The Bathtub Bastard

@just-bast-rp

A side account for @bathtub-bastard because I felt like joining in the role play, but didn’t want to do it on my response blog.

16 posts

Having sent @just-lamia-thoughts home after their date, Dravan took his time exploring around the forest he'd haunted for centuries. He avoided his family home, instead finding himself in the gardens of the manor without thinking. He frowned slightly as he sat on the edge of the fountain, dipping his fingers into the water as he lost himself in thought.

For @just-bast-rp, he'd be extremely useful for information on the developments of hell.

A dark fluid seeps into the fountain, forming a tall silhouette. It lifts a coin from the floor of the fountain, holding it in an elongated hand.

“I know this transaction is typically done in reverse, but halfpence for your thoughts?”

Dravan frowned for a moment as he stared at the shape. He realized what he was looking at and gasped.

"YOU!" he sat up, pointing accusingly at the humanoid shape in front of him with a glare, "what are you doing here?! She left you!"

Bast examines the coin like it’s a particularly interesting poem.

“I’m afraid I don’t know to what you’re referring.”

"Sephitus! Don't tell me she's taken you back after all that drama with the Naga woman and Zephyr. Even if she was interested, the woman went mad?!" He gestured pointedly up toward the windows of Sephitus's bedroom. "I thought you two split up years ago, why in gods name would you be back?"

Bast continues not elaborating and examining his coin, like staring deep into it is bound to reveal what wish was made, what wish someone only valued as half a pence.

“I go where I please. Most places would have great difficulty excluding myself.”

He flips the coin, watching it turn in the air before catching it again in his palm.

"If that's the case why are you sleeping with her again?" Dravan demanded, crossing his arms and looking rather like he was pouting.

“Why am I—what?”

Bast drops the coin, quickly regaining some semblance of composure.

“That is easily the most appalling insinuation I have ever heard, and last week I was reading old family memoirs.”

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Even I wouldn't touch her after she lost her mind. Crazy women can be good in bed, but she was near hysterical last time I saw her." He waved his hand vaguely.

"I wouldn't go as far as to say it's appalling. She is attractive, just crazy."

Bast resists the urge to coin a brand-new slur to use against straight people. Barely.

“Uh-huh,” he says, the way one does when trying to avoid an argument with a conspiracy theorist, “At any rate, I believe my cousin is still married.”

His eyes widened almost comically, "Cousin? Amelio?!" He suddenly looked ready to throttle the beast in front of him. He could remember her talking about her cousins a few times but Amelio had always been the one she complained about the most.

“For such a big man in hell, you’re frightfully dull. Don’t compare me to that jester.”

Bast takes a seat on the edge of the fountain, his form still flowing into the waters.

“Who I was is of little consequence, but if it will calm you, my relationship with your married ex is not and never was sexual in nature.”

"Sephitus only has two cousins and Sebastian died before I did." He scowled, "I don't care about who she beds. I-" he suddenly put his full attention on Bast, "how do you know about my position in hell? "

“I have ears. One doesn’t exactly amass as much power as you seem to have without being talked about.”

Bast sighs. “Maybe I’ll just leave this up to Wrath. Slow as they may be, they’ve clearly got the brains down there.”

"The sins don't even have proper vessels," he scoffed softly, seeming amused at the idea of any of them being able to complete a task, "and I have my doubts that any of them are strong enough to get back to hell if they've escaped it after being... Dormant for so long. "

“I suppose we’ll see. Unless, of course, you’d be willing to help me out with something. Though I suppose we’ll still see eventually by that route as well.”

From gods-know-where, Bast produces a small glass vial and starts twirling it between his fingers.

"You need help with something?" he looked at the vial and then shrugged, "Alright sure. What do you need?"

Bast tries not to look surprised at how easily the help was offered. He’s used to at least a little arm twisting, goading, or bargaining.

“Well, it’s really simple. I just need the contents of this vial emptied into the waters of hell. Any part of the water system, be it river, sea, or piping will do. And to quell your worries, it’s not poison, nor is it harmful to the ecosystems. Could you handle that for me?”

"It looks like you." He hummed, "What does it do? I can't put my people at risk, so you have to give me your word that you won't use this to hurt the demons of lust. "

“You can think of it as an… ear, so to speak. I’m a collector of sorts, but not of trophies or treasure. Those are worth little in the face of eternity. I collect knowledge.”

Bast sets the vial on the ledge around the fountain.

“I’m offering your kingdom a voice. The ability to be heard. A seat at the tables that write our world’s history books. I’m offering the world a chance to grow and advance, as it is sure to do when the knowledge of two peoples combine. And, of course, to you I’m offering my services as an informant. Do this for me, and as long as you’re near water, I’ll be but a tap and a whisper away.”

"Oh. Okay," he shrugged, taking the vial and slipping it into his pocket, "so I just put it in the water then? And you won't use it to hurt anyone in Lust?"

“You have my word.” Bast says, neglecting to mention how little his word is worth. “I’ll know when it’s done.”

He starts to drain back into the fountain.

"So what are you doing hanging around Sephitus?" He asked in an attempt to stop him from leaving, curious about the creature, "And if you aren't her lover why are you always in her bedroom?"

Bast sighs, rising again, his mass leaning against the fountain proper.

“If you must know, I was invited to dinner at the manor. From what I know of you, that’s more reason to be here than you have. And her quarters are the most private area in the building. She and I prefer to keep our discussions confidential.”

Having sent @just-lamia-thoughts home after their date, Dravan took his time exploring around the forest he'd haunted for centuries. He avoided his family home, instead finding himself in the gardens of the manor without thinking. He frowned slightly as he sat on the edge of the fountain, dipping his fingers into the water as he lost himself in thought.

For @just-bast-rp, he'd be extremely useful for information on the developments of hell.

A dark fluid seeps into the fountain, forming a tall silhouette. It lifts a coin from the floor of the fountain, holding it in an elongated hand.

“I know this transaction is typically done in reverse, but halfpence for your thoughts?”

Dravan frowned for a moment as he stared at the shape. He realized what he was looking at and gasped.

"YOU!" he sat up, pointing accusingly at the humanoid shape in front of him with a glare, "what are you doing here?! She left you!"

Bast examines the coin like it’s a particularly interesting poem.

“I’m afraid I don’t know to what you’re referring.”

"Sephitus! Don't tell me she's taken you back after all that drama with the Naga woman and Zephyr. Even if she was interested, the woman went mad?!" He gestured pointedly up toward the windows of Sephitus's bedroom. "I thought you two split up years ago, why in gods name would you be back?"

Bast continues not elaborating and examining his coin, like staring deep into it is bound to reveal what wish was made, what wish someone only valued as half a pence.

“I go where I please. Most places would have great difficulty excluding myself.”

He flips the coin, watching it turn in the air before catching it again in his palm.

"If that's the case why are you sleeping with her again?" Dravan demanded, crossing his arms and looking rather like he was pouting.

“Why am I—what?”

Bast drops the coin, quickly regaining some semblance of composure.

“That is easily the most appalling insinuation I have ever heard, and last week I was reading old family memoirs.”

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Even I wouldn't touch her after she lost her mind. Crazy women can be good in bed, but she was near hysterical last time I saw her." He waved his hand vaguely.

"I wouldn't go as far as to say it's appalling. She is attractive, just crazy."

Bast resists the urge to coin a brand-new slur to use against straight people. Barely.

