Jorex

Why'd you need TRUST when you have JOREX? iykwim  😈😈😈

[joewrecksthecola]

Things of value that are left unattended are bound to get lost. Hence, for someone who knew their worth, they'd think it's a waste of time and effort to force theirselves to someone who do not.

Jorex

[joewrecksthecola]

Think positive to be positive

I am always impressed by how Sir Ago writes his stories or how he reviewed "Tutob", A film that my college seniors produced for a national film festival, rather. One line that left imprinted in my mind was: "you're reinforcing the negativity on your film".

I can't help but relate since all my written stories somehow reinforce how sad or lonely i feel when it comes to relationships. I can't help comparing it to my music playlist, movie preferences, and daily life choices. They all reinforce the negativity in my life and by doing so, it amplifies it and makes you believe that it's your kind of normal. Which in fact is not.

The way you think is the seed that you plant in your head, and if it sprouts, it shows on how you deal with the things around you. So, think positively to stay positive.

[joewrecksthecola]

The story behind this design. To some, this would be just a regular design in a shirt or in a hoodie, but for me, it’s something else.

It was around 7pm or 8pm, was just scrolling down on facebook when i found something quite troubling for me; a comment in a post from someone i am into.

I was trembling to the thought that what she commented down was true. Messaged a dear friend(the one i confided everything about her) and told her what i’ve found. She convinced me that it MIGHT not be true and that i should remain calm.

But no word could calm my nerves, i’m shaking uncontrollably, hands and feet were cold and sweaty that i decided to lie down. Played a music through my headset with the maximum volume on with the hopes to deafen myself from those sad possible truths barking inside my head. Tears rolled down.

Few minutes passed and a message came thru from work, a design project. It’s crippling working at this state, your creative juices would seemed like clogged inside your head disabling you to function properly. The project description was that i should design something showcasing a brown trout. As I search the net for references, the thought about the person i was into kept on nagging: “what if it’s true?” “what if they’re just kidding around?” “what if i’ll never find out?”

And then, from there i was reminded with the quote: “the truth shall set you free”. Because yes, i’ll never have peace of mind not unless i’ll know the truth. I used this as my drive to complete this project and i’m quite happy with the output.

This post shall remind me of that moment. I am convinced what I experienced was an anxiety attack. My mind was like acting on it’s own, taking everything and replacing it with thoughts of worries and visions. Looking back to that night, i find myself scoffing myself for how petty it was. But i know, that night was quite hard for me.

[joewrecksthecola]

Broken Demon

There was once a proud demon who boasts how elegant his horns were. How it's length disabled him from entering the cathedral. Oh how proud he is.

But then, he met a being of beauty and kindness. Words could not describe how it hit him, how it shaken his foundations. For all it took was just a word.

A word that would put him on his knees. A word that made his horns unsightly for him. A word that would make him pray. A word as simple and straightforward as: "Godbless" P.S. image is a WIP that i’m not planning to finish. 

[joewrecksthecola]

“So, what now?”

“So, what now?”, I asked myself after brushing the fact that i did just confess. “What do we do? Aren’t we rushing things?”, a flood of dubious questions filled my head. I pressed mute on these voices and reached deep down to my own voice. To hear what I have to say for myself and my recent actions. And the words that followed stunned me: “You were pressured... in ruins... desperate. These are the drives that lead you to this situation. Consequences shall follow, better brace for impact. Also, mind the people you dragged into this situation. You might end up damaging them in the process.” This made me realize that I opened another door in hell, another room to deal and strive to survive. I’ve just took the first step inside, now what?

[joewrecksthecola]

"atleast dii ako ang nang-iwan" words that help me get through my saddest days.

[joewrecksthecola]

She told me to stay so I did. Little did I know, she'd be the one to leave.

