Land of the Soviets: Communist hijinks. Tintin kills a bear and wears like a bajillion different outfits.
In the Congo: Actually, let’s forget about this one.
In America: Everyone in the Chicago mob wants to kill Tintin for some reason. Also cowboys.
Cigars of the Pharaoh: Drugs and crazy people. But at least Tintin knows how to speak elephant.
The Blue Lotus: Tintin makes friends with a Chinese orphan and kicks the ass of every stereotypically Japanese man within eye-shot. Some crazy dude wants to chop his head off.
The Broken Ear: Tintin goes to a South American country to look for some chipped idol that everyone forgets about halfway into the story. A lot of people die. Tintin gets drunk and it’s really funny.
The Black Island: Fighting gorillas. In Scotland. In a KILT.
The Ottokar’s Sceptre: Where Tintin tries to return someone’s briefcase and gets caught up in some bullshit conspiracy to overthrow a foreign monarchy.
The Crab with the Golden Claws: Introducing drunken fun-times with Captain Haddock.
The Shooting Star: Exploding mushrooms and giant spiders. Kind of like a bad acid trip made real.
Secret of the Unicorn: Tintin buys a model ship for his friend and gets kidnapped by two complete assholes. Also turns out Haddock is the descendant of some really cool guy who left behind a lot of treasure in the middle of the sea.
Red Rackham’s Treasure: Oops not the middle of the sea, we meant Marlinspike. Haddock gets bank and we meet Professor Calculus.
Seven Crystal Balls: Archaeologists get put into magical comas after someone throws their crystal balls at them. Calculus gets kidnapped by some angry Incans for wearing a bracelet.
Prisoners of the Sun: Tintin and Haddock go to South America to rescue Calculus. After a fantastic voyage in the jungle to find the professor the Incans respond by ordering them burned at the stake. Tintin plays god and they escape.
Land of the Black Gold: Tintin goes to uncover some bullshit between petrol companies and save the Emir’s son who is a little shitWHEN SUDDENLY HADDOCK OUT OF FUCKIN’ NOWHERE. The Thompsons ingest funky medicine that makes their hair grow and change color.
Destination Moon: Calculus nearly kills Haddock after the latter calls the former a goat. Tintin gets shot and Haddock breaks a chair. Moon shenanigans.
Explorers on the Moon: More moon shenanigans. Haddock gets shitfaced on the rocket and Tintin yells at him. It was a pretty funny story until they start running out of oxygen. Oh, and two people die.
The Calculus Affair: Professor Calculus makes a sweet machine that breaks glass and everyone wants it so he ends up getting kidnapped again. Tintin suddenly lives at Marlinspike now but still can’t drive a tank for shit. The enemy country’s flag has a mustache on it.
The Red Sea Sharks: Little shit Abdullah comes back to Marlinspike and Haddock and Tintin go to a country that wants them dead to avoid him. They end up finding out that slave trading still exists (Haddock particularly does not take it well). Also Piotr Skut being a total cutie pie.
Tintin in Tibet: Bromance everywhere. Too many close calls. Lots of ship fuel. You’ll cry. A lot.
The Castafiore Emerald: People keep falling down the stairs and Bianca Castafiore is flawless (as always).
Flight 714: ALIENS. Oh, and Skut is there too.
Tintin and the Picaros: Tintin and co. become part of a revolution so they can save Calculus’ girlfriend. Their carnival outfits looked really funny.
Tintin and Alph-Art: Herge died before he could finish this one so it leaves us off at this terrible cliffha
