My names Briana or Bri whatever works for you lol. I also have another blog connellnoir but mainly spend time on here. I work second shift Monday through Friday so I usually always try to update in the mornings or on the weekends!
This post says inbox open but itâs always open. Just put it for the aesthetic. I do love to talk so never be shy to shoot me a message!!
I had to make a new blog because tumblr and their secondary blogs are weird so Iâm sorry! I wrote all my request down and drafts so donât worry about sending them again or anything they are still getting done <3
(Also feel free to unfollow the other one if needed it wonât be used anymore)
I just feel like Iâm going to be spending a looot more time on this account than my main so it would just make sense to also make this one a main đ€
Rules:
I finish request in the order received so plz plz donât think Iâm ignoring your request after I answer the ask! I do all my request and sometimes it may take a week or so depending on the request, amount of requests, and between work and life basically!
I will pretty much write whatever. I usually write smut a lot but absolutely love to write fluff and angsty things to! Never be shy to send a request or direct message!! I will pretty much write whatever with a few expectations (mostly extremely outlandish things)
Always send request and if itâs something I donât feel comfortable doing or donât know much about, the worst I can say is no!! But feel free to request something else if so <3
I can hear his thoughts as he kisses me, our tongues twisting together hungrily. Theyâre all along the lines of âI shouldnât be doing this,â or something like that. Heâs probably right. Duff has a beautiful wife that he adores, and two daughters â both older than me â that he loves more than anything. But ever since we met a few months ago at a bar in New York, he hasnât been able to keep himself away from me. Every time we fuck, he tells me itâs the last time as he walks out the door.Â
Weâve had about 7 âlast timesâ in the past 5 months.Â
I donât mind at all, I like being his dirty little secret. And itâs not just sex that keeps him coming back for more. He can talk to me about things in a way that he canât with almost anyone else. He can be honest and angry and brutal and he doesnât have to worry about me telling anyone or judging him for what he says. Iâve always been a good listener. I love being someone that he comes to for comfort, I love playing with his hair and listening to him ramble about anything and everything in his life, I love getting calls from him in the middle of the night when heâs miles away in Seattle but still needs to hear my voice or tell me about something that happened that day. I love being the drug he canât quit.Â
âFuck,â he groans as I pull away from his lips and drag my tongue over his pulse. âI really need to stop doing thisâŠâ
I smile against his skin and dig my teeth into his neck, sucking and biting at it and making him moan underneath me. He pulls me into his lap, one of his hands tangling in my hair and the other one gripping my ass. He yanks my head away from his neck by tugging on my hair and pressing his lips against mine. I let my tongue slide across his lips, the taste of the cigarettes we shared earlier this evening lingering on his mouth and driving me even more wild with desire. I rolled my hips against his, grinding on him in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure building between my legs. My hands wander into his long bleached hair, scratching at his scalp and tugging at his hair playfully. I can feel his cock hardening underneath me when I bite down on his lip, and I smile pulling away from him slightly.
