An Ocean Locked in Person

I have been called an ocean. I write poetry that either can break a heart, or repair one that even time can't heal.

[just-restless-poetry]

As Official ~ Day Three

Tuesday ~ October 30

... and suddenly, i wasn’t sure anymore. I didn’t know what i was trying to do or find.. The feeling i had and still have- were confusing to me, though they never had been before. I’ve always liked you, since i saw you, until your hand brushed my arm and i went electric... You are some sort of magic, drawing a reaction from me, that no one can. Lighting my heart on fire, and putting a spark in my soul that turns me into a blushing mess. Darling, do you quite understand what you’ve done to me? You’ve turned me into a love-struck mess... and this time?... i’m not scared. i used to be fearful with the one before you, that i was going to get hurt. That he’d leave.. that he’d turn on me... But with you? ... I’m not scared anymore..

... i trust you.

[just-restless-poetry]

“The Realization”

i think i’m seeing it now...

See the mistake was

you let me read your things of her...

And i’ve been thinking.. And now my mind is in these files..

Her

I’ve read the story now darling..

How you see her…

… She is, as you said in your own words..

...your light,

Your blossom,

And your life..

And i'm just me, right?

Leaving

.. That’s what will make you truly happy…

Isn’t it?

You told me..

… I could never make you as happy

As leaving does…

But darling

It isn’t fair..

… Why can’t i make you happy too?

My Spilling Ink

It bleeds and cries,

Sinking deep into this paper,

Never to be able to heal

Or go back…

… what’s done is done…

...It’s true isn’t it?...

… what’s done is done…

… are we done?

[just-restless-poetry]

excerpt from a book i will never write

 We laid on the floor in perfect chaos. Television mumbling in the background, a bag of chips above our heads, and music chiming out of a tiny radio on the nearest table... And darling we were so happy, joking about a pun you just told me, and laughter spilled from our lips... And you gave me that look you always did, that made me feel like i was really something special and i smiled at you... But then when an add came on tv, and our laughter subsided, your eyes went blank.

 “Hey, you okay?” I whisper, a smile still lingering on my lips; but it dissolved as you turned your blank stare on me.

 “I don’t love you.” He whispers and something in me aches.

 “W-What? Where... did that come from?” I whisper and he sits up, and doesn't look at me.

 “I don't love you. Get out.” He says quietly and i know something must be wrong.

 “Wait this.. this doesn't make sense. S-Sweetie, what’s wrong?” I ask, my voice cracking and i place a hand on his shoulder; but he flinches out of it and gives me a shove back to the floor.

 “Get out of my house!” He growls at me and his eyes are cold... And i don't feel the tears start to fall but my vision blurs and i trip, running out of the family room. I grab my shoes and sit by the front door briefly and he comes down the hall to me. I’m hoping he’ll tell me what i did.. Why he’s saying this, but he just grabs me by under my arms, and puts me outside. He shuts and locks the glass front door.

 “W-Wait p-please.. Tell me what i did wrong. Don’t you love me?” I cry to him and he just laughs, humorlessly.

 “I have never loved you.” He snaps, honesty shining in his cold eyes and he slams the other door shut and i just sit there, frozen for a moment...

I was used this whole time...

[just-restless-poetry]

Packing Up

today i was packing up your things.

the things you must’ve thought you left behind.

the ribbon i used to wear in my hair

that you gave me..

The markers,

the notebook,

and the picture of us...

I don't understand...

We could have been happy...

But i’m not an item..

and i wont be treated like one...

So come and get your things next time you come out...

They’ll be in the little bag with your name on it.

[just-restless-poetry]

lie to me

darling...

i wish you’d lie to me...

tell me

you never loved me.

that it was fake.

that you never

wanted me.

tell me,

i was a distraction.

i was used...

At least then..

I could finally get over you.

[just-restless-poetry]

Okay

honey i think

it really changed

every single thing.

I feel lighter now.

i don't have to

worry or fear.

the feeling...

is indescribable...

the feelings-

they come in waves.

first relief washes over me;

and then hurt.

It’s replaced then

by nostalgia;

and then reduced

to tears...

But in the end

i feel okay...

And that’s all

I’m aiming for...

Is to be okay.

[just-restless-poetry]

Marven Ship

Am I the only one who still loves maven as a character?

[just-restless-poetry]

“Her”

She’s falling again.

Down, down, down....

There’s no end to the chasm,

And there will be no climbing out.

She approaches and lives life like a candle flame…

Faint, fading, flickering…

It’s like she isn't even here sometimes…

Has she ever really been here?

She’s tied down to earth by a heavy heart,

But her thoughts are amid the clouds-

No one notices when she’s down-

No one notices she’s hurt unless she’s bleeding.

She feels like a ghost,

Floating through a world not meant for her.

She feels invisible-

She’s fading again.

