There is, in the end, the letting go.

Erin. 30. Psychologist. Writer. Gay. 🌈 Doing the eating disorder recovery thing again.

[adhdcognizant-deactivated202110]

Crazyheadcomics 🙂🙃

[abernathyvalois]

sometimes i think life really truly is horrible but then i remember how many more autumns i will get to experience in my lifetime and how many good books i will read and how many comfy sweaters i will wear and how many great meals i will eat and how many times i will sit at my friends kitchen table at midnight and talk about nothing that really matters

[void-veneris]

and how many more winter mornings i will brew that invigorating cup of coffee and the new music i will discover and how i will watch so many more beautiful sunsets and all the times my heart will swell when i listen to my loved ones talk about something they have a passion for and all the walks i will take on the beach yes in the grand scheme of things life is wondrous

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

[justsomeantifas]

people for some reason have this idea that perfectionists like produce really great work and that’s it’s good for productivity, when like… literally most perfectionists can’t finish shitfuck because they’re like “well, it sucks, so why finish making something that will amount to pure trash anyway”

[s00nstuck023]

2021 be like: I’m thriving. I’m miserable. I am revisiting old hobbies. None of my hobbies are fun. I’m walking a lot. I have a vitamin D deficiency. The pandemic has lasted one month. The pandemic is over. The pandemic has lasted for 10 years. I am completely isolated. I talk to my friends constantly. I love working from home. Fourteen months have vanished from existence. I have a repetitive stress injury from working from home. I’m sick to death of working from home. Everyone is getting vaccinated. There’s three new variants that no-one is vaccinated from. Stay indoors. Start going out. Outdoor dining. Restart the economy. Don’t touch. Isn’t it great that we’re finally going back to normal?

[free-egg-voucher]

corporations trying to profit off of queer people by showing their support for only one month of the year is bad

and

it’s fun to watch conservatives get pissed that they can’t shop at target anymore because the big bad rainbows will corrupt their children :(

and

the existence of rainbow capitalism in the first place proves that society is now in a place where supporting queer people is the more profitable and thus more popular opinion and that means something

are all viewpoints that can absolutely coexist

[spelldealer]

me in five years when i still don’t have my life together:

[inaminadikaaa]

[cavehags]

Thus is the defining characteristic of gay millennials: we straddle the pre-Glee and post-Glee worlds. We went to high school when faggot wasn't even considered an F-word, when being a lesbian meant boys just didn't want you, when being nonbinary wasn't even a remote option. We grew up without queer characters in our cartoons or Nickelodeon or Disney or TGIF sitcoms. We were raised in homophobia, came of age as the world changed around us, and are raising children in an age where it's never been easier to be same-sex parents. We're both lucky and jealous. As the state of gay evolved culturally and politically, we were old enough to see it and process it and not take it for granted--old enough to know what the world was like without it. Despite the success of Drag Race, the existence of lesbian Christmas rom-coms, and openly transgender Oscar nominees, we haven't moved on from the trauma of growing up in a culture that hates us. We don't move on from trauma, really. We can't really leave it in the past. It becomes a part of us, and we move forward with it.

For LGBTQ+ milennials, our pride is couched in painful memories of a culture repulsed and frightened by queerness. That makes us skittish. It makes us loud. It makes us fear that all this progress, all this tolerance [...] can vanish as quickly as it all appeared.

The 2000s Made Me Gay, Grace Perry

[jhscdood]

[its-unwell-girl]

[adventures-in-therapy]

Me putting my therapist’s suggestions into practice:

[erin-rising]

Literally cannot work today because all I can think about is food/weight/my body/how much I want to crawl out of my skin. And I’m ~not even sick~ anymore, so why are the thoughts this intense?

Eating disorders are so boring and exhausting and sad.

[erin-rising]

Working from home is great because you can take breaks to sob about your weight in the middle of the workday

[erin-rising]

Having a chronic eating disorder is so frustrating. I can always come up with a reason why I’m using behaviors, but is there actually a reason? Or is this just ~what I do?~

[margot-terc]

learning to move around discomfort

[erin-rising]

I’m feeling... protective of my eating disorder. I don’t want to relapse, but I don’t want to commit to doing Full Recovery Things either. Especially cutting back on exercise. It’s so hard to see that as a beneficial thing for me. Ugh.

[leafie-draws]

by the time this pandemic ends I’ll have to be slowly rehabilitated back into society like a raccoon or I’ll get scared and start biting