âChrist, youâre so handsome,â I murmur, my lips brushing against his as I stare into his eyes.Â
Duff grins, licking his lips as he glances down at my tits in the tiny tank top Iâm wearing. All at once, he gets up from the couch, carrying me with him into the bedroom and throwing me onto my bed. I watch with hungry eyes as he takes off the leather jacket heâs wearing and pulls his t-shirt over his head, throwing it across the room. He leans over me, reconnecting our lips as he tugs at my clothes; Iâm not wearing much, I was just laying around my apartment when Duff showed up, so Iâve only got on my tank top and underwear.Â
âGoddamnit, youâre so fucking sexy,â he groaned, rubbing his hands up and down my body after throwing away my clothes like they offended him. He drags his lips across my tits, playing with the silver piercings adorning my nipples.Â
I moaned as he toyed with me, and I let my own hands wander over his body. I traced his chest and stomach with my nails, scratching along his spine and tucking my fingers into his waistband. I can feel his thick, hard, cock pressing into me, and itâs making me even more hot than I already am. My hands shake with desire as I fumble with his belt and the button on his pants, trying to get them off. He laughs darkly.Â
âYouâre needy, arenât you?â Duff says. His hand slowly travels down my body, between my legs, and he pushes his fingers inside me, forcing a loud moan out of my mouth. âJesus, youâre so wetâŠâ
âFuck Duffy, that feels so good,â I whimper, arching my back into his touch. I dig my nails into his back, holding him close as his fingers move in and out of me at a painfully slow pace. The tension building in my stomach is driving me insane, and I need more. âPlease,â I whisper, sliding my hand into his pants and wrapping it around his cock, stroking him firmly. âPlease, Duff. Please fuck me!â
âYeah, baby, beg for it,â he groans. âYou sound so hot when youâre desperate.â
I let my thumb rub over his slit, smiling when he hisses in pleasure. âPlease, please, please,â my voice comes out in short breaths, begging him for more. âDuff I need you, please, I need to feel you!â
Finally, finally, he gives in. He sits up and tugs off his pants, tossing them aside and grabbing onto my legs, pushing them far apart. Iâm nearly holding my breath as he pushes inside me, both of us moaning at the feeling of his cock filling me up. I grab onto his arms, my dark red nails digging into his skin as he starts thrusting at a steady pace. Every time he moves, I can feel his dick pressing into my sweet spot, making my toes curl and my eyes roll to the back of my head. Above me, Duff is cursing to himself under his breath and I smile slightly, wondering whatâs going through his head right now.Â
Is it about how wrong this all is?
Guilt over lying to his wife and going behind her back?Â
Something about how good my tight, wet cunt feels around his cock?
Or is his head completely empty, nothing but euphoria and the feeling of my body on his?
Iâm pretty sure I know the answer because at that moment, he grabs onto my thighs, hooking my knees over his shoulders and forcing himself even further inside me. I nearly scream at the feeling of his dick pressing so deep into my stomach; I can feel every vein on his shaft as he fucks me harder and faster, his hands on my waist pulling me into him with every thrust.Â
âOh god,â I moan, my eyes fluttering closed. âYou fuck me so good. Do you fuck your wife like this, hm?â
Anger flashes through him and I feel his hand covering my mouth, forcing it closed and nearly cutting off my airflow for a moment. âShut the fuck up,â he growls. I open my eyes to see him glaring down at me, but his aggressive expression only makes me want him more. âFucking brat, just shut up and take it like a good girl.â
I nod my head quickly. As much as I love pissing him off, I love making him happy even more. He moves his hand away from my mouth and I gasp for air, my chest heaving. I grin, watching him stare down at my body, completely bare and exposed for him. It doesnât matter what he says, I know that it turns him on. My age, that is. He loves fucking my young, tight pussy as much as I love letting him use me like a fucking whore.Â
âFuck, youâre so beautiful,â he groans, confirming my thoughts.Â
âGod, Duff, you feel so good inside me,â I whimper, clutching at his arms, my nails digging into his tattoos. The knot in my stomach is getting tighter and tighter, and I can feel myself getting closer as he pushes himself deeper into me. âI-Iâm so closeâŠdonât stop, please donât stop.â
I hear him laugh darkly above me, and a second later I feel his fingers press against my clit. The sudden touch makes me moan loudly, which in turn makes him laugh again. His fingers work in quick, rough circles, turning me into a squirming, whining mess underneath him. My legs start to shake as he continues his abuse of my pussy, fucking me harder and harder into the mattress.Â
âCum for me, baby girl,â he growls in my ear. âCum all over my fucking cock.â
His voice is enough to send me over the edge, and I scream as he pinches my clit lightly, sending wave after wave of pleasure coursing through me. My nails drag over his shoulders, his arms, his chest, leaving cherry red marks all over his skin. He moans loudly, feeling my cunt squeeze and grip his dick even harder than before. Not long after, I feel his cock twitching and the warmth of his cum pouring into my stomach.Â
He falls onto the bed beside me, pulling me into his arms and holding me close, his cock still inside me. His hands drift over my body, the gentle touch of his fingertips on my skin making me shiver. I let my head fall back against his chest, reveling in the heat of his body. Heâs so much taller than me that I feel like a stuffed animal or a doll in his arms, fragile and vulnerable, but somehow also safe.Â
âJesus Christ, what are you doing to meâŠâ he mumbles, more to himself than to me.Â
I giggle softly at his statement. âIâm not making you stayâŠâ I whisper. As much as I love the time we spend together, I wouldnât mind if Duff never came back. I barely ever call or visit him, unless he asks me to, and I live my own life happily. Heâs the one that keeps coming back. Heâs the one that canât stop. And we both know this.Â
He sighs, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. âBut you donât make it easy to leave,â he laughs quietly.
