. “Especially you.”
Jimin sat cross-legged beside Hana, helping her color inside a small notebook somebody had bought at the convenience store. Namjoon spoke quietly with Jungkook's father near the entrance. Taehyung adjusted the air conditioner because the room had become too cold. And Yoongi sat near the window. He had always occupied the quiet spaces, even as a teenager, even now. His black shirt was slightly wrinkled. His hair had fallen over his forehead. He held a paper cup between both hands that had long gone cold. When he saw you, he simply nodded. No greeting. No question. He knew. He always knew.
At the front of the room, beside the flowers, sat Jungkook. The same chair. The same position. The same empty eyes. He had barely moved in four days. His daughter slept against his mother’s shoulder. His suit jacket rested beside him. The tie around his neck had loosened hours ago. The shadows beneath his eyes had deepened enough to frighten you.
You realized you had not seen him smile since the phone call. You realized you had not heard him laugh in almost a week. That realization hurt more than you expected. Because Jeon Jungkook had always laughed. As a teenager, as a college student, as a husband, as a father. The boy who once laughed so hard he nearly fell from his chair during study sessions now sat motionless beside his wife’s coffin. The distance between those two versions of him felt unbearable.
Dinner happened because Mina would have demanded it. Nobody had the strength to refuse. The eight of you gathered around two pushed-together tables while Hana sat on Jimin’s lap eating rice one spoonful at a time. The food tasted like nothing. Everyone chewed because chewing required less effort than speaking. Eventually, Taehyung quietly said, “She would hate this.”
Jimin looked up. “What?”
“All of us looking miserable.”
A small smile appeared on Hoseok’s face. “She’d tell us to stop being dramatic.”
“She’d definitely yell at Jungkook.”
At the mention of his name, Jungkook looked up. Jimin smiled weakly. “You haven’t eaten properly for four days.”
For several seconds nobody spoke. Then Jungkook quietly answered, “I know.”
The sound of his voice startled everyone. Because he had barely spoken. Seokjin immediately placed food in front of him. “Eat.”
Jungkook looked down at the bowl. His fingers wrapped around the spoon. And for the first time since Mina died, he sat with all of you.
The movement itself felt important. The empty chair beside him remained untouched. Mina’s chair. Nobody sat there. Nobody could.
Conversation came slowly. At first only small memories. Then larger ones. Namjoon remembered the middle school festival where Mina accidentally set her costume on fire. Seokjin remembered her forcing everyone to wear ugly Christmas sweaters. Taehyung remembered her driving lessons. Jimin remembered her crying during animated films. Hoseok remembered her calling him at three in the morning because she forgot her own birthday party reservations. Yoongi remembered the day she punched a boy who made you cry.
Everyone laughed, even Jungkook. Only once, very softly, but he laughed. For one hour, Mina returned. Not through photographs. Not through flowers. Through stories. The way she deserved.
Eventually Hana woke. Her small voice broke through the conversation. “Daddy.”
Jungkook immediately lifted her onto his lap. She touched his face. Her tiny fingers traced the dark circles beneath his eyes. “You sad?”
The entire table fell silent. He kissed her forehead. “A little.”
She looked toward the front of the room. Toward the flowers. Toward the coffin. Toward the woman she would eventually forget.
“Mommy sleeping?”
His eyes closed, only for a second. When he opened them, they shined beneath the lights. “Yeah.”
“When wake up?”
Nobody breathed. He held his daughter closer.
“I don’t know.”
She accepted the answer.
Hours passed. The funeral hall became quieter. One by one the lights were dimmed. And somewhere close to midnight, you realized something.
You still had not looked at Mina. For four days you had avoided her. You looked at the flowers. The visitors. The photographs. The floor. The walls. Everything except your best friend. Because seeing her meant losing her. And losing her felt impossible.
You stood before you could change your mind. Your footsteps echoed softly. The white flowers surrounded her. The candles flickered. The room disappeared. And finally, after four days of refusing, you looked.
Mina. Your Mina. The girl who stole your lunch because she forgot hers. The girl who slept beside you during sleepovers. The girl who held your hand during exams. The girl who knew about Jungkook before anyone else.
She looked peaceful. Too peaceful. As though somebody had erased all the movement from her.
Your knees weakened. Your tears fell immediately. You sat beside her. Everyone quietly looked away. This belonged to you. To both of you. Your voice finally broke.
“You promised me we’d be neighbors.”
“You said we’d grow old together.”
The room had disappeared. Only the two of you remained.
“You promised we’d embarrass our children.”
You laughed through tears.
“You said we’d become old ladies who complained about our husbands.”
Your breathing shook.
“I still have stories to tell you.”
You looked at her face. The same face that knew every version of you.
Thirteen. Sixteen. Twenty. Thirty.
The girl who sat beside you while you cried over Jungkook. The girl who helped you write your confession. The girl who hugged you after heartbreaks. The girl who became family. Your voice grew smaller.
“You knew.”
The tears became heavier. “You knew I loved him.”
Silence. “I tried so hard.”
You covered your mouth. “I tried to be a good friend.”
The guilt finally escaped. The terrible guilt you carried. “I never wanted this.”
Your shoulders shook.
“I would have chosen you every single time.”
Your forehead rested against her hand.
“I would have given him to you a thousand times if it meant you stayed.”
The room cried quietly. Because grief makes honesty unavoidable.
“I don’t know how to do this without you.”
You closed your eyes and whispered, “I’m angry at you.”
Your tears continued. “You left me here.”
You imagined her voice. Her laughter. Her scolding. Her calling you dramatic. And suddenly you realized something devastating. You would spend the rest of your life missing someone who knew every version of you.
When you finally stepped outside, Yoongi sat alone. Two cans of beer rested beside him. He handed one over. The city stretched below. You sat beside him. He didn’t ask if you cried. He already knew. After several minutes he quietly said:
“Do you remember the engagement?”
The memory returned instantly, the restaurant bathed in warm light, the cold winter air outside, the ring glimmering beneath the chandelier, Mina crying as she covered her mouth, Jungkook smiling beside her, and the sound of applause filling the room while your own heart shattered silently inside your chest. The pain of that night came rushing back all at once, leaving you unable to breathe for a moment, and all you could do was lower your gaze and nod.
Yoongi looked toward the city. “You drank until sunrise.”
You laughed weakly. “You stayed.”
He shrugged. “Someone had to.”
The convenience store. The cold air. The bottle between both of you. Your tears. The engagement ring burning inside your memory. You remembered asking him, “Do you think he would’ve loved me?”
Yoongi had been quiet for a very long time. The sunrise had begun appearing. Traffic lights changed. The city slowly woke. Then he answered.
“I think you met him at the wrong time.”
You looked at him now. Years later, funeral lights replacing convenience store lights. Death replacing engagement. And somehow the pain remained the same. Your voice shook. “I hate myself.”
Yoongi finally looked at you.
“Because you still love him?”
You nodded.
He sighed. “You can love him and still love her.”
The words settled quietly. Because he was right. You loved Mina. You loved Jungkook. And both loves hurt.
Inside the funeral hall, Jungkook remained seated beside Hana, his daughter asleep against his shoulder, her small body curled safely against him. His fingers moved absentmindedly through her hair, a quiet gesture of comfort in a room filled with grief and silence. The soft ringing of his phone suddenly broke through the stillness.
He glanced at the screen and answered. At first, his expression remained unreadable, almost detached, as he listened to the voice on the other end. But slowly, something shifted. His brows drew together. His eyes narrowed. His breathing became uneven, his grip tightening around the phone.
Across the room, Namjoon immediately rose from his seat. Hoseok looked up. The atmosphere changed. No one spoke as Jungkook continued listening, the conversation stretching for several long minutes. The only sounds were the muffled voices from the call and the distant hum of the funeral hall, while everyone watched the color slowly drain from his face. When Jungkook returned, he looked pale.
“What happened?”
He sat down. The room felt colder.
“The police identified him.”
Nobody spoke.
“The driver.”
His eyes remained fixed on the floor.
“I thought he worked with Mina.”
Silence.
“He didn’t.”
Namjoon frowned. “What?”
“The company confirmed it.”
His voice cracked. “He never worked there.”
Your heart dropped. The room seemed to fall into complete silence, as if even the air had stopped moving. Because Mina traveled constantly. Everyone knew that. Business trips. Conferences. Flights. Hotels. Endless meetings in unfamiliar cities. She was always moving, always rushing somewhere, always saying she would be back in a few days. No one had ever questioned it. But suddenly, amid the shock and grief, one detail resurfaced.
The man sitting behind the wheel. The man who had driven her that night. The stranger no one had recognized.
Jungkook looked toward the coffin. Toward his wife. Toward the woman he would bury in several hours. His eyes filled. And for the first time since her death, confusion entered his grief.
“If he wasn’t her coworker…”
His voice became smaller. “…then who was he?”
Nobody answered. Because beneath the soft funeral lights, surrounded by white flowers and the people who loved her most, Mina remained silent.
And outside, dawn slowly approached. The last night had almost ended. Tomorrow they would bury her. But tonight, as questions quietly gathered around the woman he loved, Jeon Jungkook realized something far more frightening than death.
He no longer understood the final year of his marriage. And somewhere deep inside your chest, as you looked toward your best friend one last time, you felt the first crack appear. Not in your grief, in the story all of you thought you knew.
The morning of the burial arrived beneath a sky so painfully beautiful that it almost felt cruel. For five days the world had seemed to mourn alongside all of you. Rain had fallen against funeral home windows. Gray clouds had hidden the sun. The streets had looked washed clean, quiet, subdued. Even the city itself had appeared softer, as if something inside it understood that a woman named Mina had died.
But this morning, sunlight spilled across the roads. The sky stretched endlessly blue. The wind carried the scent of trees.
People walked to work. Children waited for school buses. Somewhere, someone was buying coffee. The world had chosen to continue. And all of you hated it for that.
You woke before your alarm. The apartment felt unfamiliar in the pale light of dawn. Your black dress hung beside the closet door. You had ironed it the previous night because your hands needed something to do. The sunglasses rested on your dresser. Mina had once laughed at you for never wearing sunglasses.
“You complain about the sun every single day but refuse to buy a pair.”
Jungkook had laughed. You had rolled your eyes. Mina stole your iced coffee. It had happened years ago. A meaningless afternoon. Yet somehow your chest hurt remembering it.
The dress felt heavier than it should have, its dark fabric settling against your skin like a weight you could not escape. Your fingers trembled as you fastened each button, struggling against the quiet ache that had settled deep inside your chest. When you finally looked up, the mirror reflected a woman you barely recognized.
A woman dressed in black. Her eyes were swollen from nights without sleep. Her shoulders carried an exhaustion that no amount of rest could ease. The light that once lived within her had dimmed, softened by loss and endless sorrow.
Grief had changed everyone. It had carved itself into tired faces, hollowed voices, and silences that lingered too long. It had aged people in a matter of days, turning familiar reflections into strangers. And as you stood there staring at yourself, you realized that grief was not only something people carried—it was something that quietly altered them, piece by piece, until even the person in the mirror no longer felt entirely your own.
Outside your apartment window, the city continued waking. Inside, your world remained frozen.
The cemetery sat on a hillside outside Seoul. Tall trees surrounded the grounds. Their shadows stretched across the grass. The air felt warm despite the early hour. White tents had been prepared beside the grave. Rows of black chairs faced the casket resting above the earth.
The coffin looked smaller outside. Inside the funeral home it had been surrounded by flowers and candles and soft lighting. Here, beneath the enormous sky, it looked heartbreakingly alone.
Jungkook stood beside it. He had arrived before everyone. His suit jacket remained unbuttoned. His tie hung loosely around his neck. The wind moved through his dark hair. He looked toward the casket. Only the casket. As though he was trying to memorize it. As though if he looked long enough he might somehow understand how his entire life had changed in less than a week.
You stopped several feet away. He didn’t notice you. Or perhaps he did and simply lacked the strength to speak.
Hana slept against his mother’s shoulder nearby. Her small black shoes dangled above the grass. She held her stuffed rabbit tightly against her chest. Children carried grief differently. She had asked for her mother every morning. Every night. Every meal. Jungkook had no answers. None of you did.
One by one, everyone arrived—Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook, and you. For years, there had always been nine of you, an unbreakable circle that felt permanent, as if no amount of time or distance could ever change it. But as you stood together beneath the gray sky, dressed in black and surrounded by flowers meant for goodbye, the truth settled heavily inside your chest. There were only eight of you standing there now. One place remained empty. One voice was missing. Mina was no longer among you, and for the first time, the group that had once felt complete never would be again. The realization was almost unbearable.
Your ex-boyfriend Minhyuk arrived shortly before the service began. He had remained friends with Mina long after your relationship ended. She had insisted upon it. People often stayed because of Mina. She had that effect.
He approached quietly. His eyes looked exhausted.
“I still can’t believe it.”
Neither could you.
The priest eventually began speaking. The wind carried his words through the cemetery. The promises of heaven. The promises of peace. The promises that people tell one another because death is too large to survive without hope.
You heard almost none of it. Because your eyes kept finding Jungkook. His daughter sat on his lap. Every few minutes she touched his face. “Daddy sad?”
He would kiss her forehead. “A little.”
“Mommy coming home?”
The question broke everyone. Jungkook never answered immediately. He always needed a few seconds. He looked at his daughter. Looked toward the casket. Then quietly said, “Mommy loves you very much.”
Hana seemed satisfied. Children accept love as an answer. Adults need explanations.
When the priest finally asked whether anyone wished to speak, Namjoon stood first. His voice shook. He spoke about middle school. The classroom. The first group project. How one loud girl with messy handwriting and too much confidence somehow turned strangers into family.
Seokjin spoke next. Then Jimin. Then Hoseok. Taehyung could barely finish. Yoongi stood quietly before the microphone. Everyone watched him. Yoongi rarely spoke about his feelings, even now, even after fifteen years.
He looked toward the casket. Then toward the group.“Mina collected people.”
A small smile appeared. “She collected lonely people. Awkward people. Loud people. Quiet people.”
His eyes became red. “And she refused to let any of them leave.”
He looked at Jungkook, at Hana, at all of you. “So I think she’d be angry if we started leaving now.”
Silence settled. Because everyone understood. The only reason the eight of you still existed as a family was because Mina had spent years making sure of it.
Then the priest looked toward Jungkook. No one expected him to stand. For days he had barely spoken. For days grief had hollowed him out. But slowly, carefully, he rose. Hana remained in his arms. The wind moved softly through the trees. The entire cemetery became quiet.
Jungkook looked toward the casket. For a long time he said nothing. His eyes remained fixed on the polished wood. And when he finally spoke, his voice sounded smaller than anyone had ever heard.
“When I met Mina, I was fourteen.”
He smiled faintly. “She talked too much.”
Soft laughter. Tears.
“She stole my lunch during our second week of school.”
Another small smile. “I remember thinking she was the most annoying person I’d ever met.”
His eyes filled. “And then somehow she became my friend.”
The wind passed through the trees. He adjusted Hana against his shoulder. His hand moved gently through his daughter’s hair. "I have known her for half my life."
The words settled heavily. “She saw every version of me.”
His voice trembled. “The angry one. The immature one. The scared one.”
His eyes lowered. “The husband.”
He looked at Hana. “The father.”
Silence. “I don’t know how to do this.”
His tears finally fell. The entire cemetery cried with him. Because grief is unbearable when someone speaks honestly.
“I wake up every morning and she’s gone.”
His breathing shook. “Hana asks where her mother is.”
He swallowed. “And I don’t know how to answer her.”
He looked at his daughter. The little girl rested quietly against him. She did not understand. She simply knew her father sounded sad.
Jungkook kissed her forehead. “My biggest fear isn’t being alone.”
His voice broke. “It’s that one day Hana won’t remember her mother’s voice.”
Nobody moved. Nobody breathed.
“I don’t want her to forget how much Mina loved her.”
His shoulders trembled. “I don’t want our daughter growing up wondering if her mother would’ve stayed.”
His tears fell freely now. “I just wanted more time.”
The cemetery had become silent except for crying. Jungkook looked toward the casket. Toward his wife. Toward the woman he had built his entire future around. And softly, almost like a prayer, he said, “Thank you for giving me Hana.”
The sunlight touched his face. His voice became smaller. “I’ll take care of her.”
Another tear. “I promise.”
His hand rested against the casket. “I love you.”
The casket slowly descended. The ropes moved. The earth waited. And something inside every person present broke.
Jimin cried openly, his tears falling without restraint. Seokjin covered his face with trembling hands, unable to hide his grief. Namjoon stood beside Jungkook, his hand resting firmly on his shoulder as if it were the only thing keeping him upright. Taehyung turned away, his eyes fixed on the distant horizon because he could not bear to look any longer. Hoseok quietly wiped at his tears, while Yoongi lowered his head, his silence speaking louder than words. And you cried until your entire body ached, until your chest felt hollow from the weight of everything you had lost. Because your best friend had disappeared beneath the earth. Because the boy you had once loved had lost the woman he built his life with. Because a little girl would grow up with memories of her mother that would never be enough. Flowers slowly covered the grave as condolences faded into silence. One by one, relatives said their goodbyes, cars disappeared down the cemetery road, and the crowd gradually thinned until only the people who had loved her most remained. The group, standing together in their grief, and Jungkook, left behind with the unbearable reality that he now had to continue living without her.
The sunlight had softened into a pale golden glow, casting long shadows across the cemetery as the wind carried the scent of grass and freshly turned earth. Hana had fallen asleep against Jungkook’s chest, her small arms wrapped around him as if afraid to let go. He sat motionless beside the grave, his eyes fixed somewhere beyond the rows of flowers, exhaustion etched into every line of his face. In a single day, he seemed years older, as though grief had quietly stolen the light from him. Behind him, the cemetery stretched in silence, endless and still beneath the fading sky. You slowly walked toward him, your footsteps gentle against the grass. When he finally looked up, his eyes were tired, hollow, and unbearably lost. Your throat tightened, but you forced the words out softly, almost afraid to disturb the silence between you. “I’ll come tomorrow.”
He looked at you. “Tomorrow?”
“I can help with Hana. The house. Anything.”
For several seconds he said nothing. His eyes moved toward his sleeping daughter, then back toward you.
“You don’t have to.”
“I know.”
The silence between both of you felt familiar. Older than adulthood. Older than grief. The silence of two people who had known one another for fifteen years. You smiled weakly. “Mina would haunt me if I didn’t.”
For the first time that entire day, something flickered in his eyes. It was not happiness, happiness no longer belonged here. It was not relief, either, because nothing could lessen the weight resting on his shoulders. But there was recognition, as if your words had reached a part of him buried beneath the grief.
A small, broken smile. “She probably would.”
Your eyes filled again. “I’ll come after breakfast.”
His voice grew quiet. “Thank you.”
Two simple words, yet they carried years within them. Years of friendship, distance, memories, and the quiet ache of everything that had changed. You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him. For a moment, Jungkook remained still, as if he had forgotten how to be held, before his arms slowly came around you. Only two people standing in the aftermath of a loss too great to understand. Jungkook’s grip tightened for a brief second. You felt his shoulders tremble once beneath your hands, so slight that anyone else would have missed it. But you felt it. The crack in the man who had spent the entire day holding himself together for everyone else.
When you finally stepped away, neither of you spoke. Namjoon was the first to pull you into a hug, his arms steady and warm. Seokjin followed, his eyes still red. Then Jimin, whose tears had never truly stopped. Taehyung embraced you quietly, Hoseok held your hand for a moment longer than necessary, and Yoongi simply pulled you close, saying nothing at all.
One by one, they held you. The eight of you stood together one final time before returning to separate lives. The family Mina built. The family she left behind.
Eventually, you turned and began walking toward your car. The cemetery had grown quiet, the murmurs of condolences long gone, leaving only the sound of the wind moving through the trees. The sun had begun to sink behind the horizon, painting the sky in shades of gold and fading gray. Halfway to the parking lot, you stopped and looked back one last time.
Jungkook was still there. He stood alone beside the grave, unmoving against the evening light. Hana slept peacefully against his shoulder, unaware of how much the world had changed in a single day. One of his hands rested gently on the flowers covering the fresh earth, as if he could still reach her somehow, as if letting go would make the loss real.
A husband. A father. A man who had just buried the love of his life. And for the first time since receiving the phone call, something inside you shifted. The realization terrified you.
For years, you had carried the memory of the boy Jungkook used to be, the boy who laughed too loudly, who dreamed beside you, who felt endless and untouchable in the way only youth can be. The boy you had quietly loved had remained frozen somewhere in your heart, untouched by time.
But the man standing beside that grave was not that boy anymore. He was someone entirely different. Someone broken. Someone exhausted. Someone whose eyes carried sleepless nights and unbearable loss. Someone holding a sleeping child against his chest while facing a future he had never imagined he would have to endure alone.
The years had changed him. Grief had changed him. And as you stood there watching him beneath the fading sunlight, you realized that the person you had spent years loving no longer existed. He had been left behind somewhere in the past, replaced by a man carrying responsibilities too heavy for one person to bear. And somehow, that realization hurt almost as much as the funeral itself.
The first night after the burial felt quieter than grief. Grief, at least, made noise. It came with crying relatives, ringing phones, funeral prayers, chairs scraping against marble floors, whispered condolences, footsteps outside viewing rooms, the soft crackle of candles burning themselves into wax.
But silence, silence was cruel. Silence meant everyone had gone home. Silence meant the flowers remained behind at the cemetery. Silence meant Mina no longer existed anywhere except inside the people who loved her.
You unlocked your apartment sometime after six. You could not remember the drive. You remembered traffic lights. You remembered stopping at one intersection for far too long because the red light reflected against your windshield exactly the way the funeral candles had reflected against the glass coffin. You remembered hearing Mina laugh somewhere inside your memory. You remembered Jungkook standing beside the grave. Everything else felt blurred.
Your apartment welcomed you with darkness. You did not turn on the lights. The late afternoon sun slipped through the curtains, painting long shadows across your living room. Your heels remained near the front door. Your purse slid from your shoulder onto the couch.
The black dress still carried the scent of the funeral. White chrysanthemums. Fresh earth. Incense. Damp grass beneath countless footsteps. The fragrances had woven themselves into the fabric, clinging to you long after the cemetery had disappeared. They settled against your skin like a memory you could not wash away, a quiet reminder of flowers laid upon a grave, of tears shed beneath a gray sky, and of a goodbye that still felt impossible to believe.
You stood in the middle of the apartment for several minutes without moving. For five days you had never truly been alone. There had always been somebody. Namjoon, Jimin, relatives, Mina’s parents, funeral attendants, Jungkook, Hana. Now there was only you and the silence.
Eventually, you walked toward the kitchen, drawn there more by habit than intention. The apartment remained dark except for the pale light spilling from the refrigerator as you opened the door. Inside sat ordinary things—milk, vegetables, leftover takeout containers, things that belonged to everyday life and somehow felt painfully untouched. Then your eyes landed on a bottle of red wine.
Your fingers froze. Mina had bought it. The memory came back instantly, sharp and unforgiving.
Five years earlier. A crowded grocery store on a quiet Saturday afternoon. The wheels of the cart squeaked against the floor as soft music played overhead and sunlight streamed through the glass windows. Mina stood at the end of the aisle, holding a bottle of red wine above her head
“We need emergency wine.”
You frowned. “For what emergency?”
She looked at you. “For your emotional problems.”
You rolled your eyes. “I don’t have emotional problems.”
She laughed. “You’ve loved the same man since puberty.”
Jungkook had been choosing cereal two aisles away. You nearly died. She bought the wine anyway.
“For future disasters.”
You remembered that. And suddenly your eyes filled. Because neither of you had known what the disaster would become.
You opened the bottle. The sound echoed inside the apartment. You poured one glass, then another. Rain slowly began tapping against the windows. The weather had finally remembered.
You carried the bottle of wine toward your desk, your footsteps quiet against the apartment floor. The laptop still sat exactly where you had left it five days earlier, untouched and waiting. Before the phone call. Before the hospital corridors. Before the funeral flowers. Before Mina became a photograph standing beside a candle.
For a moment, you simply stared at it. The screen illuminated your face as it came to life, casting a pale glow across the dark room. Familiar folders appeared one by one. Work. Bills. Writing. Photos. Small pieces of a life that had continued moving while yours had come to a complete stop. And then you saw it. A folder buried between everything else.
FOR EVERY IMPORTANT EVENT
Mina named it after university graduation. After too much wine. After promises neither of you thought would matter. She had pointed at your laptop. “We’re saving everything.”
You laughed. “Everything?”
“Everything.”
“What if we become embarrassing adults?”
She smiled. “Especially then.”
The folder opened. Hundreds. Thousands. Photographs, videos, and voice notes filled the screen, years of life carefully preserved inside digital folders. Trips taken on impulsive weekends. Birthday celebrations crowded with candles and laughter. Christmas parties that stretched late into the night. College days. Prom dresses. Beach vacations beneath summer skies. Hospital visits. First apartments. Small victories. Ordinary afternoons that had once seemed forgettable.
Your fingers moved slowly across the trackpad, each file opening a different version of the past. There was Mina laughing with cake on her face. Mina dancing badly in a living room. Mina crying at graduation. Mina holding Hana for the first time.
Pieces of a life. Proof that she had existed in thousands of little moments. And then your eyes landed on another folder.
BRIDAL SHOWER
Your fingers stopped moving. The wine glass rested beside your laptop, the dark red liquid catching the faint glow of the screen. Red wine. Deep red. Almost the same shade as that night. You looked down at it. The scent. The color. The reflection against the glass. And slowly, the apartment around you began to disappear. And suddenly, you were somewhere else.
Three years earlier. Standing inside Mina’s apartment. Warm lights. Soft music playing from the speakers. The smell of takeout filling the kitchen. Laughter echoing through the living room.
The bridal shower. Mina’s bridal shower. Your best friend wore white. You remembered thinking that nobody should look that happy. Because happiness looked dangerous.
She sat cross-legged on the floor surrounded by gifts while the girls screamed every time she opened another box. Laughter filled every corner. Mina looked toward you.
“Y/N, stop hiding.”
You raised your wine glass. “I’m supervising.”
“You’re avoiding the games.”
“I’m an adult.”
She pointed. “You lost that privilege years ago.”
Everyone laughed, you laughed too. Because laughing was easier.
The evening passed beautifully. People talked. Music played. Someone cried. Someone danced. Mina opened gifts. You took photographs. You smiled. You smiled so often your cheeks hurt. Because your best friend was getting married. Because the person she loved loved her back. Because the life she dreamed about was finally happening. And because you loved her enough to celebrate it.
People slowly began to leave. Conversations faded into goodbyes, the front door opening and closing until the apartment grew quieter with each passing hour. Midnight arrived. Then one. Then two. Eventually, only the two of you remained. Empty wine glasses covered the coffee table, and the city lights beyond the windows painted the room in shades of gold and blue. The music had long since stopped, leaving only the distant sound of traffic far below.
Mina sat on the floor beside you, your shoulders resting against the couch, your legs stretched across the carpet. Between you sat the nearly empty bottle of red wine, forgotten in the middle of a conversation neither of you wanted to end. The warmth of the alcohol had softened the edges of the night, making everything feel slower, quieter, more honest. For a while, neither of you spoke. Then Mina lowered her eyes to the engagement ring resting on her finger. The diamond caught the city lights as she gently turned it with her thumb, her expression growing thoughtful. “Do you think marriage changes people?”
You smiled. “You’re asking the wrong person.”
She laughed softly. “No, really.”
You looked toward the city. “I think life changes people.”
She became quiet. “What if he wakes up one day and realizes he deserves somebody better?”
The question surprised you. “Jungkook?”
She nodded slowly, her eyes never leaving the ring on her finger. Your heart ached. Because even then, she had been worried. Even then, she had been afraid. Even then, beneath the excitement, the wedding plans, and the beautiful engagement ring, there had been doubt quietly living inside her.
And suddenly, she no longer looked like a bride preparing for her future. She looked exactly like the fifteen-year-old girl who cried over exams because she was afraid of failing. The seventeen-year-old girl who stayed awake worrying about university applications and leaving home. The twenty-year-old girl who sat beside you in the middle of the night, terrified of adulthood and everything it demanded.
You reached for her hand. “He loves you.”
She stared at the ring. “How do you know?”
Because he never looked at anyone else. Because his eyes softened when you entered rooms. Because he learned how to cook because you worked late. Because he remembered your coffee. Because he loved you.
You swallowed. “Because I’ve known him for years.”
Her eyes became glassy. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Your heart cracked quietly. Because neither of you understood that one day you would have to learn.
She leaned against your shoulder. The city remained awake outside. And eventually she whispered, “You’ll always stay, right?”
You looked at her. At your best friend. At the girl who knew about your first heartbreak. Your first love. Your first failure. The girl who had carried your biggest secret for years.
You smiled. “Always.”
She fell asleep beside you around four. You remained awake. The empty wine bottle sat between you. The engagement ring sparkled softly beneath the kitchen light. And for the first time in your life, you allowed yourself to cry for the future you would never have beside your sleeping best friend.
Morning eventually came. And then the wedding. The church overlooked the river. White flowers lined the aisle. The scent of roses filled the air. The boys stood near the altar. Namjoon adjusted his tie. Seokjin complained about his shoes. Hoseok looked emotional already. Taehyung kept checking his phone. Jimin smiled at everyone. Yoongi sat beside you. And Jungkook waited.
He looked terrified. You had never seen him nervous. Not during exams. Not during presentations. Not during military enlistment. Not even during Hana’s birth years later. But that day, waiting for Mina, his hands shook.
The doors opened. You walked beside Mina. Her arm linked with yours. Her fingers trembled. She whispered, “I’m scared.”
You squeezed her hand. “He’s more scared.”
She laughed through her tears, wiping quickly at her eyes as the music began to play. Around you, the guests slowly rose to their feet, conversations fading into silence as every gaze turned toward the aisle. And then Jungkook looked up.
You would remember that expression for the rest of your life. Because people speak about love constantly. They write poems about it. They fill books with it. They build movies and songs around it, trying to capture something that often feels impossible to explain.
But sometimes love is much simpler than that. Sometimes it is a man forgetting how to breathe when he sees the woman he plans to spend the rest of his life with.
Jungkook looked at Mina as if the entire world had finally arrived. His eyes filled immediately. His smile trembled. The church disappeared for him, only Mina remained.
You reached the altar. Placed her hand inside his. His fingers closed around hers. And quietly, so nobody else heard, Jungkook looked at you. “Thank you.”
Two words, nothing more. But you understood.
Thank you for bringing her here. Thank you for loving her. Thank you for staying.
You returned to your seat beside Yoongi as the ceremony began. The music softened, the guests settled into silence, and the world seemed to narrow to the two people standing at the altar. Vows were exchanged. Promises were spoken. There was laughter between trembling breaths and tears hidden behind smiles. Mina’s hands shook as she held Jungkook’s, her fingers trembling beneath the sunlight. But it was Jungkook who cried first, his voice breaking before he could finish his vows.
The officiant spoke about marriage, about friendship, about choosing each other every single day, even when life became difficult, even when time changed people. The words drifted through the ceremony, soft and meaningful, while the afternoon sunlight poured through the windows. You listened quietly, your hands resting in your lap, and somewhere inside your chest, your heart began to break. Because you realized something.
You would never stop loving him. Perhaps the love would grow smaller with time. Perhaps it would become quieter, softer, less painful than it had once been. The sharp ache would eventually become something gentler, a feeling carried silently rather than desperately. But it would remain. And somehow, that realization no longer felt tragic. Because the people you loved most had found one another.
Yoongi quietly handed you a tissue. You looked at him. He already knew. He had known for years. You whispered, “I hate myself.”
The vows ended. The rings were exchanged. Then came the kiss. Soft applause quickly became cheers as the entire church erupted with happiness.
While everyone around you stood and applauded, you remained seated for a few seconds, unable to move. You simply looked at them. The bride. The groom. Your best friend. The boy you had loved for years. Standing together beneath the soft light, smiling through tears, beginning the life they had always dreamed of. And for a moment, all you could do was watch them, quietly saying goodbye to the future you had once imagined for yourself. And somewhere inside yourself, you made peace with it.
Because if the universe had asked you to choose between your own happiness and Mina’s, you would have given the same answer every single time.
Take my heart. Let her keep hers.
The laptop screen slowly came back into focus. Rain continued to fall against your apartment windows, heavier now, the sound filling the silence around you. Tears rested quietly on your cheeks, forgotten.
The wedding video remained paused. Mina was laughing. Jungkook was looking at her. Two people standing beneath soft light, making promises they believed would last forever.
Tomorrow morning you would go to their house. Tomorrow there would be grief. But tonight belonged to memory. Tonight belonged to the girl in white. The boy who loved her. And the woman who stood between them carrying a heart she willingly sacrificed because loving her best friend had always mattered more than being loved back.
Outside, thunder rolled softly above the city. And somewhere inside the dark apartment, with the empty wine glass beside your hand, you finally whispered the truth you had spent years swallowing.
“I would’ve chosen you every time, Mina.”
The rain answered. And for the first time since the funeral, you cried for yourself.
A/N: Thank you so much for spending a little part of your day with Chapter 2. If you’d like, please share your thoughts in the comments. I read every single one, and your messages always make my day. Chapter 3 will be posted on July 6. For those who would like early access, we’re currently on Chapter 7 over on Ko-fi. Until then, please take care of yourselves, and thank you for staying with this story. I’ll see you in the next chapter. 💓
Pairing: royal guard!Jungkook x princess!Reader, prince!Jimin x princess!Reader (ft. Yoongi & Hoseok)
Summary: In which you, princess of the Gyeongdong Dynasty, were in the middle of wedding plans. An arranged marriage that would guarantee your father's bloodline to stay on the throne.
Or in which you are assigned a new royal guard that swore to protect you with his life. Jeon Jungkook. That's his name. A name you could never forget. A name that, slowly but surely got engraved not only on your memories but also in your heart.
Love, politics, betrayal and desire. All in ancient history. A love that never should have happened, two souls that wouldn't be allowed to be together.
Warnings: angst, fluff, implied smut, pregnancy, descriptions of delivery, pregnancy complications, arranged marriage, blood, character death, heartache, yearning, forbidden love, more angst, Jimin is a sweetheart, heartbreak, fainting, heart disease, Jungkook writes poetry, funeral, mentions of reincarnation, ANGST (WARNINGS APPLY TO BOTH PARTS!) (Let me know if I missed anything!)
Word Count: 13, 152k words
A/N Hi, darlings! It's been so long since I posted Autumn for you guys and I am so terribly sorry for the months wait. I really hope you will like this third part of "Four Seasons"!
I've been working on this for months now but lately I've found new inspiration to finally finish this and trust me, it will be a total roller coaster! Thank you so much to the people who commented on the other two parts as they all gave me such motivation to return to this story!
A/N I had to divide Winter into two parts because apparently Tumblr doesn't like to have too much paragraphs in one post! The two parts of this long chapter are linked on the masterpost of this series! Please let me know what you thought of this part, I really hope you will like it and it leaves you yearning for more! Without entertaining you further, happy reading, everyone!
💜 Boraghae ARMY 💜
~Taglist for Four Season: @valhallawhispers @lovingkoalaface @seokout @ackercute @jksusawife
Isn't it beautiful how the seasons change?
Isn't it beautiful how you never do?
For you are that summer flower I once saw.
Dressed in delicate petals of love.
You are the snow that freezes my heart.
You are the soft breeze on an autumn day.
My sun during summer and my flower during spring.
But I cannot touch you. I cannot hold you like my soul wishes to do.
My darling. My love. My woman. My soul.
What did I do to not have you by my side?
Is love a crime?
Then I am a criminal, even when it was you who stole my heart.
I miss you. I want you. I need you.
I cannot breathe without you near me.
I prefer death than a fate where we can't be together.
My moon. My sun. My Queen. Owner of my being.
Jungkook jumped in his seat when the door to his room slid open. He placed his brush aside before standing up to face Hoseok.
"The Queen requests your presence in her chambers, Jungkook."
The younger man nodded and placed his papers in order before he left his room following Hoseok through the large corridors of the palace.
It has been three days since you gave birth to Prince Ha-joon. Three agonising days in which he hadn't seen a glimpse of your existence. And it was killing him. His memories of you were too far to grasp and take console in them.
Jungkook didn't recall having to walk all the way from his room to your personal chambers. He didn't remember when Hoseok announced his presence, for he was brought to reality when you spoke his name. Your voice being the only thing that could bring him back from his thoughts.
His eyes met your own in a dance of emotions that he had to clasp his hands in front of him to stop them from shaking.
"You called for me, Your Majesty."
He bowed down at you and you sighed, realising how much you hated when he bowed at you when you'd go on your knees with only a word falling from his lips. He had that power over you. That way to command you. To make you feel.
"Jungkook."
The man before you lifted his gaze and your eyes met his once more. Had it been within any other circumstances, you'd have smiled and ran toward him. How you wish you could embrace him, how you wish you could kiss him and declare your love for him. How you wish you could love him freely.
You were sitting between blankets and cushions, taking rest after the hard labour. The prince lied next to you as he slept soundly while being wrapped up in luxurious fabric.
"I haven't seen you in a while."
He smiled. Not that smile that reached his eyes or that warmed your insides. It made you shiver with the sadness within it. Like a cold breeze on a winter day.
"I was told you were to rest, my Queen. Captain Min ordered me to give you some space, at least until you are feeling better."
You smiled, gesturing for him to sit in front of you, which he did. A moment of silence passed between you both. Your gaze lingered on his handsome features, drawing a map of him in your mind.
"I missed you."
He sighed at your whispered confession. Those words clawed at his heart with nothing but a heavy guilt that existed within him.
"My Queen... please."
You took a deep breath at his pleading, his begging. You looked aside as your heart constricted in your chest.
"Forgive me."
He looked at you with eyes full of emotions you weren't quick enough to grasp. Why must love hurt so much? Jungkook shifted his gaze from your figure, focusing on the little bundle where the prince, your son, slept peacefully.
"Congratulations on your baby. May prince Ha-joon live a long and happy life with his family."
His words weren't cruel, you should have thanked him for his blessings but it only caused you bitterness. Because Jungkook wasn't a part of that family. You had made your life without him and that realisation sank within the caves of your soul in that moment.
All those times you had dreamed, wished, pleaded and imagined your future, Jungkook was always in the picture. He always stood next to you. But fate was a cruel force. That was only a dream. Your reality was different from what you had once wished and still desired deep in your heart.
A life with him. An opportunity to love. For him. For you. To love Jungkook.
"Thank you."
Those words left your lips in a soft whisper. Afraid of speaking any louder, afraid of facing reality once more. There existed enough pain in your life, you didn't want to add salt to the wound but it kept happening. Every time you saw Jungkook you were reminded of your love for him and that distant dream of the future you once saw yourself dancing in.
Life in the palace continued. The days passed, weeks turned into months, months turned into years as the seasons changed. Time was frozen while it escaped at the same time. It made you remember, it made you forget. It made Jungkook let go, it made him yearn.
He guarded you, protected you like he had vowed to. You smiled in your solitude, dreamed in your agony.
Petal of a yielding flower.
Host of my mind.
Lover of a taken heart.
Queen of my life.
I see my universe in your eyes.
Life is not fair,
but neither is death.
For I live in a world of lies.
I own you my smiles,
my tears are yours to be held.
And when I wish my time would end,
I remember what it was to love such beauty on this earth.
My sunrise. My light. My dusk. My night.
Cradle me in your embrace.
Let me live in your heart.
Grant this wish to this poor man.
Or end my life;
for in death shall I find peace from this cruel destiny.
Jungkook sat against a tree, watching you from afar. Your baby boy just turned two years old this summer. Now it was autumn. The leaves were dying, the air was cooler but his love for you still existed in his heart.
You were with Jimin, the both of you were in the garden playing with Ha-joon. Jungkook saw you smile and laugh from where he stood. The jealousy and bitterness he once felt toward the king had melted like ice on a summer day. His soul was filled with the remnants of his feelings. A melancholy lived inside him about the "what if's" of his life, of what had happened.
Jimin had taken some time from his busy schedule to spend it with his little family. He loved seeing you smile, he was happy at that moment. Everything was perfect. Everything was like he had once imagined it to be. His son was already walking around, a bit clumsy but he was too cute to not stare at the little prince.
Ha-joon had your eyes, he had his father's lips as well. He was a really cute combination of his parents who loved the little boy too much.
You watched as Jimin lifted Ha-joon before the both of them fell into a pile of dry leaves. You chuckled, crouching down on the ground after having been running around the place. You panted with a soft smile on your face, printing the image in front of you into your mind forever.
Your husband picked up the little boy in his arms before walking back to where you were. He offered you his hand and you took it as you stood up from the ground.
"Are you fairing, My Queen?"
He asked, a bit of concern behind his words. You nodded, brushing your skirt with delicate movements.
"Yes, I'm just tired of running all around the garden."
Jimin chuckled, looking down at Ha-joon who clung to his neck, also tired after playing for some time now.
"Let's get back then."
His hand grabbed yours as he began to lead you back to the small tent in the garden where a table with fruits and tea rested. It was near a large tree where Jungkook stood writing his poems with words carried by the wind. He saw how the king began to approach and put down his papers and brush before standing up.
He bowed when you and Jimin entered the tent. Your husband handed Ha-joon to one of the damsels with care and soft delicacy.
"Put him to sleep, he's tired."
The young woman nodded, taking the little prince from the king's hold before she left with your son in her arms. You sat down on the soft cushions with Jimin by your side, he poured you a cup of tea with elegance. Just like he had done many moons ago when he was only your fiance.
You thanked him with a soft smile, taking the cup as your fingers brushed his with the motion. Jungkook watched as you took a sip of the hot beverage, his eyes travelled down your profile, taking in how beautiful you looked at that exact moment. Not that you had ever looked ugly to his eyes, but in that precise fragment of time, you looked ethereal. Mesmerizingly beautiful. He didn't have enough words to describe your beauty at that moment.
Jimin was about to take a sip from his own cup of tea when Captain Yoongi came jogging toward the tent. He bowed down at you two before speaking, his voice laced with urgency.
"My king, may I have a quick word with you?"
Your husband sighed silently, putting his cup down on the table before standing up. He glanced down at you for a second only to then walk away with Yoongi by his side. You saw how they discussed something in the distance but you couldn't tell what it was as they were both out of earshot.
You let out a deep breath, putting your own cup next to Jimin's before you looked up at Jungkook.
"Do you want some tea, Jungkook?"
Your question brought him back to reality as he savoured the way his name sounded on your lips. It was the sweetest melody he had ever heard.
But he shook his head. Not allowed to show any emotion on his features.
"No, thank you, My Queen."
The response he gave you sounded dry and it made your heart clench with desire.
"Are you alright? You've been... distant as of lately."
He looked down at you but this time, you didn't see the storms of emotions hidden in his doe eyes. You didn't see anything. And it pained you to know that perhaps he didn't love you anymore. Because you still did. With all your heart.
"I am merely doing my job, Your Majesty."
You wanted so bad to reach up to him and hold his hand, to feel him. For him to ease your chaotic heart.
"Then don't. Please, Jungkook, do not distance yourself from me."
He sighed. It didn't matter how much distance he put between you both, if it were in words or even an ocean in the middle of you two. You always managed to pull him back.
"I have to, My Queen. Otherwise, I won't be able to resist the temptation. I could harm you. I could burn you with the flames of my love. I could destroy the life you have now. I could taint you with my carnal desires. I could do things... unforgivable things and the only wish I have in this life is for you to not be harmed. And for that to happen, I must put distance between us, even when my heart screams your name."
Your eyes filled with tears at his confession. At the revelation of his heart, his desires, his yearning for you. He still loved you, he still wanted you. He would always be yours.
"My heart is yours as well. Do not deny me the pleasure of existing next to you. Your existence is more than enough to soothe my wounded soul, Jungkook."
He bowed at you softly, eyes glazed with his own tears as emotions swirled once more in his dark orbs.
Jimin began walking back and you had to blink back the tears in your eyes. You distracted yourself with your cup of tea as he sat down next to you again.
"What happened? Captain Min looked serious while talking to you."
He smiled at you, eyes closing with the action before answering. His voice was soft and calm, like a summer breeze.
"Nothing to worry you about, Queen of my heart."
You sent him a tight smile, placing the cup on the table. Not feeling in the mood of drinking more tea.
"(y/n), you're bleeding."
Jimin said, causing Jungkook to look at you alarmed as you felt something trailing down your nose. You wiped it only to see that your fingers were painted in crimson. You wiped again and again but the blood continued to flow.
Your husband grabbed a soft handkerchief and pressed it to your nose.
"It's nothing. I probably ran too fast while playing in the garden.
But the king wasn't tranquil with your response. He felt something, as if words were whispered in his ear to not let it be unattended.
"I'll call for a physician."
Your hand grabbed his, something Jungkook didn't miss from where he stood. He watched your tangled hands with your marriage rings on your finger as you stopped your husband from getting up.
