[justarewrite]

When a necrophiliac is sad over their close friend's death, do they get mourning wood?

[justarewrite]

*Walks in on you masturbating, and, coffee cup in hand, leans against the door frame*

"So, Jerkin' hard or hardly jerkin'?"

[justarewrite]

"These spiders, they wasn't an issue before. See, ol' Vinny used to run a whole crew of centipedes based outta the shower drain and they kept the whole place in line. I'm talkin' full protection, no Crawler unaccounted for, and any caught stepping outside the lines? *imitates slitting throat with a knife* Donezo, on the spot. It was a damn clean operation and everybody looked up to Vinny, paid their respects. Until about a month ago, when some hotshot ordered a hit on the guy. Can you believe it? Some dumb blonde sees him in the shower, flips her lid, and has her friend stomp him out. One of the most brutal kills I've seen, and I've seen my share. *takes a long drag off a cigarette* Now, if you ask me? The rest of Vinny's crew got away scot free. Yeah, even Scott Free. They watched their boss get squashed like a bug, helpless, and came away with a thirst for vengeance. But they're centipedes, how are they gonna get back at some humans? *exhales drag and leans over the table, handcuffs clinking together* I tell you how. Spiders. Remnants of the House Cent crew quietly let the Crawler gang know it's open season. And the Crawlers are skeptical, y'know? Trust takes time, people get skittish in the business. But after a handful of scouts go out and come back unharmed, with tales of wonder and woe? They start to rally everyone up, abandon the nest, and start to march lightward. For glory, for adventure, and for the vengeance they desperately crave. *leans back in the booth and ashes the cigarette in a glass of applejuice*"

"Ma'am, this is Denny's."