âIs that so?â I say teasingly, my lips brushing against his chest. I smile at the feeling of him tightening his grip on me as I slowly trace the contours and edges of his muscles with my long red nails. I press my lips onto his skin, kissing and biting him gently, which earns me a few soft moans from him.Â
I can feel his cock getting hard again inside me â we still havenât moved from the position we were in a moment ago, still locked in each otherâs arms â and he grabs onto my throat, forcing my head upwards and kissing me hard, taking my breath away in the process. He rolls onto his back, pulling me on top of him and grabbing onto my hips, moving them over his slowly and making both of us moan into the kiss. His tongue massages against mine, and my eyes flutter closed as my hands wander up his chest, tracing my fingers over the marks I left there just a few minutes ago. I hold his face in my hands as he kisses me deeply, groaning as he grinds my hips back and forth.Â
Iâm surprised that heâs ready to go again so soon, but Iâm not complaining about it. The only problem is that Iâm still so sensitive from the last orgasm he gave me, and when he starts thrusting into me again I canât help the small whimpers and whines of pain that spill from my lips. I pull away from his lips, burying my face in his chest and biting on my lip to try and keep myself quiet.Â
âWhatâs wrong, baby girl?â Duff asks and I smile. I know thatâs his favorite nickname for me and itâs mine too; it always makes my stomach flutter with butterflies.Â
âN-Nothing,â I stammer as he thrusts his hips sharply, his dick slamming into my sweet spot. âIâm just a little soreâŠâ I moan loudly as he grips my waist, rolling my hips and forcing me to feel every inch of him inside me.Â
âWant me to go slow?â He asks, his voice soft and low. He lifts me up again, pulling almost all the way out of me.
I nod, and the next thing I know heâs let go of me, making me slam back down on his cock and forcing a scream of pleasure from my lips. I dig my nails into his shoulders, my back arching of its own volition and my eyes rolling back in my head a little.Â
âGo on,â Duff says. His eyes are dark with lust but thereâs an amused look on his face. I shoot him a quizzical glance, not sure what he means, and he smiles. âFuck yourself on my dick.â
My face turns red underneath his intense gaze, but I obey. I start moving slowly, placing my hands on his stomach as I ride him. I know heâs watching me, and for some reason it makes my cheeks hot with embarrassment so I close my eyes. I donât realize until a moment later when his hand comes crashing down on my thigh that itâs a bad idea. I yelp at the pain, my eyes flying open.Â
âEyes on me, sweetheart,â Duff smirks. He reaches up, his hand wrapping around my throat and pulling me closer to him. âIf you look away again, I wonât let you get away with it so easy.â
âOk,â I whisper, nodding as best as I can.Â
âGood girl,â he grins, letting go of my throat and grabbing onto my hips again, moving them slowly, but still faster than I had been.Â
I let him take control, focusing instead on keeping my eyes on his. My mind is screaming at me to look away â itâs hard not to be self-conscious when heâs staring at me like that â but my thigh is still stinging from where he slapped me. My embarrassment fades as I watch him looking me up and down, biting on his lip as he starts fucking me faster and faster, chasing his release as my moans get louder and my nails claw at his chest and stomach. I have to fight to keep my eyes from rolling back in my head as he slams into me over and over again, and eventually I canât help it anymore and they flutter closed as a loud moan leaves my lips. Another harsh slap comes down on my thigh and then another and another. He stops his thrusts and I whine, grinding my hips desperately. I look back at him with pleading eyes, but his expression holds no remorse.Â
âWhat did I just say?â Duff growls.Â
âI-Iâm sorry,â I stutter. Iâve never seen this side of him before.Â
