warnings: none/my attempt to write cute
a/n: I really love this fic. The song it's based on is also really good, so if you want to check it out! I hope you enjoy this one, I put a lot of work on it! :)
summary: fic based on the song Love from Lana Del Ray
taglist: @ladyeliot @mycosmicparadise
Look at you, kids, with your vintage music
Comin' through satellites while cruisin'
You're part of the past, but now you're the future
Signals crossing can get confusing
The first time you and Carol met was at a party. You were both enjoying the evening and dancing without noticing each other, but by chance you left the party at the same time. In the car park you ran into each other and decided to go for a drive together. It was a warm summer night with a starry sky, and for that time you both just forgot. Forgot what had happened in the past. You two just drove off. Because all that mattered was that night.
It's enough just to make you feel crazy, crazy, crazy
Sometimes, it's enough just to make you feel crazy
Never did you think that something bigger would come of it. But even days later you couldn't stop thinking about Carol. It was like you were going crazy. But little did you know that she had the same problem.
You get ready, you get all dressed up
To go nowhere in particular
Back to work or the coffee shop
Doesn't matter 'cause it's enough
Often you would find yourself in the park at night, walking around for hours just to get a grip on your thoughts. You didn't care where you ended up, whether it was at the city limits or in the next department stores, as long as you could think clearly again. This went on for a while before you ran into Carol again one evening. She was sitting on a bench near your flat, staring out to sea. You had no idea what to do. Go home? Stand still? Sit with her? That decision was taken away from you, however, because she turned in your direction. Her eyes brightened and you quickly took a seat next to her.
A short uncomfortable silence fell and you searched desperately for something that would break it. "What are you doing here?" "The same as you, I suppose" At these words a small smile crept onto your face. "Maybe"
,,What?" you look at her, confused.
,,This. That we are sitting here, talking to each other and-" desperately she searched for words. She didn't even have to say it, you already knew what she meant. And no, it wasn't okay. Actually, none of this was supposed to be here. You were supposed to be working in a small town in South Carolina, not here in New York. In fact, you and Carol should hate each other. Actually.
Again, there was silence between you.
"What's it supposed to be?"
"My goodness, you're slow on the uptake. What is all this supposed to be? Right or wrong?"
"I don't know. It should be wrong but it doesn't feel like that."
And that's exactly what it was. This whole thing was wrong. It should never have happened. It wasn't enough to get involved. But it was enough for you. And it always would be. Because you were young and in love.
Look at you, kids, you know you're the coolest
The world is yours and you can't refuse it
Seen so much, you could get the blues but
That don't mean that you should abuse it
A lot happened in the time after this conversation. Getting to know each other better, secret phone calls and meetings, after all, you two were officially enemies. But those very moments between you were what strengthened your relationship. When the two of you were alone, it was similar to that one summer night. You could forget why your relationship was wrong and why you should be doing your work. In the evening you would often lay in each other's arms and think about the past.
"Wait a minute!" you run after Carol, panting. "How come you're always faster than me?
"Well, that my dear" your girlfriend leaned towards you. "I guess that will always be my secret".
Rolling your eyes you grab your water bottle and open it. But because you weren't really paying attention, all the water splashes into your face. So while Carol had to try not to collapse laughing, you were standing in front of her, dripping wet. A moment later you were both lying on the floor laughing. You, still soaking wet, she, by now wet too, because you had dropped the water bottle on her.
Moments like these were what kept you on the surface at the moment. Your work was keeping you extremely busy at the moment and so you were glad to have some time off now and then. You both knew that sooner or later your relationship would unravel, even if you were careful. When it came to that, that's the way it was.
I know, it's enough just to make you go crazy, crazy, crazy
In the past you never used the term "butterflys in stomach".. By now you have. Never would you two have thought that one person would be enough to make another go crazy.
But you get ready, you get all dressed up
To go nowhere in particular
Back to work or the coffee shop
It don't matter because it's enough
After five months, the Avengers began to suspect something. Carol disappeared more often than usual, not reporting for hours, and then coming back as if nothing had happened. Probably the group would have asked at some point if you hadn't come to the base on a Wednesday night.
"Shit," you curse, tearing off a piece of your dress and tying it around your foot. You had been on a mission and of course - how could it be otherwise - you got shot. Normally this wouldn't have been a problem, you would have just gone home and taken care of the wound there, but you had forgotten your key and you couldn't reach your boss either. What could you do now? You don't know. Hospitals would recognise you and report you, but just standing around wouldn't help you either.
So you decide to visit your girlfriend and hope that her friends are not with her.
The Avengers lifted their heads in confusion when they heard the lift doors open. There was no visiting at this hour and who would come here? However, before they could even begin to ask a question, Carol was already storming towards you.
"Holy - what happend y/n?!"
I've been shot. Nothing new and nothing bad."
"Nothing bad?! That's not what it looks like."
,,Yeah yeah okay, maybe it's a bit worser than I thought."
While Carol bandages your foot and discusses loudly with you, the Avengers watch you silently from their seats. The picture that presented itself to them was also quite surreal. You and Carol, officially not on good terms, talking to each other as if nothing had happened. After your foot was finally taken care of and Carol had finished her rant, Tony cleared his throat.
,,Care to explain?" he threw a prompting glance in the direction of both of you.
"Um-" your girlfriend puts her arm around your waist. "This is my girlfriend. Y/N"
Then a long story began about your relationship, with much suspicion and many questions. But you didn't mind. Because you were young and in love.
Something that also strengthened your relationship were nightmares. Whether it was you or Carol, one of you would always wake up in the night with a bad dream. And the other one was there to calm the one down.
And it's enough just to make me go crazy, crazy, crazy
It's enough just to make me go crazy, crazy, crazy
At first the Avengers didn't understand why you and Carol were together. But with time they began to understand. The many little moments between you, even if it was just a cooked meal, seemed to fit together perfectly. Also the care you both had for each other was fascinating. Who would have thought that one person was enough to turn Carol into a teddy bear?
I get ready, I get all dressed up
To go nowhere in particular
It doesn't matter if I'm not enough
For the future or the things to come
Cause I'm young and in love
"Shhhh" you lie trembling in Carol's arms. Today you had given notice to your boss and thus left the "dark business" for good. Your boss, however, quickly put one and one together and that ended very badly. In addition to that, you would be introduced to Shield later and all that together was a bit much. Hey," you flinch at the sound of Carol's voice. "Look at me"
Slowly you lift your head and look into Carol's soft eyes. "Whatever that asshole of a man said to you. Whatever those people out there are going to say. I don't care. You're enough for me and you always will be. No matter what happens, I'm here." And with that, the tears flowed.
You had so much ahead of you. Children, work and endless beautiful moments together. But right now, all that mattered were Carol's arms around your waist and her tear-streaked face against the crook of your neck. Neither of you would have known what it would have been like if Thanos had flicked one of you. How you would have got along without each other. But that was not the case. You had lost many things, but not each other.