Fire headcanons at will!

Hit me up with all of your questions regarding the mystical world of JJBA headcanons, and I will respond in kind! Please read the rules before submitting asks. (And be aware that this blog will contain spoilers!)

[jojocannons]

VENICE, ITALY 11:49 PM

???: Finally. After years of false leads, wild goose chases, and multiple attempts on my life, I have cornered you, Don of Passione, son of DIO...

Giorno: I’m impressed that you made it past the small army of stand users that guard this compound. Perhaps, if you somehow manage to keep your organs intact tonight, we could find a use for you here.

???: Your threats don’t scare me.

Giorno: Why hide your face if you’re not afraid? Come out of the shadows, amico mio, and let us have a proper greeting.

Jotaro Kujo: Giorno Giovanna. Let’s cut to the chase. By morning, you’re going to be sleeping with the fishies.

[5 HOURS LATER]

Giorno: That school of mackerel was simply stunning. I’ve never been so close to one outside of the fish markets.

Jotaro: Seeing them reminded me of a study I was working on- was it ten years ago? Beautiful fish. Too bad we didn’t see any gilt-head bream, though. I was looking forward the chance of seeing some in the sea near here.

Giorno: Watch this.

Jotaro: That’s a gilt- YOU CAN TURN YOUR HAND INTO A FISH THAT’S SO COOL

[tyler-daily]

[kant-deactivated20190908]

desert punk is the new wave

[beamkatanachronicles]

is this stardust crusaders

[jojocannons]

Joots is obviously trying to look badass by facing away from the camera

Joseph is the old white guy

Avdol is the one guy in the blue shirt who looks like he actually had a plan about this from the beginning

Kakyoin is on the left trying his hardest to look cool but can’t stay in the frame

Polnareff is trying to outrun The Fool in the background

Iggy is “sleeping” behind the camera

[jojocannons]

What language, or languages, do you think are being spoken by the cast in Stardust Crusaders?

As an English speaker, I am incredibly biased, but I have always seen SDC as being spoken almost entirely in English…

With a couple of exceptions.

First of all, why do I believe it’s spoken in English? Well, mostly because of the fact that the characters can talk to Dio, and I doubt that Dio somehow learned Japanese while stuck in a coffin under the ocean. And then there’s Joseph, who says a lot of phrases in English even in the Japanese dub. Take into account that English is often used as a language when trades occur across borders, and somehow it just seems the most likely to me.

Otherwise, perhaps Jojo takes place in a universe where everyone speaks one language. We rarely, if ever, see communicative difficulties, even when the crusaders are in rural areas populated by folks who probably don’t speak English and definitely don’t know Japanese.Now, for the exceptions. If the cast is speaking in English, I believe that Jotaro and Kakyoin have conversations in Japanese just to piss off the “old guys.” Joseph probably speaks Japanese as evidenced by his ability to talk to everyone in Morioh, but it’s likely harder for him to speak Japanese than English, and he takes a bit longer to process it. 

Polnareff probably says various things in French to flirt with random passerby and to sound romantic/cool/mysterious. In his mind, of course. I doubt that any other members of the crusaders take his French seriously, and laugh at his attempts to sweep fair men and maidens and anyone with a pulse off of their feet.

I headcanon that Avdol is a polyglot (meaning that he knows many languages), and as such speaks to locals in their native tongue. He’s the group’s translator whenever they encounter someone who can’t understand English.

And finally, when it comes to skill in speaking English, Joseph is obviously the top dog with it being his native tongue, with Jotaro just behind him. Holly is a native English speaker, and probably used it around Jotaro all the time as a child, so he knows it almost as well as he knows Japanese. Avdol is a language geek, so he’s just after Jotaro. And finally, Kakyoin and Polnareff are tied in last. Neither are at all bad at speaking English, but have had less practice than the other three. Kakyoin probably looks to Jotaro sometimes for help if he’s forgetting a word, a service which Jotaro begrudgingly provides. Polnareff just continues on without even knowing what he’s saying. I imagine that every so often he’ll say something that sounds as if it was conjured up by google translate; he’s so confident in his charisma that he doesn’t care if he gets a phrase wrong here or there. People will love him anyway, right?

[jojocannons]

hey so if jotaro wore heelies and star platinum pushed him do you think they could break the sound barrier

I’m going to say that if Iggy being thrown like a baseball through the desert by Star didn’t break the sound barrier, that Jotaro on heelies wouldn’t either. I hate to disappoint, but Jotaro’s massive body being pushed upright would create a lot of drag, and unfortunately I don’t think those would be ideal conditions to create a heelie powered sonic boom.

It’s probably for the best. I don’t want to know what Jotaro’s body would look like after going past the speed of sound.

[jojocannons]

What's the lowdown on Mikitaka? Alien/Stand user? If he's an alien, do you think the arrow doesn't work on aliens because it's made from an alien substance itself? Is there a race of naturally born stand user aliens?!

I’ve got a lot of feelings about Mikitaka. First things first, I am almost 100% sure that Araki wrote him to be a kid who is obsessed with extraterrestrials pretending to be an alien. With that said: Honestly, which is more fun? Writing about a kid pretending to be an alien? Or writing about an alien pretending to be a kid, brainwashing a woman into thinking he’s her son, and then trying to learn about human culture from one of the least socially “normal” high schoolers in Morioh?

