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Product Placement
ojovivo
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Mike Driver

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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Janaina Medeiros
will byers stan first human second
KIROKAZE
Claire Keane

#extradirty
Peter Solarz
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cherry valley forever

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dirt enthusiast

@theartofmadeline
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@johnnienolan
No History
You don’t choose your football team.
You don’t get that luxury. Football is about cultural identity.
There is no way I would choose to be a Manchester City, too many years of pain and shame.
Too much failure, too much confidence sapping underperformance.
Too much being typical City, a short code for dissapointment.
However, we are no longer noisy neighbours, we are now ruining football. Now we are the object of distain because we are too successful. The accusation is that City have bought success. City have bought it with dirty money.”
The new status of a Trophy winning steamroller does not change my personal rollercoaster relationship with City, I still have too many scars, I still think we can lose at any moment. I have too much muscle memory of heart break.
City have plenty of new fans now. They are part of the rebirth. They have no layer of cynisism, no trauma. I can’t criticise them. Who wouldn’t want to be part of this ride?
I think I’ve just talked myself into acknowledging that you can choose your team. I’ve just recognised my own hubris, “you can choose your team as long as it’s my team”.
There will always be those who attach themselves to success. Those that are addicted to winning and bathing in the assumed glory of association.
The Liverpool fans of the 80’s, the Manchester United fans of the 90’s - the Manchester City fans of right now.
It’s 10 years since I last nearly stopped breathing as Aguerooooo exhaled and exploded into hyperbole. It’s 10 years since I stuffed my head down the back of the sofa refusing to watch as we slumped to two nil down against a 10-man QPR. It’s 10 years since we denied Manchester United the farewell title to their long serving manager. It’s 10 years since 3-2 was conjured up in a slow-motion moment of desperate disbelief during extra time. It’s 10 years since we lived through something “You will never experience again”
A lot has changed in 10 years.
Our main rivals are now Liverpool whilst Manchester United have dissolved into mid table mediocracy on a mangerial Merrygoround!
Going into the last game of the season 10 yeas later,there are two candidates for the title.
All of the talk is of Liverpool doing the Quadruple. They have already won the League and FA Cups and have booked a place in the European Champions League final to meet Real Madrid who scored 3 goals, 1 on the 90th, minute, another on the 90+1 minute and a third on the 9+5 minute to deny City who were leading 0-1 right up to the 90th a place in the final. Unlike 10 years ago when all the talk and all the goodwill was with City, it is now with Liverpool.
A lot has changed since May 2012. We used to be everyone’s second favourite team. Not anymore. We are now “everything that is wrong with football”, “we have no history”.
I don’t get pestered with the condescension anymore, I don’t get the sympathetic patronising of ‘Bless him, he’s a Blue!”
We are now the dominant force in English football, well on the way to being the greatest football club in the world. We are super funded by oil money, read into that what you will. We do have a mercurial manager in Pep Guardiola, who has brought 4 of the last 5 championship to Manchester City. The club is a seemingly unstoppable machine. It is now part of a group that owns football clubs in the US, Australia, Japan, Uruguay, Spain, China, India, Belgium, France and Italy.
The heart felt affection that was there in 2012 and spilled onto the pitch after the final whistle has dissolved. Were it not for the sublime, frenetic and dominant performances on the pitch many of the journalists who wrote about our accession are now poised to catalogue the demonisation of the club. Be it judged guilty of financial misconduct without fair investigation or complicit of sportswashing as a cover for sovereign wealth, the on the pitch balletics are seldom given credit. Our success has been bought. “American owners good, Arab owners bad”, they bleat.
A lot has changed.
Sunday morning, on the countdown to kick off the leader writers were extolling the potential of a Liverpool Quadruple. City, meanwhile, just have to equal or better the result at Anfield to spoil the Merseyside party. City are one point ahead with a tremendous goal difference, if City loose and Liverpool draw, the Premiership trophy will be adorned with sky blue ribbons, not red ones.
Of course, it didn’t have to come down to the last day. Only the week before had City snatched uncertainty from the jaws of victory. 2-0 down at half time away at West Ham, Riyad Marhez stepped up to take a penalty that would have secured a 2-3 comeback. Marhez who had scored all 4 of his last 4 penalties in Premier League. The inevitable fumble meant that the honours were shared 2-2. An unassailable lead in the league did not come to pass. Instead, here we are again ultimate jeopardy. 90 minutes to decide the championship, 38 games reduced to the lottery of a cup final.
There’s one more twist. Steven Gerard. Once the muse of the Kop, now cutting his teeth in what many consider his apprenticeship as manager of Aston Villa before the inevitable move home. City can be denied by the former Liverpool captain, who famously tripped “on his f@cking arse” and failed to deliver the Premiership to Anfield.
The pro Liverpool script reads like this, Gerard leads Aston Villa to victory and ‘the magician’ Cortinio (another former darling of Merseyside) scores the winner. It is written apparently. The final wish of Everton’s fall from the Premier League has already been denied, they managed to comeback from 2-0 to win 3-2, beating Crystal Palace to secure survival and avoid relegation. But the Liverpool dream still looms large. The quadruple, Gerard, destiny.
I still carry my childhood scars of typical City. I still genuinely think we are going to lose every game. Even when we are 4-0 up at half time, with 90% possession, my gut is telling me that we can screw it up in a second. It is the hope that kills you.
The Real Madrid Champions League semi-final score only reinforces my fear.
The preceding Friday night I had been telling friends that I couldn’t watch and that I was going to go to bed, only to be summoned once we were 5-0 up. But I sat there from kick off, tetchy and twitching. It catches me unaware. I don’t see myself as nervous, but I am, and I seem to be projecting those nerves onto the pitch. The fluid graceful pinpoint passing of the new Man City has gone. De Bruyne doesn’t seem to be able to stay on his feet.
But news from Anfield, Wolverhampton Wanderers score. Maybe the ghost of City past has moved on, maybe it is going to be alright. Liverpool are losing at home, City are still champions to be.
Relax.
Then Aston Villa score.
I run away from the TV screaming; I can’t watch. I distract myself by doing jobs about the house and out in the garden, I can’t watch. I can barely listen to the commentary playing on my phone in my pocket.
Then Villa score again - Cortinio.
City are two – nil down.
Surely this afternoon can’t be going to Gerard inspired script, surely the football gods are not that cruel.
But Liverpool are not yet Champions they have to score twice.
Liverpool score and equalise.
City are still Champions as it stands, albeit on goal difference. A Liverpool draw is not enough to wrench the title from City.
I now have to watch; I can’t be a coward. I watch, but out of the corner of my eye, pacing in front of the TV.
What happens next has to be replayed many, many times before I can compute what I am seeing. I am crying, I am shouting and screaming. I am gasping for breath.
By Monday I have scoured every version of the highlights, including a two-game masterpiece on MOTD, which switches between Manchester and Liverpool as the pendulum swings and story unfolds. There is however no better version than one that just shows the 5 minutes in real time.
Five minutes. With only 16 minutes to go, City are 0-2 down. One more goal from Liverpool will snatch the title. City have to score 3.
City have to win 3-2.
Watch it. 5 minutes. 3 goals.
Each one of them a masterpiece in precision passing and positive self-determination.
Sterling stops dead with the ball, stands still confounding the defence. He dummies a left and feigns to the right taking the ball past everyone to curl a pinpoint floating cross on to the charging head of Ilkay Gundogan
Gundogan retrieves the ball and sprints to the restart.
