sometimes being who I am stresses me out
especially latelyĀ
when the people around me resist
or have harder troubles communicatingĀ
than I do
than I did
Being here and feeling as though I donāt have a direction
is unsettling and unnerving.Ā
There are places I want to be
yet truthfully those are the places I want to be
with someone else
There are things I want to do
feelings I want to feel
yet I find myself stranded here
by choice
by divinity
struggling with my feelings
struggling with my perception
For me, the hardest thing aboutĀ āhigher consciousnessā and positivity is not being surrounded by other like minded individuals. Perhaps I can seek them out, join groups, join clubs, or something like that. When I think of doing these things I feel a sort of exhaustion within me. An exhaustion that says,Ā āHey man? I donāt want to put effort into yet another thing only to feel like I am still grasping at invisible strings.ā Being who I am, I love who I am, but it is lonely. It is lonesome. It is frustrating trying to be heard in a world which thinks little of it. It is frustrating living in a world where others have been silenced so many times before so they donāt bother speaking up about their feelings until itās time to create friction.Ā
I am frustrated being here. Sometimes, I am frustrated being alive. Itās not as if I imagine offing myself, but more like I imagine myself just not existing in the world I have around me today. Constantly I feel displaced and every time I try to find my place, decide my place, and seek my place out there is resistance from someone else telling me Iām not allowed to do that. Fuck you. Support me.Ā
The only reason I would want to have a kid or be a teacher is to teach these kids how to use their voices and how to LISTEN to other peopleās voices. I would teach them how to set themselves aside to see the other person, yet still stand up for who they are and their feelings. These things are so important through life and not enough people possess these skills. Not the people around me, anyway, and sometimes not even myself.Ā
I want to disappear and find myself in a world where I am brought in with open arms. I am so tired of being a symbol of change and bringing change wherever I go, only to create a hatred from the people I bloom around. I am following my path and I am following the instinct and voice inside of me and itās like no one wants to see that. No one wants to embrace it. No one wants to embrace me.Ā
And that. That right there, thatās what keeps me circling around this god forsaken town. The lack of being embraced and heard here in the physical. I can only take so much and Iāve been saying this for years.Ā
I need a place where I can feel like I belong. Where I DO belong.Ā
andulkaphoto
dailybridgerton
titsay
kaledo-art
prguitarman
germansingergirl
