8 years. Happy that your Roo is with you now. Your Shawols love and miss you so much, I hope that youāre continuing to rest well. Shawols take care of yourself today!
Iām feeling a lot better these days, have been able to listen to SHINee albums and Jonghyunās music. This time of year gets me a little down because as December approaches it still hurts, but I got a tattoo for him and it helps to be able to see it every day. Miss you all and hope youāre healthy and well.
āYa! Jonghyun! Seriously are we going back there again?ā Kibumās voice goes up an octave as the surroundings become more familiar. Jonghyun had tried to take a roundabout way this time, even though it was just putting off the inevitable protests of his friends.
āYou know she hates it when you do this.ā Jinkiās voice is wary and sympathetic.Ā
Jonghyun knows she hates it, but still hasnāt had enough time to break the habit.
Kibum sniffs. āYouāre so lucky I have enough homework to do to justify this.ā
Minho snorts from behind Kibum. āYouāre actually planning on doing your work this time?ā
Jonghyun smiles at the slap and yelp that quickly follows.
Theyāre nearly there, and like always, he starts to get nervous. He wipes his palms on his uniform and adjusts his hair. Jonghyun knows he should be over this by now. Be over her. But the way it ended always leaves him feeling tied to her. She was the only person he dated his entire high school career after all. And now all thatās left is basically this...stalking. He sighs, figures the fact that heās only a senior in high school still gives him the permission to be a bit childish and dramatic.
Hollyās Coffee rounds into view and Jonghyunās heart skips.Ā
There she is.
Honestly, all of his friends laughed 3 years ago when he decided to ask out the senior as a first year. But he couldnāt have cared less. She was perfect. Still is perfect. Jonghyun lets out a sigh as he watches her smile at a customer. Why was their age difference so bad? Why did it mean to her that he couldnāt love as fully or as genuinely? He had yet to figure it out.
āYa, Jjong. Youāre staring.ā Minho softly nudges him. He hadnāt even realized heād stopped moving.
Kibum hikes his bag higher on his shoulder. āShall we?ā
They cross the street and enter the same Twoās Company theyāve been coming to every week after school for the last eight weeks. Greeted by the same person who no doubt already keyed in their usual orders upon seeing them approach, and sit at the same table by the window that gives them the best view of Hollyās.Ā
Minho and Kibum take out their workbooks while Jinki opens his laptop. All three try to inconspicuously sneak glances at Jonghyun who does nothing but let his gaze get pulled back across the way to where she works.Ā
They lose interest as time goes on. They know when Jjong needs space. They wince apologetically as the cute server who is smitten with Jonghyun comes over to deliver their drinks. Jonghyunās eyes stay at the window.Ā
Suddenly, he jumps out of his seat, body all but pressed fully against the glass. Minho and Kibum exchange a look while Jinki peers at Hollyās where a car has pulled up to the front.Ā
āShit.ā
Jonghyun watches as the girl he gave his entire heart to bounds out of her job, much earlier than normal, slowing as the driverās side opens and someone gets out. He flushes as he realizes this...man, looks nothing like him. Tall, bleached blond, slicked back hair, 5 oāclock shadow. A suit. His uniform feels like a ton on his shoulders. Jonghyun hates how palpable her happiness is, and is surprised heās not crying.
He starts as arms wrap around his waist.
āAre you okay?ā He hadnāt even heard Taemin arrive.Ā
He turns and looks at his friends, staring at him and being comically still. His heart warms at their concern.Ā
Sigh. So. I really am not okay enough to watch Jonghyunās new mv which is breaking my heart into non existent pieces. But please, if you are okay enough to, support him. All I ask is that if you leave a message for him, let it be something good. Remind him how well he did and that he worked so hard. Continue to give him all the love and praise he deserves. Take care of yourselves this week please. Much love xo
Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that Iām still...present (???) Iām still having a bit of a hard time, but Iām getting better. I hope everyone is having a beautiful start to their year and are staying healthy! I love all of you, and I will see you soon. Much love xo
Happy New Year to all of my lovely followers. 2017 was beyond difficult for us, but we got through it as one family. We must think of this as a bend, not a break. Stay strong, stay healthy, and together we will have a beautiful year...oh and anticipate me, there will be a future for this blog yet...
I hope everyone is having a happy and safe holiday season. I know itās hard around this time of year when youāve lost someone you love, but keep your heart open, and donāt forget to let love in. It may always be a little hard, but you will always have this family by your side. Happy Holidays, much love.
Thank you so much to everyone who responded to my earlier message. Here is the letter that I will write everyoneās name on to put out at Jonghyunās memorial tonight. At the end of the week it will be sent to SM Entertainment. I was truly touched at how much this family cares about one another and the outpouring of love I received. Please continue being each otherās strength while still taking care of yourselves. I love all of you and will continue to be here for you. Trans: Our Jonghyun, We miss you. But we know that you are happy right now. Thank you for everything. You worked hard. We are so proud of you. We love you so much. Rest In Peace, our shining star. Love always...
for those interested: members of the shinee reddit community are in the process of putting planning both a book and charity project in the name of jonghyun. as to quote what was written in the main post (which can be found here):
āweāll be collecting, compiling, and translating messages from fans into a book commemorating jonghyun to send to the shinee members. weāll also be including with the book the certificate of the donation we made in his honor.
the charity portion of the project is completely optional. we know not everyone has money, and the book itself will still be made no matter what, as the donations weāve received from in-server already cover the book cost. because of that, any additional donations will be given to a foundation that focuses on mental health and lgbtq+ youth activism in south korea, which we think is something jonghyun would believe in. the foundation is called dding dong.ā
guidelines for submissions can be found at the linked, along with how can you submit what you want to include. donations are not required but an option if you have some extra money to spare. the due date for submissions will be january 5th, 2018.
Hello everyone!! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT IF YOU ARE IN THE SEOULĀ AREA. After speaking with a super awesome follower last night, they let me know that while they were in Seoul, they found Park Su Yeon at the Yonsei 21 clinic outside of exit 4 of Jeonja station.They said that she was actually seriously helpful in terms of mental illnesses.Ā If you feel even a little of what our Jonghyun was feeling, please, please seek help. Your mental health is JUST AS IMPORTANT as your physical health. Stay safe and stay strong. If you have any specific questions, please privately message me and I can give you the handle of the follower who gave me this information. And please pass this along! much love xo
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