A Lost Diary @justnameitplease - Tumblr Blog

Somedays I feel like life hates me, I don't know why I had to go through so much struggle, Sometimes I can't even find time to catch my breath again, almost drowning time after time is really tiresome. Im also tired of finding strenght to keep pushing through. I just need a real break

Stained shirt

I was young, way too amazed with new experiences.

I used to love apples, tried it in many different ways.

One day I tasted a really sweet grape, it felt amazing, it was sweet, rich, tastier than everything I tried before, the more I had, the more I wanted.

As years went by, that grape turned into a fine wine, I couldn't help myself, couldn't stay away from it, when the bottle was empty I would still hold it and smell that alluring scent. It took me many years to realize I was an alcoholic for it.

I did rehab, wine was not for me, I tried to forget, replace, anything that would keep me away from that taste.

Today I was having spaghetti for dinner, dropped some sauce on my shirt, when I looked at that red stain, my mouth tingled, my lungs pulled all the oxygen they could hold, all my senses were triggered and moved like a tsunami on my brain, crashing and flooding the doors I had locked deep in my memories, I tasted, smelled, felt the cold of glass in my hands. That stained shirt brought me back memories, I dont drink wine no more but I cant help but smile when I think of It.

If you could go back in time ar any point of your life, would you? What would you change?

I'd save myself, I'd allow myself to be happy

That would kill who I am now, that would change everything, I'd lose everything that I have learned through all the pain. Would I still go back? Would you?

Inside my mind I travel far, far away, to lands, places and through time.

I see myself as random dancer at a rave party, as a guy working late at an office, as an experienced writer who just spilled coffee at a worn out table, as a homeless person, as a billionaire.

I dream away with my eyes open, Im all those people at once, and none at the same time.

I dare to see realities I'll never live, and experience them as deep as I can.

In my own world, Im anything I wish to be.

In another day, another life

I believe we would be together

You and I

Things would be different

The world wouldnt be the same

The possibility feels magnificient

Bittersweet dreams

And a bittersweet reality

I dont care about what It means