“Uh-huh,” he says, the way one does when trying to avoid an argument with a conspiracy theorist, “At any rate, I believe my cousin is still married.”

His eyes widened almost comically, "Cousin? Amelio?!" He suddenly looked ready to throttle the beast in front of him. He could remember her talking about her cousins a few times but Amelio had always been the one she complained about the most.

“For such a big man in hell, you’re frightfully dull. Don’t compare me to that jester.”

Bast takes a seat on the edge of the fountain, his form still flowing into the waters.

“Who I was is of little consequence, but if it will calm you, my relationship with your married ex is not and never was sexual in nature.”

"Sephitus only has two cousins and Sebastian died before I did." He scowled, "I don't care about who she beds. I-" he suddenly put his full attention on Bast, "how do you know about my position in hell? "

“I have ears. One doesn’t exactly amass as much power as you seem to have without being talked about.”

Bast sighs. “Maybe I’ll just leave this up to Wrath. Slow as they may be, they’ve clearly got the brains down there.”

"The sins don't even have proper vessels," he scoffed softly, seeming amused at the idea of any of them being able to complete a task, "and I have my doubts that any of them are strong enough to get back to hell if they've escaped it after being... Dormant for so long. "

“I suppose we’ll see. Unless, of course, you’d be willing to help me out with something. Though I suppose we’ll still see eventually by that route as well.”

From gods-know-where, Bast produces a small glass vial and starts twirling it between his fingers.

"You need help with something?" he looked at the vial and then shrugged, "Alright sure. What do you need?"

Bast tries not to look surprised at how easily the help was offered. He’s used to at least a little arm twisting, goading, or bargaining.

“Well, it’s really simple. I just need the contents of this vial emptied into the waters of hell. Any part of the water system, be it river, sea, or piping will do. And to quell your worries, it’s not poison, nor is it harmful to the ecosystems. Could you handle that for me?”

"It looks like you." He hummed, "What does it do? I can't put my people at risk, so you have to give me your word that you won't use this to hurt the demons of lust. "

“You can think of it as an… ear, so to speak. I’m a collector of sorts, but not of trophies or treasure. Those are worth little in the face of eternity. I collect knowledge.”

Bast sets the vial on the ledge around the fountain.

“I’m offering your kingdom a voice. The ability to be heard. A seat at the tables that write our world’s history books. I’m offering the world a chance to grow and advance, as it is sure to do when the knowledge of two peoples combine. And, of course, to you I’m offering my services as an informant. Do this for me, and as long as you’re near water, I’ll be but a tap and a whisper away.”

"Oh. Okay," he shrugged, taking the vial and slipping it into his pocket, "so I just put it in the water then? And you won't use it to hurt anyone in Lust?"

“You have my word.” Bast says, neglecting to mention how little his word is worth. “I’ll know when it’s done.”

He starts to drain back into the fountain.

Having sent @just-lamia-thoughts home after their date, Dravan took his time exploring around the forest he'd haunted for centuries. He avoided his family home, instead finding himself in the gardens of the manor without thinking. He frowned slightly as he sat on the edge of the fountain, dipping his fingers into the water as he lost himself in thought.

For @just-bast-rp, he'd be extremely useful for information on the developments of hell.

A dark fluid seeps into the fountain, forming a tall silhouette. It lifts a coin from the floor of the fountain, holding it in an elongated hand.

“I know this transaction is typically done in reverse, but halfpence for your thoughts?”

Dravan frowned for a moment as he stared at the shape. He realized what he was looking at and gasped.

"YOU!" he sat up, pointing accusingly at the humanoid shape in front of him with a glare, "what are you doing here?! She left you!"

Bast examines the coin like it’s a particularly interesting poem.

“I’m afraid I don’t know to what you’re referring.”

"Sephitus! Don't tell me she's taken you back after all that drama with the Naga woman and Zephyr. Even if she was interested, the woman went mad?!" He gestured pointedly up toward the windows of Sephitus's bedroom. "I thought you two split up years ago, why in gods name would you be back?"

Bast continues not elaborating and examining his coin, like staring deep into it is bound to reveal what wish was made, what wish someone only valued as half a pence.

“I go where I please. Most places would have great difficulty excluding myself.”

He flips the coin, watching it turn in the air before catching it again in his palm.

"If that's the case why are you sleeping with her again?" Dravan demanded, crossing his arms and looking rather like he was pouting.

“Why am I—what?”

Bast drops the coin, quickly regaining some semblance of composure.

“That is easily the most appalling insinuation I have ever heard, and last week I was reading old family memoirs.”

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Even I wouldn't touch her after she lost her mind. Crazy women can be good in bed, but she was near hysterical last time I saw her." He waved his hand vaguely.

"I wouldn't go as far as to say it's appalling. She is attractive, just crazy."

Bast resists the urge to coin a brand-new slur to use against straight people. Barely.

“Uh-huh,” he says, the way one does when trying to avoid an argument with a conspiracy theorist, “At any rate, I believe my cousin is still married.”

His eyes widened almost comically, "Cousin? Amelio?!" He suddenly looked ready to throttle the beast in front of him. He could remember her talking about her cousins a few times but Amelio had always been the one she complained about the most.

“For such a big man in hell, you’re frightfully dull. Don’t compare me to that jester.”

Bast takes a seat on the edge of the fountain, his form still flowing into the waters.

“Who I was is of little consequence, but if it will calm you, my relationship with your married ex is not and never was sexual in nature.”

"Sephitus only has two cousins and Sebastian died before I did." He scowled, "I don't care about who she beds. I-" he suddenly put his full attention on Bast, "how do you know about my position in hell? "

“I have ears. One doesn’t exactly amass as much power as you seem to have without being talked about.”

Bast sighs. “Maybe I’ll just leave this up to Wrath. Slow as they may be, they’ve clearly got the brains down there.”

"The sins don't even have proper vessels," he scoffed softly, seeming amused at the idea of any of them being able to complete a task, "and I have my doubts that any of them are strong enough to get back to hell if they've escaped it after being... Dormant for so long. "

“I suppose we’ll see. Unless, of course, you’d be willing to help me out with something. Though I suppose we’ll still see eventually by that route as well.”

From gods-know-where, Bast produces a small glass vial and starts twirling it between his fingers.

"You need help with something?" he looked at the vial and then shrugged, "Alright sure. What do you need?"

Bast tries not to look surprised at how easily the help was offered. He’s used to at least a little arm twisting, goading, or bargaining.

“Well, it’s really simple. I just need the contents of this vial emptied into the waters of hell. Any part of the water system, be it river, sea, or piping will do. And to quell your worries, it’s not poison, nor is it harmful to the ecosystems. Could you handle that for me?”

"It looks like you." He hummed, "What does it do? I can't put my people at risk, so you have to give me your word that you won't use this to hurt the demons of lust. "

“You can think of it as an… ear, so to speak. I’m a collector of sorts, but not of trophies or treasure. Those are worth little in the face of eternity. I collect knowledge.”

Bast sets the vial on the ledge around the fountain.

“I’m offering your kingdom a voice. The ability to be heard. A seat at the tables that write our world’s history books. I’m offering the world a chance to grow and advance, as it is sure to do when the knowledge of two peoples combine. And, of course, to you I’m offering my services as an informant. Do this for me, and as long as you’re near water, I’ll be but a tap and a whisper away.”

