Arcturus Beaming on a Summer Night

Nerdi // they/he/xe/it // https://linktr.ee/nerdicorn

[reversecentaur]

the inevitable conclusion

[chaoflaka]

So 2016 is SO bad that it made the creator of this meme give us an alternative version of “This is Fine”. 

[oldsgie-deactivated20260302]

oh. twenty sixteen you say.

[anarchistmemedistro]

[exeggcute]

one of my favorite this american life segments of late is about the people who played orchestra pit for phantom of the opera on broadway and how, like, a sizeable majority of them had literally been playing the show since it opened in 1988 (on broadway. I know it opened in 86 on the west end, you random pedants, but I am specifically talking about broadway musicians) because their contracts stipulated that they'd have jobs throughout the show's entire run... but nobody anticipated that phantom would become the longest-running broadway show of all time.

and none of these people wanted to walk away from a guaranteed job, so very few of them ever quit. they just kept doing the same show eight nights a week... for twenty or thirty years... and by the time it finally closed last year most of these musicians (who had been working together for DECADES) hated each other and really really fucking loathed phantom. I can't stop thinking about it. it's indescribably hellish to imagine but also the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[exeggcute]

can you imagine.

[bisexualshakespeare]

[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]

[cleverlittlefox]

[cleverlittlefox]

[cleverlittlefox]

[captain-price-returns]

oh no they’re going to start calling democrats the same thing they’ve been calling democrats for 20 years now

[hotvampireadjacent]

[thewellofastarael]

"Here’s a trick I learned during the Obama presidency for handling certain types of political labels. Take, as an example, the Tea Party claim that Obama is a Communist. Don’t take the word of the person making the claim (Tea Partiers). Don’t rely on the rebuttal of the target (Obama), because that will just be dismissed. Go to the group itself (Communists) and ask them. Ask an actual Communist if Obama is a comrade and see how they answer. Watch as they laugh at you, then explain in great detail how they wish there was a Communist in the White House, but here’s a long and exhaustive list of why that just isn’t so. Now apply this logic to the claim that Hillary is pretty much the same as a Republican. Ask an actual Republican if they think Hillary Clinton is one of them. Watch them laugh, and then explain in the same exhausting detail why that just isn’t so. Some of them might concede that she’s better than Trump, but that’s not the same thing. Finally, go ask a White Supremacist if Trump is one of them. As they excitedly explain how Trump is the guy they’ve been waiting for all these years, and how he’s really empowered their movement, use this to guide how you will be voting in November."

Source: a 2016 facebook posts by Craig Enan, since then deleted (OG link here)

[inber]

Say you break your ankle. You could know everything there is to know intellectually about the injury. Even with this vast knowledge, you will still experience physical pain.

Now take this logic and apply it to things like ADHD, autism, clinical depression, and other less visible/divergent disabilities. You cannot think your way out of feeling.

That is to say: you are not a bad, lazy, or selfish person for struggling, even if you know why you are struggling.

[thepolymorphexperience]

Genuinely, thank you so much for this.

[kropotkindersurprise]

[kropotkindersurprise]

it's offical!

[kropotkindersurprise]

[kropotkindersurprise]

it's offical!

[kropotkindersurprise]

[kropotkindersurprise]

it's offical!

[alm-of-lexia]

personal observations made by a new cane user:

you do not need to be in constant pain to own a cane.

folding canes have a clasp or band to keep them folded. losing the band is a pain in the ass.

you will get dirty looks

it does not matter what age you are. you will get dirty looks.

you have to hold it in the opposite hand as the disabled leg. this is fortunate, as I am right handed, so i hold it in my left hand to support my right leg.

people will try to steal your cane from you.

when standing still, I hold it in my right hand unless i need to do something right handedly. this does not work as well as i thought it would.

being visibly physically disabled is difficult. having a mobility aid will help with pain and movement, but some people don't get them because visible disability is treated with disgust.

if someone meets you for the first time, and you don't have your cane, then they will like you more, but they will not believe you are actually disabled.

if someone meets you for the first time, and you have your cane, they will not treat you the same.

the majority of other cane and mobility aid users I have met are homeless. I live close to a big city.

People do not want to see you being disabled.

you will not hear of the benefits of using a cane from anyone who does not use a cane.

no one will prepare you for the world of being visibly physically disabled. however bad you think we have it is usually not from the disability at all. I can deal with pain and I can deal with an indisposed left hand.

the hardest part of being disabled is the fact that no one will care until you make them care.

the disabled seats on trains are a suggestion

the disabled seats on buses are a suggestion.

you will have a different experience with using a cane than I have had.

your hand will become tired. you are using it as a leg.

your cane is legally a part of your body. this will not stop some people.

you are not your disability. but it will affect you.

i love you

theres always an invisible someone who has it worse. that person will not be affected or offended by your use of a cane. take the damn ibuprofen. put the folded cane in your bag. ask your friends for help. gd knows they need help sometimes too.

you will have to learn that things will be impossible to you. you may not run as fast anymore. you may not become a skater, like you always wanted to be. you may be left behind when everyone else runs ahead.

you deserve better.

your cane handle gets dirty. wash it.

some days pain is worse. some days you will feel it the moment you wake up.

no one deserves pain. the human condition is not to suffer. we deserve better. we deserve to be loved and not tolerated. we deserve to be seen better than from the corners of eyes. we deserve to be heard better than an afterthought at a meeting.

be quick to care for yourself. I love you.

