I'm Hope 🌻

doing my best // forever leveling up xray tech // BS rad therapy student // artist ✏️🎨📸💉📚📖☕ I promise I'm just trying to get through the day. And I'm definitely drinking coffee.

[just-refuse-to-be-stopped]

6/2/26

It feels good to be back!

So life updates! I graduated from xray school in 2023 and took a small few year hiatus to work with my degree, save some money, move, and take care of some personal life things.

This semester I am taking a quick history class at my old school and I just got accepted into a Radiation Therapy program that I am so excited about, which will start Fall of 2026 ❣️

I'm a little nervous about working 3 12-hour shifts and also doing 3 8-hour clinical shifts per week on top of studying as it's a one year program for my bachelor's, but at this point I am going to do whatever it takes.

This is the first steps to an even better life for myself and the first of many steps in my plan toward Medical Dosimetry.

Blessed is an understatement. Time to bust my ass for the next year 💝

[thelastsentencesblog]

when i decided to go back to school, i did not realize how much i would be pissed off by ai. like what.

thats how my teachers are treating the topic so far:

- we had a workshop today where we had to research the „proper way“ to use chat gpt and perplexity ai and to „expand our knowledge on what ai can do“.

- our teachers (yes, more than one) are using chat gpt to make work sheets.

- they tell us to use chat gpt for homworks if we have questions.

- one teacher gave us information papers to a (more or less) complex topic, all of it was copy and paste from chat gpt.

- a classmate asked how we are supposed to structure the presentation, the teacher said to use ai. „at least then it looks professional,“ he said.

- another teacher told us to just ask chat gpt to answer the question from the work sheet, because the answer wasn’t „satisfactory and needed more information“

- in group projects, classmates just put the instructions in chat gpt and don’t bother to look the topic up further.

- classmates use chat gpt for presentations (like completely structured ones) and then proceed to not do a damn for the rest of the time.

- classmates use it for questions on work papers and when ask what they mean, they try to laugh it off, because they don’t know the answer.

i am so pissed that it is way too normalized to use ai instead of our brain in school.

what are you even gonna do when you take the exams?

i might be a bitch for saying it, but if you only rely on chatgpt - to pass class and get good grades so you have more time to disturb the lessons - well, i really hope you fail.

[just-refuse-to-be-stopped]

My best friend is someone I met in xray school. She has been my support system for the past 3-4 years, and I've been hers.

She can constantly talk to me on the phone, this girl talked to me on the phone for seven hours during my drive to Missouri, and the same for when I had to drive 4 hours there and 4 hours back to Southern IL.

She is trying to convince me that together we should get our bachelor's and masters in our degree fields and I'm thinking of saying yes, let's do it.

Perhaps this is my sign, my chance to realize my full potential. What if I'm actually good at it? What if fear stopped me? What if rude doctors, a fear of imperfection, and losing sleep stopped me from my full potential?

What if I end up jobless, or unable to pay off my loans and afford a house because I didn't take a huge chance on myself?

If I don't bet on myself, who else will? I am my most important investment.

Doing this gives me so many options. But leaves me with so many concerns. I really need to buckle down and focus on my discipline. I really need to believe in myself as much as other people do. I really need to let go of the idea that other people are capable of doing something like this and I'm not.

There once was a point in my life when I was much younger, and I wanted to be a doctor.

Then, I realized exactly how hard that is and how long it takes to get an MD and also how much it costs with no time to have a job while doing so.

My determination has to be greater than my fear. My desire has to be louder than my doubts. I can do it.

I think I will do it. 🥰

[soulmaking]

from orchid woman summer

[just-refuse-to-be-stopped]

Drawing prompt:

[tattoome]

[macgyvermedical]

Took me until about halfway through college before I realized “study” means “play with the material in a variety of ways until you understand it” and not just “read the assigned chapters and do the homework” and I think that probably should have been discussed at some point prior to that.

