On the Topic of LGBTQ+ Fanfiction
So I was trying to work on my Catradora fanfiction while searching up some random topics on google (as you do during your writing process, y’know) when I stumbled across a post on /r/Fanfiction titled “Why So Much Gay Shipping in Fanfiction?”
Being the curious folk I am, I started scrolling through the replies. One in particular got me very curious, one stating that there had been a poll taken on Ao3 some time ago that reflected most of the population on Ao3 was made-up of non-heterosexual folks. And then I kind of laughed to myself because, although I noticed it before, I hadn’t realized it was that big. A bunch of the FF discord groups and such I’ve been in have consisted of so many LGBTQ+ folks it was almost shocking, and it made me feel right at home.
But then I started to wonder. Why is that, exactly? Sure, we could simply explain it by the fact the general media has been long known to exclude the LGBTQ+ experience and even with the recent positive changes on that end, heterosexual relationships still make up a vast majority of the couples we see on TV, movies, and books. So where would us LGBTQ+ folks go? Well, obviously, we’d dive straight into fanfiction.
But I believe there something else at play here. I’ve recently started questioning my own sexuality. I’ve identified as a bisexual cis woman with a strong preference for women for years now, but only recently have I’ve been contemplating whether I’m actually a lesbian. Thus, due to my own struggle to redefine my sexuality and my awkwardness in talking to lesbians or other bisexual women, I jumped straight into old posts from the /r/actuallesbians subreddit for some advice on girls, and I found a post from a lesbian talking about her frustration on not having had a relationship or her first kiss with a woman and how she desperately wanted to do so. One of the comments on said post mentioned how it’s a common experience for LGBTQ+ folks to have what heterosexual individuals mark as the “awkward teenage romance” stage until later. And you know what? It makes sense. While het kids are spending their time worried about their first crushes and that cute boy/girl in their class, LGBTQ+ kids might as well be contemplating why exactly they feel different, out of place, weird in this heteronormative society. It’s not until you come to terms with who you like or who you are that you actively start to date and such, after all. Not to mention, we have such little education on these topics that when we do figure that out, we have no idea where to start!
Now going back to the topic of fanfiction, there’s an interesting article I read once marking the parallels between shippers (who often actively either read and/or write fanfiction) and how there’s a tendency to subconsciously insert yourself into the ship. In a way, part of ourselves might be living vicariously through the characters we ship. The giddiness they feel when they realize their crush reciprocates? We feel it. The high of emotions they get during their first kiss? We thrive off of it. The intense love and care that neatly wraps up a beautiful fluffy fic? We treasure it. It’s almost like we’re actively putting a part of our soul into the stories we love–smiling and giggling the same way the characters might do in the story. The kind of things our heterosexual friends could do themselves while discovering their own curiosities and interest in romance during their teenage years. The kind of things we’re often deprived off at that age because we’re still trying to figure out who we even are. And thus, what other ways to engage in those beautiful, confusing, giddy and human feelings than to read and/or write our OTP in a fanfiction, canon or not?
But that’s just my two cents. Obviously, there’s always exceptions, and there’s always many other factors playing into it. This was just an interesting thought that has been on my mind for some time now I wanted to share. If you read through to the end of this, thanks! I will link one of the websites I found for the Ao3 survey below.
Have a great day and keep on shipping! :)
