Secretly a Virgin || Joel is unaware you're a virgin and gets too rough.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter three
Keeping An Eye Out || Joel becomes protective of his alcoholic neighbors daughter.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
A Brothers Secret || Joel is secretly in love with Tommy's girlfriend and comforts her while he is in jail.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
True Feelings || Joel realizes his feelings for you when Tommy begins to date you.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
A Jealous Game || Tess is jealous with how protective Joel is of you.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Risky Business || After a one night stand with Marlene's daughter, she ends up pregnant.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Pretty Girl || Joel Miller has always ignored the attraction he’s felt towards you, especially being that your father and him are close friends in Jackson. Until one night, Joel doesn’t feel he can ignore what’s in front of him.
Chapter One: Just a Drink
Dancing Girl || Joel catches you dancing alone after a sleepover with Sarah. You soon realize you have a crush on your dad’s bestfriend..
Chapter One
Forbidden Distraction || When someone from your past arrives to Jackson, Joel becomes protective over you, leading to a connection that he never expected to have with you.
Chapter One
Someone to Lean On || A single mom living next to Joel, he finds himself wanting to help you leading to feelings that begin to grow..
Chapter One
Danger Lurking || Coparenting with Joel, he finds out the man you’re newly dating is a danger.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Joel Miller One shots
Joel suffers PTSD accidentally hurting you
After giving birth, Joel is over protective of you
Joel feels guilty after you suffer a miscarriage
Joel notices a man bothering you through his rear view mirror
Joel is assigned to assist a blind woman
You and Joel tell Ellie you're expecting a baby
Joel is forced to take Ellie when his wife is 7 months pregnant
Joel takes care of his girlfriend who suffers from anxiety and depression
Joel feels insecure with his age difference and leaves you only to find out you were SA
Joel reacts in a cruel way when finding out you're pregnant
Sarah is in college and brings home a friend Joel is secretly attracted to
Joel acts like he doesn't like you until he comes across your rapist
Joel finds out you were pregnant and miscarried while he was on a work trip with Tommy
Joel sleeps with his innocent married next door neighbor after fixing her sink.
Joel continues an affair with his innocent neighbor, having a quickie in her backyard while her husband is home.
Joel deals with upsetting his overly sensitive eight month pregnant wife.
During a car ride Joel attempts to hide his erection from you along with feelings he knows he shouldn’t have for his friend’s daughter.
Joel catches you reading smut
Sarah is out of town and asks her father to pick you up from a drunk night out
Joel gets locked out of his house drunk and knocks on your door
Joel triggers your PTSD when he gets drunk
Your drunk ex comes into the Millers bar where you work looking for trouble
Pregnant reader saves Joel from Abby
Joel has a dangerous reputation in the QZ, so when you run into him you are afraid of him until he shows you another side to him.
Joel struggles to fight temptation with Sarah’s bestfriend after he’s forced to share a bed with her.
Joel and you have broken up towards the end of your pregnancy until Sarah convinces you to come to Tommy’s annual Christmas party.
Joel teaches Marlene’s younger sister about how a man cums.
Javier Pena
Javier finds out his ex girlfriend is now dating one of Escobars men and trys to help her.
You are intimate with Javier for the first time after being SA
Javier gets close to you to get information and unexpectedly falls for you
You're a DEA agent who accidentally gets hurt and tries to hide it from Javi
General Marcus Acacius
Forced to marry General Marcus Acacius to save your brother
Hi I’m going to write a new chapter for Wrong Number but first I will post one more request I’ve had waiting, Joel miller growing a soft side for a pregnant reader. Thanks for your patience.
[SUMMARY: You struggle with Joel being so distant and break up with him, he does everything he can to get you back.]
Angst
Joel had always been difficult to reach, he wasn’t cruel to you, never mistreated you..but he was always distant. Sometimes it felt like standing outside a house with all the lights on and knowing someone was inside, but every door remained locked. You tried to be understanding to it, his ways, his habits, but sometimes it became harder than others to just let things be.
He’d brush his fingers against yours while walking through town. He’d quietly hand you the better portion of food without saying a word, he’d stand between you and danger before you even noticed it existed. Joel showed he cared in his own ways, you always noticed this. The problem was that caring was where he stopped, communication was always limited. The closer you got, the further he seemed to be. When he didn’t look fine, he’d insist he was, that was when he’d shut down the most.
Every time you needed reassurance, he’d look at you like you were asking him to translate a language he’d never learned. Yet, you kept trying, kept yourself hopeful that eventually something would change. You knew what he’d gone through and that was only because Tommy told you.
“Joel, talk to me.”
“Nothin’ to talk about.”
“Yes there is..”
“No.”
It happened so often it became routine. You reaching and reaching, him withdrawing. He disappeared further and before you knew it, months turned into years of the same cycle. You somehow convinced yourself to accept the scraps, a hand on your lower back, a kiss before he left.
The occasional “You alright?” muttered while cleaning a rifle. But the words you desperately needed never came.
No “I need you” or “I love you.”
Not even “I’m scared you’ll leave.”
You started telling yourself you didn’t need those things although your heart yearned for it. You convinced yourself that maybe this was simply who Joel was. Maybe loving him meant accepting less.
Until one night you simply couldn’t take it any longer..
You had a terrible day..enough small things piling together until your chest felt too heavy. You found Joel on the porch looking out into the sunset.
“Can I sit with you?” He nodded.
You sat beside him as he remained silent. The silence felt like forever until eventually you whispered-
“I don’t think you know me.”
Joel frowned.
“What?”
“I don’t think you want to.”
His jaw tightened.
“Here we go.” The words hit harder than if he’d yelled.
Here we go.
Like your pain was an inconvenience, as if your heart was a chore. You stared at him lost in thought.
“I’ve spent years trying to let you in.”
“You know me.” He uttered low.
“No.”
Your voice cracked.
“I know what you let me know.”
Joel looked away immediately and that told you everything.
You laughed softly..the kind of laugh that comes right before crying.
“I don’t know what scares you more, Joel. Losing me or needing me.” His face tense, he wouldn’t dare look at you.
“You done?” You froze then slowly nodded.
“Mhm.”
That was the first time you stopped trying..Joel didn’t notice. Not at first.
Avoidant people rarely notice when someone starts pulling away because they’re used to the distance themselves. You stopped asking questions, stopped seeking comfort. You even stopped waiting up for him.
Joel just thought things had finally settled down.No more difficult conversations or emotional confrontations. For a while he actually felt relieved.
Then he noticed you didn’t smile at him anymore.Not a real smile at least..the one that used to light up your entire face. A few weeks later he realized you hadn’t touched him first in over a month.
A month after that he woke up and discovered he couldn’t remember the last time you’d said “I love you.”Something cold settled in his chest, fear..
He ignored it.
Until the night he came home and found a packed bag sitting beside the door.
Joel stared at it, then at you.
“What is that?”
You folded a shirt, not answering him.
His pulse began accelerating.
“What is that?” Finally you looked up and the exhaustion in your eyes nearly stopped his heart.
“I’m leaving.” Joel’s heart sunk.
“What?” He walked towards you.
“I’m leaving, Joel.”
“No.” He responded instantly like a reflex.
“I can’t do this anymore.” Exhaustion in your voice.
“The hell are you talkin’ about? You been fine” he took a step closer, confused, defensive.
You smiled sadly.
“I’ve been fine becuase I haven’t been talking to you. That’s what you consider fine?” You shook your head as if that was all the confirmation you needed.
The realization hit him all at once, you weren’t fine. You had just given up..
“So that’s it huh?” He spoke louder, you could hear the anger in his voice. He was pissed but not at you, at himself.
Every conversation he’d dismissed, every time he’d watched you cry and convinced himself giving you space was enough. Every damn excuse he made.
You wouldn’t respond, swallowing your tears as he watched you, shoulders tense.
“And where the hell you gonna go at this time?”
“Maria said I could stay with her until they find somewhere else for me-“
“My brother?” He cut you off defensively, still you wouldn’t look at him.
“Tommy knew about this?”
“Joel, I just told her about an hour ago.” You spoke softly as you zipped up the bag. A wave of emotions coming over him, anger turned into guilt. Guilt that he had pushed you away…that he made you feel unloved. It couldn’t have been farther from the truth.
You turned placing your bag over your shoulder and that’s when it set in over him…panic. Joel’s expression changed.
“Wait a minute, baby-“ he rushed towards you, his hand brushing over your waist.
“Let’s talk about this, you don’t need to go.” A knot in your throat forming, a look of desperation in his eyes you hadn’t ever seen.
“It’s too late to talk-“
“You don’t mean that, come on, put your bag down. Well- we’ll fix this, whatever you need me to do” He took your hand in his as you slowly shook your head.
“I can’t-“
“The hell do you want me to do dammit?!” He suddenly yelled, anger taking over him, his tone harsher than he meant it to be. Never had he spoken like this to you before.
“The hell you want me to say huh?! What is it?! What do you need from me?!”
“I needed you!” You finally yelled back with tears. You pulled your hand away, Joel stood in shock. Just like that he watched you walk out of his life without turning back..
His chest felt tight, he stumbled slowly towards the wall and placed his back against it. He knew this feeling all too well. The walls feeling like they were caving in, he loosened a button at the top of his shirt as he closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing. His fear becoming a reality.
~~
The first week after you left was the quietest Joel had ever known..your absence followed him everywhere. He hated it. The worst part was at night, he’d reach for you half asleep only to feel the cold sheets beside him.
I needed you.
Joel could hear your voice over and over again saying this, the pain in your voice haunted him.
He sat on his porch long after sunset, staring at the house a few doors down where Tommy and Maria had taken you in. He could see the light from the kitchen window. He could imagine you inside, laughing, safe..without him.
The thought made his chest ache, he looked away trying to shake the image out of his head.
~~
The next morning, Tommy found Joel repairing a fence that didn’t need repairing.
“You fixed that last week.”
Joel hammered another nail.
“It’s loose.”
“It ain’t loose.”
Joel eyes narrowed on him, Tommy sighed.
“Still thinkin’ about her?”
Joel stopped moving.
As if there had been a moment when he wasn’t. He stared silently at the screw.
“I screwed up.”
Tommy nodded.
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t mean to, Tommy. I swear I didn’t” he looked up at his brother who gave him a silent nod.
“She..she ok?”
“She’s not talkin’ much but she’s fine” Tommy responded, Joel looked down pressing his lips together.
“Come on, let’s have a drink, you look like you need one.” He proceeded to turn towards his door.
“I can’t-“
“And why not?”
“She’s-she’s in there ain’t she?”
“She went to check on the horses with Maria, they won’t be back for a bit. Besides I’ll be damned if I can’t have a drink with my own brother in my house” Tommy chuckled as he led the way in.
As soon as Joel walked in he could see your shoes by the door, your favorite indoor slip ons he had found for you brand new a while back. He kept his head down following his brother to the kitchen, hadn’t even noticed his brother was talking till he slammed a cup on the counter before him.
“You there, Joel?” He quickly looked up.
“Huh, yeah. I’m ready”
Tommy laughed as he grabbed the bottle and poured them both a drink. He could see how hurt his brother was, how distracted he was.
“Shit, brother if you can’t let me in, at least let her in. You got yourself a good woman. Not much that would put up with your shit” he smiled before taking a sip. He tried to break a smile out of his brother but it was harder than he thought.
Then they both heard the door open.
Both men turned toward the door to see you and Maria walking in, a smile on your face as you spoke about how being around the horses felt relaxing. How you enjoyed taking care of them. So lost in the conversation you hadn’t noticed Tommy was sitting at the table with someone else across from him, until you looked up. You stopped right in your tracks, your smile instantly disappearing. Joel stood up awkwardly clearing his throat, he knew he wasn’t wanted there. The last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable. He could see Maria giving Tommy a look, a hand on her hip piercing him with her eyes.
“Hey-“ Maria’s eyes softened as she turned to you.
“Let me show you what I was working on earlier” she took your hand and pulled you up the stairs. Joel’s eyes didn’t move from where you had stood, the hurt of the realization that you didn’t even want to look at him. He threw his head back chugging back the last of the alcohol in his cup and slammed the glass down. Without saying a word he walked out.
~~
Maria could see how distracted you were, seeing Joel completely threw you off.
“Sorry about that, I’ll have a talk with Tommy. He should’ve known-“
“No, it’s fine. They’re brothers Maria…don’t say anything. I’m not mad I’m just…I wasn’t expecting to see him.” You stared off into space thinking about how tired he looked. Maybe he was having trouble sleeping again.
Maybe he wasn’t eating right again.
You shook off those thoughts the best you could and sighed.
~~
Joel didn’t step near Tommy’s house for a couple weeks, giving you space but still he could see you from afar when you’d step out.
A few days later Joel showed up at Tommy’s house carrying a basket.
Maria opened the door then blinked with slight confusion.
“Is that bread?”
Joel awkwardly held it up.
You’d once mentioned loving fresh bread. So Joel had spent three miserable hours trying to learn. The loaf looked lopsided, burned on one side.
Maria stared, then couldn’t help but laugh.
Joel looked offended.
“It ain’t funny.”
“It absolutely is.”
She laughed harder.
Joel shoved the basket toward her.
“Just give it to her.”
Maria folded her arms.
“No.”
Joel frowned.
“What do you mean no?”
“You can’t buy your way out of this.”
“It ain’t buying.”
“It kind of is.”
Joel sighed heavily.
“Maria, please. I’m tryin’”
Maria sighed, she knew Joel long enough to see when he had regret. To see when something was hurting him to his core.
Maria continued. “Joel…she spent months feeling lonely while standing right next to you.”
Joel looked down, he knew she was right.
“Didn’t mean to…to push her away. Didn’t mean to hurt her” the more he thought about the pain he caused, the angrier he became with himself.
“Give her time.”
“How much time?”His voice came out rough as he looked up.
“As much as she needs.”
Joel hated that answer but he nodded anyway.
~~
He tried. God, he tried. For almost three weeks he didn’t knock on your door. Didn’t force conversations, instead he began to quietly change his habits.
The way you always wished he would..
He started showing up to community dinners.
Actually talking to people. He helped Eugene’s widow repair her roof, fixed playground equipment for the children. He thought of you as he did everything. He thought about how he shut everyone out..including you.
Especially you.
~~
One afternoon you were helping Maria hang laundry when Ellie appeared.
“You should go talk to him.”
You rolled your eyes.
“Not you too.”
Ellie shrugged. “I’m serious.”
“I’m not ready.”
“Okay.” You paused, that was suspiciously easy.
