January 28 2024
im sort of back??
it's been. few years. I am 27 years old. hello Tumblr, old pal!
just need a space to type up some thoughts on an online platform is really what is happening here.
I relapsed hard the past 4 years, got clean on February 14th 2022. relapsed again on may 20th of last year. meaning it's been 8 whole months of being clean. but feb 14 is actually when my boyfriend and I decided we weren't gonna be homeless with the cat in the car.
crazy shit broh.
what boyfriend? my boyfriend. the one that broke my heart are tried to put back the pieces he shattered. I still have a lot of insecurities and unhappiness but he really does love me and is totally here and present. listens to my problems, asks about my day, respects me, buys me shit and I do the same (as I always have... ahem... lol) but the reciprocation is all I could ever ask for. and yes. we were both homeless in the car with my cat after getting kicked out of my old spot, then getting evicted and fucking our credit up bc we were strung out and stupid after that... homeless.
after month 5 of the 10 months of homelessness, we decided to get clean and get our shit together. which we managed while still homeless. AGAIN.
as of October, not homeless. happy. we both are clean. we both work full time. the cat is happy and healthy. we did move 30 min away from all the bullshit and gateways. had to. drugs are too easy when you run into people on every corner that you know.
we did a huge dopamine detox and it was fucking hell. getting sober, abusive family, cops, getting robbed, resetting our circles, so much shit I cannot even delve into because I'm so far past that.
but I can say I am happy and doing well. gained weight WHICH I HATE, but im happy.
Working on that part.
anyways, I feel explosive with ideas. I want to start a beanie/sock business, I want to make music, I want to make websites and do graphic design, I want to do SO MUCH but I literally cannot achieve all of this.
my old boss hired me back and fuck she has been my absolute fairy godmother.
I had a sponsor but kinda let go of that. she kind of feels like my sponsor, although I need one that has the time to speak to me.
