Samantha Waters @joybefore - Tumblr Blog

A Season to Let Go

I went to a lovely store today calld #Altar’dState. Maybe you have heard of it. nevertheless, it is a beautiful store with tasteful clothing, jewelry, and scripture & encouraging words on things like wood and ring holders. I bought a sign that reads, “Let go and Let God.” It was *perfect* timing finding this sign because I had the thought this morning that, maybe, just maybe, I am in a season of letting go.

To let go means to release your grasp. I am majorly stubborn and my grasp is tight. There are a few things I am letting go of.

Letting go of the disappiontment in relationships. Have you ever had that ex-boyfriend that just sorta kinda...haunted you. That’s been me this year. Bye.

Letting go of my ideal dream. To let go of my dream does not mean to stop trying. But rather, it’s about loosing my grip of my idea of my dream in my head and to allow more time than planned. I seriously had my nursing degree and career on this nice little. The path has some bumps, rocks, and turns I never saw coming. Bye ideals.

I want to let go of anxiety. I wish I could just say no to anxiety and be done with it. But, yet, its not that easy. So to let this go, I am reaching out for help. If you are the praying kind, pray for the right counselor, medicine, ect. I am eternally grateful for your thoughts & prayers.

In this season of letting go, anxiety has reached a high. I do not understand why, but thr truth is, pain teaches you. Endurance builds your character. Pressing on is the best thing you can do.

Consider letting that one thing go for you. Letting go helps you take a nother step in your right direction.

Make peace and love.

Life of a C.N.A.

Bright-eyed and bushy tailed. It is 6:30 AM. I am off today from working at the hospital, but my body did not get the memo, so here I am, awake and writing. It has been months since I have sat in my cushion padded chair and put my computer to work. You may be wondering why I am normally awake so gosh-derned early. I am a CNA at our local hospital. In case you are unsure, a CNA is a certified nursing assistant. and I chose the trauma floor. I had three different floors to choose from, but sometimes I wonder if trauma chose me. I must be insane.

When I go months without writing, anxiety seems to build and then sit in me. When I sit down to write, it slips away. I begin to wonder what I was ever worried about.

Along with 3 12 hour shifts at the hospital, I am also in college. Dreams seem so magical and fun before you step into them. Don’t get me wrong. I am happy I work in the hospital, dream number one, and I am glad to be going to school, currently on the track to hopefully be accepted into nursing school. I just laugh at myself when I think about how perfectly beautiful my dream to be a nurse was. I forgot the tiny, major detail of the hard work and wonder often how did i get into this?? I almost constantly wondering if I can do this, get lower grades than hoping lately, and feel close to metal break downs each time I receive a test back. Some days feel manageable, other times I am a puddle of tears for a day or two.

In large, this is the hardest goal I have ever pursued. Its the balancing of work, homework, classes, house work, car work, family & friends. It’s the sad tug on my heart when I can’t go somewhere with family because I must study. Its the sundays I miss at church, or the trips I can’t attend. But then... its the patient who gets to go home, the comfort you give to families as their beloved passes, or just your presence when no one can make sense of their tragedy. It’s the holding it all together when you are treated less than human, and the one who constantly thanks you for doing you job with care. Some days, most days, I see strangers more than family. (Mom, if you read this, this is why I call so much lately..) We do have days where we have to skip breakfast and scarf down lunch that we barely tasted. But then... on that end of shift of your long stretch... there isn’t enough gratitude in the world to express the feeling of making it. And buying yourself some ice cream to celebrate.

So, here’s to going after your magical dreams and pursuing the hardest thing you have ever had to do. Here’s to giving it your all, especially when you feel like giving up and throwing in the towel. It’s okay to try, its okay to cry. Like my favorite red head once said,

“I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done.”

-Lucille Ball-

#cna #lucilleball #lifeofacna #college #nursing

3 Changes that Changed me

Have you ever met someone who is hard to love? Like REALLY hard to be nice to? Your conversation starts out fine, but then everything wrong in the entire world is brought up and the drama starts to build like a huge wave and all you want to do is run away? TIMBERRRRRRRRRRR!

Talk about stressful! I knew someone like this before. Ok, ok... it was me.

When I was a teenager, it was hard to love me. I am pretty sure every sentence that formed in my mouth came out negative. Like the Bible says, what is in your heart always comes out of your mouth. According to my mouth, I was miserable! I had absolutely NO self confidence. It was normal to hear me say, “I am so fat. I am ugly. No one likes me.” Have you ever had a friend like that, or perhaps it was you? Cmon, I know I wasn’t the only teenager with issues. This was real stuff, guys. I honestly am not sure how I made it. But I am so glad the story doesn’t end there.