Zinchenko is out on the left he seems to stroll past the defence with ball at his feet as he takes the long way round, to pinpoint pass to Rodri, who side steps on the ball to place it out of reach. 2-2
An underpowered and desperate Villa pass leaves to ball lingering by the box. De Bruyne has now grabbed it by the scruff of the neck, no way is he going to allow City to lose this game, this title. “Not on my watch.” He runs through two defenders, two defenders befuddled by what is happening. A defence punch drunk and bewildered. De Bruyne passes across the goal and Gundogan pounces.
5 minutes. It is breathtaking.
Liverpool now dismantle Wolves, but destiny is not in their control
Only Aston Villa can win the league for Liverpool, only with one more goal from Villa will the title go to Anfield.
But too much has happened. Liverpool never had one hand on the trophy, there was never a point when the standby crew at Anfield were about to erect a trophy presentation podium.
At no time we’re City not going to win. It’s easy to see that now.
It’s going to take time for me to relearn.
It’s going to take time for me to understand the new City.
A concecutive Premership title.
No Champions League.
The more things change, the more things stay the same.
Football is not about winning; it is more important than that.
I am number 12
It's Autumn term for my kids. This means rugby at school for the boys and the start of a new season in Sunday league football. So far I've seen two rugby games and four football matches. I am yet to support a winning team.
But I love it. They seem to love it too.
The rugby match I watched yesterday was a 47-0 mullering against team which were at least 10-20kg a man heavier and included at least one England player. My son’s team are what they like to think of themselves as, a development team, they are a team a year ahead of themselves.
They play to win, but whilst losing they continue to move forward with their heads up, knowing that they can only get better. It is inspiring to watch. Post match there are no recriminations there are no petulant histrionics. There is a genuine passion to learn, to analyse and to get better. They will have the luxury of playing together for two years, it is part of an education.
They have no satisfaction in defeat, far from it. They are however prepared to recognise it as part of a process.
The same son plays Sunday league for a team which are a triumph of passion over ability, not held back by an over exaggerated sense of achievement, the lose a lot. In fact the one time I didn’t see them play over the last three years was the only time they have won.
Each week this close knit team of casual acquaintances come together as a team, they play for each other and they seem dedicated to that cause. It is a joy to be part of.
The team talks by the coach are about achievement not laced with recrimination.
Not all teams are like this. My younger son plays for a Sunday league team, which personify the missive beware of the club that is prepared to accept you as a member. This is a team which has never won.
Last week they were beaten 6-1 by 10 men, this week they lost 6-4 to a team of 9!
But he loves it, and again so do I.
The opponents this week were horrible. Really horrible. The poor kids on the pitch were subjected to an appalling tirade of abuse from the touchline. The disgusting foul language dressed up as tactical advice was screamed by testosterone fuelled tattooed parents and coaches at a team of willing to please 12 year olds who, although well drilled and highly skilled, were well schooled in playing to win at all costs.
Throw a punch – tick. Dive when tackled – tick. Two feet lunges – tick.
All of this accompanied by hysterical screeches of encouragement and approval.
In contrast my son’s team seem to be supported by a safety net of encouragement and approval which vindicates their perseverance and fortitude.
Their four goals this week were each met with championship winning glee by team mates, parents and coaches a like. Winning matters. Don't get me wrong, it matters a lot. They are not intentionally playing to make up the numbers, they are playing to win. It is just that when they don't win, they don't go and kick something or somebody. Now again this can be easily characterised as the language of failure, as justification for defeat.
I don't think it is.
My own relationship with competitive sport is very different, it is only through exposure to my children’s sporting education have I learnt about my own. I have never had a sports lesson, I don't remember ever being coached or tutored. Games at school consisted of being divided into two teams, the winners and the bait, being given a ball, and being told to get on with it. Which for me meant being subjected to a humiliating loss.
When making up the numbers once in a inter house cricket match I was told by the amused teacher to imagine I was playing the part of a cricketer. That was perhaps the only time he offered me any form of tuition in my seven years at the school.
My school friends are astonished to learn that in my so called career I have been close to some of the greatest achievements in professional sport. The fact that sport has played any part of my adult life is the cause of much amusement to them. I have walked out with the teams at an FA cup final, stood on the grid of the British Grand Prix and been in the locker rooms with the champions at the NBA finals.
I was always number 12 in a list of someone's first 11. I wasn't very good. My hand eye co-ordination has never really been fully synchronised, my tackles were always on a five second delay between my brain and my feet. I can't hold a racket or kick a ball in the direction my tactical mind knows it needs to go.
Quite simply I don't have the tools to go to, to be able to move into that top 11, when it comes to picking a team.
“We are unapologetically committed to competitive sport here at this school”, explained the boys head teacher when they joined, “and if you feel that this isn’t your type of thing then you are going to struggle here.”
“Interesting,” I thought, rocking slightly on my fair play foundations.
Then he added, “However, this competition shouldn't be first and foremost at the expense of others. The driving force of the competitive spirit should be self-improvement.”
One of the guiding principles in his approach to sport was the concept of personal best. Winning would equate to beating your PB at athletics, keeping a clean sheet in goal, this educational ethos around self improvement has paid dividends with my sons.
The ragtag world of sport from my childhood is a foreign country to the fast paced, fact based world of statistics and performance data of today’s PlayStation gaming generation.
My sons, when it comes down to pure statistical analysis, do not play for winning teams.
But they seem not to mind. I have written previously about my relationship with failure in sport centred around supporting the Manchester City of yesteryear, a team which became a byword for underachievement and self destruction, that is best summarised in the phrase, ”more important than winning.”
My experience on the touchline surrounded by braying parents living out their sporting ambitions and frustrations by proxy through their kids has brought a nuance to that phrase.
The sporting education of my sons has been an education to me. It has brought a better understanding of the benefits of playing, win or lose rather than a frustration of the lack of a direct experience myself.
Perhaps I too am living vicariously through their on field antics, perhaps just maybe, they are teaching me a lesson, one I never had.
The Full Crouton
This has been running around in my head for a couple of weeks now. Never fully formed, never quite complete, but always unsettling me.
There’s a John Hegley poem -
A Poem About The Town Of My Upbringing And The Conflict Between My Working Class Origins And The Middle Class Status Conferred Upon Me By A University Education.
“I remember Luton
As I’m swallowing my crouton.”
I have citied this poem many times – I’ve used it as an explanation for own journey, alright an excuse for it. I have levelled this at friends when I discover that they haven’t always supported Chelsea, you can change your nationality but not your football club etc; You cannot however change where you are from. You can attempt to edit your past but it will catch up with you.
A lot of this is recently borne out of the impending general election and the fact that I sometimes feel like the only gay in the village.
It took me some time to find a news agent who stocked The Guardian.
I was recently outraged but not surprised when David Cameron got the name of the football team he supported wrong. It is not as if he actually supports either West Ham or Aston Villa. He is and has been trying to reinvent himself as a man who has stood on the terraces rather than one who burnt £50 notes in front of the homeless as a harmless prank.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullingdon_Club
Look who knows the truth. Not me. He was or wasn’t doing it for a joke etc.
I am surrounded at home by “Vote Conservative” placards, planted into the gardens of the greater Colchester area to advertise that morals are as much “For Sale” as houses. I have not and will not ever vote Tory.
My social media feeds are full of how evil the Conservatives are – I have de-friended and reported anyone who was posting racist diatribes and right wing rhetoric usually accompanied by a Union Flag or St George’ Cross. The majority of my friends from school are old school Labour. I like to believe a family myth that a distant uncle fought in the Spanish Civil War - for the Republicans of course.
The overwhelming majority of my new friends, parents of my kids’ friends are a little to the right of this.
“We’re all social liberals now!” I chanced at the heart of the last election as all of the parties lunged for the centre ground in an attempt to appear more reasonable than the others.
