[despazito]

they should hold 4 versions of every olympic event in this order to witness the full breadth of human capabilities:

primary schoolers

random nonathletic adults

olympians

olympians roided and doped up to the max

[sesamie-moving]

eating pastries is so humiliating cause you'll be having the time of your life having it and then when you're finished you look down and you're covered in flakes and sugardust like fuuuck now everyone is going to know i'm a messy pastry whore

[nyaa]

[sealsdaily]

Today's Seal Is: Yay Yay Yay Wahoo Yippee!

[the-muppet-joker]

People I need to apologize to in order to grow as a person:

My ex polycule

My ex roommates

God

The Pope

My bitch of a mother

Guy named Ethan (stole his hair)

Guy named Dylan (ate his soap)

Gerard Way (killed his immortal vampire soul)

Horses I need to apologize to:

My father's prized horse Bucephalus (attempted murder via poisoning)

[thecroakersisterhood]

Notable People Not on this list

Your father (shat at his door)

Your Aunt and Uncle (showed up at their house with a katana)

[thecroakersisterhood]

Also

The therapist you tried to run over with a car

[the-muppet-joker]

Yeah but those guys had it coming

[dizzypets]

drew my lps mascot/sona+some ocs!

[izzypaw]

biggest lie i ever said!!

[scarybrained]

life isn't all bad, thanks to the faerie festival I finished my dream neopets crosspaint (alien/halloween/darigan aisha based on the dog from The Thing)

[8bitnatsuki-deactivated20200525]

[versegm]

Frankly some of you should be hornier over weirder shit. The fear of being too genuine is the enemy of art. Be a bit of a pervert. It's good for the health. Doesn't have to be a sexual thing just own up to being a bit obsessed in some cringe shit it's fine.

[remyousa]

[oceantoyz]

[bifauxnnen]

How it feels when a larger account decides to follow me and we become mutuals

[horrorfilmdyke]

lets out a single agonized bloodcurdling scream but doesnt elaborate on why and just walks it off

[durbikins]

[buddwyer]

it's so funny when it affects you long-term

[retroactivebakeries]

lmao it's irrevocable

[buddwyer]

😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

[fishing-lesbian-princess]

Just saw someone with “use whatever pronouns you use for yourself for me” in bio. I honestly never considered the depth the pronoun metagame could have, we’ve barely scratched the surface with this shit

[outofcontextanimash]

[floozys-deactivated20180908]

is this stitch’s girlfriend somehow edited over princess tiana’s frog body? i’m actually going to pass out

[outofcontextanimash]

she’s your therapist and she’s trying to help you bitch