You can never change another person. They must want to change. I finally was fed up with being miserable! The way I was living and thinking finally disgusted me. I remember one person saying that all of my talk made me selfish. And it was true. Self negative talk is well... all about you. That was one of those light bulb moments for me. There were a few more along the way that helped me to wake up from my self induced nightmare. I decided some things have got to change!

Over the course of a few years, some specific things changed:

1. How I Spoke: I spent time catching myself about to say something negative and hold my tongue. I even had friends who made me say 3 nice things about myself if they caught me being mean.

2: How I Thought: Family, friends, and the media highly influence our thoughts. I took note of what I was listening to and how it effected what I thought about. Many movies were no longer watched, some friends were no longer in the picture, and I took good advice from my family.

3. How I believed: Faith directs my actions. I began to take time reading the Bible and hearing what Jesus has to say. The bible is about love. It redirected my negative way of life into a positive, truthful and kind life towards myself and others.

As these three things began to change, all of me was being made different. Mean thoughts about myself became less, my thoughts changed into having hope, and my faith grew roots. Its extremely hard to love someone who is trapped in a negative life. Because I have changed, I have hope that others can have a better life, too. Know that they need love to, no matter how hard it feels sometimes. They become that way somehow and sometimes you need a hand to show you a different way.

Until next time...

Should I?

Tonight, I have been considering different options and decisions in life that are out there. I become very antsy when I stay in one spot or feel like I do the same thing over and over again. That’s just my personality. As I was weighing options, I googled searched, “making wise decisions christian” to find bible verses about this because I think its wise to consult God. Not only did He make the world and everyone in it, I believe He is very much alive and wanting to help us in anyway when we ask Him to. I was flooded with several bible verses. The ones that stuck out to me talk about not being quick or hasty when you are deciding. For example, Proverbs 21:5 explains, “ “The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, but everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty.” I surely have gotten myself in numerous messes before because I jumped the gun. When I become anxious, upset, or excited, I have made quick action that always, always lead to pain. Mainly in relationships. As a teenager, I always said yes to whoever asked me to be their girlfriend. Those obviously always ened with a hurt heart. Most of the time, when I have some bright idea, I am probably anxious or restless. I must remind myself that these feelings will pass and its more important to stick to the task then change just because I am bored.

I have been quick to leave because I am unhappy. I am quick to go off on my own because I am self-seeking. I have been quick to quit when it just begins to get hard. But the beauty of pain is that when you can not take anymore, you usually finally figure out there must be another way than what I am doing.

I have come up with 3 do not be quick in doing that can help you to avoid hurtful situations from my own experiences. I hope they help you to consider that big decision you need to make this week.

Top 3 things to consider not doing so quickly...

*Do not be quick to leave. It effects not only you, but those you leave behind.

*Do not be quick to quit. That’ll burn a bridge so quickly you wont be able to cross again.

*Do not be quick to be alone. Being on your own is self seeking and you do not need isolation to succeed.

Consider your options before jumping. Consideration and counselor saves you from a lot of heartache and messes to plan up.

(For the resource that helped me with scripture, visit: http://www.watermark.org/blog/decision-making-principles In no way am I affilated with the watermark website, but found it in a simple google search)

I’ll take care of you

I am convinced the best kind of kindness is the kind that sneaks up on you & takes you by surprise. I work in the medical field and can never explain enough how the little moments of kindness lifts my spirit every time. It’s like adding fuel to the fire, the last flower to top the cake, or the last shine to a diamond. It gives you reason to conquer the very next task.

Kindness is something I do not take lightly. It makes me cringe under my skin to see someone being unkind in the professional world. I am constantly trying to hold my tongue in order that I am not unkind, especially in the home and with those I am close to.

Kindness is...

*telling the wife that she need not worry about her dying husband because we will take good care of him

*holding the hand of a timid, scared elderly woman to keep her calm

*holding your tongue when the one thing you have forgotten is pointed out over and over again

*holding it all together when you know their time is close

Writing these statements out is a sort of therapy for me. I love what I do, but I am still new. I am learning to cope, sort with, and keep it together when death is near. To not hate the dying transition, but to ease the pain and be honored to be the last to take care of the grandfather, father, mother, grandmother, or sister. Does it make me stronger or crazy to be in this profession? No matter who you are, what you’ve done, what you say, I will take care of you.