“I’m not!” replied one of my new friends. “I’m not a liberal in any sense of the word!” He then unleashed a libertarian tirade against the middle ground.
I’ve heard people described as “Socialists”, in hushed tones, the sort of description that used to be reserved for “He’s black, don’t you know?” or Some of my best friends are gay.” The inference being, he’s not like us. He’s not PLU.
I thought a socialist was someone good, who stood up for other people. Someone who put common interest before self interest.
I have to admit a few things here, to get my defence in first. I am conflicted. I feel as though I have compromised a lot of my values. I have private medical insurance, I have paid for the education of my children, how can I vote for the left?
Again a lot of this question needs to be read out loud in the same tone as the inquiry as to whether I have ever drunk Champagne. (I have, but I only like the really dry stuff – I prefer the Goût anglais )
So who to vote for?
I live in a safe Liberal Democrat seat – Bob Russell MP got a 48% share with a 15% majority in the last election. Colchester is the only local council in Essex without a UKIP councilor. But still those blue placards seem to dominate the streets. Vote Will Quince seems to have some support.
So do I vote tactically?
Shall I lend my support to Bob, to help him keep Will Quince at bay? Labour could realistically be pushed into forth place by UKIP.
I have difficulty enough looking in the mirror, without having to stare a man in eyes who has abandoned where he is from, gave up on what he really thinks and sold his principles good and proper. I don’t vote and have never voted out of pure self-interest. I will not vote Tory, I will not vote Liberal.
I cannot swallow the full crouton.
Four by Four
My son's maths homework asked him to create different twenty sums each one adding up to each of the numbers between 1 and 20, each sum had to include only and exactly four number 4s.
EG (4/4) x (4/4) = 1 and so on
Took me 30 minutes!
https://www.dropbox.com/s/z7scjzlhs4omjo7/4.pptx?dl=0
Tampopo Lives
I should never have doubted myself.
But I went back, I had to. I really didn't quite believe what happened the first time. But upon my return my gut told me once again what the little voice in my head had been telling me over and over.
That meal is quite simply the finest thing I have ever eaten. I could come back here every day and eat the same thing again and again for the rest of my life.
There, I have said it.
I am writing this whilst still sat here at the table. I need to commit my thoughts to text with my taste buds still pinging from my hastily eaten lunch.
I tried to eat slowly, to savour each mouthful, I tried to inhale the aromas of meal wholeheartedly wafting them and breathing in deeply, but it was all in vein. Eat. Eat now. Before someone takes it away.
It is the same with all of my fellow diners. It is as though we have all been duped by some strange vendor of Lotus and we eagerly take our fill in a quest to quench an ever lasting desire to quaff this nectar of the gods.
I'm in a Ramen bar near my office. Kanada-Ya.
It has just opened but already the queues outside the door are a sign of a pending collective addiction. There are less than 30 tables in this small eponymous restaurant. All of them full.
They only serve two things. Ramen, bowls of soft unctuous noodles with slices of pork belly bathed in pork bone broth with nothing else other than a garnish of spring onion, wood ear fungus and a sheet of crisp nori.
Onigiri rice balls stuffed with pickled plum or salmon wrapped in nori.
Two things done well. Or rather two things done with an obsessive attention to detail that means done well is an understatement of criminal proportions. It is difficult to find the superlatives to express how brilliantly the sum of the parts come together in the bowl.
The star is the broth. Cloudy, creamy, salty, meaty, smooth and silky. There is much made, unpretentiously of the broth making process. Every second of the 18 hours of preparation is effortlessly apparent in the intense unami of this soup. The noodles are cooked to order, angel hair fine, mine were soft, bathed in porky brothy goodness. The pork is delicate in texture, intense in flavour, the onions, nori and fungus all there for texture. But none of the opportunity to add flavour is wasted.
30 years ago I watched the movie Tampopo in awe as the art of noodle broth was told as a way of life. 30 years ago Japanese food was exotic and rare. Now it is instantly ubiquitous and more about the conveyor belt than the food. Myths of sushi chefs training for 20 years before they pick up a knife are dispelled in favour of deskilled multi-skilled kitchen staff, prepping preprepared rice and fish.
But wow - Tampopo is alive and lives true in Kanada-Ya.
Watch the movie.
Eat the noodles.
Trust your gut.
Got Got Need
Here's a list of the Panini Stickers we need
https://www.dropbox.com/s/wob3e9ug5gxn2r7/Panini%202014%20Stickers.xlsx
Nice to see you too, yes I'd love one.
There’s a comedy sketch about the man who used to read the football results on a Saturday and how he’s hooked on a particular style of intonation.
He’s greeted by a friend at a party who is pleased to see him and offers him a drink.
Like all jokes it’s funnier if you just listen to it rather than have me explain it.
His response is of course -
Nice to see you 2 Yes I’d love 1
These used to be the important numbers in football, those and the attendance figures, which are read out at the ground to stop the clubs fiddling the gate, it used to be a cash only business.
It is now a numbers game.
I’ve not yet seen Moneyball, the film about baseball and statistics. Sounds like one hell of a pitch!
"We are going to remake the classic no hopers to heroes sports movie but this time the hero is maths!" As I say, I haven’t seen it, so I mustn’t judge.
It must be good though, to be successful despite being handicapped by the maths thing, it must be, must be one heck of a movie!
The way the maths or math works is that a guy takes over a little league baseball team and he runs the numbers. He looks at the stats of each player and builds a team, a winning team, based purely on the statistics that each players’ career is defined by. The Money in the title is a nod to the gaming statistics “odds” which fall out of those statistics.
Despite the phrase, statistics don’t lie. They are hard cold facts. 2 is always greater than 3. A zero is always a zero.
Anyway in the movie - the team wins. The numbers work.
American sport is number rich. It’s awash with performance percentages and measurements of the minutiae. Fantasy Leagues are powered by these numbers, where raw naked numerical value is put to work and translates directly into success or failure.
No why does any of this matter? There have been numerous attempts at codifying the English Games over the years, there are competing methods of codification vying for control of football and cricket. These reductionist approaches display the unfolding narrative of any given sporting fixtures as though they are the tumbling data of The Matrix. A true aficionado of the faith can look at the numbers and read the game.
My sons are obsessed by football. In this brief window of January transfer activity they are glued to the web to imbibe every detail, every rumour, every nuance or nod towards any whisper of a potential switch of footballing allegiances. They have also started talking in a language I am struggling to understand.
They are not gambling. They are playing EA SPORTS FIFA14. They are trading players to build their ultimate team. If you’re not a parent or don’t play FIFA, this is not like swapping football stickers or if you’re older cigarette cards! This is a statistically led and numerically motivated highly organised and incredibly sophisticated trading environment. The price if each player in the virtual world is dictated by their performance in the real world. It’s Moneyball with real-time trading for teenagers. My sons are now network trading literate. They spend hours trawling the numbers and looking for a schmuck who hasn’t read the runes as well as they have and is underselling some thoroughbred with stellar stats for the price of a donkey.
What’s more they now talk of CAMs and CDMs as though this is the Lingua Franca of football, and despite my Luddite protestations they are probably right. Central Attacking Midfielders and Central Defensive Midfielders or Midfielders as we used to call them are now very real terms. Most real footballers are now no longer spending their post training afternoons on the golf course or building furniture in the back room, they are playing FIFA on their 60” plasmas, checking out their own stats and building their own virtual ultimate teams.
They know every metre they run on the pitch, every assist they make, every tackle they complete, every goal they score will effect their price, not just in the game but also in life.
The numbers are not a matter of life and death they are now more important than that.
