Character(s): iKON’s BOBBY (Kim Jiwon), Reader (Y/N), iKON
Summary: Since the day you and Bobby met he had feelings for you. It was kind of love at first sight. As you guys got to know each other you started to catch feelings for him too. But as you realized that you were gonna fall for him you began to distance yourself, because you had been hurt before and was afraid to get hurt again.
Tonight was one of those rare nights where iKON was not in the practice room, and of course, as usual we spend the night just chilling, playing some video games, and eating snacks. I was on my phone, scrolling through some unread messages from our group chat in kakao talk as my belly made that annoying sound. It was 7pm and Jinhwan and Junhoe went out to get everyone something to eat. But they had already been gone for about an hour and I was starving.
“How long does it take to just get the usual menu that we always order? I’m starving!” I grunted out loudly, but nobody answered as expected.
“Hanbin, can you try and call them?” I looked over at Hanbin, but he didn’t even bother to look up.
“They’re probably here soon.” Hanbin looked up at me and gave me an annoyed look. I stuck my tongue out at him and looked down at my phone again.
Some minutes later, I heard familiar voices in the hallway and quickly ran to open the door.
“Yah! What took you guys so long?” I asked as I opened the door. They didn’t even bother to answer cause the answer stood right in front of me.
Y/N stood there holding some bags, and she looked at me and smiled. It had been over two years since I’ve last seen her and she had not changed a bit since then. She still had that cute little straw of hair that was too stubborn to fall into place with the rest of the hair. And she still had that little dimple when she smiled, and her dark brown eyes that looked like dark chocolate. I realized just now how much I had missed her.
I had told the boys a few weeks ago that I was finally over her, but seeing her standing here right in front of me, made me realize that those were just words. How was it even possible to stop loving such a beautiful and amazing girl?
“Hey Bobby! It’s been a long time, how have you been?” She asked me as she leaned in for a hug. I wanted to give her the longest and tightest hug ever, to show her how much I had missed her, but then I remembered how I scared her away last time, so I ended up just tapping her back gently. She looked a little surprised by the lack of enthusiasm in my hug, but then reached her hand up to my face and stroke my cheek gently like she used to.
“It’s good to see you again Bobby” It was such a small and simple gesture, but I could feel all them butterflies coming back.
As we sat down to eat, I couldn’t concentrate. Y/N was sitting right in front of me eating. I couldn’t help but stare, cause it was the most beautiful thing I had seen in a long time.
“Uhoh, Bobby hyung is in trouble again..” Junhoe said and giggled hysterically. She looked up at me and gave me one of her sweet smiles and just by that small gesture, my heart was racing like crazy. I quickly looked down and tried to concentrate on eating as I realized that Junhoe was right. I was seriously in big trouble.
After we had finished our meals, we sat down in the living room to catch up with Y/N. And of course out of all places she had to sit beside me. I was happy but then I didn’t want to put my hopes so high, as I knew she didn’t feel the same way I did since the day I met her. I sat there feeling her beside me as I wished that things had not turned out as complicated between us as it was now. I wanted to put my arms around her casually like I always did, but somehow I felt that it would be extremely awkward.
It was her turn to talk now, but I couldn’t concentrate on what she was saying. All I saw was them perfect beautiful lips moving perfectly and that stubborn straw of hair hang loose. I could feel myself getting annoyed at that straw of hair for no reason, as I knew that I was the only one who had noticed it for all these years.
Without realizing it, I reached out my hand and stroked that straw of hair from her face and behind her ear. She looked up at me a little surprised, but there was something new in her eyes, which gave me mixed feelings. I quickly took my hands to myself, and cleared my throat.
“Sorry” I quickly said, and I could feel all eyes on me.
“It’s alright Bobby.” She said smiling at me.
I froze for a moment as I felt the touch of Bobby’s fingertips on my cheek, and for a moment, I almost caressed his face as well. It felt good that his feelings towards me was still there. At that moment it felt like things were about to fall into place, but then he quickly took his hands to himself, apologized and flew out.
I quickly went after him after getting assurance from the boys, but he was so much faster than I was. In the end, I found him sitting on a bench at the park we had parted. It was now almost 10pm.