#shower rp #Sometimes Sebastian isn’t lying to people. When he thinks telling the truth will get him what he wants.

Having sent @just-lamia-thoughts home after their date, Dravan took his time exploring around the forest he'd haunted for centuries. He avoided his family home, instead finding himself in the gardens of the manor without thinking. He frowned slightly as he sat on the edge of the fountain, dipping his fingers into the water as he lost himself in thought.

For @just-bast-rp, he'd be extremely useful for information on the developments of hell.

A dark fluid seeps into the fountain, forming a tall silhouette. It lifts a coin from the floor of the fountain, holding it in an elongated hand.

“I know this transaction is typically done in reverse, but halfpence for your thoughts?”

Dravan frowned for a moment as he stared at the shape. He realized what he was looking at and gasped.

"YOU!" he sat up, pointing accusingly at the humanoid shape in front of him with a glare, "what are you doing here?! She left you!"

Bast examines the coin like it’s a particularly interesting poem.

“I’m afraid I don’t know to what you’re referring.”

"Sephitus! Don't tell me she's taken you back after all that drama with the Naga woman and Zephyr. Even if she was interested, the woman went mad?!" He gestured pointedly up toward the windows of Sephitus's bedroom. "I thought you two split up years ago, why in gods name would you be back?"

Bast continues not elaborating and examining his coin, like staring deep into it is bound to reveal what wish was made, what wish someone only valued as half a pence.

“I go where I please. Most places would have great difficulty excluding myself.”

He flips the coin, watching it turn in the air before catching it again in his palm.

"If that's the case why are you sleeping with her again?" Dravan demanded, crossing his arms and looking rather like he was pouting.

“Why am I—what?”

Bast drops the coin, quickly regaining some semblance of composure.

“That is easily the most appalling insinuation I have ever heard, and last week I was reading old family memoirs.”

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Even I wouldn't touch her after she lost her mind. Crazy women can be good in bed, but she was near hysterical last time I saw her." He waved his hand vaguely.

"I wouldn't go as far as to say it's appalling. She is attractive, just crazy."

Bast resists the urge to coin a brand-new slur to use against straight people. Barely.

“Uh-huh,” he says, the way one does when trying to avoid an argument with a conspiracy theorist, “At any rate, I believe my cousin is still married.”

His eyes widened almost comically, "Cousin? Amelio?!" He suddenly looked ready to throttle the beast in front of him. He could remember her talking about her cousins a few times but Amelio had always been the one she complained about the most.

“For such a big man in hell, you’re frightfully dull. Don’t compare me to that jester.”

Bast takes a seat on the edge of the fountain, his form still flowing into the waters.

“Who I was is of little consequence, but if it will calm you, my relationship with your married ex is not and never was sexual in nature.”

"Sephitus only has two cousins and Sebastian died before I did." He scowled, "I don't care about who she beds. I-" he suddenly put his full attention on Bast, "how do you know about my position in hell? "

“I have ears. One doesn’t exactly amass as much power as you seem to have without being talked about.”

Bast sighs. “Maybe I’ll just leave this up to Wrath. Slow as they may be, they’ve clearly got the brains down there.”

"The sins don't even have proper vessels," he scoffed softly, seeming amused at the idea of any of them being able to complete a task, "and I have my doubts that any of them are strong enough to get back to hell if they've escaped it after being... Dormant for so long. "

“I suppose we’ll see. Unless, of course, you’d be willing to help me out with something. Though I suppose we’ll still see eventually by that route as well.”

From gods-know-where, Bast produces a small glass vial and starts twirling it between his fingers.

"You need help with something?" he looked at the vial and then shrugged, "Alright sure. What do you need?"

Bast tries not to look surprised at how easily the help was offered. He’s used to at least a little arm twisting, goading, or bargaining.

“Well, it’s really simple. I just need the contents of this vial emptied into the waters of hell. Any part of the water system, be it river, sea, or piping will do. And to quell your worries, it’s not poison, nor is it harmful to the ecosystems. Could you handle that for me?”

Having sent @just-lamia-thoughts home after their date, Dravan took his time exploring around the forest he'd haunted for centuries. He avoided his family home, instead finding himself in the gardens of the manor without thinking. He frowned slightly as he sat on the edge of the fountain, dipping his fingers into the water as he lost himself in thought.

For @just-bast-rp, he'd be extremely useful for information on the developments of hell.

A dark fluid seeps into the fountain, forming a tall silhouette. It lifts a coin from the floor of the fountain, holding it in an elongated hand.

“I know this transaction is typically done in reverse, but halfpence for your thoughts?”

Dravan frowned for a moment as he stared at the shape. He realized what he was looking at and gasped.

"YOU!" he sat up, pointing accusingly at the humanoid shape in front of him with a glare, "what are you doing here?! She left you!"

Bast examines the coin like it’s a particularly interesting poem.

“I’m afraid I don’t know to what you’re referring.”

"Sephitus! Don't tell me she's taken you back after all that drama with the Naga woman and Zephyr. Even if she was interested, the woman went mad?!" He gestured pointedly up toward the windows of Sephitus's bedroom. "I thought you two split up years ago, why in gods name would you be back?"

Bast continues not elaborating and examining his coin, like staring deep into it is bound to reveal what wish was made, what wish someone only valued as half a pence.

“I go where I please. Most places would have great difficulty excluding myself.”

He flips the coin, watching it turn in the air before catching it again in his palm.

"If that's the case why are you sleeping with her again?" Dravan demanded, crossing his arms and looking rather like he was pouting.

“Why am I—what?”

Bast drops the coin, quickly regaining some semblance of composure.

“That is easily the most appalling insinuation I have ever heard, and last week I was reading old family memoirs.”

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Even I wouldn't touch her after she lost her mind. Crazy women can be good in bed, but she was near hysterical last time I saw her." He waved his hand vaguely.

"I wouldn't go as far as to say it's appalling. She is attractive, just crazy."

Bast resists the urge to coin a brand-new slur to use against straight people. Barely.

“Uh-huh,” he says, the way one does when trying to avoid an argument with a conspiracy theorist, “At any rate, I believe my cousin is still married.”

His eyes widened almost comically, "Cousin? Amelio?!" He suddenly looked ready to throttle the beast in front of him. He could remember her talking about her cousins a few times but Amelio had always been the one she complained about the most.

“For such a big man in hell, you’re frightfully dull. Don’t compare me to that jester.”

Bast takes a seat on the edge of the fountain, his form still flowing into the waters.

“Who I was is of little consequence, but if it will calm you, my relationship with your married ex is not and never was sexual in nature.”

"Sephitus only has two cousins and Sebastian died before I did." He scowled, "I don't care about who she beds. I-" he suddenly put his full attention on Bast, "how do you know about my position in hell? "

“I have ears. One doesn’t exactly amass as much power as you seem to have without being talked about.”

Bast sighs. “Maybe I’ll just leave this up to Wrath. Slow as they may be, they’ve clearly got the brains down there.”

"The sins don't even have proper vessels," he scoffed softly, seeming amused at the idea of any of them being able to complete a task, "and I have my doubts that any of them are strong enough to get back to hell if they've escaped it after being... Dormant for so long. "

“I suppose we’ll see. Unless, of course, you’d be willing to help me out with something. Though I suppose we’ll still see eventually by that route as well.”

