So I want to talk about something that I feel isnât said enough. Iâve been a shinee fan since a while, and Jonghyun was my bias (rip). When I found out about his death on December 18th to say I was dejected would be a understatement. This girl who is new to kpop had asked me if I was alright, about two weeks after his death, to which I replied, âNo. Itâs still hard.â since that day until like a week later I tried to stay off social media, I didnât want to be reminded about his death, I was in extreme denial. So after I said to her it was still hard, she responded with âWow, youâre making it sound like he was apart of your family or something.â to say that was one of the most disrespectful sentence she couldâve said to me. But it got worse, (I mean no hate to BTS, I am not taking about the group or army in general please donât take offense) She then later told me, âIf someone from bts did that, I donât know how I would react.â I was so angry when she said that, because you just questioned why I was feeling so depressed over his death but then told me this? TO MY POINT OF THIS RANT: Donât ever, I swear EVER question the love a fan has for their idol. Their idol for some fans could be the only lifeline they have, they could be suffering with so much things and the only happiness they have is because of their idol. Their idol brings feelings of happiness and joy, and if something happened to that idol, it would be the worst feeling in the world. In my opinion, idols become apart of your family, like friends do. They might not be related or know who you are, but like a family, they bring feelings of acceptances, belonging, freedom, joy. I never, and I hate when people tell me whatâs the big deal? if something happens to my idol or if they get sick and I âOverreactâ in the eyes of people around me. I âOverreactâ because they are my family, just like fandoms are. Fandoms are a place where you belong, where you can have your safeplace. Itâs like saying you had a plushee from like a parent or something and itâs something youâve had for years, you love it, even in the eyes of people itâs worn out and old and ugly and probably should be in the trash, would you throw it away? Probably not. I can grieve, and I will continue to grieve, I am free to cry over a person. I donât care if that person doesnât know I exist, that person made me feel safe, which is something that is rare to find in people who surround you. So to all fangirls/fanboys, if you ever have someone that is questioning âWhyâ stop them right there, educate them, people can be ignorant, and if no one else will tell them whatâs right from wrong that I guess itâs up to you. P.S this goes to hate on idols. When Jackson Wang from Got7 received hate I swear I felt like my heart dropped, Jackson is one of the sweetest people that earth can have and to have ignorant disgusting people saying horrible things to him, made me sick to my stomach. Or when Onew was in that scandal, or TOPâs scandal or when I hear about how companies treat them, or basically anything that makes them sad, makes me sad. It makes my heartbreak and I honestly am at the point where I could give a total fuck about what people think. IF I WANT TO FUCKING CRY OVER MY BABY GETTING FUCKING HATE THEN IâM GONNA CRY A FUCKING RIVER OKAY? FUCK YOUR IGNORANT ASS.