“Hey you!” I said as I came up behind him.
He looked up at me and his expression said it all. I was the last person he had thought would come after him.
“What? Why are you looking so surprised?” I asked and chuckled.
“No nothing..” He said as he looked down. It looked like he was trying to hide a smile.
“Do you mind if I sit down with you?” I asked him, and he looked up at me a little surprised but nodded.
“Oh no no, I don’t mind” Bobby answered laughing as well. I sat down as he rubbed his neck of embarrassment.
I realized that he had changed for the past years. He had become so careful towards me to the point that it drove me crazy. It was like he was afraid he might to something wrong, so he ended up doing nothing. I just wanted to hang out with him, like we used to in the old days but I knew that it was impossible now.
We sat there in silence for about five minutes when I decided that it was enough. If he wasn’t going to bring up what happened at the dorm, I was definitely going to.
“Bobby?” I carefully said and he quickly looked at me, as if he had waited for me to break the silence.
“About what happened back at the dorm, why did you apologize?” I could see him feeling a little uncomfortable as he avoided my eyes.
“I don’t know. I just felt like it was an inappropriate thing to do.” He said and shrugged, still not looking at me.
“Well, it’s not! You know that we used to be very close right?” I asked him, trying to meet his gaze but he refused to look at me.
“Yeah we used to.” He said after a moment of silence, now looking straight into my eyes.
I could feel my heart drop, and I wanted to tell him otherwise but I knew that he was right. We had not seen each other for a really long time and he had tried to contact me several times, but I just ignored his calls and texts. So I knew that all of this happened because of me.
“I don’t even understand why you came back after being gone for such a long time.” He continued, almost cold this time. I could sense the tension building up inside him.
“I realized that I did you wrong that day, and I know what you are thinking. Just now?……..”
“I just miss you Bobby. I miss hanging out with you.” Bobby looked over at me a little surprised by my confession, but looked away right after.
“Don’t say things like that because you pity me. You don’t even know how just simple words like that can affect me.” I was speechless, but then again it felt good that he still had a weak spot for me.
“Bobby I don’t want things to be like they are now. I miss the old times.” I said. He sighted then turned his head to look at me.
“Ah I get it. You don’t actually miss me, you miss the old me. But you know what Y/N? He’s gone. I’m sorry to disappoint you but you’ve come to the wrong Bobby.” He looked away, and I could see that he was pissed now.
“Why are you saying that? You’re still the same old Bobby.” I lied and he knew it.
“That’s the problem Y/N. I’m not the person I used to be. Not after the day I confessed my feelings to you, and you responded with that you needed space!” His voice was shaking and I bit my lips in anger towards myself for bringing this up.
“Now I have to be careful of what to say and do, because I don’t want to scare you away again.” I looked at him in disbelief, but he was not done yet.
“I had always thought that the worst thing to happen to a person was death. But when you left me there that day, I realized that the thing worse than death was wishing you were dead.” I could feel some teardrops fall down my cheek and wrapped my arms around his waist as I crashed my face into his chest. I could feel his muscles tense up, as he was not expecting this to happen.
The day I first met Y/N was on a rainy day in August. I was on my way to the studio, but I was already a little late. She looked late too as she ran in the rain in full speed with an umbrella over her head. I looked at her amazed as she looked like one of them Olympic masters, when suddenly her umbrella broke. She looked surprised by the sudden break and looked confused around her trying to find a solution. She looked over at me, gave me a little smile and then suddenly she was under the same umbrella as me.
I was shocked, but I didn’t have the chance to say anything as she took my hand and ran in full speed to her destination which was at the bus station. I couldn’t help but smile and felt somewhat free as she ran there before me holding my hand, and just at that moment my heart started to beat in an unfamiliar rhythm.
As we arrived at the bus station I finally got to see the face of this unusual girl, and really I had to say that she was stunning. Her hair was natural black, and I could see that her hair was wavy because of a straw of hair that didn’t get wet. Her skin was a little tan, her lips plumb and pink and her eyes were big and had the color of dark chocolate. It was also her eyes that looked at me with curiosity. She studied me for a moment before smiling widely at me, and exactly at that moment, everything turned slow motion and all I could see was that beautiful smile.