And so, for the sake of my own amusement, I choose to think that Mikitaka is an alien. Doesn’t mean that I don’t have evidence for it, however. Stand arrows were created from a meteorite that landed on the earth, carrying an alien virus that could grant humans special powers if they survived exposure to the substance. 

Where did that virus come from?

I’d say it originated in Mikitaka’s homeworld. It makes sense that the arrow would have been rejected by a stand user and just bounced off of them instead of embedding itself in them, as they already have a stand. If Mikitaka comes from a planet that is fully infected with this virus (read: everyone has a stand), it makes perfect sense that he would have such a neutral reaction to seeing Crazy Diamond for the first time. And if his race were able to trace the meteor falling to Earth, perhaps that is why they sent Mikitaka to investigate the planet: there would be creatures with stands, just like them. It’s some food for thought.

————–

Okay, there is another theory that I personally love myself just because I am a Pillar Man fanatic. There are a million holes that can be poked in this theory, but I love it too much to not mention it. Mikitaka could be Santana and his “mother” could be Kars that crash landed back down on Earth. First of all, volcanoes don’t actually have enough power to send objects out of Earth’s gravitational pull. Kars would have just been circling the Earth for a number of years until he inevitably came crashing back down. He can also take whatever living form he would like. It wouldn’t be unlike him to try and find an ally that he could rely on to retake power for himself, and busting Santana out of a lab would be child’s play for a being like him. He would still be cautious, however. Kars is prideful, but not stupid. He learns from his experiences. His most recent experience dictates that humans are, in fact, able to put him in stasis for years on end. 

The perfect disguise for him and his incredibly socially inept ally (as shown by Santana’s behavior in the Nazi base) would be a mother who fits perfectly into human society and a child who pretends to be from outer space, learning about society for himself. Santana has already been shown to have talent in bodily manipulation; with a mentor like Kars, he could easily learn to manipulate himself into the shapes that Earth Wind and Fire allows Mikitaka to. 

So those are my two headcanons. Neither really fits perfectly into JJBA lore, but I think that both present some very interesting possibilities for Mikitaka as a character.

[jojocannons]

Could Rohan use Heaven's Door to teach someone a language, and if so, how would they sound? / What are the limitations of this OP stand

What are the limitations of Rohan’s stand? The limitations of the “victims” themselves. …And possibly, the limitations of Rohan. Allow me to explain.

Heaven’s Door appears to be able to make a book out of anything, from people to a chicken leg (an ability which he uses to check if the chicken leg is still good). Obviously, Rohan’s spent quite a bit of time testing out his ability to learn every single one of these rather obscure applications. We never see Rohan attempt to teach people things using his stand, which seems odd, considering this tendency toward experimentation. In all likelihood, Rohan has attempted this before to poor results. Someone with a curiosity as insatiable as Rohan simply couldn’t have resisted the urge to test his limits at some point or another.

As it turns out, the limits of the stand are the limits of whoever he acts upon. If he wrote inside of someone that they could suddenly speak Japanese, they would believe that they could speak Japanese, and would try to accomplish this feat to the best of their ability. If they don’t have the knowledge required to speak Japanese, however, they instead would probably just be imitating what they’ve heard in the past as best as they could. It may even sound convincing to a non Japanese speaker! But it would be gibberish.

I believe that if Rohan took the time to write specific, individual Japanese words and their meanings into their book, then the victim would know those words. The words have become a part of who they are. This is why I say that the limitations of HD are the limits of Rohan himself - he could teach someone a language if he took the time to write the entire language into their memories, but he’s also a selfish asshole. Why would he take the time to write a whole language into someone’s head when he could be writing a new edition of his manga?

[jojocannons]

When a stand wanders outside of the user's range, what happens to the user?

Two points to make here before I answer this:

I doubt that stands would just wander out of range considering that most are under the complete control of their users.

Due to this, they would likely have to be forcibly dragged out of range in order for this condition to occur.

I envision range to be a constraint; users likely can’t actually make their stands move out of their maximum range by sheer force of will. If they were to be dragged out of range, however, I imagine that their power would grow exponentially weaker the farther away they got, and that eventually they would fizzle out of existence entirely and return to their user. This wouldn’t occur without side-effects. 

Essentially, dragging a stand out of range would be removing part of a user’s soul from their body. Souls are a concept explored heavily in Part 6 with the introduction of Pucci’s stand ability: the power to remove the memories and/or stands from a person’s body. Jotaro becomes a lifeless husk without his stand and memories, and falls into a coma which takes a long time for him to recover from even once his discs are recovered. Taking a stand out of range and forcing it to “fizzle” back to its user would likely trigger a minor version of this effect. A user might grow extremely dizzy or even faint.

If this theory were the case, it seems like it would be exploited in canon by villains, but dragging someone’s soul away from their body probably takes far more power than just punching their stand in the face and having the damage seep back into the user. It’s too much effort.

[jojocannons]

on a scale of 1 to 10 how tasty would kars rate DIO as a snack

Kars would definitely consider Dio to be a delicacy. Vampires themselves are created much like cattle for the Pillar Men, as they provide the most nourishment and as such likely are the most scrumptious. 

Dio was turned into a vampire long ago, and has a body that is muscular and appears to have very little fat. I suspect that Kars would compare such a morsel to a fine aged wine, with Dio having spent years gorging himself on mortal blood all for the glorious end of being Kars’s greatest feast.

…Or, as Pillar Men absorb their victims through their flesh, they might not taste them at all. I prefer the more dramatic option, of course.