As you are older, retired, tired, and far from home, I’ll be your reminder of younger days, your burst of energy, your memories of your career, and a home away from home. Whatever you need, let me know. I’ll make you comfortable, I’ll tuck you in, I’ll put your teeth in. I’ll clean you up, make you smell good, brush your hair, and keep your blankets straight. I’ll pay attention to the details and listen a little longer. I’ll be your hug before bed, your warm hand to hold onto when you are cold, and your extra smile when the pain is much to bear. I’ll take care of you.

Works-based Gospel

As my eyes scanned the screen on my devotional, I wondered if I related to what I was reading. I believe in learning from everything that is put in front of you. The subject was about a works-based gospel instead of salvation alone in Christ Jesus. In my big head, I know I cannot earn salvation but that it is a gift from Jesus Christ and all you need to do is accept it. I have. But my life has turned into striving for many years. In almost every moment, I am striving to advance in life, have better things, and give away more. I instantly try to justify myself as I explain that I only want good things, not bad things. I want my own home, I want better food, better clothes, and consider often if the people I am around pull me down or bring me up. “Self, am I derailed from the truth?”

A works-based gospel is always striving to earn. I have salvation, believe it, and receive it. Yet, in other areas of my life I strive to earn. I try to earn my authorities approval by saying the right things and doing the right things. I try to earn peace in the home by cleaning, organizing, and keeping my mouth shut. I try to earn the degree, make more money, and lift myself higher in society. I can’t help but sense something is wrong here. Galatians 1:10 states, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” And then it hits me. I try to seek approval of myself. I don’t accept myself as I am.

What would it look like to accept myself as I am? As I type this, my mind wages against itself, reminding me that I should always try to be better. What is better anyway? Sure, you do not intentionally hurt someone or mess up. We all have a sense of what is right and wrong. I have never fully accepted myself completely because I have the mentality that I should be better than I currently am. If this is in the bible, show me. But as I search, I find scripture after scripture saying to do it all with your whole heart and for God’s glory. It doesn’t say do it better. It says give it your all. Better is the mentality that you are not good enough or ever will be because there is more. Giving it your all is the mentality to do your best. I have a feeling this is going to be a life lesson….

*Th devotional I was reading was from She Reads Truth (www.shereadstruth.com)

What is strength?

When you hear the word strength, what is the first initial picture that comes to mind? Is it a weight lifter of 300+ pounds competition? Or maybe it is someone you know who you would say is a strong person. Do you feel strong when you hold it together during times of a family tragedy? Or did you see a firefighter risk their life to save another? Strength can mean numerous things to different people.

Through this past year, I have been intentionally on a process that will continue for the rest of my life of growing. It is a way of life to never let it pass me by, but always change in order to grow, thus helping others to grow as well. I like to compare it to a flower. If the flower is not growing, its dying or dead. A life with no growth stays still forever.

Where does this strength come from? Like a growing flower, it must be developed over time. Did you cringe like I have over the thought of a process or something needing time? We all want things right away, but don't let me lose your attention. It is in the times of growing that things are developed, made new, and produced. It is in the hard, pressing process where you character is being formed, and a life of strength is the result.

Strength is developed in the ordinary. Strength is developed by the way you treat people, by what you let in through your eyes, ears, and mouth. It is forming by what you watch, hear, and say. A person of strength is one who stays the same in all circumstances. It is how you treat the person you deem unlovable, the way you are predictable therefore accountable, to be counted on by others. A life of strength takes daily discipline and it is not afraid to start over the next day, week, or year.

The evidence, fruit, of strength is character, what others see. Strength is letting go of who you are in order to embrace who you are becoming. It's waking up every morning & starting over if you have to. It's being armed, prepared, and worthy of it.

Don't Be Afraid to Dream Bigger

Tonight I was knowledgeably encouraged by a friend, "Don't be afraid to dream bigger." An hour and a half later with questions asked, dreams began to resurface. I am a believer in being a dreamer and doing something about it, and at times, sometimes the dreamer even needs to be reminded.

If money was not a factor, would you live where you live now or somewhere different. Who has seen the movie, "You've Got Mail?" I have always pictured myself living in one of those apartments, up high in your own space, but always withing walking distance to a coffee shop and bookstore. Something that looks like this...

It's perfect.

What kind of house would you live in?

My own nook with the sun streaming in, laptop in lap, writing away. I dare you to dream bigger, darling. Never set limits for yourself when there is a whole BIG world out there.