“Hi my name is Y/N, thank you for letting me drag you over here” Y/N, that was an unusual name, but I liked it. She looked at me as she waited for me to say something.
“Oh, hello. My name is Bobby.” She smiled at me, then opened her bag and took out a black marker pen. She took my left arm and wrote some numbers on it.
“I really have to go now, but here is my number. Call me and I’ll pay you back for today ok?” I was just about to say something, but the bus arrived and she ran in. I looked down at my arm and couldn’t help but smile.
“It’s nice to meet you Y/N.” I said as I walked back to the studio.
After that day, Bobby and I became the best of friends and he became the one closest to me. We hung out all day for the days he didn’t have practice and did everything together. We shared stories about our past and got to know each other better by that. Somehow, it was so easy to talk to him and it felt weird but relieving that I had someone who gave the same amount of himself as I gave of myself. After some time I started to look at him in a different way and as time passed by, I realized that I was starting to fall for him and that it wouldn’t take long before I was in love with him.
Once I knew this, I started to distance myself from him. I knew that he had feelings for me, and I was afraid that I was going to fall completely for him too. After some time we didn’t hang out so often anymore, and when he tried to get in touch I usually made excuses about why I couldn’t hang out with him. I knew that this wasn’t fair towards him, but I was afraid that if I fell completely for him it would only end up ruin me, and later our friendship.
He knew that I had trust issues, but I never told him why. After being in a toxic relationship for over a year I lost the love and respect I once had for myself, I was afraid to be attached again. Cause in my mind every guy was the same. No matter how much they may love you, they will get tired of you one day, and when that day comes, they’ll leave you broken. Making you feel unwanted and insecure. I knew that Bobby loved me and that he would take good care of me, but for me it was the safest to stay friends.
After a year, the thing that I feared happened. Bobby confessed his love for me. I saw it coming, but at the same time, I was really disappointed and on top of that really mad.
He asked me to meet him at the park where we usually hung out as he had a surprise for me for our one-year anniversary of being friends. When I arrived at the park he was already there waiting for me. As he saw me, he ran towards me and gave me a tight hug. He then led me to one of the bench and could not stop smiling.
“So what’s up? And why do you look so happy?” I asked him while laughing.
“I don’t know. It’s just one of those days where you just know everything will be just as you’ve planned!” He explained as he tried to show it with his hands, and I couldn’t help but smile. It was good to see him happy like his.
“You are cute you know, when you’re happy” He looked up at me smiling.
As our eyes met, my heart started to beat in another rhythm, so I quickly looked away. This could not happen! Bobby and I cannot be more then friends. I could hear him clear his throat before saying.
“Y/N, I know we haven’t been talking for some days now and I don’t really know the reason why, but I really hope that this will fix things and that we can be like we used to be again.” He looked so nervous and I couldn’t help but smile by the way he stuttered his words. He was a really smooth guy and he was really good with words, but somehow he couldn’t say what he wanted to say today.
“Bobby is there something you want to tell me?” I asked as I gave him a smile. He smiled as he looked into my eyes for a moment before saying.
“I love you, Y/N!” I looked up at him in surprise and could not hide the fact that I was disappointed. Bobby looked worried and even more nervous at this point. He cleared his throat and said, “What I meant was I love hanging out with you and I wouldn’t mind doing it every day for the rest of my….”
“Don’t finish that sentence.” I interrupted him and I could see the regret written on his face, but the damage had already been done.
“I need to go!” I said as I quickly stood up.
“What?” Bobby stood up too and looked at me surprised. I had hoped that this day would’ve never come so that I wouldn’t have to do this, but I was so upset at that moment that the words came out automatically.
“Look Bobby, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” He looked at me in disbelief as he shook his head.
“What? Why are you saying that?” When I didn’t answer he came closer to me.
“No Y/N, please don’t do this!” He took a grip around my shoulder as he looked me into the eyes, and I looked away.
“OK, I’m sorry I brought this up and we can forget all about it. Alright?” Bobby cupped my face and I pushed him back. Hurt was in his eyes.
“No Bobby! The damage is already done and something like this cannot just easily be forgotten.” I turned my head to walk away but he took a grip around my wrist and turned me back to face him.