In half a second Duff has me on my hands and knees, my back forced into an arch and my ass on display for him. I scream into my blankets as he slaps me again and again, each stinging red handprint making my pussy wetter. By the time heâs done, Iâm aching for his touch between my legs.Â
âDuffyâŠâ I whimper. âPleaseâŠâ
I hear him chuckling darkly. I feel his big hand gently caressing the bruised flesh of my ass before sliding between my legs, his fingers pushing inside me and making me moan loudly. âFuck, baby, youâre so wet for me. My little slutâŠâ
I open my mouth to speak again, to beg for more, but then heâs shoving his cock inside me and the moan that leaves my lips is almost pornographic. I was already getting close before he bent me over and started spanking me, and now that heâs slamming into me faster and harder than ever I can tell itâs not going to take long until I see stars. My hands claw at the blankets on my bed, my back arching and my teeth digging into my lip as Duffâs cock crashes into my sweet spot over and over again. I can feel my pussy start to spasm and clench around his dick and I know Iâm dangerously close.Â
âDuff, Iâm gonna cum!â I cry.Â
âNo youâre not,â he hisses. âNot until I say so.â
A loud whine rips from my throat as I struggle to hold off my orgasm, which only gets more difficult as Duff gets closer to his and starts fucking me faster than I considered possible. I bite my lip so hard that the skin breaks and the taste of blood fills my mouth. Tears prickle my eyes as my legs shake from the intense pleasure rippling through me. I can feel myself losing control and I know I canât hold on any longer.
âDuffy, please!â I scream.Â
âJesusâ fuck,â he curses, his thrusts getting sloppier. âCum for me, baby girl.â
The knot in my stomach explodes and I cum harder than I ever have before, my vision going blurry and my body vibrating. It feels like there are fireworks â supernovas â going off throughout my entire being and I scream Duffâs name until Iâm sure Iâll be hearing from my neighbors tomorrow. My cunt squeezes around his cock so tightly that I can feel every vein in my stomach and I can hear him moaning as his hips still, his dick twitching inside me.Â
After my orgasm has run its course, my body feels thoroughly exhausted and I go limp, falling into my mattress. Duff laughs softly and I smile at the feeling of his big hands gently caressing the red handprints on my ass and thighs. I whimper as he pulls out of my oversensitive pussy and I feel his cum dripping down my legs. A moment later, he leans over and presses a kiss onto my shoulder.Â
âYou look so pretty like this,â he whispers, his breath sending shivers over my exposed skin. He pulls me onto his lap, holding me close to his chest as he sits back, leaning against the headboard. âYou did so good, baby. Such a good girl for meâŠ.â
âYouâre so sweet, Duffy,â I mumble, nuzzling my face into his neck subconsciously. It used to surprise me how sweet Duff always is after sex. The first few times we fucked, I expected him to just leave like all the other hookups Iâd ever had â especially considering the situation.Â
But he didnât leave. He would always stay and hold me. And sometimes if weâd gotten especially wild heâd get in the shower with me and help me clean up. Sometimes we would lay in bed for hours, watching movies, talking and laughing together. And he always kissed me. And he always held me like I was something delicate, something to be cared for.Â
âWas I too rough?â He asks, gently tracing his fingertips up and down my thigh.Â
I smile a little. âNot at all,â I say. âI loved it.â
Duff chuckles softly. âGood, Iâm glad. I loved it too.â
I can feel myself drifting off into sleep as I listen to the sound of Duffâs heartbeat. A small voice in the back of my mind is telling me to pay attention to the butterflies fluttering in my stomach, but Iâm too worn out to think about that right now. So instead I let myself fall asleep in his arms, reveling in his affection, so different from anything else Iâve ever known.