"I'm fine, Jimin. I promise. This has happened to me since I was a child. Don't worry, please."
That seemed to calm him down a bit as he settled back on his seat next to you. Holding his handkerchief below your nose as the bleeding began to stop gradually.
"Be careful, alright?"
You nodded at his words, your eyes shifted momentarily to Jungkook's wide gaze and you tried to reassure him as best as you could without a word leaving your lips.
The days were colder with the arrival of winter. Such beauty fell from the grey skies, a beauty that burns with ice.
Jungkook was reminded of your wedding day as he strolled down one of the corridors. The weather, such coldness invaded his mind, his thoughts, his heart; just like that day. When he witnessed you become the wife of another man. When he watched you lose your freedom and your life changed forever.
A feeling of melancholy suddenly invaded his heart, squeezing it with the cold claws of fate.
He took a turn, his mind lost in his own thoughts that he didn't hear the voices in the hallway. Jungkook felt how something suddenly crashed into his legs and he was quick to react and grab the hand of the little boy who was running absentmindedly. The little boy who was your son. The prince of the dynasty.
Ha-joon looked up and Jungkook saw his resemblance to you. He had your eyes. He smiled softly to the boy until Hoseok came jogging to where they stood.
"My prince, come on. Don't run away like that again."
Hoseok said, his eyes trained on the little prince who looked at him and then shifted his gaze back to Jungkook. The younger man let go of the kid's hand and Hoseok was quick to pick him up.
"He's a handful sometimes."
Jungkook chuckled, remembering those summer days when you walked in freedom through the gardens. He saw you in your son as memories swam in his hand.
"I can imagine. Kids at his age are always curious and full of energy."
Hoseok let out a soft laugh, looking at Ha-joon in his arms and also seeing the resemblance of you in him.
"Thanks, Jungkook. He suddenly ran away from me."
"It's no problem. Take care of him, Hoseok."
The older man nodded before he turned around and walked back down the corridor.
"Kook!"
The little prince exclaimed with a wide smile, his lips were plump like his father's and his cheeks puffed out cutely with the motion. Jungkook smiled and waved at the prince who waved back with his little hand before disappearing around the corner in the arms of Hoseok.
He sighed. Once more being left alone with his cold thoughts on a winter day. With frozen hopes and a blurred future.
You were in your room watching how the snowflakes fell slowly to the gardens. Your embroidery was left forgotten on your lap as your mind got lost in your memories.
A knock in your door interrupted your train of thought. You cleared your throat and straightened your posture before saying in a steady voice.
"Come in"
The door slid open and Hoseok entered with Ha-joon in his arms. You smiled at the sight of your child and your best friend set the toddler down as he ran clumsily towards you.
"Mummy!"
You hugged the little prince when he crashed into you and you couldn't help the laugh that escaped you. He was too cute to resist. He began playing with your embroidery as if it were the most interesting thing in the world, tracing his little fingers over the drawings.
"My Queen, the little prince is very eager to explore the palace. Do you want to take him to the gardens and let him play in the snow? Maybe that'd tire him out a bit so that he can sleep soundly tonight."
Your hand caressed your son's dark hair, taking in its softness before you turned your focus back to Hoseok.
"I'm tired, Hobi. I don't think I'd be able to run around in the gardens."
He nodded, eyes shifting to Ha-joon whose world now rotated around your elegant embroidery.
"Do you allow me to speak freely, Your Majesty?"
You nodded at him.
"Of course, I've told you many times that you do not need to ask for such a thing. You are my best friend."
He smiled lovingly.
"Those words are simple formalities, my Queen, but what I wanted to say was that maybe you could accompany us to the gardens. Have some fresh air. I can play with the little prince, but he misses his mother."
You smiled, looking down at Ha-joon who returned your gaze with big eyes.
"Alright then, hand me my coat please and tell one of the damsels to dress the prince warmly."
You stood under the palace roof, a heavy coat over your shoulders as you sipped on some hot tea while watching Hoseok play in the snow with little Ha-joon. A soft smile graced your lips at the sight and the sound of your little boy's giggles.
A shiver ran down your spine when a cold breeze blew your way, strands of hair flying with the wind. Hobi let himself fall on the snow with a dramatic yell, making you laugh as Ha-joon went to lay on his chest.
"Up, up."
The prince said, trying to get Hoseok to stand up and pick him up but the man layed there panting softly.
"I'm tired, my prince. Hold on."
You watched them both fondly, your eyes lowered to the tea in your cup until you felt how your heart skipped a beat.
"Kook!"
Ha-joon had said. Your hands felt cold against the warm cup, your soul froze when you looked up. There he was. Jeon Jungkook. You hadn't seen him in days. And before today there were only small peaks here and there followed by short greetings.
Jungkook turned to look at you, your eyes met his from across the garden. You felt your breath hitch in your throat at the mere sight of him. Your hands trembled around the cup, forcing you to put it away.
He bowed down at you slowly yet his eyes never left yours. Emotions invaded your body as you stood up from your chair. Hoseok noticed your actions and sat up, Ha-joon left his side and ran with his little legs where Jungkook was.
Your royal guard smiled down at your son and Hoseok stood up from the ground, walking the steps to where you stood.
"Your Majesty, are you alright? You look pale, should I walk you to your chambers?"
But you shook your head, your eyes following Jungkook's figure as he approached you with Ha-joon by his side. The little prince was telling him something that you couldn't hear and he smiled widely. Flashed him that bunny smile you loved so much and had missed just as fiercely.
Jungkook bowed down at you once he stood in front of you. Ha-joon looked up at the man next to him and mimicked his actions. Your heart clenched at the sight. Having the man you loved and your child who was your husband's son before you was too much for your heart.
It clenched inside you, it burned, it ached.
"Your Majesty."
Jungkook acknowledged you. You nodded softly at him and he rose to his full height. Ha-joon doing the same.
"Kook! Play, together."
Hoseok watched the interaction from where he stood. His own heart clenched at the sight of your hidden pain. You have always been an open book for your best friend. You had been able to hide your love from your father, even from your husband but not from Hoseok. He had known you for his entire life. He knew you, he knew the core of your heart. He knew your unspoken words. He knew.
"Only if the queen allows it, my prince."
Jungkook's eyes found yours once more. A sad smile painted his lips. Ha-joon was a clear resemblance of you but also of his father and Jungkook was reminded once more of what he had lost the day you married Jimin. Of that dream that he wished would become his reality was instead a mountain of ashes. Of burnt dreams and wishes.
You smiled tightly at the pair in front of you, not wanting to deny sweet Ha-joon of his free days and innocent happiness.
"You may play, but please be careful."
Jungkook bowed down and your little son once more mimicked him with a sweet giggle that would have made you smile had you been in another circumstance. Ha-joon's small hand curled around Jungkook's fingers as he "dragged" him further into the garden. The man clearly gives in to the desires of the child. Not without glancing your way one more time.
You took a deep breath when they were both far away from you. As if you were suddenly able to breathe when he was not near you but playing in the snow as the giggles of your prince were heard. You blinked back the tears that had gathered in your eyes, you wouldn't cry now. It was not the time for that.
"My Queen, please take a seat."
You refused Hoseok's suggestion with a shake of your head. Even if you wanted to move, you couldn't tear your gaze away from Jungkook and Ha-joon playing together.
If only fate had been different.
If only you hadn't been a princess.
If only your story was written with another ending.
Then the scene before you would have been a happy one. But Jungkook was not the father of your child and you didn't want to question your fate with Jimin. It wouldn't be fair to him when he loves you just as ardently as you love Jungkook.
Time slipped from your fingers like water from a river. Cold to the touch. Liquid to the memory. You watched them play and laugh while your heart teared apart within you.
Soft footsteps were heard from your left but you didn't shift your gaze from your giggling little prince.
"My Queen,"
The voice of one of your damsels spoke and you didn't have to look at her to know she was bowing down at you.
"His Majesty requests your presence in the Main Hall."
You took a deep breath, the cold air of winter burned your lungs with the motion but despite the action, you still felt as if you were being suffocated.
"Queen (y/n)."
Your eyes met the worried gazed of Hoseok as uncertainty painted his dark orbs.
"It's alright, take care of Ha-joon for me."
Hoseok bowed down at you as you straightened up your posture and looked at Ha-joon and Jungkook for a moment before you forced yourself to walk away. You weren't aware of the concerned look your best friend gave you nor the longing gaze Jungkook sent your way.
He watched you walk away and despite all the times he had witnessed the same sight, his heart still clenched upon seeing you leaving him behind.
You didn't look back. You couldn't. Your heart wouldn't be able to take it. Each step you took forward hurt like an arrow piercing your heart over and over again. You closed your eyes, taking in the pain in your chest.
Fate gave you the cruellest gift you had ever received. A glimpse of your dream life only to be shattered by reality like ice against a wall. It hurt. Your hands trembled even when you clasped them in front of you to keep them warm. It was useless.
You lived in an eternal winter. Your heart was frozen, your soul had crumbled to a pile of white snow tainted with the ashes of your dreams. It was fair. But life has never been fair to you. To anyone, actually.
But you weren't a victim here. Not anymore. If fate didn't want you and Jungkook together, you'd fight in each and every lifetime to meet with him again and complete your story next to him. You owned it to him, to his love, his devotion. His innocent heart that carried the purest love within him.
Tears clouded your vision and a lump grew in your throat. You weren't a victim, but that didn't mean you couldn't cry about your misfortunes.
The tears began rolling down your cheeks, feeling how your heart ached for a man who would never be yours and a future you couldn't live.
You had to cover your mouth to quiet the sobs that threatened to spill from your lips. For it had been too much for your soul to endure. You had gotten to your breaking point, the point of no-return. It hurt. The mere thought of Jungkook was enough to make your heart clench in your chest.
You took a deep breath, tried to calm yourself as you walked down the large corridors. Your hands wiped your cheeks but the lump in your throat stayed, the pain in your chest didn't fade. Almost as if it had found its home within you.
You were about to meet your husband in the main hall of the royal palace. You couldn't be seen crying and less for another man you yearned so fiercely for. You were the Queen. Mother of the Crown Prince. Wife to the King of Gyeongdong. Daughter of the dynasty.
You had to be strong.
You could cry in private later. But not now. It wasn't your place to do so. A Queen doesn't cry. A Queen is strong. A Queen fights. You sighed, taking strength from your own aching heart to continue walking, to face your reality. To live in this written fate.
Even when your mind was elsewhere, even when your hands trembled and your feet itched to turn back and run into the arms of your lover. Even when your chest didn't stop hurting, you held on. Just like every other time before.
You just held on.
The king sat on his throne, the ministers had just left the large room after their council and he had a deep desire to see his wife. Jimin let out a sigh, his mind going back in the seasons, remembering. Going back in time in his mind.
He remembered your wedding day, he remembered the cool autumn day when he saw you for the first time. He had heard the princess was beautiful but no words were enough to describe your beauty in front of him.
The sound of your voice was forever engraved in his memories, your smile was sweeter than any candy in the world. He had fallen in love with you. He loved you, all of you. There was nothing in this world he wanted more than to spend his life with you. His queen. The mother of his child. The owner of his heart.
Maybe he loved too quickly. Maybe he trusted too soon. But he didn't regret it. Jimin was happy. He was living the life that was planned for him since birth yet he was happy with the fate painted before him. He wanted it. He craved it.
"You're wearing it."
Jimin's voice brought you out of your thoughts. Looking up at him with a confused look, he elaborated while a chuckle escaped his lips.
"The hairpin. You are wearing it. I'm glad you like it."
You nodded at him with a small smile.
"It's really beautiful."
You weren't going to lie about that. It was truly one of the best jewellery pieces you'd ever seen. The Prince's cheeks tinted a soft shade of pink, a shy smile over his lips. He stopped out of a sudden and you halted in your steps. Looking up at him with curiosity, Jimin grabbed one of your hands between his and said while his eyes were glued to your joined hands.
"I'll speak without formalities for once as this is something I need you to know not as a Prince but as your fiancé."
You nodded and he continued.
"(y/n)..."
Your name in his lips was sweet, said with such delicacy and devotion. A sweetness similar to your favourite fruit.
"... I'm so glad it is you who I am going to marry. After we get married and the coronation ceremony is completed, I want you to know that you will always be my equal as the Queen of Gyeongdong. I know we were arranged but I sincerely hope we can grow something from this.
You will always be treated fairly, I promise. And I'm so lucky to have such a beautiful fianceé."
You couldn't help the smile that graced your lips. It was a grateful smile. You knew he wouldn't force you to do anything, he would always respect you and give you your place. The Prince of the Park family was a good man with a noble soul; a gentleman who was going to become a great ruler.
"Thank you, Jimin. I really appreciate that."
He smiled. His eyes closed with the action and you couldn't help but think it was cute. He had a pretty smile, you had to admit that.
The memory flashed in front of his eyes in a second. You still wore that hairpin he had given you. You liked it, he had watched you admire it and it fueled his pride as your husband.
“What are you all doing standing here? Don´t you know she could get sick with this?”
Growled the prince at a nearby royal guard who cowered at the imposing tone of the man. Jimin was seen among the palace staff as a sweet and loving personality who was made to receive and give love in each of his lifetimes. That’s why the guard felt suddenly so intimidated as the prince had never acted nor spoken in such a way.
“We are aware, Your Royal Highness. But the Princess ordered us to not interfere. She said she'll kneel until the counsellor's son is safe. There was no way of persuading her!”
Jimin cursed under his breath as his feet carried him towards you. He didn’t care about the rain, about the stares of the maids and staff, he didn’t care about anything else other than you.
You were kneeling on the cold stone floor. The palace was in front of you in all its glory but you could only care about your best friend. Why was life so complicated? When has your life tangled itself up with these kinds of problems?
Why did summer end so suddenly?
Your tears rolled down your cheeks, mixing with the pouring rain that fell from the greying skies. A chilly breeze made a shiver run up your spine but you weren’t going to leave. You weren’t going to surrender that easily so you stood firmly, ignoring the pain in your knees, ignoring the coldness in your skin. Ignoring the sadness in your heart and not minding the tears that escaped your eyes.
But suddenly, you didn’t feel the rain any longer. The chilly air didn’t attack your back any more and you had to look up to find the source of such a blessing only to be met by the profile of the Prince of the Park family, he was looking forward not seeming to mind the cold rain that was quick to drench him. His right arm extended his outer robe over you, keeping the rain from cooling you any further.
He looked down, feeling your gaze on him only to be met with your drenched figure. Your eyes were red and puffy, filled with tears. And he felt his heart clench at the sight of your pain. If he was able to take it away he would do it in a heartbeat. You didn’t deserve such a burden. Such pain.
And he made a silent promise to himself that once you both got married, he would move mountains for him to see you smile.
You deserved it, after all.
Everyone deserves happiness. Even you, the beautiful Princess everyone thought had it all but in the end, you were just lonely. Broken by the mends of society.
Jimin took a deep breath, memories of you began to flash in front of his eyes like raindrops. Unstoppable. He felt a sudden need to see you, be with you, hear your voice. So he stood up from his throne and walked out of the main hall in hopes of meeting you in one of the main corridors.
Urgency carried his steps, feeling a darkness enclose his heart in cold ice of desperation. He needed to see you. Jimin didn't know why such urgency had taken control of him but he couldn't fight it. He walked and rounded a corner, seeing you standing on the other end.
He smiled.
A window was behind you, the white gardens stood in the background as he took in the image of you. You just stood there, not even looking at him but lost in your mind. At least that was what he saw, he began to approach you.
He saw you frown and he halted in his steps for a second. But that second dictated his fate once more as he submerged in a cold river, surrounded by water of fear that froze his bones.
Your hand went up to your chest as you pressed onto it. You gasped, feeling how your heart ached within you. But this time it was worse, worse than the subtle pain you felt there every time your thoughts drifted to Jungkook and that lost future living in the land of dreams. This pain was different.
Your hand clutched the silk of your dress as you took a step forward, your other hand grabbing a table resting against the wall with a vase on it to try and find your balance once more.
You heard footsteps from your right and you turned only to see Jimin walking down to where you stood with worry on his face. Tears gathered in your eyes due to the pain.
"Jimin..."
He could barely hear his whispered name leave your lips before he saw you take a step towards him but you tumbled, hitting the table and making the vase fall and crash against the wooden floor as you collapsed before him.
He rushed to you in panic as fear wrapped around his heart. Jimin cradled you in his arms as he checked for a pulse, tears gathered in his eyes at the sight of you but he couldn't help but sigh upon noticing you were still alive.
"My darling... (y/n), open your eyes. Please..."
Yoongi was rounding the corner when he gasped at the image in front of him. He was quick to approach the desperate king with fast steps.
"Your Majesty, what happened? Is she alright?"
Jimin didn't turn to look at the slightly older man, one of his hands caressed your face delicately, as if you were a soft summer flower.
"I don't know, call the physician. I'll take her to my quarters."
Your husband felt his heart clench at the sight of you so vulnerable and weak in his hold. Captain Min bowed down at the king before he stood up and ran in the opposite direction.
Jimin picked you up in his arms, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes as he held you tightly against him. The scene he had just witnessed was something he'd never forget, for it had been horrible to see you in what he could guess was pain. He hated to see you like that and now, as you were being cradled in his embrace, a fire burned within him.
Flames of fear combined with fuel of anger at your state. He pressed an almost harsh kiss against your temple, murmuring in your hair words only meant for you to hear.
"Hold on, My Queen. You'll be alright. I promise."
Jimin laid next to you, supporting your body in his strong hold. The royal physician was examining you. He could feel his heart squeezing in his chest. Worry fueled his soul and fear set it aflame.
Time tickled by slowly, everything was moving too slow. Everything felt too hollow. Everything was colourless. The royal physician held her breath as she took your pulse. The room stilled. No-one dared to move, let alone breathe.
She let out a sigh and retrieved her touch from your soft skin. Jimin looked up in anxiety. Waiting, expecting, needing to know what the elderly woman had to say.
"What is it? Is she alright? Speak, woman!"
She didn't flinch at the king's desperate tone as she kept her gaze low while clasping her hands in her lap.
"Your Majesty... it's a heart disease. I think the Queen has always had it but since her rather difficult birth... it came alive, so to speak."
Jimin didn't know what to say, his soul ached at the sight of you in his arms as endless possibilities came rushing to his mind like lightning during a storm.
"Can you cure her?"
He already knew the answer to that question. A hand of his came to caress your cheek softly while tears gathered in his brown eyes that gazed lovingly down at you. He knew the answer to his own question yet your husband held onto that last sliver of hope his soul refused to let go.
"I can give her something for the pain, My King."
Was the physician's answer. Her voice delicate, words being carefully selected.
"Yes, but can you cure her?"
Her eyes met the intense gaze of the king as he turned to look at the woman dressed in a blue hanbok. A tear escaped his eye as it rolled down his cheek slowly while his heart was beating wildly in his ribcage.
"I'm sorry, Your Majesty."
If someone had stabbed him with a thousand arrows Jimin was sure would have hurt less than those four words that left the woman's lips. He cradled you against him, pressing your limp form to him as if he could prevent the horrid fate that awaited you from taking you from his side.
"Leave. I want to be alone."
The royal physician stood up and bowed down at the broken man along with the maids and guards in the room at the whispered command of their king.
The door slid shut and silence drowned the room. He was left alone with you but this wasn't a joyous moment. Jimin lied you down on the bedding beneath you as tears rolled down his cheeks. His hand held yours with a delicate touch as his eyes roamed over your figure.
"You cannot leave me, (y/n). You can't. You belong here, with me, with Ha-joon. You cannot leave me alone."
But those words didn't reach your ears. You didn't hear his begging, his pleading. And he only held you tighter. Wishing that this was just a sick nightmare of his.
"Please... Queen of my heart. Do not leave us behind."
One of Jimin's hands fisted the soft fabric of your dress, needing to ground his thoughts, to be in the present and stop his mind from picturing all the horrible scenarios in his head.
"Do not abandon me in a world without you by my side."
Fate was cruel. Jimin loved you but now you were going to be robbed from him. He didn't know when, he didn't know how much time he had left with you, he didn't know how much pain you'd have to endure. He didn't know he'd have so little time next to you and that fact pained him beyond words.
"I need you, Queen of mine. I love you."
Words weren't enough to change fate. He knew it. He knew everything yet he still tried. He pleaded to the heavens to not take you, to not rob you in such a cruel way.
"I love you, (y/n)."
But love wasn't enough to save you from death. Love wasn't strong enough to keep you next to your husband. To watch your son grow into a fine prince that would rule the kingdom one day. Love wasn't enough. It had never been.
Jimin knew that but he still cried. He still pleaded, he still hoped.
Snow fell wildly outside, the wind could be heard when you opened your eyes and found yourself in Jimin's room, rather than your own. You had been resting in his bedroom for some days now, not really sure how many.
Hoseok was by your side the next second as he helped you sit up, he didn't speak a word and your heart shook within you at the sight of your distressed friend. You watched as he prepared your medicine, silence fell into the room as the candles flickered in the middle of the night.
"Please take your medicine, My Queen."
He spoke, holding the spook with the tonic you had been taking for so long, it seemed.
"Don't make me take it again, Hobi. It's too sour."
He sighed, eyes lowering onto his lap but still holding out the spoon to you.
"Please, Your Majesty. It'll help you get better."
You took a deep breath as you leaned forward and opened your mouth, taking the medicine like your friend wanted you too. Even when you shut your eyes shut and scrunched your nose at the taste, you managed to swallow it.
"I won't get better, Hobi. You know it too."
You weren't a stranger to your disease, Jimin told you himself about your predicament. You remember how your heart broke at the sight of his distress, his eyes were red and puffy, shining with new tears that he refused to let go. His hands shook as they held yours.
Hoseok sighed and the soft noise brought you out of your thoughts. He put the spoon and bottle aside as his eyes locked with your own and you were able to see the sorrow in his usually cheerful gaze.
"I know. I'm sorry, My Queen."
Your hand rested atop his as a soft yet sad smile was painted over your lips.
"Don't apologise. Don't be sad. Don't cry. Why don't you bring me some fish-shaped pastries and you tell me what Ha-joon did today?"
He nodded with a smile that didn't reach his eyes before standing up without saying a word. Hoseok walked down the corridors back to the king's chamber where you were resting with a round container in his hands where the pastries rested. He couldn't help but let his mind wander back to those summer days when you were still a princess and your worries revolved around what silk to choose for your next dress.
He wanted to go back to those golden days when the sun shone brightly and warmth filled the palace.
"Princess!"
You turned around at the sound of the voice of one of your closest people in the palace. The royal counsellor's son and a dear friend of yours, Jung Hoseok.
When he arrived next to you a smile was painted over his lips, he bowed down at you making you frown a bit.
"Stop it, I've told you many times before that you don't have to bow in front of me."
He chuckled, his hands behind his back as he straightened back up.
"Yes, I have. There are so many guards and court ladies that could see and that wouldn't be good for me, princess."
You sighed at his answer. He had said it time and time again but you just wanted to have a normal friendship, was that too much to ask? Maybe it was. At least for now.
"I'm sorry, you are right. I wouldn't want you to get in trouble because of me."
Hoseok smiled and that made a small smile paint over your own lips. That was a power only he had, he would smile and it would make you smile too.
"It's alright, I can be sneaky when I want. Especially to the kitchen. They never knew when I was there."
That made you let out a snort before laughing completely. Forgetting about proper manners or who could be watching you at that moment, you just lived that fragment of time. Enjoy it how it should be enjoyed.
"Speaking of..."
He continued, bringing his hands in front of him only for you to notice the small package covered with white fabric. You smiled widely at him.
"...I managed to sneak out some fish-shaped pastries."
You let out a squeal while Hoseok unwrapped the package and opened the lid for you to see he had bought your favourite dessert.
"Thank you, Hobi! I've been craving this since last week!"
With that, you took one and immediately began eating it, savouring the sweet flavour inside your mouth as you closed your eyes for a moment.
"Why didn't you just order for the maids to bring some pastries to your room, your highness?"
You sighed, swallowing the sweet treat only for then to say, your joyous face turning slightly sombre when the bubble of happiness was suddenly popped with reality.
"I am not allowed to eat anything like this, at least not until my wedding day. King's orders."
Hoseok's eyes widened in surprise at your words. Panic flared through his features as he came to the sudden realisation that he was disobeying the king's direct order. He looked around frantically, searching for people nearby that had witnessed him giving you the pastries while you continued to munch on another bite of the sweet treat.
The next thing he did, however, made your eyes widen as the remainder of the fish-shaped sweet was taken from your hand rather abruptly only for Hoseok to throw it in his mouth at the end. It all happened too fast you were left staring at your best with a dumbfounded face.
"Yah! Why did you d-"
You cut your sentence when you spotted one of the court ladies followed by a group of maids appearing in your peripheral vision. You quickly straightened your back while Hoseok hid the package he was holding behind his back, swallowing the remains of the pastry he took from your hands.
The court lady bowed when she stood in front of you, the other maids mirroring her actions. When she stood back up, she said, her voice cold and her attitude as strict as always.
"My Lady, His Majesty; The King, has requested your presence at the main hall."
You curtsided softly, a soft smile on your face.
"Thank you, I shall go there immediately."
And with that, you turned around and began walking along the large gardens with Hobi following you at a proper distance. When you rounded a corner and were out of the court lady's sight, you sighed. Hoseok caught up to you and you smiled at him.
"Thanks, Hobi."
Those whispered words made him smile, he looked back before saying.
"I should probably go back, I'll see you later, princess."
You nodded at him with a soft smile over your beautiful features and he bowed slightly at you only for then to fast-walk to the opposite direction from where you stood. You were left alone again and took a deep breath before you continued on your way to the throne room where your presence was requested.
The memory flashed in front of his eyes in an instant. His heart filled with melancholy at the lost memory in the past before he slid open the bedroom door and found you asleep on the bedding.
Hoseok sighed, putting the pastries aside as he went to blow away some of the candles to let you sleep peacefully.
If only he could take away your pain, your disease, he would. For he remembered how you saved him from death when he was falsely accused of treason, he remembered your desperation. Hoseok was your best and only friend in the palace and he only wished he could repay the favour of saving his life with now saving your own, even if he knew that was not possible.
"The Queen hasn't left the King's chambers for a while."
"I wonder if she's alright."
"I've seen the royal physician go in and out a couple of times."
Jungkook had heard this and more rumours around the palace. He wasn't going to lie, he was worried about you. He hasn't seen you since that day when he was playing with the little prince in the white gardens.
Maybe she's pregnant again.
That was his main thought and final conclusion. Not wanting to ponder on the idea that much to save himself the heartache. He entered the guard's palace, going straight to his room. Dusk had already settled and the night was cold.
"Yah! Jungkook! Do you know what happened to Her Majesty?"
He stopped in his tracks and turned around, seeing a bunch of younger guards eating some ramen in the corner of the common hall.
"What do you mean?"
He asked. A frown adorning his handsome features. One of the guards stood up from the small table and walked over to Jungkook.
"Do you know why the Queen has not been seen around anymore? Rumours said she is pregnant again."
Jungkook looked past him at the bundle of men gathered in silence to listen to what he had to say.
"Why would I know? I've been taking care of His Highness as of lately."
The man in front of him scoffed, looking back at his peers before glancing back at Jungkook.
"Aren't you the Queen's royal guard? Shouldn't you be with her at all times?"
Jungkook sighed, feeling his patience leave his body quickly. He turned around, waving a hand to the man who wished to pester him with his questions.
"I don't have time for this."
"Why? Are you the prince's babysitter now?"
Jungkook closed his eyes, wanting to disappear from that exact second.
"What's going on here?"
Captain Min's voice boomed around the common room, making everyone go silent, even the men who were only watching and snickering in the corners.
"Nothing, Captain."
"Nothing."
Jungkook and the man in front of him answered at the same time. Yoongi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Go back to your table, Kwon. Jeon, come with me."
The latter nodded, sending a final glare to the man whose surname was now to his knowledge. Yoongi dragged Jungkook to another room with more privacy. He turned around, eyes softening at the sight of his friend.
"What is it?"
Yoongi's question was delicate, a soft tone only certain people had heard of the stoic man.
"I haven't seen her in days, Yoongi. I don't know what is going on and it's killing me on the inside."
The older man let out a sigh, pondering if he should tell Jungkook about your condition or if that information would only stress him further.
"You know, don't you?"
Yoongi looked up only to meet Jungkook's big and sad eyes.
"Yes. But I do not know if you should be aware of her situation or if it will cause you more harm."
Jungkook's heart constricted in his chest with those words. A part of him didn't want to know. He didn't want to risk the heartache, so many possibilities swarmed his head that it made him dizzy.
"Tell me. Please."
He whispered and Yoongi sighed once more. He knew of Jungkook's innocent yet strong feelings for you and he'd hate to break his precious heart but his wish was his right.
"She's sick, Jungkook. The physician examined her a couple of days ago and she said the Queen was born with a weak heart and her long labour worsened her condition. She said there was no cure."
A tear escaped his eye slowly, his heart ached deep within him at the information. You were sick? If you had had it since birth, why weren't you more careful? But all those thoughts did nothing to alleviate his pain.
"I'm sorry, Kook."
Said Yoongi with a heavy voice. In sympathy for his friend for he knew this kind of pain. He was no stranger to heartache. He understood.
"Would you like me to stay or do you want to be alone?"
"I want to be alone, hyung."
His response was empty. Colourless. Cold. Yoongi nodded without saying another word. He quietly walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.
Jungkook closed his eyes as silent tears rolled down his cheeks. He took it all in. The pain. The heartache. The distress. The despair. He welcomed it all and allowed himself to cry in his solitude as snow fell from the sky on a cold winter night with no apparent morning sun to warm his soul.
A couple of days later you were still in Jimin's room. Hoseok was playing with Ha-joon as you watched them fondly. You didn't have the energy to stand anymore. The disease was deteriorating you, killing you. A part of you believed it was due to the heartache you had gone through that now you were being punished with a heart disease.
How ironic, isn't it?"
Ha-joon laughed, distracting you from your sombre thoughts. You looked at your son, watching as he laughed and enjoyed his time. The little prince hadn't seen you for weeks since you fell sick and he missed you immensely.
"My prince, come here."
You spoke, opening your arms for the little boy. His eyes lit up as he left his toys on the ground and ran towards you. The impact of his little body against yours was enough to leave you breathless.
Hoseok watched as you embraced your son with pain, as if he were to leave and you didn't want to let go.
"I love you so much, you know that, right?"
Ha-joon nodded in your chest before he gazed up at you with a cute smile. You smiled as well, trying to blink the tears that began to moisture your eyes.
"You'll be a worthy Crown Prince one day and the most respected king of Gyeongdong when you grow up. I love you so much, my little prince."
"Mummy..."
Ha-joon put his little hand on your cheeks, lovingly gazing into your eyes as your heart broke into a million pieces realising you weren't going to see him grow and become a great man. Your time in this place was slipping through your fingers like water in your hands.
"I love you too, mummy."
You hugged Ha-joon as your eyes met with Hoseok's sad gaze. He offered you a smile and you did your best to return the gesture, even when your heart was aching, from the disease or from your own pain you couldn't tell anymore.
It had always been a similar pain.
Always there, always cold. Always present in your life.
That night was cold. Hoseok had taken Ha-joon to his own room and verified he was sleeping before returning to tend to you. Jimin hadn't arrived yet as he was busy tending to some ministers and political matters you were no longer aware of.
"The prince fell asleep quickly, Your Majesty. I left Eun-ah to watch him during the night."
You nodded with a smile. Feeling your eyes drop with tiredness. You were already settled for the night, ready to close your eyes and sleep even when your exhaustion wouldn't leave your body.
"Thank you, Hobi. You should go and rest too, you look tired."
For he did. His skin was paler than usual and bags rested under his eyes. You could see it and it pained you to see your best friend so tired and sad all the time.
But he shook his head, a melancholic feeling swam in his warm eyes as he looked at you.
"I would like to wait until His Majesty is with you, My Queen. I do not wish for you to be alone."
Your hand rested over his and he turned to look at you meeting your eyes filled with tears.
"Hobi... what would I do without you?"
He only smiled, not saying a word. Not wanting to break the soft moment so you continued.
"Thank you for being my friend all these years. Thank you for always being by my side and for giving me your friendship."
A tear left his eye and rolled down his honeyed skin at your words. Realising that this was your goodbye to him.
"Please take care of Ha-joon for me. He is really fond of you, Hobi."
He nodded, feeling how his emotions choked him. It pained him to even think of you leaving his side. You, his best friend. His only companion, his princess since childhood.
"I promise, sweet Queen of mine."
You smiled at his whispered promise, squeezing his hand softly. The door slipped open and entered your husband. Hoseok let go of your hand as he stood up in a swift movement. He bowed down at the king before he left the bedroom in silence.
"How are you feeling, Queen of my heart?"
Jimin asked as he knelt in front of you. You smiled. Feeling how your heart ached in the cage that was your body.
"I'm fine, my King."
He knew you were lying. He knew your words weren't true to your reality. He knew it all. He knew you. But he chose to not mind your lies for he didn't know how much time he'd be gifted by your side. He smiled, allowing his hand to cradle the side of your face as he looked at you with pure adoration in his dark eyes.
"Say it. Let me hear my name on your lips. Grant me that wish, grant me that honour."
You swallowed, knowing how much your condition was killing your sweet husband from the inside.
"King of my existence. My Jimin. My sweet husband."
He smiled sadly. His hand left your cheek and took your hand instead, feeling how you gripped weakly onto it.
"I love you, (y/n)."
You could only smile fondly at his declaration of love. His eyes twinkled at your reaction.
"Do you also share my sentiment?"
He asked almost shyly, looking down at his hand that covered yours.
"Of course. How couldn't I?"
Jimin's eyes met yours as he smiled. His gesture was priceless for your words of affirmation was the only thing he cherished to hear, the only melody he wished to always remember and a verse of a poem that would never end.
"Didn't you have an important meeting with some ministers?"
Your voice broke the silence that hung in the room. You sat facing a large mirror, staring at your own reflection while Jimin was behind you brushing your hair with a golden comb. Your back rested against his chest, your hair rested over your shoulder as he brushed it with delicacy.
"I have more important things to attend to right now. Do not bother yourself with such thoughts, Queen of my heart."
You blushed softly at his words, looking down at your hands resting on your lap. It wasn't snowing outside but the room was cold, shivers ran through your body from time to time despite the closeness of your husband and the many blankets around you two.
"Jimin, can you promise me something?"
He didn't allow the frown that threatened to appear between his brows mark his soft features. He nodded, eyes searching your own through the mirror despite you having your gaze down.
"I'd give you the moon and stars in a golden tray if they were mine to possess in the first place."
You smiled softly, hating to break his heart with your next words. Hating your own fate and feeling your heart constrict within you at the mere thought of his pain the next moment you were to speak.
“Please don’t lose your smile after I’m gone.”
His eyes lost their spark. The softness in his features disappeared like a burning flame splashed with the water of reality. Your hand grabbed his and at his silence, you continued.
“Tell Ha-joon that his mother loved him so much.”
Tears gathered in your husband’s eyes, his mind realising this was your goodbye to him but his heart refused to believe his time with you was this short. He didn’t accept that he’d have to let go this sudden.
“And live every day as if it's your last.”
The crystalline pearls of sadness rolled down his cheeks, his hands squeezed yours as his eyes locked with your own.
“I’ll find you in my next lifetime, Queen of my heart.”
Jimin brought your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against your skin. As if wanting to seal his love with that small gesture.
“Thank you, Jimin. For your love and your respect. Don’t lose your spark, don’t cry those precious tears and allow your heart to heal if I broke it without wanting to. Forgive me.”
He sobbed, not wanting to let go of your hand as if that could prevent you from leaving his side. The sound of his sobs and cries shattered your heart and tears of your own began leaking down your cheeks in silence while you witnessed him mourn your fate.
"There's nothing to forgive. I could never be mad at you, not even if you were to kill me with your own hands."
His hands pressed you against him. Needing to feel you close to him. Needing this moment, this memory to be engraved in mis mind and soul so that he could seek solace in it when his heart cried in the darkness.
You closed your eyes, leaning back against your husband who cried his heart out, whose world was going to be taken away from him. You mourned his sadness while your heart broke at the thought of leaving your little family behind. Leaving your life, your love in a cruel world.
The apple of my eyes.
Woman of my heart.
Enchantress of love.
Mistress of my soul.
The days are longer.
I miss you. I need you.
My love gets stronger.
I cry over my solitude.
Did we ever have a chance?
Do I deserve the happiness you bring to this world?
Am I worthy of your hand?
Am I enough to a jewel like you?
Do I deserve your devotion?
Is it cruel of me to want you?
Ever so fiercely. So fully.
My darling. My Queen. My lover. My everything.
Live in my heart forever.
Stick in my mind to eternity.
Don't leave this man to suffer with your absence.
Don't leave me to burn in my own ashes.
A sudden knock on his door made Jungkook break out of his trance, he put the brush down and stood up as the door slid open and he was met with Hoseok. His eyes were casted down, not meeting the soft gaze of the royal guard.
“Jungkook, the Queen requests your presence in His Majesty’s chambers.”
The younger man’s heart sped up at the thought of seeing you. He hadn’t been able to even get a glimpse of you since that day in the gardens. His soul was desperate to see you, his heart screamed at him to go and search for you. It was torture, to separate two lovers, that is.
Jungkook nodded, not missing the way Hoseok’s demeanour was different. He looked sad, worried. Cold. He wished he could ask him what was wrong but feared he’d be overstepping a line with the slightly older male who was a dear friend of yours.
"Thank you, I'll go there immediately."
Hoseok nodded with a soft movement before he stepped out of the room. Jungkook sighed, arranging his papers correctly before heading out the door.
His feet carried him along the large and cold corridors of the palace. His heart was in his throat as nerves bubbled in his stomach.
Jungkook was a brave soldier. He has fought many battles as scars adorned his body. He has been on the verge of death several times before but ironically, right now was when he felt more nervous than when he was holding a sword in his hand.
He took a deep breath, standing in front of the King's chambers. He hesitated for a second, not knowing what he'd hear from your lips at the other side of that door. He didn't know how he would react after not having seen you in so many days he has already lost count of.
He knocked only to hear your command for him to come in. Your voice was soft, weak even. But that didn't matter when butterflies erupted in his stomach at the mere sweet sound of your voice.
Jungkook entered the room the next second, he slid the door closed behind him while he kept his eyes trained on the dark wood below his feet.
"Jungkook."
His name coming from your lips was the sweetest melody he has ever heard. He had missed it. He had missed you. His eyes locked with yours and he nearly gasped at the sight of you laying on the soft bedding, your skin was paler than usual, your eyes were tired and your body was beyond weakened.
"Your Majesty."
He acknowledged you. Bowing softly at you without tearing his gaze from you. He saw you shift in your position, laying on your left side so you could see him properly. You smiled and in an instant his dark world was lightened by your existence.
"Come closer, Jungkook. Come here."
Your hand extended towards him as if trying to reach him. He couldn't hold himself back any longer upon your innocent request as his legs moved with a mind of their own. Nearly jumping until he was kneeling by your side, his hand holding yours ever so softly.
“I heard… I heard that you are sick, my Queen. Is it true?”
Jungkook asked almost shyly. Not meeting your eyes as his own gaze was fixed on your joined hands.
“It is.”
He sighed at your response. Feeling how his heart clenched within him. Tears watered his dark eyes and a lump grew in your throat at the sight of his sadness.
“Don’t cry, Jungkook. Don’t waste your tears over me.”
He looked up at you, his expression hurt with your words. A frown was between his brows, eyes watered with his materialised sadness and a soul that he could no longer carry on his own.
“How can you say that to me? I am dying with you, my Queen. Only you are capable of causing me the greatest pain yet it is you who eradicates it as well.”
You squeezed his hand, feeling your chest aching. Your mind was shutting down as you gazed at the man you loved with your entire being.
“Forgive me.”
He shook his head, refusing to let his tears roll down his cheeks as his eyes roamed over your face as if trying to memorise all your little details in his mind.
“It is I who should beg for forgiveness. I cannot protect you from this, I have failed you. I cannot prevent you from leaving me.”
A tear left the corner of your eye as you looked at him with so many unsaid things and raging emotions you were never able to pour out. It was too much. Too much love. Too much longing. Too much sadness. Too much anger. Your heart couldn’t take it any more.
“Maybe you can’t make me stay, but you gave me the opportunity of knowing what it was to love. Even when we couldn’t be together in the end, I still love you. I will always love you, Jungkook. In each… in each lifetime.”
Both of his hands squeezed your own, feeling your grip on them weaken by the second. What kind of punishment is this? To love you so fiercely, so wholeheartedly only to be snatched from him like this? What did he do in his past life to deserve such pain, such misfortune, such punishment?
Is love a crime?
“You still wear it, huh?”
He asked, sniffling softly while his eyes locked with the small red braided bracelet he had given you that autumn day. When life was kinder. When it wasn’t as cold as winter. When he still held hope for happiness. When life was simpler...
“I never took it off.”
You whispered, smiling up at him as your eyes traced his features.
“I love you, Jungkook.”
Tears rolled down his cheeks, not being able to stop them any longer. He smiled through his tears, needing to say the words back to you.
“And I love you, (y/n). I’ll love you in every lifetime, in every form, in any timeline. I will always love you.”
You chuckled softly, squeezing his hand with all the strength you had left in your body.
“You’ve said it. Thank you.”
He smiled down at you. Remembering how you once pleaded to him to speak your name, to hear it come from his lips. He could no longer deny you such pleasure. He wished he had said it that time.
“I’ll see you again. I’ll see you in my next lifetime.”
Jungkook nodded, taking a deep breath while not being able to look away from you. He wouldn’t dare to.
“I’ll find you. I promise.”
You smiled. Butterflies erupted in your stomach when he lifted your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of your hand. Your eyes closed as you relished on the feeling of his lips against your skin.
“I love you, my Queen.”
That was the last thing you heard before darkness fully enveloped you. The smile from your lips disappeared as your hand fell limp in Jungkook’s grasp. He sobbed, pressing your hand against his cheek only to feel your skin already cooling down. His other hand caressed your cheek with delicacy, his lips trembled and his tears couldn’t stop from leaving his waterline.
A pain in his chest settled forever. Dying would have been more merciful than living like this. Jungkook lived in an eternal winter. The coldness was taking everything from him. Freezing his heart, leaving his memories covered with frost. Everything was cold. Your hand, his heart, his life. Everything was cold. That was the only thing he could feel. Only the coldness of his reality was covered in a deep and thick layer of white snow; the colour of sorrow. The colour of nothing.
All in an eternal winter of pain with no spring in sight. His hopes died with you, he had died with you. Only his heart was still beating. But death had claimed him as well, cursed him with the coldness of sorrow and a lost love for eternity.
The funeral was held three days later. Ministers and people from the village were all mourning their Queen. They all dressed in white robes, standing in the large palace gardens as they knelt on the cold ground.
The king walked in the middle of the golden path with Ha-joon by his side. His small hand in his own as the both of them walked toward where your casket was. Some of the people were crying, others were praying as they all shared the king’s sorrow.
Hoseok, Yoongi, Jungkook and your father were guarding your casket, waiting for your husband to arrive and complete the ceremony. Their hearts were heavy, the skies were grey as little snowflakes fell down from the thick clouds.
Ha-joon ran to where Hoseok stood, burning his face in his robes as he began to cry silently. Jimin’s heart clenched at the sight of his son mourning the death of his mother. He placed a red rose in between your hands, accommodating your red bracelet on your wrist. He had seen you wear it everyday so it should stay with you in your final resting place. He turned to look at the people, his face cold, missing your warmth next to him. He could no longer cry, his tears were gone only leaving a deep hole in his heart.
“Let’s give the Queen the goodbye she deserves.”
Jimin spoke to his people who all rose to their feet. Yoongi and Jungkook along with two more guards began carrying your casket made of crystal with golden details down the palace entrance. A tear rolled down Jungkook’s cheek when he spotted the bracelet he made for you still attached to your wrist.
The king was walking in front of them while Hoseok walked with Ha-joon behind them. The slightly older man was crying silently while holding your son’s hand in his.
“I miss mummy.”
Jungkook closed his eyes at the prince’s words. Hoseok sighed and picked the child up in his arms, hugging him to his chest while continuing to walk down the frozen path.
“We all do, my prince. We all do.”
That night, Jimin found solace in the darkness of his room. He sighed at the empty feeling of the place he once shared with you. Ha-joon was sleeping in his bedding, neither of them wanting to be alone after your passing. A lone tear left his eyes, rolling down his cheek slowly.
He looked to where Ha-joon was sleeping soundly and let out a deep sigh. Jimin knew facing this new reality was going to be tough for him as a husband who lost his wife and for Ha-joon who lost his mother while the kingdom lost their Queen.