“No! You can’t just walk away from me like this! Tell me at least why.” His hands were in a tight grip around my wrist and his voice was trembling.
“I’m already stressed out enough with school and everything, and I don’t need this right now. And you know you don’t either.” He shook his head roughly.
“No, that’s not it!” Bobby gave me a look, as if telling me that he knew there was more behind my reaction then I was willing to show.
“Y/N, just tell me the truth. You can trust me.” At this point, I should’ve told him the truth. That I loved him too, and that I was afraid. Instead, his words made me angry.
“Let go of me Bobby! This is ridiculous.” I heard him sight, and as I felt his grip loosened, I took my hands to myself and walked away.
“Y/N, please!” I heard him say, but I was determined not to turn back so I just continued walking.
As I walked future away from him, I began to feel guilty. Maybe I was too harsh on him. I considered turning back, getting a little glimpse of him, but then thought that it probably would be a bad idea and make things worse.
He will be fine. Bobby was a tough and positive person. Something like this won’t affect him that much. I walked away and didn’t look back as I thought everything will soon be over for him. And that was the reason I never saw how he broke down in the middle of the park confused and broken.
Her arms were tightly around my waist and I could hear her soft sobs against my chest. I pulled her chin up to look at me with trembling hands. I froze for a moment as I saw her face. All my anger washed away in the split of a second. She was so beautiful even though she was crying. She looked at me for a moment before putting her arms around my neck and buried her face in my chest again. I was taken aback by her sudden action and wondered if she could hear my racing heart.
“Y/N, why are you crying?” I asked carefully. She looked up at me, but ended up burying her face in my chest again.
“Y/N please. I hate to see you cry, you know that.” My voice was shaking, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I ended up in tears either.
“Bobby” she managed to press out between her sobs.
“If I had known that, you had to feel such pain because of me. I would’ve never done what I did.” She continued crying and my heart sank as I heard those words.
“Y/N look at me for a moment.” I said as I cupped her face and looked in her eyes. She looked up and held my cheeks with one of her small hands. I quickly looked down; as I was afraid I might do something I would regret if I continued looking at her.
“Bobby, I love you too.” As she said those words, I looked up in surprise.
“I’m sorry it took me two years to finally say it to you.” I didn’t know what to say, again I felt these mixed emotions.
“The problem was that I was scared, I was scared you might be like the past guy I had been with. I was scared of losing myself and most importantly our friendship.” She paused as a teardrop fell down her cheek.
“I was so focused on protecting myself; I didn’t realize that I hurt you along the way. And I am truly sorry for that.” I was speechless; the fact that she had just opened herself to me was surprising. I didn’t have a response to what she had to say. So I did the only thing I wanted to do for such a long time.
Bobby’s lips was on mine, and it took me off guard. I wanted to return the kiss, but I knew that this wasn’t the right time. As Bobby realized that I didn’t respond to his kiss he stopped. He had a worried look on his face as he said. “Y/N! I’m sorry! I couldn’t help it.”
“I know. I wanted to do it too.” I said as I smiled and looked down.
“But?” Bobby asked, and lift my chin up so I could face him.
“You know Y/N, now that I know that you feel the same I feel so free! Like I can finally follow my heart.” He said as he looked into my eyes and smiled.
“I’m happy you feel like that.” I said and really meant it.
“But there still something about me that I’ve never told you before.” I said and got a lump in my throat.
“I want you to understand why I did what I did that day.” I said, but somehow the words were stuck in my throat. Bobby noticed, and stroke my cheeks gently.
“You don’t need to tell me now Y/N. Just tell me when you’re ready.” Bobby stroke away my tears with his thumb.
“And I think I’ve got the idea, from the little you’ve spilled out.” At that moment, I realized that there was no need to stress about this topic. Bobby was so understanding that I knew he was willing to wait until I was ready, and that he even was willing to wait forever if he had to.
I cupped his face and looked into the eyes of the man I loved.
“What did I even do to deserve someone like you?” I asked him as I looked at him in awe. He gave me the most precious smile.
“You are the most beautiful girl, and you deserve to receive the love that you give.”
“I’m just lucky I get to be the one to give you that love.” He said and leaned in for a kiss.