[joewrecksthecola]

CHOICES

You wanna talk to her but can’t. You’re in a proposition with yourself not to get involved with her. Yet, you can’t ignore the sudden urges to reach out to her. The more you suppress, the more it gets irresistible. Now, you locked yourself up. How long? Only you’d know. For all you want is to stop this sinful sensation. The question is: Can it be stopped? You wanna talk to him but can’t. You have decided that seeing or talking with him would end tragically. So, you’re patiently waiting for his initiative to reach out to you. Yet, the more you wait, the more restless you get. “Did he forget about me?”. “Am I that unimportant?”. “Just who am I to be missed?”. Thoughts like these filled your mind. It made you question yourself: Can I initiate? For the both side reached stalemate. What’s supposedly burning has now been reduced to embers. Left unattended for too long and it would dissipate. Both side thought they don’t have a choice, but what they did not realize is, IT WAS THEIR CHOICE.

[joewrecksthecola]

Centennial Sunset

It was around 3pm when they reach the sanctuary. Sun still up high. It was summer and the sun won’t set ‘til past 5 to 6. They sat on a stone pile around a tree. They sat in silence, waiting for the first one to speak. The guy can sense the tension of the situation as what he’s to speak, tears would follow. The lady on the other hand, oblivious of what’s to come. She kept herself busy by fiddling her phone. “The sun is sure still up high”, the guy started. “Anyways, I’m sorry I can’t totally appreciate this, I’m not the appreciating-the-nature type of a guy.”, he explained. Then, small talks followed. The guy trying to make the set-up comfy and as soon as he feels it’s the right time to speak up. He started with these words: “As I value our friendship, I can’t sit idly seeing that it’s compromising another relationship. Your romantic relationship with him, per se. I can’t handle the burden to be one of the reasons of your break-up.” The surrounding seems to be quieter although the sanctuary is full of people enjoying their moments. Indistinct laughter sounds like farther than it actually is. Peddlers seemed to ignore them, and the sunset feels like a day away. Their conversation has now become heavier. The light also seemed dimmer although the sun hasn’t set yet. There were explanations, revelations and tears shed. These seemed to go on forever but as soon as the tide calmed down, it was around 5pm, the sun is setting, the light golden, and they’ve both realized, hopefully, that friendship is all there was.

[joewrecksthecola]

April Fool’s Joke

It was April 1. It's their first anniversary and not every couple have anniversaries like this.

Jane, the girl, hopeful but not expecting for surprises sets herself for her class. They just had a quarrel the day before yesterday making the chance a surprise she's hoping quite slim. She's now going to school, thinking on the way how to react if ever a surprise is gonna happen.

Just before she gets in the gate, Ed, the guy, called her from behind. Jane, stopped, turned around, and to her dismay, no bouquet of flowers or chocolates in Ed's hand. His face hard to read. They've been best of friends before they set sail on their next level, but, this type of face is something unfamiliar to her. Ed approached Jane. Jane still eyes locked on Ed’s face.

“I can’t take this any more longer.”, Ed started. “It’s been a year and I’ve been carrying this burden for a year too. Jane, I’m sorry but we’re better off as best of friends.”

Jane, stumped by the phrases she’d just heard, stayed silent.

“It was today a year ago, when a fault of mine dragged you into this mess.”, Ed continued. “You were vulnerable and it’s too late for me to realize. We were just throwing April fools joke when I didn’t notice my joke was already below the belt. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.” Ed has now got his head down. Tears trickling down the pavement.

Jane cooped Ed’s chin, as she lifted his head, Ed, through his teary eyes sees Jane smiling.

“That’s okay, silly! We’ve proved it wrong, didn’t we? Nothing to worry about!”, she said with a smile.

“I wish I could say the same.” Ed replied, eyes locked to her while holding Jane’s hand on his chin and gently shove it away. “I’m not ready.” He sniffled. “I’m really sorry.”

Ed left her there as he goes first and get inside the gate. Jane followed him with her gaze. Her eyes now getting teary but the moment she just experienced was far more than enough to make her cloudy day into a day suffering from a thunderstorm.

She seemed to be glued on the spot and as soon as Ed was gone from her view she ran, weeping, back to her place. Threw her bag across the room and jumped on her bed. Shedding the tears of disappointment, hate, anger, and God only knows what as she find herself chasing her breaths. The feeling made her too exhausted that made her body retire into slumber.