He felt his heart freeze with the remnants of your love. No other woman would ever be in your place while he lived. No other woman would ever sit next to him in the throne and Ha-joon won’t call another woman “mother”. He couldn’t betray you like that. He couldn’t discard his love for you that easily.
Winter settled in his heart, frost covered his heart and memories. There were no more summer days and spring was never going to arrive in Jimin. For he was also cursed by the coldness of sorrow forever.
The moon rose high in the sky that night, being the only source of light for Jungkook as he left the palace grounds in silence. He didn’t look back. He couldn’t. He was going to leave that place of golden memories for they were now shattered in fragments of ice. You were no longer there to warm his days in the palace. You were no longer there to smile at him from a distance. Your absence killed him. Froze him.
His footsteps got covered by the snow falling from the skies, his silhouette was soon lost to the eye as he walked among the snow and the darkness of the night.
I’ll find you, I promise.
His own words resonated in his mind. With each step he took, he felt how another layer of ice covered his heart. No other woman would ever enter his heart for he was sealing it with the chains of his sorrow.
No-one ever saw Jungkook after that night. Some people said he went to a little village to live between his solitude and his poems. Others said he married a woman with great semblance to the late Queen. Others said he died, either by his own hand or by a heart disease.
No-one exactly knew what happened to First Officer Jeon Jungkook after the Queen’s funeral. Not even Yoongi, who found his friend’s room empty the next morning. Everything was placed neatly and only a single sheet of paper laid on his wooden desk with a poem written on it.
Yoongi folded the paper and put it in his pocket, feeling loneliness creep up into his heart at Jungkook’s leaving. Yet his friend’s heartache was stronger, he had to leave and Yoongi understood. He knew he’d never see Jungkook again so he could only wish him luck in whatever he may venture in next. His love poem was kept in his possession for all his life. Reading it from time to time and feeling Jungkook’s pain through the only thing he left behind, his words. His heart poured out on a sheet of paper.
You have poisoned me with your love.
Like a drug.
An addiction only you can control.
And now you are gone, taking my life with your own.
I am dead in ever sense of the word,
yet my heart still beats inside me.
What kind of punishment is this?
I prefer a thousand times to die by your hand than to live a life without you by my side.
You exist now only in my memories.
My most precious treasure.
My love will be known through centuries;
because meeting you was my biggest pleasure.
Queen of mine,
wait for me in your next life.
Maybe you had left this world
but you still live in my heart.
Forever shall I remember you,
may this letter be a proof of my devotion to you.
Sultana of my mind.
Owner of my heart.
Lover of mine.
October/28/2023
~Masterpost
**I do NOT give my consent for this or any of my works to be posted or translated into any other platforms or languages.
Pairing: royal guard!Jungkook x princess!Reader, prince!Jimin x princess!Reader (ft. Yoongi & Hoseok)
Summary: In which you, princess of the Gyeongdong Dynasty, were in the middle of wedding plans. An arranged marriage that would guarantee your father's bloodline to stay on the throne.
Or in which you are assigned a new royal guard that swore to protect you with his life. Jeon Jungkook. That's his name. A name you could never forget. A name that, slowly but surely got engraved not only on your memories but also in your heart.
Love, politics, betrayal and desire. All in ancient history. A love that never should have happened, two souls that wouldn't be allowed to be together.
Warnings: angst, fluff, implied smut, pregnancy, descriptions of delivery, pregnancy complications, arranged marriage, blood, character death, heartache, yearning, forbidden love, more angst, Jimin is a sweetheart, heartbreak, fainting, heart disease, Jungkook writes poetry, funeral, mentions of reincarnation, ANGST (WARNINGS APPLY TO BOTH PARTS!) (Let me know if I missed anything!)
Word Count: 14, 286k words
A/N Hi, darlings! It's been so long since I posted Autumn for you guys and I am so terribly sorry for the months wait. I really hope you will like this third part of "Four Seasons"!
I've been working on this for months now but lately I've found new inspiration to finally finish this and trust me, it will be a total roller coaster! Thank you so much to the people who commented on the other two parts as they all gave me such motivation to return to this story!
A/N I had to divide Winter into two parts because apparently Tumblr doesn't like to have too much paragraphs in one post! The two parts of this long chapter are linked on the masterpost of this series! Please let me know what you thought of this part, I really hope you will like it and it leaves you yearning for more! Without entertaining you further, happy reading, everyone!
💜 Boraghae ARMY 💜
~Taglist for Four Season: @valhallawhispers @lovingkoalaface @seokout @ackercute @jksusawife
It is said that time cures the pain. That it freezes the sorrow and paralyses the soul. Yet Jungkook couldn't agree with that statement. If only, the arrival of winter had made his pain bigger. Just as his love. He was sure that his heart would explode someday with the amount of love he held for the Crown Princess of Gyeongdong. For you.
The wedding day was approaching fast. Your life was changing too quickly too soon and you weren't sure you could grasp your new life so easily.
Snowflakes fell slowly from the greying skies. The cold air whistled past you, the thick robe you wore kept you warm yet you couldn't help the shiver that travelled up your spine at the sudden wind.
"Are you cold, princess?"
Asked Jimin, who stood next to you. You shook your head with a smile on your face. He was so caring towards you.
"I'm faring just fine. Aren't you cold?"
He shook his head and you winked at him before you focused once more on the target a couple of feet away from you. Raising the bow with an arrow attached to it, you aimed at the target and shot the arrow.
It travelled through the air with a soft sound before it landed at the centre of the target and you lowered the bow.
"You are really good at this. How did you learn to aim so perfectly?"
You sent a smile to your fiancé and answered while giving the bow to one of the palace servants, already done with your practice.
"I used to have a personal teacher so I learnt the basics and later on my personal royal guard, Jungkook, gave me a couple of tips in one of my practices."
Jimin walked next to you, his hands clasped behind his back. He walked you everyday after your practices and lessons back to your room. It was in those moments when the two of you got to spend some time alone together, getting to know each other before the wedding would take place.
"Is Officer Jeon to your liking?"
You nearly gasped at your fiance's question but you caught yourself on time. You had to think smart about your answer. Although Jimin was a sweet guy, you had come to learn he could be a little possessive too. If he felt threatened by Jungkook, you feared he might dismiss him from his duty to protect you.
"He has done his job perfectly up until now. He has also been of good company to me. It gets lonely sometimes here, you know?"
He hummed in acknowledgement. Looking down at you for a brief second before he returned his gaze back to the front.
"Then he can continue with his duties after we get married. He is important to you, isn't he?"
You looked at Jimin. Blinking back tears for his generosity. A gift that meant more to you than life itself. He was able to see the gratitude in your eyes as you gazed up at him.
"Thank you, Jimin."
You didn't answer his question. But that didn't cross his mind at that moment. The Crown Prince found himself getting lost in your eyes.
This was probably the last encounter you both would have before the wedding as it was tradition that the groom didn't see his bride for three days until the ceremony. You could tell he didn't like that idea with how he seemed slightly more tense than he usually was.
You didn't want to bring up the subject, didn't want to make him uncomfortable so you sent him a smile. A gesture he returned before the both of you travelled across the palace gardens painted in white in a comfortable silence.
As you walked next to Jimin, your heart yearned for the presence of another man. You felt so guilty for not giving your fiancé the love he deserved but you couldn't help your heart, your thoughts were swimming with Jungkook and only Jungkook.
Even when your wedding day was three days close, you couldn't stop thinking about the man that owned your heart.
"Get inside, Princess. It's cold here."
The Crown Prince spoke beside you. His sweet voice, quite like a summer breeze, brought you out of your mind. If only for a moment, you left your thoughts about your lover behind.
You smiled up at Jimin, his eyes held a deep emotion you couldn't quite describe. It was astonishing. He held so much admiration for you, perhaps even love and it all reflected in his brown eyes as deep as the sea itself.
"I will. Thank you."
He smirked, taking a step towards you that made your stomach twist with nerves. Your eyes were wide while expecting his next move. A gasp left your lips when you felt his hand enclosing yours. His thumb moved over your knuckles in slow circles and tingles erupted in your skin.
"I will not see you until our wedding, Princess, but just know that you will live in my thoughts until my eyes are graced with the image of you again."
A subtle blush painted over your cheeks, was it because of his words or the cold air outside? You couldn't tell. But you squeezed his hand as an answer.
"I shall see you in three days, Your Royal Highness."
He smiled, that sweet smile that made his eyes close. Cute. You thought but that thought vanished from your head the moment he leaned forward, his eyes stared at your lips for a split second but he didn't kiss you, he wasn't going to do it that way. The least that Jimin wanted was to tarnish your name in such a rushed moment.
He leaned towards your ear, his words were whispered as only you were meant to hear them.
"Call me Jimin. At least when we are alone. I love the sound of my name on your lips."
The prince leaned back, now towering a bit above you.
"I'll see you in three days, Jimin."
He gave you a priceless smile. No amount of money or luxuries would have been able to buy that innocent smile from his plump lips.
"See you in three days, (y/n)."
You couldn't describe the feeling of hearing your name spoken so casually. It was intimate. A moment between you both engraved in the stars. Rarely has your name been said without formalities. The times you had been spoken to were always with your title in the middle. A constant reminder of your status. Of your place in society.
You were to inherit a whole kingdom and that was a lot to carry on your shoulders yet when Jimin said your name without titles or formalities, you felt free. Even for just a second. It only existed the two of you in the middle of the frozen gardens.
Your hand that was still clasped in his before it was lifted up to his lips. Jimin placed a soft kiss on your knuckles before a sweet smile, again, adorned his lips.
That was the last time you saw him before the wedding. He walked away and you entered your bedroom, sliding the door shut as a sigh escaped your lips.
You were getting married.
Maybe Jimin wasn't the owner of your heart.
Maybe you didn't love him as he deserved.
Maybe your heart was already taken.
But he was a good man. A gentleman. A born king to Gyeongdong. A man who loved you. He respected you. He honoured you.
You put those thoughts aside, not wanting to dwell on them so much before you walked to the other side of the room where your private garden rested covered in white snow.
Sliding the double door open, cold air met your face and there you spotted him. Jungkook. He rested against the leafless tree that if you were in spring, pink petals would decorate the enormous tree as well as the ground below it.
You couldn't help but smile at him. He hadn't seen you yet, his doe eyes were glued to a book in his hands. He was waiting for you. He waited to make sure you got to your quarters on time and safely. He wasn't allowed to walk behind you like before, at least not while you were with Jimin. King's orders.
"Aren't you cold?"
That voice he enjoyed so much reached his ears, making him look up at you. He smiled. Shutting the book as his arm rested next to him. Your feet crunched the snow below as you made your way towards him.
"Not really, princess. I kept myself busy."
You smiled. Looking up at him as your hands clasped themselves in front of you.
"Aren't you cold, Your Highness?"
His voiced concern made your heart flutter. You feared he could hear just how fast your heart was beating inside your chest.
"No, I just came from taking a walk with the Crown Prince."
Jungkook kept his gaze on you yet you were aware how something flashed in his eyes at the mention of your future husband. It was there in those dark orbs you loved to get yourself lost into, a second in which he let his emotions take control over him. Where he was vulnerable to your watchful eyes.
But it was gone as you blinked. He gave you no time to question whatever you had seen in his gaze as he asked you next.
"Are you ready for your wedding day?"
The atmosphere turned sombre. As if clouds had hidden the sun of a summer day during tea time. Soft snowflakes began falling from the darkening skies in a soft motion. Delicately even.
"You know I'm not. How could I?"
The smile that once adorned Jungkook's handsome features was now gone. A sad look covered his eyes.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that."
You took a deep breath. The little bubble of happiness and freedom he provided was now popped and you were brought to the harsh reality. You didn't say anything but you could feel his eyes on you as the both of you walked slowly through your private gardens.
The playful and innocent mood like a summer breeze had been clouded by the cold winds of winter. Of reality.
You are getting married tomorrow. Your stomach was churning every now and then with nerves. With fear of the unknown territory you were forced to step into. Your hands were sweating despite the coldness in your room. The thick robes that dressed you did little to keep you away from the coldness to seep into your bones.
You had been waiting for Jungkook all day. You had sent a hidden message to him where you asked him if he could come to your gardens that evening. You wanted to tell him something. A thought that hadn't left your mind for the last two days.
You were ready to ask him the most ridiculous thing in the world. The most dangerous thing he'd ever do. A part of you just wished he'd accept.
Snow was falling from the sky, dancing in front of you with such delicacy it allowed you to pass the time as you stood in your garden, leaned against the naked tree. A thick robe with white fur at the sleeves kept your body from the cold. Or at least it was supposed to.
A deft sound reached your ears, snow crunching over shoes. A choked breath. You looked at your right, past the tree and toward the furthest wall that kept your garden private only to spot him standing up from a crouching position. Jungkook.
Your Jungkook.
You couldn't help but smile at the sight of him as he walked towards you. He was dressed in equally heavy clothing. A long cape draped over his shoulders, trailing behind him as he walked over the snow-covered ground to get to where you stood.
"You came."
You breathed out. Not really believing he was standing there, in front of you when you were literally getting married tomorrow.
"You called."
Jungkook answered. A fond smile was painted over his pink lips. His eyes twinkled with happiness upon seeing you. His hand reached forward in an unconscious manner. But he paused his motion before his palm graced your cheeks with his loving touch.
He lowered his arm and cleared his throat. Speaking once more to break the silence that fell between you two.
"I will not ask how you managed to send that note to me, Princess."
You let out a short laugh, blessing his ears with such pure sound. A melody his heart cherished more than life itself.
"I have my ways, Officer Jeon."
He snorted at that, his frame relaxing in your presence as he leaned his side to the tree. His eyes never leaving your own.
"Can't you call me by my name, Jungkook? Just once?"
Your plea made his eyes harden. You asked for the impossible but you desired more than oxygen to hear your name in his voice. That sweet voice that lived in your mind rent-free. That would console you in your memories when you were sad and would bring a smile upon your face in the most random times of the day.
"I cannot, Your Highness. It is against His Majesty's order to address you improperly."
You frowned.
"Even if I am asking you that?"
He sighed. A hand running though his dark hair. How you wish you could run your own hands through his locks. You could bet on your life they were as soft as cotton.
"I can't, princess. I'm sorry."
Silence stretched between you both. Somehow, the air felt colder, breathing got more challenging upon your rejected request.
"Why did you want to see me? Did you miss me that much?"
Jungkook said, trying to lighten the mood. A playful smirk over his lips. You looked up at him, your eyes as transparent as the lake's water; revealing your soul.
"I don't know if you'll want to speak to me after I say what's been on my mind for the last two days."
He lifted an eyebrow at your response. Curiosity got the best of him as he took a step away from the tree, now standing fully in front of you. The soft snow continues to dance around you.
"It can't be that bad, now can it? Just tell me, Princess."
You took a deep breath, your pulse quickening. This was it. The opportunity to speak your mind. To reveal your most intimate desire to him.
"I don't want to get married, Jungkook. I don't want to marry the Crown Prince. Jimin is worthy of the throne but... I don't love him."
He remained silent. His eyes turned from playful to serious the moment you mentioned your marriage. And he listened. He listened with all his attention to each word that left your lips.
"I can't marry a man I don't love. I want... I want to be with you. It is you who I want to marry, to spend the rest of my time with. Only you can make me happy, Jungkook and it breaks my heart every time I am reminded you won't be at the other end of the altar tomorrow."
Tears began to cloud your vision. But you tried to blink them back. This was what you had been trying to say to him. Yet your most desired thing in the word was still to get revealed.
"I want to leave, I want to leave this place, Kookie. I don't want to be a princess if it means I cannot be yours entirely. I burn for you, in every extent of the word. I cannot breathe when you are not near, I cannot think when I cannot see you close to me. You are everything to me."
A lump began forming in his throat. He felt exactly the same. Jungkook was glad you spoke of this first, you revealed your soul to him, your thoughts, your heart. You needed him. You lived with him, for him. It'd be a pointless life if you couldn't share it with him, he saw that now.
But the surprise when he heard you next couldn't be hidden even if he had wished to do so.
"I want to run away with you, Jungkook. "
He gasped as he tried to control his tears from falling. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought of that. On multiple occasions actually. But he had never dared to speak of such things out loud. But now, you had said it, you had expressed such a wish you had to be with him that his heart roared with happiness while at the same time constricted with pain.
"You can't. I can never do that to you, Princess."
Tears began to roll down your cheeks. You could no longer hold them. You could no longer pretend. Your heart broke with his response. Yet you knew, you knew it was ridiculous to even think about it yet it still hurt. It hurt so much you began to feel a physical pain in your chest. As if someone was crushing your heart with their hands.
"I'm so sorry."
Jungkook said. A choked apology painted with his own sadness. He could only whisper the words. He was hurting inside too because he wished to take you away from the palace. He wished to make you his wife. He wished to spend the rest of his life by your side.
But that was it. They were only wishes. And he knew that. Perhaps he had to remind you this time that whatever the two of you had couldn't go further. It was destined to be like this.
"It is now what is best for you, Princess. Believe me."
His words carried the heaviness of his soul and you had to bite your bottom lip to suppress a sob. Jungkook had just killed the last spark you had to be happy. You didn't blame him though. You couldn't.
"How can you know what is best for me? I am dying everyday when I am not with you!"
The desperation in your voice made his own tears roll down his pale cheeks.
"Don't say that, please don't say that. I know I can never be compared to him, I could never give you what he can or protect you the way he can. But even in this twisted game, I need you to know that I love you with all my being, soul and heart."
His heart clenched when those words left his lips yet he knew he had to say them, say them and let you go.
"Then why are you hurting me like this? Why can't we leave this place together and be happy for once in our lives?"
Your tears rolled down your cheeks like endless rivers of pain. It was too much, too much to take in, too much to accept. He sighed, hating the way he was making you feel, hating the circumstances you both were in.
"Because I love you too much to cage you with me. You have to live as the princess of Gyeongdong, our future queen and I am forced to live like your royal guard. Nothing less, nothing more."
He turned around, feeling how each of your cries were like arrows being fired to his heart, no physical wound could ever be compared to this emotional pain he was feeling. However, he knew it was necessary.
"But I love you, Jungkook! I could never love him the way I love you."
He turned around, a sad smile over his lips as his own big eyes were moisturised with the salty water of sadness. You had declared your love for him in a last attempt to convince him. To let him know how much you wanted him, needed him.
"I'm glad I can hold that part of your heart, princess. Perhaps... in another lifetime we'll be able to be together."
You sniffled, hating the title he used to refer to you. If you weren't a princess, if you weren't the future queen of Gyeongdong, then you would have been his for a long time now. But fate was cruel and now, you both were left with a wounded heart as it bled with the remains of your love.
"Yes, and I will always be waiting for you. In each life until we meet again."
You whispered, unable to raise your voice a bit more. Jungkook looked at your broken figure, you were trying so hard to keep your tears at bay, to not break down in front of him unaware of the pain he was feeling himself.
"I'm sorry."
He said, taking a step back. He had to leave, otherwise he knew he would accept your suggestion, he would run away with you and selfishly make you live a life you didn't deserve while also being in the constant fear of being found.
You didn't deserve that.
He didn't deserve that.
Hence, even Jimin, the Crown Prince, didn't deserve to be left at the altar tomorrow.
It was fate. Destiny. A cruel fate, yes. But fate nonetheless. And there was nothing he could do to change it.
"I'm sorry too, Jungkook. So so sorry."
Silent tears rolled down his cheeks and dripped off his chin, landing on the soft snow at his feet.
"Love knows no chains, Princess."
Jungkook took another step back, and then another and another. He had to leave. He couldn't console you, he couldn't stay, he couldn't take you away, he couldn't make you his.
Without another word, he climbed up the wall and jumped off, he landed on the opposite garden. He leaned against the wall, closing his eyes and letting his pain go in the way of his tears, crystallising into beautiful pearls of sadness.
The moment Jungkook was gone from your garden, you fell down on your knees. The skirts of your dress and coat puffed out at the motion but you could only cry. You let the sobs leave your throat as a hand clutched your chest where you felt as if someone had pierced your heart with an invisible dagger and twisted it with every sob that left you.
"But I love you, Jungkook."
You said between sobs. Crying your pain out. Lamenting the cruel fate you were forced to live. The snowflakes danced around you, the sky crying for your damned fate. Unaware that Jungkook had heard the noise of your suffering.
His own heart clenching with your words said in the midst of dark pain.
When night fell over Gyeongdong that night, Jungkook couldn't sleep. His mind kept replaying the conversation he had with you in your private gardens. His heart ached when he remembered the crystalline tears that rolled down your cheeks.
He didn't deserve those tears.
He didn't deserve your time. Your devotion. Your love.
You were a princess, future Queen of a powerful kingdom and he was only him. Jeon Jungkook. A royal guard that was tasked to protect you. If only he had known his feelings would bring you such pain he would have kept silent.
If only he knew you would one day, desire with all your heart to escape with him and leave your luxurious life behind in a closed chapter, he would have never spoken to you that summer day in the boat. Those days that seemed to be centuries apart.
But was it fair for him to desire you as much as you did?
Was he sinning for wanting you?
He knew you were far from his reach yet he still fell for your charm. You were about to be trapped in a one-sided love, an arranged marriage you didn't want but he knew, if he dared to take you away, he would only be able to give you a life full of fear. Always expecting to be found.
And as he had thought before, you didn't deserve that. Fate was cruel in making you both lovers. The love that bloomed between you two was forbidden. A love that never should have happened. A cursed love.
Jungkook turned on his side while he laid in his bedding. His doe eyes reflected the stars sparkling in the sky. The cool air kissed his skin as it entered his room through the opened window.
His heart ached. His soul missed you. His hands itched with the need of touching you. But even when he was drowning in his own sadness, he couldn't cry.
Not anymore.
His tears were gone. And Jungkook knew his life was going to be submerged in an eternal winter, living in days without tears.
You stood behind the double closed doors of the throne hall. Your heart pounding in your chest. It was today. Your wedding day. You were getting married to a lovely man that would respect you and love you until his last breath but you didn't love him.
Jungkook had made it clear yesterday that he loved you, yes of course he did. But perhaps his love wasn't strong enough to rescue you from the fate you were forced to live.
You took a deep breath, the doors opened and you began to walk down the path covered in petals. The ministers and nobles in the room stood up in your presence but you didn't care. Your eyes were focused on the steps you took.
Don't trip, don't trip, don't trip...
"We welcome today the Crown Prince and Crown Princess as they are to be united by marriage, sharing the throne as one."
You lifted your eyes, meeting the ones of your fiance. His sweet gaze made a soft smile appear on your face. You weren't going to ruin his wedding day. Jimin was happy, you'll try to be too.
"His Majesty, sixth king of the Gyeongdong dynasty gives the crown to his daughter, Crown Princess Lee (y/n) and her fiance Crown Prince Park Jimin. May the ceremony commence."
The eunuch announced. Jungkook watched you from afar. He watched as Jimin held your hands and promised to be your rightful husband as well as an honourable ruler to the kingdom.
He watched as your eyes were trained on the man that was to become your husband. How he wished it was him in place of the prince. How he wished this was all different.
His fists clenched beside him, lip drawn in between his teeth as he watched you become another man's woman. But then again, were you his to begin with?
"You are glaring."
Yoongi's voice came in a whisper to his right. But Jungkook couldn't care if he was glaring or not. He found he had already lived through a similar situation but before his thoughts got further into his memories, Yoongi said once more as a sigh escaped his lips. He kept his voice low.
"You love her, don't you?"
The younger man turned to look at his superior. His eyes ghosted with salty tears. Yoongi put a hand over Jungkook's shoulder as his eyes looked forward to where you and Jimin stood in front of the throne. The words of the king drowning down as he said once more.
"You don't have to say anything, Jungkook. I've known for a while now."
"Why didn't you say something?"
Asked your royal guard, feeling how his heart constricted; of sadness or stress he could no longer tell.
"I'm not sure. Something kept me quiet."
The ceremony continued, no more words were exchanged between the two men. A part of Jungkook's heart felt lighter that his secret was not only his to carry anymore. Yoongi was more than his Captain, he was a friend. A close friend at that. Making the weight of his silenced love less heavy over his soul.
You stood in front of Jimin. Both of your hands were held by his own in front of you. There was a soft smile over his plump lips. A happy smile. You were finally becoming his wife. He held immense pride in calling you his bride but now, you were to become his forever and the young prince couldn't be happier.
All because he loved you.
Wholeheartedly.
Entirely.
Purely.
In a way as innocent as love itself. As crystal clear like a summer drizzle drenching the palace gardens. As transparent as his own intentions when it came to love. To you.
You felt all the eyes of the ministers and nobles on you. A part of you was used to the attention and now you had to prepare yourself for the attention that was going to fall over you as the Queen. It was your destiny. This was the reason why you were born. To marry and give your husband an heir.
That was your purpose in life.
That was what you had been taught since a young age.
But despite that sense of duty engraved in your mind, your heart only yearned for one thing. A thing you were never going to have. At least not in this lifetime.
Even when you felt observed by many important people, only his gaze burned you. You could only feel Jungkook's eyes on you. Only he was able to penetrate the walls society had built around you.
Only he was able to see you.
"Today, I step from the throne. Today, a new generation will arise in the horizon for Gyeongdong's greatness. Today, we welcome His Majesty Park Jimin, King of Gyeongdong and his wife, Her Majesty Lee (y/n), Queen of Gyeongdong."
Your father voiced out and stepped aside. There was a proud smile over his face. He had accomplished his mission to find you the better suitor to carry his bloodline and produce an heir. A prince to the dynasty.
Your attention focused on Jimin, he was smiling widely at you and you smiled too. The best you could do.
"My Queen."
He let go of one of your hands, the both of you facing the ministers and nobles as they bowed down at the two of you, their foreheads touching the ground under their feet as they chanted over and over again.
"Long live the king and queen of Gyeongdong!"
"Long live the king and queen of Gyeongdong!"
"Long live the king and queen of Gyeongdong!"
Over and over were those words repeated. They resonated through the palace walls, in your head. Engraved in your memories. You were the Queen. The place your mother once occupied next to your father.
Your eyes drifted to where Jungkook kneeled to you and your new husband. His eyes were glued to you, a sad gleam reflected in his doe eyes. Your heart clenched. Your own eyes watered.
That was the moment when you truly realised you both were from different worlds. He would have never been able to stand where Jimin stood right now. Nor would you ever be able to be his.
Fate was cruel. It created soulmates that were forbidden to love. A heartbroken couple. Lovers who were never meant to love.
Were you cursed?
Destined to live in a one-sided marriage while your heart belonged to another man?
It looked like it. All your life would be spent with your heart beating for Jungkook. Your mind was plagued by his memories, his existence. His reflection in your soul.
You and Jimin began walking forward, through the middle of the throne room. Your hand was clasped tightly in his. You could practically feel Jimin's happiness radiating from him that you couldn’t fight the small smile that painted over your own lips covered in red lipstick.
The double doors opened and you were greeted by the villagers shouting in happiness, welcoming their new king and queen as they were all granted access to the royal entrance while you were inside, making a promise that broke your heart to a man that loved you as ardently as you loved another one.
Cheers from the villagers were heard, some of them were clapping, others were chanting things you could barely make out in the midst of the crowd. But they were happy. They genuinely were.
You only wished you could fulfil your duty accordingly and not disappoint the beautiful people of your kingdom. It was, after all, a heavy weight over your shoulders you had been carrying since the day you can remember.
Jungkook watched you from where he was, having already stood up from his crouching position. He watched from the back, your hand tightly grasped in your husband's hold. The people cheered for you both and he was happy. Or at least a part of him was.
This was where you belonged. This was the world you were born into. This was your destiny.
"I will always be waiting for you. In each life until we meet again."
The words you said to him yesterday resonated in his mind. Perhaps he wasn't able to have you in this lifetime, but he'd be damned to hell if he didn't search for you in the next one and the next one and the next one until you could stand by his side and proudly claim yourself as his.
"In another lifetime, princess."
His muttered words got carried by the cold wind that entered the palace, words only meant for you to hear. Taken by the wind, delivered to fate. It was as it was. And as he watched you from afar, Jungkook realised that had been his place all along. Far from you and your world of royalty.
Away from your heart.
That night you were sitting in the middle of a fine bedshift. Red blankets of fine silk rested below you, keeping your body away from the harsh coldness of the wooden floor.
Small candles illuminated the room. Farols made of red paper painted the bedroom crimson. Your clothes were the same, your body hugged in an expensive red dress as a veil of translucent fabric tainted in the same colour as your clothes covered your face.
You were able to see through the veil, golden earrings hung from your lobs and a jade double ring rested on your finger. Your wedding ring.
The jewellery that claimed you as the property of a man. Of the former king of Gyeongdong. Of Jimin.
You were dressed for your husband. Dressed for your wedding night. You weren’t entirely sure what was going to happen once he’d arrive at the bedroom. You were only told that you would have to consummate the marriage. What was beyond those words was out of your knowledge but you couldn’t help but feel nervous nonetheless.
Everything changed in a course of hours. Your mind was still getting used to the idea of being married. Your life had changed so much that day. Your heart ached in your chest at the thought of your lover. Jungkook. How you wished you could see him. If only from afar would suffice but you wanted to be held by him, you wanted his whispered declarations of love for them to be for your ears only.
You wanted him.
You needed him.
But he was out of your reach. He was your denied and forbidden wish. Your clandestine love.
Your thoughts were broken when the door slid open. Eyes snapping toward the looming figure at the entrance. It was your husband. He was dressed in red robes, just like you.
When his eyes fell upon you, he could immediately notice the tension in your body and the air was sour with your nerves. But as gentle as he had always been he approached you. His steps were delicate, silent. As if he were walking on cotton.
Jimin knelt in front of you and grasped your hands in his. The contact made his skin burn, with desire, love, happiness, lust. He burned for you. And it was something he couldn't explain if he was asked about it.
"Only when we are alone will I dare to call you by your name, My Queen."
You swallowed. Noticing how committed he was to the marriage. You could only watch him, not daring to speak a word afraid the innocent moment would break and you'd go back to reality.
"(y/n), dearest (y/n). I cannot describe just how happy you have made me. I could care less about the title now resting over my shoulders but I am the luckiest man alive to have you as my wife. Queen of my heart."
Despite your heart being owned by another man that wasn't your husband, you couldn't help the beat it skipped with his sweet words. He was always sweet, always careful, always mindful. Always perfect.
His hands let go of yours only for later to lift the veil covering your face. Jimin smiled. The realisation dawned on him that you were his wife by name and title, now he was going to make you his in the most sacred and beautiful way that existed.
"We must... we need to consummate the marriage, Queen of mine. I know you may not feel ready for this, but believe me when I tell you it is the best way for me to protect you and your new position."
You knew he was right. You knew he spoke the truth, he'd always will. A lie would never live in his heart, let alone be spoken by his lips.
Always perfect.
You had to become his wife in all the extent of the word, not because he wanted to but because you needed it. It would be the only sense of protection he could give you as his wife in this twisted game of hearts and politics.
You knew he was right. But the heartache stayed. That intimate piece of yourself was going to be taken by the sweetest man alive that was your husband, but he wasn't the man you loved.
"I understand."
Your gaze lowered. Heat rose to your cheeks at the thought of the act. You were inexperienced, you were innocent in the ways of the world. To carnality. To desire. To lust.
Jimin's hand found home under your chin, lifting your gaze back to lock with his own. His honeyed voice reached your ears in sincere words and soft promises.
"I will be careful, I promise. Let me love you, (y/n). Let me protect you. Allow me to become your husband not only by name. Love with me."
There was uncertainty in his voice. He was letting you choose to bond with him. He displayed it like that, at least.
"We must bond tonight, but any other time it will be your choice. Always your choice. I will not force you to do anything you do not want but right now, we must do it. Please."
That pleading, that squeeze of his hand over your own, that begging look he gave you. If your heart was in a different position you would have already said yes. Allowed Jimin to take you, to love you as a man loves his wife.
But you ached at the thought of Jungkook. The man you loved so passionately. You realised he could never be in Jimin's position, he would never ask you to surrender yourself to him in such a way. He loved you too much to ever lay a finger on you like that. He respected you.
He knew his place between your heart and your duties to the kingdom.
You swallowed the lump in your throat that began to form the longer you thought about it. Blinking back the tears that threatened to moisture your eyes, you nodded.
Jimin's hand cradled your cheek so softly as if you were to melt before him as he leaned in to you and pressed his lips over yours. He kissed you. He kissed you in the most sweet and innocent way that ever existed.
His lips felt like feathers over your own, it was soft. Calculated but soft. Just like your husband, just like his soul. It took everything in you to kiss him back, to mould your lips to his own. To close your eyes and take in the feeling.
You had to ignore the screaming of your heart that said it was wrong. You pushed those thoughts away, replacing it with the duty you had with Gyeongdong. You were doing this willingly so that it wouldn't hurt as much as you already knew it would.
The kiss intensified, it heated and you began to feel your body react in ways you had never felt before. Jimin parted from your lips, a smile on his face.
"Let me love you, Queen of my heart. Let me claim you."
You nodded again, almost on instinct. A second barely passed before his lips were on yours again but this time, Jimin cradled the back of your head in his palm as he leaned forward, forcing your body to lay down on the red bedding below you with him on top of you.
That night was filled with fire kisses and burning touches. A night of passion. A night of pain. Darkness drowned the palace, the walls were quiet. The rooms were desolated. As if only you and Jimin existed on that night, your wedding night.
He took you, claimed you, marked you. He made you his that night. You became his wife. There was no turning back. Your marriage had been consummated under the most sacred and intimate act to ever exist. And as you lay next to your husband under the red blankets, your body pressed to his side, you couldn't help the lone tear that escaped your eye.
A tear for your lover.
A tear that was the tip of the iceberg of all your emotions and sadness pooling inside you.
A tear for your fate.
The gardens were illuminated under the moonlight, lanterns decorated the place. Snow reflected the beautiful light like sparkling diamonds scattered over the palace grounds. Thick robes covered your body, protecting it from the harsh cold.
It was late already, the moon kept rising and rising but you couldn't go to sleep. You couldn't allow yourself to dream when your own desires had been crushed by reality. So you stood there, in the middle of the gardens, in the middle of the snow with your heart in your throat.
"You will catch a cold, princess."
That voice. It makes your insides burn and your heart to skip a beat. You hadn't seen Jungkook since your wedding day. You had only caught a glimpse of him throughout the entire day.
It had already been two weeks since that day.
Your stomach twisted with the nerves of facing him, especially now that you had given yourself to another man. But you turned around nonetheless. Your yearning for him was stronger, the need for your eyes to rest over his figure, for his eyes to lock with your own. For you to witness the existence of your love.
You had to blink back tears that clung to your lashes. It was not time to cry, even if it was of sheer happiness upon seeing him. It wasn't time to cry. Not after so much yearning, not after the long hours of the day you had spent missing him. Not after you had been permanently separated from him for the rest of your life, when the little sparks of hope of being together diminished into flickering embers.
It was not time to cry.
"Hello, Jungkook."
He smiled. That sweet smile that made you smile as well. That warming touch of his soul with your own. That cute bunny smile that you desired to see each and every day of your existence.
"Hello, my Queen."
You didn't mind that he had called you "princess" instead of your new title. It would never matter as long as it was Jungkook. How you wished he'd speak your name instead. But that was perhaps asking too much of him.
There were so many things you wanted to tell him. So many questions you wanted to ask him. However, were you in the place to mind such things about him? Not as the Queen but as the woman he loved.
"I've missed you."
If your heart was squeezed a little more at that moment you were sure you were going to die from love. You smiled, a sad smile this time. His declaration does more to you than what meets the eye.
"I've missed you too."
If only you knew the storm of emotions residing under his calm facade, if only you knew the yearning in his heart to have you, if only you knew that tingling in the tips of his fingers to hold your hand; then you wouldn't have stayed quiet about the screams of your own soul.
"What are you doing outside at this hour, Jungkook?"
He untangled his hands from behind him and let them rest by his side, his eyes never leaving yours. Not knowing how his gaze alone was enough to make your heart thump wildly inside you.
"I couldn't sleep. I'll assume you are here because of the same reason."
You nodded, he took a step forward and your breath hitched in your throat. The action of inhaling was already painful as the air was cold, as cold as your neglected heart. Was he really going to take the risk of being this close to you? Another step. Perhaps he was. Then another. He certainly was.
It wasn't until he stood so close to you that you could feel his warm breath dust over your cold cheeks that you silently gasped and took a step back on instinct.
If anyone saw you both, there'd be problems. You didn't want that, not for Jungkook at least.
"And because I missed you. I had to see you. You do not only own this kingdom, you own my heart too and I couldn't live another day without seeing you, my Queen. For you are the one who rules my heart and soul."
You savoured the way his sweet words sprinkled your sour soul with sugar. It was delicious. To think that you were his, that he loved you, that he thought of you, dreamed of you. That he wanted you, perhaps even more strongly than how you wanted him.
You allowed yourself to drown in his sweet words. If only for a moment. Just a moment. A minute. A second would suffice. You didn't ask for more. You didn't want more. The only thing that you needed was his love and he gave it to you on a silver tray.
"Do you really want me that much?"
He nearly flinched at the way your voice was so soft, delicate even. Carrying emotions that were only reflected in your eyes.
"I want you with every fibre of my body and I can't stop thinking about that day. The day when you wanted to leave this place, I only want you to know that if the circumstances had been different, I would have escaped with you but taking you with me only meant death. I would rather die every day for not having you by my side than being the reason for your demise. I love you too much to do that to you."
You didn't realise you were crying until he reached his hand to wipe the tears but you took a step back. Hurt flashed in his eyes and that alone was enough for more tears to roll down your cheeks.
"You can't touch me, Jungkook. Not without the King's permission. Not even in an innocent way."
Your mumbled words reached his ears and he lowered his hand, he clenched it in a tight fist by his side but you didn't notice. Not when your eyes were glued to his own.
"And I understand why you didn't run away with me. I love you too much to get you killed. I'm so sorry I even proposed it for the first time."
His own eyes reflected the sadness in his soul in the form of tears. They glistened under the moonlight, little tears that he refused to let go; to set free.
"Do you really want me that much?"
A question you had already asked. A question he had already answered.
"Do you really want me that much, Jungkook? Even when I am another man's woman?"
He had to physically hold himself back so as to not take another step towards you. It pained him. His feet ached. His heart ached. It was painful to have you so close yet so far away at the same time yet he knew, it had been like that since those warm summer days. Since the very beginning of the forbidden love story you developed with your royal guard.
Even when I am another man's woman...
Those words would repeat themselves in his head until the end of his days. A tear rolled down Jungkook's cheek, the chilly air hitting him and making him shiver.
You weren't his. Not anymore. You had never been his. At least not in this lifetime.
"You could never be tainted for me. You are and will always be perfect to hold my heart in your hands. And in our next life you will be mine, and if not in our next one or our next one after that. "
A smile painted over your lips. A smile tainted with your tears but it was a smile nonetheless. A smile only for him to see.
"I will love you in each of the four seasons, Jungkook. In each lifetime until the world ends or my soul gets destroyed in this vast universe, even in death I will love you."
Winter had settled earlier than usual. As if the universe was frozen with sadness with the untold story of your lost lover. It was ironic even, to a point.
You had not left your bedroom in a few days, not since that night when you met Jungkook in the gardens. You didn't feel like it. It was pointless. Jimin hadn't forced you either, going every afternoon to visit you and chat with you. He always smiled at you while you did your best to be there for him.
He told you in one of his visits that your father had moved to a comfortable home near the mountains. He wanted to be away from the palace life for a bit before returning and spending his last years by your side.
But today was different. Jimin didn't have any news for you this time, instead there was worry burning in his chest as he walked down the large halls of the palace. He could hear the murmurs of the servants and maids as he passed by and they all ducked their heads, bowing at their king.
"They say the Queen has been sick in the mornings..."
"She hasn't left her room..."
"I heard Her Majesty is not taking her meals regularly..."
So many things did the king hear about you, his darling of a wife but he refused to believe in any of them. Not until he has seen it for himself.
The door to your personal quarters slid open and he stepped in. Taking in the scene of you sitting down in the middle of the place, the skirts of your dress puffing out around you. The royal physician was kneeling in front of you. He spotted Hoseok standing at a corner.
Jimin didn't mind the presence of the older man, he knew you both practically grew up together, he was a friend of yours. And a friend of yours was a friend of his.
Hoseok bowed when Jimin entered the room. Your eyes snapped to look upon your husband who stood with utter worry across his handsome and delicate features.
"Is something wrong?"
He asked. You blinked at the man who barged in with panic in his motions.
"I was called by Lord Jung to check on Her Majesty, my King. She has been feeling a bit nauseous this morning."
"Just this morning?"
You looked down and the physician gulped slightly. Tension rose in the room and you wished something would just break it as it was beginning to feel a bit suffocating.
The shuffle of fabric caught your attention, your eyes snapped forward and you saw Jimin sitting in front of you, a soft smile was painted over his lips but you could still read the worry in his dark orbs.
"Have you found out why my Queen has been feeling like that lately?"
Although the question was directed at the physician, his eyes never left yours. One of his hands grabbed your own and he gave you a reassuring squeeze as if saying that everything was going to be alright.
"I have, Your Majesty."
Jimin's attention now focused on the older man, his hand was still holding yours.
"You may speak."
The royal physician took a deep breath as he looked down at his folded hands before letting the words leave his mouth.
"Her Majesty the Queen is with child."
Nothing in the world would have been enough to describe the way the current king of Gyeongdong felt at that exact moment. There were not enough words to write about the happiness reflected all over his features.
"Are you certain?"
The physician looked up at the king, not being able to fight his own smile.
"I am positive, My King. I have never been more sure in my life. Congratulations to you both."
Jimin smiled at you and you couldn't contain the ray of happiness that illuminated your life. Tears gathered in your eyes as you looked at your husband. You were pregnant. Jimin would have an heir to his throne. This was for what you had prepared yourself your entire life and you couldn't help the satisfaction that cursed through your veins.
It has already been five weeks since your wedding day. Five weeks since you gave yourself to your husband. Five weeks since he had seen your body, since he touched you, loved you, worshipped you.
You were no stranger to the product of such marital activities but still, the nervousness that clung to your heart upon the news sinking in that you were, in fact, carrying Jimin's child couldn't be shaken. Not in the slightest.
"Thank you, My Queen."
Jimin brought your hand still clasped in his own up to his lips as he brushed them along your knuckles, giving you a tender kiss. So soft. So innocent. So happy. So full. Just like him.
You could only smile, squeezing your husband's hand in return as you cried happy tears.
If someone from the outside had seen the moment, it could only be described as ethereal. With the golden rays of that sunset drowning the room, a couple smiling to each other and a proud friend who stood behind.
Hoseok watched everything from where he stood. The scene was painted in his brain over a blank canvas of his own memories. It was perfect in and on itself. But if only your best friend had known the deep ache in your heart then his memory of the moment wouldn't be so bright.
"Congratulations, Your Majesty."
Your steps halted when you heard his voice. A big banquet was held to announce your pregnancy to the village. Your father had come to bless you himself, he even told you he'd be staying during the last trimester of the pregnancy as he didn't want to miss the moment his grandchild were to be born.
You could only smile at that thought. But a gulp in your throat upon hearing that voice dissipated the thought, like fog when the sun came out. You turned around, eyes meeting with Jungkook's dark orbs.
A soft smile graced your lips yet he noticed how it didn't reach your eyes.
"Thank you, Jungkook."
There were so many things unsaid between you both. But have words ever been enough? He could see the sadness in your soul, the remorse, the longing and the love that existed in you. How Jungkook wished to go back to those summer days where everything was perfect, where you were happy along with him. Where there existed no such barrier between you two of you being married to another man.
You could see it too, how his posture was tense, his eyes sharp with swirling storms of emotions in his dark gaze. You felt the yearning, the pain, the heartbreak from his part. And it crushed your heart even more for you knew he loved you but Jungkook couldn't step closer to you. Literally and figuratively.
He didn't know what else to say, all the courage he had managed to gather in the ceremony was gone now. Leaving him standing before you. His Queen; owner of his heart.
"I do not wish for this encounter to be like the last one, my queen. I only hope that you find the happiness you deserve for I cannot express how proud I am of you. Your child will resemble you in many ways, I am sure of it."
You wanted to run to him, hold his hand and wipe the tears that threatened to escape his eyes. But you could not. Dare not step such boundaries for his sake.
"You must find your happiness too, Jungkook. Live your life and live it right so that we can meet in our next lifetime."
He nodded, not trusting his voice to speak a syllable. Footsteps were heard down the hallway and he took a step back from you to create a more proper distance between the both of you even if it physically pained him to be apart from you.
The next second Hoseok appeared in your line of vision and with quick steps he approached you before bowing down at you.
"My Queen, His Majesty wishes for you to visit him in his quarters. Many ministers congratulated you on the magnificence of the banquet."
