lost in the cosmos, lonely

my mental health blog | main: @juliamccartney

[anigitli]

it bothers me so much when "mental health advocates" are only supportive of the "acceptable" symptoms and disorders...

people who "advocate" for depression but call others disgusting for having trouble showering, or people who "advocate" for trauma survivors but say you shouldnt express your trauma in art or talk about it because its "triggering"...

people who "advocate" for BPD but demonize NPD and ASPD as if they arent in the same cluster...

people "support mental health" until it isnt relatable. people "support mental health" until it cant be romanticized. people "support mental health" until symptoms disrupt life. people "support mental health" until symptoms are noticeable and not easily hidden.

you are not an advocate if you do not advocate for us all. you cannot be a mental health advocate while also talking badly about people with personality disorders, including ASPD and NPD. you cannot be a mental health advocate if you make fun of autistic people who are visibly autistic. you cannot be a mental health advocate if you call the police on someone with psychosis for talking to themselves in public.

if your entire "advocacy" revolves around demonizing more "severe" symptoms or disorders, and romanticizing the "good" and "relatable" symptoms or disorders, you are not an ally. you are feeding into stereotypes.

i have ASPD and NPD. the amount of hate i see in "advocate" spaces is honestly shocking. if your entire advocacy revolves around "helping depressed autistics escape evil narcissists!!!!", you are not an advocate, you are ableist.

people with stigmatized disorders or symptoms should not have to water down the way they experience life and describe their personal symptoms and experiences just to avoid being called bad people. by demonizing some disorders while romanticizing others under the guise of "advocacy", you are spreading misinformation and reinforcing stereotypes. you are worsening the stigma for people who already struggle. you are harming everyone with struggles, because a lot of society does not see a difference of "good" vs "bad" mental illness. to ableist neurotypicals, we are all bad.

you hurt the entire community by excluding your own.

you advocate for all of us, or you help none of us.

[aspiring-apparition]

(I bring a sort of “Everyone has inherent worth regardless of their productivity” Vibe to every conversation that ableists don’t really seem to like)

[twisted-rat-king]

so sick of seeing "their poor parents" in regards to someone who is delusional, psychotic, or otherwise "not normal." any time the topic comes up, someone's there to drop that steaming pile of shit. i promise you, the caretakers aren't suffering half as much as the person they're caring for. but nobody talks about that part.

[sunderingstars]

ocd is literally just having a guy in your head that torments you with false prophecies & visions

[horaitos]

sometimes mental illness does make you act like a piece of shit. when my ocd was undiagnosed a couple years back I was absolutely insufferable because I could not control my confession/reassurance and rumination compulsions at all and I fucking hated myself so everything had to be morally pure or I would spiral and I made myself believe and said some things that made my personality not the best. sometimes healing means knowing that you are not perfect. sometimes mental health issues make people act awful and that does not give you the right to demonize and dehumanize them or the disorder. yes even that disorder. and sometimes you have to forgive yourself for the bad things you believed. you are not perfect and that is a good thing.

[autopsyfreak]

my anhedonia is eating me alive so i’m making these mental illness memes to cope

[strangestcase]

I think people would armchair diagnose bad people with cluster B disorders much less if psychiatric disorders hadn't all been given names by ableists who of course picked the traits most unberarable to "sane" people to name them rather than, you know, the ways it affects the people that have them. It's like, when doctors are all "this disorder gives you extremely low self esteem. and it's called the Selfish Fucking Asshole Disorder" or "this disorder makes you want to die so bad. and it's called the Hysteric Bitch Disorder" or "this disorder disconnects you from your peers. and it's called the Insane Evil Cunt Disorder" and so on and so forth, so of course you have people going "oh, this person is a selfish fucking asshole, they MUST have Selfish Fucking Asshole Disorder! this further proves that all people with this disorder are like that in the first place!" Do You See It

[strangestcase]

Enabling reblogs again due to popular request. But for the love of goth. behave

[charmstrangebeauty]

Also relevant:

“Oh you can’t have Selfish Fucking Asshole Disorder because you don’t act like a Selfish Fucking Asshole - therefore you clearly just want attention and are harming all the people who actually have Selfish Fucking Asshole Disorder by pretending to have this disorder”

“I’ve been diagnosed with Selfish Fucking Asshole Disorder so I guess I’m a Selfish Fucking Asshole and everyone will hate me forever, a belief which is super good for my mental health and also for treating Selfish Fucking Asshole Disorder”

[love-me-love-my-weirdness]

“Don’t let your disorder define you”

Okay but do you support the people whose disorders do define them?