“Okay?”
Ellie nodded.
“Yeah.”
Then she smirked.
“But you should know he’s becoming annoying.”
You sighed.
“What?”
“Guy’s like a sad country song.”
You laughed despite yourself. Ellie pointed toward Joel’s house. “He stares at your window.”
“Oh my God.”
“Not in a creepy way.”
“That doesn’t help.”
Ellie snorted.
“He’s pathetic.”
Your smile faded slightly. Because a small part of you wondered if Joel really was hurting as much as everyone claimed.
~~
It had been a month.
A month since you told Joel you couldn’t keep loving someone who acted like he could take you or leave you. A month since you packed a small bag and moved into Tommy and Maria’s spare room. A month without feeling the warmth of his body beside yours in bed.
You’d cried enough that you simply felt numb.
The front door opened, Tommy stepped inside first as you chopped up potatoes on the counter.
“Need a hand with the rest?” he called over his shoulder.
A familiar voice answered.
“Already got it.”
Your knife stopped against the potato.
Joel. Your stomach turned…but not exactly in a dreadful way.
He walked in carrying two heavy sacks of flour over one shoulder and a crate of canned goods in his arms. His sleeves were rolled to his forearms, a light sheen of sweat on his skin. He set everything down without a word, nodding politely to Maria.
“Found coffee beans too,” he said.
Maria smiled knowingly. “You’re a lifesaver.”
Joel shrugged.
“Figured I’d save Tommy another trip.”
Tommy snorted.
“You hate making trips into town.”
Joel scratched the back of his neck.
“Guess I don’t mind so much lately.”
You knew exactly who that comment was for.
You refused to look up.
~~
For the next hour he stayed busy. He helped out Tommy with a few things that needed fixing around the house. Eventually it was just you and Joel, you on one side of the room cutting vegetables and him on the other, fixing God knows what.
He never once asked for attention, he never looked to see if you were watching. Which somehow made it worse.
Because you were…every single second.
So much so as you began to chop up some carrots you weren’t paying attention and your hand slipped. You gasped loudly as the sharpness of the knife came into contact with your skin. Joel instantly looked up to see you quickly looking for a rag to cover the wound. Without thinking he put down what he was working on and rushed towards you. He had already seen the blood dripping down your finger so he knew it must’ve been deep.
“You alright?” Without hesitation he grabbed your hands but you held the rag still against it as he attempted to pull your hands apart.
“No it’s bleeding-don’t-“
“Let me take a look” his eyes met yours and you suddenly didn’t know how to speak. You watched as he gently removed the rag, his brows furrowed noticing the deep cut. In that moment you wished Tommy and Maria would appear from wherever the hell they were.
“It’s fine, Joel”
“It ain’t fine, you got yourself pretty good. Sit down-“
“Joel-“
“Damn it baby, just sit down” your heart jumped. He caught himself as he called you baby but he didn’t take it back.
After grabbing what he could find around the house he pushed everything on the table aside and placed a bottle of whiskey down with a first aid kit. Instead of sitting across from you at the table, he pulled a chair up beside you and turned your chair to face him, pulling it toward him.
“Could’ve just told me to turn” you rolled your eyes.
“Figure I’d move quicker.” He responded as you looked over at the bottle of liquor.
“Not the whiskey” you sighed.
“Yes the whiskey.” He responded without looking at you.
An entire month since the two of you had spoken more than a passing hello. A month since everything fell apart. Yet somehow you still found yourself sitting in the chair beside him without another word.
He unscrewed the bottle as you swallowed anxiously.
“This’ll sting.”
“I remember.”
His eyes looked up to yours.
“So do I.”
He tipped your hand over the table, his fingers warm around your wrist.
“Ready?” You nodded and he poured.
The whiskey hit the cut like fire.
“Shit-“ You jerked forward with a sharp gasp, eyes squeezing shut.
Without thinkinf you grabbed onto something, or rather..someone.
Your free hand had wrapped tightly around Joel’s. Your fingers dug into his calloused skin hard enough that your knuckles turned white.
He didn’t flinch or let go, instead he leaned in closer and softly blew across the cut.
The cool air eased the burning just enough that you slowly opened your eyes.
Joel was still there. Close enough that you could see every little line around his eyes, every fleck of gray in his beard. His knees against yours, you didn’t want to pull away.
His thumb absentmindedly rubbed small circles against the side of your wrist while he continued inspecting the cut.
“Little deeper than I thought.” He spoke low.
“But you’ll keep the hand.” A tiny laugh escaped you. It surprised both of you, he couldn’t help but smirk.
“There she is.” Then there was silence, your smile faded.
Joel finally looked down, then over and landed his eyes on your intertwined hands. Only then did you realize you were still holding his.
Your fingers hadn’t loosened once.
“Oh…”
You started to pull away. Joel’s hand instinctively tightened just enough to stop you.
You didn’t move.
His eyes lifted back to yours.
“You okay?”
There was so much hidden inside those two words. Not just about a stupid cut but about everything that’s happened.
You simply nodded.
“…Yeah.”
He studied you for another second like he wanted to ask a hundred more questions. Instead, he let out a deep breath.
“Alright.”
He didn’t want to pull away but he did so slowly to finish cleaning up your cut. Very carefully, he cleaned the last of the blood away. His fingers were gentle as he spread antibiotic ointment over the cut.
“You’ll wanna keep this dry today.” You nodded again.
He wrapped the gauze around your palm before securing it with tape.
“There.” He turned your hand over once to check his work.
“Should heal fine.”
You looked down at the neat bandage.
“..Thank you.”
Joel’s eyes lingered on your face.
“You don’t gotta thank me.”
“I know.” For a moment neither of you moved.
Then the back door opened.
“There you two are-“
Tommy stopped mid sentence.
Maria looked between the two of you sitting close together. Joel immediately leaned back, still holding your hand.
You quickly pulled your hand into your lap and looked away.
Maria frowned.
“What the hell happened?”
You stood a little too fast, nearly knocking the chair over.
“I-“
You held up your bandaged hand.
“I cut myself chopping carrots.”
Tommy’s eyes widened.
“Bad?”
“No.” You forced a small smile.
“I’m fine.”
Maria looked at Joel, then back at you.
Joel had already capped the whiskey bottle and closed the first aid kit, expression carefully unreadable.
“It’ll be alright,” he said simply.
“Really…im fine.”
“I think I’m just gonna…go lie down for a bit.”
Without waiting for anyone to answer, you slipped past Maria and Tommy, keeping your head down as you hurried toward the guest room. The bedroom door clicked shut behind you. Only then did you lean back against it, closing your eyes. Your hand still tingled beneath the bandage.
But what lingered far more vividly was the memory of Joel’s rough hand in yours…
And how, for just a few quiet moments, neither of you had wanted to let go.
You overheard Maria telling Joel to stay for dinner, a part of you not sure how to feel about it.
You didn’t hear Joel say much, his mind still lost in the moment of being so damn close to you.
Well feeling so close, yet so far.
~~
Everyone settled around the table. Ellie was away helping Dina with patrol schedules keeping herself busy. Conversation flowed around you. Tommy talked about a broken fence, Maria laughed about someone’s escaped chickens.
Joel mostly listened. Once in a while he’d look your way, not enough to make it obvious but still enough that you caught him every time.
~~
Halfway through dinner your fork slipped from your hand, clattering onto the floor.
Before you could bend, Joel was already kneeling.He picked it up then reached for another clean fork from the drawer.
“There.”
His voice was quiet, your fingers brushed when you took it. Neither of you pulled away immediately.
“Thanks.”
He nodded once.
“You’re welcome.”
Later that evening Tommy disappeared outside with Maria to check on the horses.
Leaving the two of you alone on the porch.
Neither of them was subtle.You sat on the swing, staring out toward the fading sunset.
Joel leaned against the porch railing, hands shoved into his pockets.
“Your hand ok?” He asked as if it hadn’t just happened a couple hours ago. He knew you were fine, but the silence killed him.
“Mhm, it’s fine,” you spoke softly as you looked down at your hand not noticing the way he looked over his shoulder back to you.
“I ain’t here to make things hard.”
“I know.”
“I told myself I’d leave you alone.”
“So why are you here?” You looked up at him. A slight smirk appeared on his lips.
“I lasted twenty eight days.”
“You counted?”
“Every one.” He looked down at the porch boards.
“I kept thinkin’ you’d be happier.”
“Well, I wasn’t.”
“I wasn’t either.” He spoke gently, he rubbed the back of his neck.
“I spent a lotta years thinkin’ if I kept people far enough away…couldn’t lose ’em.”
You stayed quiet.
“I realized all that did was make me lose ’em anyway.” You watched him carefully.
A month ago he would’ve shut down, changed the subject, hell not even have begun this conversation.
Now he stood there, uncomfortable as hell, saying the things he’d spent years refusing to admit.
His eyes finally met yours.
“Baby, I miss you. Every. Damn. Day.” His voice cracked.
“I’d wake up thinkin’ I’d hear you movin’ around the house. Hell, I still catch myself makin’ enough coffee for two.”
You looked down your lap, his stare too intense.
He continued carefully.
“I know it’s only been a month but I’ve done a lot of thinkin’ and I know what you need me to be and I’m sorry I failed you for so damn long.” His eyes teared up but you still couldn’t look up at him. Instead you fiddled with your fingers on your lap, your heart racing. And that’s when he slowly got down on his knee before you, his hands gently cradling yours.
“I can’t lose you, baby. You and Ellie are the only thing that keeps me goin’.” For some reason as happy as you were to hear his feelings, you almost also felt..angry. You pulled your hands away and shoved them into his chest but he held his balance.
“Why the hell did it take you so long to realize that?!” He began to shake his head.
“You don’t get it, baby I always realized it. I just…I just was too damn stupid to say it.” He noticed a tear falling from your eye and it pulled at his heart. He couldn’t take seeing you cry. He looked down at the floor and clenched his jaw, his heart pounding hard in his chest.
“Please come home, baby. I can’t…I ain’t sleepin’ without you. I need you with me,” you looked up, his eyes big and puppy like. You’d never seen him so broken. You parted your lips but couldn’t speak at first.
“I’m..I’m not ready,” you spoke barely a whisper. Your words breaking him. You stood up with him still on his knees before you and rushed back inside into your room, holding your tears in until you locked the door.
Joel held his tears in feeling the burning knot in his throat, he looked down at the ground disappointed in himself. He knew you had every right to feel how you did.
Just as Tommy and Maria walked back towards their home they saw Joel leave with a clear look of disappointment. Tommy sighed and shook his head.
When he walked inside he found you in the kitchen washing dishes, Maria gave Tommy a nod and left you two alone.
“Should’ve left the dishes so your hand can heal” Tommy stood at the doorway. You jumped up at the sound of his voice not having heard the front door open.
“It’s fine” you shrugged. After a moment of silence he continued.
“I saw Joel leave.”
You shut off the water and took a slow breath.
“Did you?” You answered low.
“I haven’t seen him this broken in a while,”
“If you’re trying to make me feel bad it’s not working-“
“Ain’t trynna make you feel bad. My brother can be a bit of an idiot but he’s an idiot who’s crazy for you.” You didn’t respond nor turn to face him either.
“He’s tryin’, sis”
You slowly faced him.
“Now after all this time. It took me to leave for him to show-“
“I know, I know. I told you, he’s an idiot.” You sighed.
“Give him one more chance, let him show you who he really is.”
~~
That night you sat in your room in the dark, contemplating to see Joel. Thinking of what to say, what to do. Eventually you pushed yourself out of the room, Tommy and Maria both asleep you quietly walked out the front door.
You could see Joel’s light still on, of course he was awake. Taking a deep breath walking towards his steps you whispered to yourself what you would say, so lost in thought you were taken by surprise when Joel appeared out the side of the house carrying a lantern. He himself surprised to see you stood speechless. You suddenly felt stupid.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have come” you proceeded to turn back but Joel quickly caught up.
“No” he caught your hand gently turning you back.
“Please, don’t go” he whispered. You stood silent for a moment, his eyes tracing your features.
“I thought about what you said” you whispered. “And I don’t know what to think, I don’t wanna feel what I felt for so long-“
“You won’t” he assured you stepping closer.
“I promise you I’ll give you every damn piece of me, whatever you need, baby I just can’t lose you again.” His eyes desperate, he meant every word he said. You didn’t respond at first, just quietly looked up at him before taking a deep breath.
“Can I stay the night?” You whispered as a look of relief took over him. He pulled you in closer, God he wanted to kiss you and you knew he did but you watched him stop himself.
“Kiss me you-“ Joel dropped the lantern and slammed your body against him taking your lips with his. You could feel the urgency he had for you, how much he missed your touch. You could feel how badly he never wanted to lose you again.
[SUMMARY: You accidentally send a nude to your neighbor Joel Miller.]
Dry humping
Chapter 1 Linked below.
💬 42 🔁 31 ❤️ 534 · Wrong Number Chapter 1 · [SUMMARY: You accidentally send a nude to your neighbor Joel Miller]
Masturbation
It was l
The rest of the night blurred after that…
Music played in the background while people sat relaxed, full from food and beer and summer heat. Laughter filled the space yet there was really only one thing on your mind..
Every single time you looked up, Joel was looking at you first. Not obvious enough for anyone else to catch, it was easy to hide while everyone was lost in their own conversations.
There he stood with beige carpenter shorts and a navy blue t shirt across the yard. A glance from across while he leaned against the fence with Tommy. His eyes following your legs whenever you walked past. His mouth tightening whenever Josh stood too close to you.
It made something flutter in the pit of your stomach because Joel never looked at you like this, Joel never flirted yet his eyes were doing more than that. Something had finally cracked open inside him tonight.
By the time the sky had gone fully dark, you slipped inside to escape the noise for a minute. The house felt cool compared to the summer air outside, quiet except for the muffled sound of music through the walls. You barely made it into the kitchen before hearing boots behind you. Of course it was Joel.
He headed straight for the fridge, grabbing another beer before glancing over his shoulder at you.
“You hidin’ in here?”
“Maybe.”
“Mm.” His voice was rougher now, slower from the alcohol. “Smart.”
“Don’t we have a cooler outside?” You asked with your arms crossed.
“Ran out” he responded.
You leaned against the counter across from him quietly observing him.
For a second neither of you said anything until you couldn’t hold yourself back.
“You still haven’t deleted it.”
Joel closed the fridge door with his hip.
“There she is,” he muttered. “Thought maybe you were finally gonna let that go.”
“You’re avoiding it again.”
“I ain’t avoidin’ nothin’.”