An april fools joke then, is not an april fools joke today. A friendly reminder from yours truly.

[joewrecksthecola]

the world have moved on, but i did not

never thought i would feel some sort of sentiment over things that wouldn't happen again... EVER. I must be somewhat frustrated over the developments recently and my being couldn’t cope up. I tried diverting my attention to something else but everytime i’m done, i’d go back at feeling terrible. and the more I explore another option to divert my attention, it treads me to somewhere that would make me feel more worse. The world moved on, but I did not. I was wrapped in my bubble of make believe that once I get back to where I left off, it would be still there where I left them. I believe, i just popped that bubble and now the truth are revealed to me. There’s little to nothing left. Now, I have to catch up. The last train mustn’t have departed yet. Must get on or it’ll be too late for ya boii~ peaceout!

[joewrecksthecola]

...unfortunately, ‘tis the love you don’t need. ‘Tis the love that doesn’t matter. For those eyes are set towards another, and I knew better.

[joewrecksthecola]

Reminds me of you

“I've been pacing around my room thinking about how I like the color indigo it reminds me of you

I saw a bug on the window pane I saw a drop followed by the rain it reminds me of you

and you got me thinking about all of your freckles and the corners of your mouth do you think that I'm weird? I like your kisses and I wish that you were here all the time I got you on my mind all I do reminds me of you” Grabbed from Tessa Violets’ original song titled “Bird Song”. As cliche as it may sound but damn, the lyrics somehow reminds me of you.

[joewrecksthecola]

UNO

UNO! siyang sigaw mo napalingon ang aking ulo iisang baraha nalang hawak mo lima tayo pero apat kaming tinalo mo

mula sa tumpok ako’y bumunot “swap” at sa gitna ay aking inabot ika’y nagulat at ang aking mga baraha ay iyong hinablot nang dumampi ang kamay, ay naku! napaka lambot

ang laro ay ating munting katuwaan pero bakit akoy may ibang napagmasdan? Taliwala sa iyong kagandahan, mabusilak din pala ang iyong kalooban Una pa natin tong pagsasama kaya hindi ko akalaing ito’y napakasaya subalit lumipas ang ilang buwan na dii ko mapagkaila ika’y nakatali na pala sa iba ako’y naging iyong katiwala mga bagay at tawa na dapat sa atin lang dalawa pero bakit sa kalooban ko’y iba ang nadarama ikaw nga ba’y barkada o aking na unsyaming sinta

[joewrecksthecola]

Pathway Memory

I was there on the side of the pathway She passed me by while her hair sway Something made her paused along the way Just enough for her name to be read by me

Her name was etched in my memory Always thinking if I might meet her someday After a year and a half flies away Chances brought us together in a crossway

But I did not expect it could cause my heart to flay The reason why, I just could not say It might be because of this reason so tiny: She never look like the way again the way I saw her on the pathway.

[joewrecksthecola]

Pakikipagkilala

ikay nakita at gustong makilala nagsaliksik at ang dami nating mutual friends pala at ng ako sayo'y pinakilala, maskin isang lingon man lang ay wala

ika'y patuloy na gustong makilala sa pagsaliksik, sa iyo pala'y maraming humahanga dun ko hindi mapagkakaila ako'y dapat tumigil na at baka akoy nakakaabala na

[joewrecksthecola]

The Colonization of Mars

God’s creation, specifically man, was the major breakthrough of His creations. Yet, little did He know his alter ego, Satan has something different in mind. Satan has no whatsoever knowledge upon this creation and seek God for how to make one. God, who’s quite humble as well as confident of His work told Satan that He, God, can’t answer it directly and advised Satan to find it out himself from man itself. So with God’s consent, Satan came down on earth to do his mighty research. Satan might have tampered some elements on earth in the process but God was always there to make amends. After a length of who-knows-how-long, Satan finally got the recipe he’s looking for. Now, He’s on his way to Mars to colonize it with his modified version of these so called man. Only time can tell if these are upgrades of their predecessors or a tool of man’s demise.