just leave me alone

just gonna use this to write dont mind me

[justleavemealonee]

Desire

We met IRL over a week ago, and I'm already addicted to your touch. I need it more than anything else, and I wish you weren't going away for months... I don't even care about the sex I just want to touch you and kiss you... If I told you all this it might spoil things, and I don't want to do that...

A big issue with that is I'm still not fully over my ex and he's decided to finally pay me back and fly me to England. I don't know what to tell either of them... And after everything I don't know if he deserves to see me.

[justleavemealonee]

hey dad

IDK what I want to do with my life so I'm going to pull out all my savings and move in with this dude I met on the internet

how am I supposed to do anything knowing I'll always be a disappointment to you?

Maybe I should go to uni just to make you proud...

[justleavemealonee]

I have a job now and I guess he’s proud. I’m so exhausted but at least I’m getting paid yay

[justleavemealonee]

I quit. I think I might have made the wrong decision but I’m sure I can figure something out if I really want to go back.

I really fumbled this one but now I don’t have a lift home anymore. Plus I don’t like how they schedule things.

It’s all so weird and complicated.

It makes me miss being a kid…

Ps. Forgot about the guy… we stopped talking as often so I broke it off.

We still are in contact but as friends for now.

[justleavemealonee]

hey dad

IDK what I want to do with my life so I'm going to pull out all my savings and move in with this dude I met on the internet

how am I supposed to do anything knowing I'll always be a disappointment to you?

Maybe I should go to uni just to make you proud...

[justleavemealonee]

I have a job now and I guess he’s proud. I’m so exhausted but at least I’m getting paid yay

[justleavemealonee]

hey dad

IDK what I want to do with my life so I'm going to pull out all my savings and move in with this dude I met on the internet

how am I supposed to do anything knowing I'll always be a disappointment to you?

Maybe I should go to uni just to make you proud...

[thoughtkick]

“No, I’m not ok. But I haven’t been ok since I was 11, maybe 12. I am still here though. I’m still breathing. For me, sometimes, that will have to be enough.”

— Clementine von Radics

[littlemissihaveaquestion]

Sometimes I dream about being loved

[justleavemealonee]

I want to be loved so bad it hurts. I always give all my love but it never seems to be reciprocated. It is said that love always comes back... I hope so.

[justleavemealonee]

Yearning

I always want what I can't have... My heart always wants more... How am I supposed to live like this? Falling for someone miles away... I should know it never works out, so close but yet so far. I really enjoy your company and I would love to be around you, it feels impossible but why not? Why not try anyway right? I'm worried about what this might mean for me in the end but fuck it, I want you.

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

“There is love in holding and there is love in letting go.”

— Elizabeth Berg

[decayingbooksandrainfall]

To be loved is to be known, but I'm a mystery to even to myself-

[justleavemealonee]

I wish someone knew me better than I know myself, I can barely recognise myself anymore.

I don't know what I enjoy and I've found myself trying things all over again, nothing seems to make me content. I am always just bored and tired and I want to do things but I just don't know what. I guess I should pick up a new hobby or maybe an old one, but nothing feels appealing. Life is a mess and not enjoying things is starting to take a toll.

Oh, to be loved by someonewho could help me regain passion...

[lemondropsandchimney]

In another universe, we meet, get married, and live happily ever after.

[elizabethsinclair]

love elizabeth s.

[justleavemealonee]

Giving up

Nothing ever seems to go right for me... I try so hard but I always fail. I wonder why that is, maybe I'm just terrible... That's why I don't have any friends, I'm just too intense, trying too hard. I would do anything for a a bit of normalcy in my life, it seems like that might never happen but I keep trying and one day I'll just give up and die. I'm just so tired of living like this, I want to give up.

[justleavemealonee]

I should have never been born

I recently found out my father told my mother he never loved her, and that he was just with her for convenience. They were together for 20 years. It's been about 11 years since they split up, and I'm almost 22, that's more or less how long my dad lied to her and I suppose he was just telling her the truth because they were having an honest conversation... but I'm worried he might not love me as much cause I remind him of her. I want to talk to him about this but I have no clue how to address the situation.

The other thing bugging me is that if he had been honest, she would have never dated him and my brother and I would have never been born... I wish my mum didn't have to go through that. She's had enough pain. But she's happy now and I'm so glad for her. I love her so much and she loves me like no one else could.

I wish my father was more honest with me... I want to know more about his childhood and point of view, but I'm worried he'll take it the wrong way. I want to confront him about everything but I don't know how... I've asked for a private conversation but I'm thinking of cancelling cause I don't know how to address it. I suppose I'm scared of what he might say.

I wish I had someone to talk to about this but my brother is only 18 and adores my dad... Maybe I should just let him find out his own way.

[justleavemealonee]

I spoke to my father, it was enlightening. I suppose we all say things we don't mean during a hard separation, but he did love her, just not as much as he should have... The divorce was necessary, people fall out of love and that's natural.

He loves me even though I remind him of her so much and that's very comforting. I just wish things were easier to talk about. I wish I had a friend but I guess my Tumblr blog will have to do...

[justleavemealonee]

[justleavemealonee]

[daily-spooky]

[ad-wills]