Stop tagging this as a reference for your writing or characters or whatever. I'm a person. I am real. You make it sound like I'm the first disabled person you've heard of. This post was made by a disabled person for other disabled people. Tired of this disrespect

[demifiendcruithne]

fellow cane/crutch users; if you have even the slightest chance of having to deal with snow/ice. get an ice grip thing that you put on the end of your cane. it might save your life

they're a pain to put on if you have trouble with screws but once they're on they can stay on so you can just ask someone else one time if you need to too. squeezing the two tips (the black left/right pointing ones here) inward lets you flip it up so when you go inside / off snow/ice you can easily switch to the regular grip they're pretty cheap but you might have to get it from amazon / ebay / etc. if it has to be amazon don't beat yourself up over it sometimes we just don't have a choice

if you use a cane with a different sort of base to this, you might have to have one with this sort of base as a specialised winter cane. i have a cool one with like a fidget spinner shaped base so i can step on it if it falls over to lever it back up but i can't put the ice grip on it so i'm going to have to retire it for the winter soon

i'm sorry if this is derailing but. i think it's relevant for new cane users to know or even those who've used it for a while or people who know cane users etc. please stay safe

[karvina]

variations on "feel old yet" meme:

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago

[ndnbutch]

alright my little musical theater performer. it’s time to MASH those m&ms for mommy. that’s right… you know you need unique New York….

[bleedthebeat]

mommy’s going to put a leash on you now… should she use the red leather or the yellow leather?

[ndnbutch]

alright my little musical theater performer. it’s time to MASH those m&ms for mommy. that’s right… you know you need unique New York….

[bleedthebeat]

mommy’s going to put a leash on you now… should she use the red leather or the yellow leather?

[ndnbutch]

alright my little musical theater performer. it’s time to MASH those m&ms for mommy. that’s right… you know you need unique New York….

[bleedthebeat]

mommy’s going to put a leash on you now… should she use the red leather or the yellow leather?

[lickingandsuckingchristmascoins]

come over

[trangoldin]

American diet and "healthy living" culture is insane and runs DEEP

[jennamoran]

who the heck is eating dice, cards, and pool

[aniseandspearmint]

WHAT is the first one supposed to be? It looks like 'piecing between meals' to me, but that can't be what it says, right?

[prfury-lavaca]

It does in fact say “piecing between meals” and it refers to snacking

[prokopetz]

I'm more struck by the fact that the progression set forth here implies that laudanum and cocaine are less concerning that spicing your food.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Werewolves had invaded my house and the only cure to stop them from turning was pickle juice. Pouring it on them, not making them drink it

[furry-fey]

Okay but why are we curing them?

[venatico]

[finnwolfhards]

this is superior humor

[duke-chainsaw]

I have some to add:

[pyros-random-thoughts]

M O R E

[oh-great-autistic-gay]

I hope you enjoy

[bravelycowering]

[toskarin]

I think a lot about this one twitter post where someone, lacking a few crucial pieces of information, says "you know jesus wasn't real" (not really the popular stance among non-religious scholars these days, but fair enough) "and neither was muhammad" (the degree of historical attestation here is a bit different)

[toskarin]

the first point's buy-in is that multiple accounts fabricate the presence of a preacher, the second point's buy-in is that the entire arabian peninsula woke up one fine morning and decided it was conquered

[funnuraba]

every wikipedia entry for a comic book character is like

Classic Era: Professor Two-Apes was created when a bored alien glued two gorillas together with a magic rock. He later turned to evil when a colleague took credit for his research. In his debut appearance, Professor Two-Apes turned the Eiffel Tower into a banana.

Modern Era: Tu-Apes was the result of years of painful animal experimentation. He killed the doctor who created him, stole the blood-stained diploma off his wall, and now wears it around his neck. In the Conflagration crossover event, he was seen being beaten to death with one of his own spines. He was later resurrected by Satanists and currently suffers from a debilitating heroin addiction.

[eternal-gromnommer]

@funnuraba how dare you tempt my idle and sinful hand

[titleknown]

…Reblogging because, from the original post I’d actually imagined a configuration of the two apes more akin to Professor Monkey For A Head from Earthworm Jim.

But honestly, this design looks way better, hats off to ya!