You nodded, straightening your posture while looking at Hoseok with a gentle gaze.
"Please regard them with my appreciation. I shall go and fulfil His Majesty's wish."
Hoseok bowed at you as well as Jungkook when you turned around and walked in the opposite direction of the two men. Feeling how your soul feels more and more desolated the more you separate yourself from Jungkook.
Hosok turned to the younger man, a subtle bow of his head to acknowledge him.
"Officer Jeon."
And with that, he turned around and walked away from the same direction he first approached you two. Jungkook was left on his own, watching as you walked away from him, is this how you felt when he left you in your garden that day? Did it hurt you as much as he was hurting him now to watch you go? Did he cause you that pain?
He sighed, feeling how his chest tightened with the mere idea of you, the memories of you floating in his mind like soft petals in a spring afternoon. Perfect. Beautiful. Mesmerising.
But it wasn't spring. It wasn't summer anymore. The coldness from the winter gripped his heart with its claws, tearing him apart with your absence, with the distance that existed between two lovers that weren't meant to be. At least not in this lifetime.
The doors slid open at your presence, you entered and guards closed the entrance way behind you. Taking a deep breath you walked further into the king's chambers.
"Your Majesty, I am here upon your wish of seeing me."
Jimin came from his adjacent bedroom with a soft smile over his plump lips. You were bowing down at him, hands clasped in front of you. He walked up to where you stood, one of his hands rested on your shoulder while the other lifted your chin, making your gaze meet his in a turbulent storm of emotions.
"Have I not told you to drop the titles when we are alone?"
He asked in an almost teasing way. You smiled softly at him, your heart warming with his softness.
"I'm sorry. Seldom are the times when we get such privacy, Jimin."
His smile widened when his name left your lips. His thump caressed your cheek in a loving way that had you been completely and madly in love with your husband, that sole action would have melted you against him.
You cared for him, you weren't going to lie about your affection toward the man you married, the father of your unborn child but it wasn't love. At least not romantic love. not like the one he held dearly for you in his heart.
"Why did you send for me?"
You asked out of sheer curiosity. Jimin leaned forward, your breath hitched in your throat as you felt his lips grace your forehead with a tender kiss.
"I missed you."
Those words reached you in a whispered way, a secret between you both.
"My days are longer when I cannot see you and my nights are restless when I don't hear your voice."
You looked up at him, losing yourself for a second in his eyes. If only you could love Jimin like he deserved to be loved perhaps your soul wouldn't weigh so much.
"(y/n) you had given me the best gift a man could ever receive."
The hand that rested on your shoulder went to touch your stomach gently, he placed his palm on it and you covered his hand with your own.
"Thank you for wanting me, Jimin."
So many things were left unsaid after that sentence, things you would never be able to tell him or you feared you'd break his heart. And he didn't deserve that because Jimin was the most caring and the gentlest soul you had ever met. He only deserved happiness.
Your hand squeezed his own while offering him a soft smile, he returned the gesture and pressed your body to his own, a hand on your back while the other cradled the back of your neck in a gentle touch. You hugged him back, living in the moment, allowing the sweetness of this fragment of time to engrave in your mind, even when the memory was a cold one you welcomed it with open arms.
For Jimin. Because he deserved happiness. Because you were his source of that feeling. Because your little family would be even bigger in a couple of months. And because you allowed yourself to experience the coldness of reality. So that when your spring arrives, you'd enjoy it to its fullest. Even if said spring came to you in your next life.
Days morphed into weeks, weeks transformed in months. The seasons changed, spring arrived then summer once more. But your soul still shuddered at the thought of your lost love. Your heart was frozen with the love you yearned for. For you it was still winter. It was still cold. It was still difficult. You lived in an eternal winter when the sun shone brightly outside and its rays warmed your skin. The snow in your sadness never left.
The sun was out, it was summer after all. It was warm, soft. Refreshing. Even if it wasn't snowing anymore, your heart lived in a storm of frozen ice. You were already showing, belly swollen with your child. The physician said it was now time to wait until the baby was born and you couldn't wait for it to happen. You wanted to meet the baby and for Jimin to hold his child in his arms.
To give your husband an heir and ensure the dynasty through the bloodline.
You walked through the gardens, the sun kissing your skin. Jimin was by your side. He managed to take a break between council meetings to spend some time with you. He was now more anxious than before, waiting; expecting the day you'd give birth to the future ruler of Gyeongdong.
Jungkook was there too. Keeping his distance from you both. Guarding you, keeping you safe. His heart was also frozen with the love he was denied to have. For the yearning his soul craved. He watched you from afar, like many other times before. He watched you walk alongside your husband, stomach round carrying the king's child.
Jealousy was no longer in his heart. He only felt a yearning, a mourning for what he once had with you. Even if it were just fleeting emotions, longing gazes and butterflies in his stomach. He knew you were the one for him. He loved you. He truly did. With all his heart but it wasn't meant to be. And as much as it pained him, he accepted it.
He embraced the poisonous arrow in his heart like the only thing he had left from you. What should have been a medicine to his misfortunes turned into poison to his heart and soul. Your love did that. Your forbidden love with your royal guard. Your own existence tainted his own core to the point where he could only watch you from afar or that arrow would clutch itself deeper in his being.
"I can't wait for this little one to come out."
Jimin said, his hands were grasped behind his back yet his warm eyes were on you. Showering you in love and adoration you were never able to reciprocate.
"Do you think it will be a boy or a girl?"
You asked out of curiosity, a playful smile over your lips. Even when your heart was wounded, bleeding with the love you were also denied to have, you learned to live your present. Perhaps it wasn't your dream life, but it wasn't bad either. Jimin loved you, and you loved him too. Not like you love Jungkook but he was so sweet, so good to you it was impossible not to love him.
He laughed at your question, the sound was an eerie melody carried by the hot wind.
"I don't know. I just want them to be healthy, Queen of my heart. And I pray that you'll be fine too on the day of our little one's arrival."
You smiled, a hand going over to your belly to caress it with a soft touch. If you had looked at your husband you would have seen the soft gaze he sent your way. It was of pure and absolute adoration.
Suddenly, racing footsteps were heard behind you. Jimin turned around first with you mirroring his action only to be met with Hoseok. He took a deep breath, bowing down to the two of you before speaking.
"My King, Minister Kang has arrived to discuss the topic of the dried lands."
Jimin nodded at Hoseok, his hand found yours as he gave a soft squeeze before he left you in the gardens. You sighed to yourself, watching as your husband walked away with your best friend by his side.
You continued to walk through the gardens, inhaling the clean air, feeling the sun rays on your skin. You bent down to smell some roses near one of the lakes, you smiled. Not really aware of the longing gaze of Jungkook over your figure.
He watched you bloom in spring and shine during summer. It was beautiful. What had he done in his past life to deserve such a gift? To be able to watch over you, protect you and admire your beauty.
Perhaps you weren't his woman, you weren't his to hold and never let go. But he was content with what he had. It was better than nothing and he treasured it so dearly.
You were the Queen of Gyeongdong but you also were the ruler of his heart. Unbreakable. Perfect. Absolutely mesmerising in your own existence. He had put into words his feelings for you, his love for you, his adoration and yearning his soul felt for your own. Not that you'd ever read those letters, it was forbidden. Everything was forbidden in this palace. A golden cage that trapped you with the chains of fate and not even his love was strong enough to break them.
You turned around, a soft smile over your lips. Your eyes locked with his own and in that moment, Jungkook had everything this life could offer him. He felt whole, because despite you not being his woman, he was yours for centuries to come.
The sun bathed you in a golden light that made you look angelical even. His heart fluttered. To his eyes, you were an angel fallen from the skies. As if you had been crafted to perfection. A beautiful spectre of what life was, the flame of love burned in your eyes and your touch held the essence of a royal.
There was a rose in your hand as you smiled at Jungkook. It was a soft smile, nearly shy, that he got to remember those summer days where life seemed perfect. Golden memories that would forever stay with him. He had your love, and that was enough. More than enough.
He watched you turn around, continuing to parade in the large palace gardens. In a way, it was a metaphorical resemblance to how you were so close yet so fat at the same time.
Admirable but untouchable.
His instincts suddenly skyrocketed when he heard you gasp, your form stood frozen in the middle of the garden. Your eyes widened as your hands came to rest on your stomach.
A sharp pain made you gasp as your knees hit the floor, your dress puffing out around you. Jungkook was by your side the next second, concern was written all over his face while worry filled his eyes.
"Your Majesty, what's wrong? Please, talk to me."
You took a deep breath between your gasps and whimpers. Your hand grabbed his in your pain-induced mind, trying to ground yourself onto something, someone.
"I-It hurts... Jungkook, it h-hurts."
Your water broke the next second but you felt as if there was something wrong, this was not how a natural birth was supposed to start.
"Please... something's wrong. It- it hurts so much."
Tears gathered in your eyes as you tried to suppress the scream that threatened to escape your throat. You felt him let go of your hand, positioning his arms beneath your kneeling figure only to be lifted by him the next second.
Your arms circled his neck in instinct as you curled yourself in his hold. Jungkook began walking back to the palace at a fast pace, the weight of your body grounded his mind while at the same time numbed his senses. If you hadn't been in so much pain at that moment you would have noticed how his hands were trembling.
"Hold on, my Queen. You'll be fine, I'm here. It's alright."
He cradled you against his chest firmly, not wanting to let you go ever again now that you were in his arms. His heart feared for your safety, you were only eight months pregnant by now, he knew the risks of pregnancy and Jungkook knew he wouldn't be able to live if something were to happen to you.
Tears soaked his robes, your hand fisted his collar. Your small whimpers were like poisonous needles piercing his heart. It hurt. It pained him to see you in so much distress.
"Hold on, love. Please."
You tried to concentrate on the feeling of his body against your own, the smell that covered his clothes and the strength beneath his hold. Anything to take your mind away from the pain. Even for a second. Jungkook was running by now, going through the many hallways in the large palace, cursing in his mind how big it was.
"Please... make it stop. Please-"
Your words got cut off with a blood-curdling scream resonating through the walls of the palace. That scream made Jungkook's eyes water. He never wished to see you in so much pain, if he could take it all for you he'd do it, in less than a heartbeat.
The loud sound alerted some of the maids and also Hoseok who was walking nearby. He stopped Jungkook and assessed your situation.
"I think Her Majesty is in labour but she said there was something wrong, where should I take her?"
The desperation in Jungkook's voice was evident as it was also noticed by the slightly older man. Your usually cheerful friend now had a frown on his face as he spoke.
"I'll alert His Majesty immediately and send for the midwife. Go to the King's private chambers, they are closer than hers. Don't leave her side, Jungkook."
He nodded as Hoseok walked away. His hands tightened beneath your knees and around your shoulders as he began to walk toward the king's private chamber with some maids close at his feet to help him accommodate you. His heart was being clutched by the merciless claws of fear. Beating harder with each step, with each whimper that escaped you, with the shaking of your body in his arms.
He could only hope you'd be alright, that the midwife would arrive on time. That you'd live. For Jungkook had no purpose in this life if you weren't by his side. There was already enough pain in him, he wouldn't be able to bear the thought of you leaving him for good.
Jimin sat on his throne in the main hall, Minister Kang stood before him alongside Captain Min who kept an eye around the large room. Political affairs were treated there, heavy discussions of the kingdom were held in that very same room. Matters of importance with deep consequences. So many high-ranking officials had been before the young king but now, the topic at hand was interrupted when Hoseok barged into the room, all the attention going to him as he bowed at the king.
"Your Majesty, forgive my rudeness and lack of manners in front of Minister Kang and Captain Min but you are required urgently in your private chambers. The Queen's in labour."
Jimin stood up as worry crossed his delicate features. He descended the stairs that led to the throne rapidly.
"We will reschedule this meeting, Minister. I need to tend to my wife."
The old man only bowed as the king ran out of the room followed by Hoseok and Yoongi. The news of your early labour spread quickly through the palace and the maids and court ladies were scrambling among the halls. Some of them were carrying bowls with water while others had blankets in their arms.
"Did you send for the midwife?"
Asked Jimin, his pace never never faltered as his mind had only one goal: to get to you.
"Yes, my king. She should be here shortly."
That answer registered in your husband's brain like a soft whisper, he only wanted to reach you, hold your hand. To be there for you. But the corridors seemed to never end, turns and turns made his heart twist with nerves.
That is until Jimin heard your screams. He swore his stomach dropped at such a horrific sound. He halted, feeling how his heart clenched with your pain before resuming his pace, this time running down to his room.
The doors to his large bedroom opened harshly, his eyes instantly found your figure laying on his bedding. A maid was at your right, wiping sweat from your forehead and at your left was Jungkook. His hand in your own as you held onto it with a tight grip.
Jimin went to your side, taking the damped towel from the maid as he began to clean your skin with it. His eyes bored into your pained-marked expressions.
"Jungkook."
Yoongi said from the entrance way, the younger one turned to look at him and he watched how Captain Min signalled him to retire himself. Jungkook gave your hand a soft squeeze, resisting the temptation of placing a kiss on your hand as your husband was in the room.
Your royal guard stood up from his crouching position, the motion forced his hand to leave your iron grip and you whimpered at the loss of his touch. But your attention was stolen when Jimin cradled your cheek and your eyes met his own.
Jungkook bowed silently at the both of you before he stood next to Yoongi. Hoseok was preparing more towels with the help of the maids.
"Your place is not next to her."
Yoongi said softly. Only for Jungkook to hear. The midwife arrived the next second, she entered the private chamber and a damsel slid the doors closed. Leaving Yoongi and Jungkook in the corridor with only your screams filling in the silence.
"I'm scared, Jimin."
He swallowed, your eyes were locked with his own as the midwife prepared you for the delivery. His hand held your own as his thumb ran over your knuckles.
"Don't be. I'm here, it will be alright. Think about our baby, think about our child, Queen of my heart. You'll bring our baby to this world. You'll make us a family."
You nodded, a soft smile appeared on your face at his words. A gasp ripped from your lips. You closed your eyes, feeling something foreign move inside you before the baby began to kick inside your womb.
"The baby moved. It moved."
Your other hand gripped the bedding as the hands of the midwife began palming your bump. Her eyes snapped to look at your husband as you tried to suppress your screams while biting your bottom lip.
"My king, the child is not in position to come out."
Your eyes snapped open at her words. Your hand gripped Jimin's in utter fear.
"I must position the baby, Your Majesty, or it could die."
You took a deep breath. Tears gathered in your eyes whether they were from the pain or the fear you didn't know.
"Do it. You must save my child."
The midwife looked at you with sympathy in her eyes.
"It will hurt, My Queen."
Jimin's heart was already shredded into pieces with your pained whimpers and bitter tears.
"(y/n)-"
"Do it."
You cut your husband off, there was a fire in your eyes burning from the deepest part of your soul. You looked at Jimin for a moment offering him a subtle nod before the midwife began palmind your bump once more, this time with precision in strength. You screamed the next second. But you had to endure it. Endure it and survive, endure it and bring your child to the word. Endure it and continue.
Night had fallen over the palace long ago but your screams of pain still resonated among the walls of the royal residence. For what Jungkook could hear, you were having a rather difficult labour and there was nothing in this world that he wanted more than for you to be alright.
He hadn't moved from his spot, his back was pressed against the wall, his eyes lost as his heart ached. Yoongi was also there, not wanting his friend to be alone when his soul was hurting.
The older one had sent notice to your father, informing him of your early labour but he knew it would take some time for him to receive the letter. Especially since he had gone hunting with some other ministers.
"You should go to your room, Jungkook. It's pretty late."
But your lover shook his head at his friend's words. His distress was palpable in his soft features, his eyes big and round were filled with worry and fear for you. For your future, your well-being and your child.
"I will not leave until I know she is alright."
Yoongi sighed, knowing it was pointless to try and convince Jungkook when he had always been a stubborn man since youth. His fate had always been cruel; devastating. And when he had finally found happiness, those warm rays of sun to illuminate his soul, they got covered by thick clouds of a crude winter.
Even when it was summer, in his heart it was snowing with the sorrow, the pain, the fear, the heartbreak, the love, the desires, the dreams and the promises he once made to you. His love. His Queen. The owner of his heart and mind. Empress to his thoughts. Sultana of his existence.
You have to be alright, princess of mine. Please. Be strong.
You let out another scream, pushing and pushing for your child to come into the world.
"Please... make it stop. I can't. I can't... please."
Jimin shushed you silently. Unknowingly to him, a few tears had leaked from his eyes, rolling down his cheeks slowly at the immense pain you were in. If only he could make it disappear, he would. If only... but that possibility didn't exist.
"Come on, my Queen. I see the baby's head. Push, you have to push."
You took a deep breath before pushing, feeling the child leaving your body. You screamed, you cried, you begged. And after an eternal road of pain, you finally heard it. That glorious sound that made you smile through your tears.
The cries of your baby.
Jimin wiped your forehead with a soft rag, gazing into your eyes lovingly as his child's cries filled the bedroom.
"Congratulations, you have a healthy baby boy."
The midwife's words made you let out a soft chuckle, you saw how she passed your son to one of the maids to clean him up. You turned to look at Jimin whose gaze spoke a million words of gratitude and love, of adoration and happiness.
"A boy, Jimin. You have a son."
He smiled at your words, a hand caressed your face softly.
"Thank you, Queen of my heart. You have made me very happy, the happiest man alive. Thank you."
You smiled, his whispered words reached you like a soft poem said softly in a summer evening. Hoseok handed Jimin the baby wrapped up in a soft blanket. Your husband teared up at the sight of his baby boy, so close. A part of him and you, the woman he loved.
"He's so tiny."
He said to no-one in particular. He held him with care, softly yet firm against his chest. Jimin reached down so that you could see him. Tears of your own made their way into your eyes and you didn't hold them back. Happiness bloomed in your heart, like a flower in spring growing amongst the snow.
"Ha-joon. That name means "summer". "Talented". "Handsome." I wish for him to carry that name for he is my eternal summer."
Jimin smiled down at you, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead.
"I like it. It's beautiful. Park Ha-joon."
You smiled at the name. Your son's name. The moment itself was perfect. So innocent. So soft. So pure.
"My king, should I spread the news that a prince has been born?"
Hoseok asked politely, you looked at him with tired eyes and a grateful smile. Noticing how his sleeves were rolled up, his eyes were tired but he was happy. For you and for your little family.
"Please. Tell everyone that a prince has been born. Park Ha-joon is his name. Tell them. Tell everyone, Hoseok."
Your friend bowed at the king, unable to contain his own radiant smile before he left the private chamber, sliding the door close behind him.
You smiled at your husband, leaning onto his side as your eyes were glued to your baby boy. So tiny, so loved. In a second, the thought of Jungkook crossed your mind and you wished to see him but the exhaustion in your body was stronger than your wish for you fell asleep in your husband's hold with the thought of Jungkook in your mind.
When Hoseok stepped into the corridor he was met with Captain Min and Jungkook. The first one was leaning against the wall while the latter one paced back and forth in the hallway. Jungkook turned to look at Hoseok the moment he heard the door sliding open.
"Her Majesty, Queen (y/n) gave the king a prince. May you share His Majesty's sentiment regarding his son."
Yoongi nodded, a soft smile painted itself over his soft features. A gesture seldom people had seen on the stoic captain. Hoseok began walking down the corridor, the news in his tongue seemed to burn him. But he stopped when the younger man asked in despair. Anxiety marked his words.
"Is she alright? Please tell me she is."
Hoseok faced Jungkook, his eyes bored into the younger one's stressed gaze.
"Queen (y/n) faced a very difficult labour but she is alright now. She needs to rest and gain her strength back. I don't doubt it won't take long for that to happen."
Jungkook bowed down in gratitude to Hoseok, not able to express his thanks verbally as his emotions choked him with their hold on him.
Hoseok rounded a corner, leaving the two men in front of the king's chamber. Jungkook let out a soft sigh, his shoulders dropped down as he could finally relax.
You were alright.
You were alright.
The thought dawned on him and tears of relief gathered in his doe-like eyes. He knew everything was going to be fine. Not perfect for he didn't have you like he wished he could, but you were still here. You were still alive. You still loved him.
Even when winter had frozen those warm days of happiness, you were still there. With him. For him.
October/28/2023
~Masterpost
**I do NOT give my consent for this or any of my works to be posted or translated into any other platforms or languages.
summary⇢ you graduated bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but, to your extreme disappointment, your big girl job isn't turning out to be nearly as exciting as you thought it would be. still, you're holding out hope that your talents will soon be recognized and your coworkers will stop trying to include you in their gossip sessions. enter jungkook, the quiet IT guy who's gradually making your days more bearable. (and if you find him easy on the eyes, that's nobody's business but yours.)
pairing⇢ jungkook/reader
word count⇢ 19.8k 🤭
genre⇢ smut | humor | office!au
warnings⇢ sexual content, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, corporate nonsense, jk is a nerd but he's also really hot 😩
a/n⇢ omg, she's finally here 😭 this fic has been sitting in my drafts partially finished for literal YEARS lmfaoo. as in, jungkook didn't even have tattoos yet years ☠️ in fact, the whole plot for this was spawned from that time namjoon was on a live in his studio and jk visited in this yellow buttonup looking like a hot nerd and namjoon said he looked like he had an interview. it had to be 2018ish...i know my OGs know exactly what i'm talking about, but i'll put it below the cut for reference. ANYWAYS this was fun to imagine, but it's also entirely fiction so please don't attempt anything that happens in this fic lmao. mood for this fic is this. hope you enjoy~ 💜
When you graduated top of your class with a marketing degree and a job already lined up, you weren’t big-headed to assume you would be given a lot in the beginning. No, you knew that you were the new kid on the block and needed to prove yourself first, needed to work your way up from the bottom. But what you definitely didn’t anticipate was working up from thefigurative trenches, almost exclusively doing busywork—constantly making coffee runs, catering business lunches, printing out endless spreadsheets.
Eighty-thousand dollars in debt, and you are a glorified intern.
While you’re positively itching to hit the ground running and get your hands dirty, your job isn’t too bad. The people there are all nice and welcoming, the complimentary coffee in the break room is decent enough for your dwindling bank account, and every quarter the company sponsors an employee barbecue where everyone can fraternize and enjoy free food.
“Apparently it fosters unity and teamwork,” your coworker Joy informs you as you both stand in the food line. “Seokjin—that’s our CEO—is really big on unity and teamwork.”
Joy is also a member of your marketing team. Though friendly, she has zero filter and thus always has a lot to say about everything—which has helped you when it comes to learning the ropes about the company, but has also had you clutching your imaginary pearls in certain situations where you found her topic of choice inappropriate.
Despite only being a year older than you, her title of Marketing Associate instead of your measly Assistant means that she technically outranks you, though she doesn’t usually enforce that fact (unless there was something that needed to be copied or filed, of course). Still, she immediately took you under her wing when you first started and is the closest person to a friend you have at work (even though her daily coffee order is always so ridiculous, you are convinced that she has to be fucking with you—or at least engaging in some form of mild hazing).
“I think it’s nice,” you reply truthfully. “I’ll never say no to free food, and they let us out early and everything.”
“I mean, pretty sure you can get the hotdogs twelve in a pack at the dollar store,” Joy quips, raising her eyebrows at you pointedly. “But sometimes the boys from Sales take their shirts off and play soccer, so there’s that.”
Your eyes dart to said Sales Boys against your will, gaze drawn to Jung Hoseok as he chats animatedly with his teammates by the tables. You’ve only spoken to him once or twice, but his fiery red hair and even brighter smile caught your attention immediately, your heart rate accelerating at the sight of him in hallways mere days into starting your new position. Who better to have a mild work crush on than a sweet-talking salesman who winks at you sometimes in passing?
An appreciative noise has you turning back around, embarrassed at being caught ogling how shapely Hoseok’s butt looks in his dress pants today, but it’s just Wendy from Accounting, Joy’s best friend and thus a harmless, familiar face. Wendy has cut in front of a few editors to join you and Joy, and the way that she smiles at you lets you know she’s up to no good. “He’s cute, huh?” she asks, leaning towards you conspiratorially. “I would definitely give him the good ol’ suck behind the dumpsters over there, if you catch my drift.”
“Err…yeah, I do,” you reply awkwardly. She had been explicitly clear—keyword explicit—so there definitely isn’t any room for misunderstandings. Is this truly appropriate work function conversation? From the way the editors behind you are politely clearing their throats, you think not.
“Behind the dumpster?” Joy asks curiously. “That sounds unnecessarily smelly. He’s standing right next to some sturdy tables that I, for one, would take great advantage of—”
“I’m gonna go get us some drinks,” you announce loudly, your neck heating up. “Can you grab me a hot dog, Joy?”
“Sure,” she says dismissively, already distracted by her sudden debate with Wendy about the most convenient place to suck off salesman Jung.
The whole conversation is making you uncomfortable. You are not a prude—far from it—but there is a time and place for everything, and your coworkers’ blasé attitude towards inappropriate topics at company functions on company time rattles you a bit. So instead of engaging in the risqué discussion further, you make your way to the cluster of brightly-colored coolers that presumably hold beverages, sidling up to the only other person lingering the area.
“Anything good?” you ask cordially, making your coworker, who had apparently been deep in thought while considering his beverage options, startle a bit.
He’s tall, his large frame covered in the appropriate business casual attire of nice jeans and a powder-blue button-up. When he turns his head to look at you, you’re met with large, dark eyes blinking in surprise from behind wire-rimmed glasses. Said eyes dart around for a moment before determining that you were, in fact, speaking to him.
The man clears his throat. “Just the usual,” he says, voice soft. Timid.
“The usual?” you repeat. There are little hoops dangling from his earlobes, and you brush off your surprise at seeing them, returning your gaze to the coolers. Water, a clear soda, a cola. “The basics, you mean. Well, can’t really complain, right? Seeing as it’s all free. I think it’s really nice of them.”
Your companion seems surprised at your words. “It is,” he agrees softly, eyes meeting yours for a second before dropping back down to the cooler. “Um, are you...are you new?”
“Damn, I guess my cover’s blown.” You shoot him a wry smile. “Yeah, I just started a couple of weeks ago. What gave it away?”
“It’s just—no one else here really cares about these barbecues anymore,” he admits, looking at you, but not quite. More like, in your direction. “Everyone has forgotten to appreciate the little things.”
“Nothing is a given,” you shrug. “So you need to appreciate things when you can. And besides, those lots of little things can really add up without you realizing it.”
He finally seems to look at you properly, and the weight of his large, gentle brown eyes throws you off for a second. “They can,” he agrees, lips slowly drifting up.
“What do we have over here?” a loud voice interrupts, a hand falling to your shoulder. You look up, and are met with the brightness of salesman Jung.
“Ah,” Hoseok says with a wink, reaching into the cooler. “I love Sprite.”
“Me too,” you reply automatically, and then immediately want to smack yourself. Because you don’t—carbonated beverages make you break out. But your mouth had formed the lie without your permission.
Embarrassed, you reach into the cooler, grabbing three water bottles. “See you later,” you squeak, avoiding eye contact as you make your escape.
Joy and Wendy are already watching you when you return to where they have procured a table, and when you hand them their waters, Joy raises an eyebrow. “I was wondering how long you were going to talk to that IT guy.”
“Yeah, and why did you leave when Hoseok showed up?” Wendy pouted. “_____, the universe is only going to give you so many opportunities. If you don’t want the ball, then pass it to me! Goddamn.”
“IT guy?” you prompt, hoping to slide past that last remark.
“Yeah. His name is Jungkook, I think? Mostly works with the printers, started a couple months ago.” Joy shrugs, obviously disinterested by the topic. She reaches for the ketchup bottle in the center of the table and squirts some on her hot dog. “This is the first time I’ve seen him at a barbecue, though. Honestly, I’m surprised he even came out, because the IT dudes generally keep to themselves. They rarely leave their little tower,” she adds with a dismissive wave.
Wendy scoffs in disinterest. “Who cares about Jeremy! Hurry up and eat, I’m sure Sales is gonna start their soccer game soon.”
“Soccer game?” you ask distractedly. A glance back to the coolers shows Jungkook is gone, and you don’t see him in the immediate vicinity.
“The sales department likes to play soccer during these things,” Joy reminds you. Her expression brightens. “Hey, maybe Hoseok will take his shirt off again! Let us pray.”
To your coworkers’ disappointment, Hoseok did not take his shirt off. But they certainly had a good time watching his athletic display across the grass anyway.
Monday morning—the start of the workweek, but also, rather depressingly, the end of the weekend. Everyone tends to be more tired and grumpy on Mondays (yourself included), and this is why your team considers it essential that you always stop by their preferred coffeeshop and bring in their drinks for a morning pick-me-up. You’re the lowest on the ladder, so you weren’t exactly sure how to refuse when you were asked one day if you would mind picking up some drinks for everyone, and then, after that, people kept sending you their orders like it was expected of you. The café is technically on your way to work and everyone always pays you back, but it’s still pretty irritating to have to forgo those extra precious minutes of sleep just so you can beat the long lines and get to work on time.
Today, you’re lucky enough to get ahead of the morning rush, but that means that you end up trudging into the building much earlier than you anticipated. You hope the coffee’s insulated cups do their job properly, because you really don’t have the energy to listen to Joy huff and puff about having to reheat hers.
Your trek to your cubicle slows when you realize that someone is already there, sitting in your chair and typing away on your keyboard. Their back is to you, swathed in an olive button-up, and it’s not until you get close enough to curiously crane your head to see their face that you recognize him. The guy from the barbecue last week—the one by the coolers.
He startles a bit when he sees you approach in his peripheral vision, eyes darting up at you in surprise.
“Hi.” You raise the tray you’re holding in an awkward greeting. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to creep up on you.”
“That’s okay, _____,” he replies softly, wide eyes blinking a little from behind his round glasses. “I can get kind of spacey when I’m focused on something. I was just doing some updates on your machine and didn’t see you.”
“You…” Your head tilts curiously. “You know my name?”
A small smile touches his lips as he points to your computer. “I’m updating your machine,” he reminds you.
Not to mention the fact that he’s literally sitting in your cubicle, you name tag clearly posted on the frosted glass that separates your space from Joy’s. An embarrassed chuckle leaves you when you realize your dumbass mistake. “Oh. Duh. Wow, that was a stupid question. Let me just get out of your way.”
“No, no, I’m clearly the one in the way!” His head shakes apologetically. “I couldn’t do this update remotely and I thought you didn’t clock in for another half hour—sorry about that.”
“I don’t,” you confirm. “But I tend to get here a little early so I can sort out everyone’s coffee order.”
A brow raises in surprise. “Do they really have you making coffee runs?” he asks incredulously.
You hmm in confirmation, moving to set the coffee on everyone’s desks. “Rite of passage, I guess,” you call over the divider as you work. Joy’s order today isn’t as over the top as you know she can be, but you were still rather embarrassed to order it (vanilla latte with oatmilk—one and a half pumps cinnamon, one pump hazelnut, an extra espresso shot and extra foam with honey drizzle). The barista had looked at you tiredly but hadn’t voiced her obvious judgement when she rung you up.
“I guess,” you hear him say, but he doesn’t sound too convinced.
Coffee distributed and hands finally free, you return to lean against your cubicle, hovering as he continues to quickly type and click. You look at him pointedly, a small smile creeping across your face. “Speaking of grunt work, I hear you’re the printer guy.”
His lips quirk. “I’m also the expert at updating Microsoft Word, just so you know.”
You laugh, and his eyes crinkle in amused response. “Oh, well excuse me, sir.”
“I’ll let it slide this once. Since you’re new.”
“And so are you. That’s why you’re the printer guy.”
He just lets out a puff of air that sounds suspiciously like a laugh. This close, you can now see the tiny holes that are trailing up his earlobe—he clearly has multiple ear piercings, not just the ones you saw at the barbecue. There is no jewelry in them now, though.
“Jungkook, right?”
It’s his turn to look surprised, and you find yourself satisfied by the flush creeping up the back of his neck when he ducks his head in confirmation.
“Us newbies gotta stick together,” you stage whisper behind a conspiratorial hand before leaning decidedly away. “Anyway, let me stop bothering you and go make some coffee.”
His eyebrows scrunch in clear confusion. “Didn’t you just bring some?”
“…Yeah, I am only just now recognizing just how bizarre this must seem,” you say sheepishly. “But none of those were for me—fancy specialty drinks aren’t really in my budget, so I tend to just brew a cup here.”
“Did you say drinks?” a voice croaks, and when you turn your head, there’s Joy, walking towards the two of you. If her body’s sluggish movements weren’t enough to clue you in to the fact that she’s exhausted and possibly hungover, the designer sunglasses she’s wearing to tactfully hide half her face certainly do.
“On your desk,” you chirp as she walks past you without another glance. “Good morning!”
There is no response from the other side of the cubicle wall, and Jungkook frowns a bit, but you just give him a small shrug that translates to what can you do? before pushing off the wall to continue your trek to the kitchen. “You want one?” you offer. “I make a mean cafeteria coffee. Trial and error has taught me the exact temperature of tap water to use to make it taste less like sludge.”
His mouth smoothes back out at your joke, and though you wait for him to call you out on your ridiculous declaration, his gaze is already back on your computer. “No thank you,” comes his soft reply.
With a nod to yourself, you move to complete your task and leave Jungkook to work on his. When you return minutes later, newly-filled mug in hand, he’s already gone.
Today starts out pretty typically. After bringing everyone’s coffee, you settle into monitoring the company’s social media accounts. (When Joy first delegated this task to you, you were a bit confused, as social media is so vital to brands nowadays that handling it is technically a whole other full-time job. But it turns out you don’t have to do much above the intern level anyway—just answer customer questions and escalate issues if need be.)
Your manager has been out traveling for a week, but today she finally comes back to the office, and it makes for a nice change of pace when she hands you all of her scattered, hurriedly-scribbled notes and asks you to please transcribe them into something more cohesive and legible. Well, not nice, exactly (because at the end of the day, this is still busywork), but if you have to reply to one more Facebook comment with instructions that are clearly already on the product packaging, there is a pretty likely possibility you will scream.
This is at least slightly less mind-numbing. Instead of copy-pasting things from a prewritten script, you get to try to make sense of what your boss had been trying to say when she wrote turkey club in the corner of a page filled with random numbers and dates. Was this important? Was it simply her plans for lunch that day? You and your fancy college degree have the pleasure of trying to figure that out while Joy and Alan, the web manager, get to actually do important things that are in their job descriptions.
Still, like every day, you try to dampen your frustration, try to keep a positive attitude. Because ultimately, this is an opportunity to grow your boss’s confidence in you, and that’s exactly what you want. Though you’re a little disheartened by all the busywork, you remind yourself it will all be worth it in the end. Your hope is that if you put in the time, you’ll eventually be trusted with more of the nitty gritty stuff.
(You know…the stuff you actually got your degree for.)
But no matter how positive you are, things of course don’t go as smoothly as they should. After you’ve done a pretty fantastic job (if you say so yourself) of organizing and typing everything up, you send your manager the digital version. And, because you know the email may accidentally get buried in her inbox, you decide to print a physical copy for good measure.
You give the printer pretty simple, straightforward directions. One copy, double-sided (to do your part to save Mother Earth), the whole document typed in plain old black and white. But when you walk over, there’s nothing waiting for you in the printing tray. No humming to clue you in to the fact that the printer was working on your job. Nope. Instead, the admittedly ancient machine is quiet and still, and it stays that way for long enough for you to walk back to your computer to press the print button again, just in case you forgot to do so the first time. Still no dice. You frown, opening the paper tray to make sure it was full, then opening every other compartment that can possibly be opened to make sure there isn’t a paper jam somewhere.
Nothing.
Irritated, you stalk back to your desk, your first inclination to check with Joy and see if she has been having any of the same issues, but you find her chair empty. Probably got pulled into a meeting that they don’t find it necessary to loop you in on, even though it will ultimately be you who does all the grunt work for any action items the meeting produces.
Positive, you remind yourself, falling back into your chair and drumming your fingertips against your desk in thought. Maybe it’s not the printer at all. Maybe it’s your computer. You search your desk drawer for the introductory employee contact sheet HR had given you when you first started, and there he is—Jeon, Jungkook.
For a second, you consider sending him an email, but the green dot that displays he’s online has you shooting him a message instead. Much less formal, but likely quicker for the both of you.
You
Hey Jungkook! Sorry to bother you, but I can’t print for some reason
You
The printer over here is ignoring me, and I don’t think I’m set up to print by the art directors
Despite what you originally assumed, he doesn’t answer immediately, obviously focused on something else. Still, you only have to wait a few minutes before you hear the soft ding you were waiting for.
Jungkook Jeon
Hi, _____. You mean the large printer by the marketing department, correct?
You
Yes! I tried a couple times, but I don’t think the job even went through
You
Thought it best to just ask the printer guy 🙂
There’s a pause, one long enough that you worry that he’s forgotten about your lighthearted exchange from this morning. Shit. That was stupid of you. You’ve probably offended him. Fuck.
But if Jungkook is upset with you, he’s professional enough that it doesn’t come across at all in his next message. If anything, he just seems a little preoccupied.
Jungkook Jeon
Hmmm, let me check it out for you. Mabel can be a little uncooperative.
You
Mabel?
Silence again, this time for a good five minutes. You answer some emails so you’re not just sitting there twiddling your thumbs.
Jungkook Jeon
Sorry, was running some diagnostics in the background to see if I could find the problem
IT kinda calls that printer Mabel because we’re pretty sure she’s worked for the company for longer than all of us combined. Seems fitting
You can’t help but snort at that. Cute, and likely not inaccurate. Mabel, it is.
Jungkook Jeon
One of these days Mabel’ll finally retire, but it won’t be today—looks like she’s running fine. Do you mind checking for me and seeing if you can access the marketing server?
A few clicks, and when double clicking on the server icon doesn’t bring up the same list of folders it usually does, it confirms the conclusion the both of you have already come to—your computer is the problem, not Mabel.
You
No dice 😕
Jungkook Jeon
Got it. I think something went weird with your network connection after I updated your machine this morning. I can fix that for you!
You
Awesome! I appreciate it!
Jungkook Jeon
Of course! Can’t have my sparkling reputation as the Printer Guy tarnished so easily 😉
You
LOL
You allow him remote access to your computer when a pop-up prompts you to, and he gets you up and running before your manager’s meeting is even over.
Lunch has always been an interesting—albeit potentially exhausting—part of your day. You learned early on that attempting to take the break you were legally entitled to at your desk did not stop anyone from continuing to ask you for things. Unfortunately, there weren’t many solutions to this problem—you didn’t get paid enough to be able to consistently eat your lunches out, and you lived too far away from the office to go home for lunch instead. So, you started taking your lunch break a little earlier than most of your other coworkers did, ensuring that the cafeteria was pretty empty and allowing you the space to decompress and eat your bagged lunch in peace.
And as things usually went with this company, it didn’t take long for that peace to be interrupted. Once she noticed you disappearing from your desk, curiosity had Joy tagging along one day, and after that, it only took a couple weeks before both she and Wendy joined you.
(Later, you would have the great idea to simply enjoy your bagged lunch in the park a few blocks away, but the weather wasn’t always great and at that point, the other two started to expect you to eat with them.)
So that’s exactly how you’re spending your lunch now—scarfing down the soup you made a few days ago that you’ll eat until it’s completely gone, while Joy and Wendy giggle and gossip to each other. As much as they apparently want to eat lunch with you, they tend to be pretty nonplussed by how you never contribute much to their inane conversations.
And you’re fine with that. In the time it’s taken them to get comfortable invading your zen time, you’ve learned how to properly tune their tittering out. You’re good at nodding at the right times, at throwing in perfectly placed hums that indicate you’re listening, even when you’re not.
Today, it’s a sudden, uncharacteristic pause in their chatter that prickles against your diverted attention. “That’s weird,” you hear Wendy mutter, and that officially throws you out of you mentally making your grocery list. The intrigued way she’s looking behind you makes you reflexively turn, and that’s when your eyes set on Jungkook.
He hadn’t been there when you first sat down for lunch, but he is now, sitting alone a couple tables away. He’s the only other person in the cafeteria, but from the AirPods in his ears and the way his eyes are focused on his phone screen, you doubt he’s even noticed this fact.
Joy’s lips downturn slightly into a puzzled frown. “Hmm. IT guys never come down voluntarily from their tower.”
Your head tilts as you mull over that. That isn’t exactly true. You have only seen Jungkook in passing a few times over the last couple weeks, but those few times prove IT aren’t exactly the antisocial specters the two women in front of you keep painting them as. You have even exchanged the short pleasantries with him that are socially expected when crossing paths at the coffeepot.
“Wonder what he’s doing here?” Wendy says, not nearly quietly enough in your opinion. Embarrassment flashes hot through you, inwardly chastising yourself for continuing to associate with such casually judgmental people. You’re already mentally preparing to apologize for your lunch mates when a covert glance out of the corner of your eye shows that Jungkook’s still paying your group no attention, taking distracted bites from his sandwich as his head bobs slightly to whatever is playing through his headphones.
“Whatever,” Joy says with a dismissive shrug, and then just that easily, the two are back gossiping about Cindy in HR.
From then on, you notice that Jungkook continues to eat lunch in the cafeteria at the same time as you. Sometimes, he beats you there, already at his designated table and munching on whatever he brought that day. If your eyes meet, he’ll send you a small smile in greeting before immediately dropping his focus back to his phone. If you’re there first and throw him a wave of acknowledgment, he always returns it, as is polite and expected of two coworkers who don’t know each other beyond their forced proximity.
And you think nothing of it, too busy being your department’s errand girl, the person who gets assigned all the tasks no one else wants to do. The amount of interaction you and Jungkook have is only marginally higher than what you have with Namjoon in Finance, who periodically reaches out to you for any missing receipts for charges on the Marketing department’s credit card.
This slowly starts changing as you begin to have more and more technical problems. You being assigned to put together multiple PowerPoints and research whatever market trends tickles your boss’s fancy means you constantly have an ungodly amount of tabs and applications open. This means you’re not really surprised when your computer—an older model that is definitely on its last leg—starts freezing and giving you pop up errors. A force restart seems to fix the problem, but a new one emerges—now, no matter how many times you hit the print button and walk over to your designated printer, nothing awaits for you to pick up. Even scrolling through the printer’s print history shows no record of your jobs being in the queue. It’s bizarre—you even make sure to confirm you’re connected to the servers, and that doesn’t seem to be the issue this time.
Frowning, you make your way back to your desk and scroll down your chat messages until a familiar face appears.
You
Hey Jungkook! I can’t seem to print—think something weird is going on with my computer today
A soft sigh of frustration escapes your lips, fingers drumming irritably against your desk. It isn’t even noon, but the day is already looking to be a long one.
Resigned, you settle in to wait for him to answer you in the chat, but the little bubbles that indicate he’s typing never pop up. Instead, you’re surprised when movement in your peripheral produces Jungkook himself, slowing in approach of your desk, though his focus is still on his phone screen. He must have gotten your message in the midst of doing something else.
“Oh! Hi,” you greet him eagerly. “Just the person I was looking to see.”
He looks up at you from beneath the curtain of his bangs, a small smile touching his lips as he stuffs his phone back into the pocket of his slacks. “Just the person I was looking for,” he returns. “What seems to be the problem?”
“Mabel is being a bitch again,” you say with an irritated sigh. “Every time I try to print, nothing is happening.”
Jungkook snorts, amused, and it’s only then that your brain registers exactly what you just said. Swearing at work is unprofessional so you make it a point not do it, but that one slipped out so casually. “Oh—sorry.”
But if Jungkook is offended, it certainly doesn’t show in the responding chuckle he lets out. “That’s definitely on brand. I can fix that—let me take a look.”
You move to relinquish your seat, but he’s already leaning over you before you can do more than shift your weight. So you just let go of your mouse so he can control it instead, scooting to the side a bit and trying your best not to think too hard about how he’s close enough for your clothes to brush. Christ does he smell good.
Jungkook clicks around a bit, no doubt checking to make sure your computer is up to date and connected to everything it’s supposed to. “Is this what you’ve been trying to print?” he finally asks, brows furrowed in concentration.
You blink at the question, realizing with dawning horror that you were accidentally distracted by his proximity. You clear your throat, shaking your head a little at yourself in an attempt to clear it of all thoughts that aren’t solidly on the task at hand. “Yeah.”
He clicks the print button, just as you have done for the past ten minutes, then straightens with a shrug. “Let’s give our old girl a visit and see what her deal is.”
You stand, following him around the corner to the copy room, where Mabel has proudly taken residence for who knows how many years. The fact that you can already see she’s humming with activity as the two of you approach has your eyebrows knitting in confusion.
Jungkook seems equally confused, reaching in the tray for the stack of paper that was just spit out and turning it over to confirm both of your suspicions. The report you’ve been trying to print for the last twenty minutes sits in his hand, likely still warm from how quickly and easily Mabel completed Jungkook’s request. He holds it up for you to see, his big doe eyes peering at you quizzically through his glasses. “This printer was the one that wouldn’t work for you?” he asks.
