Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
wallacepolsom
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Keni
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ellievsbear
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@jumbledjuniper
to be understood is to be known
to be known is to be heard
and to love is to understand
My ghost is my legacy
My pain now is ours
Though I’ve been reduced to a film pasted on your reflection,
a bleeding stain permeating your consciousness-
the halls of life we now walk together,
forever intertwined
Love, Juniper
here you are once more in my life in my home like a surprise houseguest let in by my company some who'd sooner freeze with you on the curb then not answer that door and others who for me feared your presence but knew of its inevitability nevertheless here you are once more again welcome in my home, eating off the very plates you used to smash spreading around those same spills you swore you'd now clean and praising my wine you once bitterly refused but nevertheless here you are once more comfortable in my home in a way you never left for these walls teem with memories memories I have painstakingly tried to scrub off and regardless remain like a thick film surrounding me but nevertheless here you are once more now a new regular in my home
Love, Juniper
when all that’s bad is so intoxicating
how will i learn to love what’s good for me?
Love, Juniper
I wonder if you still think of me
or even if you ever did think of me
not because I want to be thinking of you
but thinking I might not deserve to be remembered is too much to bear
Love, Juniper
how ignorant was i to believe that you could fix the problem you created
when in reality the only problem created was you
Love, Juniper
alone-
it feels better that way
but for all the wrong reasons
Love, Juniper
you don’t know how many times i have wanted to text you drunk
home much i have wanted to hear your voice
how much i have wanted to feel you in me once more
but now you are just a memory
and as that you must sadly remain
Love, Juniper
I want to feel
I want to trust
I want to love…
Love, Juniper
I claw my way out
grasping at broken fragments of myself
now almost too small to hold
your thorns surround me
tearing off chunks of infected flesh
bearing those unmistakable scars of afflicted agony
the more I struggle
the more my throat yearns for your smoke
the more my muscles beg for your beating
the more my mouth craves your poison
always caught in you
and through you
and without you
when will my fight pay off
Love, Juniper
why does expectation make us do so much
but comfort so little
Love, Juniper
our souls intertwine
if only for this moment
for the world doesn’t exist outside of us
until it must
Love, Juniper
love me recklessly
crash your car of emotion into my soul
love me blindly
let my warmth be your sight
love me fully
as if i were the last safe place on earth
Love, Juniper
all i long for is that which i’ve never felt
but have still lost
Love, Juniper
your hand grazes my shoulder
your eyes meet my gaze
and my heart skips a beat
but an illusion it all was
your hand knew not where it was
your eyes knew not what they saw
and your heart stays forever cold
even to the warm embrace of my love
Love, Juniper
if life is my drug,
how will I ever get sober…
Love, Juniper
consume me,
for either way there’ll be none of me left
Love, Juniper