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imagine running into all might after he retires and he just straightens his back so he's full all might height he'd be like fucking slenderman

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'The Daily Show' and 'The Colbert Report' Staff to Compete In Celebrity Soccer Tournament

The Comedy Central companion shows are two of the 45 teams from the media scene competing in the annual NYFEST industry soccer tournament on Saturday.

The staffs of The Daily Show, The Colbert Report and John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight will be among the teams slated to face off at a celebrity soccer tournament this weekend as part of NYFEST.

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Looking dapper in a beige suit, Stephen Colbert was spotted filming a bit on the streets of New Orleans with the newly announced ‘The Late Show’ band leader Jon Batiste

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Stephen Colbert Weighs in on #LoveWins

Following the Supreme Court’s decision Friday that the Constitution guarantees all Americans the right to same-sex marriage, media coverage was abuzz with reaction to the landmark ruling. Social media erupted into a deluge of rainbow-colored updates and was trending with the hashtag #LoveWins. The White House was similarly lit up in celebration. Read More

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notthelastmagpie

So glad I have a religion now

notthelastmagpie

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i thought i nedded to post that

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for anyone who needs it too

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It’s in the middle of the night when Tony calls. Rhodey is half tempted not to answer, but. There’ve been a lot of close calls in the last few years, a constant reminder of the price tag that’s attached to the lives they lead. Besides he’s never been very good at saying no to Tony.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, because no one can expect him to be articulate at a 3:40am in the morning, damn it.

There’s no answer for the longest time. He’d have thought Tony had hung up on him, if not for the harsh sound of laboured breaths. Something is wrong, clearly, he thinks. Forcefully pushes aside the sluggish sleepiness.

“Tony?” he asks again, firmer. “Tones, what’s wrong?”

“Rhodey?” Tony whispers, like he’s surprised to hear his voice. He’s slurring, drunk, but that makes no sense. Tony hasn’t been drunk since he and Pepper broke up.

“Rhodey,” he says again, slowly, like he’s trying the name out for a fit.

He sounds–sad. There’s a hitch in his breath, something not quite a sob, a sound so painfully familiar Rhodey flinches. It brings back memories from a thin, sixteen year old boy who spoke too much and didn’t smile enough. Of too many nights spent pretending Rhodey couldn’t hear him crying himself to sleep, of all those times he’s watched Tony’s face fall, the times when he closed himself off until not even Rhodey could reach him.

“How- How do you make people like you?” Tony asks, soft and helpless and so young.

And Rhodey knows Tony must be drunk out of his mind, knows he’s often difficult and acerbic and impossible to get along with, but he doesn’t care. When it comes to Tony, he never did.

jonstewartfuckyeah

"I’d like to say I’m surprised by what happened to him, but I’m not. This is a cycle, and I feel that in some ways, the issue is that we’re addressing the wrong problem. We continue to make this about the police — the how of it. How can they police? Is it about sensitivity and de-escalation training and community policing? All that can make for a less-egregious relationship between the police and people of color. But the how isn’t as important as the why, which we never address. The police are a reflection of a society. They’re not a rogue alien organization that came down to torment the black community. They’re enforcing segregation. Segregation is legally over, but it never ended. The police are, in some respects, a border patrol, and they patrol the border between the two Americas. We have that so that the rest of us don’t have to deal with it. Then that situation erupts, and we express our shock and indignation. But if we don’t address the anguish of a people, the pain of being a people who built this country through forced labor — people say, ‘‘I’m tired of everything being about race.’’ Well, imagine how [expletive] exhausting it is to live that."

Police brutality is an organic offshoot of the dehumanization of those power structures. There are always going to be consequences of authority. When you give someone a badge and a gun, that’s going to create its own issues, and there’s no question that those issues can be addressed with greater accountability. It can be true that you can value and admire the contribution and sacrifice that it takes to be a law-enforcement officer or an emergency medical worker in this country and yet still feel that there should be standards and accountability. Both can be true. But I still believe that the root of this problem is the society that we’ve created that contains this schism, and we don’t deal with it, because we’ve outsourced our accountability to the police.