24 Hours in Antigua A+E
He is fine now. You don’t need the jeopardy. He’s well and back to work.
He wasn’t well on the flight over and looked a little grey. When I questioned his decision to pick any the empty rows available on the plane for sleeping on, he told me the decision to select the one next to the toilets was strategic.
This was a portentous explanation.
Chris wasn’t well. He took to his bed when we arrived and the director and I went to eat. After we’d breakfasted in the morning that was three meals he had missed.
It was time for him to see a paramedic, then an urgent medical centre, then a hospital.
There is something not quite fair about being ill in the beautiful tropical surroundings of Antigua. No matter how much you try to convince yourself and more importantly everybody else that despite the shorts and sunglasses we are here to work.
We kept checking on Chris via text ignoring the warnings about using mobile phones on the hospital walls. He either has a bacterial stomach bug or more worryingly appendicitis.
It was time for the director and I to get to the hospital with spare clothes and home comforts in case he is admitted. Here is where the adventure begins. Chris is on a drip and we are waiting for a blood test. He’s been there an hour by the time we arrive with obligatory grapes to cheer him up.
Antigua A+E is the TV series I don’t want to make and don’t ever want to watch! It was a place close to hell.
It’s Saturday night and we’re trapped in a Kafkaesque world where Chris doesn’t have access to water, hasn’t eaten and is on a drip because he’s dehydrated. Chris was surrounded by a collection of very ill people in obvious pain, and those with self inflicted conditions brought about by rum.
Roger comes to visit us. He’s an ex-pat with a bandage bound around his bleeding skull. He keeps falling over and nobody can explain why. He offers Chris a glug of Rum from his plastic bottle and regales stories of how he can fight anyone in any bar, and take us to Rum Shacks where tourists don’t go.
We think we now know why he keeps falling over.
The cleaner seems to visit us more than the nurse, she is mopping up inexplicable blood drops from the floor. I suppose this is a good sign in one way but bad in so many other ways.
The blood tests arrive back and they are all negative for appendicitis – this is good. A prescription of anti-biotics and we are out of here. Chris has been here 6 hours.
There’s no point the director hanging around he leaves with Pidgin our over friendly driver. He is great but he has a habit of driving whilst doing at least two other things, waving to passers by and using his phone whilst keeping both hands off the wheel at all times. We later learn he’s a bit of a legend, his pleadings on the phone to various women were in a multitude of different accents and personalities.
So it’s just me and Chris at the hospital. A doctor finally comes to see Chris. It’s not brilliant. She will not let him leave because he’s dehydrated and is insisting on him having two saline drips. The first goes into his arm in less an hour. He is thirsty!
I search the hospital for water and come back with filled cups to replenish an empty bottle.
The second drip isn’t going in.
It’s marked into 10 parts, the first 10% takes an hour to drip.
It isn’t looking good.
I go and protest to the desk they ignore me. Now begins the battle to leave, we can self-check out at anytime, but need that prescription which they will only issue if they discharge us.
We are now trapped, Chris is tied to a hospital bed by a saline drip, surrounded by guys with manacles on, guys screaming in pain and guys wanting to use our phones. There is no water, no food and no way out.
It is now 3am – somehow we’ve been here for 10 hours, and a nurse arrives to attach a third drip.
We say no.
We have to get out. I go and complain to the hospital desk to a bunch of doctors and nurses who will not look up in case they are forced to engage with my complaint.
This is not good for Chris’ health, he is dehydrated and being denied water, it makes no sense!
Finally at 430am we are discharged with the prescriptions and with a hefty bill of 1000s of US$, just one more saline drip?
We get in a cab he can take us home for $30, a bargain!
Our driver seems jumpy. He’s playing the most relaxing choral music in the car, which brings a aura of calm to our world.
I comment on the music.
He is most comforted by that.
He has spent the evening avoiding Satan and his demons who have been tracking him down intent on killing him. He had only been hiding out at the hospital because he was convinced he was going to die that night.
So began our journey home, which strangely welcomed.
I'm Alright Now
I can't remember which way round it is.
Are you supposed to write whilst angry, or you are not supposed to write whilst angry?
Are you supposed to spit the bile swashing around your gut onto the page and use the anger as an energy to carve the words in blood, or it is best to wait? Wait until the troubled waters of adrenalin have flattened a little.
I am calmer now than I was five minutes ago. I haven't sworn yet.
Exhale.
I'm not even using exclamation marks at the end of every sentence.
Nope, not even in that last one, which deserves one.
I am sat on a train, a train to Paris. The ticket on these trains comes with a seat reservation. There is very little ambiguity. This is your seat.
My seat is Carriage 17 seat 46.
I'm not sat in it.
It's a seat with a table, four seat sat around a table.
There's a small boy aged 9 or 10 in my seat. He's sat with his family.
He is not the reason I went into fight or flight mode about 30 minutes ago.
He made me smile.
I am not and do not want to be the person who taps the computer print out which shows quite clearly that I am rightful occupant of Seat 46 in Carriage 17.
Alright I might be that person, but not at the expense of making a child sit on his own.
There are plenty of free seats in the carriage.
Can you tell why I got angry?
I wait as the other passenger find their allotted seat numbers and shovel their wheelie bags into the baggage rack.
There are seats still left.
There's a couple sat at a table and they are accompanied by two free seats.
I motion to them that I'm intending to join them in the free seats.
They ignore me, so I offer to help move their bags. I offer first in English and then in French.
"Why would we want help moving our bags?" Is the eventual response from the wife.
"So I can sit down." Is my smiling reply.
"These are our seats, do you not have one?"
I explain that there's a small boy sat in mine and that if there's nobody joining them I'd prefer not to stand.
"We have paid for these seats."
I ask whether she would prefer to move the small child and get him to stand.
She doesn't appear to understand. She reiterates that these are her seats and that they have paid for them.
I am now angry.
"So just to be clear," I broadcast to the carriage, "you would rather I or a small child stand for 2 hours, than let someone sit next to you in a seat that is currently occupied by your bag."
She has no concept of the question, they are her seats she has paid for them. My prejudices run free, I spit sarcasm at her and her flaccid husband.
They continue with their Daily Mail, hopefully wallowing in their anger as dragon rests in fire.
I go to the next carriage and find an empty seat, and think about whether I should try and write this down in order to calm down.
And relax!
More Important Than Winning
My dad was a City fan. I'm from Manchester, I was born there, I grew up there, I went to Manchester to buy singles on a Saturday. I went to reserve games with my Uncle Barrie. Barrie is my godfather, his eldest daughter went out with a City player, Steve Sherlock. We went in through the players entrance of Maine Road, a sky blue security gate. We had cheese and onion sandwiches in the players lounge. I was staying at my Uncle Barrie and Auntie Maureen's the night my Dad died. I was four.
I had a City penant on the wall of my room. I had a silk scarf with FA Cup, Cup Winners Cup, League honours on them. I always imagined they were my dad's. It was how I connected with him. You don't choose your football club, like you don't choose your family.
I am a City fan.
Bell, Summerbee, Lee these were my dad's team. Fast forward 10 years I went to first team matches with a friend Darren Daley and his family. These were the Peter Swales years. This time I was a season ticket holder. We'd travel to Maine Road in the Daley's car, a big Merc with soft bouncy suspension. We'd park the car in the same side street, and sometimes Darren's dad would pay the 50p to look after his car. This time we'd queue to spend £1 in the club shop a ramshackle portacabin, which Swales had sold. Tueart, Corrigan, Peter Barnes this was my team.