“You absolutely are.”
He took a long sip of his beer, eyes staying on you over the bottle the entire time. It should not have felt as intimate as it did.
“You really wanna know?” he asked finally.
“Yes.”
Joel sighed through his nose, looking briefly toward the ceiling, then his gaze dropped…slowly. Straight to the neckline of your dress..your lips parted.
This time he didn’t look away right away. Joel’s voice lowered another notch.
“Picture’s hard enough to forget,” he said quietly. “And maybe it’s wrong for me to….steal a glance but I ain’t a blind man, sweetheart.”
Heat rushed through you almost thought he could see it.
“Joel…”
“What?” His mouth twitched faintly. “S’true.”
“You’re drunk.”
“Little.”
“And suddenly honest?” You chuckled.
“Nah.” He shook his head once. “Been honest. Just usually smart enough not to say it out loud.” Joel leaned back against the counter, beer hanging loose in one hand while he looked at you in that heavy quiet way of his.
The way you stared at him trying to study him.
Joel’s eyes dipped there too before dragging back up again.
“You keep lookin’ at me like that,” he murmured, “I’m gonna start thinkin’ maybe that picture wasn’t entirely an accident.”
“It was an accident,” you said quickly.
“Mhm.”
“It was!” That low gravelly chuckle escaped him again.
“Sweetheart,” he said, “ain’t arguin’ whether you meant to send it.”
“I’m sayin’ maybe you knew exactly what it’d do to me.” His words making your stomach flutter and that damn sweetheart thing he suddenly had going. God you loved the way it sounded. You stared at him, heart pounding hard now…Joel noticed that too.
His expression softened just slightly, something lightly slipping through the teasing.
“C’mere,” he said quietly.
You moved before you could even think. He didn’t touch you, he wouldn’t cross that line.
But when you stopped in front of him, close enouggh to smell the beer and cedar and smoke on him, Joel looked down at you with an expression that made your entire body warm.
“You keep askin’ why I didn’t delete it,” he said softly.
“Yes.”
Joel rubbed his thumb slowly against the side of the bottle.
“Because I like knowin’ its there.”
You took a slow deep breath.
“Joel…”
“Hell, honey.” His voice had gone almost painfully gentle now. “You looked beautiful.”The sincerity of it nearly undid you more than the flirting had. Joel looked away first this time, shoulders tensing up like maybe he’d said too much.
“I gotta ask you somethin’” he chuckled to himself as he looked up. Your brows furrowed wondering what his question might be.
“What?”
“So that’s who you were sendin’ it to? ” He asked low leaning towards you.
“What? Who?” You asked confused, at least trying to look that way.
He smirked.
“Your little friend outside”
You didn’t say anything at first, was it that obvious that you and Josh had something going on?
“Come on, honey. I see the way he looks at you, the way-“
“It’s nothing” you cut him off.
“Oh I know that.” He responded confidently.
“Hey, I mean it’s your choice…it’s just…just a little funny to me that’s all.”
“Funny?” You raised a brow.
“Just don’t make much sense to me.”
“What doesn’t?”
His eyes moved over you again slowly, his body leaning in closer, deliberately.
“The idea that some kid like Josh is gettin’ a picture like that.”
“Joel-“
“The fact that you personally took that photo for him” liquor in his system making him more talkative than he’s ever been.
“He shouldn’t be seeing anything like that…let alone even get the chance to touch you.”
His words made you blush, his tone as if the thought had genuinely bothered him. You simply stared at him in complete shock.
Joel seemed to realize exactly how that sounded a second too late because he rubbed his fingers over his lips and looked down at the floor briefly.
“Forget I said that.”
“No,” you said immediately. “You absolutely cannot say something like that and then tell me to forget it.”
A reluctant smile tugged faintly at the corner of his mouth.
“You really don’t let things go, do you?”
“Maybe I don’t, what are you gonna do about it?” You surprised yourself with your response and there it was again. That look in his eye, fantasies running through his mind in that very moment. You could almost see the thoughts running through his head in real time.
You watched his hand flex at his side like he was fighting the urge to touch you, to pull you close….to see if you’d let him.
The alcohol on his breath mixed with the summer heat curling through the small kitchen, and for one reckless second, you thought he was actually going to do it. His body leaned in slightly before he caught himself.
“Jesus,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than to you. Joel moved a rough hand over his mouth, eyes squeezing shut for the briefest moment like he was trying to physically snap himself out of whatever fantasy had gotten hold of him. When he finally looked back at you, the hunger was still there, but buried deeper now..somewhat controlled.
“That mouth’s gonna get you in trouble someday,” he said quietly.
“Maybe I want trouble.” That almost got him. Words just spilling out of you, the excitement you felt like nothing you had experienced before.
You saw it happen..the crack in his composure, the brief loss of control. His eyes darkened so hard it sent a rush right through you. He stepped closer, close enough that his body brushed up against you. Then he stopped himself.
Joel exhaled sharply through his nose and took a step back instead, dragging a hand through his hair.
“You better get back outside.”
“Joel-“
“For your own good,” he cut in.
The tension was cut the second you heard your friends calling your name. Joel quickly turned away from you, his broad shoulders instantly in view.
“I’m coming!” You called out to them as you took one last look at Joel and walked out.
~~
Somehow the night had just become that much more intense. Joel took a bit to come back out, probably needing a minute or so to cool off. Once he finally did come out you could hear your dad asking where he’d been. Tommy teasing him about having too many burgers or beers. Joel laughed it off, the sound of his voice was all you could hear over everyone.
As time went on your friends eventually left one by one, Josh subtly whispering in your ear that he wished he didn’t work the night shift so he could stay with you. That’s when you realized, you didn’t mind. You assured him it was fine, of course distracted elsewhere.
Sarah soon went back home next door saying she was exhausted from the sun. Joel told her he’d be home soon which slightly disappointed you.
It was a little harder now for Joel to hide his glances at you, what made it easier was your dad drinking more than he was used to. He wasn’t a big drinker but on nights like this you could count on him to drink himself into a deep sleep.
“Woah you’re leavin’?” You heard your dad call out to Tommy as he stood up, Joel remained seated.
“Yeah, gonna see someone” Tommy winked.
“Ohhhh so a date” your dad chuckled.
It was now just you, Josh, your dad and Joel, although you could tell your dad was going to be out soon. Your dad making a comment to Joel as he began to walk towards the house almost knocked the whole cooler over. Joel grabbed him as you quickly made your way to him.
“I think you’ve had enough dad,” you laughed taking hold of his arm.
“No but I gotta clean…” he slurred.
“I’ll take care of it, let’s get you in bed” Joel stood up on the other end motioning to you that he had him. You watched as Joel helped him inside while you stayed behind with Josh and began cleaning up.
“Wish I could stay longer” Josh moved towards you taking advantage no one was around.
“I know, guess another night” you shrugged as you began to throw out everything in a big black bag.
Once Joel lay your father down, he looked out the window to see Josh pulling you in for a kiss. Joel felt himself tense up from this unwanted feeling, he breathed deeply and watch Josh walk out before he himself joined you.
“Guess he couldn’t bother to help you clean up” Joel muttered as he tossed empty plates in the garbage.
“He has work” you responded without looking up.
“Hm.” He raised his brows going around the table you were cleaning, now across from you.
“What’s that mean?” You looked up with a raised brow.
“Nothin’ just a shame you couldn’t spend the night with him right?”
You sucked your teeth and went back to cleaning, turning away from Joel as you set the garbage bag aside. You picked up any left over food and bought it inside. Joel quickly followed, the cool air from the AC hitting him as soon as you opened the door.
“Ain’t it true?” He watched you tip toe reaching for containers in the cabinet as you sighed. His eyes tracing the back of your legs, the length of your dress rising up every time you reached for something.
“I’m not talking about this with you” Joel took the trays as you emptied them, taking them to the sink and began washing them. He smirked, but didn’t say another word watching as you put everything away in the fridge.
Water still running he moved behind you to grab the last tray on the counter just as you finished organizing the food in the fridge. You closed the door and took a step back and that’s when you felt your backside completely against him. You softly gasped but just as you were about to take a step away you felt Joel’s hands on your waist. Something in that moment taking over him, he didn’t say a word. You closed your eyes feeling him slowly pull you back against him.
“Joel…” you whispered in slight disbelief. He closed his eyes and you felt him hard against you. His grip on you tightening, your hand slowly covering his.
“Want me to stop?” He whispered. Your heart skipped a beat, you slowly shook your head and felt him press himself against you just a little harder. His bulge right against your ass, his breathing quickened. He knew he couldn’t have you, not the way he wanted to, but what was the harm in simply feeling you…just a bit.
His body turned you toward the counter making you lean forward and hold on as he yanked your dress up. You gasped, his hands a little rougher than he meant them to be.
“Shit, baby…” he whispered at the sight of your pink lace underwear, the view only exciting him more.
“Tell me you didn’t wear this for him..” his tone painfully desperate. He pressed himself against you again, your ass sitting perfectly on his crotch, he continued to thrust. He could already feel the heat building up on him, sweat forming on his forearms, his heart racing, and then you moaned. He looked up at you and that’s when he suddenly pulled you back up against his chest. His hand taking hold of your face, he made you look back up at him. He could see how turned on you were, how badly you wanted to feel him, your eyes begging him for more. He knew he should’ve stopped right then and there but the way you looked at him, it took a hold on him, a hold he couldn’t shake off.
Joel completely turned you towards him and slammed your body against him as he took your lips with his. The two of you stumbling against the counter as the water continued to run. Joel reached over shutting it off without taking his lips off you, his arm closing around your waist as he pulled you to the direction of the couch.
The living room was dim, blinds closed, main light off, yet he knew his way around. You fell back on the couch with him on top of you. His knees parting your legs giving himself enough space to lay between them. He kissed your neck making you moan against him. Your hand running through his thick waves, his hips jerked against you as if they had a mind of their own. The weight of him pushed up against you, a sensation forming between your thighs. He felt your hips jerk up against him in an attempt to somehow feel more. He knew you wanted more, just as he did. But he couldn’t allow himself to do it. For a moment he stopped, staring down at you in a trance. You looked up at him with eyes that almost took over him. Hell, if your father wasn’t in the next room he’d take you right there.
“Joel..?” You whispered, slightly squirming beneath him, your body calling for his. He needed to feel you more, just a little more. Without saying a word he got on his knees between your thighs. You watched as he unzipped his pants, pushing them low enough so you can see the imprint of his hard cock beneath his grey underwear. You could see how thick he was, his hand slowly brushing over his shaft. You reached for him, desperately in an attempt to pull down his underwear but he caught your hand by your wrist. Without saying a word he held your arm down beside you and leaned forward, his cock perfectly aligning against your pussy. He could feel the warmth between your thighs against him. Your lips parted as he took hold of your face, leaning his forehead against yours, he began to thrust his hips against you. His cock rubbed against your clit making you roll your eyes back. The more he moved, the more intense the sensation felt, Joel groaned. He kissed your neck, his fingers tangling into your hair.
“Jesus, baby…I could feel how wet you are” he whispered roughly as he held himself against you. For a moment he didn’t move, he kissed you softly before lifting his hips off you and that’s when you felt his hand slowly slide down and slip into your panties. You moaned into his lips as his fingers felt just how wet you were. His lips parted from yours wanting to see how he made you feel. Delicately they brushed over your clit, his eyes focusing on yours when he slid a finger inside you. You gasped as he moved slowly in and out of you.
Then he used two.
He quietly observed your reaction, watching how the pleasure made you melt. You moaned as you began to feel yourself, your hands brushing up over your breasts, squeezing them gently over your dress. Joel’s fingers slid out of you and you watched him taste you.
He was far from done.
Joel threw the cushions to the floor, making enough space for him to spoon you from behind. You looked back up at him and noticed his eyes on your breasts, you knew exactly what he wanted.
“Go ahead” you whispered making his eyes shoot back up to yours. His hand caressed the side of your neck as he kissed you hungrily and you felt him pull your straps down, pulling down the top part of your dress enough for your breasts to be completely visible to him. His lips parted from yours as he looked down and finally could see what he’d been fantasizing about for the past 24 hours.
“Fuck, baby” his hand slowly sliding up your waist stopping beneath one of your breasts. He leaned forward towards them, his lips inches away from your nipple, you could feel his breath on it. He looked up at you, his lips still close, he leaned forward and without taking his eyes off you, he took your nipple in his mouth. A breath of relief as you ran your fingers through his hair, the sensation of his tongue flicking around your nipple making you squirm. He eagerly pulled your dress higher and spread your legs so his fingers could find their way back to where he wanted them to be. You moaned feeling them slip back inside you, his cock pressed against your thigh, hips moving involuntary against you. You couldn’t believe what the hell was happening and you didn’t care to understand it. The line between right and wrong had slipped away from both of you. His fingers moving faster in and out of you, curled upward hitting the very spot that was just about to make you cry out.
You whimpered, he looked up, his lips releasing your nipple. He noticed you were about to cum but there was a slight look of panic. The feeling too intense, you knew you wouldn’t be able to compose yourself. His face close to yours, his hand moving faster you grabbed onto him panting.
“Use your words, baby” he whispered low. You nodded.
“I’m gonna-“ you choked out, his brows furrowed.
“You’re gonna what?” His stare intense, you couldn’t focus. You arched your back as the first wave took over your body.
“I’m cumming-“ you cried out as the sensation hit every sensitive nerve in your body. Your body shaking beside him as you moaned loudly, Joel looked up down the hall to see your father’s door still shut. He was confident he wouldn’t wake up after how much he drank, besides, he didn’t want you quiet. He wanted to hear exactly how he could make you feel.
His hand slowed down as uncontrollable spasms rippled through you, leaving your body trembling. You practically wept.
Joel slowly slid his fingers out, his face in the crook of your neck, out of breath himself.
You couldn’t form any words, still in a daze. Joel pulled his pants back up beside you before pushing himself up over you and getting on his feet.
His back to you as he adjusted his clothes, he walked toward the counter grabbing his beer and chugging the last of it. Slowly you came back to reality, your legs slightly still trembling, you fixed the straps of your dress and pushed yourself up.
“Where are you going?”
Joel turned to you hesitantly, wiped his mouth, his eyes noticing the trembles of your thighs as you lowered your dress. He knew he had to get the hell out of there now.
“It’s gettin’ late”
“So.”
“I’ll see ya tomorrow, alright?” He quietly walked out the front door. Even if you wanted to you couldn’t chase after him with how he left you. Instead you sat there confused with what just happened.
