joy.

my name is quite the jinx. // insta: @joy_etc

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

I'd kill just to think about anyone else before I went to sleep.

(your memories are forever running through my mind)

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

I am made up of empty promises and pretty lies

jh

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

I wish I could remember what your voice sounded like.

(letting go is painful)

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

things I miss about you

1. your smell 2. how you get wing sauce all over your face even when you go out to eat 3. your glasses 4. the way you'd look at me when we cuddled 5. you were willing to watch action movies with me 6. the way you'd groan when I'd steal the aux cord 7. your friends 8. the look you gave me when I agreed with your grandma saying you were cute 9. when you'd playfully be mad at me 10. your bed felt like home 11. you stayed up late to talk to me 12. your dimples 13. when I hugged you it felt just right 14. how much you love your car 15. your hand was a perfect fit in mine 16. you made up pet names for me & I pretended to hate them but they really made me smile 17. the way you'd kiss my forehead 18. you could always make me laugh 19. when you'd kiss my palm & all my fingers because you knew I loved it 20. my parents love you 21. you let me spike your hair up like mine & kissed me while I was doing it 22. your sick dance moves 23. you're such a bad singer, but God, I'd kill to hear you sing once more 24. how you'd always get frustrated with me because I'd never seen Star Wars 25. watching you fold laundry 26. putting weird things in your cart at the store because they made you laugh 27. you

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

your face forever stuck in my mind & your initials forever etched into my skin

(I am falling)

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

I am simply an empty shell of everyone that has left me.

jh

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

I don't know if he left or I left but I feel cold to the core

(goodbye my almost lover)

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

no one is as different as they say they are.

(it's taken me far too long to realize this)

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

Your blue eyes are more stunning than the crimson that used to stain my skin.

(jh)

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

things I love about you:

1. the curl of your lip just before you smile 2. the scars on your shoulder 3. the way you squeeze me tight from behind 4. when you nuzzle your face into my neck 5. the smell of your cologne 6. how accepting you are of my family 7. the way you cover your mouth when you laugh really hard 8. the way you pet my hair when you think I’m asleep 9. how patient you are with my innocence 10. you can always make me laugh 11. how you rub my knuckles when we hold hands 12. when you suck it up and let me use the aux cord for my weird music 13. you are warm when I am cold 14. the way you sing in the car even though you know you’re awful 15. when you buy me food 16. you take me to movies you know I’ll love but you’ll hate 17. you embrace my past 18. you make your friends sit in the backseat so I can have shotgun 19. when you attack me with kisses 20. when you kiss me gently 21. when you kiss me hard 22. you always ask if I want anything to drink when we stop at the gas station 23. you put up with my stupidity 24. my cat loves you 25. you drive me home even when there are tornado warnings and you might die 26. how soft your hair is 27. when you let me spike your hair up like mine 28. the feeling of your back underneath my hands 29. you tell me embarrassing stories about your friends 30. how aggravated you get when I find out about embarrassing stories about you 31. the way you hold the small of my back

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

my scars are fading and so are you

(12:34 pm)

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

I wake up every morning craving the warmth of your body next to mine.

(jh)

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

no matter how hard I try to be happy, darkness still somehow seeps into the corners of my head

(I don't want to stay clean)

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

I'm still having trouble believing he actually loves and wants me.

(hold me closer)

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

your eyes are a rocket to the moon

(your lips taste like june)

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

Please don't take my sunshine away.

(I don't remember being this happy)

[joy-in-the-nightmare]

I kissed him today & I think my heart stopped beating.

(finding my happiness again)