You don't change your football club, you don't support a second club. I went to school in Chadderton, which is a suburb of Oldham, a suburb of Manchester. Boundary Park, home to 'Latics was a stones' throw from my school. It was easy to walk there and see a midweek game. Despite this I have no emotional connection with Oldham Athletic, no desire, no angst, no passion, no love.
I have dipped in and out of love with football, it's always been there like riding a bike. Part of me. It has on occasions defined me. I've met men in business whose first question is what team do you support, whose wives will remember only one thing about you, like a mental mnemonic to face and name. John - City fan.
I find it difficult to remember teams and positions, it would never by a Mastermind subject for me.
It was one of the first questions I was asked at work. It defined my tribe.
I don't remember the 1976 League Cup Final. I was 9. I did own a match day programme though. Going to Wembley seemed like another life. I do remember the '81 FA Cup Final, I remember class mates taking the day off on the Wednesday to go to the replay.
I listened to Paul Morley this Sunday just before the QPR games, describe his relationship with City as he tried to explain the melancholy of City's adopted anthem "Blue Moon." The loss to Tottenham in the FA Cup was the start of the melancholy for me.
I don't remember ever seeing City win. It's not part of the experience. It's a form of duty. I've seen City get bashed too many times.
I've always tried to justify it as follows, if you want to win trophies support someone else, football's not about winning.
Football is not about winning its more important that that.
I suppose I'm in a state of shock. I cried yesterday at work. I watched highlights of the game against QPR at my desk. This is madness, but a classic symptom of shock.
Every time I watch it, which is already in the hundreds I can't quite believe the result. I still expect us to loose. The whole world expects us to lose. City did it to me again on Sunday. I hid my face in the chair, I pushed it into the space between the cushions hoping it would swallow me whole, I felt physically sick and drained and shouted expletives to myself. My son who is nine sat next to me telling me it would be OK. I'm forty five dressed in a 60's replica shirt with the old city of Manchester crest, my son's got his full Ethiad strip on.
How could I tell him it wasn't going to be OK? It was going to be awful.
Bang Dzeko.
2-2 with two minutes left.
I've always said its the hope that kills you.
Ballotelli, Agueroooooooooooooooo 3-2.
Not United. Not United. Not United.
With their match over, they are not Champions.
I refused to read "Manchester United ruined my life" I refuse to be defined by them. Colin Schindler is a fine writer. My friend Jez made the documentary on the book another City fan he subscribes to the same credo. It is never about them.
We are "bitter blues".
I recently got into a maelstrom at work over attempts to rebrand my company with a new red logo. My company logo is blue. I will never work for a company whose logo is red, I will ever drive a red car.
We are noisy neighbours.
Ballotelli, Aguerro that is my son's team.
I bought Blue Moon on Sunday morning after listening to Paul Morley. I bought it three times.
Media 360 Salford 2011
Bringing Fame to Advertisers
http://community.brandrepublic.com/blogs/thinkbox/archive/2011/06/14/rose-tinted-testicles.aspx
This started as a random collection of ideas but since I genuinely don’t know what I think until I say it – it turned into a bit of a manifesto
One I didn’t know I believed in!
I’m going to talk about what Event TV is
I’m going to talk about how programming has changed
I’m going to talk a bit about business models
I’m going to talk about how we can work together differently
I’m going to try and do this exclusively through the medium of David Bowie
Not just the man who sold the world but also the man who securitised all of his rights into a neat financial package, thus creating a market for forward selling which led to the downfall of the entire banking system of the western world!
The Laughing Gnome is there because somebody bet me I couldn’t get it in
My name is John Nolan - I work for North One - part of the All3Media Production Group
North One makes things like the Gadget Show, Fifth Gear and World Rally
All3 makes things like – Midsommer Murders, Shameless, Skins, HollyOaks, The Only Way Is Essex, PeepShow, The Cube, Look Good Naked, Kitchen Nightmares
Its my job - I used to proudly boast - to investigate future models of television production. My job is all about the implementation of those models now
This started with events Sport and Music – Formula One Rugby World Cup - Ive helped but The Prodigy in Red Square and Coldplay in a pub –Ive even thrown sixteen people out of an airplane for Honda to help create an event
But Im now trying to take those learning of events – things that mean something in peoples lives and feeding them back into our wider programming
Brand extensions – websites – phone apps – product licensing – on pack promotion – the book, the DVD – the product placement – integrated sponsorship, title sequence with an in store promotion
If any of that sounds familiar it might mean something different to me than it does to you if you're a Marketing Director or Brand Manager or an Account Exec or a Senior Planner
Programme Producers and Advertisers, Agencies, Brands, Media Planners, Broadcasters
We all look the same and in fact at dinner parties often get lumped as you lot in the media
However we are very different beasts – we speak different languages
It may sound the same to the untrained ear –but it’s different
It’s a Venus and Mars thing - Producers are from Venus , Advertisers are from Mars
Television production has got to change
Television production has long been considered a lifestyle business –
I was at a conference where a well know executive asked a panellist what challenges were there for him to move from B2B to B2C
The answer he got back – try and behave like a B first!
Production has never had to behave like a B – not really
We got paid too much money to make programmes that you had to watch
There was nothing else for viewers to do
We were in a very privileged position – not that we were on our own
Advertisers were onto a sure bet – broadcasters could rely on a sizable audience. Let’s face it, there was too much money in the system and there was enough to go round
What’s changed is that there’s too much choice
Too many other things to do
So we all have to work a little harder
I genuinely believe that the proliferation of choice and the introduction of digital technology, both in production and distribution, has made the world a better place – alright its made our telly better
What were struggling with is that All TV used to be an event – it all had an appointment to view.
And because now theres so much of it - Its our budgets that are under pressure
We all have to work a little harder
There is even more money in the system – its all gotten a bit bigger but it is spread much thinner
But let’s be honest when the risk is greater the reward is better
The production company business model is one of collusion with the broadcaster
It’s fantastically subjective and not entirely scientific
Broadcasters decide what programmes they want and the producer makes them
Producers pitch ideas and broadcasters decide whether they like them
The broadcaster calls the shots – they take the risk they earn the rewards
Remember what I was talking about risk and reward – I’ll keep coming back to it
As I said its not entirely scientific – commissioning editors sit above the creative process and tweak the programmes in their own image – or into that of the broadcaster
Now there’s the rub –
We used to say
If you’re making a programme about dogs
BBC1 will have Dog of the Year
BBC2 will have Grumpy Old Dogs
ITV will have Dogs Do The Funniest Things
Channel 5 will do When Dogs Attack Their Owners
And Channel 4 will make Dogs are Delicious (with Rice ) probably with Hugh!
The thing is as choice has increased there are now another 50 variants on the dog and pony show
Dave will show the Beeb’s show in a retrospective When Dogs Ruled the Beeb
Discovery will do Dogs with Sharks
You Tube will have the Dog on a Skateboard
And the facebook group for Dog Lovers will have more members than watched any of the programmes
As broadcasters fight for ever decreasing audiences they are morphing into each other – there is very little to distinguish between the prime time schedules of most broadcasters –
A talent show
A reality show
A soap
A soap/reality hybrid
A consumer affairs show morphed into an entertainment format
A life change life swap social experiment
Some expensive American Drama
Some gritty British detective series
Some comedians on stage
Some late night chat
News and weather
Is it any wonder that amongst this clutter wwe are now struggling to find cut through
Something has got to change
The funding model isn’t working as well as it used to
Having a good show is no guarantee that anyone will watch it
And there are simply too many other things to do let alone watch
Under the current relationship – the broadcaster takes control
They fund the show – they decide when its scheduled
They also take creative charge of the promotion of the programme
But to be fair they do take the risk and whilst behaving like a B they reap the reward
These 3 things - the budget ,the schedule and the promotional activity - all help define whether the show is going to be an event or not
Whether its any good or not is another matter –
It doesn’t have to work like this though
There have been some artificial boundaries between broadcaster, producer and advertiser and their agencies – remember that golden age with too much money flowing about
It is these boundaries which are breaking down
There is a culture of growing collaboration between different companies. I’m not here to talk about adfunding or product placement
More about the creative process and what we can learn from each other
Independent television tends to out source its creativity to the independent producers and this is where the talent has gone. The big hits tend to come form the indie
They have a vested interest in the success of their shows
But so does the broadcaster and surely the advertiser might be interested in success too
How we can collaborate and win more often and win more easily?
