Golden

I am Josh, I'm 20 and I am currently neither here nor there. This is a space to share my writing, and to potentially share something that helps another along their journey through love and pain. “The more I read, the more I acquire, the more certain I am that I know nothing.” - Voltaire

[chasing--ghxsts]

“I fell in love with him when I was 17, she said, now I’m 21. It took me 4 years to resign myself. 4 years to fully realize I would never have him. ” “So, you stopped loving him eventually. ” “No, no, you don’t understand. I gave up on him because I had to, that doesn’t mean I no longer love him. It’s not the type of love that can possibly end. ”

Until eternity (via sleevesofgrass)

[wordsnquotes]

I am afraid I will be like this forever.

Sierra DeMulder, “Today Means Amen” (via wordsnquotes)

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

[wildermouse]

the rainforest is my home 🌲🌿🍄

[michaeldaaboul]

I tried to be better, but I couldn’t.

Michael Daaboul ~ Life Is Hard (via thesocietyofpoets)

[joshshore-blog]

Dear someone, Everything is a disaster. Everything is my fault. I have burnt bridges and buildings and set fire to opportunity after opportunity and I am so crushingly alone. I look at the sky and see shades of dull grey and I don’t feel part of the Earth anymore. I search whole dimensions for meaning and purpose and I am met by demons and smoke each time. They never leave my mind, each one of them touching me, marking me as theirs, and I can’t help the screaming, I really can’t. Their fingers haunt my dreams. Their eyes pierce my skull. It happens again and again and again and again and Then there’s her. I really loved her. She was summer rain and I was winter fire and we were a tornado of oxytocin and friendship. I told her to turn the lights on in her life and instead she fizzled out into nothing, dangling from a tree in a park. 3 days beforehand she saved my life and I never got to see the look in her eyes. I didn’t thank her thank her thank her I didn’t hug her like I knew I should, I ignored her as she sat beside me, blood gushing from my neck. I miss her. I miss us. And finally, there’s him. I really loved him, I did, but he was so young and so naive and I was so old and so lost and we clashed like lightning to the damned soil. We failed. I failed. I didn’t know who I was and couldn’t see through the me me me fog enough to see him hurting and longing and I I am an abomination, a true creature of darkness. My light was consumed by them touching me - by them drowning me and my flame was extinguished by them leaving me. I am the aftermath of a world war and I am still unsure if I want to rebuild. I want to be pure again. Yours, Josh

Josh Shore ~ Yours, Josh

[rosespell]

[joshshore-blog]

there is so much blood and I am drowning in the blackness it is swallowing me whole a tidal wave of you and me and him and them and I don't want to be here any longer I am so close to being infinite and I can't stop now

Josh Shore ~ Infinite

[softersea]

you are four years of water.  pooled in my throat. everything i swallow. turns soft.  - you.

[joshshore-blog]

memories dance across my eyes like shooting stars embedding their grief into my retinas you are so far gone now an eternity lies between us  and these memories hold me still  stuck in the place between with you and without  I am a child that found himself lost in an infinite forest  I am the moon on a cloudy night  I am sinking into this damned mattress  through the floor, through the earth  I am a hawk that has lost his sight  flashes of you erase the room around me  flooding me with the way your hair smelled in the rain  filling me up with the way your hand held mine   when I could see no end to my agony  your eyes haunt my nightmares now i do not find any relief  I am an abandoned bus  left stranded on a dirt road  I am an overflowing dam  I am drying up like a vein  slit open  I am an invisible man - a hologram

Josh Shore ~ hologram (via joshshore)

[joshshore-blog]

it was two in the morning and there she stood stuck in a state, an utter disgrace how could she have become so undone? she gazed at every curve and every line felt every sensation like white-hot fire how could she have fallen so far from the mountain that she came from? she watched herself cry and cry and cry everything had become a lie -   a far cry from reality, time drove her down the road to insanity the mirror tells a tale of a shooting star  that shot itself too damn far to catch any opportunity for a place to call home the mirror told the ultimate story that this girl was in the wrong body and nothing could ever be okay  she was so dysphoric and lonely it was two in the morning and there she stood stuck in a state, how is this her face? what did she ever do to you? what is it you were trying to prove? did you think that you could break her? - baby, all she's ever done is bend.

Josh Shore ~ on being transgender

[joshshore-blog]

Hey guys, please give this a listen and a share/like if you enjoy it! You guys rock! (Josh Shore)

[joshshore-blog]

I don't even know what I'm writing about anymore. I am so full of thoughts and emotions and people and places and things and things and things and I am slowly disintegrating, like a cliff by the ocean. I am returning to stardust one flashback at a time and I can't stop hearing that bottle of pills sweetly singing my name. I am tired of counting the bumps on my bedroom ceiling and I am exhausted from simply breathing. I was once told that time heals all ills but time seems to latch on to me like a toddler to his mother, suffocating me with his screaming, hear me, hear me, hear me. Believe me, I hear him. My problem is that I can no longer hear anything else.

Josh Shore ~ Time

[mentamorphisis]

I want someone to tell me that I matter. And I want to believe them.

And even if I don’t, it’d be nice to know someone thinks so // Ceres (via mentamorphisis)

[joshshore-blog]

I can’t seem to connect my thoughts he has filled my brain with cobwebs he threw me into a thick forest then chased me through the darkness I am so scared he will take everything I have I am terrified he will take everything I love I am losing hope like bullets leave guns

Josh Shore ~ the chase