“Yeah, I definitely sent it to this one. Repeatedly,” you insist. Embarrassment prickles across your skin. “I swear it wasn’t working two seconds ago!”
Jungkook smiles when he hands you the papers, and it somehow softens his naturally cherubic face even more. “You just wanted to say hi to me, huh?”
“Clearly Mabel likes you more than me,” you sniff at his teasing. “Sorry for wasting your time.”
“You didn’t,” he says simply. He hovers for a few more moments as you check to make sure all the pages are there. “Let me know if you have any more issues, okay?”
“Will do,” you agree, mind already back on your work as you both turn to part ways. “Thank you so much for your help!”
“Anytime.”
“Didn’t you have a date last night?” Joy asks.
It’s lunchtime again, early enough that the three of you are still the only ones in the cafeteria. While both Joy and Wendy are munching on some overpriced salads they had delivered from a restaurant a couple blocks away, you’re eating a boring ham and cheese sandwich that you haphazardly slapped together in your rush to get out the door this morning. Vaguely, you do remember Wendy mentioning something about an upcoming hot date, but she was always rambling about a hot date, and frankly, you don’t care enough to keep up with any details. Everything you know about her love life—and her, in all honesty—has been dumped onto you without you having any say in the matter.
“I did,” Wendy squeals, excited as always to have the opportunity to talk about herself. “His name was Miles. We’ve been talking on Tinder for the past week—he was really sweet and seemed to want to get to know me. Last night he took me to a nice restaurant, really wined and dined me.”
“Wow,” Joy says, eyebrows raised. “That sounds promising. When are you gonna see him again?”
“I’m not,” Wendy scoffed. “He was nice and all, but he’s only 5’7. It’ll never work out.”
“True.”
You’ve been trying your hardest to zone them out, but the longer Wendy prattles on, each sentence more baffling than the last, you can’t help but interject, “Doesn’t the app let you filter out height preferences?”
Wendy pauses, a raise of an eyebrow betraying her surprise at you finally participating in her lunchtime shenanigans. “Not on the free version.”
“So why did you even entertain him if you knew you would never consider him seriously?”
“..because I wanted to go to dinner?” Wendy replies flatly, the look on her face doing nothing to hide how stupid she thinks your question is. “Besides, he got what he wanted out of the deal. After dinner I took him home and let him fuck.”
The flippantly casual way she throws out the vulgar word feels like a record scratch, especially since the three of you are, in fact, still very much on company premises. Wendy doesn’t seem to notice just how much she’s scandalized you, continuing to prattle on at full volume about how the sex was pretty good for a Tinder date, even though he refused to eat her out.
At this point, you’ve long slowed in your chewing, now entirely too incredulous by the absurdity of the situation you’ve found yourself in to eat.
“You didn’t suck him, did you?” Joy asks.
Wendy scoffs. “Of course not! I’m not giving head to some random anyway, especially if he’s not gonna give me mine first.”
“Can we not talk about this?” you mumble.
They both turn to stare at you, judgement plain on their faces. Wendy snorts. “Wow, _____. I never took you to be a prude.”
“I did,” Joy slides in under her breath.
You let out an agitated huff. This is ridiculous. “I’m not a prude.”
The two of them share a look. After a pause, Wendy finally asks in a way that indicates that it doesn’t really matter what you say because her mind is already made up, “Then what’s the problem?”
Aside from this conversation being a massive HR violation?
Wendy continues smugly, as if she’s figured you out, “Talking about oral hit a nerve…interesting.”
Yes, Wendy! you think sarcastically, fighting the intense urge to roll your eyes. The whole rest of the convo was good and dandy—oral was definitely the line, though!
Joy just looks at you, her eyes narrowing the longer she does. Her scrutiny makes your skin prickle in irritation. “You have gotten head before, right?”
“Okay!” you say sharply, stuffing the uneaten half of your sandwich back into the bag. “One, that’s neither of your business, and two, this conversation is completely inappropriate. Let’s change the subject, please.”
It’s quiet for a moment, both of them visibly surprised by your response. Joy actually looks a tiny bit proud that you stood up for yourself, but Wendy just sniffs and mutters, “That obviously means no.” Ultimately, they both back off, choosing instead to chatter about the newest design of Joy’s nails.
You exhale a tiny sigh of relief. Wendy was hitting the nail too close to the head and you truly didn’t feel like explaining your life story to a nosy coworker who was nothing more than your acquaintance, at best. Now that they’ve finally let you out of the hot seat, you’re fully planning to spend the rest of your lunch hour zoning out in relative peace.
But before you can properly dissociate, you hear someone cough behind you.
Your blood runs cold. You already know who it is—no one else tends to eat lunch this early.
“How long has he been sitting there?” you whisper, already dreading the answer.
Joy waves an unbothered hand. “I don’t know, like five minutes?”
Five minutes. Long enough to have heard…
You’re immediately mortified, and it must show on your face, because Wendy just snorts and says way too loudly for your comfort, “Oh, relax, this is probably the most action he’s gotten in months. I’m doing him a favor.”
What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK. “Are you serious right now?”
“Calm down,” Joy says, rolling her eyes. “Look, he’s not even listening to us.”
And a slow, discrete turn of your head confirms what she says—Jungkook, in an ugly salmon button-up today, has his earbuds in, eyes downcast to his phone screen, lips soundlessly forming the words to whatever song he’s listening to. You feel a tiny bit of relief, but embarrassment still roils deep in your belly, suddenly making your half-eaten sandwich completely unappetizing.
You stand, grabbing the brown paper bag that contains the remnants of your lunch and hoping against hope that you’ll be able to bolt without him noticing.
“Oh come on, don’t be like that,” Wendy sighs, annoyance bleeding into her tone. “I told you I didn’t realize you were a prude. We can talk about something else.”
You bristle, but tamp down the urge to defend yourself and point out again that you aren’t a prude, you just don’t want to be the office harlot either. “It’s not that,” you lie. The judgmental look in Joy’s eye only softens when you say, “I just remembered I forgot to print the printouts for the meeting this afternoon. I’ll see you guys later?”
“Sure,” Joy says dismissively, and Wendy says nothing at all. They’ve already moved on, no longer interested in your swift escape, attention eagerly back on the details of Wendy’s weekend. That’s works perfectly fine for you—you’ve had enough of being the center of attention for the day.
Blessedly, Jungkook doesn’t even look up when slink past him and out the door.
It’s hot.
Third quarter is well underway, which means that it’s time again for the quarterly company barbecue. That also means it’s hot as balls.
You suffer quietly, trying not to add to the stank atmosphere Joy and Wendy are already creating due to the heat. It’s an ambitious goal, especially since you’re already sweltering beneath your blouse—which was reasonable to wear within the chilled walls of the office, but feels rather ridiculous now, under the relentless beat of the sun. Despite being grateful for the free food and break from your maddeningly boring work, you can’t help but mentally yearn for the indoors, where there’s proper shade and air conditioning and decidedly less bitching.
“I don’t know why they don’t just cater something for us to eat inside,” Joy mopes, dabbing at her brow with what you already know from experience to be a cheap, scratchy napkin. “How is anyone supposed to enjoy themselves if we’re melting?”
“It’s probably a ploy,” Wendy quips. “The more uncomfortable we are, the more likely we are to get back to work.”
“The date’s been on the calendar for months,” you point out wearily. “They had no way of knowing there’d be a heat wave today. Besides, the company’s already paid for the food. I doubt they intended to purposely waste that money.”
Joy scoffs in retort. “The company also knows throwing an outdoor event in July is the same as throwing one in Satan’s asshole.”
Wendy sniggers, but you don’t answer, biting back your response that outdoor barbecues are common during summer, and at least they don’t have you out here in the snow. Because honestly? This is only your second quarter with the company, and who knows what the fourth quarter barbecue looks like.
All you can do is free some of the buttons on your blouse, undoing as many as you can while still being office-appropriate. As it is, you now have a little cleavage peeking out, but with how hot it is, you figure no one will say anything.
“Look,” Wendy says with an unsubtle tip of her head. “Looks like the soccer game is still on, at least.”
Fluttering the hem of your blouse in an attempt to get some circulation, you reflexively respond to her prompting, eyes following her line of sight. A few tables down, the Sales team has finished their meal and appears to be actively gauging coworker interest in joining their game. From the decently-sized group that’s starting to form by the open field, you think they’re pretty successful, despite the heat.
Joy groans, lifting her long hair with a hand in an effort to cool off the back of her neck. “I don’t know how they’re doing all that when it feels too hot to breathe.”
Inwardly, you agree with her, but Wendy just gives a lazy shrug and says, “Hey, if we’re gonna roast to death, at least we’ll be properly entertained.”
“True,” Joy muses. “And they’re gonna be sweatier than usual.”
Wendy’s eyes glaze over a bit at the thought. You grimace, amazed that these two always seem to have their heads in the gutter. That’s my cue. “I’ll be right back,” you say, brushing off the back of your slacks as you stand, but they pay you no mind when you walk away.
You’ve already finished your meal, but it can’t hurt to take another look at the coolers. It’s so hot that you’ve already downed your first beverage, so a new one is in order. When you arrive to the area, two people from Customer Service pass, nodding at you in acknowledgment as they make their way back to their table. You’ve only just started to reach for a cooler lid when you hear someone address you again.
“Hey,” a familiar voice says timidly behind you. “How’s it going?”
You reflexively turn your head, simultaneously surprised and not at all to find Jungkook standing there. He’s got on a long-sleeved button-up despite the heat—grey, checkered with a red and navy plaid—and you can’t help but wonder how he’s not sweltering. Though, the noticeable sheen on his face and the way his damp bangs are starting clump together tells you he just might be.
“I’ve had better days,” you answer honestly, swiping the back of your hand across your forehead. Before you can catch yourself, that same hand is vaguely gesturing at him, head to toe. “How are you not melting?”
His lips twitch, amused. “I definitely am,” he admits. “I actually hoped no one was over here so I could stuff some of the ice from these coolers down my shirt without being judged.”
You snort. “Hey, who’s judging? Certainly not me. Knock yourself out; just make sure you leave me some.”
He taps his chin, jokingly in thought, but to be honest, he does mildly look as if he’s actually considering it. “Well, we wouldn’t want the beverages to get cold…”
“Eh, there’s probably not that many in here anyway. They could probably consolidate coolers.” To prove your point, you bend over, cracking open one of the red ones next to you and peering inside. The expected assortment of generic sodas greets you, looking admittedly very refreshing floating in their ice bath. “See, this one isn’t even full.”
You angle your torso a bit so you can meet his eye properly over your shoulder, but as soon as you look up at him, his gaze hurriedly skirts away, color crawling up the back of his neck. You stand with a frown, confused by this, but ultimately brush off his weird behavior when you notice Namjoon from Accounting sidling up to the two of you.
"Hey guys," he greets you, a friendly smile dimpling his cheeks. "We're getting some people together for a soccer game. I know it's really hot, but would either of you want to join?"
You’ve often seen Namjoon chatting with Hoseok in passing, and twice have even seen them leave the building for lunch together, so it doesn’t surprise you that the accountant is helping recruit for the Sales team's traditional barbecue pastime. What does surprise you, however, is that when he casually claps a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, the younger man first responds by blinking owlishly at him behind his glasses, and then, a few seconds later, giving him a nod of assent.
Obviously you don't know Jungkook very well—not at all, really, outside of your ongoing feud with Mabel. But you didn't take him to be the type to be into playing outdoor sports, particularly in this weather, and you certainly didn't expect him to agree so easily. A smile from Namjoon and suddenly all thoughts of stealing cooler ice are gone.
Namjoon turns back to you, but you're already shaking your head. "Nope, no thank you! Y'all have fun. I'll just supervise from over there in the shade."
"Fair enough," he chuckles, and then he's leading Jungkook across the open field to meet up with the others.
Mildly more interested in the game now, you take this as your cue to grab the beverage you came for—a can of a Lipton knockoff and a bottle of water for good measure—and return to your table.
Joy and Wendy are still yapping when you approach, though in your absence, Joy has apparently decided to move to Wendy’s side of the table. It only takes you following their line of sight to quickly recognize why—that side of the table has an unobstructed view of the upcoming soccer game. Well, unobstructed, so long as you change your seat too. Awkward about intentionally getting in the way, you pause for only a moment before ultimately reaching for the end seat perpendicular to them instead.
When you lean over a little to pull your chair out from under the table, Joy finally deigns to acknowledge you, ticking an eyebrow. “I can see down your shirt,” she tells you offhandedly.
Your head snaps down, and you realize she’s right—undoing those few extra buttons has made the billowy fabric more susceptible to gravity, particularly when you leaned over. You yourself could see your whole chest and the basic bra that supported it, and at this angle, you doubt your blouse covered much of that from Joy’s gaze. A hand immediately snaps up to press the material back in place, but before you can even get properly embarrassed, her attention is ripped from you, eyes wide at something behind you.
“Holy—”
Wendy's jaw drops. Your head reflexively turns in the direction they're gawking at.
And before you can stop it, your jaw drops too.
Your tablemates have been known to be dramatic, and are certainly the type to stretch a fact or two. But it’s only now that you fully understand their fixation on these Sales soccer games, because yes, sometimes they do indeed take their shirts off. Like now.
Other than one girl from Compliance, all of the game’s recruits appear to be men, and as such, the group has chosen to distinguish teams by shirts vs. skins. And while the sudden appearance of skin naturally draws most people’s attention, your attention only gravitates towards one person. Cause what the fuck.
You almost don't recognize him, your brain rapidly shuffling through the information it's collected about him over the past few months and struggling to reconcile with what your eyes are actually seeing. Because the Jungkook you know wears glasses and long sleeves and has an unassuming hairstyle that looks suspiciously like a bowl may have been involved at some point.
But the person you're looking at now? Glasses have been discarded, apparently no longer needing optical assistance, and he’s ditched the button-up, sweat making the white sleeveless tank he has on underneath spottily transparent and divulging the dusk of his nipples. Now that you can properly see the taper of his slim waist, his shoulders are proportionally more broad than you realized. And, since he clearly has no regard for your rapidly rising blood pressure, Jungkook decides now is the perfect time to reach over said shoulders, grab fistfuls of damp fabric, and pull. The sight of him slipping the shirt over his head—the ink of his hair sinfully mussed, the muscles of his back rippling with the movement—has you reflexively swallowing, mouth dry.
He's absolutely ripped.
There's no other way to say it. A superior specimen, built and honed in a way that's only possible through years of hard work and discipline. He's still lean enough that you can rationalize how you’ve never picked up on that amount of muscle hiding beneath his unassuming dress shirts, but you're still gobsmacked.
Your mind spins, struggling to come to terms with the near impossible fact Jungkook actually pulled a Clark Kent on you. Well, pulled a Clark Kent if Clark Kent was also covered in gorgeous ink, pigment swirling up his right arm from wrist to shoulder. From this distance you can’t see the exact designs that make up his intricate sleeve, but you can tell it was composed with a purposeful eye.
Jungkook is absolutely ripped and tattooed. Jungkook. Printer guy Jungkook.
Flustered and trying not to be, you quickly look away, clanking your jaw shut and trying to focus on the plastic tabletop instead. Dear god, this is embarrassing. You really just gawked at your coworker! He was minding his own business and your jaw just reflexively unhinged like a degenerate. God, you hoped he didn't see that.
But any mortification you have is apparently not shared by the other two at your table.
“Is that Justin?!” Wendy demands rather shrilly, eyes wide, and the volume of her question would embarrass you even more if your brain could process any other reaction right now other than straight static. “Justin from IT?!”
You swallow thickly, your responding correction weak and delayed. “Jungkook.”
“Finally,” Joy groans, pushing her plate away dramatically. “Some good fucking food!”
You can’t help it then—your eyes drift back up, lured to the soccer players once more and zeroing in on him immediately. Seemingly unable to stray from his form, the heat already producing a sheen over his golden skin even though the game hasn’t started yet.
Surrounded by a few surprised male coworkers, Jungkook’s slightly hunched into himself, shy at the sudden attention. Even with the distance, you can see how Hoseok claps Jungkook on the back, just as animated over his newly revealed physique as the members of your table. But while everyone else is excited by this revelation…
Across the field, Jungkook innocuously turns his head in your direction. Like magnets, his eyes hone in on yours, your gaze locked for a few seconds until another loud What the fuck?! from Wendy frees you from the spell and you hurriedly look away again, a completely different kind of heat washing over you.
Jesus, you need to get ahold of yourself. There’s no way he was actually looking at you—it’s too sunny, and he’s not even wearing his glasses! He probably can’t even see that far.
But when you brave another peek in that direction and realize you can literally count his abs from here—
What the fuck, indeed.
Mutely, you watch the game unfold, not as self-conscious when it becomes clear that the whole office is doing the same. Though Joy and Wendy have been very salacious in their excitement for it, the soccer game is evidently a company barbecue highlight for others as well. And you’re sure Jungkook joining the fray has only added to the interest, as he’s a completely new addition to the equation.
And to your continued astonishment, Jungkook is good. He’s fast and lithe and brazen. He proves to you, again and again, that he can kick the ball with such ferocious accuracy that the other team’s goalie eventually stops trying to get in his way and simply resorts to trying to protect their vulnerable body parts instead. His intensity only entices reciprocal energy from everyone else, and what has traditionally been a lighthearted game between coworkers has now transformed into a group of competitive men who feel they now have something to prove.
Joy and Wendy are delighted by this development, squealing and cheering and tittering amongst themselves. You sit quietly, still trying to mentally process this new development, but when you start to feel embarrassed by just how much you’re staring, you decide to call it a day. No one really notices when you stand and gather your trash, and luckily the distraction of the game means you’re able to slip out without any fanfare.
This quarter’s barbecue being on a Friday means you’re blessed with a weekend to decompress and regroup. Unfortunately for you, the office doesn’t just…move on from the event like it has in the past. Instead, this particular barbecue was apparently such a success that you continue to hear chatter about it for the next week, mostly in passing. But while everyone else makes small talk about how much fun they had, Joy and Wendy choose to hone in on the only thing they truly consider worthy of discussion—Jungkook.
Today, just as they have every day for the past few months, they join your table when you take your early lunch. However, to their increasing irritation, the object of their current fixation isn’t here. In fact, Jungkook hasn’t showed up to the cafeteria during your lunch time since before the barbecue, and you inwardly have to admit it’s a little strange without him. You sat at different tables and the two of you never really said much to each other beyond the expected niceties, but you’ve gotten used to his presence all the same.
You actually have barely seen him at all, with Mabel on her best behavior this week and Jungkook seemingly busy with something that has kept him mostly out of common areas. Still, with your embarrassingly strong reaction to him at the barbecue, it’s probably for the best. You’re a little wary of what your first proper interaction is going to be like, and you’ve been mentally preparing yourself to be as normal as possible.
Your female lunchmates don’t seem to have that same mindset.
“Does he just not eat anymore?” Joy huffs. “I literally haven’t seen him all week!”
Wendy picks at her salad, lips twisted in a displeased grimace. “I actually saw him yesterday.”
Joy’s head snaps to her. “What?! You didn’t tell me that. What happened?”
“Since casually running into him doesn’t seem to be working, I figured I’d try getting him to come to me. So I unplugged my keyboard and messaged him, but he didn’t show up for like 40 minutes,” Wendy sighs irritably. “And when he did, he looked at me like I was a moron.”
Your lips twitch in amusement before you can stop them. Joy immediately says exactly what you’re thinking. “Well, you are a moron. You sat there for 40 minutes with your keyboard unplugged!”
Wendy soldiers on like she didn't hear her, undeterred from her gossiping. “So he came over in his ugly button-up and judged me! Plugged the keyboard back in and walked away without even saying anything.”
Despite not properly running into him all week, you actually did see Jungkook’s shirt in passing yesterday as he was turning down a hallway at the far end of the office. Wendy’s right—it had been an ugly puce. You found it endearing.
“He didn’t even roll up his sleeves,” Wendy mourned. “The least Jamal could have done was give me that.”
You pause in the chewing of the tuna sandwich you brought from home, exasperated. “Jamal,” you repeat flatly. “Really?”
Wendy waves her hand at you dismissively. “You know who I mean!”
“I mean, he’ll probably be more willing to talk to you if you treat him like an actual person.” Your quip is reflexive and indignant, and it kind of throws all three of you off guard. Joy raises an eyebrow at you and your sudden vexation, but you still add, though more subdued, “You know. Making an effort to remember his name is a good start.”
“Damn, who pissed in your Cheerios?” Wendy sniffs, though she doesn’t seem very offended by your callout. Over the months you’ve superficially gotten to know her, you’ve come to notice that she doesn’t really take much seriously—a simultaneously admirable and frustrating trait. “If you wanted dibs, you could have just said that.”
You feel heat flush up your neck, denial attempting to sputter from your lips, but true to form, Wendy has already moved on, tittering about how it’s about time the office had some proper excitement that wasn’t just meetings and spreadsheets.
“And speaking of meetings,” Joy pipes up, passing you a nonchalant look, “don’t forget to order those sandwiches for the client meeting tomorrow.”
“Sandwiches?” Your mind blanks. You knew your boss was hosting some clients in the office—had even been working on a lot of grunt work to prepare for it—but no one had mentioned anything to you about any sandwiches. “I thought she was wining and dining them?”
Joy let out a mildly irritated huff. “No, they have to catch an early flight home, so the plan has changed to a working lunch. Weren’t you listening in Monday’s meeting?”
No, you hadn’t been listening, because you weren’t invited to the Monday’s meeting. So it looks like a plan had been made and tasks assigned to you…without anyone bothering to communicate that. Typical.
You close your eyes for a second, jaw working as you attempt to tamp down your ever-brewing frustration. If they intend on you ordering from the usual place, it may be too late to cater for delivery, which means you’ll probably be stuck figuring out how to transport multiple giant platters from a restaurant five blocks away.
“Do you mind forwarding me the request you sent? I must have missed it,” you respond neutrally, knowing full well the original email had never been sent to you. You stand to leave, the rest of your lunch break instantly soured by the revelation that you apparently have time-sensitive action items that are encroaching dangerous territory. “Just want to make sure I get the order correct.”
Joy nods, attention already back on Wendy and only half-listening. In the meantime, you’ll have to research alternatives, just in case.
While you’re lucky enough to find an acceptable last-minute catering option that will also, blessedly, deliver, that doesn’t mean you’re free to take a breather.
It’s now the end of the day, and one by one, you see everyone around you log out and head for the elevator. Even Joy, who leaves right on time, despite knowing just how many tasks your small team still needs to complete for the big meeting tomorrow. What’s left is mostly grunt work, and while you are undoubtedly a grunt, it’s been clear for a while now that Joy no longer sees herself to be included in that category. So even though having more hands on deck would speed things along considerably, she still gathers her purse and gives you a cheeky finger wave on her way out.
At some point, the cleaning lady makes her rounds, scooting past you with a murmured apology to empty your trash can, but eventually even she disappears. Hell, even the sun abandons you, the soft glow fading from all the windows and stranding you with the cold fluorescent lighting that only remains on in your part of the office, because the lights have motion detectors.
And so it’s just you, kneeling on the carpet and surrounded by a gazillion binders. Ensuring relevant reports and Powerpoint presentations are accurate and sending digital copies to your boss for her to have on-hand. Attempting to print physical copies and assemble them into binder portfolios your clients will be able to follow along with during the meeting.
Attempting, because Mabel is, of course, choosing now to live up to her bitchy reputation. She won’t print on the right-sized paper. She won’t collate. She won’t be cooperative at all, and you’re too exhausted for this shit. Physically and mentally exhausted, trying your hardest to rein in the frustration that’s slowly expanding in your chest, crawling up your throat and triggering a familiar burning behind your eyes. It’s not fair.
An exasperated noise escapes you without thinking, a loud, guttural thing. None of this is fair.
“_____?”
Your head snaps over your shoulder in surprise, not at all expecting anyone else to still be in the building. It’s Jungkook, because of course it is. Brows knitted in confusion, a black leather jacket thrown over his marigold button-up for some reason. He’s standing near the doors that exit into the lobby, evidently about to begin his trek home before you unwittingly paused his endeavor.
“What are you still doing here?” he asks, but before you can even deign to answer, he’s already taken a few steps towards you and followed up with a clearly concerned, “Are you okay?”
You take a breath, struggling to calm the storm within you. None of this is his fault, nor his problem, and you should just force a smile on your face so he can be on his way and leave you to your self-pity. But you’re tired, so tired, and simply don’t have the capacity to pretend anymore. You swallow around the lump in your throat, and when you do speak, the thickness of your voice betrays the tears that you’re fighting to keep at bay. “No.”
This only seems to alarm him more. He’s standing next to you now, as close as he can get with the array of binders and papers you have scattered on the floor around you like a fortress not meant to keep anyone out, but rather, to keep you inside.
“What’s the matter?” he asks gently.
“Oh, nothing,” you snort derisively, blinking rapidly at the ceiling in an effort to try to stop the inevitable. “Nothing. It’s just well past 7pm and I’m still here in this godforsaken building attempting to print out and hole punch and assemble twenty copies of this presentation. I can’t even get the printer to do what I’m asking it to! And there’s no fucking reason I should still be here because the could have been done last week if my boss didn’t keep making nonsensical changes based solely on vibes. And tell me why there are six people on my team but no one thought to help me or take any sort of ownership of this at all—as per usual—or even buy me a fucking coffee for once! I haven’t eaten a proper meal all day but everybody just assumes they can go home because things will magically get done like they always do because they will! I will always make sure that they will! Every day it becomes increasingly clear that nobody in this fucking company gives a flying FUCK about me or my free time or my sanity—”
If he’s put off by your potty mouth, Jungkook certainly doesn’t show it. He just manages to catch your gaze from behind his glasses and simply replies, “I do.”
Your never-ending rant rapidly dissipates on your tongue, brain struggling to comprehend what he just said. “…What?”
“I care,” he repeats softly. “How can I help?”
The sincerity in his tone renders you mute, too stunned to do anything more than watch as Jungkook drops the backpack he’s had slung over a shoulder onto the floor, tossing his newly removed jacket on top of it without much thought. He’s unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling up his sleeves, the reemergence of an ink-covered forearm making your brain stutter even more. Now that there’s much less distance between you, you can more accurately make out the shape of a delicate tiger lily, the languid form of a snake.
Jungkook clears his throat, the noise snapping you out of your stupor and making you realize you were just staring at him in silence, for who knows how long. Dammit. “What do you need?” he tries again.
“Um, first we can start with Mabel,” you croak, mouth now embarrassingly dry. “No matter what I do, she refuses to collate.”
Jungkook shoots you a smile that softens his whole face. “Lucky for you, I’m the printer expert, remember? Don’t worry. We’ll get this fixed and be out of here in no time.”
He holds out a hand and you reflexively grab it, allowing him to guide you to your feet. Together, you make your way to the copy room, where Mabel has stubbornly been giving you hell all night. Jungkook gets right to work pushing buttons while you stand to the side, awkwardly shifting your weight a little from foot to foot.
“So why are you still here?” you ask, curiosity finally forcing you to voice the question that’s been looping in your mind since he first appeared. “It’s late.”
“It is,” he agrees, focus still on the printer. He kneels down, opening the paper tray. “There’s this huge system update that’s set to roll out next week. My whole team has been hunkering down and pulling late nights.”
Oh. That explains why you haven’t seen him around much since the barbecue. “That’s tough.”
“We’re finally almost done,” he shrugs. “And I’m clearly not the only one working overtime.”
You don’t say anything when he looks up at you pointedly, so he turns back to the printer, pulling a stack of paper out of one of the trays.
“I think this may be part of the problem. Someone put the wrong-sized paper in here. Or, at least, Mabel thinks it’s wrong. She’s confused.”
“Well, she can join the club,” you mutter, and he puffs out a laugh, shutting the drawer and pressing some more buttons.
“Come on, let’s try again.”
Something touches your elbow, and though it shocks through you like he electrocuted you, you have the good sense suppress any embarrassing reaction to what you quickly realize is just his hand. Instead, you let him guide you back to your desk, trying not to focus too intently on the heat of his skin on yours.
Jungkook waits for you to login to your computer, clicking around and changing some settings once you step back and allow him free rein. Then, you can hear a distant hum coming from the copier room, and you know immediately that he’s succeeded. Dutifully, he goes to check anyway, returning to you with a stack of perfectly collated paper.
“Thank god,” you groan. “Now let me just print fifty more of those so I can start organizing these binders.”
With the crisis averted and his job done, you fully expect him to gather his pile of stuff and hustle to the elevator before you can trap him into doing anything else. Instead, Jungkook goes to pick up the additional copies from the printer for you, and he actually gets down on the floor next to you to start putting everything together. He watches you assemble one binder for reference, but then he’s easily doing the same and doubling your completion speed.
And slowly, gradually, your nervous system calms. The two of you work like a well-oiled machine in what would be comfortable silence, if your brain wasn’t so loud. Now that you’re not actively panicking, a completely different feeling starts to seep into you—embarrassment. You can’t believe that Jungkook actually caught you on the cusp of a breakdown, during which you looked so pitiful, he felt morally obligated to stop what he was doing and help you.
“I’m sure you have somewhere to be,” you say after a while with a grimace. He’s way too nice and you’re way too pathetic. “I didn’t mean to ruin your night—I promise you don’t have to stay with me. Now that everything’s printed and organized, most of the work’s done. I should be out of here in no time.”
“Well, I promise you didn’t ruin anything. And with two of us, you can be out of here in less time than that.” He looks up with a soft smile from where he’s hole punching a stack of paper, the muffled ka-chunk of the device punctuating his point. “I don’t mind, _____. Really.”
“But I do,” you murmur, looking away. Unable to meet his eyes. “I really appreciate your help, but I feel bad taking up so much of your time.”
“Well, don’t. I didn’t really have plans tonight anyway, and I’ve been working so much that it’s probably better that I get in some socializing time.”
“Not that I’m very good company,” you snort derisively.
There’s a pause, one long enough that you wonder if he heard you. But then he’s moving a little closer to you, tipping slightly sideways to tap his shoulder against yours. Reflexively, you turn back to him, finding his eyes kind.
“We all have our off days, and that’s okay. But they’ll dull your shine if you let them. Don’t.” He bumps your shoulder again. “Besides, you and I have to stick together, remember? Or did you not really mean it when you told me that?”
You did tell him that, didn’t you? Months and months ago. You're surprised that he even remembers that.
There's an amused quirk to his lip, one that you can't help but feel yourself soften to, even as his focus turns back to the task at hand. And all at once, you feel yourself flooded with gratitude. You've been thankful for his help this whole time, of course, but now you almost sag with it, the relief at knowing someone is finally in your corner, the sudden sense of security and support visceral and a little overwhelming.
Before you fully realize what you're doing, it's you who leans closer, aiming to give a him a grateful kiss on the cheek. But your lips don't quite land on their intended target, because just before you succeed, Jungkook unconsciously senses your increasing proximity and reflexively turns his head back to you.
It's his lips yours coincidentally brush against, the accidental kiss timid due to his surprise and your chaste intentions. But the kiss is also soft, his lips plush and rather easily yielding to yours.
Quickly realizing your mistake, you pull back, eyes as big as saucers. You stare at him in stunned silence and he stares back, eyes all pupil.
A horrified apology is immediately crowding the back of your throat, but right before you set it free, Jungkook's Adam's apple bobs, an errant tongue absently swiping across his lips.
Huh. This isn’t exactly the reaction of someone repulsed by an unwanted kiss. He still hasn't said anything, but he hasn't moved away from you either. He's just watching you. Waiting.
...Waiting?
With caution but with clear intent, you lean back in, and to your surprise, he meets you halfway, noses bumping a little before he tilts his head and your lips slot perfectly together.
This kiss is immediately different from the last. Jungkook mindlessly drops he binder he's holding, body angling more solidly towards you so he can properly meet the rapidly rising intensity. Well, meet may be the wrong word, because he's the one whose hand quickly reaches up to cradle your chin, gentle pressure a silent request to for you to tilt your head a bit more. And when you comply with the change in angle, it's him who deepens the kiss, the slow lave of his tongue coaxing your lips to part, open and wet.
You pant hot into his mouth and he breathes you in, offering no resistance when you push even closer, hands wandering across his shoulders, fingers ghosting up the back of his neck before drifting to idly toy with the hair at his nape. He hums contentedly, not unlike a purring cat, and does it again when your tongue joins his in a slow glide.
You lose yourself in the sensation of it all, unable to notice anything beyond the heat that is rapidly building between you like fireworks ready to explode. Your head spins, swimming with endorphins and high off the smell of him. The taste.
A playful nibble of your lip unexpectedly has a rather desperate keen escaping your throat. You pause, making to pull back in your embarrassment, but the sound only seems to activate Jungkook, who follows you in your attempted retreat, mouth chasing yours in its reluctance to part. It's only when your back finally touches the floor that you realize he's slowly guided you there. You've been in a haze, too swept into the plot of the movie you've somehow found yourself in to do anything but be pulled along.
As naturally as breathing, your find your knees have parted, and Jungkook easily slips into the space you've created for him, almost trancelike. As if he doesn't even realize he's doing it, too focused on exploring the fever of your mouth. He's leaning most of his weight on the hands he has posted on either side of your head; even still, every single millimeter of you that does touch him is sparking like live wires, euphoric goosebumps rippling across your skin. You let out a shaky breath that fogs his glasses, but even that doesn't stop him, just makes him pull back from you just enough to be able to whip them off and toss them somewhere, wholly unconcerned.
Emboldened by this, you sling a leg over his hip, and he eagerly accepts your invitation, settling on you properly. You're covered in him now, pelvises properly flush, and now that he's caged you in, Jungkook takes the opportunity to glide his lips away from yours and trail across your jawline instead. You shiver, every atom of you buzzing at his touch, and his mouth continues its trek, sucking hot down the column of your throat with just enough pressure that you know color will bloom there later.
Your hips reflexively jump at his ministrations, your skirt riding further up your thighs, and the hard press of him against your panties has you swallowing down a moan. He freezes for a fraction of a second, but then his hips respond to the lure of yours with a more intentional roll. A contented sound rumbles in the back of his throat, tongue dipping to meander across your collarbone.
This is crazy. This is crazy. But you can't quite find it in yourself to care much as the two of you rut against each other on the office floor, your hand gliding up his back to root in the hair at his nape.
Your hips undulate restlessly, eager to meet the crest of his wave, and Jungkook matches your intensity, catching your earlobe between his teeth. Your shared grind is measured but deliberate, and even through his pants you can feel the hard shape of him pressing right against your aching core. A particularly pointed roll has Jungkook shuddering hot into the shell of your ear, and that is what finally tamps down the last of your restraint and triggers something much more primal.
Dizzy with want, your hands scrabble between you and aim for the button of his slacks, eager to be properly introduced to what’s underneath. But to your slow horror, Jungkook freezes at the touch, motionless for a few breathless seconds before he actually starts lifting off of you and pulling back. It’s only when he’s completely sat up and is staring at you that the full weight of what you’ve just done hits you like a freight train.
Holy shit. Holy shit.
You really were just dry humping. A coworker. And you were doing it on the premises of the place that pays your fucking bills! Making out, dry humping, and you were actively aiming to do much more if he hadn't stopped you.
What the fuck has gotten into you?
You scrabble upright, dizzy with the mortification rapidly seeping deep into your bones. Stupidly, you blink at him, paralyzed with embarrassment but unable to look away. A deer in headlights.
Jungkook stares right back, eyes dark and all pupil. Dazedly, you wonder if you look as fucked out as he does—there’s a smattering of red across his cheeks, and his hair has been thoroughly mussed by your own hands. A tongue dips out to swipe over kiss-swollen lips, stealing your attention away from the rapid rise and fall of his chest.
And suddenly, you’re able to kickstart into gear.
“I am so sorry,” you burst out, panic nearly choking you. “That was highly inappropriate and I seriously don’t know what came over me—”
It takes you a few moments to register that he’s moved back in, and that it’s the returned press of his lips that interrupts your babbling apology before it can properly catch its stride. You’re almost too afraid to respond in kind, as if you’ll somehow scare him away again, but the insistence in his kiss practically knocks the breath from your lungs. Patiently, he coaxes your rigid lips back pliant. And only when it’s clear you won’t try to run away does he lean back a second time, but only enough to see your eyes properly.
“No,” he murmurs, breath fanning hot over you. “That was very much appropriate.”
You’re not quite sure how to respond to that, too shell-shocked by this turn of events and actively battling your triggered fight or flight response. “Um. Then…then why did you…”
Jungkook’s eyes flutter closed, as if he’s gathering himself. “I want to,” he mumbles, seemingly to himself, but then he’s looking right at you again, gaze heavy with resolve. “It’s just…do you mind if I try something first?”
That throws you for a loop. Your jaw opens then shuts again while you contemplate his question, as well as your answer. “I mean, I guess? It depends on what it is.”
That you don't instantly reject him visibly unwinds a tension in his body that you only now realize was there. A rather feral look crosses his face, immediately inciting goosebumps to ripple across your skin in anticipation. But then the intensity of his expression dims, edged with something more contemplative. Jungkook gives you a pensive nod then stands, looking around curiously. “Hey, where does that viper sit?”
You blink, bewildered. “…The who?”
“The one who’s always with you at lunch.” He locks eyes with you, tongue poking through his cheek. “You know. The one who’s on your team but still had no second thoughts about leaving you here tonight by yourself.”
Joy. He’s talking about Joy.
The question makes you pause in suspicion, but you still hook a thumb towards the cubicle next to yours, on the other side of your shared wall. “There. Why?”
“No reason,” he says with a sly grin, holding out a hand to you. You take it without question and he easily helps you to your feet. But then before you can process it, he’s slid both hands around your waist and easily lifted you off the ground, already in route to the exact cubicle you called out. You yelp in surprise, your arms reflexively circling his neck—your legs, his middle—in your body’s scramble for balance. But Jungkook’s hold on you is secure, grip moving down to the back of your thighs instead, and now that your chests are once again flush, you can actually feel his chuckle. His amusement provokes yours, and you can’t help but giggle as he carries you over to Joy’s cube as easily as if you weigh nothing.
Clearly, his exercise routine is working out for him.
After using a hand to sweep some objects out of the way, Jungkook carefully sets you down on Joy’s desk, right next to her monitor. Your mirth only grows at the feeling of whatever printouts she left for later review crinkling under your weight, at the sight of displaced pens rolling off the edge and disappearing to the ether that is the floor.
Jungkook has set you down, but he doesn’t pull away, just leans down and recaptures your eager lips. He’s tall enough that he’s kind of hunching over to kiss you, neck really craned, but he doesn’t seem to care much about that, kissing you with the same ferocity as moments before, when the two of you were entangled on the carpet. And you can’t help but match his fervor, hands reaching to guide his slim hips even closer, into the widening gap you naturally create for him between your legs.
Time constricts and expands, an endless and meaningless concept. Because all that matters now is the tongue he slips past your lips to slide against yours, slowly, like he’s savoring the taste of you. All that matters is how fucking great he smells—like clean laundry and smoke and warm skin speckled with sweat—something you’ve always caught whiffs of, but now completely surrounds you, invading all your senses and sending your lust into overdrive.
“Is this what you wanted to try?” you pant hotly when your lips finally separate for a moment in your quest for air. “Defiling Joy’s desk?”
He’s leaning his forehead against yours while he also attempts to catch his breath, and he’s so close that it would be hard for you to miss his amused flash of teeth. “Sort of. I’d like to defile it more thoroughly, though. Starting with this.”
Jungkook leans in for one last kiss, one that starts at your mouth, moves to your neck, and to your surprise, continues down the line of your body. Over your collarbone, careful hands popping open a few buttons of your blouse so he can nestle more surely into the curve of your breasts, warm lips skating across eager skin. For a few moments, he actually nuzzles his face into your middle, a gesture you find rather sweet before he incites a shiver through your body by licking against your clothed navel. And before you can fully realize what’s happening, he’s slipped to his knees.
You look down at him in surprise, body still slotted between your legs, but this time more eye-level with the secret, needy part of you that has been thrumming excitedly with every beat of your heart. “What are you…”
“You’re always doing everything for everyone else,” comes his murmured reply. “Will you allow me to do something for you?”
Your brain is still so hazy from the spell of his mouth that it takes you a moment to recognize what’s happening. What he’s asking for. But when his large palms are hot against the naked skin of your thighs, gentle pressure urging them to part even more, it all hits you like a truck. Your eyes dart around, paranoid. “Jungkook,” you hiss. “…Here?”
“They’re too cheap to put cameras anywhere other than the lobby.” He turns his head, lips pressing reassurance into the side of your knee. “And no one’s here.” His reminder as gentle as the kisses he continues to adorn you with. “Just you.” Kiss. “And me.”
He’s right, you know. No one else is here to witness the series of bad decisions you’ve just made—to witness the ones you’re still seriously considering.
Still, you hesitate.
Jungkook’s staring intently at you, doe-eyed and cherry-lipped and deceptively innocent despite what he’s requesting of you. “Please?” he asks again, oh-so-sweetly. Reverently prostrating before your altar, praying for the blessing of an ambivalent goddess. You. “I just…I really want to. Ever since that day, I can’t stop thinking about it and I—please?”
Your brows furrow as you try to make sense of what he’s saying, still scrambling to keep up with this current turn of events. What day? Your mind whirrs, jumping around before finally settling on an embarrassing memory you’ve willed yourself to forget.
Lunch, where Wendy somehow got you to admit you’ve never gotten head, and Jungkook, purportedly oblivious, too busy on his phone to ever pay your table any attention.
…Except from what he’s saying right now, he had heard every word. Heard, and filed it away for safekeeping, only revealing to you now, when he can possibly do something about it.
Absently, your tongue dips out to swipe across your lips, and Jungkook’s attention visibly strays towards the action, thumbs rubbing slow circles into your thighs and sending electricity straight to your core. God, do you want to say yes. Even though you’ve never done this before, your inexperience is not at all the reason for your reluctance. It’s the optics. You’re at work.
Your head tilts as you try to accurately take stock of the situation. You’re at work. But technically, you should have clocked out hours ago. Technically, this job has been stealing a lot of time that should have been yours to choose what to do with. Case in point—you’re the only person on your team still within a five-mile radius of this godforsaken building. Because everyone else deserted you without a second thought, designating you to be the one who struggles to print presentations for a meeting that has been on the calendar for literal months.
But.
While it’s easy to assume they forced this fate upon you, Fate is not one easily compelled to do another’s bidding. And, trapped in the gaze of the sweet man still patiently awaiting permission to ruin you, you can’t help but wonder if this has been Her plan all along.
For months you’ve been doing everything for everyone else, so unhappy and stressed that each day in this place only wound you tighter and tighter. So…what if you finally just let yourself snap? Did what you wanted for once? Stopped following the rules that nobody else ever seemed to and just let go?
You exhale. Fuck it.
“Okay.”
Jungkook grins, boyishly innocuous at first, but rapidly morphing into something much more devilish as you watch. He turns to kiss your knee again, and you startle a little at the action, newly on edge. “Don’t be nervous,” he says, still holding your gaze. Making sure you can see his resolve. “I got you.”
“Okay,” you say again, but that’s easier said than done, especially when he takes the opportunity to gently push your knees even further apart. Naturally, your skirt rides further up, and you can’t help the apprehension that washes over you at your increasing lack of modesty. Still, you hold true to your word, aggressively tamping down the urge to scramble off the desk and pretend this all never happened. But though you brace yourself for what comes next…
Jungkook doesn’t move.
Long moments pass before you can’t help but say something. “Are you just gonna look?” Because that’s all he seems to be doing, laser-focused on the juncture of your thighs.
He visibly stirs at the sound of your voice, but still doesn’t do much more than tsk at you. “Don’t rush me,” comes his light reprimand, eyes still locked on what you’re sure at this point is a growing dark spot on your panties. “I don’t half-ass things and I definitely won’t rush this. No one’s here, so just relax and enjoy the ride.”
Your jittery nerves have you reflexively mouthy, but your retort swiftly dies on your tongue when his hand finally moves further up your skirt—further inward—and two fingers pointedly press right against that dark spot and glide over your clothed lips. You gasp, fighting against the urge to snap your legs shut when he slowly circles your clit and sends sparks dancing down your legs.
“Better?” he murmurs.
“Much,” you squeak.
“Good,” he says, eyebrows knitted in thought as he circles and circles. Your thighs twitch, and he leans forward like he can’t help himself, nose pressing solidly against you with a long, audible inhale.
A fascinated oh falls from your lips, heartbeat accelerating excitedly in your ears, but Jungkook only responds by nestling further against your pussy, tracing the length of your lips with a slow, wet swipe of his tongue through the fabric. He breathes hot against your clit and you inadvertently buck at the stimulation, only inciting the wicked curl of his lips. He looks up at you darkly through the curtain of his bangs, and something unexpected and primal simmers beneath your skin.