Have my own book published and sign it for my thousands of readers

New York City Trip

The must sees:

~Central Park

~Statue of Liberty

~Time Square

~Museum of Modern Art

~Staten Island Ferry ride

~NY Public Library

Where will you go? What will you do?

But

Everyday of my life, I feel unworthy. But God! He calls me worthy. He says I can do all things through Himself as He strengthens me. He says He has plans and a purpose for me! He prospers me and gives me a hope, one that cannot be denied! He says I do not comprehend what He is doing now, but I will! He declares me fearfully and wonderfully made, and already made my days even before I existed. He has precious thoughts of me, too many to count. Darkness is like Light to Him and my darkness never phases Him, but I boldly approach Him just as I am, offering my heart to my Jesus daily. He knows me better than I know myself and is always with me, whether in daily tasks, adventures, sleeping or rising. His very being is Love and He says He loves me with an everlasting love.

Good ahead. Add your name to this story. This is for you, too.

Captivate Confidence

Confidence is necessary. That is the one thing I always have to be conscience of and work on. It shows itself as a giant in many different forms. Almost daily, I question purpose and belonging in this world. I ask myself numerous times if what I am doing is beneficial, stealing the joy of the enjoyed moment previously. Do I rest at this moment or strive for better and excellence? Is it a balance or is it best to try to enjoy life in every moment. To find rest in the chaos and busyness.

I am currently reading the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge for the third time and it only gets better and better. In the 8th chapter, the writer talks about being a woman who's heart is at rest. Beauty flows from a heart at rest because it is inviting to others to rest. A woman who strives and a woman at rest is compared. Perhaps all the effort is to know that what I do matters and that I am an asset to this world, making a difference, and mattering. God says in the Word that He has give us a sound mind and a sound heart. "A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones." (Proverbs. 14:30) A sound mind is one that is well-balanced, free from fear, doubt, cowardice, and is calm. "God has given us a sound mind: The Greek word here has the idea of a calm, self-controlled mind, in contrast to the panic and confusion that rushes in on us when we are in a fearful situation." (biblegateway.org; David Gusik commentary). I may not have all the answers I ask, but I know God's desire is for us is to live calmly in our minds, never in confusion, and fear.

Can you relate? The battlefield is in the mind and it's up to you to fill your mind with what is positive and true. Whatever we think, we become.

A christian who yells at God?

Maybe not letting someone go so quickly is an act of love. And it is rare. It means the person is not giving up on the other person in one conversation. What if all the things that are not adding up are subtracting the things that need to be left behind? I would rather know I was chased after than easily released. I am a Christian and sometimes I yell at God. I tell Him if He doesn’t show up that I will give up on it all, as He gives me the breath to speak those words. The word is described as milk and meat. At first I was given milk, easy, simple answers and this and that, but somewhere on the journey of this wandering heart of a woman, I was given meat and noticed the instant it was hard to chew. I was surprised to have meat, something more effort-filled and time consuming. I will not have all the answers of a song rings in my head, and my flesh despises dependency while my heart rejoices in having the One to depend upon. Life is messy, and my pillow is soaked in frustrated tears and my comforter has been pounded by fists in a fit. Raw transparent words etched by keyboard fills your screen and I can’t help but pray that these words change your life. A bold statement from a Christian who yells at God. Irony has it yelling to God to show up when all along you must already have believed He is there to be addressing Him.