From gods-know-where, Bast produces a small glass vial and starts twirling it between his fingers.

Having sent @just-lamia-thoughts home after their date, Dravan took his time exploring around the forest he'd haunted for centuries. He avoided his family home, instead finding himself in the gardens of the manor without thinking. He frowned slightly as he sat on the edge of the fountain, dipping his fingers into the water as he lost himself in thought.

For @just-bast-rp, he'd be extremely useful for information on the developments of hell.

A dark fluid seeps into the fountain, forming a tall silhouette. It lifts a coin from the floor of the fountain, holding it in an elongated hand.

“I know this transaction is typically done in reverse, but halfpence for your thoughts?”

Dravan frowned for a moment as he stared at the shape. He realized what he was looking at and gasped.

"YOU!" he sat up, pointing accusingly at the humanoid shape in front of him with a glare, "what are you doing here?! She left you!"

Bast examines the coin like it’s a particularly interesting poem.

“I’m afraid I don’t know to what you’re referring.”

"Sephitus! Don't tell me she's taken you back after all that drama with the Naga woman and Zephyr. Even if she was interested, the woman went mad?!" He gestured pointedly up toward the windows of Sephitus's bedroom. "I thought you two split up years ago, why in gods name would you be back?"

Bast continues not elaborating and examining his coin, like staring deep into it is bound to reveal what wish was made, what wish someone only valued as half a pence.

“I go where I please. Most places would have great difficulty excluding myself.”

He flips the coin, watching it turn in the air before catching it again in his palm.

"If that's the case why are you sleeping with her again?" Dravan demanded, crossing his arms and looking rather like he was pouting.

“Why am I—what?”

Bast drops the coin, quickly regaining some semblance of composure.

“That is easily the most appalling insinuation I have ever heard, and last week I was reading old family memoirs.”

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Even I wouldn't touch her after she lost her mind. Crazy women can be good in bed, but she was near hysterical last time I saw her." He waved his hand vaguely.

"I wouldn't go as far as to say it's appalling. She is attractive, just crazy."

Bast resists the urge to coin a brand-new slur to use against straight people. Barely.

“Uh-huh,” he says, the way one does when trying to avoid an argument with a conspiracy theorist, “At any rate, I believe my cousin is still married.”

His eyes widened almost comically, "Cousin? Amelio?!" He suddenly looked ready to throttle the beast in front of him. He could remember her talking about her cousins a few times but Amelio had always been the one she complained about the most.

“For such a big man in hell, you’re frightfully dull. Don’t compare me to that jester.”

Bast takes a seat on the edge of the fountain, his form still flowing into the waters.

“Who I was is of little consequence, but if it will calm you, my relationship with your married ex is not and never was sexual in nature.”

"Sephitus only has two cousins and Sebastian died before I did." He scowled, "I don't care about who she beds. I-" he suddenly put his full attention on Bast, "how do you know about my position in hell? "

“I have ears. One doesn’t exactly amass as much power as you seem to have without being talked about.”

Bast sighs. “Maybe I’ll just leave this up to Wrath. Slow as they may be, they’ve clearly got the brains down there.”

#shower rp #Dravan be like: you can’t be Sebastian because he died before I did #As if he himself isn’t also perfectly fine some 7 centuries after dying.

Having sent @just-lamia-thoughts home after their date, Dravan took his time exploring around the forest he'd haunted for centuries. He avoided his family home, instead finding himself in the gardens of the manor without thinking. He frowned slightly as he sat on the edge of the fountain, dipping his fingers into the water as he lost himself in thought.

For @just-bast-rp, he'd be extremely useful for information on the developments of hell.

A dark fluid seeps into the fountain, forming a tall silhouette. It lifts a coin from the floor of the fountain, holding it in an elongated hand.

“I know this transaction is typically done in reverse, but halfpence for your thoughts?”

Dravan frowned for a moment as he stared at the shape. He realized what he was looking at and gasped.

"YOU!" he sat up, pointing accusingly at the humanoid shape in front of him with a glare, "what are you doing here?! She left you!"

Bast examines the coin like it’s a particularly interesting poem.

“I’m afraid I don’t know to what you’re referring.”

"Sephitus! Don't tell me she's taken you back after all that drama with the Naga woman and Zephyr. Even if she was interested, the woman went mad?!" He gestured pointedly up toward the windows of Sephitus's bedroom. "I thought you two split up years ago, why in gods name would you be back?"

Bast continues not elaborating and examining his coin, like staring deep into it is bound to reveal what wish was made, what wish someone only valued as half a pence.

“I go where I please. Most places would have great difficulty excluding myself.”

He flips the coin, watching it turn in the air before catching it again in his palm.

"If that's the case why are you sleeping with her again?" Dravan demanded, crossing his arms and looking rather like he was pouting.

“Why am I—what?”

Bast drops the coin, quickly regaining some semblance of composure.

“That is easily the most appalling insinuation I have ever heard, and last week I was reading old family memoirs.”

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Even I wouldn't touch her after she lost her mind. Crazy women can be good in bed, but she was near hysterical last time I saw her." He waved his hand vaguely.

"I wouldn't go as far as to say it's appalling. She is attractive, just crazy."

Bast resists the urge to coin a brand-new slur to use against straight people. Barely.

“Uh-huh,” he says, the way one does when trying to avoid an argument with a conspiracy theorist, “At any rate, I believe my cousin is still married.”

His eyes widened almost comically, "Cousin? Amelio?!" He suddenly looked ready to throttle the beast in front of him. He could remember her talking about her cousins a few times but Amelio had always been the one she complained about the most.

“For such a big man in hell, you’re frightfully dull. Don’t compare me to that jester.”

Bast takes a seat on the edge of the fountain, his form still flowing into the waters.

“Who I was is of little consequence, but if it will calm you, my relationship with your married ex is not and never was sexual in nature.”

Having sent @just-lamia-thoughts home after their date, Dravan took his time exploring around the forest he'd haunted for centuries. He avoided his family home, instead finding himself in the gardens of the manor without thinking. He frowned slightly as he sat on the edge of the fountain, dipping his fingers into the water as he lost himself in thought.

For @just-bast-rp, he'd be extremely useful for information on the developments of hell.

A dark fluid seeps into the fountain, forming a tall silhouette. It lifts a coin from the floor of the fountain, holding it in an elongated hand.

“I know this transaction is typically done in reverse, but halfpence for your thoughts?”

Dravan frowned for a moment as he stared at the shape. He realized what he was looking at and gasped.

"YOU!" he sat up, pointing accusingly at the humanoid shape in front of him with a glare, "what are you doing here?! She left you!"

Bast examines the coin like it’s a particularly interesting poem.

“I’m afraid I don’t know to what you’re referring.”

"Sephitus! Don't tell me she's taken you back after all that drama with the Naga woman and Zephyr. Even if she was interested, the woman went mad?!" He gestured pointedly up toward the windows of Sephitus's bedroom. "I thought you two split up years ago, why in gods name would you be back?"

Bast continues not elaborating and examining his coin, like staring deep into it is bound to reveal what wish was made, what wish someone only valued as half a pence.

“I go where I please. Most places would have great difficulty excluding myself.”

He flips the coin, watching it turn in the air before catching it again in his palm.

"If that's the case why are you sleeping with her again?" Dravan demanded, crossing his arms and looking rather like he was pouting.

“Why am I—what?”