~~
Joel walked into his dark living room, immediately hitting the shower.
The palm of his hand leaning against the wall for support as he relieved himself at the thought of what he wanted to finish doing to you.
His groan echoed in the bathroom.
He let the water fall on him as he thought about what he’d done, the line he crossed. He swore he wouldn’t touch you let, yet he couldn’t stop thinking about you.
The guilt already eating at him, your dad not having a clue what the hell his friend was doing to his daughter in the next room.
Guilt crushing him as he thought about the way you looked at him before he left. Confused, wanting him to stay.
The same way he wanted.
You deserved better than a man old enough to know better but he knew it had to end there.
~~
The next morning you walked out your front porch to see Joel sitting on his, a mug in his hand. He stared into the street as your father spoke to him, a nod here and there. Once they heard the door close behind you, your father turned your way.
“Hey, honey, got early plans?”
“Just gonna run some errands,” you responded, your eyes taking a quick glance at Joel.
“Hey, Joel” you spoke softly.
“Mornin’” he responded flatly, his tongue sliding along in his inner cheek, he didn’t take his eyes off the road.
“How do you feel dad? After last night.” You raised your brows.
Last night.
Even in the tone you said it made his hand squeeze tightly around his mug.
“Oh man, I’m glad Joel was there to help you out honey cause I don’t think you would’ve been able to get me to bed.” He laughed.
“Ain’t that right, Joel” he nudged his shoulder making Joel tense up.
“Mhm” he pressed his lips together before your father got distracted with the mail man who he’d been having a problem with lately, his mail always being misplaced.
“Glad I caught you today!” He called out to him as he walked to the front. Joel could feel you look over to him and stood up clearing his throat.
“Hey…about yesterday-“
“Ain’t nothin’ to speak about.” He cut you off bluntly.
“Joel.” You walked out over to him quietly, he wouldn’t look up at you somehow pretending to be distracted with something else. Anything he could find. He’d didn’t say a word.
“Well I’m glad my dad was too drunk to realize anything” you chuckled trying to think of something to say, you looked back at your father not realizing what he looked up at you.
“This a damn joke to you?”
You looked back at him confused.
“What? No- I-“
“Then go back home.” He pushed his chair aside with his foot.
“Why are you acting like this?”
“The hell do you want me to act like?” He was cold, rude and he hated it but if pushing you away meant he could have some kind of self control.
Then that’s what he’d do.
“I don’t know, the Joel I was talking to yesterday.”
He chuckled looking away.
“I was drunk-“
“You weren’t that drunk,” you whispered, he could hear the hurt in your voice.
“Drunk enough to do somethin’ I regret.” He responded looking away.
“Joel, come on. We both-“
“Listen, sweetheart whatever the hell happened yesterday ain’t gonna happen again. I let my impulses take over and you-“ he looked over at you, the image of you cumming against him, your breasts inches from his lips- he quickly looked away clearing his throat.
“You were just a bored little girl lookin’ for some excitement.”
That did it, the look on your face only lasted a second but it was enough to make him feel like shit.
“Bored little girl huh?” For just a second there was a crack of guilt in his expression but instantly switched past it.
“But not a problem for you to take your little glances at and enjoy my picture right?” He could hear the hurt and frustration in your voice.
“Well that’s all you are, sweetheart. Just something to look at-“
“And rub your hard cock on right?” Your unexpected words made him tense up.
“Screw you, Joel Miller.”
He watched you walk off back to your house, he didn’t say another word becuase if he did he knew it would be an apology.
hi! Thank you so much for responding to my request you really didn’t have to. i honestly wouldn’t mind either eras of Joel for the avoidant Joel and attached reader trope. I just really enjoy/ appreciate your work and I thought you would be the perfect creator to make this possible so I truly would not mind any of your ideas!
Hey, got cha! And thank you so much, really appreciate that 🥹💜
avoidant/emotionally detached joel along with attached reader who eventually loses hope of joel ever letting her in and later resorts to ending the relationship while joel does everything in his power to get her back
I’ve never seen this trope before on this platform so im a bit intrigued and almost obsessed with this idea along with the fact that I love a good angst of course
i love your writing btw it’s seriously phenomenal
thank you for your work 🤗
Hi! Love this trope, did you want a Jackson version of this or pre-outbreak?
Also thank you very much, really appreciate that 💜
ugh I love that last dbf Joel please tell me you’re gonna make it into a series, also are we able to give an suggestions for that series? On what can happen next after she confronts Joel about not deleting her nude
Thank you!! Yes it is a series. And yes please feel free to send in any ideas, I will take them into consideration. Just started chapter 2 now
[SUMMARY: You accidentally send a nude to your neighbor Joel Miller]
Masturbation
It was like any other evening, except today you decided to take some pictures of yourself that you knew Josh would enjoy. Josh and you weren’t anything serious, just a fling that started after you came home from college. He lived a few blocks away and would come around when your dad was at work, it was nice not having any strings attached. It wasn’t exactly your thing to send nudes but you decided to surprise him. One spicy topless photo, you smiled to yourself with excitement loving how it came out. He had just been texting you and you knew he’d love the unexpected tease. Giggling to yourself you attached the photo along with a message.
“Can’t wait for you to suck on them tonight.”
And sent.
That’s when you felt the ultimate sinking feeling in your stomach. Josh’s name was no longer at the top of the text thread..
Joel Miller.
“Oh shit!” You felt your stomach twist into a knot as you rushed pulling your straps back up.
“Oh my god…oh my god” you panicked, your fingers moving quickly back and forth between Josh’s thread and Joel’s. How the hell did it get to Joel? You scrolled up as you swallowed nervously, your heart pounding when you noticed his text.
“Hey, no need to get burgers for the BBQ tomorrow. Your dad said you were stopping to grab some today, Tommy and I already did. See you tomorrow.” You stared blankly at the text.
The fucking BBQ.
Your dads annual Memorial Day BBQ.
Your hands still shaking, how the hell were you suppose to come back from this? Accidentally sending a nude to your neighbor? Your dad’s friend? Then you had to face him the very next day, it felt like a damn nightmare.
Joel, I’m so sorry. That was not meant for you.
Please forget this happened.
You sent the text and threw your phone on the bed.
~~
Joel stood in the kitchen after a long day at work, he grabbed a beer from the fridge when his phone lit up. He figured it was you, responding about the burgers. Taking a sip of his beer he practically choked on his drink when he realized what you sent him.
Surely it was an accident.
Joel wiped his mouth and turned placing his phone on the counter. Almost afraid to touch it but unable to look away.
“Jesus” he whispered to himself.
Joel found himself analyzing the photo, the straps to your tank top pulled down, the way you bit your bottom lip, the glare of the sun from your window directly hitting your breasts.
Then another text appeared.
Joel, I’m so sorry. That was not meant for you.
Please forget this happened.
Before he could even register the text the sound of the door opened making him quickly exit out of the message thread and clear his throat.
“The hells wrong with you? Look like you seen a ghost” Tommy joked as he walked past him.
Joel took another sip of his beer and shoved his phone in his pocket.
“Yeah uh- just a long day. Sarah should be home soon, Miley’s dad is driving her back.”
“Ok, I’ll order some pizza” Tommy called out from his room as Joel walked to his.
He needed to be alone after what he just saw. Still in disbelief he sat at the edge of his bed, leaning forward he brushed his hand over his face before sitting back up and reaching back in his pocket.
Hesitantly he clicked on your name and there it was. His eyes focused on the image before him, something he wasn’t suppose to see. Something he knew he should delete it but he couldn’t stop looking at, his eyes lingering on every part of you he could see. The soft curve of your neck, the way your thin gold chain sat delicately on your collarbone. The charm shaped into a heart sat on your chest, his eyes moved lower just where the curve of your breasts began. They were plump, nipples erect, that’s when he felt his cock twitch in his pants. His thumb hovered just over them, he pictured how soft they must feel when suddenly your father’s name flashed on his screen.
“Shit-“ he stood up almost panting, pacing back and forth in the room as the phone rang realizing what he was just doing. He looked down at his phone again, your fathers name continuing to flash on the screen. He took a deep breath and without thinking twice answered the call.
“Yeah, Bobby?”
“Hey, just wanted to ask if you can do me a favor, I’m getting stuck at work later than expected. If you can just pick up a few boxes of beers for the BBQ and drop them off at the house tonight, I’ll give you the money when I see you. My schedule won’t give me time.”
Dropping them off at the house meant seeing you. Before Joel could even find a way out your father was interrupted with work and quickly thanked Joel for the favor and hung up.
“Tommy!” Joel called as he walked out of his bedroom hoping his brother was still around. Of course he stepped out again with his luck. Defeated, Joel grabbed his keys and walked out.
~~
Joel hadn’t said a word which made it all the more humiliating. You could barely look at your phone, even telling Josh you wanted to reschedule for another night.
Then you heard the bell.
“Why would he still show up” You whispered to yourself as you paced down the stairs going straight for the door.
“Didn’t you get my mes-“ you opened the door to see Joel standing before you. Your skin instantly getting hot, you felt your stomach turn.
“Joel-“ you whispered.
“Uh- your dad called me. Asked me to drop me these off for tomorrow” he could barely look you in the eye. His hands fidgety as he distracted himself with anything to stop himself from looking at you.
“Oh..um-“ you looked down at the boxes of beer. He took advantage in that second to steal a glance before quickly looking away.
“I’ll bring them to the fridge out back-“
“I got em” he quickly picked up the boxes, all four of them at once. You awkwardly stepped aside and let him make his way out the back door and he began to stack the fridge full with beers. You stood close by watching, arms crossed unsure of what to say but knowing something had to be said.
Once he finished he stared into the fridge for a moment, hand on the door as if he was searching for something.
Probably stalling having to turn back to you.
You swallowed nervously before blurting out words you barely thought over.
“I’m sorry about the picture” Joel stiffened before taking a double look at you as he closed the fridge door.
“Huh? Yeah- it’s-“
“It was meant to be sent to someone else, I didn’t notice you had just texted me.”
“Figured that much.” Joel turned towards you but still couldn’t find it in him to look directly at you. Hands in his pockets he stood still, wishing your dad would just appear.
“You can’t even look at me” you whispered with an embarrassed smile, your words making him finally look up at you, his jaw tensing up. And in that moment you realized you didn’t know how the hell you could even be looking at him.
“I uh-“ you suddenly lost your train of thought.
“Um- can we just somehow pretend it never happened?” You spoke quickly then bit your bottom lip nervously looking away. Joel’s gaze darkened at the sight of you doing exactly what you were doing in the photo. He made himself look away.
As if he could pretend it never happened.
All he could think about from the moment you opened the damn door were your breasts.
He caught himself getting lost at the image in his head and cleared his throat straightening himself up.
“Better get back, I’ll see y’all tomorrow.” He looked at you for one short moment and gave you a nod before quickly walking out.
~~
Joel stared at his ceiling that night fighting the urge to take another look at the picture. Finding it hard to delete it.
He knew he should’ve.
Looking over at his nightstand he reached over for his phone. He clicked on the messages, his thumb hovering over your name. Without thinking he clicked it and there it was. Joel took a deep breath as his eyes instantly began tracing the curve of your breasts and then he read over the message.
Can’t wait for you to suck on them tonight.
His cock throbbed, he quickly put the phone face down beside him and brushed his hand over his face.
“The hell am I doin’?” He muttered to himself. His breathing quickened, his hand rested on his chest as the most intimate thoughts ran through his mind. The thought of how you must feel, the thought of his very hands cupping them. He was now rock hard beneath his boxers, his hand reaching below…he couldn’t resist. He cursed at himself grabbing the phone, your picture still there in front, his other hand shoving his boxers down far enough for his cock to spring up out of them. He looked over and knocked over his alarm clock desperately grabbing a bottle of lotion.
And he let his mind go to work.
His hand closing around his shaft, he started off with slow steady strokes.
Joel pictured his tongue sliding over your nipples, he pictured himself sucking on them as you moaned pulling him closer against you.
The thought of you moaning made him move faster, his precum building up at the tip of his cock. His chest rising and falling deeply the faster he moved, he couldn’t get his eyes off your breasts. The thought of you riding him as they bounced freely, he groaned involuntarily, the noise slipping out on a breath like his body betrayed him. Joel hadn’t felt something this intense building up inside in a long time. His hand moving rapidly as he imagined how your pussy must feel like tightening around him. The thought of you riding him and using his body to your advantage. The thought of you cumming all over his cock—his cum shot out of him. He panted as the phone fell onto the bed, his hips jolting upwards against his hand as he moaned as low as he was able to so he wouldn’t be heard throughout the house.
“Jesus Christ-“ he looked down as his cum spilled out of him over his hand, his face flushed as he threw his head back barely able to catch his breath. His hand didn’t move, he lay still panting for dear life realizing what he’d just done.
Maybe now that he relieved himself, just maybe..he could move on from it.
~~
You could smell the charcoal from your window as you got ready for the BBQ. Your dad excitedly prepping the food playing some of his favorite music as guests slowly began to arrive. It was still early as you went through your wardrobe deciding what to wear, you were excited to see Josh tonight. You went with a soft pink sundress you hadn’t worn in a couple years. Looking at yourself in the mirror you put a drop of lipgloss on when you heard Joel’s voice out your window. Replaying what happened yesterday and hearing his laughter outside with your dad made your cheeks flush.
You took a deep breath and shook it off, focusing on Josh tonight was all you needed.
Greeting a few of the neighbors as you made your way by the pool in the back you had a quick laugh with your friend Serena. The sound of your laughter distracted Joel as your father spoke about yesterday’s game. Your dad’s eyes on the grill as Joel stood close by with one hand in his pocket and the other holding a cold beer.
Light caught the fabric of your dress when you moved, and for a second Joel just…stopped listening. His eyes wandering over the dress you wore. What the hell were you thinking coming down here in that, knowing what you’d just sent him. The dress complimented your breasts perfectly, your gold hearted chain sitting just above the sight of your cleavage.
He took a step to the side, dragging his gaze away like it cost him something, staring instead at the edge of the table as if it had suddenly become interesting.
“-Yeah,” he said absently, realizing your dad was still talking. He gave a short nod that didn’t match whatever he’d just agreed to.
You didn’t notice. Of course you didn’t.
You moved through the yard easily, hair catching the sun, completely unaware of the way Joel had gone still again the moment you were in his line of sight.
He took a slow sip of his drink, jaw tightening just slightly, like he could will his thoughts back into place if he tried hard enough.