I think there are three distinct areas
The first is research
The second is process management
And the third is marketing – or fame creation if you like
These are my main learnings from trying to behave like a business and listening to the shouting in the corridors of the commercial departments of broadcasters and drinking lattes in chrome escalators in agencies
What gets measured gets made –might be a mantra in media, but in production the most popular measurement is the overnight rating as some kind of bragging rite
God forbid we do any research into audience insight
I doubt less research is done in any other manufacturing industry
Process management is also a good tool for winning easier
One of my biggest shocks was the attention to detail in agency land – and the constant meetings and microscopic detail of development. Production is a just in time subjective dictatorship – where visionary programme makers collude with maniacal commissioner to see their vision to fruition
The third is promo time! Or PR or even the fabled outdoor
The producer generally has no say or involvement in the promotion onscreen or elsewhere of their series
But why should the producer have a say in any of this – they’re not paying for it.
Let’s look briefly at the potential rewards
This then gets complex
There’s a rights map – which shows who owns what and where they can exploit it
Simultaneous broadcast via IP +1 +2
Clip rights
Programme support website
Product placement
Secondary UK
DVD
International
“Carve it out!” – cry the business affairs departments
Hang on though – aren't we supposed to be in this together
And doesn’t this start to sound like a marketing plan rather than a disposable watch one and never seen again television programme
We have a chance to build our own model here in the UK
They do things very differently overseas
I have a theory about things that are too difficult
If they are genuinely too difficult then nobody would do them.
I like a phrase used by Nigel Whalley of Decipher - I don’t know who he stole it from but we call it just media
It’s not new media – its not old its just media
We don’t have specialist digital teams at North One we just have people who make stuff – we have tried and keep trying to get rid of the silos which make things different and therefore difficult
The best person to make the digital bits is part of the team that makes the broadcast bits. The person in charge of the editorial might just be best placed to have a say in the brand positioning
Hang on – if that’s the case might they also be best placed to have a say in how the programme brand is communicated
Here’s a new model
I think that producers are genuinely prepared to go at risk in ideas they believe in
I think that they are also professionalising the process by which they operate and if needs be they will listen to audience feedback and use it to construct even bigger better shows
I am generalising a bit here – not all producers are the same and not all broadcasters are either –
There is one broadcaster who does have the relative freedom from the constnts and pressures of funding – at least until the next licence fee is under review
What would the BBC do?
(I think TVC 15 is a studio on Wood Lane)
It is both producer and broadcaster
It behaves as though it was a big brand
It is answerable and accountable and therefore has to act with due process.
It is market research driven
It has a commercial arm which can extend the brand
It can take risks
In a strange way it has the ability to behave like a big business – albeit one freed from the profit impritiative
It’s a success
It’s also very good at telling us what to watch – across the BBC
On TV, on radio, online, red button, iplayer, local and national
It’s a media planners dream – all of the day’s touchpoints in one.
But if they can do it, and they do it brilliantly, then the independent sector can to – we just need to establish some rules of engagement you might say “some hazy cosmic jive”
For everything to be alright – just fine and dandy
We need to work together – we are after all counter dependent,
Advertisers – their agencies of many different colours – the broadcasters and the producers are all in the same boat
We are all dabbling with digital media – becoming are own B2C entities in comms
We are learning our way around social media and establishing new rules of engagement
But TV is still a mass market driver – and whilst I truly believe that there are better programmes on air today than there have ever been
And that it is too easy to look at the past through rose tinted spectacles - Tele is better today than it has ever been
But it can get even better –
Research and insight can make it more relevant – more engaging – the diversity of opportunity is a plus when it’s used to segment and target an audience and follow their passions
Process management can be a force for good in the creative word – it can help carry some of the burden
Finally I think that how we market our products is something we desperately need to work better at
You may look into the world of programme production with fear – as I use the word risk again
But I’m not advocating risk I'm looking at how we can work together to mitigate it
Prudent business models with a planned process and a well researched development team producing targeted well marketed programmes
This is what event TV really means – its TV that matters that has relevance – theres a growing realisation that its not enough to hope that the cream will rise to the top any more or that your brilliance will be discovered by a mass audience.
The growth of the programme super brands made and distributed by the super indies has upset the balance of power between broadcaster and producer.
I don’t sense we’re going to war on this I hope were starting to collaborate.
If we find a new way of working
Only 12 men have ever been to the moon.
They are all old men now, soon there will be none left.
The Internet is a Dangerous Place
The internet is a dangerous place. My advice is, if you have anything to hide, never take a ride on the digital superhighway. The internet knows your name, it knows where you live and importantly it knows what you spend your money on. What did you expect?
The internet is not a free ride, all that great free content comes at a price, and the currency is information.
I’ll say it again, the internet is dangerous place. Don’t ever go on it.
At a time when television is looking deep into its soul and its very integrity is under scrutiny the internet is not a place for those who run free with the regulations to hide.
Television has been caught telling lies and there’s a bit of bridge building to be done in the credibility stakes. Hang on though isn’t it the internet that’s full of identity thieves, phishers and credit card scam artists? Let’s get this in perspective. Television is going through a number of crises of confidence, which boil down not just to a breakdown in trust but to a breakdown in the funding models which underpin it. And you might say that technology or for that matter digital media is the cause of all of or most of those woes.
Namely “fragmentation of the audience” – everybody is on the internet or mobile phone or XBOX, and “ad avoidance” – everybody is on the internet or etc.
Some of the suspicion about television brought about by the recent “phone scandals” have not been bad people doing bad things, it’s too simple an accusation, that plays to a too readily to jury too eager to convict. The rush to phone revenue and the subsequent dependence upon it, is linked to the structural problems with traditional advertising revenue brought about by the fact that everyone is on the internet!
There is a case for suggesting that the convergence of television with the computer brought about by IPTV whether that’s application (Joost) or browser (html) based or in the case of the Vista MediaCentre platform might help restore some of the trust.
If part of the inherent danger of the internet is its intrusive nature, part of its allure is the blatant transparency that it provides.
The Microsoft Channel 9 forum which is based on the United Airlines inflight audio service “Channel 9” which allows passengers to listen in to the flightdeck, is a great example of the transparency that the internet allows.
It’s a forum where Microsoft employees and developers discuss stuff with Microsoft users! (You know all this.)
But the logic behind such a bold and open move of naked collaboration flies in the face of corporate confidentiality and it goes like this “there’s no point trying to hide what we’re doing because everyone can see” – which probably leads to “look if you’re going to do bad things on the internet you’re going to get found out, so why not do good things instead.”
It is the intrusive nature of the internet that provides the transparency that TV needs to help demonstrate it actually has nothing to hide, it is this Channel 9 principle that admits there is no point in hiding.
The big question is whether TV and by this I mean the broadcaster and production community is going to take opportunity of the internet seriously. We are at a bit of crossroads. TV needs to embrace the potential of personalised digital distribution which allows for the deeper more meaningful engagement we hear about. But first it has to get its head around the content and not just use digital distribution as a substitute for linear TV.