The Time Between

There once lived a young woman about twenty five years old who lived with two roommates in a little town home. She dreamed of times in the future, of a huge home with a fireplace, children all around and a husband to marry. She daydreamed about cooking dinner, making crafts, and shopping for parties she would host in her own house. She loved dreaming, but sometimes forgot about the present time. She was so busy thinking of what she wanted that she forgot about the time between. She forgot about the present singleness and dreaded being alone, especially on a Friday night. She was haunted by words like loser and reject. She often felt like her life was a puzzle missing pieces that she couldn’t find to finish the masterpiece. She hunted for the pieces, such as the piece of a husband, a piece of the perfect career, a piece that was money and all the thing she wanted. She couldn’t see the big picture, but what she focused on was all the missing pieces her heart longed for to be filled, to fit just right. She lived each day frantically looking for the pieces to complete her dream, never seeing the little dreams along the way. If a piece did not look like she imagined in her mind, she subconsciously turned it over, and tossed it to the side, and continued on her hunt, forgetting about the pieces that crossed her path. She didn’t realize but she was on a dangerous road. Just because the piece did not look like the dream she thought up, perhaps what was given to her could be even better. She was the control of her own world, and she protected it too well. She held it so close that no one could see it and it or knew about it. Her narrow sight caused her to stumble along the way because she always was looking far ahead, instead of the next step in front of her own two feet. One night, the woman was feeling sorry for herself. All of her daydreaming was not coming true, and she was not sure how to reach each dream. She had no plans, and she was home alone. She couldn’t shake the thoughts of what she did not have and all that she wanted. A stranger once told her that when she was down, to always cheer someone else up. She sent a quick note to a friend that she had on her mind, an older woman who took care of her husband who is a quadriplegic. She let her know she was thinking of her and wished her well. In the midst of the message, she realized that feeling sorry for herself would only keep her down and does not bring any good to the world. She decided to stop feeling sorry for herself. Her dreams still existed, and there are still many things she wants to have for the future, but what are the little dreams she can fulfill along the way? What can she do now to bring joy and good to the world? I want to let you know that dreams are wonderful. Even magical and lovely to think about. I want to warn you to never waste the now, forgetting about the present, and forgetting to live. Who am I to say this advice? I am the woman in the story. It’s time to live now, and fulfill little dreams along the way. I am single and want to be married. I live in an apartment and long for my own home. I have no children, and can’t wait to have children and grandchildren. But I often forget the present which ultimately means I forget to live. What are the little dreams you can fulfill now along the way to the big dream? What if the little dreams make the big dreams? And what if there are dreams right in front of me but I have missed them because they are in a different box, a different color, or a different wrapping I was not expecting. It’s time to unwrap each gift every day. My prayer is for my eyes to be open to the dreams all around me, to see what has been waiting. Show me the little dreams along the way.

a whole new meaning

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not unto your own understanding" has become more real than ever before. Especially now in this season of not understanding. I honestly am thankful for scripture to become real to me. Sure, it doesn't feel good, but its not all about feeling. I have known plenty and I know what it means to be in need ( to a bigger extent more than before) and in the time that shall pass of greater need, I learn to see my God more clearly. He is right here with me, and I remind my soul of promises. His promises are truly what get me through the day. Thank you God for the need, so I can see you more clearly. Thank you for this time, because I am learning more about you more than ever before. You promise to never leave me, to never forsake me, to always care for me, and to provide with what I need. It'son the way, and thank you beforehand. By faith, I believe You. <3

"So draw me nearer Lord. Never let me go, closer to your heart, draw me nearer..." -Meredith Andrews song.

Trust and doors

The calls come in, attempts to help but only to find another dead end. She finds herself in tears as her perseverance is growing thin. She's real and she cries, but the tears recall a time in her life where she has known break through. She reminds herself that He is completely trustworthy and He will never fail her. "That call," she says, "is just another arrow pointing me in the right direction to solve this dilemma." And she thinks about how thankful she is to not go through the wrong door to her solution. Problems are meant to be solved and always are. She lies in bed, after the call, and prays all the worry in her heart out. Comfort covers her as she chooses to press on. She is a winner, a woman of strength, and sees her struggle will help another one day in the same predicament. "You've never failed and you won't start now," she sings in her little bedroom. Her dusty feet step on the stones of closed doors and continues on to the next knock. There is always solutions, so she continues to walk ahead in this fact. Do you find yourself in her shoes? Maybe you have done your part but you still don't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Think back to a time when you did see the light. Remember it's joy in having, the thankful heart you had to have that solution? Cling to it's warmth and know that solutions always come. They came once and they'll come again. In trials, that's what character and perseverance and strength is grown. Stay in your trial and you'll come out the other side with character, with strength, and a story that needs to be heard. And so, I go through my trials for you. I do not wish to be in them for me, but I press on for you, because one day, this will help you in yours. There is nothing better than being able to lend my heart to strengthen yours.

Emptied

The last couple of weeks have been different. As I am transitioning into a new job, I have had a lot of extra time. A girl who is used to working 40-50 hours dropped to 24 hours causing a big shake in my world. No more back pains from being on my feet for at least 8 hour shifts, no more constant fast paced environment, no more same routine, and no more comfortable.

And through it all, I learned more about myself. I found my satisfaction in staying busy and my job because I saw this when I was no longer in routine for the same thing I had done full time for the past year. I found myself wondering what I can do and struggling to think I had purpose being home. I felt lazy and unwanted because I wasn't constantly spinning my wheels. I learned that rest is not lazy and how to work through feelings of discouragement and depression and to trust God that He is with me and that through the change I saw my need for Him, Him providing, and His strength.

