I think that when you're overstimulated you should appear kind of grayed out and no one should be able to interact with you like a locked character in a video game
or draco's mood affecting the weather around him and pansy had enough of it or the kids used to their dad's dramatic antics or scorpius playing his phone too much and lyra setting her eyes on somebody or i wanna draw another old married couple dramione
ps: draco's mood affecting the weather is inspired by a drarry fic that read a longtime ago where draco had a rain cloud following him around because he was sad
I was supposed to post this at the same time as the When Do They Kiss podcast launch episode on 16 August, but better late than never!
It belatedly occured to me that I assigned my poor podcast guests frigging HOMEWORK 48 hours before the recording and they both managed to turn it in on time LMAO.
I hope you find these responses as amusing as I do :D
Witch Weekly is running a ‘Get To Know A Famous Wizard’ weekly column. Each featured wizard is given a series of questions to answer. Hermione forces Draco to participate in what he describes as, “An utter waste of time.” But he will do anything she asks and so he fills out the bloody questionnaire.
The 3 participating Dracos (are from):
The Right Thing To Do (by @lovesbitca8)
Break for Me (by @adaprix)
Love In A Time Of The Zombie Apocalypse (by @rizzlewrites).
1. What is your name?
TRTTD Draco: Draco Malfoy
BFM Draco: Auror Malfoy
LIATOTZA Draco: Draco Lucius Abraxus Malfoy
2. How old are you?
TRTTD Draco: 19
BFM Draco: None of your fucking business.
LIATOTZA Draco: 33
3. What is your occupation?
TRTTD Draco: Co-CEO Malfoy Consulting Group
BFM Draco: Occupation is in the title
LIATOTZA Draco: Professional genius
4. What is the highest level of education you have attained?
TRTTD Draco: 6 ½ years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
BFM Draco: Auror training
LIATOTZA Draco: N.E.W.T.s (officially). Bachelor of Medical Sciences (unofficially).
5. What is your relationship status?
TRTTD Draco: Very taken
BFM Draco: Single, but attempting to hold myself back from giving Granger a good time.
LIATOTZA Draco: Married
6. Do you have any children?
TRTTD Draco: Not yet.
BFM Draco: None. Ever.
LIATOTZA Draco: 3
7. Do you have any pets?
TRTTD Draco: No
BFM Draco: None of my own. Have had the unfortunate experience of meeting a cat the size of a mountain lion and with the temperament of a tired toddler when I swing by Auror Granger’s every weekend.
LIATOTZA Draco: 1 Hellhound, 7-13 frogs.
8. What is your favourite colour?
TRTTD Draco: Green
BFM Draco: The fact that you have asked that question shows how little you know me. Black – like my heart.
LIATOTZA Draco: None
9. What is your favourite food?
TRTTD Draco: Pumpkin soup
BFM Draco: Vagina
LIATOTZA Draco: Cognac
10. What are you most passionate about?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger
BFM Draco: Vagina – oh, and my hair. And my glasses. And my grey sweatpants.
LIATOTZA Draco: Completing this ridiculous questionnaire with as little effort as possible.
11. What 2-3 things do you enjoy doing in your spare time?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger
BFM Draco: (1). Sex. (2). Thinking about sex. (3). Thinking about sex with Granger.
LIATOTZA Draco: Anything but this.
12. What 3 things are you are grateful for?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger
BFM Draco: Occlumency. My resting bitch face. Pencil skirts.
LIATOTZA Draco: My wife, my children, my FREE TIME.
13. How happy are you with your physical appearance?
TRTTD Draco: Herm—er, it’s satisfactory
BFM Draco: Very, especially when Granger is giving me the eyes when she thinks I’m not looking.
LIATOTZA Draco: I don’t care.
14. What three words would your best friends use to describe you?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione. Jean. Granger.
BFM Draco: Stand-offish. Brooding. Bit of a cunt.
LIATOTZA Draco: How insensitive. My best friends are all dead.
15. Describe your perfect date.
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger
BFM Draco: April 25th because it’s not too hot and not too cold. Ha! Look, I can do Humour… Or a decent brew in a coffee shop. Definitely not being trapped in a hospital for days on end with Hermione bloody Granger.
LIATOTZA Draco: That WOULD have been today, given that it’s the first fucking Sunday in three months where I get to have a lie in with my wife and she’s asking me to fill out this rubbish.
16. What do you look for in a romantic partner?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger
BFM Draco: Similar interests and kinks. Kinks being their similar interests.
LIATOTZA Draco: Hermione Granger
17. Biggest turn-on?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger
BFM Draco: Dirty talk
LIATOTZA Draco: Hermione Granger
18. Biggest turn-off?
TRTTD Draco: Ronald Weasley
BFM Draco: Mixed signals
LIATOTZA Draco: Harry Potter
19. Favourite flavour of ice-cream?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger’s tits
BFM Draco: Mint. Spearmint, to be precise.
