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@jujuphonehome
Here at fuck you I’m going to kill you company, we care
elon musk and x
I refuse to believe Jax was nice even before Ribbit abstracted
my pregdeiweek day 1
pregdei week day 1: dry humpingpass: 18+ yes or no
merry christmas
reposting from bsky, but heres a cheat sheet for how to properly send a message to payment processing companies over the recent highly conservative shift in where youre allowed to legally spend your money
more info here!
if you feel just like i feel (PUSH PEOPLE)
Eret in my 2010s modern au
we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!
You'd unfollow me for my pitcher plant pussy post? After the beautiful night we shared???
WASNT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT. PESIS IS GONE.
at times when the world's wretchedness threatens to overwhelm, i remind myself firmly that despite all else, it is within my power to go to the chinese grocery store frozen section and buy an utterly enormous bag of dumplings. and that helps
there are several ways to cook frozen dumplings but i will direct you on the best way:
heat small amount of oil in pot on med-high heat. add dumplings, cook 2 min until bottoms are golden crispy
add half-inch of water. cover pot, cook 7 min
drain water and cook 2 min until bottoms are again crispy
CONSUME
in the darkest of times happiness comes in moments of joy we claw out of the jaws of the mighty. and sometimes that means dumplings
you can domesticate one animal species of your choosing, which do you pick and why? explain your reasoning
things I've learned from this post
we act like this site is full of weirdos but actually most of us are basic bitches. 90% of you went with cheetahs, bears, crows, raccoons, hyenas etc
though i was surprised at how quickly moose became a frontrunner
none of you can follow instructions, i specifically said explain your reasoning
the exception being the many, many people who want to weaponize a swarm of ants/termites/wasps/insects with which to attack their enemies. (also bats and crows, for similar purposes.) where are you people getting all these enemies that need swarming. this is not an ethical use of swarms. swarms have rights. commit your own violence
the one wrong answer was the person who said canadian geese, as if they wouldn't turn on us in a hot minute. Jurassic Park situation in the making. they would unionize and start carpet-bombing jet engines on purpose. would bring commercial air travel to its knees overnight. do NOT teach geese new skills, so help me
shout out to that one person who said wolves. buddy i have some fantastic news
a lot of you just want to ride a crocodile/alligator. i worry this would not be comfortable for the crocodile/gator in question. that being said i would love to rub a crocodile's tummy
in conclusion, i would domesticate octopodes and train them to install & perform maintenance on underwater communications cables. also general underwater welding. they have the intelligence to perform complex tasks and honestly i think they'd enjoy it. i would also deploy an elite octopus fleet to sabotage oil rigs.
(my one concern is they would be recruited by the CIA for espionage purposes. given that dolphins, sea lions, belugas etc are already regularly pressed into military service by the U.S./Russian Military, this is a serious concern.)
i can't get over how evil it is that "gap in your resume" is considered a valid reason to not hire someone like "hmmm sorry you weren't working constantly every day of your life we need people who do nothing but work until they drop dead for us we just don't think you're right for the job" fuck youuuu
@stonesandswords I hope it’s okay if I add your tags?
Do any of u have decent recipes that are like 5 ingredients (not including spices) and take 45 mins or less to prepare i gotta stop eating sandwiches for dinner
yeah hang on
ignore the title of this google doc because it's a long story but it's a really solid recipe for southwest chicken alfredo
this is a vegetarian potato curry recipe that's about 75% spices; once you get the potatoes in there you can really do whatever you want with it
this is literally just pasta, broccoli, and cheese babey and you can live off that shit for DAYS it makes such a big portion
bro this spinach/pesto/3 cheese flatbread is so fucking tasty bro
also you can make the flatbread yourself it's super quick!!
oh hey I'm eating this white chickpea chili right now, much like the curry it's mostly spices and you can do p much do whatever you want with it
don't let the name fool you these potatoes are delicious any time. not just breakfast.
this is slightly more than five ingredient when you add them together but if you have time and really wanna fuckin treat yourself I recommend these chicken strips + this cornbread + either these potatoes or these buttered veggies on the side.
These are my two favorite comfort foods. They're very easy to make and dont take long to cook.
Garlic butter rice
Orzo mac and cheese (comes out a little bit soupy)
this recipe for gogumabap (sweet potato and rice) saved my life when i couldn't eat hardly anything for a long time. the recipe itself calls for a heavy bottomed pot but you can absolutely use a rice cooker and put the rice and diced sweet potato in together and just let the machine do its thing
Time for me to beat my little clown drum again for Indian-ish by Priya Krishna, aka The Easiest Recipes I Have Ever Fucking Made. Dal that takes 15 minutes. Easy aloo gobhi. Easy saag feta. Buy. Cook. Eat.
I've made steak tacos/quesadillas (depends on what you want to call them) that is very simple and easy.
Just marinate sliced/diced steak in teriyaki sauce for at least 30 minutes, cook the steak to your preference, and add it to a tortilla with any fixins you like. I usually use cheese (duh), sour cream, grilled onions (that I grill with the steak), and some garlic aioli when I'm feeling fancy. You can also season how you want, I just don't tend to since the teriyaki is flavorful enough on it's own and I don't like too much flavor at once if I can help it. I also like to reduce the left over teriyaki sauce/steak juice into a thicker sauce to add to the taco.
You also don't need it to be steak, it can be anything really. Chicken, pork, tofu, mushrooms... the possibilities are endless. I've made it with shredded chicken for my mom, since she doesn't like steak.
I hate the met galla. None of those people are important to me. My horsey is important to me.
Bang 💥
Once I "made" a custom emoji for my mum by crudely drawing a hijab on it and now whenever she wants me to buy a coffee for her I get a text like this
hey guys! magma.. is kinda cool. i like art jams :3 and mydei. apparently. (y'all could possibly just see me around!! under the same name and.. the milk man.)
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