“Can I have these?” he asks huskily, lightly snapping the elastic of your panties against your skin.
You clear your throat, suddenly wishing you had the foresight to put on something more interesting today than your unassuming cotton undies. “Have as in you won’t give them back?”
He lets out an amused puff of air, tilts his head. “I haven’t decided yet.”
You nod your assent. You’re now impossibly invested in where he plans to take this, and it’s not like you don’t have more pairs at home. “Knock yourself out.”
Immediately, his hands are up your skirt. They’re big, but they’re also gentle, caressing your thighs and even taking a slight detour to the meat of your ass before continuing their mission to the band of your underwear. When he starts to pull, you help him, shifting your weight so he can slip the fabric over your hips and down your legs.
Jungkook’s Adam’s apple dips when his eyes are finally able to feast on you without a barrier. “So fucking hot,” he mutters, almost to himself, and then without further warning, his mouth seals around your sex.
You whimper in surprise, not at all used to the sensation of someone kissing you there. And kiss you he does, carefully at first, judging your reaction. But when you do nothing but grip the edge of the desk, biting your lip in an attempt to stifle the rather desperate sounds crawling up your throat, he swiftly devolves into kissing you with the same passion as he had the lips on your face. His tongue laps at you with sure, even strokes, dragging across the seam of you and then through it, making sure to slide along your clit on every upstroke.
Your breath quickens, jaw falling slack. You weren’t sure what you imagined oral sex to be like before this, but you never expected how easily your body submits to his ministrations. Almost without you realizing it, your thighs part even more, hips automatically canting down to meet his eager mouth. A hand reaches for him, fingers winding through his hair and rooting there, and Jungkook hums in approval, his own hands wrapping securely around your thighs, your ass. His fingers sinking into the yielding softness of you, gently holding you steady against his face while you start to gyrate and moan.
God, does he look good down there. He’s always looked good, even before you knew what he was hiding behind those shy smiles and nerdy glasses, but something about the sight of him, jaw working as he sucks on you, lashes fluttering in pleasure in his quest to please you—
Without warning, he detaches with an audible pop, and a disgruntled sound reflexively leaves you. Breathless, you start to ask him why he stopped, but the words die on your tongue when you realize he’s staring at you again. That he pulled back for a moment just so he can get a good look at the mess he’s making of you. So he can properly see how your pussy aches and drools for him.
“Good?” he asks, voice deep and thick.
“So fucking good,” you sigh. What you know he wants to hear, but also 1000% the truth. You’re starting to understand what Wendy has been blathering about, but is it always like this? Or is it Jungkook in particular who is making you so unbelievably aroused? Is your rapidly snowballing crush on him that strong, or does pussy eating simply rank high on his skillset?
As if he can hear your thoughts, Jungkook moves to slip a finger into you, and you can’t help but moan when he breaches you, the digit sliding in so easily that he quickly adds another, thumb pressing surely into your clit as he starts a slow drag in and out.
“Shit,” you shudder, eyes rolling back into your head. Hips sliding further off the desk, reflexively seeking the delicious stimulation. One of your hands scrabbles across the desk, unconsciously trying to root you, and you’re much too preoccupied with how good he’s making you feel to notice when you accidentally knock over a mug full of pens. A stapler clanks to the ground. “Fuck.”
“Look, baby,” he breathes, moaning along with you when the pet name immediately makes your pussy flutter. “Look.”
At his encouragement, you do. You watch the flex of his tattooed arm as his fingers continue to disappear within you, a lewd squelch coinciding with his movements. You watch as he adds another finger, the additional stretch immediately noticeable but even more delicious. You watch him watch you, eyes all pupil, lips swollen and slick with your desire.
“More,” you whine, frenzied and greedy. And Jungkook immediately heeds your call, leaning back in. He sucks on your clit with three fingers sunk in you, expertly crooked towards your pelvic bone, and you jolt, accidentally knocking something else off the desk. Neither of you pays the resulting clattering any attention, too wrapped up in the way you writhe at his ministrations. He hums in approval, the vibrations only intensifying your ecstasy. He flattens his tongue as your hips desperately circle, letting you control the stimulation. And when it’s clear you still need more, he changes tactics and rapidly laps at you instead, as if you’re a melting ice cream cone, while he beckons, beckons.
Your blood is volcanic, hot pressure bubbling beneath the prison of your skin, building and building within your core. The higher he takes you, the more the grip you have on his hair unintentionally tightens, but that only seems to urge him on, locking eyes with you as the thrust of his fingers turns harder and more calculated. Giving you no other choice but to finally erupt.
You cum with a loud groan, gasping through it while your cunt rhythmically clamps down on his digits, hard. Jungkook talks you through it, murmuring encouraging words your buzzing brain has trouble deciphering because his hand still doesn’t stop, pounding right into your g-spot and making your eyes cross and toes curl with the force of it. And when you finally can’t take anymore, jerking with oversensitivity, you grab him by the wrist in a wordless plea for mercy.
And Jungkook grants it. You can tell that he wants to play with you more—wants to guide you over and over to the precipice just see the look on your face when he shoves you off—but ever the gentleman, he reins in his enthusiasm and obediently slips his fingers out of you. He takes a few seconds to admire his handiwork, eyes shining with in reverence as he marvels in the dripping, throbbing, panting aftermath that is you.
“Wow,” you say, still dizzy with endorphins. Never in a million years did you think it would feel like that.
“Yeah,” he agrees, voice thick. “Wow.” He lifts his hand, remnants of you visibly slicking his fingers and webbing between the digits, and without a second thought, sticks them in his mouth and sucks. The resulting slurping of his errant tongue is nothing short of obscene, but your cunt flutters again anyway, interest clear despite being thoroughly satisfied only moments before. And when line of your essence starts to drip down your thigh, Jungkook makes sure to lean in and catch it with his tongue.
You shiver with the feeling of him on you again, mouth hot and wet, thighs still trembling. He’s taking his time, tongue dragging a slow path back up to the source, determined to feast upon the rewards of his efforts. But you can’t take it anymore. God, he’s so hot. He’s so fucking hot and you want him so fucking bad.
You need him. Biblically.
Near delirious, you reach for him, hands scrabbling across his shoulders, fingers trailing the back of his neck and guiding him to stand. Arms circling his waist and pulling him closer to you—close, close—Jungkook easily slotting into spread of your thighs.
He follows your unspoken commands easily and without question, looking down at you with a rather pleased smile that crinkles his eyes in the corners. Determined to steal the breath from his lungs, just as he just did to you, you lean in to lick that smile pliant and open. There’s a curious taste on his tongue that it doesn’t take long to deduce is you, and that’s only even more of an aphrodisiac, revving you up further.
Your hands continue to roam, sliding down a little to grope his backside, startling a laugh out of him. But when your fingers tease the waistband of his slacks, his delight visibly shutters away into something else entirely.
“You don’t have to do that,” he breathes, even as he reflexively bucks into the hand you’re using to palm him over his pants. “This was about you.”
“Then let it be about me,” you counter, a mischievous smile curling your lips. Even through his pants you can tell he's hard. That he wants this just as badly as you do. Still, when he gasps out a wait, you obediently stop your ministrations and move to take your hand back.
He doesn't let you get far, lacing his fingers through yours and visibly considering his next words for a few moments before settling on, “What do you need?”
It’s a simple enough question, but you can't help but be immediately reminded of him saying these exact words to you, a little over an hour ago. Now, however, they sit heavy on his tongue, heady and syrupy in hushed invitations.
The revelation hits you all at once, heart pounding excitedly in your ears.
You need only ask. You’ve only ever needed to ask.
And since all caution was thrown to the wind the moment you agreed to let him suck your soul out through your pussy...
“You said you’ve been thinking about me? Well, I’ve been thinking about you too. For a while, even though I’ve been trying not to.”
You’ve had his attention this whole time, but the way Jungkook's regarding you now, now that you’ve said that? He's hanging onto every word, so hyper-focused that it would unnerve you if this wasn’t exactly what you were looking for.
“So…” Adrenaline has your fingers restless against his, but you still dive headfirst. “What I need is for you to fuck me and finish what you started.”
A beat. One where he holds your gaze, the space between you so electrified that you’re surprised you don’t see sparks. But then he’s on you again, mouth meeting yours in a frenzied clash of lips and teeth, and this time he doesn’t stop you when your hands scrabble for his fly.
Jungkook wastes no time, smoothing his hands up your legs and pushing your skirt out of the way. He lets out a shuddered breath when you stroke him through his underwear, when you reach down the waistband and grip him properly.
He’s warm and thick in your hand, and the thought of him finally in your guts damn near has you vibrating. Just like you thought before, he’s already nice and hard, but you still pump him a few times just to revel in the proof of what you’ve done to him. Velvet over stone.
And despite having all the time in the world when the foreplay is for you, Jungkook doesn’t seem to have any patience for himself. You’re only able to enjoy the weight of him in your grip for a few passes before he’s surging into action. Strategically, he grabs you by the knees and lifts, maneuvering your legs into the crooks of his elbows. The move opens you up to him further and forces you more horizontal, leaning back on your forearms, nearly pressed against the cubicle wall.
The way he ate you out moments before ensured you’d be primed for him, your pussy soft and slick and just begging to be filled. When he finally lines himself up and begins the slow press in, your jaw immediately falls open, tongue going lax at the intense pleasure. “Oh my god,” you manage to whine, eyes threatening to roll shut.
The unhurried way he’s sinking into you is likely in effort not to unintentionally hurt you. Because after everything else, why not add another thing to the ever growing list of surprises you’re learning about your unassuming coworker—not only has he been tatted and muscular this whole time, but his dick is also fucking huge. Without even realizing it, you’ve stopped breathing, the pressure of him nudging your walls apart too much stimulation for your body to continue even subconscious functioning.
As if he can tell your brain is actively short-circuiting, Jungkook’s hands circle your thighs, thumbs kneading the flesh in mild distraction for when he finally bottoms out. It’s only now that you can properly notice the effect you’re having on him—hair starting to stick to his forehead from perspiration, teeth grit as he struggles to stay still for you. But you don’t want him to be still.
“Fuck me,” you whimper, wiggling in your impatience and making him suck in a breath. “Please. Give it to me.”
The resulting roll of his hips has him swearing and you seeing stars. “Fuck. You can have whatever you want,” he says, already making good on his promise with a slow grid. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll give you whatever you want.”
It’s good, so good, especially because Jungkook uses his grip on your thighs as leverage to ramp up his thrusts, easily maneuvering you over his cock in a way that has your toes curling. By the time he’s really fucking you—jaw set, brows furrowed in concentration—you’re crosseyed and mewling incoherently. You should be embarrassed by the sounds he’s pounding out of you, but you’re so focused on the overwhelming pleasure that you can’t find it in yourself to care very much.
Chasing the high you already feel him leading you towards, you lift one of your legs to change the angle, and he catches on immediately, helping guide your ankle to hook over his shoulder with a distracted kiss against the bone. And it’s deeper this way, the angle ensuring he brushes against your spongy nerves with every stroke, only making you spiral faster.
He notices, of course. Notices how quickly he’s taking you to your end and revels in it, sliding a hand inward and he thumbing your clit, fast and hard.
You jolt at the extra stimulation, gasping and overwhelmed. “Oh my goddd…”
“Come on,” he croons, his dulcet tone at odds with the wickedness of his hand. His dick. “Don’t you want to cum for me?”
“I…” you choke out, struggling to form any sort of coherent thought as you feel everything get tighter. “I…”
You see his lips moving as he presumably says something else. But you can’t understand anything other than your own moaning when your pussy finally locks down. This orgasm is somehow more intense than the last one, your thighs rippling with the force of it, your hands desperately scrabbling over the desk in an effort to find something to ground you.
And Jungkook fucks you through it, still talking, and it’s only when the whooshing in your ears starts to subside that you can finally decipher what he’s saying in between his own moaning. “There you go. Being so good for me. So good.”
Your only reply is your gasping breath as your orgasm slowly fades, replaced with oversensitivity. But you don’t want him to stop. You don’t want this to stop, reveling in the feel of him on you, in you. And Jungkook doesn’t, instead sliding your leg off his shoulder so he can grab you by the waist with both hands and properly yank you forward, moving you over his cock to his liking.
The desk creaks with your effort, a rhythmic cacophony with the harsh smacking of his balls against your ass. You mewl, needing him closer still, and curl your legs around his hips, locking your ankles. He’s now trapped against you, but he groans like that’s exactly what he wanted, both hands gliding up the length of your body to grasp the back of your neck instead, giving him even better leverage to plunge into you, deep, deep. He leans down and rests his forehead against yours, licks into your panting mouth.
At this point, his thrusts are turning manic, but you’re meeting every one of them, deliriously following him in his descent into madness. But when he catches your lower lip with his teeth, your breath hollows, and then, quicker than you can register it’s happening, you cum again, spasming around him with a long, high-pitched whine.
Jungkook lets you ride it out, but this time, his thrusts slow while you thrash. And it’s not until your soul finally floats back into your body that you realize he’s already pulled out of you and is bucking into his own fist instead.
You almost took him over the edge with you, you realize. Though he clearly has incredible stamina, you have finally brought him to his limit, and everything inside you glows at the knowledge that he’s here, roughly pumping himself, moans falling freely from his lips because of you.
Entranced, you reach for him, delighting in the whimper he lets out when your fingers wrap around his base. His own hand immediately falls to grip the edge of the desk instead, and you glide your fist up, finding his cock sticky with your juices. Jungkook just rests his head in the crook of your neck and lets you jack him off, whining through it when you match his previously punishing pace. And it doesn’t take long before he finally, finally splashes hot over your hand. Against your thigh.
Your hand slows, twisting your wrist and milking him for every drop. Intent on extending his pleasure, just like he made sure to do for you. And you only stop when he flinches away from your touch, twitchy and shivering as he leans against you.
Reluctantly, you let go. The two of you share the same balmy breath, struggling to calm your racing hearts. And when Jungkook finally backs away from you, unhurried in the way he gathers himself back into his slacks, there is a wildly satisfied grin on his face.
You’re satisfied too, though you try to have some sense of propriety and use a tissue from the box next to Joy’s monitor to wipe off the sticky evidence of his pleasure. Throwing away the evidence, you hop off the desk, locating your long-discarded panties and slipping them back on, smoothing down your skirt.
“So,” you tease lightly. Your head swims a little with the knowledge of what you just did, but you’re surprised to realize you feel zero guilt about it. “Is your plan to stick it to everyone who’s wronged me? If so, we should do it on Mabel next. That’ll show her.”
Jungkook laughs, a giddy, giggly thing. He’s now doing his best to pick up and replace everything that fell from Joy’s desk during your romp. “Nah, I could never disrespect her like that. That ol’ girl’s been such a great wingman these past few months.”
That’s a rather curious statement to make. You frown a little, shoot him an inquisitive sound.
“You always call me when Mabel’s not working,” he shrugs. “So when I wanted to see you, she was nice enough help.”
You can’t help it—a smile creeps across your face, equally bashful and flattered. He wanted to see you! For months, by his open admission. “And the printer knew exactly when you wanted to see me?" you joke. “Sounds like dark magic to me.”
Jungkook’s valiantly trying to straighten and smooth out some of the papers the two of you disturbed. “Deleted some print jobs,” he replies offhandedly, clearly distracted by the task at hand.
Record scratch.
There’s an extended silence as your brain shuffles through different iterations of his sentence, trying to decipher exactly he meant by that. Because there's no way he just admitted to what you think he just did. “Did…did you just say you've been deleting my print jobs?” you ask incredulously. Because there’s no way.
There’s no way, yet at your words, Jungkook immediately stiffens. His lips part, but he doesn't defend himself. Doesn't say anything at all—just drops the pen he’s holding and stares at you with wide eyes.
Holy shit. Holy shit. He really has been doing it! He obviously hadn't meant to tell you that, but the relaxation of afterglow has clearly removed the filter between his brain and his mouth.
The weight of his revelation hits you, seemingly happenstance events connecting in your mind and starting to fall into place. All the hassle and irritation that stupid printer has been giving you, and it turns out Mabel has been working just fine?!
“Please don't be mad,” he pleads, finally finding his voice.
“Are you seriously saying that all this time—”
“No! No, I only did it a few times,” he sheepishly rushes to correct you. “And I promise, I haven’t done it in weeks.”
“Seriously?”
“I just...wanted an excuse to talk to you!”
“Jungkook, you literally talk to me all the time!”
“About work! Not—” he averts his eyes, lets out an irritated breath. “It’s just. I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to ask you out.”
You blink, gaping slightly as your whirring mind tries to process what he’s just told you. “Ask me…out?”
“I didn’t mean to do…all this.” He waves a hand over the mess the two of you are still cleaning up, clearly embarrassed. “I mean, at least not before buying you dinner first.”
Moments pass as you stare at him in stunned, disbelieving silence. Then, like a volcano erupting, laughter bursts from you, loud and sudden. Because what the fuck? You can’t believe all of this is actually happening to you. In real life. “You jackass,” you cackle. “Do you have any idea how much grief that printer has been giving me? I’m over here stressed and you’ve been gaslighting me and doing it on purpose?”
“Just a few times,” he repeats, visibly confused by the juxtaposition of the mirth in your voice and the actual words you’re saying.
“And that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still a jackass,” you laugh. “But…” You clear your throat, suddenly somehow shy, despite everything that has occurred and been said. “…I suppose you can still take me out to dinner.”
“Yeah?” His lips stretch into a slow, hopeful smile.
“Yeah. Now, if you want. I think we’re pretty much done here.” You smile back, quickly taking stock of the binders still scattered across the floor. Most of them are completed, but whatever else you need to do can be done tomorrow morning. “Besides, I seem to have worked up an appetite.”
Jungkook looks nothing short of smug, but you suppose you can’t fault him that. “Well then,” he practically purrs, “Let’s hurry up and feed you.”
Moving in comfortable silence, the two of you finish putting everything you’ve disturbed back in their original spots, gathering the last of the binders and stacking them neatly on your desk. You reach for your purse while Jungkook goes to collect his hastily discarded belongings.
“So,” you start. “Where are you taking me? It’s kind of late.” This late on a weeknight, kitchens would be shutting down soon.
He pauses in sliding his leather jacket back on, frowning a little as he realizes you’re right. “Shit,” he mutters. “I wanted to take you somewhere nice.”
“You can,” you say with an unbothered wave of your hand. “That can be next time. Let’s just find something quick now.”
“So you’re saying I get a second date?” he grins.
Oh. That is what you just implied, isn’t it? You would be embarrassed by how forward you were being if Jungkook wasn’t visibly delighted by it. Wow, he really does like you. And since the feeling is mutual, you just look away coyly and say, “If you play your cards right.”
Jungkook hoists his backpack over a shoulder, and it’s only then that you see what else he happened to be carrying in his hands when he dropped everything for you. A helmet.
You gesture towards the object with a curious incline of your head. “What’s that for?”
“My bike,” comes his easy answer, but that’s not the kind of helmet that one wears for bicycle rides. No, this one is made for something much faster.
Now that you think about it, you’ve seen the motorcycle in the parking lot before—you’ve just never really given it a second thought. And now you can’t stop thinking about it, because the unassuming vehicle you’ve often passed on your way into the building has been Jungkook’s the whole time. Your mind is blown. How many more times is he going to surprise you tonight?
“…Do you always drive a motorcycle?” you ask incredulously.
“Depends on the day,” he shrugs with grin. “Sometimes I take the bus, but I like to ride my bike when the weather’s nice.” His eyes are bright with pride, visibly happy to have impressed you.
Your mouth opens and closes, thoughts racing so fast your tongue struggles to hold onto any of them. Before you realize you’re doing it, you blurt, “Alright. Are you even real?”
Jungkook blinks owlishly at you, clearly not expecting that question. “What?”
“I thought I’ve known you for months. But was any of that real?” you repeat. “Hell, do you even need glasses?”
“Of course,” he rushes to say. “It’s all me. I can just be a little shy, is all.” Wow, he actually said shy with a straight face, as if he didn’t just finish ravaging you over multiple surfaces. “And I like to be professional, so this place doesn’t get to have all facets of me. I know you can relate.”
You can. Your constant struggle to not complain? To be professional and work hard and hope you’ll be rewarded for your efforts? Obviously that’s a reason why the two of you ended up in this situation in the first place.
He ducks his head a little, tapping the glasses he picked up off the floor in petition for their validity. “And these really are prescription. I mean, I can mostly see without them, but since I stare at computer screens all day, it’s less strain on my eyes.”
“Oh,” you say quietly, feeling silly to have even asked. But who knew the quiet IT guy who kept mostly to himself was also this? Buff and tatted with a wicked tongue that you’re now intimately acquainted with.
Shyly, he holds his helmet out to you. He hesitates before speaking again, almost like he’s afraid of spooking you. “Wanna go for a ride?” And from the way color lightly blooms across his cheeks, you get the sense that he’s offering you more than just protective gear.
You take it without second thought.
The next day you and Jungkook get off the elevator together, a respectable distance between you, but arms still brushing too often to be casual. When you come to the hallway that will force you in separate directions, you pause.
“Have a good day,” you say. Jungkook grins, the delighted brightness of it baring too much teeth and crinkling his eyes in the corners.
“You too,” he winks. “Let me know if Mabel gives you any more issues.”
You snort at his brazenness, biting down a smile as you head to your cubicle. Your whole body buzzes, glowing from inside out.
You’re technically right on time, but you’ve definitely arrived later than usual, and that’s obvious when you head over to your department and find Joy already there waiting for you. She frowns as you approach, no doubt clocking your empty hands and wondering how she’s going to make it through the morning without her expected syrupy caffeine fix.
To her credit, she doesn’t call you out on it, but you don’t really care if she does. You’re done playing errand boy. From now on, everyone else will have to stop before work and get their own shit, if they want it so bad.
Because it’s all so clear to you now. You’re here, and you’re going to do your best, but you’re not going to let this place wear you down to jaded slivers. You’re going to work hard and learn all that you can, but you refuse to be anyone’s lapdog.
They will respect you. And your value will be recognized and rewarded—or you’ll simply find somewhere else where it will.
Joy must sense your new resolve, because she simply hovers by your desk and chirps, “Good morning.”
“Morning.”
“Did you have a good night?”
Your lips quirk. “You could say that. What about you?”
“Eh, it was okay,” she sighs. “Met a guy for dinner, but I don’t think that’s going anywhere.”
So while you were stuck here last night, having a grade-A meltdown, she was on a date. That tracks.
Joy chatters on while you put your things away, not seeming to notice or care that you’re not particularly interested in what she’s saying. And while this would normally irritate the living shit out of you, today, it doesn’t.
Today, your eyes can’t help but glaze over as your mind drifts back to how your night went. Today, you just hum agreeably until she gets bored with you and decides to go back to her own cubicle.
And when you hear her ask over the wall if you’ve seen her stapler, you just smile and smile.
summary: You and Jungkook had been forced to marry each other because of your parents wealth and their status in society. All this time you always wanted to make your parents proud. Trying your best to make this marriage work ... but little did you know that Jungkook hid something from you. Something which could destroy him or you.
" maybe its because of your eyes "
tags: heavy smut; murder; weapons; kidnapping; cheating; affairs; violence; slow burn; drama; angst; cursing; explicit language; tragedy; romance; fluff; character deaths; abuse; toxic relationships; su!c!de; scars; mentions of self-harm; pregnancy.
rating:18-20+ [ Minors DNI ] This fanfiction tackles many heavy TW topics. Please keep that in mind. I dont want any minor to interact. If you do, do it at your own risk. Im not responsible for your actions.
chapters: ch.6 -
authors note: slowly but surely we are reaching the end of season one! wohoo!! just a quick reminder. after the end of season one there will be a short break. i just noticed how cringe season 2 was and i decided to rewrite the whole next season. so updates will come much more slower than now. nontheless, still keep enjoying season 1 !
TW: none i think?
It started to get weird. You noticed that something was clearly wrong in this mansion since the day Jungkook saw you with Jimin. No matter how hard you looked for Jimin he wasn't to be found during the day. Sometimes you could catch a glimpse of him after dinner but that wasnt enough for you. You needed to talk with him. Quickly. The only option to find out about the current situation was to ask Taehyung. It didnt took you long to find him. Like usual he was hanging around outside in the gardens with the stray cats. Watching him from afar he didnt looked like a spy as he smiled at the cats. Actually, Tae looked like a soft puppy. A puppy who couldnt harm anyone in this World. Slowly you walked closer to him not wanting to startle Tae you placed a hand on his shoulder. But of course he still jumped a bit before turning around to you
"Y/N?! What are you doing here?" Sadly that also startled the cats which ran away in various direction. Suddenly you started to feel bad because of that
"I- Can i ask you something?"
"Of course, what is it?"
"You see, and im sure i will regret asking it because of Jungkook, but do you have any idea where Jimin is? I cant find him for days now"
Taehyung raised an eyebrow before crossing his arms in front of his chest. By now the whole mansion knew what happened in the office and afterwards with Jimin. Some of Jungkook's man gave you disgusted looks whenever you passed by them.
"I could tell you where he is but Jeon wouldnt be so happy about it"
"I promise, i wont tell him if he asks me or finds out about it. I will keep my mouth shut" Tae still doubted your words. Who would believe a cheater? Seeing how desperate you were he sighed and let his arms fall to his sides
"Okay fine. But promise me to not betray me when he asks"
"Yes i promise!"
"Alright. Okay, you see somehow it angered Jeon. I never saw him that angry before. I mean i always thought he doesnt care about you"
"He is angry?" for you it didnt made sense. He cheated first. He told you that you were only a toy but suddenly, he was mad?
"Dont ask me. I was too scared to ask myself. So i have no idea. Now back to Jimin. I was able to catch him a few days ago. He, well, was fuming with anger too"
"What did he told you?"
"Apparently Jeon gave him a bunch of work to do. More than usual. He said that Jeon would do that on Purpose. So Jimin wont be able to see you anymore" to you that made sense. If Jungkook was really mad, it was only natural to keep the rival away.
"Thank you Taehyung, really"
"Its no big deal. You two seem close so, its only fair to tell you" after saying goodbye you went back into the mansion. Tae could be nice sometimes if he really wanted to. You wished he would act like this more often.
Back inside you gave your best effort to stay away from Jungkook's man. The looks they gave you dig deep into your skin. While walking down the hallway to the guestrooms someone grabbed you by your wrist. Spinning you around you were met with Jungkook's eyes. To your suprise no anger was seen in them it was something else. An emotion you never saw in them. His eyes were soft as he looked at you. Jungkook's lips parted for a second before he closed them again.
"Kook, whats wrong? Did something happen?" suddenly he let go of your wrist just to fix his posture in front of you. The softness in his eyes was gone too
"No, no. Everything is okay. I just wanted to check if, well you know, was with you"
"As you can see, im by myself" looking around he made sure that you were telling the truth.
For some reason, Jungkook looked pretty nervous; wondering if everything was okay with him you placed one of your hands against his cheeks. Suddenly his whole body tensed
"What-?" normally he would had pushed anyone else away, even you. but not now. not in this moment.
To you Jungkook looked fine, there werent any wounds on his face, only the little scar on his cheek. You remembered all the nights were you placed soft kisses against it. Adoring it while Jungkook told you over and over again that its ugly. For you it wasnt. It belonged to him. With your thumb you rubbed over the little scar on his skin. To your suprise Jungkook placed one hand on your hips pulling you closer against his body. Now even your second hand found its way on the other side of his cheek. Its been months since you properly touched him outside of the bedroom. Patiently Jungkook let you examine his face as he slightly rubbed with his thumb over your hips
"Y/N.."
"Mh?" lifting your head up you noticed, for the first time, how close his face was.
There it was again, the softness in his eyes as he looked fondly at you. Something changed within Jungkook the last couple of days. You didnt mind. Especially not as he leaned his face closer to yours. You could feel Jungkook's breath against your lips. The grip on your hips became stronger as you leaned closer automatically. Outside of your shared bedroom, Jungkook had never kissed you before. Kisses, touching each other and showing affection was only allowed behind closed doors. Now Jungkook really wanted to show you affection in a hallway were everyone could see you two. For the first time. Did he cared for you? Did Tae told you the truth?
Slowly you wrapped both of your arms around his neck as your eyes slowly closed. Feeling the sensation of his bottom lip against yours made you shiver in response. Anticipating the kiss you waited patiently but a sudden voice called out to him
"Yo! Jeon did you saw..- Oh! uh ... sorry!" Jungkook pushed you away from him which made you stumble in suprise.
Blinking with your eyes you looked over Jungkooks shoulder. it was Taehyung. He stood there with his dumb grin on his face as he crept closer to you two
"Oho, did you two finally made up with each other?" wiggling with both of his eyebrows he slapped Jungkook's shoulder.
"We- we just talked, right Y/N?" Jungkook's face became serious
"Oh, Oh! Yes, yes. we just talked"
"That looked more than only talking to me guys." Thats another reason why you didnt liked Tae, he always had the worst timing with things.
Before he could continue to ask questions Jungkook placed an arm around Tae's shoulders dragging him down the hallway back to his office. Forgetting about you in the process. With the fingertip of your index finger, you traced along your bottom lip. You were still able to feel the sensation from earlier. Inside your chest, your heart started to race. Wait, it raced? For Jungkook? No way. It never did that before. Shaking your head, you slapped your cheeks with both of your hands. Jungkook was an asshole, he wasnt nice nor a gentleman. But right now you wanted to run after him, you wanted to tell him. You wanted him to know about your little secret which you kept hidden since a few days. But now Taehyung was with him, so that needed to wait. Behind the corner was Jimin. He heard everything, saw everything and maybe he was the one who sent Taehyung. Forming his hand into a fist he dissapeared before you could spot him running back to finish the work in his office.
The way back into the garden you felt better. The heavy weight in your chest dissapeared. On the way to your favourite spot in the gardne you spaced out not waching your step you stumbled over one of he cats. A yelp escaped your lips shutting your eyes hoping that the impact of the ground against your body wouldnt be too painful. But before your body could hit the ground, you felt an arm wrapping around your back. That arm pulled you back on your feet
"Are you okay?" slowly you opened your eyes again.
Right in front of you was the face of a young man. His hair was black and tied into a half ponytail. Nodding a bit you assured him that you werent hurt only to be met with a gummy smile from his side. Slowly he stranger let go of your back
"Im glad, that would had ended painful"
"Thank you. I was a bit distracted. I should be more careful"
"Dont beat yourself up because of that. Such things happen." The man kept smiling while one of the cats walked around his legs rubbing its fur against him.
"She seems to like you"
"Ah, yeah. I dont know but somehow cats are drawn to me"
"Maybe its because of your eyes"
"Sorry?" Slowly you pointed at his eyes with your index finger
"They remind me of cat eyes. They probably think you are one of them" "is that so?" you nodded as both of you start to laugh at the "meow" of the cat.
She seemed to approve too. Slowly the man stretched his arm out to shake your hand
"Im Yoongi, Min Yoongi"
"Im Y/N, nice to meet you Yoongi" gently you shook his hand. Yoongi's smile just grew wider
"What a pleasant suprise, i was looking for you"
"For me? Why?"
"Mister Jeon hired me personally. From today on im your new personal Bodyguard. I will do my best to keep you safe Miss Jeon."
summary: desperate to see if a man devoted to god will unravel, you test his faith with your sweet, deceptive innocence—seducing fr. jeon until his devotion no longer belongs to god…but to you.
warnings: priest jungkook x sinful reader, explicit sexual content, forbidden relationship, candle wax play, rosary choking, edging, clit rubbing, filthy sexual desires, spitting, degradation, mock sympathy, pussy eating, condescending dirty talk, blow job, cum eating, usage of whore & slut, praising, cum eating, m. masturbation, manipulation, multiple orgasms, rough sex, overstimulation, fingering, penetrative sex, creampie.
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂˚₊┈┈୨୧┈┈‧₊˚⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂
Temptation, they said, was the devil's favorite weapon…subtle, patient, and often disguised as something beautiful.
Your beauty was the kind that invited sin. Like a priceless painting in a museum, admired by many but forbidden to touch, existing only to test the restraint of those who stood before it.
Yet despite the effect you seemed to have on everyone else, Fr. Jeon remained frustratingly untouched by it all. Men had always looked twice, their attention lingering long enough to make their interest known. But his eyes never lingered on you. They would meet yours for a fleeting moment before moving on, calm and unwavering, carrying the same gentle warmth they offered every soul that walked through the church doors.
Pathetic.
Wearing a long white virginal skirt, a matching conservative blouse, and your hair falling neatly down your waist, you grabbed your purse before heading downstairs to meet Sana.
“Glad you finally wore something decent,” Sana commented with a sheepish smile when she saw you stepping out of your house.
You pouted, looking down at the modest skirt fluttering around your ankles. “My cute dresses are decent too, you know.”
You weren’t a very religious person, but when your friend Sana told you she wanted to join the church choir, you were more than happy to come with her.
Between the two of you, she was the religious one—always carrying a small pocket bible in her purse, always reminding you to watch your words and actions because God was watching.
A lot of your friends were confused about how the two of you became so close. You were playful, rebellious, and bratty—more of a bad influence beside someone so polite and devout. But despite your mischievous nature, you were very sweet, friendly and charming. At university, you were one of the popular students, with plenty of friends and a reputation as a social butterfly.
When you first met Sana, you hadn’t expected the two of you to get along. She was a new student, still adjusting to the unfamiliar environment and trying to find her place among the other students. Being the friendly social butterfly that you were, you became the first person to approach her.
Your personalities couldn’t have been more different. Sana was calm, reserved, and quiet, while you were bold, bright, and loud.
Despite being complete opposites, the two of you grew unexpectedly close. You liked Sana because she was a breath of fresh air. Her calmness grounded the chaos within you, while your playfulness brought balance and excitement to her peaceful life.
Ever since you became best friends, you often accompanied her to church. Although you looked somewhat out of place trailing behind her while she helped with various church duties, volunteer work, and parish activities...you still enjoyed spending time with her.
You liked how she always listened to your rants and endless rambles. Following her around while she busied herself carrying boxes and helping wherever she could, your kitten heels clicked softly against the church’s marbled floors, and the longest dress you could find in your closet swayed gently with every step. As unusual as it felt to be dressed so modestly, you couldn’t deny that you enjoyed these moments with Sana.
Your usual style of dressing didn’t exactly align with the church’s dress code… you had to trade your short skirts, midriff-baring tops, tight dresses, and cute spaghetti-strap tops for something more... demure.
At first, you tried to argue against it, but Sana quickly reminded you that those clothes weren’t appropriate for church. And of course, you had no choice but to listen unless you wanted another lecture about being a poor instrument of the Lord.
“Since when did you become a singer?” you teased as the two of you entered the church alongside a few parishioners and choir members.
Sana was dressed similarly to you, wearing a long skirt paired with a flowy long-sleeved blouse. In her right hand, she carried a small booklet filled with choir songs.
She pouted. “I can sing a bit, you know.” she opened the booklet and flipped through its pages. “As long as I’m serving the Lord, then no voice shall sound bad.”
You chuckled, already accustomed to her holy little remarks.
“If you say so,” you sang back playfully, following her up to the choir loft. You offered a polite smile to the other choir members, who were already busy practicing.
Since you weren’t actually there to join the choir, you let Sana focus on rehearsal while you wandered around the church on your own. Normally, you would have spent the entire time chatting her ear off, rambling about anything and everything, but today you let her concentrate.
A few parishioners were arranging fresh flowers around the framed images of saints, while others carefully dusted and polished the statues lining the church walls. The distant voices of the choir drifted through the air, blending with the soft murmur of prayers and quiet conversations, creating a peaceful atmosphere that settled gently around you.
When Sana first invited you to come with her to church, you had agreed out of nothing more than curiosity. You traded your usual weekend night outs for sunday mass, wanting to see the world through her eyes and understand why this place, with its quiet prayers and solemn rituals, meant so much to her.
The church offered a kind of quiet that rarely existed in your everyday life. Away from crowded parties, endless conversations, and the glittering chaos of your social circle, there was something unexpectedly comforting about this place. It gave you a chance to slow down, to breathe, and to simply exist without needing to be the loudest person in the room.
“Good morning, Fr. Jeon.” a few choir members and parishioners greeted.
You turned around absentmindedly, your head tilting curiously when you saw a priest entering through one of the church's side doors. Dressed in a long black cassock, he offered everyone a warm smile and a slight bow as he stepped inside.
A new priest?
“Are you here for the charity blessing, Fr. Jeon?” someone asked.
The woman approached him and received a gentle pat on the head in return.
He smiled. “Yes, I stopped by to gather a few materials for the blessing.”
Your head tilted slightly as you watched him, finding yourself taking an unconscious step forward.
A handsome fucking priest.
For the past few months that you'd been spending time at the church with Sana, this was the first time you'd seen him, and unfortunately for your soul, he was ridiculously attractive.
You found yourself shamelessly staring, almost in awe as he greeted everyone with effortless kindness.
He bowed politely, acknowledged each person with a warm smile, and listened attentively whenever someone spoke to him. It should've been a crime for a priest to be that good-looking.
Sinful.
The long black cassock he wore looked attractively sinful wrapped around someone so impossibly holy, the stark contrast only making him harder to ignore. His sharp jawline became more pronounced whenever he turned to greet someone with a kind smile, and a pair of thin-framed glasses rested neatly on his nose, lending him an air of quiet intelligence that did absolutely nothing to help your situation. His eyes were dark and warm behind the lenses, attentive whenever he listened to someone speak, and his jet-black hair was styled neatly, though a few stubborn strands had fallen across his forehead.
Everything about him looked composed, dignified, and entirely inappropriate for the thoughts currently running through your head.
You almost let out a dramatic gasp when Fr. Jeon finally waved his goodbye and turned to leave. A curse nearly slipped from your lips as you watched him make his way toward the church doors.
Everyone else had managed to greet him and earn one of his warm smiles, some even receiving a fond pat on the head. Meanwhile, you had spent the entire time standing near the altar, staring at him like an absolute creep, too mesmerized by his existence.
Internally rolling your eyes at yourself and the sheer ridiculousness of the situation, you watched him disappear through the church doors. And then, because apparently your dignity had already left the building before he did, you immediately made your way back to Sana, who was still busy practicing her choir lines.
“So...” you began, trailing behind Sana as she walked around with her booklet, quietly memorizing her choir pieces.
“Is Fr. Jeon a real priest?”
Sana lowered the booklet and stared at you, her brows knitting together as she caught the suspicious wiggle of your eyebrows.
“Huh?”
“I mean...” you hesitated. “Is he a real priest or, like… an intern priest?”
The moment the words left your mouth, you realized how stupid they sounded.
Was there even such a thing as a priest internship?
Sana blinked. Then she burst out laughing. “He's a real priest, Y/N. What do you mean, intern priest?”
Your cheeks immediately warmed. You looked away while she continued laughing, lifting the booklet back up as you followed after her.
You pouted. “Well... he looks young.” And hot. “And I've never seen him before. Every time I've attended mass with you, he wasn't the presider.”
You tried to think back to the past few months but came up empty. No handsome priests. Because if there had been one, you definitely would've remembered.
In fact, you were pretty sure you would've started sitting in the front row.
“Yeah, because he only got appointed recently,” Sana answered, her attention back on the booklet. “A few months ago, I think.”
You bit the inside of your cheek, almost groaning when you haven’t met him before he got appointed.
What the fuck, Y/N. Are you seriously eyeing a priest?
Absolutely not. That was...unholy!
For the following weeks, you found yourself clinging to Sana more than usual.
At first, you convinced yourself it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Going to church with her wasn't exactly new.
You just weren't nearly as consistent as she was.
There were plenty of sundays you skipped altogether, choosing late nights with your friends over early mornings in church. Besides, you figured there would always be another mass to attend, while convincing Sana to show up at one of your parties was practically impossible.
That was why you never attended as regularly as she did.
Lately, however, the situation seemed to have reversed. Now, you were the one volunteering to come.
Party invitations sat unanswered in your messages. Night outs were declined without hesitation. Instead, you found yourself asking Sana about choir practice, church activities, and whether she planned on volunteering for any upcoming events.
It was becoming a little concerning.
Wearing one of your now-usual long skirts and a modest blouse approved by church standards, you applied an extra layer of lip gloss in front of your mirror. Excitement bubbled inside you as you remembered what Sana had told you earlier that week—a charity event was coming up, and the church needed volunteers to help organize donations.
There had been plenty of charity events before, many of which you had skipped. Sana would usually spend the entire day helping sort donations and assisting the parishioners, leaving little time for the two of you to actually spend together. As much as you enjoyed tagging along with her, wandering around the church by yourself for hours wasn't exactly appealing.
This time, however, you were genuinely excited to come.
It wasn't as though you couldn't visit the church on your own. Nobody would stop you if you decided to drop by one afternoon.
The problem was that it would be… strange.
Ever since you started coming to church, it had always been because of Sana. Everyone knew you as her friend, not as someone particularly devoted to the church.
If you suddenly started showing up by yourself every weekend, people would notice. You weren't exactly known for your devotion.
Especially when the answer involved a certain priest.
It was already strange enough that you were beginning to resemble a devoted Christian.
False piety.
When you arrived at the church, your heartbeat picked up immediately. Volunteers moved in and out of the building carrying boxes and supplies, conversations blending into a lively hum that filled the grounds.
“You can help with the boxes, Y/N. I'll just talk to the choir members,” Sana said with a smile.
You nodded a little too eagerly, grateful she didn’t question your sudden burst of interest in coming with her to church. It helped that you had accompanied her before—enough for it to not feel completely out of the blue.
“Okay! I'll help with the boxes!” you smiled brightly.
The moment Sana wandered off to join the other choir members, you immediately began looking around for ways to help.
“Let me carry those,” you offered with a bright smile, reaching for a volunteer struggling with a stack of old toy boxes meant for donation.
The woman thanked you and asked if you could bring them outside, where a small truck was parked to collect everything.
You happily agreed.
“I hope he comes today,” you muttered under your breath as you carried the boxes toward the truck, your eyes drifting toward the church entrance every few seconds.
According to Sana, Fr. Jeon frequently stopped by to check on donation drives, visit the parish office, or help coordinate volunteer work.
You had already carried nine boxes, then… ten. With every trip back and forth, you found yourself slowly losing hope that Fr. Jeon would show up at all. You were starting to regret wearing your cutest pink skirt today, and the growing disappointment was beginning to settle in alongside your irritation.
Just as you were about to accept that all your effort had been wasted, Fr. Jeon finally appeared, walking into the church hall.
Your eyes widened.
“Fuck—” you immediately winced, biting your lip the moment the word escaped. Mentally apologizing for cursing inside the church.
With a fresh box of donations balanced in your arms, you hurried toward the entrance, trying your best to look useful, helpful and responsible. Like the kind of person who volunteered here regularly and wasn't secretly waiting for your handsome priest to show up.
Your heart hammered against your ribs when he finally glanced in your direction.
“Good day,” he greeted with a smile and a polite nod, raising his right hand to gently pat your head.
Your cheeks immediately flushed, almost dropping the boxes when he touched you.
He patted my head!
Today, he was dressed in a fitted black long-sleeved shirt tucked neatly into black slacks, a simple brown cross necklace resting against his chest. His jet-black hair was styled neatly away from his face, exposing a heart-shaped forehead that made him look unfairly handsome. He wore his usual pair of glasses, the thin frames resting on the bridge of his nose and softening the sharpness of his features. Behind the lenses, his round eyes looked steady and attentive, always observant, as if he noticed everything without ever needing to say so.
Goodness gracious.
Your gaze drifted lower, almost shamelessly staring…only to pause on his right hand.
You frowned slightly, you wanted to take a longer look, but his sleeves hid the rest of his arms from view, making it impossible to tell how far they extended.
Was that a tattoo?
For some reason, that discovery stunned you more than it should have. Priests and tattoos weren't exactly a combination you'd ever imagined together.
You were so distracted staring at his hand that you didn't realize he had already walked past you and moved on to greet the other volunteers.
You didn't even greet him back! Oh God.
Panic immediately settled in your chest. Adjusting your grip on the donation box, you hurried after him, determined to salvage the interaction somehow. You just needed a reason to talk to him.
A simple religious question, maybe?
Unfortunately, your brain had chosen this exact moment to stop working.
You couldn't exactly walk up to him and ask if priests were allowed to have tattoos. Nor could you suddenly start quoting bible verses when the majority of your religious knowledge came from Sana lecturing you every other week.
You wanted to sound natural and virginal.
The problem was that you had absolutely no idea how to start a holy conversation without sounding fake about it, like you were trying too hard to be someone you weren’t.
When you saw him entering the church office, you frowned and stomped your foot against the floor in irritation.
Pity.
You were a bit disappointed when his gaze didn’t even linger on you. You were used to boys in college always noticing you…showing their interest, getting swayed by your pretty face and charming personality. But here, inside the church, you were nothing more than another kind volunteer in his eyes—someone he greeted with the same calm respect he gave everyone else.
