animated lesbians making out as a follower milestone on bluesky. enjoy 💋💋

if i look back, i am lost
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Acquired Stardust

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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ojovivo
$LAYYYTER

oozey mess
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

tannertan36
Cosimo Galluzzi
DEAR READER

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@theartofmadeline
occasionally subtle
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@jorbler
animated lesbians making out as a follower milestone on bluesky. enjoy 💋💋
woman on the bus next to me furiously doing a 7x7 rubix cube at a speed that implies she's done this a thousand times. maybe i do understand lesbians actually.
she finished the cube and spent the rest of the bus ride staring dead straight ahead. unmoving. perhaps some kind of cube fuelled robot.
me: im so bored today idk what to do
the scary pervert: i have an idea....
me: oh my god ew no
the scary pervert: wtf is your problem i was gonna suggest we play mario kart. come on
me: oh okay phew i thought you were gonna suggest we have evil sex again
the scary pervert: i'm a complex and multifaceted person, mori. i'm more than just a few sexual encounters
me: okay youre right im sorry
the nuanced individual: thank you. now if i win you have to let me hurt you sexually
me: [smiling] sure why not, that seems fair enough
It's your game and you can do what you want. You can spit on me and step on my face for this I deserve it. The players are always wrong. But I want some use for multiple copies of an emoji
oh i've actually got a "combine 3 surplus emojis into 1 random one" system planned at some point eventually. sorry what was that
vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off
Thinking about how when the Oceangate sub imploded, the coastguard picked it up on their radar and knew from the moment it happened that everyone on board was already gone, and yet there was still a five day manhunt.
And how like a week before that, a refugee ship sank off the coast of Greece, whose officials knew this was happening and had ships within reach, but intentionally did nothing.
And how there was like the most expansive manhunt in recent history to find a suspect in the UHC shooting. In a city known for its unsolved crimes. How Briana Boston was arrested for a vaguely perceived threat to a CEO she wasn't even speaking to nor mentioned, while internet stalkers are never addressed unless they hurt someone, and then it's a maybe
And just how there is always money to perform for the rich, even when they can't actually be helped. And there is never money to help the poor, no matter how easy they would be to save.
And for some reason it's considered "dangerous and extreme" to want a world where our lives aren't just fodder at the whims of the rich.
me when i get pulled over and the cop hasnt even begun talking yet
EAT
Well this joke certainly aged well
a guy shoots at me with a sniper rifle and I catch the bullet in my teeth and eat it, but he saw that coming and put poison in the bullet, but I saw that coming and drank an antidote ahead of time, but all those weird chemicals still give me a really bad kidney stone a few days later and I pass out from pain and crash my car into, by pure coincidence, the sniper
Reblogging this manually. Op doesn't want credit for fear of being terminated.
Dendrogaster (a crustacean that parasitizes starfish)
this is how they look
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, CRUSTACEAN.
my tags need to go in the main part of the post actually
this is what im talking about that's fucking horrible. worth noting though that the crustaceans are a broad class of marine animal which include barnacles and such as well as the usual suspects. so the nightmarish vision of a crab evolving into that terrible thing is thankfully not true
IMPORTANT UPDATE FROM @velociraptrix BARNACLES ARE DESCENDED FROM MOBILE LEG HAVING NORMAL ANIMALS. hell world hell world hell world
Oh, it gets better. Barnacles aren't just descended from mobile leg having normal animals, they ARE mobile leg having normal animals! A barnacle larva looks like this:
Waldo Nell, flickr ... and do they ever swim around. Quickly. Effectively. Tirelessly. It's only at barnacle puberty that they stick themselves upside down to a convenient rock and scramble their body plan through metamorphosis. The feeding tendrils (cirri) on adult barnacles are actually the remaining legs! See?
Matt Lau, Point Reyes National Park Yeah... There is in fact a group of barnacles, called the Rhizocephala, that do the ungodly horrorparasite thing. Instead of finding a rock or section of timber, that normal looking larva finds the skin of a host. Instead of turning upside down and growing a shell, it expels a tiny, featureless glob of cells that burrows into the host and begins to grow. And grow. And grow. The resulting animal has no symmetry, no segments, no organs except ovaries. It is a filigreed tangle of thirsty roots, weaving into the host's body, stealing its shape and drinking its life.
And the hosts are?
Conventional crustaceans, like this hermit crab here!! Worst family dinner ever! Yeah if you sequenced the genomes of these entwined bodies you would register kin. There are barnacle relatives that we've only ever seen as larvae because they're parasites and we can't find the host. Hundreds of years of careful documentation and we do not know what they turn into. What a lovely, terrifying mystery!
a concept: a bus, but horizontal
i have to do all the work around here
I don’t know why but I was picturing this:
He had to fight his way to the top
What if we made busses that are the length of their route. So you get on and just walk through the stationary bus to your destination.
That is called a path
i won’t say anything weird anymore i prommy (different way of saying promise)
fact-checking me is a form of violence