Then you looked up and for a moment you both locked eyes. He didn’t look away as fast as he should’ve, that’s when you realized a certain look in his eye. A look you had never seen in him. It distracted you for a just a moment until Josh came into view blocking the sight of Joel.
“Hey gorgeous!”
“Hi!” You smiled awkwardly as he picked you up for a hug.
“Careful my dad’s close by” you whispered with a giggle. Yes, you may have been a grown adult but you didn’t want your dad knowing who you were messing around with. He looked at Josh so respectfully, God knows he wouldn’t if he knew what you two were up to.
Joel watched from a distance, of course it was Josh. Sonny’s son from the hardware store, he should’ve known. He never really liked the kid, just never knew why.
“Joel!” Bobby’s voice snapped him out of it.
“The hell you starin’ at?” He chuckled looking over, thankfully you and Josh had moved elsewhere.
“I’m asking if you want a burger, they’re ready”
“Oh yeah-“ he cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Yeah, sure.”
~~
The evening went on, Joel sat with Tommy and Bobby sharing a few stories, having a few laughs. Sarah played in the pool with a few of her friends as everyone enjoyed the warm day.
Joel could still hear you at times laughing sitting with your friends, sitting next to Josh. That’s when a few others left the party, clearing out the space enough where you and Josh were no longer blocked from his view. Still, you were distracted with your stories to notice your father looking your way.
“So Josh huh?” Tommy chuckled nudging Bobby. Joel sat silently waiting for your dad’s reaction.
“Ahh, they’re just friends. He’s a good kid, I trust him around”
“Just friends alright” Joel muttered under his breath before taking a sip of his beer.
Tommy excused himself to use the restroom while your dad went in to check what was left in the fridge. You noticed both of them walking in and looked back to see Joel looking out at the pool, smiling at his daughter laughing with her friends.
“Hey, let me grab us some more drinks from the cooler.” You patted Josh’s knee who nodded as he continued talking with the others.
Joel didn’t notice you walking towards him at first, just until you reached a few feet away.
“Hey” you smiled as his body tensed up.
“Hey” he put the beer down by his feet and sat up straight.
“I’m glad it didn’t rain today” you attempted to make normal conversation but truthfully something was lingering in your mind. Something you couldn’t help but want to ask.
“Mhm” Joel kept it short, he crossed his arms looking away knowing exactly what you did to him anytime he would look at you too long. He didn’t know what the hell you were still doing there in front of him in that damn dress.
Then before you could stop yourself, you leaned slightly closer and whispered.
“So…did you delete it?”
That finally made him look at you properly..really look at you.
His expression barely changed, but something heavier settled behind his eyes.
Joel exhaled once through his nose, gaze dropping briefly toward the grass.
“Thought we agreed not to talk about that again.”
“We didn’t agree,” you whispered back. “You avoided answering.”
A muscle moved in his jaw.
“You’re persistent, I’ll give you that.”
“Joel.” Your voice came out quieter than you meant it to.
He looked over toward the yard automatically, checking your father wasn’t nearby before lowering his voice too.
“No,” he said finally.
Your breath caught a little.
“No….?”
Joel rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly looking irritated with himself for even admitting that much.
“Haven’t gotten around to it.”
“That’s a lie.”
His eyes snapped back to yours.
You watched something change there briefly but it was there.
Because the truth was obvious now, a man like Joel Miller didn’t “forget” things.
Especially not things he wanted to keep.
“You should probably delete it,” you said softly.
“Probably.”
But he still hadn’t moved or looked away.
You swallowed. “So why haven’t you?”
Joel stared at you for a long moment before answering, voice low enough you almost missed it.
“Didn’t seem right lookin’ at it again just to delete it.”
Your chest tightened.
That was not an answer and it was definitely not the truth, what he said was worse.
Joel seemed to realize that too, because he immediately grabbed his beer and took a sip like he needed the distraction.
“Then delete the whole thread? You won’t even happen to open the message” you insisted when suddenly Josh’s voice came up behind you.
“Hey’d you get lost?” Josh laughed making you softly gasp. Joel kept his eyes on you as you turned to smile at Josh.
“No, I got it. Got caught up talking about something he needed me to help with Sarah.” You lied. Josh looked down at Joel who had his eyes narrowed on him.
“Well-“ you cleared your throat but before you finished your sentence Joel was grabbing drinks from the cooler and handed them to you.
“Thanks” you spoke softly, you and Josh turned back to your friends but you looked back, Joel was on his feet just about to walk away… but not before his gaze dropped once more to your dress.
Something lit up inside you. Something you had never felt with Joel in the few years that you knew him. It was hard to deny that it excited you.
Hi! I have an idea for Joel... How about something with younger "singer" reader. They met in Jackson, they do have a flirty relationship but he doesn't really believe she wants to be with him because he is "too old". She finally has enough of him not taking the hint so at a party (maybe adults only night or something like that because i don't think she'll sing that with kids listening) she starts singing this song she wrote for him and... lets just say it ends with a very blushing but flattered Joel🤭
I'm sorry if this is not your style or it's just not what you want to write. I just thought it's so funny, i always think about Joel when i hear it and how he would react to it😂
Hey! Thank for the sending this in :) will definitely do this asap.
[SUMMARY: After a rough argument, you make Joel beg for forgiveness.]
Smut
It was late at night, Joel still hadn’t returned after the argument you had earlier. You stood in the kitchen slowly sipping a tea you made to help you sleep. The yelling, the sound of the door slamming so hard it made you jump replayed in your mind. Joel was protective, sometimes too over protective. The second he found out you patrolled an area he hadn’t secured first himself, something in him snapped.
~~
“Joel, Kelly and I secured the area. We were fine, we made it back, what’s there to be mad about?” There was plenty for him to be pissed about, first being that he didn’t trust Kelly and you knew that.
“And what if you didn’t?” He responded angrily across the room from you.
“Well we did” you stood before him with your arms crossed.
“You know damn well I don’t like you patrolling any areas I haven’t gone over first. God knows what the hell was out there-“
“Kelly and I had it handled.”
“Without back up, without any man there to help you-“
“Well luckily I know damn well how to take care of myself” you fought back.
“You got lucky” he muttered under his breath.
“Who the hell approved of this?”
“Your brother” you could see the anger rise in him. He paced back and forth hands on his hips.
“Look-“ you sighed “I know you don’t like how much of a risk taker Kelly can be and-“
“She’s careless” he cut you off as he walked towards the kitchen counter beside you.
“Joel-“
“You know better than that-“
“Stop talking to me like I’m a damn kid” you snapped. He swallowed hard standing in place.
“Your judgement ain’t what it used to be, baby” he spoke calmly.
“My judgement is just fine. I’ve done what I had to do just fine before I met you, I’ve made my way out of many places when I was alone. I survived for a long time alone-“
“Well you ain’t alone now!” The words came out louder than he meant them to. He turned his head immediately, like he regretted it the second it left his mouth. He hated arguing with you, hell he never yelled at you this way before. The thought of anything happening to you pushed him over the edge.
“I will not take you screaming at me like that”
You spoke calmly but he was far from calm, his chest rising and falling rather quickly as he dug his hands into his pockets.
“Then maybe follow the damn agreement and don’t go anywhere new if it hasn’t been cleared.”
“What the hell is with you? What you don’t think I’m capable of taking care of myself-“
“No as a matter of fact. I don’t.” He cut you off rather quickly, he could tell he offended you.
“Oh really?” He wouldnt look at you.
“So that’s how you think of me?” You stepped towards him but he turned towards the door.
“I’m done talkin’ about this” he walked out like nothing, the door slammed so loudly you flinched.
~~
You’d been sitting on the couch for what felt like hours, a blanket pulled over your lap, a cup of tea long gone cold in your hands. You hadn’t moved much. If you stayed still enough, maybe the knot in your chest wouldn’t tighten every time you thought about the way he’d looked at you before he left.
Like you were something fragile. Like you didn’t know what you were doing.
The front door slowly opened.
Your grip on the mug tightened, but you didn’t turn.
“…You’re still up.”
Joel’s voice was quieter than usual. Careful.
He didn’t come back wanting to fight, you could hear it in his voice.
You didn’t answer.
You could feel his eyes on you, searching, waitinf..hoping you’d look at him, say something, anything to make this easier.
You didn’t.
A soft exhale left him. Regret, heavy and tired.
“I didn’t mean-“ he started, then stopped, like the words tangled before they could get out right. “Earlier…Ishouldn’t have-“
You stood.
Your movement cutting him off without a word. The blanket slipped from your lap, the mug left forgotten on the table as you walked past him.
He turned slightly as you passed, his body instinctively angling toward you.
“Baby-“
Nothing.
You kept walking.
The bedroom door opened, then shut behind you just as softly. No harsh slam…somehow that made it worse.
Joel stood there for a second, jaw tightening, frustration breaking through the guilt,but it didn’t last. He dragged a hand over his face, exhaling sharp through his nose before following after you.
The door pushed open again.
You were already on the other side of the room, pulling off your sweater about to lay on your side of the bed.
“C’mon,” he said, a little more edge in his voice now. “Don’t do that.” You could hear the strain in it.
You didn’t look at him. That silence pressed in again, heavier this time.
Joel stepped further into the room, the floorboards creaking under his weight. “You just ain’t gonna talk to me now?”
Still nothing.
Your back to him. Your shoulders tense.
His frustration slipped out in a quiet huff, but it faltered almost immediately, replaced by something uncertain.
He wasn’t used to this, not from you.
Joel stood restless, hands settling on his hips before dropping again. “I’m tryin’ to talk to you.”
That made you pause just for a second but you still didn’t turn around.
“I heard you,” you said finally, voice quiet. “You said enough earlier.”
The words hit harder than if you’d yelled.
Joel swallowed, his throat working as he tried to find his footing again. “That’s not-“ He stopped, shaking his head. “That ain’t fair.”
You let out a soft, humorless breath.
“Fair?” You turned then, finally looking at him..and there it was. The hurt. The anger you’d been holding in all night, sitting just beneath the surface. “You yell at me like I don’t know how to take care of myself then walked out for the whole evening and you wanna talk about fair?”
His expression changed immediately.
“I didn’t mean it like that-“
“But you said it.” You didn’t yell, but it cut clean anyway. “You said it like I’m some kind of liability. Like I can’t handle things on my own.”
“That’s not what I think,” he said quickly, stepping closer without really meaning to. “You know that.”
“Look, I don’t wanna talk anymore. I just wanna go to bed” you slipped under the covers and turned your back to him. He watched as you reached over to your lamp and shut it off before lying down with a sigh.
Joel knew he fucked up. One thing you were always very proud of was how independent you’d always been.
How far you’d come.
You had every right to feel insulted after everything you had overcome on your own.
It wasn’t easy and he knew that. Joel silently turned away and left you in the room, hoping that maybe by morning you’d wanna talk to him.
A little while later Joel came to bed, you still hadn’t moved from the position you were in. He figured you were asleep but you lay there staring at the wall as he silently lay beside you. You could feel him looking over at you. He took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling and that’s when he began to feel it. Laying next to you would easily do it to him, hell the thought of you was enough to get him going. He moved slightly against the mattress, jaw clenched, like he could will it away just by pretending it wasn’t there. It didn’t work.
Joel was rock hard, his grey sweats making it very visible.
His gaze slid toward you instead, tracing the outline of you in the dim light, the curve of your shoulder, the way the blanket dipped at your waist. Something in his chest pulled tight, a mix of want and restraint that sat heavy behind his ribs.
For a second, he almost reached for you. His hand moved against the mattress, fingers flexing like they had a mind of their own, then stilled. He swallowed it down, every bit of it, forcing himself to stay where he was when suddenly you yanked the covers off you.
You couldn’t sleep, you didn’t look his way, you sat up and quickly walked out the room, Joel adjusted his pants incase you looked his way before sitting up on his elbow slightly confused.
Maybe he should’ve just stayed in the room, should’ve just waited till it passed but instead he found himself walking down the hall to find you in the kitchen. You were hunched over on the counter and took a deep breath, hands holding onto either side of the counter when you suddenly felt a soft touch on your waist. You jumped at the feel of Joel delicately placing his hands on your waist till you turned to him and roughly pushed his hands off.
“You’ve got some nerve-“ he abruptly pulled your body against his and that’s when you felt it. His swollen urge pressed against your pelvis. He looked you dead in the eye, his cock throbbing against you, yearning to be in you. In that moment as angry as you were with him, you felt something you couldn’t deny. Maybe it was the way he looked at you, or the way he pressed his body against yours. You felt the same need for him.
The need for him to fill you.
“Aren’t you clever” you whispered sarcastically. He still held you tightly against him, his eyes drifting between your eyes and lips.
“How long are you gonna stay mad at me, darlin’?” You could hear the desperation in his voice, he needed you right now.
“Hmmm…I don’t know” You spoke softly, his body tense against yours.
“What more do you need me to do?”
A smile slowly appeared on your lips, your hand creeping up to his face caressing his facial hair. His eyes closing savoring your touch.
“Are you really sorry?” You whispered, his eyes quickly opened, darkened. He nodded.
“More than you know” he breathed heavily.
“Well then…show me how sorry you really are”
He nodded slowly, gently carried you onto the counter. His large hands grabbing your face, his hunger showing for you as he kissed you deeply. You moaned into him as he began to pull your pants down and threw them aside. He could feel the warmth between your thighs as you wrapped your legs around him. His hard on practically dragging his pants down, he pressed himself against you, but you wanted to feel more. Pulling at his waist band you pushed his pants down as far as you could until you felt his warm throbbing cock brush against your inner thigh. You moaned with excitement as he pulled his shirt over his head, you pulled him close feeling him reach between your bodies. You could feel the tip of him at your entrance, aching to enter you. Kissing your neck he slid in you slowly making you gasp, Joel felt your body melt against him. Both of his hands brushing up the back of your neck grabbing a chunk full of your hair as he kissed you, his tongue swirled against yours as you whimpered against him. Each slow deep thrust he tugged at your hair a little harder. Joel hated arguing with you but one thing he loved was making up, each time more intense than the last.
He released your hair allowing you to lean back on your elbows, the sight of his cock glistening with each thrust the more wet you became.
“Fuck, baby-“ he choked out,he pulled you closer against him placing your legs on his shoulders. The angle only making him feel deeper, hitting every nerve to set your body off the edge. You threw your head back as a wave of pleasure hit your body intensely, his hips rocking against you faster. Sweat building up on his forehead, his curls now damp against his skin, his eyes focused on you watching as pleasure exploded within you. God he loved watching you get lost in the pleasure, the sight only making him go harder. You screamed in relief, almost collapsing onto your back until he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you against him. You panted with your arms around him, he smirked, his rhythm slowing down.