Importunate.
At this point, it had become a routine. You would come to church with Sana after school, grateful she had joined the choir because it gave you an excuse to be there almost every day instead of only on weekends.
While she attended rehearsals, you spent your afternoons helping with volunteer work and assisting the parishioners...all while discreetly searching the church grounds for your future boyfriend.
You even started dressing for it—slipping into the most “virginal” outfits your closet could offer in hopes of blending in. Long skirts, conservative blouses, dresses that covered everything they possibly could. It was almost laughable how much effort you put into looking like the perfect church girl, when a few months ago you would’ve rather died than be seen in half of these outfits.
The worst part was that it wasn't even guaranteed to work.
There were days when your timing simply didn't align. You would arrive at the church only to hear that Fr. Jeon had already stopped by earlier, or spend the afternoon helping around the parish before finding out he had come and gone while you were busy elsewhere. Sometimes you would leave just before he arrived, missing him by mere minutes.
You would come home without seeing even a glimpse of him, staring at your ceiling later that night and wondering why you felt so deflated over someone you barely knew.
Then there were the good days—when your schedules happened to align and you finally saw him. Your eyes would immediately light up the moment you spotted him across the church grounds, your smile growing brighter despite your attempts to act normal, your cheeks burning whenever he greeted you with that gentle smile and absentminded pat on the head.
Transgression.
At first, seeing him had been enough. Now, however, you found yourself expecting more. Not much...just a conversation that lasted longer than a few seconds. Something beyond charity drives, donation boxes, retreats, and volunteer work.
But Fr. Jeon was frustratingly...polite.
He greeted everyone with the same kindness, smiled at everyone with the same warmth, and spoke to everyone with the same respectful attentiveness. Whenever you managed to stand near him long enough for a conversation, he would ask about the charity, the donations, the volunteers, or whatever church event happened to be coming up next.
The discussion always remained firmly within the boundaries of church matters, and before you knew it, he would excuse himself to continue helping elsewhere.
You couldn't even ask him anything personal. Every question that came to mind sounded ridiculous the moment you imagined saying it out loud. Are those tattoos real? How old are you? Why are you so handsome for a priest?
None of them exactly sounded appropriate for church conversation.
So you remained stuck in this strange little cycle of yours, coming to church almost everyday with hopes far bigger than the interactions you actually received. And despite how ridiculous it felt, despite how much you scolded yourself for it, the highlight of your day was still that brief smile and the weight of his hand resting atop your head for a few seconds.
Shameful.
A shame that you had never actually talked to him.
Not beyond a few good afternoons exchanged in passing and the occasional greeting whenever your paths crossed around the church.
You didn't want to be too bold, afraid that he would notice your embarrassingly obvious attempts to get his attention. As someone who wasn't particularly religious, you found yourself in an absurd predicament.
Should you start reading the bible? Memorize a few scriptures? Learn enough about church teachings to hold an intelligent conversation with him?
The fact that you were even considering studying scripture just to impress a priest made you question every life decision that had led you to this point.
You wanted his eyes to linger on you. Wanted him to look at you a little longer than everyone else. Wanted to feel special in some way. But every time your gaze met his, he would simply smile and move on, his attention never staying in one place for too long.
Sometimes you wondered if the only thing capable of holding his complete devotion was God himself.
Which was unfortunate for you. Because you were used to being noticed.
You were pretty, and you knew it. Attention had always come easily to you, yet the one man whose attention you wanted most remained completely out of reach.
A man who was distant, unattainable, and forbidden in every possible sense of the word.
Standing in front of your mirror that afternoon, you smoothed down your floral dress and examined your reflection one last time. The modest dress fell neatly against your figure, paired with white kitten heels that made you look far more innocent than you actually were. You dabbed a little extra blush onto your cheeks before adding a touch more glitter to your eyelids, your excitement growing as you remembered what Sana had told you earlier that week.
Fr. Jeon would be presiding over today's mass.
It would be the first mass of his that you would be attending, and as you stared at yourself in the mirror, unable to stop smiling, you realized your excitement felt dangerously close to the kind of anticipation one would have before a date.
Sana had noticed that you were coming with her far more often nowadays, but being as naive and obedient as she was, she only took it as a good sign. In her eyes, your heart was simply getting closer to God, closer to faith, closer to something pure and meaningful.
Closer to Fr. Jeon, rather.
“You look excited,” she said with a soft smile, her eyes twinkling when you mentioned wanting to sit in the front row. The thought only made her happier, convinced that your devotion was finally deepening in the way she had always hoped for you.
Oh, you were devoted.
“Excited for the Mass, you know,” you replied with a small giggle, clasping your hands together as if to sell the image. “Wonder what bible chapter will be discussed today.”
Of course you were gonna listen, be a good little church girl and have your eyes and attention to him.
Your eyes were practically shining when you stepped into the church, making a beeline for the front row without hesitation. You sat down shamelessly, smoothing your skirt as if you had done this every sunday of your life.
Sana only smiled at your eagerness, completely oblivious to the fact that your decision had nothing to do with spiritual focus and everything to do with proximity. Sitting at the front felt less like devotion and more like VIP seating for the sole purpose of seeing Fr. Jeon up close.
When the bell finally rang, the entire church rose to its feet. Your heart kicked up immediately as the sacristans entered in procession, one of them carrying a smoking thurible that swung gently with each step. And right at the center of it all was him.
Your future boyfriend.
Your lips parted slightly, eyes widening as Fr. Jeon walked slowly down the nave with calm, deliberate steps. His hands were clasped together in front of him in prayer, and he wore the full liturgical vestments—a long white linen robe beneath a green chasuble, a thin stole draped over his shoulders, and a cincture tied neatly at his waist. The fabric moved softly as he walked, making him look almost unreal under the church lights, like something out of a painting you weren’t supposed to stare at for too long.
He greeted people with gentle smiles along the way, bowing his head politely, even pausing to pat a few children on the head as he passed the pews.
By the time he reached the altar, your attention was fully locked in.
Disingenuous.
You nodded a little too eagerly when responses were required, your voice coming out brighter than necessary during the choir parts, as if enthusiasm alone could prove your devotion. Every time he spoke, your focus sharpened, hanging onto his words a little too intently, even when you were supposed to be blending in with the rest of the congregation.
He was wearing his usual pair of glasses, slowly turning the pages of the bible with precise, practiced movements. His voice was steady and clear as he read, each word delivered with a calm authority that made it clear this role suited him completely. There was nothing rushed about him, nothing uncertain.. only a quiet certainty in the way he stood at the altar, as if it had always belonged to him.
By now, you had started mirroring him without even realizing it. Whenever he closed his eyes to say the prayers, you would close yours too, hands folded a little tighter than necessary, breathing in sync with the rhythm of the mass.
You were fucking crazy.
When it was time for the holy communion, you stood up almost too quickly, your heart thudding loudly in your chest as you joined the line forming in the aisle. Each step forward felt heavier than it should have, not because of the sacrament itself, but because of who was waiting near the altar.
“Are you alright?” Sana commented quietly when she noticed your flushed expression after the bell rang.
You let out a small, awkward laugh and instinctively smoothed down your long hair, trying to compose yourself. “Just thinking about my prayers,” you said lightly, as if that explanation made any sense at all.
She gasped, like you were really serious about your prayers, when all you could think about was—
He’s gonna feed me the host!
You were almost sweating as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, feeling the moment inch closer with every step in the line. Sana’s voice was still beside you, something about God always listening and having faith in his timing, but her words barely registered anymore. Your mind was elsewhere entirely, stuck on the growing realization that you were seconds away from facing him directly.
Preparing your hands in a prayer position, your brain almost short-circuited when you finally faced him, his right tatted hand holding the host up for you.
“The Body of Christ,” he said in a soft tone, almost detached in its reverence.
You wanted him to recognize you—the obedient good girl who always volunteered at the church. But fuck, he was too absorbed in God and the communion.
Your lips parted. “Amen…”
When he finally fed you the host, you almost choked when you felt the slight, accidental brush of his index finger against your lips as he withdrew his hand. You were left completely flustered, while he remained composed and focused on the ritual, seemingly unaware of the effect he had on you.
To you, it felt intimate.
To him, it was simply the Eucharist…a sacred duty, a practiced motion repeated countless times.
When you returned to your seat and lowered yourself to kneel again, you pressed your hands together a little too tightly. In your head, you immediately apologized to God for every impure thought, questionable intention, and shameless moment you had done.
Then, without even a full second of self-reflection, you proceeded to ask if he could somehow let you be a little closer to Fr. Jeon.
Your priorities were clearly a work in progress.
“Sana, are you gonna visit the church this week?” you asked with a small smile, falling into your usual habit of checking with her.
For the past few weeks, your afternoons and weekends had quietly reshaped themselves around her schedule.
It had become something strangely comforting… helping wherever you could, spending hours in a place that once felt unfamiliar but was now slowly turning into routine.
But of course, you couldn’t deny that recently, there was another reason woven into it too.
“Nope,” Sana replied as she hugged her books closer to her chest. “I have to study this week. Finals are coming up, and I still have a chemistry exam to review for before vacation starts.”
You groaned softly and walked beside her as the two of you left the campus. “Then why don’t we just stop by for a bit? To pray for good grades?” you suggested, lifting a brow as if it was the most logical solution in the world.
Please. Please. Please agree with me.
Sana pouted, clearly considering it for a moment, and your heart almost stopped in anticipation. Then she shook her head slowly, and your excitement deflated instantly.
“You’re right,” she said gently, “but it’s a long test, Y/N. I need to review all week. God would understand.”
She smiled softly and slipped her arm through yours. “Let’s just pray at home and do the rosary before reviewing.”
You forced a small smile, though your shoulders sagged slightly at the realization. It wasn’t just a missed church visit—it was a missed chance, even if you kept telling yourself it wasn’t supposed to be about that.
Sure, you would probably still see Fr. Jeon at sunday mass. He was the new presider in the city now, after all.
But it still wasn’t the same.
You almost groaned when you found yourself at the church that saturday morning. You were wearing a cream-colored dress, kitten heels, and a rosary necklace you had recently bought for the sole purpose of impressing Fr. Jeon. You had no idea whether he would even notice it, but in your mind, it felt like the kind of thing a good church girl would wear.
Preposterous.
Sashaying your way inside, you took in the usual parishioners and volunteers already busy arranging boxes for the charity drive.
You bit your lip. This was your first time visiting the church without Sana. Still, as you walked in, you were relieved when a few volunteers recognized you.
Thank God and all the saints.
You smiled and bent down to help with the boxes, already familiar with the routine—carrying them to the truck, sorting old clothes and toys, or helping with the lists.
If any of your uni friends saw you here alone, they would be completely confused. Without Sana, your sudden appearance at church would make absolutely no sense.
“Good day, Fr. Jeon.” someone greeted, and your ears immediately perked up. You turned just in time to see him entering the church halls in his usual black long sleeves and slacks.
You were only on your third box today! He was early!
Your lips curled into a small, excited smile as you instinctively stepped closer, box still in hand, already anticipating the familiar greeting and gentle pat on the head.
“Good day,” he said as expected, offering a polite nod before his hand lifted to pat your head.
Your eyelashes fluttered.
But instead of letting him move on to greet the others…for the first time in the past few weeks, you actually gathered the courage to stop him.
“Uh, Fr. Jeon?” you called softly just as he was about to turn away.
He paused, tilting his head slightly. “Yes, sweetheart?”
Jesus– God in heaven.
Your cheeks instantly reddened at the nickname, fingers tightening around the box. Still, you forced yourself to breathe, and finally blurted out the question you had been rehearsing all night.
“Just wondering if you have any c-chapter recommendations? I’m currently reading the bible and I don’t know where to start,” you said shyly.
There was a brief flicker of pleasant surprise on his face, quietly impressed that you were asking about the bible in the first place. It wasn't often that someone approached him with genuine curiosity about scripture.
He was about to answer when, suddenly…his attention shifted.
His gaze drifted downward, landing on the rosary hanging around your neck—the small cross resting between your breasts.
His lips pursed. “Sweetheart…rosaries are not meant to be worn as necklaces,” he chuckled softly, his eyes lingering on the rosary before looking back at you.
Your eyes widened. “I-It’s not…?” you asked, your ears and neck already heating in embarrassment.
Fuck. You didn’t know that!
Fr. Jeon exhaled gently. “It’s a prayer tool,” he explained, his tone patient and calm. “Meant to be held in the hands… used in prayer, not displayed like jewelry.”
You blinked. “I-I didn’t know,” you admitted quickly, almost defensively. “I just really… like rosaries.”
Deception.
Fr. Jeon sighed softly, then lifted a hand to gently pat your head. “It’s okay…if you want, you can still wear rosary bracelets.” he offered you a small, reassuring smile.
You almost melted at his kindness. “R-Right, that would be better,” you said shyly, barely keeping yourself together.
He chuckled softly at your reaction, adjusting his glasses before finally returning to your original question. “If you’re reading the bible,” he added at last, “start with the gospels. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.”
You nodded quickly, smiling up at him as he returned a warm, genuine smile of his own.
“Noted, Fr. Jeon.” you smiled, unconsciously stepping a little closer. “...Uhm, d-do you have a bible in your office, Father?” you asked shyly, doing your best to sound innocent and academically curious.
The moment the question left your mouth, you almost mentally slapped yourself.
Of course he has a bible in his office!
You opened your mouth, ready to rephrase the question, to save yourself from the embarrassment of sounding so foolish—but Fr. Jeon answered before you could.
“I do have a few bible collections in my office…would you like to see them?” Fr. Jeon offered, gesturing gently toward the church office.
You dropped the boxes. “Oh, my-”
Your plan actually worked!
Your eyes widened in horror. Mortified, you immediately bent down to pick them up, only to find Fr. Jeon already reaching for them.
“Careful, sweetheart,” he chuckled softly, lifting the boxes with ease as if they weighed nothing. “Let me carry these.”
“S-Sorry, it was kinda heavy,” you reasoned out, your neck already turning red. You still couldn’t believe you were actually having a full conversation with him.
And now he was even taking you to his office!
The Lord had truly answered your prayers.
With a polite smile, Fr. Jeon handed the boxes to the truck before gesturing for you to follow him toward the office.
“I can let you borrow a few scriptures if you’d like. I have the new version of the bible—would you want that?” Fr. Jeon asked as he reached into his pocket for his office keys.
You nodded immediately, hands clasping together behind your back. “Uh, yeah. That would be heavenly!”
Heavenly? For Christ’s sake, Y/N.
Fr. Jeon only smiled at that, unlocking and opening the office door as if he were letting you step into a space you had no right to be so excited about.
Pious.
You had done your research last night—it had been difficult since he was such a private person, but you had managed to learn a few things.
Fr. Jeon had been ordained only six months ago and was now officially assigned as the priest of your city’s parish, something you were embarrassingly looking forward to.
He was twenty-eight. He had studied arts before eventually pursuing theology. There were only a handful of photos of him online…mostly seminarian group pictures, a few formal ones where he wasn’t wearing his usual cassock, though he was always in long sleeves.
You had even found one rare image where he had rolled his sleeve slightly during a group photo, revealing part of a tattoo on his arm beneath a white long-sleeve shirt and a cross necklace.
“Fuck… he’s hiding all that under his sleeves?” you had muttered to yourself last night, squinting at the screen and trying to find more…only to realize there was barely anything else. No social media, no casual photos, nothing.
“Take a seat here. I’ll get the books for you,” Fr. Jeon said now, smiling as he gestured toward the small couch in front of his desk.
You nodded and sat down obediently, trying very hard to look like a good parish girl.
His office was quiet and orderly in a way that immediately made you straighten your posture. The walls were lined with wooden bookshelves filled with thick religious texts, bible editions, theological commentaries, and neatly stacked parish documents. A simple desk sat against one side, organized and uncluttered, with a few folders, a pen holder, and a small lamp.
In the center of the room, mounted on the wall above the desk, hung a large crucifix—christ on the cross—watching over everything in silent stillness. The soft light from the window fell across it gently, making the entire room feel even more solemn, almost sacred.
Yet your thoughts were nowhere near sacred. You were here to attempt a very dangerous, carnal sin.
Seduction.
Masked in your perfect good-girl appearance, wondering if you could crack that unshakable composure he wore so effortlessly—if you could make his calm, holy restraint finally slip.
You slowly stood up from the couch while his back remained turned, focused on his bible scriptures. Your head tilted slightly as you tried to make it look as innocent as possible…to enter his space without revealing your true, sinful intentions.
“Fr. Jeon,” you called softly, standing too close behind him.
You needed to converse, to interact with him, to get him interested—to show him how much you adored God as much as he did.
“Hmm?” He didn’t glance at you, still focused on the scriptures.
You pouted, slowly taking a peek at what he was doing. “I was wondering if I could just read the bible here instead of borrowing it….” you attempted softly. “That way, if there’s something I don’t understand… I can ask you about it right away.” you said in a sweet, suggestive tone.
Fr. Jeon glanced at you, subtly stepping back when he realized you were right behind him, your vanilla scent brushing his senses.
He paused for a moment, looking into your hopeful eyes.
“Hmm,” he hummed thoughtfully, a small smile appearing on his face. “That's actually a good idea. Understanding scripture is easier when you can discuss it with someone. If I'm here, feel free to ask me anything you're confused about.”
Providence.
You smiled brightly, feeling your relationship with him finally take another step forward.
“That would be great! Thank you, Fr. Jeon,” you said, tilting your head and giving him one of your most charming smiles.
It was absurd.
After your finals, you were granted a two-month semestral break, and instead of using that time to party, travel with friends, or go on night outs, you had spent nearly all of it at the church.
Sana, unfortunately, never questioned your growing interest. She was too kind to question your faith.
Over the next few weeks, your afternoons were spent in the parish office, reading scripture, flipping through commentaries, and waiting for the familiar sound of the office door opening.
During those weeks, you managed to have a few small talks with him whenever he stopped by. You learned that he visited the church every day…sometimes to pray, sometimes to help with ongoing charity work, hear confessions, or simply check on the church office before moving on to his next responsibility.
Hearing about his schedule made you quietly adjust your own, ensuring you arrived at the office around 3 p.m.—the time he usually came in to check mails and paperwork at his office.
Today, you were wearing a baby blue dress that flowed nicely around your ankles, trimmed with delicate lace at the hem. Your hair was tied in a half ponytail with a blue ribbon, your makeup subtle, and your kitten heels matching the softness of your outfit.
Sana didn’t come with you every day anymore—she had other “holy” activities outside the church, like charity visits, helping at retreat houses, touring other churches, and even climbing mountains to visit shrines and statues.
You had politely declined most of those invitations, telling her you found comfort in staying within your church’s city.
Disingenuous.
The rhythm between you had become almost routine. You would come to the office in the afternoons, sit down with a bible, and quietly read while asking him occasional questions whenever something didn’t make sense.
Fr. Jeon would remain at his desk, either going through papers or reading his own scripture in silence. The room would stay mostly quiet, filled with the soft turning of pages and the steady presence of his focus, as if the world outside didn’t quite reach either of you in that space.
Sometimes you would try to steer the conversation a little further, testing small openings beyond scripture, but it always naturally circled back to the same things—bible passages, God, charity work, church matters… anything within that same unspoken boundary of the holy.
Yet, that alone felt like a privilege—being allowed into the quiet rhythm of his office, as if you belonged there too.
“Good day, Fr. Jeon. I brought some snacks for you,” you said with a smile as you entered the church’s office.
As usual, he was sitting at his desk, wearing his framed glasses while reading some papers.
You walked toward him and held up a small box of cookies you had gladly baked. “I made these…kind of like a thank-you gift for letting me stay here in the office,” you said proudly.
During your free time, you had spent the entire afternoon baking cookies for Fr. Jeon, thinking it would be a nice thank-you gift for him. At first, you had even wanted to decorate them with cute frosting faces of Jesus, convinced it would make you look extra devoted in his eyes.
Unfortunately, after staring at your frosting bag for ten minutes, you realized it might look a little too....performative.
So, with great reluctance, you abandoned your tiny Jesus-face cookie idea and settled for regular chocolate chip cookies instead.
The result sat neatly inside the box you now held out to him, carefully packed and decorated with far more effort than necessary.
Fr. Jeon looked at the cookies, his head tilting slightly when he noticed the box was covered in heart stickers. A soft smile formed on his lips, quietly touched by your kindness.
“That’s very kind of you, sweetheart.” he said softly, taking the box before looking up at you from his swivel chair. “Thank you, Y/N.”
Your cheeks flushed, making you feel like a schoolgirl finally noticed by your crush.
“No worries, Fr. Jeon… besides, I really like reading the bible here! it feels comforting,” you said, leaning in slightly as if to emphasize your point. “And thank you… you really help me understand it better when I get confused,” you added softly, fluttering your lashes at him.
He blinked slowly, clearly caught off guard by your sweet smile and the way you leaned in, his usual composure faltering for a brief moment as he paused.
“No...no problem sweetheart.” he said with a small smile. “I’m… glad you find comfort here. God will always find a way to comfort our souls.”
You smiled sheepishly and sat down on the small couch in front of his desk. “Hmm, I know…I always pray whenever I’m overwhelmed, somehow talking to God really helps me.” you said thoughtfully, even if you had only learned those kinds of phrases from Sana.
Fr. Jeon nodded quietly, he didn’t expect you to be this devoted.
You were very pure, kind, and charming. He had always noticed you volunteering at the church with your friend Sana—you would help with the boxes, sit around during her choir sessions, sometimes simply sit in the pew as if the presence of the church alone was enough for you.
It wasn’t hard to notice you. You were pretty and graceful, always smiling at everyone, carrying a soft, composed presence whenever he saw you at the church in your long skirts and modest blouses—like a quiet image of devotion itself.
Despite that, his eyes never lingered.
Always composed, always measured…because anything longer than a passing glance felt like something he shouldn’t allow himself.
Ever since you asked him about the bible that day, he had been quietly amazed. Nowadays, very few people showed genuine interest in scripture, let alone someone your age.
Seeing your devotion—or what he believed was devotion…filled him with a warmth he hadn't expected. It was rare to meet someone so eager to learn more about God.
What he didn't realize was that your sweet, holy little plan had been working all along.
And what you didn't realize was that your sweetness, your smiles, your carefully built innocence—had been working from the very beginning.
You were so focused on the fact that his eyes never lingered, so convinced that he remained untouched by your presence, that you failed to see the subtle effect you had already left behind.
“What do you do during your free time, Fr. Jeon?” you asked casually one friday afternoon, trying your best to sound merely curious rather than interested.
You had spent weeks keeping your questions safely within the boundaries of scripture. Careful not to reveal how badly you wanted to know the man behind the collar.
So you kept your tone light and innocent, as though it were nothing more than a harmless question that had happened to cross your mind.
Fr. Jeon's head tilted slightly. He was sitting across from you at the small coffee table inside his office, a bible resting in his hands just like yours.
“I visit charities,” he answered lightly. “I usually stay there for a while and spend time with the children.” a fond smile crossed his face at the memory.
Your lips parted. Oh! still religious.
“How about you, sweetheart?” Fr. Jeon asked.
You quickly searched for a suitably holy answer. “Umm, I-I sometimes climb mountains to visit shrines and blessed statues,” you said, biting your lip as you recalled one of Sana's favorite religious activities.
Fr. Jeon nodded thoughtfully, visibly impressed…his expression softening as if genuinely moved that you spent your free time in service of the Lord.
“What a good girl you are,” he said softly.
His eyes lifted to meet yours for a brief moment—just long enough to make your heart stumble…before he looked away first, a small smile forming on his lips that he quickly hid as he lowered his gaze back to the bible.
Your lips parted slightly, warmth rushing to your cheeks at the compliment.
Good girl. Oh to be called his good girl.
Even though Sana had been busy lately with her other holy activities, you didn't mind attending mass alone. In fact, you were more than happy sitting in the front row.
Your eyes would sparkle whenever Fr. Jeon spoke, your heart thumping whenever his gaze swept across the congregation and briefly met yours.
It always felt like a small victory, as though he was finally acknowledging you, finally noticing you.
“The Body of Christ.” Fr. Jeon held up the host.
“Amen,” you replied softly.
Unlike before, however, his gaze briefly lowered to meet yours. It lasted only a moment, accompanied by a small smile, but it was enough to make your heart skip a beat.
Enthralled.
Little by little, the distance between you seemed to shrink. The walls around him no longer felt quite as impenetrable as they once had.
Overtime, you had finally managed to crack through the edges of his usual reserve. What started as strictly scripture and charity talk had slowly, almost imperceptibly, begun to shift into something more personal.
You learned how he first became interested in the priesthood, how his mother had served in the church, and how deeply devoted his family was to their faith. You even found the courage to ask about his tattoos, discovering they came from his love for art long before he pursued theology.
In return, you had shared little pieces of yourself as well—your hobbies, your favorite things, your likes and dislikes. Of course, you were careful to sprinkle in a little extra holiness whenever you could, always eager to impress him and maintain the image he seemed to have of you.
Fr. Jeon enjoyed your presence. It was refreshing to converse with someone who seemed to share the same interest and devotion that he held so dearly.
As the weeks passed, he found himself quietly looking forward to your visits, anticipating the familiar sound of your voice drifting into his office each afternoon. After all, you had always been naturally playful and talkative, and somehow… your constant babbling had become a welcome part of his routine.
It had been a month since you started spending your afternoons in his office. Upon entering, you found him sitting at the coffee table instead of his desk. Scattered across the table were several small boxes in different colors.
Curious, you stepped inside, your usual box of homemade cookies in hand—the same kind you brought him every week.
“What’s that, Fr. Jeon?” you asked, taking a seat across from him and placing the cookies on the table.
Fr. Jeon looked up and smiled. “When's your birthday, sweetheart?”
You blinked, a question that was out of the blue—like you were on a date, and he was casually getting to know you.
Your cheeks immediately flushed, you told him your birth date, unable to hide the slight confusion in your voice.
Fr. Jeon nodded thoughtfully before reaching for one of the small boxes on the table.
There were twelve of them in total, each a different color. Pink, purple, green, blue, yellow, and several others.
“This would be your birthstone color then,” he said with a fond smile, handing you the box that matched your birth month.
Confused, you picked up the box and slowly opened it.
A small rosary bracelet rested inside.
Your heart began thumping so loudly you could hear it in your ears as you remembered the conversation from weeks ago…when he had gently corrected you and told you that rosaries weren't meant to be worn as necklaces.
“T-This is for me?” you asked, eyes wide and sparkling.
Fr. Jeon smiled softly. “Yes, sweetheart. I didn't know your birthday, so I bought all twelve colors,” he admitted with a small chuckle, glancing at the remaining boxes on the table.
It was such a simple gift, yet your heart fluttered stupidly in your chest. Somehow, this meant more than the flowers, chocolates, teddy bears, and expensive jewelry your admirers had given you before.
Before you could stop yourself, you rose from your seat and threw your arms around him.
Fr. Jeon froze in surprise, his eyes widened as you suddenly closed the distance between you. The force of the hug nearly made him lose his balance in the chair as your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders.
“Thank you, Fr. Jeon...so sweet of you.” you murmured, overwhelmed with happiness.
He gulped harshly. It had been a long time since he had been touched by a woman.
Not accidentally in a crowded place. Not a polite handshake after mass. Not a brief greeting exchanged out of courtesy.
A long time.
His heart raced against his ribs as your arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Your hot breath fanned softly against his collar, carrying the familiar scent of vanilla that had become impossible for him not to recognize. The closeness was overwhelming in a way he hadn't expected, making him painfully aware of how little physical affection existed in his life.
His hands hovered awkwardly in the air for a moment before gripping the edge of the table instead. Every instinct told him to return the gesture, to place a comforting hand against your back and reassure you, but he remained still, forcing himself to hold onto his composure.
“You're welcome, sweetheart.” Fr. Jeon rasped, his voice coming out rougher than usual.
When you finally pulled away, you smiled brightly and sat back down in your chair, immediately slipping the bracelet onto your wrist.
Meanwhile, he remained frozen for a moment, trying to swallow away the lingering awareness of your closeness. The warmth of your embrace, your breath against his collar, the brief press of your breasts against him.
The hug had been innocent, sweet and harmless.
Which only made it worse.
Because he had no reason to be affected by it at all. He found himself quietly unsettled by the fact that he had needed to restrain himself in a moment that should have been nothing more than simple gratitude.
Temptation.
The next day, you proudly wore the rosary bracelet he had given you. You had even chosen a dress that matched its color, complete with a ribbon in your hair to tie everything together.
When you entered his office, you found Fr. Jeon standing by the bookshelves, a scripture in one hand. His glasses rested low on his nose as he read through a passage.
Immediately, you raised your wrist and showed off the bracelet. “Look,” you said with a grin.
Fr. Jeon glanced down, you were already twirling in place, eager to show him how the bracelet matched your dress.
Pretty.
The thought came so naturally that he frowned at himself.
“Good day, Y/N.” he replied, forcing his attention away from the observation.
You smiled brightly and wriggled your wrist. “I matched the bracelet with my dress and ribbon, see?”
Turning in a small circle again, you proudly showed off the entire outfit.
Fr. Jeon watched for a brief moment before lowering his gaze. Lately, he had become far too aware of things he shouldn't be noticing.
How pretty you looked whenever you walked into his office, how your face lit up whenever you talked to him, how easily your excitement filled the room.
Even your long dresses—soft fabric falling gently to your ankles, lace details tracing along the edges…began to feel distracting in a way he could not fully explain or justify.
Turning innocent things into distractions. The modesty that should have protected his thoughts was beginning to have the opposite effect, making him painfully aware of the woman hidden beneath layers of fabric and lace.
Perhaps it was because it had been so long since he had allowed himself to be this close to a woman. Years spent in seminaries, rectories, church offices, and ministry had made him accustomed to a life of distance and discipline. He had grown comfortable in it.
Until you.
“Glad you like it, sweetheart,” he said at last, forcing a small smile before returning his attention to the scripture in his hands.
It was easier to focus on the page than on the way you were still standing there, smiling at him as if he had just given you the greatest gift in the world.
You giggled and stepped a little closer. “You know, I didn’t remove the bracelet yet… I’m planning on wearing it forever.”
Fr. Jeon raised a brow at that, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.
“Really?” he asked, unable to hide the delightfulness in his voice.
“Yes! I didn’t even remove it when I took a bath,” you giggled, smiling at him with pure adoration.
His brows furrowed slightly at what you had just said, but before he could stop himself, a faint flush crept across his cheeks.
Test of faith.
His mind betrayed him for a brief second, wandering toward the image of you showering while still wearing the bracelet he had given you, carefully keeping it on even then. The thought was so sudden and inappropriate that he immediately felt ashamed.
He gulped harshly, disappointed in himself. He would have to repent later and ask the Lord for forgiveness for allowing such a crude thought to cross his mind.
Fr. Jeon could not entertain that desire. It was forbidden, a temptation that needed to be buried and forgotten before it could take root.
Yet despite the turmoil quietly unfolding inside him, he weakly reached over and gently patted your head.
His heart immediately thumped against his ribs when your eyes lifted to meet his, shining with unmistakable adoration at the simple gesture.
You beamed at him...letting out a small, delighted giggle that softened the moment even further.
Craving.
The past few weeks had been exhausting. As the city's new presider, he had been buried beneath paperwork and responsibilities. The church had also been flooded with parishioners seeking confession, and the lines seemed to grow longer with each passing day.
Hundreds of voices had passed through the confessional since then, each carrying their own sins, burdens, and regrets. Most of them faded from memory the moment absolution was given.
Yours hadn't.
Fr. Jeon leaned back in his chair and stared at the crucifix hanging on the office wall. The afternoon sunlight filtered through the window, casting long shadows across the room.
He had spent years strengthening his faith, disciplining his mind, and dedicating himself entirely to the Lord. Yet lately, all it took was a sweet smile, an innocent touch, or the sound of your voice to shake that discipline.
Closing his eyes, he lowered his head.
"Lord, forgive me," he murmured quietly.
A threat to his devotion.
-
“Ouch, fuck,” you groaned, pulling the tray of cookies out of the oven.
You were baking a fresh batch for Fr. Jeon today, trying out a larger baking tray than usual so you could make more cookies at once. Unfortunately, the experiment immediately backfired.
As you bent down to take the tray out, the hot metal edge accidentally brushed against your inner thigh. You winced, pouting as you watched your skin slowly turn red.
“This looks so bad,” you murmured, setting the tray of cookies down on the counter.
Luckily, you had been wearing long skirts these days.
Prepping the boxes of cookies you had baked, you decided to wear a purple long lacey skirt paired with a cute ruffled top. Your hair was styled into low pigtail braids, each tied with a ribbon at the ends. Holding the box carefully, you frowned slightly when you felt the bandage rubbing against your swollen skin.
“Good day, Fr. Jeon, I got you cookies!” you beamed.
You noticed he had become even busier after being appointed as the city’s official presider, though you didn’t realize he had been deliberately drowning himself in paperwork—anything to keep his thoughts from drifting where they shouldn’t.
“Good day, Y/N,” he replied, glancing up for only a brief moment to return your smile before his attention went back to the documents in front of him.
You frowned slightly and placed the box of cookies on the table in front of him. “Got you a different flavor! It’s red velvet this time,” you said, pointing at the box with a small, proud smile.
Fr. Jeon glanced at them, warmth flickering in his chest before he quickly pushed it down.
“Thank you, Y/N… that’s very kind of you,” he said gently, his tone careful, as though he was trying to place distance even while accepting your kindness.
You pouted almost immediately. The response felt far too brief for someone who had spent the morning baking for him.
Wanting his attention back on you, you shifted your weight and played with the ends of your braid, searching for something that would pull his focus away from the paperwork on his desk.
“You know… I even got burned earlier because I used a bigger tray and it hit me,” you said with a small chuckle, watching him carefully for a reaction. “But it’s fine, I’m just worried it might leave a mark,” you added with a light giggle, unable to hide the hopeful note in your voice as you waited for him to look at you again.
That got his attention immediately.
His brows furrowed as he looked up from the papers, concern breaking through the careful distance he had been trying to maintain. His eyes instinctively moved to your hands, searching for any sign of injury.
“Where is it? Let me see,” Fr. Jeon said, the concern in his voice unmistakable. His gaze lingered on your fingers and wrists, unable to find the burn he was looking for.
You had to fight the smile threatening to appear.
Slowly, you made your way around the table until you were standing beside him. From his swivel chair, he tilted his head back to follow your movement, his attention still fixed on your hands.
“It’s not there, Fr. Jeon…” you said softly. “Here...”
A small giggle escaped you as you gently lifted the hem of your long skirt.
His eyes widened instantly, panic flashing across his face before he could hide it. Before you could lift your skirt any higher, his hand shot forward on instinct, wrapping around your wrist to stop you.
“W-What are you doing?” he asked, nearly choking on the words.
The reaction was immediate, almost alarmed, as though the sight of you standing there with your hands on your skirt had caught him completely off guard. His grip wasn't harsh, but it was firm enough to halt your movement, his composure visibly rattled.
“I burned my thighs, Fr. Jeon… see?” you said innocently, lifting the fabric just enough to reveal the bandage wrapped beneath.
His lips parted at the sight, momentarily stunned.
The bandage sat against your soft thighs, the realization of how close he was to something so private making his mind go blank for a second.
He had never seen so much of you like this before—not this close, not this exposed in such an unguarded, unexpected way.
Your thighs looked so soft, pink and smooth… faintly marked by the redness around the bandage, drawing attention to how tightly you had wrapped it.
“It hurts a little,” you pouted, pointing at it.
His throat tightened as he swallowed hard, his gaze immediately faltering. Behind his glasses…his pupils were dilated, his ears and neck flushing red. His hands gripped the sides of his swivel chair tightly, as though grounding himself in place.
“Y-You wrapped it wrong,” he managed to say at last, his voice strained. He cleared his throat and forced his attention elsewhere, brows furrowing as he tried to recover his composure.
You tilted your head. “I did?” you looked down, trying to check your bandage when he suddenly stood up.
“I-I have a first aid kit in my cabinet. Sit in my swivel chair...I-I’ll wrap it for you,” he said quickly, already turning away from you as if creating distance would steady him. Without waiting for another reaction, he walked toward the cabinet near the bookshelves.
You bit your lip. “Okay…”
You obediently sat down in his swivel chair, a small, satisfied feeling flickering in your chest when you noticed how concerned…and slightly flustered—he seemed.
When he returned, he was holding a small first aid kit. Your breath caught slightly when he suddenly knelt in front of you.
“L-Lift your skirt, please.” he said, his tone firm but strained, his brows drawn together as he deliberately avoided looking too directly while waiting for you to comply.
Your heart stammered, green thoughts flowing inside your filthy brain.
With shaky, anticipatory hands, you lifted your skirt up to your inner thighs, purposefully raising it a little higher than necessary.
When he looked at your exposed thighs, his breath hitched. He tried to remain as calm as possible, forcing himself to focus. Slowly, he reached for the bandage, almost flinching when he felt the softness of your skin beneath the rough pad of his fingers.
“It’s too tight,” he said breathily, his hands trembling as he unwrapped the bandage from your thigh.
“Is it?” you said softly, watching the way his lips were slightly parted, his expression focused and controlled.
When the burn was finally exposed, his brows furrowed. “You should be more careful, Y/N.” he said quietly.
He took a small tube of ointment from the kit, applying a bit to his index finger before carefully spreading it over the burn.
You winced slightly at the contact, while his attention remained fixed and steady as he worked.
“Does it hurt?” he asked, his voice lower than usual as he briefly checked your reaction before focusing back on the injury.
You bit your lip. “J-Just a little bit.”
He sighed harshly at that, gently rubbing the ointment in with steady movements, though you could see beads of sweat slowly forming on his forehead.
“Just a little more,” he murmured almost under his breath, applying another layer of ointment. His control was thinner now, each movement more deliberate than the last, as if he was carefully holding himself together.
When he took the new bandage, he wrapped it carefully around your burn with precise, practiced hands. Once he was done, he immediately adjusted your skirt, smoothing it down with controlled efficiency…perhaps a little too quickly, as though creating distance from the moment itself.
When he stood up, you could see it more clearly now: the restraint in his posture, the tension in his jaw, the way his composure wasn’t as effortless as before. He looked like he was actively holding himself back from something, grounding himself before it showed too much.
“Thank you,” you said warmly, smiling up at him.
He looked down at you, tilting his head slightly at how innocent you appeared with your ribbons and braids.
Forbidden.
That night, Fr. Jeon fell into the forbidden temptation he had been trying so hard to resist.
It was ten o’clock, yet he remained inside the church office, refusing to leave the premises until his mind and soul were free of guilt.
Frustrated, he buried himself in scripture, but his thoughts kept drifting back to your soft, beautiful thighs and the rosary bracelet on your wrist that had stirred such sinful thoughts within him.
“Forgive me,” he muttered under his breath, his tattooed hand sliding down his slacks to palm his hardening cock.
His lips parted. It had been a very long time since he had touched himself...he had almost forgotten how good it felt. With a shaky breath, he slowly stroked his growing erection, murmuring apologies and curses beneath his breath.
He nearly rolled his eyes back at the sensation. It felt far too good. His cock hardened with alarming ease at the mere thought of you.
Lust.
With trembling hands, he slowly pulled his cock free from his slacks. It was thick and pulsing, a bead of precum already forming at the swollen tip.
When his tattooed hand squeezed the base, more fluid gathered at the head, coating his throbbing shaft.
“Jesus Christ,” he whispered under his breath, a groan escaping him as he rediscovered how good it felt to touch himself after so long.
It was sinful. Dirty.
He was still inside the church office, dressed in his usual black clerical shirt with its roman collar. Scripture lay open on his desk, and his glasses had begun to fog from the heat of his breath.
It had been years. He could no longer remember the last time he had touched a woman, nor the last time he had thought of one this way. When he devoted himself to the Lord, he had promised never to indulge in such acts again.
The longer he had restrained himself, the better it felt to finally release that tension after so many years. His cock almost ached. Thick and veiny, it twitched whenever he rolled the foreskin down.
“God, help me.” Fr. Jeon moaned shamelessly, jerking himself in slow, deliberate strokes, determined to savor every second of it.
He gathered spit in his mouth and let it trickle down his aching shaft. The added lubrication drew a groan from him. He bit down hard on his lip as the realization struck him once more—how good this felt, how much he had missed touching himself.
His thoughts drifted to you.
He imagined your sweet confession about still wearing the rosary bracelet he had given you... even while bathing. The thought lingered longer than it should have, unfurling in his mind as he pictured your small, delicate hands gliding a bar of soap across your soft skin. The rosary would brush against your chest with every movement, the beads shifting and sliding as you washed your nipples.
And then his thoughts wandered further, painting one image after another—your inner thighs, the way the beads might accidentally graze your soft skin as you shower. Each vision arrived unbidden, more vivid than the last, and far more difficult to suppress.
A sacred desire.
He was leaking more and more with every thought of you. The only sound echoing through the office was the wet rhythm of his hand jerking along his hard leaking cock.
Curious, he gathered a bead of precum between his thumb and index finger and brought it to his lips. The taste was salty, thick, and strangely addicting.
“Oh, God,” he groaned, collecting more of it only to taste himself again.
Your forbidden thighs.
The softness of them. The way he had been close enough to imagine burying himself in their warmth. The way they flushed pink beneath his touch. The way they looked so plump and beautiful, tempting thoughts he should never have entertained.
He imagined pressing kisses along your legs, lingering there as though each touch were an act of devotion. He imagined how soft your pussy would feel beneath his lips, how he would part your folds just to stare at your glistening cunt, worshipping it with the reverence of a prayer.
Fr. Jeon was close to climaxing, using memories of your past interactions to fuel his sinful fantasies. His hand was slick with saliva and precum, his thighs tensing as he struggled to hold himself back. He tried to edge himself, to prolong the moment, because the sensation felt far too good after so many years of restraint.
Your body. Even beneath your long dresses and modest blouses, he could tell you were beautiful.
It shamed him that it had been one of the first things he noticed when he saw you wearing that rosary. The way your chest filled out your modest clothing. The way your waist appeared so delicate beneath layers of fabric. The way he found himself wondering what was hidden beneath all that lace and decency.
It was a sin he was terrified to acknowledge. A sin he was terrified to put into words.
But you were beautiful, kind, gentle, and devoted in your faith.
He wanted to fuck you.
When the shameful thought finally broke free from the restraints he had placed upon it, he came hard, his release staining the dark fabric of his slacks.
A deep groan tore from his throat as he continued to stroke himself, milking every last wave of pleasure from his body. His thumb brushed along the underside of his cock, chasing the lingering sensitivity.
“Fuck, I’m still hard,” he muttered, biting his lower lip as he glanced down at himself.
It was understandable.
After years of abstinence, it wasn't surprising that his body responded so eagerly. The restraint he had maintained for so long seemed to have shattered all at once.
Yearning.
All night, instead of losing himself in scripture, he gave in to temptation. His hand jerked shamelessly over his cock as his thoughts returned to you again and again. To every forbidden desire he had tried to suppress. To every impulse he had buried beneath prayer, discipline, and devotion.
Hours passed unnoticed.
He had so much pent-up desire, so much neglected hunger, that he remained awake until dawn, caught in an endless cycle of pleasure in jerking his insatiable cock. The office grew quiet around him while the darkness slowly gave way to morning light, yet his thoughts never strayed far from your face, your kindness, and the feelings he had spent so long denying.
And the fantasies that filled his mind were so sinful that he feared they had carried him beyond forgiveness.
“This should do it,” you giggled to yourself, wrapping the bandage poorly on purpose so he would have an excuse to fix it for you again.
Your box of cookies was already prepared, resting neatly on your lap while you held a bible in your hands and waited for Fr. Jeon.
Unfortunately, hours passed with nothing but the sound of turning pages accompanying you. You flipped through scripture after scripture, occasionally glancing toward the door, expecting him to appear at any moment.
Yet he never came.
Confused, you eventually stepped out of the office to look for him yourself. Perhaps he was outside helping with the donations or speaking with parishioners, as he often did. But after wandering around the church grounds and checking every place you could think of, you still couldn't find him anywhere.
“Where is he?” you pouted to yourself, a disappointed sigh slipping past your lips as you made your way back to his office.
By the time you returned, the warm glow of sunset had already begun spilling through the stained-glass windows.
Realizing he wasn't coming, you reluctantly decided to leave the cookies behind along with a small handwritten note. The thought alone made your chest feel strangely heavy.
“I miss him already,” you murmured, frowning at your own words.
It wasn't as if you could simply call or text him. Despite spending weeks at the church, Fr. Jeon had never given you his number, and you had never found the courage to ask for it. Perhaps it was because you preferred seeing him in person.
The idea of receiving his answers through a text message whenever you had questions about scripture felt disappointing somehow. You liked sitting across from him, listening to his voice as he patiently explained things to you. You liked the little smiles he gave you, the way his attention never seemed rushed, and the comfort that came with simply being around him.