The next morning, I wake up alone. The spot next to me is empty, and Duffâs clothes are gone. I try to get out of bed, but I canât get very far with how sore my body is. I smile to myself, thinking back to last night. He was fucking relentless, fucking me harder than heâs ever done before. There are bruises, hickeys, and scratches all over me, my skin marked with proof of how he ravaged me. Eventually I get out of bed and make my way around the apartment, looking to see if Duff is still hanging around. But heâs nowhere to be found in my small home. There is, however, a note on my tiny kitchen table. I recognize Duffâs handwriting instantly and I look over the note that appears to have been scribbled down hastily.Â
That was the last time. Take care of yourself. I hope Iâll see your pretty face around sometime. âDuffy
At the time, I didnât think anything of it. I thought that the note was another empty promise Duff made to himself, but after several weeks of hearing nothing, I realize that heâs gone for good. I feel an unexpected sense of sadness and loss. Duff never took me out, never treated me like a girlfriend or even a mistress. The only times we were in public together were when he would meet me at the club where I work, and even then he was careful and the visits were rare. I was his secret. And still, he managed to make me feel so special.
Time goes by and I move on, I donât think about Duff at all. That is until I start throwing up, and feeling more tired than usual, and my period doesnât come when it should, doesnât come at all. I know whatâs wrong even before I take the test, but nothing could prepare me for the feeling that washes over me as I stand in the bathroom of my tiny, shitty New York apartment, staring down at the little pink plus sign on the drugstore pregnancy test in my hands. I burst into tears, falling to the ground and sobbing uncontrollably.Â
Warnings; none! No smut in this part unfortunately but itâs very much filled with drama and pulling at heart strings đ this took over three weeks to write and if itâs still bad Iâm sorry :,) turns out smut is my strong suit
Also not proof read sooo if thereâs any mistakes, spelling errors just lmk and I will fix it :3
âNoâŠNo, no,noâfuck this canât be happening right now.â
The words fell out of your lips in a rush as you gripped onto the pregnancy test in your hand. You stared at the line hoping that maybe your mind was playing tricks on you and that maybeâjust maybe, it could change to negative if you stared hard enough.
You let out a loud groan and eventually tossed the stick into the trash as you stood up. You began to pace across the bathroom, one hand shot up to drag throughout your hair as your chest tightened.
PregnantâŠYouâre actually pregnant.
A broken laugh slipped out from the back of your throat as you couldnât believe it. The word pregnant spun throughout your head like an insult.
âThis is a joke,â you whispered, like something out there might hear you and fix it. âThis is actually a joke.â
But the nausea, tiredness, sore breast, and missed period completely destroyed the joke and turned it into reality.
Suddenly the bathroom felt like it was closing in on you. The air was heavy and you couldnât breathe inside of that tiny space any longer. You quickly made your way towards your room.
You flopped onto your mattress, practically sinking into it and nearly screaming into the duvet under you. After a long time of contemplation and frustration, you propped yourself up on your elbows and grabbed your phone from your night stand.
Your fingers hovered over the screen, unlocking it on autopilot and within seconds your contact list opened.
Maeâs name is right there near the top.
Of course it is, sheâs your best friend after all.
The person you tell everything to. The person who would know exactly what to say and who would probably already be halfway to your apartment if she heard the way your voice sounded right now.
Your thumb moved over her name and then stopped like you hit a wall you didnât see coming.
Your chest tightened again, sharper this time, because you can already hear it.
âWhoâs the dad? You never told me you were seeing anyone! Tell me right now donât lie! I can tell when youâre lyingâ
And what were you supposed to say then?
âIâve been fucking your dad behind your back for weeks and now Iâm pregnant with your little sister or brother.â
A shaky breath left your throat as your hand dropped slightly, your vision began to blur and your eyes stung.
Your thumb quickly shifted before you could realize. It moved down until the next name you always went to came into view.
Duff was a name that use to have butterflies flutter in your belly when his name popped up on your phone. Now they swarmed in the pit of your stomach nearly making you vomit.
You tossed your phone down
âFuck I canât do it.â You cried to yourself.
The guilt, shame, and fear had you dizzy. Before you knew it, you were curled up in your bed sobbing into your pillow until you drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, a pounding headache pulled you away from your sleep.