Do you support people with the chronic illnesses who have had to develop whole lives around their conditions? Do you support the intellectually disabled people whose whole way of thinking is defined by their disorder? Do you support the people with personality disorders who literally have a disorder as a personality? Do you support the autism/ADHD people whose disorder you can’t separate from who they are? Do you support the DIDOSDD people who have multiple definitions of themselves because of their disorder?

Or are you just saying that because a disorder defining someone means you can’t ignore it.

[dilemmadanger]

this‼️

[juliamccartney]

mind readers would go berserk trying to keep up with my thoughts bc my brain randomly switches between channels every 5 seconds and always has at least one song playing in the background at full volume

[collectivewarmth]

one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.

[personaglitch]

"Self insert characters are cringe"

Bro I'm trying to survive capitalism with maladaptive daydreaming. Leave me alone.

[aranock]

Fucking begging supposedly leftist people to stop being sanist while trying to advocate for marginalized groups or talking about politics. Being bigoted in one way isnt helping combat other forms of bigotry or helping you to fight against fascism and other harmful ideologies. For example, when you call all transphobes/terfs etc "insane/crazy/psycho" etc you are not helping me as a mentally ill trans woman, you are just being bigoted to me in a different way. You are also validating the sanism that a lot of those exact people believe in.

Viewing bigotry, hate, terrible ideology and all things you deem bad in the world as synonimous with people like me is just hatred. You are part of the problem. Using denigrating terms for people like me as equivalent to those persecuting me is not fucking helpful.

Y'all can understand how someone who calls everything they view as bad "gay" is homophobic but then can't seem to piece together that calling everything you view as bad "crazy/insane etc" is sanism. Hint if you view a marginalized group as synonimous with everything wrong in the world you're a bigot too.

I am just so so so sick of how obvious it is that most of you see people like me as the embodiment of evil. You need to accept that sane people like you are just as capable of terrible acts and beliefs, above and beyond that you are going to have to reconcile with the reality that the vast VAST VAST majority of bigots are "sane" like you. That the vast majority of violence done in this world is done by sane people. I get that sanism is your emotional support bigotry that helps you sleep at night, because you get to Sit there going "I cant do and believe terrible things, I'm not "insane" like those bigots and fascists. I have the essentially good brain, unlike these evil bad brain people." but from where I'm standing your sanism is dangerous to me just like the people you're incorrectly calling crazy are, and you need to take a long look in the mirror and start deconstructing that. Because until you do, you are no ally, accomplice, or safe person for me. Big fucking hint those people you are decrying hate people like me and say the same shit about everyone they dislike that you do. Centrists and neoliberals and bigots and conservatives and fascists are not terrible because they're insane or crazy or whatever diagnosis term you're incorrectly throwing around this week, they are terrible because of their beliefs and because of how they seize and use power.

If you have ever agreed with something I've said you have agreed with a crazy person. If that sentence makes you uncomfortable or squeamish you need to unpack where that comes from or you are going to keep hurting marginalized people like me.

Just thoughts from one of those scary insane people you spend so much time ostracizing and demonizing.

[engulfes]

Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do

[existentialdruid]

This

[jelliebeanbitch]

there are more tweets in this thread

fucking SLAY

[darlington-v]

this isnt even the full thread, there are even MORE tweets to this thread that i think are really necessary to read if you do what op is talking about! it is not enough to know that feeling this way hurts the people you love, we already know that.

this rest of the thread continues after the third tweet from the reblog.

like THE FULL THREAD is genuinely so reassuring.

sometimes, it is not enough to just know, sometimes you might need that reassurance of "do you really think of me when i'm away?" and someone reassuring you that yeah, they do. and evaluate that! trust that! just like op did.

and then learning that ykw, it's NOT any of my business really. and finding comfort in that trust that like. whether they are or aren't thinking of me, they really do love me.

this full thread changed my life and i am ALWAYS going to give the full thread because the parts people cut out aren't enough for the people experiencing these things, speaking as someone who does. it, really it just makes us, made me, feel bad about my own capabilities when i saw the unfinished thread.

[snakeautistic]

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

[the-madday]

[madderthanmadd]

professionals who have researched ways to deal with various mental illnesses: if you practice these few mild activities every day, they could help your recovery, as shown by the patients we have surveyed

y’all on this site: what the fuck is this neurotypical blasphemy? REAL mentally ill people know that you're never going to get better and you're doomed to be miserable the rest of your life. anyways here's a post with "support mentally ill people who are jerks" against a pastel pink background