ganchi

On a journey to reparent & heal my inner child.

[violetvibrations]

@ sun_keep

[eyeheartfarms]

.

[rosefinchie]

full of hay

[everybody-wants-me-dead]

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]

[radical-revolution]

[allblackerrthingus]

X

[justbreathe-95]

I can’t tell you the last time

I slept through the night

peacefully.

My mind never rests

Whether awake

Or asleep.

Just please,

For the love of God

Please

Make the thoughts

Stop.

Nightmares.

[adhdcognizant-deactivated202110]

Crazyheadcomics 🙂🙃

[justbreathe-95]

I just had an epiphany. I was taking a number of love language quizzes and got a different result each time, but after answering so many questions something clicked. I don’t need a quiz to tell me, I know exactly what my ranking is and more importantly, WHY. Will be sharing this with my therapist in a few days.

Acts of service - parents relationship was based on each doing their part. Dad always told me I was stupid and couldn’t do anything right or on my own, so I depend on others to help me.

Gifts - they spoiled me because I was an only child, they were emotionally & physically unavailable and probably felt guilty.

Quality time - never got this as a kid because parents always worked. For us quality time was watching tv together at night.

Words of affirmation - never got this but the opposite. Dad would also never say ILY and when mom would it was physically cringey for me to say it back. I would just say “me too” never “I love you too.”

Physical touch - never got or gave hugs, mom would force kiss my face and i fucking hated it. Only physical touch I ever got from dad was when he would pull my ears to the point of them ripping a little and bleeding, or the occasional smack across the face.

As for communication style…I’m judgmental, critical, verbally abusive, have a short temper, and am bossy/entitled as fuck. Not usually in the beginning of relationships, but once we get to a certain point of comfort….yeah. It’s bad. My dad was just like this to both me and my mom.

I refuse to be in another romantic relationship until I’m no longer like this. I haven’t been single in 10+ years, jumping from one toxic relationship to the next. I finally feel strong enough to take on these issues on my own. I’m ready. I can’t wait until I’m on the other side of this.

[positivelypositivethoughts]

[gulistan-blog]

㋡🥀

[mereljournals]

Bonjour Paris. ✨ (by Merel)