You whined in pain from the pulsing behind your eyes, it was dull and persistent and it didnât help that your face was tight from dried tears.
For a second you just laid there, staring blankly at the ceiling while your brain struggled to catch up with the rest of you.
Then you remember the test with that damn positive symbol.
Your stomach twisted so suddenly it made you feel sick all over again.
âFuck,â you whispered as you dragged a hand over your face and sat up slowly.
At some point last night you mustâve kicked your phone beneath the blankets because you felt the coldness against your leg as you finally move. You reached under the thick cover until your fingers found it.
When you opened it up to see the time,you noticed some notifications that had dread fill the pit of your belly. You quickly squinted as you looked at the text
Duff:
You okay?
Another from an hour later
Duff:
Havenât heard from you.
And then the last one
Duff:
Talk to me, sweetheart.
You knew that you had to text him or call him back because deep down that was the right thing to do with this situation.
You squeezed your eyes shut for a second before exhaling shakily. You finally forced yourself to move, legs unsteady as you pushed yourself out of bed.
You donât let yourself think too hard after that. If you do, you know youâll lose your nerve. Because the logical part of your brain had decided to beat your better judgmentâyou were going to see him in person instead.
The drive to his place felt like a blur. You hardly remembered any of the turns you took or maybe it was because the drive had became muscle memory for you at that point.
Either way, your grip on the wheel was tight and your stomach twisted with nerves. By the time you park in front of his house, you could feel the emotions hit you all over again from the night before.
Your legs felt shaky as you got out the car and walked closer to his place.
You almost didnât even knock on his door. You lifted your hand up, inching closer to hit it and then dropped it right back down to your sideâcursing yourself out in the process.
When you do finally knock, itâs very faint. So faint you were surprised he heard it so quickly to open as fast as he did.
Duffâs brows pulled together in confusion immediately as he seen the state you were in,concern flashed across his features
âHey-â
Thatâs all Duff could get out before you broke down again.
A sob tore out of your chest suddenly and uncontrollably, your hands came up to cover your face as the tears spilled out and your body shook.
âWoah. Hey-hey,â Duff quickly stepped forward towards you âWhatâs wrong,sweetheart?â
You tried to get your words out but theyâre choked out by sobs.
Duff quickly moved your hands from out of your face. He then placed his own hands against your cheeks to cradle your face instead,guiding you to look at him.
His thumb brushed against your cheek,catching the tears as they fell, his expression shifted from confusion to something more serious in a blink of an eye.
âTalk to me, baby,â he says more softer this time âPlease.â
Your lips trembled and your breath stuttered as you tried to speak
â I canât.â You choked out as you shook your head
â Yes you can,â he murmured âYouâre okay I got you.â
Your hand shot up and grabbed ahold of his wrist,your grip tightened against him like you needed something solid to hold onto in that moment.
Without thinking much of it anymoreâ
âIâm pregnant,Duff.â
You expected him to drop his hands away from your face and slam the door. He does the opposite to your surprise
âWhat?â He breathed out, almost as stunned as you were when you saw the test.
âI took a test,â you said in a shaky voice âIt was positive. I didnât know what to do and I couldnât call her and I couldnât just sit there and not tell you andââ
Your words trembled over each other. Panic seeped into your veins, making your body hot.
âThis is bad, Duff,â you choked âThis is really really bad.â
âLook at me.â
Duffâs voice is firm enough to make your breath hitch but it wasnât harsh in the slightest. His grip on your face steadied you more and his forehead nearly brushed yours.
You looked up at him with your tear soaked eyes, bracing yourself for whatever might come
âYouâre absolutely sure about this?â
You shake your head and sniffled out a yes. A beat had passed before he cleared his throat. You watched how his jaw tightened and how his eyes looked over your face as if he were trying to take in every emotion you had.
âYouâre right about this being bad.â
Your heart skipped a beat and your eyes filled up with more tears
âI know,â you cried out âIâm sorry I justââ
âIt doesnât mean I donât want you here or this happening.â
You stared at him, half shock and half relief washed over your face. Your bottom lip trembled and you let out a breath that had felt like was caught in your lungs for the longest time.