“Can you feel how sorry I am now?” His whispered breathlessly.
Your lips parted but you couldn’t speak, your eyes hazy and unfocused. He loved that look on you. He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, then slowly traced them down the side of your face until he reached your lips still thrusting his hips.
“Take me to the bed” you whispered.
He did just as you asked, carrying you to the room still inside you, slowly your body building up the strength to take over. He could feel you grabbing onto him tighter, pulling yourself up on him as you kissed him eagerly.
“Baby-“ he moaned roughly in between kisses. You had him right where you wanted him, he threw himself back on the bed as you pushed him flat on his back. His eyes memorized by the sight of your body on top of him, he never got tired of the view. He pulled your shirt down enough for your breasts to poke out of your top, just enough to watch them bounce with each movement you made.
“Just like that, baby…” his hands brushing up your thighs grabbing onto your waist as you rode him. You moaned touching yourself, squeezing your breasts knowing how much he loved when you did that.
“Do you feel it now?” He asked looking down watching himself disappear in you with each bounce, you could tell he was close to climax by the way his hands tightened on you, the way his breathing deepened. You slowly leaned forward and caressed his face.
“I don’t know…” you whispered as you continued to ride him, face to face. Your body pressed against his as you rode him making his body tense up.
“I’m gonna need you to say it again” you whispered, he nodded quickly, eyes desperate.
“I’m sorry” he whispered, his words jumped with his breath.
“Mmmm-“ you kissed his neck.
“Say it again, like you mean it” you rode him faster hearing his breathing quicken.
“Baby-just forgive me please- I’m gonna cum-“ he choked out.
“I know” you pushed yourself up and rode him harder.
“Say it” you demanded, his body beginning to twitch.
“I’m s-sorry-“ he looked down squeezing your waist.
“What was that?” You teased.
“Baby, please-“ he begged, a low desperate whimper.
“Say it”
“I’m sorry-fuck I’m sorry-“ he cried out, he tried to hold himself but his body gave in just like you wanted it to.
“Fuck-“ he squeezed his eyes shut releasing himself in you, digging his fingers into your skin, he tried to slow you down but he couldn’t. His body going weak as you continued to ride him, he couldn’t make out any words, just deep groans of desperation. Each stroke on his cock sending shocking waves throughout his body.
“Want me to stop?” You raised a brow. He whimpered as you slowed down, his hips quivering beneath you.
“Baby-ba-“ he pleaded, his voice desperate and rough. All he could do was hold you.
You bit your bottom lip with a smile, still you moved slowly taking every last drop of him. Words escaping his lips that you couldn’t make out.
His breath uneven, as if the strength had drained out of him all at once. His hand lingered on your waist just as you stopped moving, but his hold on you wasn’t firm anymore, more like he needed the contact to steady himself than anything else.
You didn’t move right away. You just watched him, calm and in control of the space between you, while he slowly came back to himself. His eyes were half-lidded, unfocused for a moment, like he was still trying to catch up to his own body.
A faint, breathy laugh left him, though it didn’t carry much energy. He exhaled through his nose, clearly overwhelmed in a way he didn’t have the words for. You slowly got off of him, feeling him slip out of you, you lay back beside him. His hand gently reaching for your thigh beside him, giving you a light squeeze.
“Thats what I get for pissin’ you off?” He somehow managed to finally say. You turned towards him with a smile.
“Mhm” you kissed his cheek gently and pushed yourself off the bed. His eyes following you to the door, not ready to get himself up yet.
“I’m gonna go shower”
He closed his eyes and nodded.
“Gonna need a bit, baby”
“Take your time” you smiled walking off into the restroom.
~~
In the kitchen grabbing a quick snack you heard Joel making his way down the stairs. His hair wet combed back after coming out of the shower, he stopped at the doorway and looked at you for a moment. You stood against the counter only wearing his shirt.
“So-“ he smirked walking towards you.
“The hell was that about?” He stopped before you, watching as you looked away slightly blushing with a smile.
“No no no, don’t get shy on me now” he pulled you against him playfully.
“Not after how you had me up there, that was your plan all along huh?” He whispered against you.
“Maybe” you raised your brows with a chuckle, he leaned in and kissed you.
“I meant what I said though, I am sorry” you could hear the sincerity in his voice.
“I know” you nodded, kissed him then led him back up the stairs.
[SUMMARY: When you and Joel find out you’re expecting twins, the weight of it all begins to take over him.]
Angst, fluff
Joel stood beside you anxiously waiting for the doctor to walk in. You sat on the edge of the paper-covered table..his hand hasn’t left you since you walked in.
The sound of the door opening makes you both take a deep breath as the doctor walks in.
She smiles happily introducing herself and proceeds to what you both have been waiting for.
“Alright, let’s take a look…”
You glance at Joel, already catching the way his jaw tightens,like he’s bracing himself for something, even though everything’s been fine so far. His thumb rubs slow circles against your hand.
The doctor moves the wand around a bit then slowly pauses.
“Hm.”
Joel straightens instantly. “What?” His voice is low, sharp. “What is it?”
“What’s wrong?” You ask practically sitting up.
The doctor chuckles softly. “No, no it’s not bad. Just… unexpected.” She tilts the screen slightly toward you both. “Do you see this?”
You lean forward, trying to make sense of the grainy shapes.
“Looks like blobs?” You say with a confused expression.
Joel narrows his eyes. “Yeah. That don’t clear much up.”
The doctor points. “This is one baby.” Then she shifts slightly. “And this… is the second.”
Joel doesn’t move.
“Second…?” you repeat.
Joel lets out a quiet breath, almost like it’s been knocked out of him. His grip on your hand tightens just a little. “You’re sayin’… there’s two?”
The doctor nods, smiling now. “You’re expecting twins.”
You let out a short laugh half disbelief, half amazement. “Oh my god.”
Joel just stares at the screen, like if he looks hard enough it might rearrange itself into something more manageable. But it doesn’t.
You glance at him, a grinslowly spreading. “Well…guess this means you really won’t let me do anything anymore.”
That pulls him out of it..just barely. His eyes turn to you, brows knitting together. “You weren’t supposed to be doin’ much before this.”
“Can’t keep me off my feet for too long” you chuckled.
“Growin’ 2 babies..,” he mutters, shaking his head slightly, like the math of it all doesn’t sit right with him. His hand slides protectively over your stomach, gentler than anything else about him. “That’s…that’s double.”
You raise a brow. “Pretty sure that’s how twins work.” A nervous laugh escapes your lips.
He huffs, but there’s no real bite to it. His focus is already back on you,on your stomach, like he’s trying to shield it from everything all at once.
The doctor continues talking, something about measurements, heartbeats, next steps but Joel’s gone quiet.
You know that look.
“Hey,” you murmur, nudging his arm. “You okay?”
He nods too quickly. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”
You tilt your head. “Joel.”
He exhales slowly through his nose, eyes still on the screen. “Just…wasn’t expectin’ that, is all.”
“Me neither,” you admit, softer now.
“I can’t believe there’s gonnna be two, I’m gonna push out two? How does that even work…?” You stare off into space thinking of all the scenarios. Joel can hear the panic in your voice begin to appear. He instantly puts his worries behind and moves closer to you, his arm coming around you instinctively as he leans into you.
“Hey don’t you start fillin’ up your mind with too much at once.“ He kisses the side of your head gently.
“You’re gonna take it easy,” he continues .
You roll your eyes lightly. “There it is.”
“I mean it.” His gaze finally meets yours, firm but not too harsh. “No more ‘light work,’ no more helpin’ out with things that ain’t your responsibility. You rest. You eat. You let me handle the rest.”
“Yes, sir.”
He doesn’t smile right away. His thumb brushes your knuckles again, slower this time.
“He’s right you know-“ the doctor intrudes.
“I had twins, you’re going to be exhausted before they even get here. So rest all that you can hun,”
“…We’ll figure it out,” he adds quietly. “All of it.”
You catch a quick glimpse of something in his expression…worry, maybe. The kind he won’t say out loud. The kind that’s already running through numbers, supplies, space, safety.
Two babies.
Double everything.
But his hand never leaves you.
You squeeze it gently. “Hey. We’ve got this.”
He looks at you for a long second.
Then he nods.
“Yeah,” he says, voice rough but certain. “We do.”
~~
You and Joel had barely stepped through the door before Tommy caught on. He was leaning in the doorway like he always does, casual at first, then sharper when he saw your faces.
Sarah was the one who figured it out first. Her eyes widened before anyone said a word.
“Wait… are you serious?”
Joel didn’t answer right away. He never does when it matters most. His hand stayed lightly at your back, steadying you more out of instinct than necessity.
“Twins,” he finally said.
That was all it took.
Sarah practically launched forward, laughing while completely stunned. Tommy let out a low whistle, grinning like he couldn’t help it.
“Damn, Joel,” Tommy said. “You don’t do anything halfway, do you?”
There’s laughter after that, questions, excitement, plans already being thrown around..names, room space, how much trouble two babies are going to be around the house. For a while, it feels warm and exciting.
But you notice Joel doesn’t quite step into it the same way.
He’s there. Even smiling when Sarah grabs his arm and starts talking over him. But his eyes drift a little too often, like he’s already thinking ten steps ahead of everyone else.
When things finally quiet down, he says it plain.
“You two are gonna help out when I can’t be around.”
It isn’t a question.
Tommy raises a brow. “Yeah, obviously.”
Sarah nods too, softer now. “Of course.”
“I mean it, I’m gonna be puttin’ in more hours and I’m gonna need your help with her”
You glance up at Joel. “I’ll be fine, you know that.”
His hand tightens slightly at your waist, just for a second.
“I know,” he says. But it doesn’t sound like he believes it fully. Or maybe it’s not you he’s unsure about.
It’s everything else.
That night, you drift off beside him, warm and safe, his arm heavy across your middle like an anchor he refuses to let go of even in sleep.
But when you wake, the space beside you is empty. You find him in the kitchen.
He’s sitting at the table, elbows resting on his knees, head slightly bowed. The room is dim, lit only by the weak glow of the stove clock. He looks like he’s been there a while…too still, too far inside his own head.
“Joel?”
The sound of your voice makes him move instantly. Like he was caught somewhere he didn’t mean to be.
He straightens, pushes a hand through his hair, already standing halfway before you take another step in.
“You ok?” You ask gently as you took his face in your hands.
“Course, darlin’. Just came out for a drink of water” yet there was no cup in sight. You could see it in his eyes, he wasn’t being truthful.
“You know you can talk to me right? I won’t break” you whispered. Joel took a deep breath, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes as he took your hand and kissed it.
“I’m fine, baby. Don’t need you worryin’ about anything, alright?” He leaned in and kissed your forehead before putting your arm to hold onto him as he walked back to the bedroom. You walked silently, you knew he wouldn’t say how he really felt. Of course he wouldn’t. He was never really good at that.
~~
The next morning you woke up once again alone in bed. The sun had just come up, you yawned walking out the room to see Joel grabbing his keys off the coffee table.
“Where are you going this early?”
“Wasn’t trynna wake you, got called for a job a few hours away just for the day” he grabbed his backpack.
“But you’re off today and you barely slept” you responded with slight disappointment in your tone. Joel looked up at you somewhat in a rush, leaned in and kissed your forehead.
“I’ll be home tonight, you get your rest, baby. I’ll call you in a bit” he walked out without giving you much of a chance to respond.
You watched as he pulled out of the driveway, Tommy stepped out of the room and noticed the way you looked out the window.
“Early bird gets the worm huh” Tommy chuckled before noticing you seemed upset.
“You alright?”
You sighed before looking at Tommy.
“Yeah, probably gonna go back to bed” Tommy watched as you looked back in the direction Joel had just been in. He didn’t say anything else but he already knew what you were thinking.
~~
Joel was suppose to be home that evening, you expected him home for dinner until he called you and told you not to wait up for him. The job taking longer than he expected but he seemed ok with it, he liked being distracted.
“Don’t come back too late” you whispered, he could hear the disappointment you felt.
~~
You’ve got your hands braced on the counter, staring at nothing in particular, like if you focus hard enough you can steady the nausea in your chest instead of just your body. It’s still sinking in….twins. Yesterday’s appointment replays in flashes you didn’t ask for,the doctor’s smile, the two heartbeats, the way your hand went cold before you even processed what she said.
Joel had gone quiet after. His mind had stepped a few feet out of the room and hadn’t come back yet. Your thoughts distracted by the sound of the back door opening with a soft creak.
“Hey,” comes Tommy’s voice.
Tommy steps in like he owns the space but doesn’t try to take it over. He instantly notices, your posture, your face, the way you’re holding yourself together a little too tightly.
“You alright?” he asks, slower now.
You try to nod. It doesn’t land convincingly.
That’s all it takes.
He leans against the counter across from you. “Joel comin’ back late?”
“Yeah,” you say, but it comes out thin.
Tommy watches you the way he always does when he’s trying to figure out what someone’s not saying out loud.
Finally, you break.
“I think he’s not happy,” you say, voice cracking before you can stop it. “About the babies. About…all of it.”
Tommy’s brows pull together immediately. “No. That’s not—no.”
You shake your head, eyes stinging. “He’s different. Since yesterday…like he’s already somewhere else.”
“That ain’t Joel being unhappy,” Tommy says. “That’s Joel being Joel. He…processes things like he’s chewing on a nail until it breaks.”
“It doesn’t feel like that,” you whisper. “It feels like I did something wrong..like he’d rather be away from me.”
Tommy pushes off the counter a little. “Hey. Look at me.” When you don’t, he softens his voice. “He’s happy. I’m telling you that straight.”
You laugh once, broken. “Then why does it feel like I’m alone in this?”
That’s when the tears finally give in, slipping fast and hot down your cheeks. You hate it, hate how fast it comes out of you, hate that you can’t stop it.
Tommy doesn’t panic. He just exhales like he expected this part.
“It’s two babies,” he says quietly. “You think he’s not thinking about every way the world could try to take that from him? From you? That man doesn’t do ‘light feelings.’ He does ‘carry it all and pretend he’s fine.’”
“He was scared,” Tommy corrects gently. “That’s different.”
“I’m scared too” you whisper.
“But it’s even scarier to feel this way alone while he decides to process his feelings away from me-“
“He ain’t trynna add stress, he’s tryna hold it together for you two-“
“Well it’s not working” you snap back a little harsher than you meant to.