[andallshallbewell]

[just-refuse-to-be-stopped]

Life can look so vastly different in such a small amount of time.

2023 changed the course of my life forever

I…. Left an abusive relationship. Started pouring into my own cup again.

I graduated xray school, and developed a backbone to fight for what I believe in and make my voice heard.

We received some bad news during the summer about my mother’s health, she is currently recovering from a major surgery.

I will be taking my first out of country trip this upcoming summer

Which also means I ordered a passport finally!

At the end of 2023, I started a new urgent care position as an xray tech and I also get to do other clinical related tasks

And for so many reasons, my life will never be the same as it was in the past years.

Things that happened in the last year and a half or so have changed me forever, both for the good and the bad.

I think I’m grateful for it all.

[a-path-by-the-moon]

[dailyinspirationquotes]

Follow us to stay motivated each day!

[just-refuse-to-be-stopped]

I knew I grew as a person when I started asking myself like "what's one small thing i can do/start today that will benefit my future?".

[just-refuse-to-be-stopped]

Need to remember to think about things like this!

[just-refuse-to-be-stopped]

I never thought I would be here.

I'm right back where I started. Technically. At my mother's house, studying under a heated blanket. Except everything has come full circle.

I'm less than 1.5 semesters away from graduating xray school. I cannot believe that it's been almost 2 years of xray school, and I cannot express how excited I am to almost be done.

I'm almost done with my 4th semester of clinicals. I'm taking a class called Advanced Rad Tech I. Life is so crazy. I am so utterly proud of myself for how hard I've pushed myself so far in this program. And I'm so close to being done, that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now.

I can do this, and I'm going to.

I have to. My family needs me too. I need me too. I'm so excited to see where next year will take me.

[alwaysfightforwhatyouwant]

I get so caught up in the future. Where I'm going, what I'm doing, what I have to do, what I should do. What's coming, what I will need to learn, and see, and do obviously. What it will take to support at least both myself and my mother, full time. What I will do to be happy..

And I put this on my computer before I started the Radiography program. And I just.. Got this. It's not too hard, it's just hard enough. This journey I'm on is what I need to be doing to give myself the future I want. This is the first step in the process of my growth and development as an adult and medical field worker. I need to remember that sometimes. I'm not there yet, but I'm on my way. I'm going. I'm doing my best to succeed in this a lot. I still have a really long way to go. But I am getting there. I need to maintain focus and keep my eye on the prize, because in all reality I have less than 2 years left to learn everything and it will completely fly by.

[just-refuse-to-be-stopped]

Posted this on my other account but..💜💕 I do got this.

[just-refuse-to-be-stopped]

06/19/21 12:41 // crazy.

I've completed the first half of the first semester of my radiography program, and honestly, I cannot believe it. I'm barely sleeping enough, but that's okay. I'm still working in an emergency department. I try to study at work when I can. My off days consist of lots of studying, homework, and food. I can't wait to start clinicals in August.

When I started this I didn't think I could do it. I thought surely I'd crumble under pressure and have given up by now. I know it will get MUCH more difficult than this. I know I will cry. I also know that it will be okay... As long as I can pass these classes, I will be okay.

Here's to not giving up. Here for planning lots of things, and aiming for the future. I'm not giving up on myself any more. 🥰 Can't wait to see where I will be in 1.5 years... I hope it's good. I hope I can save money. I will make sure I do what I need to do.

[just-refuse-to-be-stopped]

03/24/21 7:03pm

Just got back from my first shift at my new job.. Studying for my exam this Friday..

Always keep pushing. 💜🥰

[just-refuse-to-be-stopped]

03/14/21 2:00pm // My computer background kinda got a point. Math practice for the rest of the day today 😊💕 hereby promising myself if I pass this exam, I'm buying myself an 11" iPad Pro soonish before the summer semester starts. 🥰😍

[just-refuse-to-be-stopped]

Daily 💜