Jon was young, that much was clear. “You had a daddy that gave you a collar? That’s a very intimate daddy son relationship. And a lot to go through. It must be rough to feel alone again,” he acknowledged. Beau had never done to that to him so Brett wasn’t sure if he’d ever have been able to handle it. “Did you do a lot of puppy play?”
Brett wasn’t sure how to help. Jon was obviously scared of intimacy but not many people liked the recommendation of going to a therapist. But Brett wasn’t sure if that would be the worst idea for Jon, who seemed to have been through a lot though he was very young.
Brett had offered because it was something he knew. All the new information made him feel a little uncertain though. He’d never been with anyone whose gender expression was anything other than male. So he wanted to make sure not to be too invasive but to be as helpful as possible.
“Well, that could be something to help you become more intimate with yourself. After all, a lover or a daddy or a dom or whoever- well they have fingers but they’re not attached to you. They’re attached to them. As a sub, one of the first things I learned was that I got pleasure from giving my dom pleasure. And you can’t put a price on the things that bring you job both in and outside of the bedroom,” he said, in familiar territory.
“Sounds like it could be confusing,” Brett acknowledged with a nod. “I myself am a little intimidated to help you now because you’d be my first time with someone intersex and I know that that’s outside of something in my norm, if you will. Do you- do you identify as more male or female then? Or is that a bad question to ask?” Brett asked.
“Yes,” Jon nodded. He didn’t have much concept of the BDSM community outside of his experiences with Sky and Shane. Being tied down was a big no for him, but there were a variety of other kinky things he did like. Not that he was going to share that information with Brett. Still, he didn’t know how significant collaring truly was, so he didn’t know that much. “No, we didn’t.”
“Yeah, I liked it because t’e fingers weren’t attached to me,” the little Irish boy was rather confused and only growing more so with the passing moments. He didn’t regret bringing any of the conversation up because it didn’t seem like a big deal to him. Sure, he realized he was an anomaly after seeing a few other men nude, but he felt ok with himself. “Well, I got pretty good at sucking his dick and I really liked that...but it was big so sometimes I struggled.”
Things started crashing down a little bit when he heard Brett ask how he identified. He wasn’t sure what that question was meant to get at and he thought it was pretty obvious. “Identify as?” He looked down at himself and then back up at the man. “I’m a boy...I just have weird chromosomes...which mean,” Jon vaguely gestured to his abdomen and crotch, but now he felt weird. He didn’t think he was intimidating, but here Brett was telling him that he was out of the ordinary. “Nevermind, I don’t need your help.”
Jon hadn’t realized, because Shane had so openly accepted who he was with no questions, that other people were going to think he was strange. The doctors had told him there was nothing to worry about, but he supposed they couldn’t have warned him about this part of it.Â
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