“Sorry” you quickly whisper, Tommy shakes his head assuring you it’s fine.
“Why don’t you get some sleep, it’s late.” You feel his hand at the center of your back as if he’s guiding you in the other direction.
“Yes, I’m gonna sleep. Been feeling extra tired already. Thanks for hearing me”
“Anytime, Uncle Tommy’s always here”
You smile at that before walking off to the bedroom.
~~
It’s almost midnight, Joel walks in exhausted, he drops his backpack at the door before noticing Tommy up in the kitchen.
“What’s got you up?” He asked as he walked past him to the fridge for something to drink.
“Waitin’ for you” Tommy responds with a matter of fact tone. He stands up with an open beer in hand and leans back on the counter.
“Listen, I was talkin’ to your lady earlier and she got real upset-“ Joel instantly turned to him, brows knit together.
“Why? What happened?” An almost defensive tone.
“Look I know you’re scared-“ he looks away as he talks not wanting to face what might’ve been Joel’s reaction.
“Two babies is a heck of a scary thing but she’s scared too man-“
“What she tell you?” Joel puts his drink down, takes a quick glance back at your bedroom door before looking back at Tommy.
“You know I don’t get in the middle, Joel. But she thinks you ain’t happy, that you’re somehow upset with her and-“
“No” Joel instantly began shaking his head.
“I know brother I told her but she ain’t convinced. Look I know you ain’t one for talkin’ but you’re gonna have to.” Joel stood silent, he knew his brother was right. Tommy walked past him and patted him on the shoulder, a touch of assurance, he had faith in his brother.
~~
He pauses outside the bedroom door, hand hovering over the knob. For a second, he considers turning around…’giving you space, waiting until morning,but the thought of you going another night feeling like that… thinking he doesn’t want this… it settles wrong in his bones.
Tommy’s words are still sitting heavy in his chest.
She cried, Joel.
That alone is enough to make something twist deep inside him.
So he opens the door slowly.
You’re asleep, curled slightly on your side, one hand resting unconsciously over your stomach. Even in the low light, he can see the faint tension still lingering in your face, like whatever upset you earlier hasn’t fully let go.
He steps closer, quieter now, like he’s afraid of disturbing something fragile. You look..peaceful. Finally. After days of morning sickness, of barely keeping food down, of exhaustion clinging to you no matter how much you sleep.
He exhales through his nose.
He should wake you. He wants to. Wants to fix it now, explain everything, make sure you never doubt him like that again.But you need the rest.
So instead, he carefully pulls off his boots, sets them aside, and slips into bed behind you.
The mattress dips slightly, and for a moment he freezes,..watching to see if you wake but you only move slightly.
Joel moves closer, slowly, until he’s right behind you. One arm slides around your waist, hesitant at first, then firmer as he pulls you gently against his chest. Protective as if he’s trying to make a point without words.
You make a small sound, barely awake, instinctively leaning back into him. Your hand shifts over your stomach, brushing against his arm.
“…Joel…” you mumble, voice soft and thick with sleep.
His chest aches.
“I’m right here,” he whispers, voice low, close to your ear.
He pulls you in a little closer, pressing his forehead lightly against the back of your head.
“Ain’t goin’ anywhere.”
You relax fully after that, your body melting into his like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Your breathing evens out again, deeper this time.Joel stays awake a while longer, just holding you.
~~
Tommy had already gone, Sarah’s off at school. You’re in the kitchen when Joel walks in, slower than usual, like he’s unsure how to start.
He took the day off. That alone tells you something’s up.
You glance at him, noticing the hesitation in the way he leans against the counter, arms crossing and uncrossing like he can’t settle.
“Everything okay?” you ask gently.
Joel exhales, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.
“…Tommy told me what happened yesterday.”
There it is.
You look down slightly, your fingers fidgeting with the edge of the counter. “Oh.”
“I didn’t mean to-“you start, but he cuts you off.
“Hey. No.” He shakes his head, stepping closer. “You ain’t gotta explain bein’ upset.” His voice softens.
“I should’ve seen it.”
That makes you look up.
Joel meets your eyes now, fully, no avoiding it.
“I’m happy,” he says, slower this time, like he needs you to really hear it. “About the twins. About…all of it.”
You search his face, trying to reconcile that with how distant he’s been.
“That don’t mean I ain’t thinkin’,” he continues, voice tightening just slightly. “Means I’m thinkin’ more than ever.”
He starts pacing a little, restless energy building.
“Three kids. You. This house. Bills. Food. Safety…” He exhales sharply. “That’s on me. It’s supposed to be.” He nods firmly as if he’s expected to take it without a reaction.
“I gotta make sure you’re all taken care of. Everythin’. That’s my job.”
You step closer to him, your expression softening.
“Joel…”
He shakes his head again, quieter now.
“I know I ain’t been sayin’ much. But that don’t mean I don’t want this.” His voice drops, more vulnerable than usual. “It just means I know what it costs.”
You reach for his hand, grounding him.
“We’re in this together,” you tell him gently. “You don’t have to carry everything by yourself.”
He looks at your hand holding his, then back at you.
“You’re already carrying two babies,” he says, almost immediately. “That’s more than enough.”
There’s an edge of protectiveness there, but also something softer…like admiration, even if he’d never call it that.
You smile just a little, squeezing his hand.
“These babies are going to have the best daddy,” you reply. “And we will both make it work however we need to.”
Joel nods although he isn’t fully convinced but willing.
He pulls you into him after that, one arm wrapping around you carefully, mindful of your stomach.
“I do want this,” he murmurs, quieter now, more certain. “All of it.”
[SUMMARY: Joel is depressed after your divorce is finalized.]
Angst and more angst, sorry this took me so long!!
The house was quiet but not the peaceful kind. The kind that pressed in on Joel Miller’s ears until he thought he might crack.
Cars passing and neighbors out on their porch talking hummed just outside the window, yet still it was too quiet. No clink of dishes from the kitchen. No soft humming when you folded laundry. No you.
The divorce papers sat on the kitchen table where he’d left them three weeks ago. He hadn’t had the heart to throw them out or even put them in a drawer.
He told everyone it was for the best.He told Tommy it was mutual.He told Sarah you just “needed some space.”
He lied.
The truth was that he still reached for you in his sleep. He dreamed of you waking him on a Sunday morning like you used to, wearing his shirt, a fresh cup of coffee you’d have made for him.
~~
He hadn’t shaved in days. Work helped..long hours, busted knuckles, something physical to drown out the ache in his chest but nights were brutal. Tonight was worse.
There was a picture frame turned face down on the nightstand. He’d turned it over the day the divorce was finalized. Sometimes he’d stop and stare at the small stupid box you’d left that you kept pushing off to pick up. Hell, he offered to bring it to you, happy that you said no because it meant there was one more reason for you to come by.
For some reason today he flipped the picture back.
You were laughing in it. Head thrown back, sunlight catching your hair, his arm tight around your waist like he was afraid the world might steal you.
Turns out he’d been right to be afraid. Just wrong about the thief. It wasn’t the world. It was him who pushed you away.
~~
That evening Joel went grocery shopping, driving the cart slowly his eyes roaming over frozen pizzas when he heard it. The sound of your voice, his chest tightened.
“Thank you” you must’ve mumbled to someone before you appeared walking out of the aisle. The second you looked up your eyes found him and you froze.
“Joel”, you stood still. He swallowed hard thinking of what to say, his mind going into overdrive. His hair longer than you had ever seen, he looked tired.
“Thought you were a mornin’ shopper” he muttered. You chuckled as your hands tightened on your shopping cart, knuckles turning white.
“Yeah, usually am. Just forgot something.” he stood silent for a moment, taking in the sight of you. It had been three months since he last saw you, you looked the same.
“How’s Sarah?” Your question distracting him.
“Good, she uh-“ just as he spoke he was interrupted by the sound of a man’s voice, a voice he wasn’t familiar with. A tall man appeared beside you, casually placing something in your shopping cart.
“I couldn’t find the chips you wanted but I got the spicy version,”
Spicy.
You didn’t like spicy.
You stood awkwardly as you watched Joel stare at your friend, your friend hadn’t even noticed him. Joel swallowed hard as his eyes found you.
“Good seein’ you,” he muttered low, the hit to his chest too hard to bear, he quickly walked off. The thought of you being with anyone hurt him in a way he had never felt before.
“Joel-“ he had already turned into an aisle, not wanting to face the reality after the divorce. Hell he pushed the cart aside and walked out the supermarket, angry, angry with himself and how things turned out.
~~
It was a lonely Friday night, Sarah was sleeping over at a friend’s house while Tommy was out with a girl. Never really knew when he was coming back but he always did.
He ended up ordering out that night after not getting his frozen pizza from the market. An old movie playing in the background but he wasn’t paying attention to it, his mind continuously wandering off to the sight of you earlier that day.
He needed a drink.
Pouring himself a glass of scotch the sound of someone knocking at the door distracted him. His brows furrowed as he walked towards the door when he looked into the peep hole and saw it was you. He hesitated for a moment before taking a step back and opening the door.
There you were wearing that damn dress he always loved to see you in, he wondered if you were wearing it for that guy you had been shopping with earlier. The thought making his stomach turn.
“Hey..” you whispered hesitantly.
“Called you a couple times..” he looked back at where his phone sat silently on the coffee table.
“Damn thing always giving me trouble, never understand what the hell its doin’”
“Oh” you spoke softly, his eyes drifting back to you as yours lingered at his coffee table.
“Well what is it” his tone stronger than he meant it to be, you looked back at him slightly taken back by it.
“I uh…I came to pick up the box I had left” he took a step back without saying a word and let you in.
“Same spot ya left it in, I’m sure you remember your way around” he muttered, a touch of sarcasm in his voice. You walked in awkwardly, holding your purse close to you for comfort as you walked down the hall of a home you hadn’t stepped inside in months. He waited quietly by the kitchen as you walked to the bedroom, his scent stronger in there as it always was, it was something that once bought you comfort. Quickly you spotted the box and got down on your knees closing it when you looked up and noticed the picture of yourself on his nightstand. It had been moved closer to the edge as if he was taking a closer look at it while in bed.
“Found what you’re lookin’ for?” His voice making you jump. Clearing your throat you stood up with the box in hand.
“Mhm,” he stood at the edge of the doorway, you slowly moved past him, your arm brushing against his chest. Your touch only making it harder for him to let you go, harder for him to accept the new reality. Then he thought of you with that guy earlier and he couldn’t hold himself anymore.
“How long you been seein’ him?” His question stopping you in your tracks, you slowly turned with a puzzled expression.
“Seeing-oh, you’re talking about Max” you raised your brows.
“Oh no, he’s- no-“ you giggled as he stood serious staring at you from across the room.
“Max he’s a coworker of mine. He’s gay, his boyfriend had just dumped him and he just wanted to hang out for a bit and vent.” You noticed the relief look in his eyes, the breath he let out and you stood still. He didn’t say a word, not exactly knowing what to say but one thing he knew for sure was he didn’t want you to leave.
“Well, I uh..better get going-“
“Wanna have a drink?” He blurt out quicker than he meant to. He could see the hesitation in your eyes as he walked towards you, stopping beside the counter. Before you could decide he walked to the cabinet and pulled out your mug, slowly sliding across the counter to your side.
That damn cup.
That was one thing you left behind purposely.
You and him with your assigned mugs, having yours alone would only taunt you of a life you no longer had.
He filled your cup just enough, you watched him take a quick shot of the drink and pour himself another.
“I thought you were slowing down” you spoke softly, he raised his brows as he swallowed.
“Funny how things change, ain’t it?” He didn’t look at you, it almost hurt him to. This had been the first time the two of you were alone together in months, he never felt he had a real conversation about how things ended..the both of you avoiding the truth.
“Sarah’s asked about you” he crossed his arms leaning back as you took a slow slip of your drink. You were never much of a drinker.
“Oh yeah?” A sad smile on your face.
“She misses you” he continued, eyes down on the ground.
He missed you.
He replayed the day over and over in his mind, coming home to a letter on the nightstand, all your stuff gone. Yeah sure, the two of you had argued the night before but that wasn’t new. He remembered the sinking feeling he felt as he read your words.
I can’t do this anymore, nothing feels right anymore.
You could see in that moment his mind was elsewhere, you wondered what he was thinking of. His brows furrowed as he took a deep breath.
“Maybe I’ll see her around sometime” your voice made him suddenly look up, but he wasn’t focused on what you were saying. For the first time Joel had you in front of him, a few feet away, and all he could think of was how he let you down. How he pushed you away and how much you begged him not to.
“I miss you” he whispered as tears formed in his eyes. Your heart pulled at him, of course you missed him too.
“Joel…” you whispered, his body straightened as he began to walk towards you.
“I can’t- I can’t stop thinking about you, baby” his voice hoarse, he walked around the counter towards you.
“Joel, please” your eyes began to tear, his words held a weight on your heart you couldn’t bear.
“I really should go”
“Please don’t go, please” his eyes desperately searching yours. God he looked so broken, part of you just wanted to hold him.
He towered over you, you felt his breath on you as he spoke.
“We’re suppose to be together, we promised each other that-“
“Joel we-“ his hands were suddenly on your waist, delicate yet firm. Your breathing quickened as he leaned toward you.
“Tell me you don’t love me” your brows furrowed a bit confused.
“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll leave you alone, I won’t say another word-“
“Joel..we’re already divorced-“
“I don’t care what a damn paper says” he snapped back.
“I never stopped lovin’ you, baby” his eyes now tracing your lips, you felt a flutter in you. A flutter in your chest, down to the pit of your stomach as he leaned in closer when reality set back in.
“No” you shoved his hands away taking a step back.
“You don’t get to do this now…not after everything, I’m still putting myself back together” your voice cracked as you spoke.
Joel could see the pain you felt and it crushed him.
“Not after how much I begged you..” you whispered, his eyes widening with tears.
God, you hate that it still hurts.
“I didn’t know how to…” He exhales, dragging a hand over his face. “Just tryin’ to keep up with the damn bills, Sarah, you-“
“And instead,” you cut in, voice tight, “you gave me nothing. No love, no anger, no anything. Just…emptiness.”
His gaze snaps back to you, something raw breaking through. “That’s not true.”
“It is.” Your throat burns, but you don’t stop. “Do you know what it feels like to beg your husband to let you in?”
Joel swallowed hard.
“You didn’t need to see that.” He whispered.
“Yes. Yes I did.”
“I tried, I swear I did” his voice cracked.
“Not enough,” you whisper. “Not when it counted.”
