Just a Dog Playing Games

30-something serious card game faggot. Be warned that I post about whatever I want, and sometimes that's gonna include sex and kink stuff.

[onion-souls]

[liathepenguinologist]

the intersecting needs of christian childrens cartoons to make all biblical figures both painfully average looking white people and as un-sexualized as possible creates a hellish world where all of humanity is descended from 2 Jon Arbuckles

[junedoggle]

Top 3 signs your pet knight has been corrupted:

1- Sudden insistence on the aesthetic benefits of black & red livery

2- Dramatic increase in eye contact

3- Occasionally asking for sex without the preliminary beating

[worstgirleva]

when you stop boymoding (and also get a bird)

[villainessbian]

stops boymoding, takes 55 damage? that tracks

[esthermika]

but +4 max hp!

[catgirlbignaturals]

Notice how there's light in her eyes that wasnt there before. HRT saved her

[junedoggle]

Dean

"I liked it when she forcefemmed me" Winchester

[junedoggle]

Top 5 knight enrichment activities (in no particular order):

-Duels -Jousting -Reciting poetry to their beloved -Arguing about interpretations of chivalric tenets -Noncon

[junedoggle]

It's every noble's responsibility to make sure their knights get laid regularly. If they neglect this, the knights tend to do stupid things like letting the monsters bite them and and/or staring into the shiny pendant the witch holds up.

In fact, this is the main way that knights do actually differ from dogs, in that castrating a knight doesn't solve this problem.

[mathew]

[3liza]

[junedoggle]

Blame it on the dandori-pilled twink

You're listening to my words and you're shrinking, your mind is shrinking down along with you, down into a tiny little pikmin. Thoughts growing smaller and smaller, you're growing smaller and smaller. What color of pikmin will you be? Do you feel purple? White? Rocky? No, you're much more simple than that. More expendable. You're my little red pikmin. Feel that stalk rising up out of the top of your head now that you're a little pikmin, rising up higher than your little arms can reach. What's at the tip of it? A flower? No. A bud? No... it's a leaf. You're a weak little leaf pikmin for your Captain. Moving as slow as your thoughts. Body as weak as your thoughts. But you still hear my whistle, don't you?

FWEEEEEE

Yes, that's right. The whistle is calling you, my little pikmin.

FWEEEEEE

My whistle is calling and you have no choice but to follow. No choice but to obey.

FWEEEEEE FWEEEEEE FWEEEEEE

Every whistle pulling you towards your Captain. Making you fall in line. Forcing you to fall into formation. A helpless, helpful pikmin. Ready to obey any order your Captain gives you, yes?

Good. Now get your little hands on your Captain's ship parts... and get to lifting.

[sexymixedkid-deactivated2012071]

you are the weakest twink goodbye

[spacecowboy3039]

[iggykoopa666]

literally this person is so powerful

[philosophicaljester]

I had to see this now so do all of you

[memewhore]

[fiery-rat]

an important addition

[junedoggle]

It's always ethical to kill a knight because they're horny about the idea of dying for something. This is a big part of why it's so easy to mind control them into bad ends.

[when-the-world-spins-backwards]

necromancer princess who keeps the same knight around hundreds of years

[when-the-world-spins-backwards]

yeah it Would be an unfair tactical advantage remembering all the ways you can die on the battlefield personally. "she moves like shes seen death before" lmao the funny thing is-

[milf--adjacent]

Me: "Welcome home, honey! Hope you had a good day!"

My robotgirl girlfriend who communicates in classic YTP soundbites: "I wonder what's for DINNER?"

Me: "I was hoping we could go grab a bite. Maybe Italian?"

My robotgirl girlfriend who communicates in classic YTP soundbites: "I HOPE SHE MADE LOTSA SPAGHETTI"

[demilypyro]

Samus Aran is a genetic freak btw. Girl is like, probably still mostly human? But genetically enhanced with bird DNA at a young age. Surely that has some effects. And past Metroid Fusion? Oh forget it. Girl's got a nice heap of Metroid in her. But no, Nintendo says she still looks like a conventionally beautiful skinny blonde white woman. Sure. Sure.

[demilypyro]

Metroid could be so awesome if Nintendo wasn't pussy

[mathew]

[suspectedgeode]