There’s a real opportunity here.
But as I might have mentioned the one thing the internet does well is know who’s watching, how long they watched for, what they were watching before and where and when they went to after.
There’s some real value in that level of transparency.
Digital Rights and Wrongs
Back in the analogue age, television was easy to understand. You made the programme, people watched the programme, and if the programme ever saw the light of day again, everybody complained about the blessed repeats! The long tail has certainly changed all that; we now need Primary Rights, then Secondary Rights, if you’re lucky Format Rights, if you’re clever Mobile Rights and Digital Rights, and don’t forget good old International Rights.
The ever changing digital age has thrown up a great deal of confusion - or should that read negotiation. One thing for sure, as things move forward with speed, we need to glance back at how we’re working and adapt the process because new business needs new models.
The music industry has had to be ahead of the TV game. As music distribution has moved from in-store to online, the major record companies have implemented - with some success - digital rights management (DRM) in an attempt to deal with the evil of piracy. But it has found the existing models of rights payment collection wanting, especially when a project crosses borders.
While the TV industry is now coming to terms with the fact that you can go online and watch Martini Media (anytime, anyplace anywhere), it’s also starting to work with DRM systems to prevent file sharing piracy. The various business models might even have been conquered as to how these things actually get paid for, with a mixture of pay-per-play, subscription and even advertiser-supported.
What hasn’t really been worked out is who owns what, and what happens when the pictures cross international borders.
Anyone who has tried to do an international co-production or attempted global distribution on a programme which contains third party rights knows the issues. The problem - sorry opportunity - with the internet is the cross-border freedoms it allows.
The problem – sorry challenge - then is to try and protect a rights model which is dependent upon limited nation specific rights or find one which works cross-border. This is certainly the case in music where different publishers and distributors stake claims on the same piece of music in different territories.
Programming made from third party sources – music, film clips, TV archive - is traditionally produced on a need to use basis and the same could be said of contributors’ clearances or artists’ rights. If you’re making a programme for two UK showings then that is what you’re paid to do and the programme is made and rights cleared on those terms – no online – no mobile – no international. How very analogue! And even when there are no third party licenses and it’s just actors, presenters and writers with residual payment agreements, an analogue option seems the simplest.
Can you hear the call for “a buy-out” coming in the conclusion?
Buy-outs are a touchy subject; they have the whiff of denying somebody of something they deserve. It’s not the concept of the buyout that’s the issue of course it’s the level of money offered. And here’s the conclusion – if we’re going to able to produce programming which can be distributed digitally we need to have Martini clearances, and if we’re going to able to get them we need to be paying fair prices for them. All we have to do then is find out who we give the money to!
The Broadcast Casino
All bets are on
A television broadcaster is a casino, and it plays by house rules. Rule number one – the house wins.
Here’s how it works. A brand wants to advertise, it needs to hit a key demographic, but it also needs those eyeballs by the bucket load. A broadcaster needs that brand’s money. The broadcaster gambles on developing content which will attract enough of the right eyeballs so that it can unlock the brand’s money. The gamble is that the cost of the programming across the entire schedule will be more than matched by spend of the brands through advertising and sponsorship.
Historically in the commercial sector the house has always won. There has always been enough cash left after it has paid for the content for the broadcaster to pay shareholders, dividends and bonuses.
From a broadcaster’s cost point of view, they have always kept content producers and owners at the end of a long chain. The true value or income generation capacity of key content has never really been passed on to the owners or producers. The broadcaster, the distributor of that content has been the true beneficiary of the value.
Another way of looking at it is that the brands have overpaid. The key benefits of advertising and sponsorship are not up for debate, not here anyway. The ability to deliver and then report on the ability to deliver has been the bedrock of the media planning and purchasing industry. However as the distribution market has become more complex with the addition of new distribution channels, everybody’s margins are being squeezed. Brands are questioning the value for money of purchased media. Especially when the data, which they have been used to being consistently positive and transparent for the past 40 years, suddenly starts heading in a murky and negative direction. So-called proliferation of choice has had a direct effect on the earning ability of broadcasters from advertising and sponsorship revenues. It has also hit the media planning and distribution agencies, which as a cost plus industry have found that they are chasing ever-tightening margins. For the Brand Centric Creative agencies any real or threatened downward spiral in the effectiveness of their creative pitch also puts under threat their ability to charge their clients.
Meanwhile some distribution channels have freed themselves from reliance upon advertising and sponsorship income. To subscription services, such as digital television (SKY Television DST) ad income is jam.
Bottom line –
There’s a fall in audience figures and resulting drop in income across the board for broadcasters from advertising and sponsorship. This fall is a direct result of the decline in effectiveness of purchased media to deliver audiences.
What does this mean for Broadcasters?
They have to free themselves from expenditure based on the income from advertising and sponsorship revenue.
What does this mean for Creative Agencies?
They have to rethink their brand communications to get away from brand associations and reliance upon purchased distribution and into content.
What does this mean for Media planners and purchasers?
They have to create the means of distribution within content to support purchased media plans.
What does this mean for Content producers and owners?
They have to look at forms of income other than broadcasters producing at risk.
Now there is no need to push any panic button, what has just been described is a trend, it is not the end of a system which has meant that everybody has got paid, all along the line from the Creative Agency Planner down to the Broadcaster’s sales force. But it is a significant trend.
Those who have predicted that the two-headed monster of proliferation of choice and technological advances in the guise of Personal Scheduling Devices such as Tivo and SKY+, would bring down the established media order have as yet been proved wrong, and long may they continue to err.
Broadcasters are not about to let open the flood gates and give airtime to agencies and producers who work directly with brands and create content to the detriment of
a well established media purchase strategy.
Meanwhile brands are not about to clasp the bosoms of producers and distributors and risk the relationship with their loyal agencies, especially when the new guys carry no proof or rather even promise of future proof, whereas the old guys have been backing up their deeds with facts figures and research since the first meet.
But Advertiser Funded Programming does not belong in the same obsolete file as interactive television, 3G video, or Internet bannering for that matter. Although it has been much heralded and not really arrived it doesn’t for once mean that it isn’t coming.
What has been described is a landscape, or more so perhaps a route map of how the money moves around, from brand to agency to broadcaster, it is this route that is changing. The money is now finding it can short cut some routes and trigger savings. Was it ever thus, and this is a force, which cannot be stopped.
If it is more efficient for brands to generate their own content, and then sponsor it rather than to wait for the right content to come along then they will do it.
If it is more efficient in the right part of the schedule, for the broadcaster to create income opportunities without expenditure then they will allow them.
How the agencies divvy up the money along the way is for them to fight out, and has it ever been thus.
What is different is the emergence of a new force in this landscape, the content producers or owners. Previously a procurement chain has kept them in their place in the supply process of purchased media, they are starting to crawl up the ladder nearer to the brand. Again this is something not looked favourably on by the incumbent agencies. Someone else trying to feed at the table is the last thing they want, when they are fighting to maintain their own portion control!
So what should brands do?
Firstly they are not about to abandon the traditional routes of communicating, and they are to about to sacrifice their hard worked out relationships and income and cost bases. They have systematically worked on their margins squeezing every last ounce of value for money out of their suppliers, it is doubtful they can get a better deal.
What they can do is make their communication work harder. They can start to become media owners, and use this media to communicate with their consumers.
This has been laughingly called “Brandcasting” and refers to Advertiser Funded Programming.