She opens her mouth to speak her soft words.

The ones that don’t see the light.

The ones that hide beneath her skin-

Afraid of what people will think if they found out.

But nobody ever told her, darling your skin isn’t paper-

Darling don’t cut!

She curls into a ball on the floor in her long sleeves,

Afraid of what she could do.

She’s always smiling-

She’ll never say she’s fading…

But you can see it in her dull gray eyes…

She’s not here anymore.

She’s fighting again.

Kicking, Clawing, thrashing…

But she can’t escape the prison she’s made for herself

Inside her mind.

She’s locked herself in chains-

Tells herself this is how monsters deserve to be treated.

Tells herself it’s safer to keep her chains on,

And just smile to the crowd.

… She’s fading…

And no one can save her.

She’s falling into the chasm… And she’s never climbing out.

Her smiles are growing fake-

More act than joy-

But nobody can see the mask...

So again, away again she fades, going to hide.

Nobody can hear her screams for help,

Because when she opens her mouth,

She can’t speak the words,

And Just says she’s okay… She always is…

Isn’t she?

… Of course I would know..

She never has been…

Locking herself away, thinking herself a monster…

And i was asked how i know all this…

It’s quite simple…

She’s me.

[just-restless-poetry]

“Toss Me Away, Love”

“Lock me in a bottle,

And throw me into the ocean.

I’d rather drown at sea,

Then fall captive to your lies again.

I loved you with my whole being;

you left me with nothing but a broken heart’s beat.

I would have given you the world had you asked for it.

 And I would have torn myself apart,

to give you any pieces of yourself that you needed.

 And i think I did...

Because all of my love..

All of my wanting...

it still rests in you...

Long after you left me...

You were made to love Her...

But you still hold my heart in your hands...

You pull my heart strings,

and enjoy the dance i do...

So toss me away,

and save me the misery...

I can’t take the pain any longer.”

[just-restless-poetry]

“Alone”

Hide me behind this mask, and let my words just flow.

Let me be too loud, or never speak at all.

May my words have meaning, or let them all fall short.

Never make me live, without the emotion i require.

Take me to the world’s masquerade, where we all fake confidence.

Allow me to breathe in moments, where most would be afraid.

I am one of my own, And in the end that’s all i’ll be...

Alone.

[just-restless-poetry]

How many times can one heart bend, until it breaks?

-ten word story

[just-restless-poetry]

He loved her like the ocean; deeply, wild, and constant.

-Ten word story

[just-restless-poetry]

“Monsters”

Let me clarify something to every fanciful and wonderfully beautiful mind…

Monsters do not only exist in fairy tales.

Did you catch that? They don’t.

Monsters are real darling,

And they live inside us.

What makes it your monster?

Is it because of their claws?

Because of the fire in their soul and the embers on their tongue?

Or even the feeling you get of them ripping you raw inside?

Monsters are real darling;

And they live inside us.

You want me to lie and deny it?

I’m afraid I can’t do that…

Because some people fall in love with other people’s monsters.

Some people want to kiss the claws of the monster,

But disregard the person for an animal..

I know because i’ve watched it happen. It is dark,

Lonely,

Cold,

And ruthless…

But being cold-hearted is what most people perfect today…

So beware of the monster;

It’s dark inside…

You may either fall for it’s charm…

Or be torn apart by it’s claws.

[wnq-writers]

I’m too much and not enough, in that order.

viejawanderingsoul  (via wnq-writers)

Why do I feel like I relate to this so much?

[wnq-writers]

May you fall in love with someone, who never gets tired of saving you from your own chaos.

thetypewriterdaily (via wnq-writers)

This is really beautiful to me.... <3

[just-restless-poetry]

Wings Fandom

So like it’s not just me that thinks about this right? Like imagine you have wings! After like an awful day you just cuddle into the couch with coffee or tea or whatever you like really and then your wings just wrap around you. How sweet would that be? And then imagine, you meet someone with the same color and shape as your wings? What would happen from there?

[shareaquote]

You were my sunset love. Beautiful while it lasted. Intense, soft, a beginning & and end at the same time. You were my sunset love. Sunset, love. Watch the sunset, love. It’ll be gone before you know it. Don’t blink, love. Watch the sun set, love. Do you ever think about how It’s a sunrise for someone else? I do. Watch the sun set, love. Don’t blink, love. You watched the sun set, love. And I watched you. My sunset love, Don’t blink I told myself. The sunset over us that day, love. Your sun set, love. Beautiful, intense, soft. Over in seconds. How was I supposed to know that our sunset love was also over? You were my sunset love. You were my sun set, love. Don’t blink, love. Don’t blink. Don’t. You were my sunset, love. You were my sunset. You were mine. You were. You.

sincereserendipityy (via wnq-writers)

This is reallly pretttttyyyyyyyy~!

(Excuse me; I may just be emotional)