The extra time has been a bittersweet time. Sometimes me kicking and screaming. Other times with arms wide open to learn from my Heavenly Father. I can only say my prayers to be like Christ were answered in a way I never could have planned or expected. I have learned His ways are always best and better than what I can imagine. My satisfaction in life is not to come from things because they ultimately will let me down as they are temporary. Being busy can not be my god either because rest must come. It is always better to work smarter, not harder and productively, not constantly and busily.

Lord,

Thank you for this time of rest and change. I don't freely accept change typically but help me to when You have called me to it and such a time as this You have me exactly where I am to be. Thank you for showing me that I need you and I cant do life alone. Your way is always best. You have my heart alone. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

The door she left open.

That unexpected moment where a new smile walks in the door you forgot you left open. The smile comes back, knocking, asking if entering is permissible. Day in and day out, you keep the smile around, because somewhere between a cup of coffee and a conversation, a new smile is birthed. "You are happy all the time!" she says. "You glow," they say. The countenance of face has changed each day the smile came to the door, walked inside and stayed awhile. The new smile waits each day for the smile to come by. With time, may the smile never be taken for granted, but also returned.

You see, the door was not always open. Once there was a locked door, that remained tight for at least a decade. A stranger passed by, put their ear to the door, curious of what they would hear. All that was heard was the dripping of memories of fighting resistance, homes of despair, and hope without a home. Among the shadows, a smile desperately wanted to break through. Cries of hundreds of prayers danced among the walls. She knew the only escape of this prison was to unlock the door that entrapped, guarded, and slowly took lives. With bravery, and a shaking hand, she turned the key hole and let the light in. A small stream of light highlighted the room, unlocking the wired cage. Breath filled up the room, and hope engulfed every space. Darkness lost the battle. The key was forgotten and no one knows where it lays in dust.

With the battle won, the smiles share one another's light. When one smile needs, the other smile provides. In torrential down pour...in quiet nights, the light of the smile never goes out. She left the door open and the smile came in. Come and stay a while. The once dripping, dark, cold room is now warm. The resistance, despair and hopelessness replaced itself with welcoming arms of hope and invitation. A place to stay, a traveling stop. Invited is your smile through my door I forgot I left open.

Feeling alive

A moonlit walk in the forest with a friend, the first flight of a new pilot, a morning run on a quiet street, traveling to a foreign land. Depending on who you are, there are things that challenge you, scare you, excite you. Things may push you forward to actively strive to achieve your goals. Among the feelings, there are things that make you feel alive. It is in the moments that living awakens the soul and reminds you that it is all worth it and life is beautiful. Feeling alive quiets the chaos and refocuses the eye to see what matters at such a time as this. Feeling alive is what the world needs of you. Being fully alive and fully present means making memories. A mentor in life always says, “To have a great life, you must have great moments.” It begins with a great life simplified to a great year, down to a great month, a week, a day, and a finally a moment. It all begins at this very moment. You must plan ahead and prepare for a time to come, yet make the most of right now. Now is truly all you have. Close your eyes. Go on. Think of a place you love to go. I love going to a hilly, open field. I look as far as the eye can see, and twirl slowly to see every inch of it. I see the distant mountains that roll, I smell the enveloping grass all around me covering my feet. I hear the birds inviting me to fly, and my heart begins to stir. Within seconds, my calm heart begins to jump and the thought comes. “Ruuuuuuuuuuun!” and so I run. I run and I run and I laugh with joy. The grass cuts my feet, my dress rustles behind me, my hair flies all around. My breathing becomes heavy and I push harder. A hill to climb and I reach the top. I catch my breath, look around, and fall. I lay in the grass as it no longer covers my feet, but all of me. I feel alive as I am covered in grass, in dirt, in sweat, and tears of joy. I feel alive when I am in God’s nature because His presence covers me. I am alive when I know whose I am. I am alive when I see His love covers me. I hear a hilly, open field calling my name. “Come to Me.” and so I come. I come to be Loved by my First Love, my Father in Heaven who knows my Name and every hair on this head. He knows every doubt and worry, every freckle, and barrier. He calls me to Himself as His beloved daughter and I am alive. He breathed His breath into me and said, “Life I give to you!” I have loved you with an everlasting love. Though the grass withers, and time flies, His love will never run out, dry up, or fail me. And so I run to that open field to be covered.

(Taken at Chattooga Belle Farm, South Carolina)

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Samantha Waters