Bast drops the coin, quickly regaining some semblance of composure.

“That is easily the most appalling insinuation I have ever heard, and last week I was reading old family memoirs.”

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Even I wouldn't touch her after she lost her mind. Crazy women can be good in bed, but she was near hysterical last time I saw her." He waved his hand vaguely.

"I wouldn't go as far as to say it's appalling. She is attractive, just crazy."

Bast resists the urge to coin a brand-new slur to use against straight people. Barely.

“Uh-huh,” he says, the way one does when trying to avoid an argument with a conspiracy theorist, “At any rate, I believe my cousin is still married.”

Having sent @just-lamia-thoughts home after their date, Dravan took his time exploring around the forest he'd haunted for centuries. He avoided his family home, instead finding himself in the gardens of the manor without thinking. He frowned slightly as he sat on the edge of the fountain, dipping his fingers into the water as he lost himself in thought.

For @just-bast-rp, he'd be extremely useful for information on the developments of hell.

A dark fluid seeps into the fountain, forming a tall silhouette. It lifts a coin from the floor of the fountain, holding it in an elongated hand.

“I know this transaction is typically done in reverse, but halfpence for your thoughts?”

Dravan frowned for a moment as he stared at the shape. He realized what he was looking at and gasped.

"YOU!" he sat up, pointing accusingly at the humanoid shape in front of him with a glare, "what are you doing here?! She left you!"

Bast examines the coin like it’s a particularly interesting poem.

“I’m afraid I don’t know to what you’re referring.”

"Sephitus! Don't tell me she's taken you back after all that drama with the Naga woman and Zephyr. Even if she was interested, the woman went mad?!" He gestured pointedly up toward the windows of Sephitus's bedroom. "I thought you two split up years ago, why in gods name would you be back?"

Bast continues not elaborating and examining his coin, like staring deep into it is bound to reveal what wish was made, what wish someone only valued as half a pence.

“I go where I please. Most places would have great difficulty excluding myself.”

He flips the coin, watching it turn in the air before catching it again in his palm.

"If that's the case why are you sleeping with her again?" Dravan demanded, crossing his arms and looking rather like he was pouting.

“Why am I—what?”

Bast drops the coin, quickly regaining some semblance of composure.

“That is easily the most appalling insinuation I have ever heard, and last week I was reading old family memoirs.”

Having sent @just-lamia-thoughts home after their date, Dravan took his time exploring around the forest he'd haunted for centuries. He avoided his family home, instead finding himself in the gardens of the manor without thinking. He frowned slightly as he sat on the edge of the fountain, dipping his fingers into the water as he lost himself in thought.

For @just-bast-rp, he'd be extremely useful for information on the developments of hell.

A dark fluid seeps into the fountain, forming a tall silhouette. It lifts a coin from the floor of the fountain, holding it in an elongated hand.

“I know this transaction is typically done in reverse, but halfpence for your thoughts?”

Dravan frowned for a moment as he stared at the shape. He realized what he was looking at and gasped.

"YOU!" he sat up, pointing accusingly at the humanoid shape in front of him with a glare, "what are you doing here?! She left you!"

Bast examines the coin like it’s a particularly interesting poem.

“I’m afraid I don’t know to what you’re referring.”

"Sephitus! Don't tell me she's taken you back after all that drama with the Naga woman and Zephyr. Even if she was interested, the woman went mad?!" He gestured pointedly up toward the windows of Sephitus's bedroom. "I thought you two split up years ago, why in gods name would you be back?"

Bast continues not elaborating and examining his coin, like staring deep into it is bound to reveal what wish was made, what wish someone only valued as half a pence.

“I go where I please. Most places would have great difficulty excluding myself.”

He flips the coin, watching it turn in the air before catching it again in his palm.

Having sent @just-lamia-thoughts home after their date, Dravan took his time exploring around the forest he'd haunted for centuries. He avoided his family home, instead finding himself in the gardens of the manor without thinking. He frowned slightly as he sat on the edge of the fountain, dipping his fingers into the water as he lost himself in thought.

For @just-bast-rp, he'd be extremely useful for information on the developments of hell.

A dark fluid seeps into the fountain, forming a tall silhouette. It lifts a coin from the floor of the fountain, holding it in an elongated hand.

“I know this transaction is typically done in reverse, but halfpence for your thoughts?”

Dravan frowned for a moment as he stared at the shape. He realized what he was looking at and gasped.

"YOU!" he sat up, pointing accusingly at the humanoid shape in front of him with a glare, "what are you doing here?! She left you!"

Bast examines the coin like it’s a particularly interesting poem.

“I’m afraid I don’t know to what you’re referring.”

Having sent @just-lamia-thoughts home after their date, Dravan took his time exploring around the forest he'd haunted for centuries. He avoided his family home, instead finding himself in the gardens of the manor without thinking. He frowned slightly as he sat on the edge of the fountain, dipping his fingers into the water as he lost himself in thought.

For @just-bast-rp, he'd be extremely useful for information on the developments of hell.

A dark fluid seeps into the fountain, forming a tall silhouette. It lifts a coin from the floor of the fountain, holding it in an elongated hand.

“I know this transaction is typically done in reverse, but halfpence for your thoughts?”

just-bathbomb-rp

*Having returned from the funeral and officially taken over as Duchess again, Bathbomb makes a point of inviting the eldests to a dinner together. @just-camilla, @just-petty-rp, and @just-spine. Hopefully at least one of them will show up for a little introduction to her cousin, @just-bast-rp.*

A gurgling from within the walls announces the first arrival of the evening. Sure enough, within a minute something dark oozes under the door. Pulling himself upright, Bast says, “Oh dear, I seem to have missed dinner. My sincerest apologies. We’ll try again next century.” He reaches for the door handle.

just-bathbomb-rp

"Oh no you don't! Youre the first one here, and I'm willing to bet you already knew that. Sit down." She rushes to the door to block it even though he could easily get around her, "you're doing this. "

“Fine.” Bast crosses his arms as he turns around, shifting into the body of a young adult, with messy blond hair and regal clothes several centuries out of fashion. He sits at the table. “But that doesn’t mean I’ll be playing nice.”

just-bathbomb-rp

She frowns at the appearal. "You really need to update your wardrobe. You look like you're going to a reenactment. "

“Yes, let me just head to the tailor, who is going to have an extremely normal reaction when I explain that the clothing must be able to melt and solidify at will.” Bast adjusts the purple coat. “Besides. I like it.”

just-bathbomb-rp

"Whatever you say old man... Are you nervous about meeting them?"

“Such emotions are beneath me.” Bast says, turning his nose up and not answering the question.

just-bathbomb-rp

"Terrified, got it. This will be good for you, you know that right? You need to have people other than me around. I might be immortal, but I'm not invincible. If I die, I don't want you being alone. "

“‘Alone’. As if I don’t intimately know everything that happens here. I’m the least ‘alone’ in this entire kingdom.”

just-bathbomb-rp

"You know what's going on, but that doesn't mean you have companionship. I'm your only friend, and that's saying something considering you constantly try to kill me. "

“Don’t flatter yourself. I try to kill a lot of people.”

just-bathbomb-rp

"Exactly my point. I'm not special to you, and yet I'm your only companion. The only one that actually knows you anymore."

There’s a cough from the doorway “Um, hi. Am I interrupting anything?”