âWhat?â You had to ask and you watched as the tiniest smile tugged at the corners of his lip
âIâm scared,â he admitted âAnd Iâd be an idiot not to be. This is definitely a mess.â
A laugh sneaked out from the back of his throat and you couldnât help but to smile
âBut I would never push you away or shun you over this. You donât have to do this alone and youâre not going to.â
Duff leaned down just enough to press a kiss against the top of your head and you swore in that moment every ounce of fear had suddenly vanished
âI mean it sweetheart,â he continued âMaybe we didnât do this the right way and we messed up in about every way we couldâbut I donât regret any of it.â
Duff opened his mouth to say something more, you swore in that moment he would say I love you for the first time,but it was cut off by the sound of a car pulling into the driveway.
The way Duffâs body tensed you already knew who it wasâMae.
You turned slowly around and watched as she got out of the car, slipping her sunglasses off while raising her brow.
You can tell instantly that she knew something was wrong. You always could read her better than anyone and that was what scared you most
Her eyes flicked between the two of you âFirstly, why do you both look that?â She asked as she finally got close âand secondly why didnât anyone tell me they were coming over?â Her eyes went straight to you at that.
The silence that followed stretched longer than it should
âDid something happen?â Mae asked
The guilt was what hit you first as you watched your best friend stand there in confusion.
Suddenly the memories of you two flooded your memory.
You remembered how she used to lay with her head in your lap, ranting about how tense things got at home. About the fights, the silence, the way her parents barely looked at each other near the end of their marriage.
âSometimes I just wish theyâd stay together,â she had said once, voice small in a way youâd never heard before. It was like a kid who wanted to beg Santa or whoever to listen about a wish that was never going to come true âLike⊠just try harder, you know?â
What you never realized was how your face twisted as she said that. Because just like you had known Mae better than anyoneâshe knew you just as much.
Because now sheâs standing right in front of you,eyes going back and forth, slowly clicking everything into place
âWhat the actual fuck.â she said suddenly,shaking her head and letting out a laugh that was the opposite of happy
âMaeââDuff started to say as he stepped closer to her.
She jerked back away from him, her expression shifted from shock into defensive
âWhat did you do?â She demanded as she took another step back away from her dad as he tried to get closer
âIâm pregnant, Mae.â It came out before you could even think about it.
She finally looked over at you. You could see the way her skin flushed and eyes got nearly as wet as yours had been.
âThereâs no way,â you could barely hear it as her voice faltered âThereâs actually no fucking way.â
Mae lets out a laugh again âWow I didnât realize how badly my best friend and dad could be soââ she stopped and scuffed âI canât even figure out to describe that amount of betrayal. I mean youâre pregnant and you thought what? Thatâd id just be happy for you both?â
âThatâs not what weââ Duff tried again
âDonât.â She snapped, her voice cracking as she looked over at him âDonât you dare try to even act like this is just some normal situation.â
Her breathing picked up âThis is my best friend,â She choked as she looked at you as if she couldnât recognize you anymore âand my dad. Did you both think you could keep this up forever behind my back? Or did you just not care about how I would feel about this?â
âWe care.â You said quickly and it made her roll her eyes âThen why would you do something so fucked up?â
She shook her head in disbelief and used the back of her hand to wipe the tears that managed to slip out
âI told you everything,â she said âAbout them and how bad it got. How I wanted nothing more for it all to stay together and not fall apartâŠand you still fucked him.â
You nearly flinched at the truth.
âIâm so sorry.â
Your words came out barely above a whisper and Mae turned on her heels before saying âyou should be.â
â
You donât talk to her after that, no resolution and forgiveness, only distance. It had been months since you last seen her.
Now you laid against a hospital bed. The room is quiet and still which didnât match how you or your body felt in that moment.
Youâre exhausted and aching in places you never thought you could ache. Everything felt so heavy but not as heavy as the bundle in your arms felt.
You stare down at the babyâyour baby. Your chest tightened in a way that almost was overwhelming. So much that you didnât even hear Duff when he walked in.