Advertising Funded Programming is an unsuitable moniker, after all with the exception of public service broadcasters (and even then the picture is far from clear) isn’t all programming funded by some kind of advertiser function? And since when has the funding route been a suitable model for describing the activity! If ‘my’ 67%wage, 15%equitity, 10%endowment, 8%inheritance, funded mortgage deserves a snappier title then AFP might also qualify for a better name. And finally it is not advertising which is releasing the funds for the activity. Advertising is advertising and it exists in the regulatory space provided by different media.
“Werbung” and “Nocitas” flash before the viewer’s eyes in and
to remind the viewer that what they are watching has a commercial message rather than an editorially independent one. “Advertisement Feature” is blazoned across print periodicals when the very nature of the content is purchased. If AFP is funded by anybody it is by the sponsorship idents, which surround the content. – Sponsor Funded Programming?
Legislation is there to help consumers distinguish between overtly commercial messages and those meant for unsullied entertainment, education and enlightenment. And brand owners should never be frightened of the distinction. As consumers become more media savvy they can spot a sales pitch, they are not frightened of them either, as in the legislation they trust.
Cleverer harder working communication does not mean duping the consumer, with
hidden implicit brand messages and product placement.
Working harder means creating your own communication platforms upon which existing channels of communication can be based. It means short-circuiting the waiting game for the right content to come along and creating it yourself. It means putting the creative power of agencies and the purchase know how to work behind the battering ram of meaningful content. It means using this content to work as a media platform for new and more direct communication techniques. It means ownership of an activity, which can be used as a tradable commodity for, either in direct media purchase or to generate future revenue.
Further and perhaps most importantly it puts the brand at the heart of the activity.
This isn’t a threat to Broadcasters, it’s an opportunity. They will still get ad revenue they will still get sponsorship revenue they will still get a split of the phone voting, they might even still get a split of the IP, despite changes in the Communication Act, which restricts the leverage broadcasters exercise upon rights holders as a means of taking ownership in projects they broadcast. It could provide broadcasters the means to move beyond the world of the 12, 24, 42 inch screen as Restoration, Pop Idol, Big Brother or The Big Read have demonstrated so well in their own unique ways, engaging audiences across the nation, and this is perhaps really an indication of that opportunity. Brands could provide a powerful new distribution channel off screen for broadcasters. Providing it is undertaken with integrity, co-partnering raises many positive possibilities for better future growth.
Branded content be it a programme created by a brand based upon a brand proposition designed to deliver:
- A key demographic,
- A digital channel, tv or radio distributed via digital satellite or an ADSL link in store
or at home,
- A quiz played via mobile phones in a closed loop within a cinema chain,
- A movie, an album, or a magazine.
is coming.
One could hope that the content owners are now in a position to take a share in the profits hitherto taken exclusively by broadcasters, and thereby be granted access to, that all-powerful broadcast tool - the schedule.
But, increased broadcast specialisation or narrow-casting has created the opportunity to target niche audiences, and has further fragmented the broadcast audience.
For producers who have always been content owners, this creates a dilemma.
One possible future provides them with a greater opportunity to fund production from alternate sources and take a greater stake holding in the format, but at the same time it threatens the strength of the market they are supplying, it bites the hand that previously fed them.
So, in another possible future, broadcasters are not about to open the flood gates and allow their supplier to crawl up the food chain. They will continue to protect access to the schedule. Broadcasters claim to have sufficient funds to finance the programmes they choose to and are do not need to take “free” programming with strings attached which creates income opportunities without expenditure.
So content owners, as has happened in the States, might need to become broadcasters too. This is more than “Brand-casting”: it is a brand becoming a broadcaster. The digital future will make this opportunity available to hundreds more producers/content owners.
It may only be a small percentage of the overall content market, but it’s all going to be small percentage from now on. That’s the point; the odds have got tighter for everyone.
Name the Blue Peter Presenters - Go on!
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I watch a lot of Television, I’ve always watched a lot. There’s a great deal of resonance in the shared experience of Hong Kong Phooey - Not the Nine O’clock News and the Rise and Fall of Reggie Perrin. I can recite most of it all - still. Twenty or even ten years ago, everybody knew the names of the Blue Peter presenters even the grown ups. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Go on, what are the names of the current lot?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">My kids watch a lot of television. But their experiences are more solitary. They have both grown up with the “benefit” of a multi-channel environment. There are only four years between my kids, and already they have different tastes and different opportunities.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">There are more programmes aimed at my two year old than there were only four years ago. They have no shared experience in Bob the Builder, Thomas the Tank Engine and Teletubbies. - In the four year gap the landscape has already changed. Four years ago it was wall to wall Bob and Thomas - programme scheduling has got more complex.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Children’s television is a very competitive market. It is dominated by the BBC which has two very large stations in the digital arena CBBC aimed at 7+ year olds, and CBeeBies<span style=""> </span>aimed at pre schoolers. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">These channels are on Cable, Sky Digital and Freeview (Digital Terrestrial) Platforms. The market is dominated by big players with well branded channel offerings - Viacom with Nickelodeon, Nick Toons, Nick Jr; Turner with Cartoon Network, Boomerang and Toonami; Fox with Jetix; Disney with Disney Channel, Toon Disney and Playhouse Disney, it is a very crowded space. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Discovery have Discovery Kids, plus there’s a kids music station called pop which funnily enough shows kid friendly pop music!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">With the exception of the BBC stations and Discovery Kids all of these channels carry advertising. The BBC cannot carry advertising <span style=""> </span>and Discovery doesn’t because of the way in which Discovery kids business is structured.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Meanwhile the traditional free to air market has changed alongside the developments in the digital space. BBC One is now a mere promotional platform for CBBC and CBeeBies and it effectively “opts out” to these new digital channels. ITV is finding things the most difficult and has sort output deals with the digital big boys. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">ITV of course has the most to loose, as there is no CITV digital platform which ITV1 can act as a driver for. It has also not capitalised on the massive licensing opportunities which others have - notably the BBC with Tinky Winky etal. In reaction CITV has entered into a joint venture with Viacom with its Nickelodeon brand.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Put simply there is no shared experience because of market fragmentation. It’s also the speed of this fragmentation has taken hold.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Like Sport before it, where the digital platform has taken a strangle hold, children’s tele is an example of the supremacy of digital over analogue tele.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">It also acts as an example of how broadcasters have identified a niche and bombarded its audience with choice. This is synchronised with highly lucrative product licensing, brand extensions, interactivity, online experiences and phone revenues.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Children’s tele is a portant for what is to come in the wider broadcast environment. Because it is highly targeted - it is able to move quicker, it also benefits from the fact that the audience knows no different, they are not harking back to the good old days of tele, they are busy enjoying what they’ve got. Kids are also netwise and mobile friendly, they are keen to engage.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">This sends a shiver down my liberal parental spine where my kids can be picked off by marketeers. But hey I’ve got to deal with that as a responsible parent. As I said, my kids watch a lot of television and they can already tell the wheat from the chaff, and there’s plenty to choose from.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">If I take a step back and look at how these businesses as a television producer then I can look into a possible future of how programmes will be financed in other genres. Product licensing, brand extensions, interactivity online and phone revenues are the buzz words of the marketing community, they sit alongside so called AFP as part of the new communication tools set to integrate into a larger strategy of engagement. As someone charged with looking at how to finance television production in a market where there might be dwindling advertising revenues, the broadcast landscape of the children’s market is a template for a possible future. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">What I shouldn’t do is get carried away and start to make rash predictions about a brave new world of more transparent commercial relationships, between marketers and broadcasters. Children’s television is unique and<span style=""> </span>it’s audience is unique. What the Children’s television does demonstrate is that things have changed. The viewers experience is different form that of ten years ago, and the business structures behind the programme production has changed. These changes will only continue.</span></p>