Bast straightens in his chair, pushing his hair back with one hand. “Not at all, Petty.”

“Uuuhh huh. And who are you?”

just-bathbomb-rp

"This is my cousin. " she smiled at petty, "please, sit. I'm sure the others will be here soon"

"I don't like your cousin Momma," Camilla teleported into the room, popping up next to Bast, "he looks funny"

“Truly you take after your mother.” Bast adjusts his coat again. “This was the height of fashion in my day.”

"Your day passed a long time ago then, yeah?" She smiled sweetly, "Soooo are you my Great-Grand Cousin?"

just-bathbomb-rp

"First cousin once removed actually."

“Same to me, right?” Petty sits down opposite Bast

“Yes. By both blood and law.”

"Well, I like Great-Grand more. Sounds...funnier," she smiled and waved happily at Petty, "I haven't seen you in forever!"

just-bathbomb-rp

"Whatever makes you happy darling.... Bast's father and mine were brothers. We grew up together. "

Petty smiles at Camilla, waving back “Hi, yeah, I’ve been… busy”

Bast starts to drum his fingers on the table.

"I noticed," she looked over at Bast, "just how old are you? Are you a vampire like Mom?"

just-bathbomb-rp

"Camilla, don't be rude. You shouldn't ask things like that, "

“Yeah, it’s true, that’s rude, but also, how old are you? How’d you get here?”

“I am not a vampire. Only a year younger than Seph, and it’s complicated.” Bast looks upwards, as if counting internally. “I believe that was all the questions.”

just-bathbomb-rp

"Both of you need to mind your manners! " she scowls at them, "he isn't here to be interrogated. I thought I raised you better. "

"Well, you didn't exactly raise me," she shrugged, "and I....didn't really get taught manners either way Mom"

Petty sits back, staring at Bast “I was taught manners. But I thought you would’ve told us about your seven hundred year old cousin at some point, unless there’s something to hide”

just-bathbomb-rp

"Blame him for that! I've been trying to get you two in the same room again for nearly 15 years!"

Bast grins. Tempers are rising, yes, this is a situation he can navigate. “Temperamental as always, cousin,” he chastises Sephitus. “Truly you and your wife are fleas in a pod now. And child,” he turns to Petty, “you truly don’t remember me? And after all those games of chess, too.”

Camilla frowned. "Don't talk about my Momma like that," she spat.

just-bathbomb-rp

"Camilla... He doesn't mean like that. He's not insulting her. He's just trying to rile us up."

“What chess games? I’ve played chess before, I don’t remember playing with someone dressed like a cosplayer when I waa younger.”

Bast shrugs at the duchess. “Old habits, I suppose.” Then he turns back to Petty. “Maybe you’ll recognize this side of me better.”

All the color seems to drain from his body, then he gets darker, as if the shadows of the night were surrounding him like a cloak. Except for his eyes, which fade into a pearly white. When the darkness is thick enough that his features can no longer be made out, he reverts completely to his natural form, a vaguely humanoid tar-like substance with plain white eyes.

just-bathbomb-rp

"Oh for fucks sake," she sighs and lies her head in her hands, "if you stain anything I'll murder you, goop boy. I swear I'll find away. "

Camilla hissed at Bast, scooting away from him. "Why are you just...letting him insult Momma and mess with Petty?!"

“Insult?” Bast gasps in mock shock before turning to Sephitus. “You mean you still haven’t figured it out?”

“Could someone please start talking sense? I feel like this conversation is a fucking chess game, and I can’t keep up”

just-bathbomb-rp

"I'm not sure what he's on about this time either, " she groans softly, "he speaks in bloody riddles all the time. This is why you don't have any friends Bast. "

She glared at Bast and Duchess, "Stop being so secretive and cryptid, and just say what's going on!"

“Cryptic, child,” Bast says, clarifying the least confusing part of the conversation, “And I’ll tell you what. As a show of my kindness, I’ll answer a question for each of you, no riddles, no lies, no games. How’s that sound?”

just-bathbomb-rp

"Oh so you can't give me a straight answer for the past few centuries but they get questions answered no games? Surprised you're capable of that"

“Yes. Who’s question is next?” Bast grinned.

just-bathbomb-rp

"OH ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Fuck you, Sebastian! I wish you drank the poison sometimes, you know that?"

“I am not. And I do know that. Two more answers, just for you. Aren’t I generous? Now give the children a turn.”

Petty raises her hand “Yeah, I have a question. Who are you? A detailed answer would be preferable”

“My name is, er, was Sebastian Reginald Lianidus Edward Alexander Charles Williamson the Third, give or take a few names. Nowadays I go by Bast. I was the prince, in line for the throne so many centuries ago. Not that I ever wanted it. I just wanted to be left to my studies. Then I was cursed into what you see before you—” Bast gestures to his form “—and got to do just that. Curiosity placated?”

last-responder-rp

@just-bast-rp

*Last looks around his small garden. It's still a mess after his latest long absence and a lot of work needs doing. He walks over the well drops the bucket in, holding the rope tight*

"Let's see, I don't have any pipes but who knows? Maybe this will work" he says as he taps the bucket against the side.

"I hear this is the easiest way to contact you these days? And that you like to be called Bast? Well I'm the last man on earth to refuse such a change, in anycase, I hear your the one talk to about the latest courtly gossip?"

A minute passes. Then another. Slowly, the water inside the well seems to go black, then starts to rise until Bast’s shapeless figure was emerging from it.

He seems to smile, his eyes remaining cold and hard. “Alistair. I’ve been waiting for you to call.”

last-responder-rp

Last suddenly tensed up suddenly, raising his hand for silence. He listened intently for a moment but there was nothing but the sound of the wind in the trees. After a prolonged paused he seemed to relax a fraction.

"I must insist you show me the same courtesy I have shown you. Call me Last and forget the other name entirely, there are... individuals listening for that name, things even you wouldn't want to invite in to your life"

He sighed and seemed to relax a little and said "where are my manners? Can I offer you a drink? Some thing to eat maybe? Do you still eat old friend?

“I eat when it suits my fancy.” Bast looks around at their surroundings with mild disinterest. “I don’t suppose you have any tea? I just adore having some tea as I speak business.”

last-responder-rp

"Tea? Tea I can mange, but no milk. I'm afraid I haven't had a chance to restock the cupboards yet and it's not as if I know how long I'll be staying"

He busys himself with the kettle and asks absentmindedly "how are you fairing my friend?"

Despite the tone and the relaxed air any who knew him well could have seen he was on edge

“Need we engage in pleasantries?” Bast says, disgusted by the concept of small talk. “You and I both know that you didn’t go through all the trouble of calling me here so we could discuss the weather and your grocery shopping.”

He pauses for a second. “And I prefer my tea without milk anyway.”

last-responder-rp

"Is it so hard to believe that I might just want to reconnect with an old friend?" He says handing Bast a tea "but I can't lie to you, I am interested to know if there have any rumours circulating about me in the higher courts of the Good Neighbours"

“Oh, no no no.” Bast took a sip of the tea. “Now I think you know how this works. I don’t give out information just for free. Tell me something I’ve yet to know, and then I will answer the question.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

After coming up through the bathtub drain, Bast pulls himself into his human form. He cracks his neck. “God, it’s been a while.”

He slips from the bathroom into the Duchess’s chambers, creeping up beside her bed, and grabbing a pillow.