You nearly jumped when you finally noticed him making him chuckle
âHey,â he said between a laugh and aâI brought you some actual food.â
His eyes flicker to the food sitting on the tray the hospital brought and his face scrunched up from disgust at the sight
âThank god.â You muttered giving him a slight smile.
You noticed the way his features were softer than usual. He seemed quiet by how he just stared at the baby in your arms. You could tell the last few months had changed him just as much as it had you.
âHey princess,â he finally cooed as he ran a finger gently against the babyâs soft blonde hair âMy girls.â
He leaned up and pressed a kiss against your cheek as he said it. Your heart tightened all over again.
Thereâs a soft knock against the door before either of you could say anything else.
âYou expecting someone?â
You shook your head no and your eyebrows pulled together
âNo I donât think so.â
Thereâs another knock, this time it was quieter in a hesitation type of way.
Duff pushed himself up from the chair he was sitting in and mumbled a âIâll get itâ before opening the door
Mae stood there awkwardly, a pink fluffy teddy bear in one hand, and the other still half raised from knocking.
She doesnât say anything at first instead she wraps her arms around Duff in a hug, like she hadnât spoke to her dad for a long timeâwhich wouldnât be completely false. She had moved out almost immediately after finding out about you and Duff and you could only imagine that she distanced herself from him just like she did you.
When she pulled back from the hug, her eyes went over to you and then the baby before going back to Duff.
âThank you for coming.â Duff gently said.
Mae,who had a habit of never showing just how truly she felt, just shrugged her shoulders with a smile
âMom told me she had the baby,â she explained âoh well the internet told her and then she told me.â
You swallowed hard at the thought of how some blogs would love this too much. They had done so when it was a ârumorâ all the clickbait articles about you being half Duffâs age and having his baby. They all left a bad taste in your mouth and you couldnât find the heart to read them.
Mae looked back over at you. It was the first time she fully had in months, you could still see the lingering of hurt and betrayal still in her eyes.
âI almost didnât.â She admitted with a little laugh. You simply just nodded âThatâs fair.â
Her jaw shifted slightly like she wasnât expecting you to be understanding of that so easily.
Silence lingered for a second before her eyes drifted back to the baby
âSheâs really little,â she said with a smile âand a cutie.â
You carefully adjusted the baby slightly in your arms and looked up at her
âDo you wanna hold her?â
Her eyes widened in shock âwhat?â
âYou donât have to,â you quickly added âI just thought maybe you wanted to andâ.â
âNo,â she cut in softly and shook her head âI mean,yeah, I do want to.â
Duff stood off to the side and watched with a faint smile as his daughter reached for the baby and held her.
The second she looked down at her new little sister, something in her broke open. As if all the anger she had built and held together for months didnât fit neatly anymore.
âThatâs funny,â she snorted âshe has dadâs nose.â
âPoor kid.â Duff teased. You let out a surprised laugh and just like that the tension was gone. Not all the way and perfectly but just enough that you were able to finally hold a conversation with Mae like you had before
âIâm still mad at you.â She said quietly with a smile.
âI know.â
âAnd this is still very messed up,â she added âbut I think she deserves everybody loving her more than I wanna stay angry forever.â
The baby stirs softly in her arms as the rooms settles in that familiar warmth.
Nothing was close to perfect but this was a family and despite it all, you were happy. Happy to share a moment with the love of your life and your best friend.
If anyone wants to know what itâs like to have adhd, a bunch of request piling, and extremely bad luck irl :,)
I thought that if I went back and fourth between each one it would be quicker to get them done and yeah no bad idea
Then right as I was going to try my hardest to lock in I ended up going through a rough breakup after two years and then I was stuck covering peoples shifts plus my own for the last month so I apologize :(
I feel extremely bad because having started one April 8th and still not having it done is so out of character for me.
But I really wanted to make this post to acknowledge that I will be getting these done this week and throughout next. (Plus the other request I have that I havenât drafted out yet!!!)
Iâm still writing and things are going a lot smoother đ«¶