"Look, every advancement toward equality has come with the spilling of blood. Then, when that’s over, a defensiveness from the group that had been doing the oppressing. There’s always this begrudging sense that black people are being granted something, when it’s white people’s lack of being able to live up to the defining words of the birth of the country that is the problem. There’s a lack of recognition of the difference in our system. Chris Rock used to do a great bit: ‘‘No white person wants to change places with a black person. They don’t even want to exchange places with me, and I’m rich.’’ It’s true. There’s not a white person out there who would want to be treated like even a successful black person in this country. And if we don’t address the why of that treatment, the how is just window dressing. You know, we’re in a bizarre time of quarantine. White people lasted six weeks and then stormed a state building with rifles, shouting: ‘‘Give me liberty! This is causing economic distress! I’m not going to wear a mask, because that’s tyranny!’’ That’s six weeks versus 400 years of quarantining a race of people. The policing is an issue, but it’s the least of it. We use the police as surrogates to quarantine these racial and economic inequalities so that we don’t have to deal with them."

" I’m old enough to have heard a lot of speeches and old enough to be dubious about our ability to overcome our defensiveness about racism. That doesn’t mean that we can’t be the generation to dismantle structural racism for good, but it takes effort. Imagine the anguish of living in a country that profited off the forced labor of your ancestors, and is still having this conversation: ‘‘Hey, do you think we should fly the flag of the people that fought to enslave your ancestors? What do you guys think of that? Good idea or bad idea?’’ And then you hear, ‘‘It’s history.’’ It’s not history! It’s hagiography. If you go down there and read the plaques on the Confederate monuments, they aren’t, ‘‘This [expletive] thought he could enslave people based on the color of their skin.’’ That’s not what the plaque says. The plaque honors them! Enraging doesn’t begin to describe it."

- Jon talking about George Floyd, the black lives matter protests, police brutality and systemic racism in his article with the New York Times (X)

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We mourn. We remember. We stand with the LGBTQ community against hate and violence.

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Stephen Colbert pens hilarious and important feminist op-ed

Who runs the world? If Stephen Colbert could have his way: women. In an op-ed for Glamour magazine, the future Late Show host pushes for equal rights and treatment of women in the workplace and the media, all while mixing in a healthy dose of humor. But despite the hilarious jokes, his extended quotes make some incredibly crucial points.

notthelastmagpie

oh my god

pandaroboto

“He was tracing an arc on the table with his fingers and speaking with such deliberation and care. “I was left alone a lot after Dad and the boys died…. And it was just me and Mom for a long time,” he said. “And by her example am I not bitter. By her example. She was not. Broken, yes. Bitter, no.” Maybe, he said, she had to be that for him. He has said this before—that even in those days of unremitting grief, she drew on her faith that the only way to not be swallowed by sorrow, to in fact recognize that our sorrow is inseparable from our joy, is to always understand our suffering, ourselves, in the light of eternity. What is this in the light of eternity? Imagine being a parent so filled with your own pain, and yet still being able to pass that on to your son. “It was a very healthy reciprocal acceptance of suffering,” he said. “Which does not mean being defeated by suffering. Acceptance is not defeat. Acceptance is just awareness.” He smiled in anticipation of the callback: “ ‘You gotta learn to love the bomb,’ ” he said. “Boy, did I have a bomb when I was 10. That was quite an explosion. And I learned to love it. So that’s why. Maybe, I don’t know. That might be why you don’t see me as someone angry and working out my demons onstage. It’s that I love the thing that I most wish had not happened.” I love the thing that I most wish had not happened. I asked him if he could help me understand that better, and he described a letter from Tolkien in response to a priest who had questioned whether Tolkien’s mythos was sufficiently doctrinaire, since it treated death not as a punishment for the sin of the fall but as a gift. “Tolkien says, in a letter back: ‘What punishments of God are not gifts?’ ” Colbert knocked his knuckles on the table. “ ‘What punishments of God are not gifts?’ ” he said again. His eyes were filled with tears. “So it would be ungrateful not to take everything with gratitude. It doesn’t mean you want it. I can hold both of those ideas in my head.”He was 35, he said, before he could really feel the truth of that. He was walking down the street, and it “stopped me dead. I went, ‘Oh, I’m grateful. Oh, I feel terrible.’ I felt so guilty to be grateful. But I knew it was true. “It’s not the same thing as wanting it to have happened,” he said. “But you can’t change everything about the world. You certainly can’t change things that have already happened.”

—

From GQ’s 2015 profile of Stephen Colbert.

Every once in a while I come back to this. It’s really so breathtaking.

(via sadfilmstudent)