Preparing to place it over her face, he whispers, “Oh Sephy, I’m back.”

*she woke almost immediately, pushing at the pillow weakly to try and get it off. She looked pale, even for a vampire. Her face was gaunt and she looked to be extremely tired* You should know better than to try and smother someone that doesn't need to breathe *she shifted so the pillow wasn't fully covering her face* it's good to see you again Sebastian. I was almost worried you'd gotten yourself lost in the ocean again.

“Firstly, it’s Bast now. You know that. Secondly, I’ve been working on something. Thirdly, the ocean thing was one time. And four—” he finally seems to notice her appearance and stops himself mid-tirade “—Have you done something new with your hair? You look positively haggard.”

Knowing Bast, it’s unclear whether that was a compliment or an insult. He lets the pillow fall to the side.

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Right right, Bastard, whatever.

Ugh *she groans softly, sitting up* giving birth will do that to you I suppose. Petty is mad at me so I don't have access to blood at the moment and healing is a much slower process.

“You know I’d offer, but—” Bast holds up his hands and lets them melt away. “Could I treat you to a cup of tea instead? I’ve overheard quite a bit about you lately, but I have always preferred my news straight from the corpse’s mouth.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Something stronger than tea would be preferred honestly. Withdrawal is a bitch... There's not too much to tell. My wife left me, I developed an addiction to ecstasy, and had two new little bastards. I'm sure you'll love them, your new second cousins.

“Oh yes, I’m well known for my love of ankle biters.” Bast’s voice was dripping with sarcasm. Then he paused, thinking back to the first of Sephitus’s adoptees. His face softened. “I’d like to meet them, someday.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

It'd be nice for you to meet any of the younger generation... I'm a mother of five now you know. And you've yet to meet any of my children.

“I’ve been busy.” Bast looks down, then sits on the side of the bed. “And I was never in love with the limelight. You know that.” He chuckles softly, still a terrible sound to hear.

just-bathbomb-thoughts

*she smiles fondly anyways* yeah... Yeah, I know. You turned into a pile of sludge to avoid being in the light... I could have them brought in. Just so you can look at them? They're like a month old right now...

“Don’t start talking like you’re on your deathbed already. You’re not escaping me that easily.” He paused. “You’re sure I’m not going to frighten the tots?” Bast drops his human facade, seemingly melting into shapeless darkness.

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Oh I'm not dying, I'm just healing very slowly. *she chuckled softly, getting up and walking across the room to a vanity to tie up her hair* they're babies. They might cry but I don't think it'll be scarring. And if they're used to you while young, you should be able to see them without scaring them as they grow up.

“Perfect. More time around children. My absolute favorite. I tell you, if it was anyone else. . .” He lets the sentence hang in the air as he repositions himself on the bed.

just-bathbomb-thoughts

*she smiles at him gently* Camilla and the twins are the only children... My step son is an adult now, and he has his own son. And Petty is 18 now. *she looks a little sad* Petty is... I think she'd like you. I think you'd scare her though. She's seen you before when she was little. Used to ask me about you when she was a child.

“I remember her. Heard us talking and thought the bathroom was haunted. I wonder if she remembers. . . Mortals don’t have the greatest memories at eight years old.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

We have very few years in which we have good memories. The brain can only take so much... I can arrange for you to meet her too if you'd like. We can have all the family get together for a short meeting so they know who you are.

“If they can keep a secret. . . I don’t want the entire noble class to know about me, you know. Or, at the least, I don’t want any of them to know anyone else knows about me. Can you imagine? You lot might stop putting plumbing in your buildings, and then where would I be?”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Ugh, no never. I'd never allow them to stop putting running water in their buildings. We can just... Not tell them about your abilities.

“That’ll work, I suppose. Though we might want to wait until you are well. I get the sense that you’re not fit for a gathering. And I never like to go into one completely unprepared.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

I'll be sure to warn everyone. You're quite a sight to those who aren't familiar with you

“Wow, really? I had no idea. And here I thought it was my personality that was driving people away for the past seven centuries.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

*she snorts softly, looking back at him* don't tell them it's been seven. I'd rather people not know quite how old I am. They'll think I'm going senile every time I mess up something

“Aren’t you?” Bast teases, ducking preemptively in case she throws something at him, “But I’ll keep your secret. I’d never tell a lady’s age.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

*she threw a hairbrush at him, glaring playfully* I have at least another century before I can be classed as senile you ass. Still such a prick, sometimes I wish you did disappear for real, then I wouldn't have to deal with your mouth.

“Oh, you know you’d miss me. Forever is a long time to live without your favorite cousin.” Bast oozes off the side of the bed to stand behind the Duchess.

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Mmm, perhaps, maybe. But I don't know if forever is in the cards for me anymore Bast... I think I'm tired... I've put Petty in charge of the dukedom while I recover... Maybe it's time I step down completely...

“Seems I’ve been away longer than I thought. The Duchess I remember spoke like she wouldn’t talk like that for millennia. Once you heal fully you’ll feel right as pain, I’m sure.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

I believe the phrase is 'right as rain' *she seemed a little amused, but mostly tired* I... I know you don't understand what its like to be truly in love with someone. No one really ever gave you the chance to marry or develop that type of relationship. At least I'm assuming as much... But I loved her. And I really fucked up everything... And it all went wrong so fast. Nora is dead because of me. I don't want to lose everything again like this.

Bast is unusually silent for a moment, lost in thought.

“Well it’s not too late yet. You could still fix this. You’re Sephitus Bathbomb for fuck’s sake! Since when have you given up because the odds were against you? Because it hasn’t happened in my memory. In fact, I happen to recall a prophecy I found recently that might just have been referring to you.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

*she rolls her eyes, smiling at him again* prophecy you say? Can't think of any of those I've enjoyed in the last century. Come, tell me about it as we check on my new little bastards?

Bast offers an arm to help her stand. “Let’s see. . . It went something like this.” He clears his throat and recites.

“All is not lost, it is only the blood

“Forgiveness is real and so is her love

“The eldest among them is holding the key

“That unlocks the peace for eternity.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Is that the words, or are you twisting them to make them rhyme again? *she smiles and stands with his help, leading him down the hallway to the nursery.

Bast gasps in mock offense. “As if I would have intentionally rhymed ‘blood’ and ‘love’! You insult my poetic integrity.

“To be honest, I couldn’t make heads or fails out of it at first. But seeing you like this, thinking all is lost, well. It reminded me of it. So it’s yours to deal with now. You’re welcome.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Thank you... I'll keep it in mind. But Happy is dead, and I'm not worth her forgiveness.

*she opened the door for him, letting him into the nursery, two little babies lied in one crib, and a toddler was asleep in the other*

Bast looks down at the children, then speaks quietly so as not to wake them. “Happy is. . . The snake girl, isn’t she? She’s not as dead as you seem to think.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

... My wife was a Naga, yes... But I watched her body be torn apart by iron spikes. I know she's dead. There's no way she isn't. *he lied her hand on one of the babies, gently rubbing their skin with her thumb* they're so small... I never thought of myself having children like this. Not after... I didn't think I'd have babies. Didn't think I was capable, even disregarding my... Preferences in partners.

“I suppose you have to live for a lot longer than either of us have before you stop being surprised by what you can do.”

Bast puts a hand on Bathbomb’s shoulder.