Joel steps closer, hesitant, like you might disappear if he moves too fast. “I’m sorry,” he says, and it sounds different this time. Not defensive. Just…broken. “I’m so damn sorry. I didn’t realize I was losing you until you were already gone.”
Your chest tightens. Of course he didn’t. That’s always been the problem.
“There was a moment,” you say suddenly, the words slipping out before you can stop them. Your heart stutters as soon as they’re in the air. “Before I left.”
He stills. “What moment?”
You hesitate. You shouldn’t say it. It doesn’t change anything.
But it does.
“I thought I was pregnant.”
The silence that follows is deafening.
Joel’s face drains, eyes widening like the ground just dropped out from under him. “You… what?”
“I missed my period. Took a test. It was positive.” You shrug, but it’s forced, brittle. “False positive. I even went to the doctor to double check.”
Joel fights the urge to step forward.
He’s staring at you like he doesn’t recognize you. Like he’s trying to piece together a version of reality he never saw. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
A laugh escapes you, sharp and humorless. “Seriously?”
“I would’ve been there, positive or negative.” he says quickly yet slowly stepping closer again. “You didn’t need to go through that alone”
You meet his eyes, and whatever softness was trying to creep in hardens into something colder. “You weren’t there for me, Joel.”
“I was living with you, sleeping next to you, and I felt completely alone. Why would I tell you something like that when you’d already shut me out of everything else?”
His mouth opens, then closes. There’s no easy answer. There never was.
“You shouldn’t have had to try,” you fire back. “You were my husband. You were supposed to already be there.”
The words hit, and you see it…see them land, see the guilt settle deep in his chest.
For a second, he looks like he’s about to fall apart.
“If you weren’t, I would’ve stood beside you, held you if you needed me to…if you wanted me to. And if you were….I would’ve loved that baby,” he says, voice rough. “I would’ve-“
“I’m glad I wasn’t pregnant.”
The sentence slices through everything.
Joel freezes.
You swallow, forcing yourself to hold his gaze, even as your chest feels like it’s caving in. “Because bringing a child into what we had back then?” You shake your head slowly. “That would’ve been worse.”
His face crumples in that quiet, devastating way that makes it hard to look at him.
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do.” Your voice is softer now, but no less firm. “I wasn’t going to raise a kid in a house where love felt like something we had to dig for.”
Another silence. Longer this time. Final.
Joel exhales shakily, eyes glassy but refusing to let anything fall. “I can fix it,” he says, like he’s clinging to the last piece of hope he’s got. “We can fix it. I’ll do better. I know I can. I’ll do whatever you need me to do.” Joel just wanted you back, in his life, in his arms, in his bed. He couldn’t take it. Your lips parted just as you were about to respond when the sound of the door being unlocked made you both stiffen. You took a deep breath straightening yourself as Tommy walked in humming to himself when he looked up and noticed you standing a few feet away.
“Oh-“ he knew he had just walked in on something.
“Hey Tommy,” you smiled looking away, you bent down to grab the box you had, avoiding any eye contact with either. Joel watched silently.
“Finally came to get this last box” you chuckled as you walked towards the door before you stopped for a moment and turned to Joel.
“Tell Sarah I’ll see her around, take care.” You turned back as you took a deep breath, smiled at Tommy and let yourself out.
Tommy turned back to see his brother staring at the door you had just walked out of. Watching as a piece of his heart had just walked away from him.
“What was that about?” Tommy’s voice distracted Joel, he looked at his little brother as if he had just realized he stepped into the room.
“Nothin’, your timin’ is always just right” Joel whispered sarcastically before grabbing the bottle of liquor that sat on the counter and walking back to his bedroom..
💬 18 🔁 6 ❤️ 117 · The Risks We Take · Chapter 2: Veiled [Chapter 1 is linked below.]
[SUMMARY: After Joel accidentally hurts you causin
The Risks We Take
Chapter 3
[SUMMARY: After you lost your memory Joel finds it hard to keep his distance from you. Tension grows between you two until he allows temptation to finally take over.]
Smut angst
Joel followed you as you rushed up your front porch and into your house.
“Hey!” He called out for you quickly catching up. You paced around the living room throwing your jacket over the couch as he shut the door behind him.
“Hey- wait a minute” he attempted to calm you down, he attempted somehow to fix whatever the hell he thought you figured out.
“I don’t like not remembering anything, I-I..I don’t like being the only one who doesn’t know what’s going on-“ you brushed your hands through your hair shaking your head. Joel only stood and listened to what you had to say, to what you needed to let out.
“I hate that the only thing I can remember is-“ you looked away as tears began to form in your eyes.
“Things I don’t want to remember” you breathed deeply, Joel’s gaze locked onto yours, eyes wide, as if he were trying to read something just beneath the surface of your face. His brows lifted slightly, the corners drawn in, worry settling there like a quiet storm gathering behind his expression. He didn’t say a word, he didn’t know what to say.
“The only good thing around me that I know is you” your words caught him off guard as you walked towards him.
“You’re the only thing I’m certain of that doesn’t make me anxious or unsure and you’ve been so good to me in the short time you’ve been with me” you whispered, his gaze moving back and forth between your lips and eyes as you spoke and moved closer toward him.
“You’ve been so good to me, it’s just…everyone is so confusing..” you whispered looking up at him, his eyes focused now tracing your lips.
In that very moment Joel wanted to pull you in and kiss you deeply but he knew it was wrong. What you were saying wasn’t the truth, he wasn’t something good if you knew it all. A war in that very moment between right and wrong in his head, he couldn’t fight it, especially with the way you looked at him.
“Are you listening to me?” You whispered, something in him that moment just clicked. Whether it was the sound of your voice or the look in your eyes, he didn’t know but unexpectedly he slowly leaned forward, his hand gently caressing your face. Your eyes widened as you noticed the way he stared down at your lips, pausing for just a moment, giving you a chance to stop him. His breath you could feel against your lips.
You didn’t stop him.
Joel closed his eyes as if savoring the moment before it began, gently pressing his lips to yours, careful and full of feeling. The world seemed to pause as your eyes drifted shut, the quiet warmth of the kiss wrapping around you like something delicate, and deeply comforting.
His tongue parting your lips, you felt his hand at the small of your back pull you against him as he kissed you. Your hands resting on his chest before you pushed them up around his neck. You pulled your lips away for just a moment taking a deep breath, his nose brushing against yours, he didn’t want to stop.
He moved slowly, every motion laced with quiet patience. His hands now hovered at your waist, not demanding,waiting for you to invite him in. His eyes searched yours, for permission. When you nodded, a soft exhale slipped past his lips, as if he’d been holding his breath. He held you close kissing you passionately.
You slowly took a step back, not saying a word, Joel didn’t move giving you space..and you did the least expected. Pulling your shirt over your head, you then threw it aside. You stood before him in a black bra, he swallowed hard taking a deep breath, knowing damn well what he was about to do.
“You’re the only thing that doesn’t confuse me” you whispered as you reached behind yourself and unhooked your bra. You could feel your heart beating practically out of your chest. You couldn’t remember the last time a man looked at you this way…or touched you, on your terms.
You let the bra drop.
Joel’s eyes darkened at the sight of your bare breasts, aching to touch them, aching to feel you.
When he did step forward, he slowly removed his jacket, his eyes never leaving yours. His fingers brushed your skin at your waist, it was like he was memorizing it,soft strokes, light as whispers. His hold on your waist tightening as he kissed you again,warm and deliberate, mapping a trail down to the hollow of your neck. You tensed for a heartbeat, and he stopped, he didn’t move until he felt you soften up against him again.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered, voice low and steady, his forehead resting gently against yours.
You nodded again, more surely this time. Your hand reached for his, placing them onto the button of your pants.
“Take them off me” you whispered. He did just as you asked and watched you close your eyes as he pulled them down to your ankles. His breath warm against your thigh till you felt the flutter of his facial hair against you. He kissed your thighs slowly until he reached your most sensitive area. He felt you tremble, you squeezed your eyes shut.
“Joel-“
“Look at me” his voice rough, direct. You did as he asked and took a deep breath before feeling his lips land on your core. Your knees almost buckled, you held onto the wall, you felt him slightly lift up your leg and drape it over his shoulder. His hot breath now connecting to your wetness, until you felt his tongue. Your hips jerked as you gasped, Joel’s grasp on you tightening as he balanced you on him.
He knew it wasn’t right, every part of him screamed it..but the fire inside him was louder. The lust had taken over, raw and blinding, tangled up with something deeper, something real. His feelings for you had long crossed the line of control, and now they ruled him completely. In that moment, with your breath hitching and your eyes pulling him in, nothing else mattered. He needed to touch you, taste you, lose himself in you. All he could think about was making you feel good…aching to worship every inch of you.
His tongue pushing you to heights of ecstasy you never thought you’d feel again, just as a moan escaped your lips, shocking yourself. Yet, he could still feel you holding back.
“You still with me?” His voice a rough whisper.
Your body lightly trembled with excitement. And with every touch you allowed, you answered: Yes.
He could tell your body was on the edge of an orgasm. Each flick of his tongue he had to balance you more firmly, his hands on you tightly. Yet, he knew you kept fighting the orgasm, something your body became too used to doing.
You weren’t exactly sure how to let yourself simply be, but you wanted to so badly.
You gasped for air as Joel stood up, your body still trembling.
“I’m sorry” you whispered.
“Don’t be” he kissed you as he began to remove the rest of his clothes before guiding you to the bedroom.
His lips keeping you at ease kissing you gently against your neck before he lay you back on the bed.
Trying not to think too much into what you felt, you let him place himself over you. His legs spreading yours, his eyes filled with hunger as he felt himself at your entrance.
From the first moment you felt him enter you, your breath caught, nails digging into his back. His eyes drinking you in as you threw your head back in a moan.
“Look at me” he whispered, and when you did as he asked, there he was appreciating the sight of you in every way he could. Each thrust bringing you closer together, the first time you felt safe being touched by a man. His hands couldn’t get enough of you. Roaming down to your thighs, up to your waist, every inch of you feeling worshiped by him. A ball of pleasure slowly building up in the pit of your stomach.
“Joel-“ you choked out.
He knew.
“It’s alright, baby, let it go” his voice deep and smooth, it made you melt.
“Joel..” you whimpered on edge, he felt you tightening up around him.
“Come on, cum for me, baby’” he moved faster. Your eyes squeezed shut as a rush of unexplainable pleasure ran through your body down to your toes. Grabbing onto him you cried out as he thrusted harder making the pleasure that much more intense. You couldn’t take it, you screamed in relief as Joel watched you, hypnotized with the look in your eyes.
“That’s it, baby…there it is..” he whispered, but you couldn’t hear him, your eyes in a daze as your body sunk back into the bed. You hadn’t even noticed his face changed just as he felt himself about to burst.
“Jesus-“ he whispered to himself as his body tensed up, he abruptly rolled over onto his back and jerked himself off, his moan taking over the room. He looked down watching as cum spilled out of him, he panted loudly before throwing his head back and laying flat. The both of you panting, you didn’t move, he couldn’t. After a moment he turned over to find you staring at him in awe.
“You alright?” He whispered.
You nodded before staring back at the ceiling in silence.
~~
Joel ended up staying the night.
He found himself waking up in the middle of the night to find you nuzzled up against his chest. You seemed so peaceful, you seemed at ease. In that moment guilt slowing creeping up the pit of his stomach. His soft gaze turning to disappointment within himself. He couldn’t look at you, quickly turning away he stared off into the dark room and took a deep breath.
What the hell was he thinking, he dug himself in too deep. He never planned for this to go this far, he swore he didn’t. A soft sound escaped your lips distracting him from his thoughts, he quickly looked down at you to see you nuzzle up closer to him, your hand flat on his bare chest.
The next morning you woke up alone in bed, a moment from the night before flashing in your mind before you sat up with a sigh.
“Joel?” you called out but didn’t hear a thing.
~~
Buttoning your shirt you made your way downstairs hearing some movement. Once you made your way to the kitchen Joel was on the floor, a hammer beside him as he wiggled your stool around.
“Joel?” You frowned confused, he quickly looked up and pushed himself off the floor.
“Thought I’d straighten that stool of yours out,” he sounded somewhat pleased with himself. Truth be told he needed something to distract him, something to keep him busy from what his true thoughts.
“It ain’t leanin’ side to side no more, come check it out” he motioned for you to sit in the chair, awkwardly you stepped towards him and sat down.
“Thank you” you smiled, his smile slowly fading the more he looked down at you, those damn eyes of yours pulling him in when he was suppose to be doing the damn opposite. You stood up and walked towards him, he didn’t move. Gently you planted a kiss on his cheek, he closed his eyes breathing in deeply, feeling the softness of your lips on him, your hand brushing up his chest. He wanted you in that very moment, his body yearning to feel himself in you again before he snapped himself out of it.
“Gotta get goin’” he whispered, his eyes opened yet he looked away from you.
“Tommy’s waitin’ on me” he continued, you pulled back slowly and nodded.
“Of course” you whispered, for just a moment he looked back at you, the confused look in your eyes crushing him before he abruptly walked away. Joel walked out of your house, eyes focused on the ground as he walked towards the barn. Distracted with his thoughts he didn’t know he was being watched, Jesse and Ellie both catching him leaving your house bright and early, they looked at each other but didn’t say a word.
~~
“Mornin’ Joel” Tommy greeted his brother as he walked in the barn but quickly noticed his expression. Tommy’s brows furrowed as his brother silently got to work.
“You alright?” Tommy’s question making Joel finally look up.
“Yeah”
Tommy wasn’t convinced.
“Still stayin’ with her?” Joel looked down distracting himself with work and nodded.
“Mhm” Tommy could see it in his brother, it was turning into something much deeper than he had ever intended.
“Look-“ Tommy walked up to him.
“I ain’t trynna get in the middle, just think it’s best you distance yourself before you get caught up more than you already have” Joel looked up directly at him, that look alone gave it away.
“Geez, Joel..don’t tell me-“
“I didn’t plan it” Joel looked away in shame.
“We’ve just been-“
“Too damn attached to each other. I knew this would happen. Shit, Joel she ain’t in the right state of mind for that. That’s only gonna confuse her more-“
“You don’t think I know that!” Joel snapped at his brother, Tommy took a deep breath.
“Look..all I’m sayin’ is..this ain’t good..”
Joel looked away rubbing the back of his neck when suddenly the doors opened.
Ellie and Jesse walked in silently, Tommy taking a step back to give them room to walk by. Both of them glared at Joel who didn’t look up, he had no idea that they had heard it all…