That day left you unusually sad. It was the first time you hadn't seen him at all. Even when he was busy, he always managed to stop by, if only for a minute. No matter how much work he had, he never missed the opportunity to check on you.
Avoidance.
You came back today...hopeful that you would finally see him again and finally ask where he had been yesterday, you were instead met with confusion when he didn’t appear again. You pouted when you noticed the box of cookies you had left behind was still untouched, exactly where you had placed it.
“That’s odd, he can’t miss a bible reading,” you murmured to yourself, already accustomed to his usual routine. He always visited the church at a certain time to pray quietly and read scripture before continuing his day, and you had grown used to waiting for him during those moments.
But days passed, and he was still nowhere to be seen.
The cookies you had prepared for him began to lose their freshness, and the papers he usually kept neatly on his desk started to gather dust. A strange sense of unease settled in your chest as you tried to understand what had changed.
You asked around the church, speaking to parishioners and volunteers, hoping someone might have seen him or could explain where he had gone. But what you learned nearly broke your heart.
He was still coming to the church every day. He just arrived earlier now.
You had always known his schedule well—he used to visit his office around three in the afternoon, which was why you were always there waiting at that time. You never thought he would suddenly change it without warning.
“T-Thank you,” you managed to say, forcing a small smile when one of the parishioners finally informed you that he had been seeing Fr. Jeon every morning. You were lucky this particular parishioner stayed at the church throughout the day, otherwise you might never have learned the truth.
Still, the information left you disappointed and strangely hurt.
The fact that he was visiting every day but never acknowledged your cookies. The fact that he never even left a note to explain. The fact that you had been waiting for him all this time, dressed in your usual modest dresses, as if your presence alone meant anything to him.
Tears slowly began to gather in your eyes for reasons you couldn’t fully understand. It felt almost like being rejected without a single word, like a quiet heartbreak you hadn’t been prepared for. It seemed as though he was suddenly avoiding you.
“What did I do?” you pouted softly to yourself, walking home with slumped shoulders as you tried to wipe away the tears rolling down your cheeks.
On the way, your thoughts turned over your last interaction with him. Had you been too bold? Had he noticed something in you that you thought you had hidden well? Had he finally realized that your devotion wasn’t as pure as it appeared?
The more you thought about it, the more desperate you became to see him again. And instead of wanting to reveal your true ill intentions, you found yourself wishing the opposite—that he would see how devoted you were, how deeply you admired him, how willingly you would sacrifice your dignity just to remain close to him.
Restraint.
You didn’t know that he had been avoiding you all along, because your sick plan had finally taken effect, his careful restraint crumbling like a rock under pressure.
Fr. Jeon couldn’t bring himself to face you. Even the slightest eye contact felt like it would burn through his skin, your presence alone eating away at whatever remained of his guilt until there was nothing left but discomfort and temptation.
Desperate.
You woke up early that day, preparing yourself carefully so you could see him. The constant overthinking had become unbearable, and you were convinced that seeing him would finally calm your thoughts.
Slowly, you walked through the church halls, your kitten heels clicking softly against the marble floor. Your wandering gaze passed over parishioners and silent figures lost in prayer, the morning air gentle and warm as it settled over your chaotic mind. The scent of the church—fresh flowers and holy water—was oddly soothing as you moved deeper inside.
But as you went further in, you nearly lost your balance when you noticed his office door slightly ajar.
Your heart began to pound in anticipation as you carefully approached. And when you finally looked inside, your eyes widened.
There he was.
In his usual black clerical long-sleeved shirt and roman collar, Fr. Jeon stood looking down at the box of cookies you had left a week ago.
Your heart sank at the realization that he must have seen the box of cookies days ago—and still chose to ignore it.
Taking a steadying breath, you stepped inside and gently closed the door behind you, locking it without hesitation.
“Fr. Jeon,” you said softly.
He looked up immediately, his eyes widening as though he had seen something he shouldn’t have. For a brief moment, he looked almost like he had seen a ghost. His entire body stiffened, tension tightening in his posture as he forced himself upright.
“What are you doing here?” His tone came out sharper than intended, almost accusatory, as he tried to regain control of himself by straightening his clerical collar and adjusting the bridge of his glasses.
You frowned at the reaction, slowly taking a step closer. Something in your chest cracked when you noticed how his expression shifted with each movement you made—his brows tightening, his gaze dropping as if he couldn’t bear to hold it steady on you for too long.
“You didn’t get the cookies I got you,” you said with a small pout, glancing between the box and him as if the answer should have been obvious.
Fr. Jeon bit his lower lip and closed his eyes for a moment, as though needing time to steady himself.
“I was… busy,” he said, his throat tightening as he swallowed hard. He almost stepped back when you moved closer.
You tilted your head at him. “Am I taking too much of your time, Father?” you asked softly, your voice carrying a sad little pout.
Patience.
Fr. Jeon exhaled slowly and heavily, pressing his tongue against the inside of his cheek as if trying to ground himself. Your presence alone seemed to shut down every carefully built wall he had been maintaining.
He looked down at your sad pout, and something in him nearly cracked at the sight of your sadness. For a moment, his composure faltered as fantasies surged back in, uninvited and overwhelming.
For the past few days, he had been deliberately avoiding you. He had started arriving at the church earlier, knowing you always came in the afternoon, carefully timing his routines so he would not run into you. He avoided his office as well, because every corner of it reminded him of you.
But this morning, he had come in anyway.
And the first thing he saw was the box of cookies you had left behind… along with a small note that said you missed him.
Desire.
For the past few nights, he had been jerking his cock non-stop. Ever since that first time, he couldn’t shake the feeling, couldn’t resist the urge to return to it again and again—groaning your name under his breath like a sacred prayer.
“No, sweetheart… I’m just—”
“I’m sorry… I just really like it here, and I love talking to you,” you said in a soft tone, stepping closer until he could smell your vanilla perfume, your pleading eyes pulling him deeper into your orbit.
Fr. Jeon swallowed harshly, his pulse quickening at how sweet and beautiful you looked for him.
“Sweetheart—”
“Would you like me to leave?” you asked quietly, biting your lower lip.
His eyes dropped to your lips. His hands curled into fists, every passing second testing his hard-earned faith and devotion.
But no...he would rather endure the torment alone, rather than risk touching your beautiful, tempting soul.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t give you much of my time right now. I’ve been really busy—” Fr. Jeon said with finality.
Suddenly, you rose onto your tiptoes to meet his height and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.
“It’s okay, Father… I understand,” you whispered, your lips lingering dangerously close to his.
Succumbed.
Before you could pull away, his hands slid to your waist, steadying you—holding you in place more firmly than expected. You were about to look at him in confusion when he suddenly crashed his lips into yours.
Your eyes widened, your body nearly falling backward, but he held you firmly in place. His kiss was harsh and desperate—like a man starved, and you were the only water in a burning desert.
His tongue forced its way into your mouth, and the sound of his low groan sent shivers down your spine.
His brows were furrowed tightly, every bit of pent-up frustration spilling into the kiss. It was rough, consuming—his control slipping as he pulled you deeper into it, saliva beginning to spill messily between your mouths from how intensely he claimed your lips.
When he finally pulled away, his pupils were blown wide. His lips were red and swollen, his chin damp with both of your saliva.
He released your waist almost instantly, as though you had burned him.
Swallowing hard, he stared down at your flushed cheeks and swollen lips.
Oh God. What had he done?
“W-What—” you stammered, bewildered, still in shock at how easily Fr. Jeon—a priest with such a good reputation….had fallen into your lips like a man undone by weakness and lust.
Surrendered.
When you saw him step back, his brows furrowing as if he had just realized what he had done, you immediately grabbed his arms.
“I—I’m sorry, this is blasphemous, I—”
You pulled him back and kissed him again, softer this time. “I like you, Fr. Jeon. Please don’t avoid me,” you almost pleaded, tugging him down so you could reach his lips again.
His eyes widened. He shook his head immediately. “Y/N, n-no… this is wrong,” he blurted weakly, trying to grab your wrists as you pulled him closer.
Hearing those words from your mouth struck something deep in him, shaking his resolve. He couldn’t fall for you, he couldn’t kiss you, he couldn’t touch you...he couldn’t even think about you.
The only solution was to stay away—to pretend none of this had ever happened.
You shook your head. “Please, I want you so badly… there’s nothing wrong with this,” you insisted, trying to kiss him again, but he turned away. His eyes were heavy-lidded, weakened, the air in the office suddenly suffocating.
“You make me happy, Fr. Jeon… please,” you pleaded.
He shook his head firmly. “I am a priest, Y/N. This is forbidden,” he said weakly, his voice low and rough—like every word cost him something, like it was painful to say.
“But...why did you kiss me?” you pleaded.
Fr. Jeon groaned under his breath, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard.
“Do you like me too, Fr. Jeon?” you pushed further, stepping closer, watching how much it seemed to strain him.
“Y/N, this is wrong—”
Your lips parted. “You...you like me,” you concluded when he didn’t deny it.
A small smile formed on your lips at the confirmation. Suddenly, the past few weeks made sense—the distance, the avoidance, the restraint. Everything clicked into place.
When he weakly let go of your wrists, you immediately wrapped your arms around his neck, as if he had finally surrendered to you. His lips parted, his eyes clouded and hazy.
“Since when, Father?” you whispered, your fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.
He shut his eyes tightly. The feeling of your hands on him was already enough to send him spiraling. His lack of physical affection was becoming obvious in the way his body reacted—his restraint slipping under something as simple as your soft, shallow touch.
“The first time I saw you at the church,” he whispered so low you almost didn’t catch it, as though even admitting it was a sin.
You gasped, your eyes widening at the revelation that he had noticed you from the very beginning.
“I-I thought… you didn’t recognize me. Y-You were always so busy and—”
“I did,” he cut in softly, his voice rough. “But it’s impure of me to stare at such beauty. I cannot do that.”
His gaze dropped to your lips again, weak and conflicted.
You gasped, a fond grin forming on your beautiful face. “Indeed, that’s very impure of you…Father,” you giggled.
Fr. Jeon groaned, attempting to step back again, but this time you pulled him closer and kissed him without hesitation. When you tried to part his lips with yours, you felt him shake his head, his hands gripping your waist to hold you back.
“N-No… we can’t—”
“Shh... it’s okay, Father… we’ll keep this a secret,” you whispered like a little devil in disguise, your pouty lips brushing against his again. “No one will know…”
Fr. Jeon groaned, your words sending shivers down his spine. The tension between restraint and desire tightened further.
“No, sweetheart, this is wrong… we should—”
“Please, Father…I’m already so wet.” you mumbled softly, looking at him with pleading eyes.
His eyes widened. It had been a long time since he had heard such crude words—especially coming from a pretty mouth like yours.
“T-That’s—” he stammered, his composure slipping further under the weight of you.
“Unholy?” you giggled, taking his right hand and guiding it beneath your long skirt.
His lips parted when his fingers brushed against the wet fabric of your underwear. His cheeks and ears burned red at the realization of how aroused you were.
You bit your lip, rising onto your tiptoes to whisper against his ear.
“No one will know.” you dragged your tongue along the shell of it, smiling when you heard him let out a soft, broken sound.
Blasphemous.
His lips grazed your inner thighs as his once devout, God-bound gaze now fixed on your bare, wet pussy. He knelt before you like you were some immaculate saint.
“Y-You’re so beautiful,” he said breathlessly, his fingers parting your folds and gently pulling back your hood to expose your sensitive clit.
You gasped loudly when he spat onto your center, his soft lips immediately wrapping around your clit, sucking in both his saliva and your wetness.
“Oh, God,” you moaned.
Fr. Jeon looked almost sacred between your thighs. Your skirt was bunched at your waist just enough for him to fully indulge in your pussy, while his black clerical shirt began to stain from how much you were dripping onto him. His glasses had grown slightly fogged from the heat of his breath against your body and the warmth between your legs.
He ate your pussy like a starving man, unable to get enough. His tongue pushed inside your tight cunt in search of more, drawing more juices from you, while the obscene sounds of his mouth filled the room. His throat worked with every swallow, adam’s apple bobbing as he greedily took in every drop you gave him.
“You taste so good,” he mumbled between your thighs, the vibration of his voice sending pleasure straight to your core.
You bit your lip, giggling softly while trying to keep your balance—you were leaning against his desk.
“Do you like how wet it is?” you asked, looking down at him as if amused by how much he was enjoying himself.
Fr. Jeon nodded against your cunt. “So wet and pretty,” he mumbled, sucking your clit until his cheeks hollowed, his dimples showing each time he latched on harder.
The way he ate you out was wet and messy, continuously spitting as his lips stayed locked around your clit. You gasped when he pinched your folds together, trying to eat your entire pussy into his warm mouth.
Every time you squirmed, he tightened his grip on your thighs, groaning under his breath as if he wanted to drown himself in you completely.
Whenever he pulled back to breathe, he took a moment to stare at your swollen, messy cunt—admiring it like something sacred, something almost holy in its beauty. He whispered how ethereal it was before spitting on it again and diving back in hungrily.
“H-How come you’re so good at that?” you moaned, looking down at his mouth as he remained relentless, your juices dripping down his chin.
Fr. Jeon looked up at you, adjusting the glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. “I’ve fantasized about this,” he said with a smile. “I imagine devouring your cunt while I jerk off my cock.”
He pressed a light kiss to the top of your clit before burying his face against you again.
Your eyes rolled back at the confession, a small smirk playing on your lips. “Hmm... really? That’s ungodly, Father.”
Fr. Jeon only groaned, pressing his face deeper until you were certain he could barely breathe. “I’m only willing to surrender myself to you.”
You gasped. The way he said it felt so wrong, so forbidden, and your pussy throbbed at the thought of him willingly committing such sinful acts, of him literally being on his knees for you.
When he felt your wetness growing, he lifted his head slightly to look at your cunt. Using his index and middle finger, he spread you open, watching as more of your milky-white juices gathered.
Fr. Jeon groaned, swallowing hard at the sight of how wet and horny you had become.
“You like that, sweetheart?”
He gathered your juices, the pads of his fingers sliding down your slit and making you flinch. Your breath caught when you watched him scoop your cum onto his fingers and bring them to his mouth, tasting your sweetness. "You got so much wetter."
“Fr. Jeon, oh my—”
He continued gathering the excess wetness, scooping up your cum until he was satisfied that you were no longer dripping. His brows furrowed as he sucked the collected juices from his fingers, unwilling to let any of it go to waste.
When he finally gathered the last drop, you frowned as he rose to his feet.
For a moment, you thought he was done. Then he brought his fingers, coated with your cum, up to your mouth.
“Open up, sweetheart.” he whispered, his gaze lowering to your lips, swollen from how hard you had been biting them.
You slowly opened your mouth, moaning when he slid his fingers inside so you could taste your own juices mixed with traces of his saliva.
“You taste like sin, don’t you?” he said softly, his fingers twirling inside your mouth, nearly making you gag.
You sucked on his fingers, your cheeks hollowing eagerly as you looked up at him with expectant eyes. “Mhm. I want to taste how pure you are, then,” you said softly, sucking his fingers the way you imagined sucking his cock.
His cock twitched inside his slacks, precum already gathering at the swollen tip.
He immediately shook his head. “Want to make you cum first, sweetheart.”
Before you could protest, he was already kneeling again, his tongue out as he buried his face between your thighs as though his life depended on it. His nose brushed against your swollen clit while his tongue alternated between slow, deliberate licks and eager suction, determined to draw every reaction from you.
The moment he sensed you were getting close, he pushed his tongue deeper, determined to suck every drop. You were about to push him away from the sudden wave of oversensitivity, but his grip on you tightened.
"I wanna swallow it, please."
You bit down hard on your lip, whispering curses beneath your breath as your body tensed. Your pussy pulsed uncontrollably, heat rushing through you as release overtook your senses.
He groaned at the way your body responded to him, your pussy throbbing vigorously against his tongue.
“I-I want to pleasure you too,” you almost cried.
He didn't stop eating you, even after you came he was sucking your pussy again. He had already made you cum several times just by eating you out. Even after your fifth orgasm, he still hadn’t stopped—still devouring you, drawing out every last drop before spitting it back down onto your slit, pulling your folds apart just to watch it drip, then catching it again with his tongue as if he couldn’t get enough.
You were already overstimulated, your thighs burning from his tight grip, but every time you looked down at him, another wave of arousal surged through you. His brows were furrowed, his eyes closed, almost as if he were praying.
“Please, I want to eat your pussy more.” he mumbled, looking up at you through his glasses, his tongue teasing slow circles around your very swollen clit.
It had been hours. His knees were already red from kneeling, and your back ached from leaning against his desk, yet he still had the stamina to continue, again and again. His cheeks and chin were slick from your cum.
You could see his slacks straining…his arousal obvious beneath the fabric—but he remained focused, almost pleading when you tried to push him away, his mouth still following your spent pussy as if he couldn’t let go.
“Please… one more, sweetheart,” he begged, his thumb soothing along your inner thighs.
When you shyly nodded, he parted your legs further, scooping up what remained of your release as it dripped down. His face pressed in close, his nose brushing against you as he worked, the carpet below you already damp with a mixture of saliva and your arousal.
Unholy.
The once-simple afternoon bible sessions had turned into something far more profane.
The moment you arrived at his office and locked the door behind you, his hands were immediately around you. He would drop to his knees, pushing your panties aside so he could press his face against your wet slit, sniffing your cunt before his tongue slipped out to taste your wetness.
“Hmm… do you like my pussy, Fr. Jeon?” you whispered, fingers tangling in his hair as he indulged you.
He groaned against you, burying his face deeper. “Like it so much.”
He was always so desperate—needy, almost whiny. It was obvious how deeply his years of abstinence had affected him, how long he had denied himself even the thought of such intimacy.
Every touch carried the weight of that restraint, as though all those years of self-denial had finally found an outlet. The way he ate your pussy for hours without stopping, the way he would suck your breasts until they turned swollen and red.
Every time you tried to touch him, he would pin your hands down instead. You had never really touched him yet—he always insisted on giving first, on worshipping you instead. He would say that pleasing you was enough,that eating your cum was enough for him, that devoting himself to your body was what satisfied him most.
“Shh, sweetheart… please be quiet.” he pleaded, his middle and index finger pushing inside your cunt, knuckles deep while massaging your spongy spot.
You were certain his fingers were already wrinkled from how long he had been fingering you, your nipples swollen and sensitive from how harshly he had been sucking them while rubbing your clit.
You bit your lip, tears almost forming in your eyes from how good it felt. “S-sorry, it’s just so good,” you mumbled incoherently.
Fr. Jeon groaned. “Yeah?” He spat down where his fingers met your pussy. “Hear that, sweetheart? You’re so wet for me.” he muttered, biting your nipple harshly while his fingers continued going in and out of your wet cunt, the sounds echoing inside the church office.
You were always a whining mess. Even if he hadn’t fucked you yet, your body was constantly left exhausted from how intensely he made you cum repeatedly. Your legs were always wobbly and shaking after each round, and you would always come home with new hickeys and bruises left by his harsh mouth.
He had the stamina to go on for hours and hours, until the entire afternoon was filled with nothing but wet sounds and your filthy moans echoing through his office.
You wanted to return the pleasure so badly, but every time he begged you to eat your pussy, your knees would go weak. You always gave him what he wanted, opening your legs and spreading your cunt for him.
It was one afternoon when you decided that you wanted to please him.
He was busy sucking on your nipples when you noticed how hard he was beneath his slacks. Your eyes rolling back when you saw him almost humping the air.
With a determined groan, you gently pushed him away from you. Your nipples were already pink and swollen.
“Let me taste you,” you pleaded, pressing a kiss to his cheek before trailing down his jaw.
He protested again, trying to guide you back against the couch.
“Sweetheart—”
“Please, Father.” you begged. “You always make me cum so good. I think I’d cum even harder if I got to taste your cock.”
You couldn’t deny that he always left you more than satisfied, constantly pushing you to the edge of overstimulation. Every time it happened, you could see just how hard his cock was. Sometimes, you would even catch the subtle movements of his hips while he was buried between your thighs, completely consumed by pleasuring you.
Fr. Jeon licked his lower lip, as though contemplating whether he could truly accept the idea of you being on your knees for him. It felt like too much to bear, as if he wasn’t ready for it yet. Shamefully, he was certain he would cum the moment your lips touched his tip.
But seeing you like this—begging, your lips drawn into a sweet pout—made his resolve weaken. His eyes fluttered shut helplessly as you eagerly knelt in front of him.
“Sweetheart,” he rasped, swallowing hard.
You looked up at him before slowly leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss against the bulge beneath his slacks.
A harsh groan escaped him. His cock throbbed beneath the fabric, and that simple, innocent kiss was almost enough to make him stumble.
When you pulled down his zipper, you gasped audibly at the sight of his black boxers, already soaked with a large patch of wetness from his precum.
“You’re leaking, Father,” you said with a pout, looking up at him with sparkling eyes.
He sucked in a breath, his hands curling into fists as he struggled to compose himself. You looked beautiful and completely undignified at the same time, and it was becoming harder and harder for him to resist.
Slowly, you tugged down his boxers...just enough to tuck his balls and free his hard cock.
Your eyes widened.
He was huge and pretty, twitching on his own and curving upward. Thick veins ran along his shaft, and his swollen pink tip glistened with precum.
You licked your lower lip, unable to hide your anticipation at the sight of him. Leaning forward, you pressed a soft kiss to the wet tip.
A strained whimper escaped him.
His hands immediately grabbed the sides of his clerical shirt, as though physically restraining himself from losing control over something as simple as your lips touching him.
“Look at me when I suck you, Fr. Jeon.” you said, raising a brow when you noticed him avoiding eye contact.
He bit his lower lip, trying to look down at you.
You gasped when his cock twitched the moment you made eye contact.
With a teasing look, you slowly sucked his mushroom tip while keeping your eyes on him, fluttering your lashes as you took him into your warm mouth.
He groaned harshly. He was about to close his eyes, but you shook your head immediately.
“Eyes on me, please.”
“Oh, God,” he whimpered, looking down at you through heavy-lidded eyes as you eagerly sucked his leaking tip.
You swirled your tongue along the underside of his cock, his eyes rolling back every time you repeated the motion. When you finally pulled away, you spat on the tip, your fingers immediately spreading your saliva and his precum along the shaft, leaving him even wetter and messier.
“Do you like how I kneel for you?” you asked before taking his tip into your mouth again, trying to take him deeper until his mushroom head brushed the back of your throat. The upward curve of his cock dragged against the roof of your mouth, drawing another whimper from him.
“Y-You look like a slut,” he blurted out through a moan, his jaw repeatedly tensing, his knuckles turning white from how tightly he was fisting his shirt.
You looked up at him and nodded obediently...like a good girl seeking praise.
He bit his lower lip. “My pretty slut.”
Fr. Jeon was trying so hard not to come. He wanted to savor the feeling of your tight mouth around him for as long as possible, wanted to hold on to it, to prolong it, but you were simply too much..too pretty, too warm. Every time you took him deeper, his resolve weakened a little more.
Your eyes were already beginning to redden, your throat struggling to accommodate his thickness. Drool slipped messily down your chin, and the wet, obscene sounds coming from your mouth only pushed him closer to the edge. Each swallow, each desperate attempt to take more of him, made his chest tighten with pleasure, his restraint slipping further and further away.
Whenever you pulled back to catch your breath, you would stroke his cock quickly with your hands and spit messily onto his tip.
Before the saliva could slide down his length, you would take him back into your mouth, licking along his shaft and tracing the prominent veins with your tongue before returning to the swollen underside of his head with soft, teasing kitten licks.
Using your free hand, you reached up to cup his balls gently, applying just enough pressure to make him whimper. The movement only made it harder for him to hold himself together, especially as you continued gagging on his cock like a good little slut.
The moment you noticed him clutching his shirt again, you immediately grabbed his hand.
“Use my mouth, Father,” you whispered, guiding his hand to your hair, silently urging him to take control.
Fr. Jeon groaned and shook his head, but your eagerness never wavered. You paused, waiting patiently for him, your eyes fixed on his face.
The moment you placed your hands obediently behind your back, he nearly cursed the Lord himself.
He weakly dragged a hand through your hair, gathering it away from your face before pulling you a little closer. His jaw tightened as he looked down at you, every ounce of restraint tested by the sight of your quiet obedience.
Grabbing your hair with both hands, he guided your face toward him before finally rolling his hips, slowly thrusting into your waiting mouth.
“God, you really are a slut,” he moaned, his composure unraveling a little more with every passing second.
Whenever he pulled back, you would twirl your tongue around the underside of his crown, earning a shaky whimper from him. Then, he would push you down forcefully onto his cock, your nose hitting his pubic hair as he lost whatever restraint he had left.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, sweetheart,” he whimpered.
Your mouth was already growing tired, but you remained determined, refusing to pull away. Tears gathered in your eyes and slipped down your cheeks as you struggled to keep up with him, yet you stayed exactly where he wanted you.
When he saw the tears in your eyes, he almost stopped.
But you eagerly took him deeper, deliberately pushing forward until your face was pressed flush against his pubic hair. Your mouth struggled to accommodate his thickness, soft gargling sounds escaping despite your efforts to suppress them, yet you took everything he gave you.
“God, fuck.” his eyes rolled back as he released hot, thick cum into your mouth.
He was about to push you away when your hands tightened around the backs of his thighs, holding him firmly in place...determined not to let a single drop of his cum go to waste.
“Sweetheart,” he said weakly.
When you finally pulled away- his cock slipping from your lips, you stuck out your tongue to show him his thick, milky cum. Your lashes fluttered as you held his gaze for a moment, letting him take in the sight before you swallowed.
Delirious.
“The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Fr. Jeon stood before the congregation, one hand resting lightly against the pulpit as he prepared to proclaim the gospel.
“A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Matthew.”
“Glory to You, O Lord,” you whispered under your breath, your sparkling eyes lifted up toward him.
You were in your usual favorite spot—in the front row, like his favorite little church girl—your hair tied with a white ribbon, a long modest dress hiding the sinful image beneath.
Every time he spoke, his eyes never lingered on you. He looked over the crowd like a devoted priest, delivering his words slowly, with quiet passion. And whenever he did happen to find you in the congregation, he would only glance past you, as if you were anyone else.
You smirked inwardly. Who would’ve known that this same priest was literally begging on his knees to eat your pussy inside the church office?
When Holy Communion came, you made sure to open the first few buttons of your dress, revealing the rosary necklace you were wearing—the small cross resting between the plush curve of your cleavage.
“The Body of… Christ,” Fr. Jeon said slowly, his eyes drifting down to the rosary wrapped around your neck, the cross sitting dangerously above your breasts.
“Amen,” you said softly, parting your lips for him.
You almost smiled in quiet victory when you saw his jaw tighten—his composure slowly, subtly fracturing beneath the weight of your sacrilegious act.
When he placed the host on your tongue, you leaned in just slightly too far, letting your tongue brush against his thumb in a fleeting, deliberate touch. So small it could be denied. So intentional it could not be mistaken.
A soft hum escaped you as you pulled back, watching the shift in him—the way his body stilled, the way his breath caught. You were already turning away when his voice followed you, low and controlled.
“Meet me after this.”
You looked up at him, briefly thrown, but his gaze had already returned to the ritual at hand, as if nothing had happened.
Delight curled through you at the sight of him unraveling so carefully in public, holding himself together by force alone while you watched the cracks form in real time.
And when you returned to your seat, you could still feel it—the difference. His voice had deepened into something sharper, more distant. His posture stiffened as he finished the mass, each word now measured, restrained, as though he were forcing himself back into place one line at a time.
Wicked.
Sitting properly on the couch in his office, you waited patiently for Fr. Jeon. It was the first time you would see each other up close after mass, and the thought alone made a soft, bubbling excitement bloom in your chest.
You even brought a small box of cookies for him, carefully balanced in your lap, as if sweetness alone could disguise the anticipation curling beneath your ribs.
When the office door finally opened, you looked up at once and smiled.
He stood there still in his liturgical vestments. Over his white alb, he wore a flowing chasuble that draped heavily over his shoulders, embroidered gold catching the afternoon light that spilled through the glass windows like something almost sacred in itself. A white stole rested beneath it all, marking him clearly as the celebrant of the mass, a figure meant to be untouchable.
He looked absolutely breathtaking—so holy, so distant, so unreachable.
And yet, you already had him like a servant—willing, obedient, on his knees for you.
When he walked toward you, his expression was serious and unyielding. You stood up quickly, excitement lifting you, holding out your small gift for him.
“Good afternoon, Fr. Jeon. I got you cooki—”
The cookies slipped from your hands as he suddenly closed the distance, his hand wrapping around your throat. The rosary beads pressed sharply into your skin.
“I told you...that rosaries are not meant to be worn around your neck, didn’t I?” he said in a mocking tone, his voice low and controlled. His eyes looked darker behind his glasses.
His liturgical vestments suddenly felt overwhelming in this close space, no longer distant or ceremonial, but imposing, almost suffocating, as if you were only now realizing the weight of him in this proximity.
You gasped as his fingers tightened slightly around your throat, not enough to hurt—just enough to demand an answer.
“Y-You did, Father.”
“Mhm. I did,” he murmured, tilting his head slightly. “Didn’t I?”
A shiver ran down your spine as you felt the shift in him—how his composure had snapped so suddenly, as if the thin thread of his restraint, stretched in the presence of the Lord, had finally given way.
Dominance.
You gasped when he kissed you hard, cutting off your breath in an instant. His other hand bunched up the long skirts of your dress, hot palms slipping beneath the fabric to cup your warm pussy.
“You’re so impure,” he chuckled darkly, his fingers tracing over your clothed clit.
A soft moan escaped you as you tried to wriggle in his hold, but his grip at your throat kept you firmly in place.
“Sit on my desk and spread your legs,” he commanded, releasing you all at once—both your throat and your pussy.
With shaky legs, you moved toward his desk, climbing onto it and bunching your long skirt up around your waist before slowly spreading your legs wide for him.
Fr. Jeon walked toward you, his gaze fixed on the sight of you—so openly willing for him. The rosary cross rested between your breasts like a sin made visible, the white ribbons in your hair now looking almost tainted, your dress bunched up enough to expose your wet cunt to him.
His fingers closed around the rosary you were wearing. Your breath hitched as he slowly pulled it, forcing your neck to tilt forward with the motion.
“You’re such a whore, wearing this around me,” he said in a condescending tone, drawing you closer until he pressed a shallow kiss to your lips.
“I-Isn’t it pretty?” you asked weakly, still trying to tease him.
He let out a humorless chuckle. Without another word, he reached for the scripture on his desk. “I’ll show you what’s pretty.”
You gasped as he pulled the rosary again, forcing you forward while his other hand held the bible. “Open your mouth.”
Confused, you slowly obeyed, your eyes widening when he suddenly placed the book between your teeth.
“Hold still and bite the scripture,” he commanded sharply before spreading your legs wider.
You bit down hard on the book as he suddenly slapped your cunt.
“Mhmp!” you whimpered, eyes watering from the intensity of it.
Fr. Jeon raised a brow. He lifted his hand, bringing his fingers to his mouth and sucking them clean, his gaze locked on you as he slowly dragged his tongue over them. You bit down harder on the book when he used his saliva-coated fingers to slap your cunt again.
“Shh, quiet, sweetheart… there are other people outside- praying,” he said mockingly, tugging lightly on the rosary around your neck.
You bit down harder when he slapped your cunt again, pulling harshly on the rosary around your neck whenever your whimpers escaped.
“Poor baby… you want me to finger you?” he cooed, slapping your cunt once more. Your panties were already soaked, your arousal building from the relentless stimulation.
You eagerly nodded, drool spilling past your lips and onto the scripture beneath you. Your neck was beginning to ache and swell each time he tugged on the beads.
“Do you deserve it?” he asked, twirling the rosary between his fingers, playing with it slowly.
A tear slipped down your cheek when he slapped your cunt again. Your thighs tried to wriggle on the table, but he only pulled harder on the rosary in response.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m finally going to give you what you want,” he said, letting go of you.
Your eyes almost rolled back when you saw him kneel.
You drooled messily against the book when he flipped your panties aside, three of his fingers immediately slipping inside you to stretch your cunt.
“So tight, sweetheart,” he chuckled, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your clit while his fingers continued to thrust inside you.
Each time his fingers pulled back, a fresh gush of wetness spilled out, revealing just how needy and aroused you were.
Looking down, you saw how godly he looked—kneeling so close to your pussy, lips parted as he watched his fingers disappear in and out of your tight hole.
“Mhmph,” you whimpered, his fingers knuckles deep inside you, brushing against your spongy spot and leaving you wriggly and tingly.
“You’re so soaked, sweetheart. It’s so hard to rub you properly like this… so, so wet.”
When he saw how restless you were getting, he suddenly removed his fingers. You were about to frown when he stood up, your eyes widening as he began removing his chasuble and slacks.
“This is what you wanted, right?” he taunted, finally revealing his hard cock.
It was already thick and hard, twitching on its own before he even touched it. Prominent veins pulsed along the girth, and his mushroom tip looked swollen and flushed. Using his fingers, he squeezed the plump head, drawing out more precum before spreading it along the shaft. He slowly rolled the foreskin down, his gaze fixed on your helpless body.
“Do you want this cock inside your tight little pussy?” he said breathily, jerking his hard cock in his hand…his eyes were heavy-lidded, lips slightly parted.
You nodded eagerly, tears spilling down your cheeks from anticipation. Your pussy pulsed hard, leaking more of your arousal down onto the table beneath you.
He chuckled, gripping both of your thighs and spreading them wider for him. “Hold your skirt up, sweetheart,” he murmured, as your long skirt kept drifting down while he positioned you.
With weak hands, you slowly bunched your skirt up. Your jaw was already aching from biting down on the book, but you were determined to be a good girl for him, biting down harder as your eyes turned red and your cheeks flushed, warm and swollen.
When he positioned his mushroom tip against your slit, you almost dropped the book. The feeling of his wet cock against your folds sent a sharp jolt through you.
“Gonna fuck you now, sweetheart,” he whispered, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your forehead.
Your teeth nearly ached from how hard you bit down when he suddenly pushed inside you. Your tight walls immediately sucked him in. You watched his lips part in shock, his eyes rolling back for a moment—before he could even thrust, you felt him spilling inside you.
“Fuck, sweetheart,” he cursed under his breath, trembling as he suddenly came so hard inside you, his lips parting at how good your pussy felt.
You were so warm and tight that he was already convulsing. His grip on your waist tightened so hard it was almost painful. You were shocked—you hadn’t expected him to cum that quickly, but then again, it had been so long since he’d done anything like this. The pent-up frustration was overwhelming, and the moment he felt you, he was already shaking.
When you saw him trembling, you slowly removed the book from your lips. Your jaw ached, but you still managed to give him a small, weak smile.
“Mhm, am I tight, Fr. Jeon?” you whispered weakly, feeling him twitch inside you, filling you with so much cum that it had you feeling completely full.
"T-Too tight." he groaned.
His arms were growing weaker, still trying to push his cum deeper and deeper into your cunt. His cock was already overstimulated and softening, but he still wanted his cum buried deep inside you, some of it already dripping down your thighs.
He groaned, pushing his cock deeper until he was finally hard again. You could feel his mushroom tip swell once more, your pussy stretching around his thickening girth.
“You feel so good,” he whispered, eyes heavy-lidded as he looked down at you. He had come so hard he had nearly forgotten about the book he made you bite down on, his rational thoughts slipping away completely, leaving only the heat and the feeling of you.
You bit your lip, opening your legs wider. “Yeah? Do you miss having such a warm pussy around your cock?”
His lips parted...his right hand returned to your neck, fingers wrapping around your throat.
“What a dirty mouth you have,” he whispered breathily, like he was only just remembering why he was fucking you so hard in the first place.
He squeezed your throat, earning a loud whimper from you.
Before you could coo at him, he was already flipping you over, bending you against his desk. He immediately grabbed the book, shoving it forcefully into your mouth.
“You think I’m done, huh?” he taunted, kneeling down behind you.
You groaned, biting down on the scripture again, whimpering loudly when you felt him spreading your wet pussy from behind.
“Push my cum out for me,” he said, opening your folds and waiting for you to push it out.
You contracted your pussy, and a gush of his milky white cum spilled from your used hole. Before it could even drip onto the floor, his tongue was already there, scooping it up and swallowing everything until no trace was left.
When he stood up, you were left a trembling mess. Your eyes widened as he pulled on the rosary necklace, the beads wrapping around your throat like a collar. He used it as leverage before pushing his cock back inside you.
“Shh… bite down on the scripture. Let it silence your impurity,” he murmured behind you, thrusting deeper and harder until your body was nearly bouncing against the table from the force of it.
You wanted to moan so badly. The way his mushroom tip kept brushing against your g-spot felt so overwhelming. When he angled his hips in slow circular motions, your weak lips finally dropped the book, and you gasped as it hit the floor with a dull thud.
The moment he felt you slipping out of control, he stopped—only for you to immediately reach for the book. Before you could even grab it, he flipped you onto your back again.
“Fucking whore, can’t follow simple instructions while my cock’s deep inside you, huh?” he taunted, ripping the buttons of your dress just enough to expose your breasts.
“I-I’m sorry, I—”
You shrieked loudly when he suddenly slapped your nipples, the area turning immediately pink.
“Stay there,” he commanded.
You went still at once, your weak eyes following his movements as he reached into the bottom cabinet of his desk.
When he stood up again, he was holding a candle and a box of matches. “Hold this, sweetheart.”
He usually used those candles during scripture readings, letting the flame illuminate the pages.
You held it for him as instructed, watching as he struck a match and lit it, the small flame flickering to life before he set the match aside.
You turned slightly, glancing toward the window. There was still daylight outside—enough to see clearly. Before you could ask what he needed it for, he took the candle from your hand.
“Fr. Jeon, w-what are you—”
Your eyes widened when he tilted the candle downward, the wax threatening to drip onto your breasts. You gasped sharply when it finally landed on your nipple.
“Does it feel good?” he whispered, lowering the candle toward the other bud.
When the hot wax fell onto your other nipple, you moaned loudly, your hands gripping the edge of the desk as pain and pleasure collided.
It was hot and shocking—yet, for some reason, the sting felt addictive, almost intoxicating.
“Y-Yes, Father.” you bit your lower lip hard, watching as the candle was now directed toward your inner thighs.
He raised a brow, your nipples already covered in white wax. “Yeah? Does this get you wet?”
Before you could answer, he was already pouring hot wax onto your left inner thigh. The pain there was sharper, more intense—like the skin was far more delicate and sensitive. When you instinctively tried to close your legs, he held them open, spreading you wider as he moved the candle to drip more wax onto your right inner thigh.
“Oh, God,” you moaned loudly, the hot wax dripping dangerously close to your wet pussy.
You were already trembling. The mix of heat and pain felt overwhelming yet addictive, tears falling uncontrollably down your cheeks.
Fr. Jeon chuckled at you. “What a pretty little pain slut… I’m supposed to punish you with this, but you’re dripping like a whore.”
He grabbed your cheeks, raising the candle up toward your face. “Make a wish,” he whispered.
You looked up at him with weak eyes, your nipples and inner thighs still burning and oversensitive from the wax. With a faint, shaky smile, you told him your wish.
“Fuck me like a slut, Fr. Jeon." you said breathily.
He growled harshly, stepping back a little to admire his work on your body, how the wax was covering your skin like a sin, how your pussy was so swollen and red, yet your hole was still eagerly twitching to be used.
He tilted his head. “You want that, sweetheart?” he said sweetly, his tone contradicting what he had just done to you.
You nodded eagerly. "Please, use my body like a whore, cum inside me until I’m dripping full of your cum, abuse my tight little pussy until I’m all loose and gaping, release all your forbidden frustrations and destroy my dignity.”
Fallen.
You couldn’t count the number of times you came around his cock that night—his cock thrusting so hard and deep inside you that you could feel how stretched your pussy was.
Every time you tried to fight him, he would push your body down onto the desk, threatening to silence you with scripture whenever you tried to break free from his hold.
When you thought he was done, he would maneuver your body again, spreading your legs wide so he could fuck you hard. His cross necklace would dangle in your face with every thrust. Whenever you moaned too loudly, he would punish you by dripping hot wax onto your inner thighs.
He would always condescendingly praise you, telling you what a poor little girl you were, letting him use you for his own sick pleasure.
"God, you'd let me use you whenever I want wouldn't you? Letting me fuck this tight pussy inside the church, like a good little christian." he would whisper.
It was so lewd when he asked you to touch yourself using the hand that wore his birthstone bracelet, urging you to part your lips for him, watching how the beads would brush over your clit every time you fucked your fingers inside your used, swollen hole.
"That's right...stretch your pussy, sweetheart. I want you nice and gaping when I fuck you again."
Then he would pull your body up, forcing you to bounce on his cock while pressing the beads deeper into your throat. He held both of your cheeks with his free hand so he could continually spit into your parted mouth, watching it drip messily down your chin like a cheap filthy whore. "I love how sinful and dirty you are...so perfect for me."
Capitulated.
You never forgot him, after that night he vanished like a wind.
When you heard that he had suddenly been appointed to another city, it felt as though the ground had been pulled from beneath your feet. Overnight, he was simply gone. The weekly sunday mass was no longer presided over by him, and no matter how many people you asked, nobody seemed to have a clear answer as to why.
All you heard were rumors.
Some said he wanted to experience ministry in a different city. Others claimed he had become so busy that he was constantly traveling between churches, handling responsibilities in several places at once. Every explanation sounded vague, rehearsed, and unsatisfying.
You wanted to believe them. But you couldn't.
For months, you carried that bitterness inside you. A part of you convinced yourself that he had simply left. That perhaps everything you shared had meant far less to him than it had to you. The thought hurt more than you cared to admit, especially because, between the two of you, you had been the dishonest one. You had been the one who approached him with hidden intentions, who slowly seduced him, who carefully led him into your snare while pretending to be an innocent church girl.
Yet somewhere along the way, things had changed.
For all your lies, for all your schemes and carefully crafted devotion, you couldn't deny what had happened to your own heart. You had fallen in love with his kindness. Not because he was a priest. Not because he was forbidden. Not because winning his attention felt like a challenge.
But because it was him.
It was the way he remembered small details about you. The way he listened whenever you spoke. The way he always treated people with patience and warmth. Somewhere between the scripture lessons, the afternoon conversations, and the countless boxes of cookies, your feelings had become real.
Then, one afternoon, a letter arrived.
Your hands trembled as you opened it, your heart pounding with a mixture of hope and dread. As your eyes moved across the page, tears immediately gathered in them.
All this time, you had believed he left because he wanted to.
The truth was far worse.
Someone had noticed. Someone had seen the way he treated you differently from everyone else—the way his gaze lingered a little too long, the way his voice softened whenever he spoke to you, the way he always seemed to make time for you no matter how busy he was. And eventually, they had discovered what happened behind the closed doors of the church office.
Tears slipped down your cheeks as you continued reading, your vision blurring with every line. For the first time since he disappeared, you finally understood why he had left.
The moment the parish discovered what had happened, he immediately apologized—to the church, to his superiors, and most of all, to the Lord. He had even offered his resignation, believing he was no longer worthy of his position.
But they refused. The parish forgave him.
They told him he was too kind, too devoted, too valuable to lose over a mistake. Instead of removing him from the priesthood, they gave him a chance to start over in a different city, far away from the rumors and whispers. They told him that what happened was a test of faith. A temptation. That God would always be stronger in his heart than any earthly attachment.
You were the temptation they spoke about.
You never wrote back, you never tried contacting him again. Because if he had truly wanted you, he would have resigned. He would have walked away from the collar, from the church, from the life he had chosen long before you entered it.
He would have chosen you.
Instead, when forced to decide between you and God, he surrendered himself to God. And that answer was enough.
With a deep breath, you entered the confession booth. You wanted to confess your sins, you wanted to move on.
It had been two years, and somehow you were still holding on to him.
Whenever Sana mentioned his name, your eyes would sting with unshed tears. Whenever you heard stories about him…how successful he had become, how respected he was as a priest now…an ache would settle deep inside your chest.
You could no longer step inside a church without thinking about him.
The stained-glass windows, the scent of incense, the quiet hum of prayer before mass. Every sacred thing had become tangled with the memory of him, until devotion and desire were no longer things you could separate.
So, with a heavy heart, you finally decided to let him go.
Sitting inside the confessional that afternoon, your fingers twisted nervously in your lap as you gathered the courage to speak.
A thin wooden partition stood between you, a barrier meant to separate priest from sinner, confession from judgment, devotion from temptation.
“Bless me, Father…. for I have sinned.” you said softly, behind the confession grille.
Your voice…soft and unforgettable, echoed through the small confessional booth.
The familiar scent of vanilla wrapped around him like a memory he had spent years trying to forget.