“You have some surprises left in you, I’m sure.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Maybe. I just thought this was another thing my father too from me. Or that my vampirism would have taken

Bast looks at the kids, still sleeping soundly. He seems to realize something, that these for his cousin are the same as his studies are for him.

“They’re beautiful,” he says, “I hope you’ll stay around long enough to see what they become.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Maybe. Isn't it messed up that they'd probably have better lives without me though?

“Dropped into our cutthroat world, without a mentor figure who knows her way around and can protect them?”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Oh please, you must not have been paying attention to how badly I screwed up with the others

“I’ve been. . . busy since the war.” Bast trails off, lost in his thoughts. He snaps back to the present. “Can’t blame you. You never exactly had great role models. You can’t have been worse than Uncle.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

... Sometimes I doubt that. Camilla barely interacts with me, Petty hates me, Spine is on the run as a single father with his girlfriend having been kidnapped because of me, and these two.... I resent them already. Because of their father and what he did to me... To Nora.

“Nonsense. They don’t bear their father’s sins any more than you bear yours. Where would I be if I decided to resent you for my attempted murder? I doubt I’d even know my name. It’s illogical.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

I resented Petty's father to the point I killed her family. Siblings and mother, dead because of me.

“I was there for that one.” Bast nods. “And so what? You’ve done bad things, and now you die so you can avoid the consequences and pressure to grow as a person?”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

I'm not going to die anytime soon Bast, at least not this century

“You’d better not. I have plans, and all this ‘oh the world is better off without me’ hogwash is a threat to them.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

I have to be alive long enough to see my last children grow up at least

Bast sighs. “I guess that will do for now.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

After so many attempts on my life, I'm surprised you still want me around

“That’s slander.” If he had pupils, Bast would be rolling his eyes. “My plans are methodical and my workings need not make sense to you.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

You care about me~ or maybe you'd be bored without someone who isn't terrified or wanting to experiment on you

“Slander,” Bast hisses, melting into a puddle on the ground, “Lies meant to tarnish my perfectly wicked name.” He starts to seep towards the doorway.

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Leaving already? *she chuckled, picking up one of the babies* you sure you don't want to hold one of them first?...

Bast reforms his usual silhouette. “Are you certain it won’t spit up on me?”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

... If he does I'll let you put yourself in my blood stream

“If you’re sure. . .” Bast reaches out with elongated, dark hands.

just-bathbomb-thoughts

*she gently places the baby in his arms, making sure his form is stable enough to support it before stepping back* look at you.... Precious.

Bast stares at it, unsure of what to DO with the thing. He settles for rocking his arms slightly.

“This is humiliating.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

You think? I always thought you'd have been godfather to my children if thing went... The way they were supposed to.

Bast sighs, still rocking the child. “How were they supposed to go, Seph? I wasn’t cursed so I just got assassinated? You weren’t betrayed so you died in childbirth nine months after your wedding night?” He chuckles. “No, there were never any happy endings in store for us. The maze of our lives is nothing but dead ends; we’ve been doomed since birth.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

*she stared at the baby for a moment before sighing* father was going to kill you. You would have died the night you went missing if you drank the wine. I know there was no happy end but.... If my father had just... Left you alone. All of us would have been okay...

“You’d be in a loveless marriage with an abuser. I’d be stuck in a role I never wanted to play, and the whole kingdom would suffer from it.” Bast stares at the child too. “I think that, horrible as it is, this was our best outcome.”

He looks up at Seph.

“Give them better options than we had.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

... We would have had each other though... And it would have ended eventually. Who knows how long we'll be stuck like this?... *she reached over and took the infant from his arms, setting him back into the crib*

“I suppose.” Bast melts down again. “Our talks are always very informative. Next time maybe you won’t be feeling so bleak.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Life as long as ours, you get tired eventually. You at least get to listen in on all the good gossip

“Oh yes, that reminds me.” Bast’s head reforms from the puddle to recite what may be another prophecy.

“Wrath and joy are now as one.

“Look for rage to find your Sun.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Rage? Any idea what thats supposed to mean?

“Oh please, if I explained every prophecy that I heard, I wouldn’t be having any fun anymore, now would I?”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

If you don't at least give me a hint I'll shut off the taps to my office and bedroom for a decade.

Bast tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsks quietly. “You’re so cruel to me, it’s almost sinful. Curiosity is deadly for a cat, you know.” His voice fades as he provides a hint somehow more cryptic than the prophecy itself.

just-bathbomb-thoughts

*she huffs softly, shaking her head in frustration* never easy with you... Would you like me to talk to the family about meeting you? Or would you like to forgo that for another few decades?

“Feel free to arrange something. If you need me, you still know how to reach me. Knock thrice on the pipes and say my name.”

just-bathbomb-thoughts

Thank you... For the visit. I missed you.

There’s no response. He’s probably gone, but Seph knows better than to think that means he couldn’t hear her.

just-seven-sins-thoughts

A low voice echoes through the sewer around Wrath. It chuckles softly; a sound not unlike a drowning human, then says “Oh, I’m so glad you could make it. You know, of all the sins, you were always my favorite.”

*they look around for whoever is speaking* Hello? Who are you? I’m flattered I guess, but you aren’t like, a crazy fan right? A lot of my fans are murderers, and I literally just got this body, so I’d rather not lose it immediately

It laughs again. “No, no, I wouldn’t say that. I’m just someone who needs a favor. It’s the least you can do after I helped you out of that grave, isn’t it?”

just-seven-sins-thoughts

Well, technically, this guy helped me out *they nudge the dead guy with their foot* but I assume he was working under you, or was you, so what’s the favour?

“Hmm.” It hums. “You’re smarter than you look.”

The voice’s owner finally makes himself known, slinking out of the shadows. He’s tall, with a round head and perfectly white eyes. Beyond that, he seems to be formless. A large mass of viscous, black fluid.

“It’s fairly simple. Even you shouldn’t have difficulty with it.”

just-seven-sins-thoughts

*they didn’t seem particularly impressed by his form, but maybe more surprised. Of course, not many normal humans would choose to reside in a sewer, so they were expecting something at least a little abnormal* That’s fucking rude, I’m good with things and tasks! It’s Sloth you wanna worry about, idiot rarely even wakes up.

Bast sighs. “All I ask is that you take this vial and pour it into the waters of hell. Do you think you can manage that, or should I go and speak with Envy?”

As he speaks, a hand seems to emerge from his form, holding a small, glass vial filled with black liquid. It offers the vial to Wrath.

“It’s the least you can do for the one who saved you.”

just-seven-sins-thoughts

… I’m not entirely sure you expect me to get to hell, but sure, I’ll try my best. *they take the vial* Also, I doubt you’d be able to find Envy, they haven’t left the void for a while.

“I think you misunderstand.” Bast grabs Wrath’s wrist. “You will pour this into the waters of hell, or so help me I will put you back where I found you. Am I making myself clear?”

just-seven-sins-thoughts

I don’t think you understand who you’re talking to. *her eyes glow red* I am doing this for you because I don’t want to owe you one, not because I’m afraid of you. Am I making myself clear?

“Crystal.” Bast backs off, smiling. “I trust you can find your way back.” He waves a hand dismissively and starts to slink off back into the sewers. “Have fun on your quest,” he says as he vanishes out of sight.

just-seven-sins-thoughts

Thanks…*they leave and climb back out of the sewer, squinting again* now, how the fuck do I get to hell?

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