LIATOTZA Draco: Whatever I have to finish when my children don’t.
20. Where are you right now?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger’s tits
BFM Draco: In the depths of despair.
LIATOTZA Draco: In bed.
21. What are you wearing right now?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger’s thighs
BFM Draco: Grey jogging bottoms and glasses. That’s it. I’ll let you imagine the rest.
LIATOTZA Draco: Nothing.
22. The quill is mightier than the wand’. True or false?
TRTTD Draco: Sure
BFM Draco: False. Or maybe true? I don’t know. Ask Granger, she cares about that sort of shite.
LIATOTZA Draco: Irrelevant. I could kill you with either.
23. Complete this sentence: ‘A witch’s place is _________________’
TRTTD Draco: On my face
BFM Draco: Wherever she wants to be. And if that happens to be in my bed, then so be it.
LIATOTZA Draco: I can’t believe you’re risking lives by asking this question.
24. What are you most afraid of?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger
BFM Draco: Not being able to occlude long enough to stop myself to wanting to grab Granger and shag her senseless.
LIATOTZA Draco: What happens to the rest of my morning if I don’t finish this questionnaire.
25. What is your proudest achievement?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger
BFM Draco: Being able to occlude long enough to stop myself from grabbing Granger and shagging her senseless.
LIATOTZA Draco: Not carpet bombing the Witch Weekly office after I complete this questionnaire.
26. What are you best known for?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger
BFM Draco: Being a massive bell end. Oh, and having one.
LIATOTZA Draco: My sense of humour
27. Do you have a good sense of humour?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger won’t think so after this quiz.
BFM Draco: I think I have rested my case.
LIATOTZA Draco: No.
28. Do you have a temper?
TRTTD Draco: Indeed
BFM Draco: Snakes bite when provoked?
LIATOTZA Draco: Yes and you’re not helping.
29. If you have a significant other, what pet name/s do they call you?
TRTTD Draco: Malfoy
BFM Draco: I quite like being called by my second name… it does things to me.
LIATOTZA Draco: God-Damn-It-Draco
30. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
TRTTD Draco: Hermione Granger
BFM Draco: Thank the Lord above for my massive package and put it to good use.
LIATOTZA Draco: What kind of seedy publication is this?
31. Complete this sentence: ‘Size doesn’t matter _________________’
TRTTD Draco: I would never complete that sentence
BFM Draco: “… to me, because I’ve got a big nob.’
LIATOTZA Draco: “…Harry, don’t worry about it.”
32. Do you have a favourite spell?
TRTTD Draco: Oculus Dolus
BFM Draco: Do you have a favourite spell? The one that makes filling in forms easier … knew I should have invested in a Dicto-Quill.
LIATOTZA Draco: No, I have 3 favourite spells.
33. Which is your favourite season: spring, summer, autumn or winter?
TRTTD Draco: Fall
BFM Draco: Winter. Cold – like my black heart.
LIATOTZA Draco: I’ve changed my mind about my response to ‘what is my proudest achievement?’
34. The last book you read.
TRTTD Draco: Someone forced me to read the entire Jane Austen catalogue recently
BFM Draco: Hogwarts: A History. Don’t fucking ask.
LIATOTZA Draco: ‘Where my Cow’, by Terry Pratchett.
35. The last time you cried.
TRTTD Draco: February 26, 2000
BFM Draco: When the shop I used ran out of my favourite hair gel.
LIATOTZA Draco: See my response to #23
36. The last time you laughed.
TRTTD Draco: While answering these asinine questions
BFM Draco: I don’t laugh. I lack the emotional range.
LIATOTZA Draco: 10 minutes ago, when my wife handed me this questionnaire and assumed I would agree to complete it (I’m not laughing any more).
37. And finally, if you could go back in time to visit your 11-year old self, what advice would you give them?
TRTTD Draco: Not all Muggleborns are beneath you. Sometimes they can be on top of you.
BFM Draco: Don’t fuck with cats. Especially mountain lions. Oh, and when you meet a boy called Potter – don’t be a smart arse. He might be a prick, but his bushy-haired friend isn’t too bad.
LIATOTZA Draco: This question implies that we are not operating on a fixed timeline. In that case, I’d tell him nothing. Not a bloody thing that would jeopardise where I need to be right here, right now.
my beautiful stuttering blonde daughter with anxiety who can’t make eye contact and my beautiful blonde son who dissociates and makes corny jokes to cope
gamechangershow
tangentwithtanner
dailybridgerton
vaporwave
prguitarman
theartofmadeline
origamiaround
ellievsbear
