my team and i gathered all the data we could get our hands on and spent countless hours doing analysis. we dove into it. we crunched the numbers. we really dove in deep. we looked at a computer. we did research on an cutting-edge new algorithm that many are saying could cut through all the noise and expose the signal. the meat of the data. our golden goose meat. data goose egg. but it was very complicated and we weren't able to figure out all the vector math stuff. undeterred we pressed on. we dove even deeper. we kept crunching the numbers again and again until they were super super crunched up. like a very fine silt. i got my hands in there and started digging around. my hands got dirty really quick and it felt gross so i washed them off in the sink and put some gloves on and got back to digging around in there. i dug around good and hard. i probably should've been wearing an n95 mask. lots of very fine particles were getting in the air as i was digging. i was digging around so hard and with so much force and going so fast. i was using my feet too to dig around also, like a second pair of hands. i was kicking up big clouds of dust and doing spins through them and jumping up and down. i rearranged the lab equipment to allow me to execute many standard parkour maneuvers, as well as some more advanced ones too. i was really digging around in there. i dont have any memory of the next 48 hours.
that's when it all clicked.
one thing stood out to me in particular.
like a shiny golden meat goose, there it was.
a "schedule alignment". that's what they call it. between you and i, of all people. on a thursday, no less. this thursday, bewilderingly. on our planet. our beautiful planet which lives in space.
it's a phenomenon so extraordinary and rare that it has even been known to sometimes not occur.
i didn't believe my eyes at first. but then i decided to believe them, and now i do.
this could be huge. this could be truly huge for you and i. this discovery could bring about massive shifts in how events play out for us on thursday. hanging out could most certainly be in the cards. and the cards are on the table, just waiting to be dealt. dreaming of the graceful touch of the dealer's hand. we don't have to play a card game though, we could hang and do anything else that we want to do.
we could go to the DMV. not to like renew anything or whatever, just to check out the building. admire the architecture y'know. we could get some great drone shots with my drone. we could go to all the yard sales in town and see who can buy the most old tangled up knots of obscure cords that nobody has any idea what they're for or even has any memory of ever using them. and the rule is you have to barter using the DMV drone shots. you cant use money at all. after we untangle all the cords we can determine the winner by who has the greatest total length of cord. the winner's prize is that they get to do some shibari shit on the other one, using as many of the cords they want.
then we should probably start thinking about getting to the airport because i got us tickets to Paris. we wanna make sure we get there at least 5 minutes before the flight leaves because security can sometimes take long. sometimes people try to bring bombs on the plane and they don't know that you're not allowed to bring bombs even if you promise not to explode them all on the plane. you can try to tell them that you wanna go explode them somewhere totally else, not even near the airport. but they don't care and they dont listen. they go so crazy about these stupid little rules.
the one of us that got tied up with the yard sale cords will have to stay tied up with the cords for the full duration of the flight and the 14 week Paris trip itself. i checked the handbook and TSA has no rule that says you cant be tied up all crazy with all different kinds of weird old cords. which is surprising, but a fantastic win for us and our plan.
once we're in Paris we can see if there's any stores that sell big loaves of bread. and if we have any DMV drone shots left we can see if they'll accept those as payment for the bread loaf. i suspect those shots will be a huge hit in Paris because they don't even have the DMV over there. they have some French thing instead, of course. they're like obsessed with making all their stuff into like a special French version of the stuff instead of just having normal stuff.
after we get the bread we can find a nice secluded spot, like maybe crawl up into some HVAC vents, or whatever the French equivalent of that is, and have ourselves a picnic. i was thinking we could do that thing the dogs did in that cartoon where we both start eating the bread from opposite sides and then meet in the middle and fall deeply in love. which could be huge.
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